About the "Common Excuses for Not Moving". I've moved far. It can be done but isn't easy/cheap. You have travel, food, etc $. You spend hours-weeks finding housing, packing/unpacking. You lose members of your community that help you. I hate focusing on the negative b/c I'm really glad I did it. I now know I can leave if I have to, and how. But I also hate how easy ignorant assholes make it sound. Especially since there's no guarantee you'll be better off. And spouse/kids makes it much harder.
seriously. the attitude of “just uproot your entire life and move someplace cheaper!” is rooted in such ignorance over what moving actually entails.
The thing with Shaladins is that most of them dont see anything wrong with the age gap bec they have family members, friends or are themselves in healthy age gap relationships. These are not people who have been "brainwashed" by society to think that age gaps are ok. It is unfair to judge a whole group of people who have seen and experienced real life examples of healthy age gap relationships. (Cont... 1/3)
(Cont… 2/3) It is hurtful to automatically judge their experiences as inherently wrong just by the simple criteria of an age gap. Its like ur telling them that their life, their experiences, their upbringing is inherently wrong just bec for them age gaps are ok. That is the very basis of intolerance. I know its easy to get caught up on our anger and sometimes its easier to villainize a whole bunch of people but really that just makes things worse.
(Cont… 3/3) I’m not defending Shaladins as I know some age gap relationships dont end well as I also know that having a relationship with someone who is close to ur age is not a guarantee for a healthy relationship but I hope u see that theres always 2 sides to a story.
oh boy there’s just so much going on here idk where to start
so my mom and step-dad have an 11-year age gap between them, and they have a generally healthy relationship. but i’m not a sha/adin, because it’s possible to unlearn harmful behaviors and those harmful behaviors don’t get a free pass just because you have a personal anecdote on how it’s “not so bad”
also an age-gap relationship between people in their 40s-50s is so vastly different from a relationship between a literal minor and someone in their mid-20s (or, if we wanna go the she!th route, a young adult who literally just became “legal” and someone in their mid-20s)
if you can’t differentiate between the two dynamics, that’s your problem.
i was raised in a household situation where the r-slur was normalized and thrown around constantly. i saw it being used positively and in a way that it didn’t hurt another person. but hey! guess what? i learned that the slur is a slur and it has real, lasting affects on other people. i learned that i shouldn’t use the term, and i stopped using it. and i get onto my mom when she uses it.
because harmful behaviors can be unlearned, and just because you were raised in an environment where it was acceptable, doesn’t mean that it is.
no one is saying that their life or experiences are wrong. we’re saying that their current, present attitudes are harmful, and we’re saying that they should unlearn their harmful behaviors. just like you can unlearn racist/ableist/homophobic behaviors, you can unlearn the idea that minor/adult relationships are in any way and under any circumstance acceptable.
and you are defending sha/adins. you are excusing their present behavior by saying “there’s two sides to every story”
you know who says that exact thing? my mom, when she’s trying to defend racism and homophobia. she says there’s two sides to a story in order to excuse the actions that someone committed, even if they were heinous and disgusting
(she said there are two sides to a story when mike brown was shot. just to give you perspective)
just because someone has different experiences, doesn’t mean that their behaviors aren’t harmful or toxic. it doesn’t mean that they’re not hurting other people. if i’m doing something that’s harmful to another person, then i damn well want it to be brought to my attention so i can address it and unlearn my harmful behavior
i don’t want to be coddled and said that it’s somehow okay, because my past experiences led to who i am today
it’s a learning process, and if you’re unwilling to learn, then i’m not going to coddle you.
theres never gonna be a point in time where I need to, but I can easily and I mean like within 30 minutes write a 5 page minimum paper on day6 or any celebrity or interest that I thoroughly enjoy EASY…… I can do that with a 200% guarantee because I can just write and write and write. which is why I always thought that I enjoyed writing but the thing is I don’t, especially not when it comes into the context of school subjects. I can still do it but I never truly enjoy it……. whenever there is a grade associated with anything I lose every single ounce of interest I have because everything in university has to be supported. you have to find references, you gotta read, you can’t just WRITE from the heart because thats “not enough”. I hate university so much lmao n I have never enjoyed a single class I’ve ever taken.
Fic: There's No Guarantee (That This Will Be Easy) [1D, OT5]
Title: There’s No Guarantee (That This Will Be Easy)
One Direction | OT5, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Gen | 60k-ish words
Zayn studies him for a long moment. Louis hopes he hasn’t guessed wrong, because he’s actually starting to like Zayn and now Zayn thinks he’s a nutter, probably. “Yeah.” It’s barely more than a whisper. “We’re having the same dream.” Or, Zayn and Louis are married, Liam is doing his best, Harry maintains some semblance of being okay, and Niall is what brings them all together. Or, five boys all have the same dream.
I don't believe you and earthenspirit are friends lol. There's no way. Guarantee its all for publicity. And don't think for a second any of us actually believe you two dress like that everyday.
Ahhh what a cruel fate it must be to live life with such skepticism…I try not to make a habit of appeasing too many nasty smelly trolls, but I wouldn’t want to cause you to loose sleep worrying over the state of my wardrobe so I had a friend take a picture of me this morning at school.
Ah yes. You may rest easy now.
But, regarding my friendship with earthenspirit, you have cracked the code. You discovered our master plan of tumblr domination. Because there is absolutely no way two people with similar passions, interests, world views, and religious beliefs would ever want to talk to each other for any reason other than to ensure that our faces be plastered over every single dashboard on this cursed website. We could have had it all but you just had to go and find us out. Yes. Logic.
the more that I think about it the more I think in the finale it’s going to reveal that adrien has known/suspected who ladybug was since evillustrator.
think about it: the random airing order prevents an arc where we see him (or marinette) slowly figure it out, so it has to be contained in one episode (and iirc papapillion said the finale/last 2 eps will air last in every country). and i absolutely think we’ll get the reveal at the end bc THATS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW!!! and there’s no guarantee of a season 2 (and it’d be easy to continue the plot past the reveal anyway)
and it makes more sense to make a big deal/episode plot out of marinette’s realization - “oh, she’s the girl from my classes” vs “OH HE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”
so at the end he’s going to reveal he’s known/suspected all along and kept quiet out of respect for her privacy/not wanting to be wrong
not to mention he does not buy her “SECRET MISSION, WHICH IS TOO SECRET TO MENTION” excuse for a second