there's no scenario in which your life wouldn't be completely miserable

anonymous asked:

I think I am about to leave the fandom. I was a Larry believer, but I can't for the life of me understand why Louis is looking so happy in the UK, while Harry is miserable and drunk in LA. I don't think they're together anymore. They both said that "home" is their favorite place to be. Why wouldn't they both be in UK? They didn't have to leave on the same plane. I am so heartbroken, which is why I have to leave. We fans have to face reality - they are broken. Do you agree?

Okay.

Imagine yourself in a similar scenario with another person.  You’ve been together and in love for years since the two of you were impressionable teenagers, and because you’re both each other’s first true loves you’re obnoxiously giddy with the very idea of being a couple.

For the first few months of your relationship, you’re going to be pretty starstruck, clingy and possessive so infatuated with one another that any time spent apart is time wasted (in fact, the prospect of living together in one room for four months is heaven on earth *cough cough*).  All in all, you’re very dependent on one another, and maybe to an unhealthy extent.  It’s sweet, puppy love, endearing to anyone nearby, but you’re miserable whenever you’re apart.  (This explains a lot of why Harry and Louis used to look so tired and gloomy whenever they weren’t together for a long time).  

Overtime, however, the relationship is going to evolve.  You’ll experience less of a sappy-whipped-starstruck complex and more of a fond-bickering-teasing complex as you get more used to one another and stop trying so, so hard to impress one another (note fonding, bickering, teasing, and domestic!Larry here) - because you don't need to prove your worthiness to each other anymore; you don’t feel the need to live up to a certain standard when you’re around your significant other - they’ll simply understand that you’re someone they want to keep around, and vise versa.  By now, you’ve noted each other’s flaws and silver linings, you’ve gotten to know the deepest and darkest parts of one another, and if you're still together, that’s pretty incredible.  Think of the way you act around a family member or a best friend - sometimes you’re lazy, sometimes you don’t bother making an effort around them with appearances or social exchanges, because you know that they’ll be there with you no matter what.  This evolution is not the loss of any “spark” or “magic” as many people think - this is the relationship becoming healthier and more comfortable.  

Hopefully, after a certain amount of time, you and your significant other will reach a point where you’re not completely dependent upon each other anymore, where neither of you are miserable if you’re separated for a few days.  You’ll miss each other and look forward to the other’s return, yes, but you won’t be so insecure and addicted to the relationship as to let any separation dictate the complex.  You won’t pine and sulk and be grouchy about all other aspects of your life, because you know they’ll be back, and you know your relationship is strong enough that something as stupid as spending a few days apart isn’t going to ruin it.  You’re in a stable, healthy, comfortable, and comforting relationship.  

The fact is, if Harry and Louis have been together for four solid years and they still grow miserable and insecure when the other isn’t around, I’d be very, very concerned because that does not indicate a healthy relationship. The fact that Harry and Louis are still able to enjoy themselves when not in one another’s company and yet still return to each other with the excitement and fondness for one another that they have is incredible, and it indicates that their relationship is in a  good place, considering the stress of the closeting, the publicity, and the propaganda they face every day.  We cannot underestimate the phenomenon that this relationship is, because they’re pretty much up against the world, but they’ve still been happily together for over four years.  

Even if they were having any obvious problems (which, from what I can see, they’re not), I wouldn’t be worried, because obviously every couple has ups and downs.  They are not immune to that, and if they have had arguments or rough patches in the past, that's fine, because that's normal, and it wouldn’t ruin they’re entire relationship.

There are also a lot of possible explanations for the causes of your doubts. We cannot assume either of them are unhappy at the moment on the basis of a few candids, and even if it was agreed that Harry looked “miserable” and Louis looked “happy,” theres absolutely nothing to suggest that it’s because of each other - they are not the only people in one another’s lives. We also can’t assume that they’re in their respective locations by their own choices.  For all we know, syco might have wanted Louis in the UK for PR, and Harry in LA for business and/or production (*cough* Azoff).  I personally don’t see any basis for concern at all in the current situation.

Doubt happens to every shipper, regardless of how whipped we are for these boys; that’s human nature, we are SUPPOSED to be skeptical.  The thing is, modest and the general homophobic/delusional population have been so bloody incessant about inducing doubt in larry shippers that it’s inevitable we’re going to be affected by that.  H and L could come out and get married and there would still be people thinking it was a big conspiracy.  My advice to you is to consider the matter as whole and look at it with consideration to all aspects.  Also, remember that we only see a fraction of what actually goes on between the two of them - and from what we have seen, the boys should be in a pretty good place. 

-Lily xx