there's a special place for me in hell!

My fav thing with the garrus romance is how he says like “i dont have a human fetish”

Because that says 2 things:

1: he’s having sex (and an eventual relationship) with Shepard NOT because shes human, but because he respects her in the HIGHEST regard. Shepard is his superior. He’s very neutral with his opinions, and regardless of what he feels in a situation, if what Shepard is doing she believes is the right thing, he’ll stay by her. When she joins CERBERUS, a group that makes most of your companions upset with and makes kaidan/ash LEAVE for the whole game and doubt if you’re “you”, he straight up says “even if cerberus is shitty, if YOURE working with them, you have a good reason for it and i trust you.” Hell, even in a place where theres PLAUGE THAT COULD KILL HIM, he still says “but if you need me, ill go”. He gets cheesy when you romance him. He plays music and buys wine. He tries so hard to make this “special” between two brothers in arms, facing a suicide mission where they might not make it out alive. He wants to let Shepard have one night of calm in an oncoming storm of death, one night between friends that turns into a loving, trust built relationship.

2: theres an actual human fetish.

The Signs as Welcome to Nightvale Proverbs (Part 1)
  • Aries: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the other dog in the fight.
  • Taurus: Ignore all the haters telling you that everything isn't a sandwich. Everything is a sandwich.
  • Gemini: Does the carpet match the drapes? No, it doesn’t. You’re the worst interior decorator. Please leave my home.
  • Cancer: Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say your mother's in the hospital. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Listen. I'll drive you over there. We'll leave right now. Grab a coat; it's a little cold out. I'm so sorry.
  • Leo: There's a special place in Hell. It's really hip. Very exclusive.
  • Virgo: Remember that all sentences must have a noun, a verb, and the phrase "foolish mortals".
  • Libra: Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone is screaming about.
  • Scorpio: I let my haters be my motivators. Mostly they tell me I suck, and then I get sad. This was a terrible idea.
  • Sagittarius: If you love someone, set them free. Set them free now. This is the police, and we have you surrounded.
  • Capricorn: At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire.
  • Aquarius: A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A basilisk.
  • Pisces: Please move your brain so we can get to the drugs. And stop leaving it there. We've talked about this.
Happy birthday
  • Yuu: I wonder if Mika remembers today is all of our familys' "birthday". I remember telling him that day after they were all asleep. Even though something so horrible happened after it...should I tell him?
  • Mika: *walks into Yuu's room* tell who what, Yuu-Chan
  • Yuu: well it seems this is unavoidable.
  • Mika: .-. ?
  • Yuu: Today is Akane's birthday.
  • Mika: ...
  • Yuu: is all of our family's birthday.
  • Mika: I remember, Yuu.. I've been thinking about that day a lot. I was scared to bring it up with you.
  • Yuu: damn it. It hurts so much to say. Shouldn't we do something for them?
  • Mika: Well, it was the curry they were eating that day right?
  • Yuu: yeah..
  • Mika: well maybe we could- wait! I have an idea!
  • Yuu: what do you have in mind?
  • Mika: cake! A birthday cake!
  • Yuu: all of them...they would love that wouldn't they?
  • Mika: mm, c'mon!
  • *Mika pulls Yuu by sleeve and they enter kitchen*
  • Mika: Chocolate cake! Let's make it!
  • Shinoa: *peeks in through kitchen smirking*
  • Mitsuba: *whispers* why are you smiling?
  • Shinoa: oh nothing!
  • Mitsuba: *looks into kitchen after Shinoa leaves* if they're doing what I think they are...there's no way they could know!
  • *********
  • Yoichi: *passes kitchen* *murmurs* that smells really good...there's no way that could be for what I'm thinking..
  • **********
  • Kimizuki: *looks at candles being placed in frosted cake from afar* What the hell!? How the hell would they know that!? Idiots... *blushes*
  • **********
  • Narumi: *Stares at Mika and Yuu looking down at a cake newly frosted with lighter in hand* This is just...weird!there's no way in hell they know!
  • *********
  • Mika: We should call the others out and explain right? It's best to do it all together with....with..
  • Yuu: you want to say family. Why are you always so reluctant? But yeah, let me call them. *walks to kitchen door* Everyone get your asses in here!! *sits back down at table* I think that was efficient enough.
  • *mysterious deep rumbling sound comes from all places of the house until suddenly everyone barges in*
  • Yuu: Everyone sit down! *waits until they follow command* You can all tell we've been doing something special today! Because today is a special day!! *mellows down and becomes more serious* We are celebrating a birthday.
  • Everyone else: *i knew it!*
  • Yuu: Mika and I, we will never forget our family-
  • *large sniffling noise occurs from across the table*
  • *Everyone looks up to see Yoichi wiping his eyes and trying to keep in snot*
  • Yoichi: h-how did you know!? You didn't have to do this! You- you r- really d- didn't! *continues to cry*
  • Mitsuba and Kimizuki: Eh!?
  • Mitsuba: what do you mean!?
  • Kimizuki: I'm just wondering why the hell these two pains would do anything for me!! *blushes dramatically*
  • Shinoa: *stands up* you're all wrong. It's my birthday.
  • Narumi: it's my birthday!! I'm your senior so acknowledge me all of you liars!!
  • Unison: it's my birthday!!!!!
  • *everyone begins to argue who's birthday it is besides for Yoichi who now cries in a corner.*
  • Mika: *drops lighter* I'm leaving.
  • Yuu: Mi-Mika please this has to be a misunderstanding.
  • Mika: *gestures to everyone arguing uncontrollably*
  • Yuu: yeah this is pretty bad.. *walks to table and picks up cake* let's go. This is too much on me mentally.

i think i was a weaboo for ironic purposes at one point but i have long since passed that and now im just a full fledged fucking weaboo piece of shit AND homestuck trash on top of that. theres a special place in hell reserved for people like me and i plan to take my place there by descending alongside a cloud of mist and glitter