there's a reason i have this shit tattooed on my leg

SENTENCE MEME

(BASED ON THINGS MY SIBLINGS HAVE SAID)

(EDITED: I added more shit because they’re idiots)

I’m just going to dissolve into a corner now.

“Theres room for me! I can fit one butt cheek.”

“LIPSTICK IS FOR BOYS.”

“I’m going to disassemble her body and put the pieces back in the box.”

“Okay you do that, Hannibal.”

“I’m going to rename you Craig.” 

“My imaginary friend ax murdered her family.”

“I’ll try not to stab myself on accident.”

“We should build a village for short people.”

“This is a visual representation of my soul.”

“My spirit animal is a turtle on a skateboard.”

“This place looks like something you’d see on Supernatural.“

“We’re going to eat our food and get murdered by demons.”

“My backpack is my locker now.”

“Have you seen Satan?”

“Can I have a jar of pickles for my birthday?”

“I never thought I’d get burned by a pickle.”

“Can I borrow your phone so I can instagram this?”

“You’re just going to make me punch myself in the face!”

“It smells like stale biscuits in here.”

“Touch my stuff and you go to jail. Giant waffle jail.”

“I picked up my skateboard and was ready to fight.”

“I don’t want to see Harry Styles pregnant with Louis’ baby.”

“We read fanfiction, nothing can scare us.”

“Are you really going to duct tape me to a wall?”

“The fried food killed me.”

“PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON. ITS NOT THAT KIND OF PARTY.”

“Homecoming? More like ‘time to get drunk’.”

“I really would sell you to Satan for one corn chip, though.”

“T-mobile? More like T-maybe.”

“I’ll put this fake tattoo on my butt, just watch me.”

“Can we get a hamster that crawls up people’s legs?”

“I never call anyone by their actual names.”

“Forget the North Star, if you’re ever lost, just head towards IHop.“

“That was a very pointless story, thanks for telling it to me.”

“You’re not a scaredy cat, YOU’RE A WUSSY.”

“ONE PERSON IS NOT A PARTY.”

“ITS A PARTY IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN YOUR HEAD.”

“You’re not cute, you look like a chicken wing.”

“She/He put SOY SAUCE IN MY DRINK. I MUST HAVE REVENGE.”

“Every time you talk we look at you like you’re an idiot.”

“I’m going to duck tape your hands and feet together.”

“Excuse me while I genderbend.”

“You’re so horrible that you make the rest of us seem like saints.”

“IS HE DEAD? I THINK HE’S DEAD. No wait its okay, he’s alive. False alarm.”

“Why do you keep calling her/him your friend? She/He hates you.”

“WHY DID YOU GLUE MY EYEBROWS?”

“I’m not normal, I’m evil.”

“I can’t do backwards pushups, I can’t bend like that.”

“I’ve seen some really sketchy stuff in my life.”

“I used a ouiji once, Satan told me when I was going to break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“Are you combing your eyebrows with a razor?”

“I will kill you and hide your body in the river.”

“Hashtag reasons why people hate you.”

“Hashtag you’re ugly.”

“I THINK I SAW NAKED PEOPLE.”

“You weren’t born with a butt.”

“Its now illegal to breathe, I’m sorry but now you have to die.”

“I punched the carpet and got stuck.”

anonymous asked:

I need a legitimate reason not to kill myself tonight. I really just don't want to hear "it gets better" because sometimes it doesn't. I need help.

because I have too many concerts I want to see. -Nick

because I have people out there who love me. -Jori

because I have exciting goals I want to achieve. -Salem

because of the feeling of holding someones hand. -Jamie

because I want to see equality for everyone. -Dylan

because my nephew looks up to me and I do not want to let him down. -Aaron

because One day, I’m gonna go on a date with Nick, and he’s gonna sweep me off my feet to live happily ever after. -Julisa

because I want to recover and be okay. -Meagan

because I’ve fallen in love and been given reason to stay alive. I want to be around to make him happy for years and years and years to come. -Erika

because life is nothing more than an opportunity to be happy, and I want to take advantage of that. -Jacob

because I have friends who deserve to be helped and they have no one so im there. -Taryn

because I know that one day everything will get better. - Jade

because there are too many suffering people I want to help. -Madi

because theres so much I need to do.  -Lexi

because I want to follow my dreams and travel the world. -Paige

because I have too many mountains left to climb. -Ali

because other people want me to. Eff them. -Rémy

because I just bought Con passes and all of this work isn’t going to waste. -T’Keyah

because I can’t see my mum cry over my self harm. -Anon 

because one day I am going to help someone overcome what I am going through now. -Alexandra

because I am stronger than my past. -Allana

because I’ve learned that people do care. -Anon

because I want to open my bakery and make everyone who bullied me realize they couldn’t kill my dreams. -Ashley

because I can’t hurt my family and friends. -Sydney

because my boyfriend believes in me. -Molly

because there are so many places to see in this world. -Emily

because I refuse to hurt my family and friends anymore than already have. -Kathy

because I want to be super smart and change the world. -Anon

because my boyfriend is also dealing with self harm and an eating disorder and I can’t let him down. -Samantha<3

because one day, years from now,  I’ll probably be walking the streets of some city at night around the corner of my favorite pizza shop, waiting for my girlfriend, smoking a cigarette, calm and happy because I’m on my own and things are so much better than when they were years ago, and i’ll be so proud of myself that I’ve let myself live long enough to get here. Or maybe none of that will happen; I’ll just have to wait and see.  -Anon

because I’m almost 32 weeks clean and I’ve worked too hard to get here to just let it all go down the drain. -Anon

because I don’t want my younger brother to grow up alone and without his big sister <3 - Katie

because I still have hope that things will get better. I still believe that one day I will be happy, I will beat self harm and depression and I will love myself. - Anon

because I don’t want to keep disappointing the one person that truly cares about me. I love him too much. - Anon

because there are way too many places I haven’t seen -Katie

because there’s so much off the world I haven’t seen. There’s a lot I can do to help people. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Anon

because I want to move to New York one day. -Maureen

because I don’t want to hurt people around me. -Anon

because I’m not the only one hurting.- Liberty

because of all of you.-Elizabeth

because if I do so does the guy I love on the other side of the world and I couldn’t bear knowing he’s not alive because of me. -Anon 

because I have finally found the person that’s there when I break down and he’s pretty much my rock. I don’t want to throw that away when he can help me cooperate with my problems… -Anon

because I still have a chance to beat this and win this war. -Anon

because if I do it will hurt others. -Nathan

because I want to marry my boyfriend one day. -Juno

because I want to always be there for my little sister. -Hannah

because I want to meet Demi Lovato one day and tell her how she helped save me -Hannah

because my wee cousin loves me and misses me too much and it’d be too much to just give up and leave her. -Anon

because I know that i can get better - Brielle

because I want to be able to tour the world as a guitarist in a band - Brie

because I don’t want to let my anybody down. -

because I won’t give up because there are too many video games out there for me to adore.- Kathryn

because I want to love people fully instead of hesitantly, fearfully- Emily

because my children need me. -Victoria

because I am in love and I won’t leave him. - 

because I have a life worth living. -Courtney

because I wont give up because no matter how alone and worthless i feel in the moment, i still have hope that one day i will meet someone that will change everything. change the way i see myself, change the way i see others, and change my perspective on life. i wont give up because i want to know what it feels like to be in love and to wake up everyday and be happy that i woke up, especially next to the one i love. -Anon

because one day, I’m going to have a classroom full of preschoolers who don’t need to see the pain in their teacher’s eyes when they ask her what happened to her arms and legs. They need to see the pride when she tells them she won. -Jesika

because my friends have put so much time and effort into trying to help me. And I can’t leave them to fight this cruel world alone. I promised to always be there for them and I can’t break that promise -Sam

because the world is my oyster, and I want to take advantage of that. -Ellen

because a) I don’t think they’ll give me pancakes in the afterlife and that is some tasty shit and b) I have band members to meet and tattoos to stress out over paying for! -Hannah

because my best friend needs me more than I need death.- Christi

because the people i love need me ~Kerri

because I want to get to Holland in 2015 ~Kerri

because my favourite bands and future favourite bands could be making a song I’ll love so much right now.~Jayd

because I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love due to suicide and I don’t want to do that to anyone else ~ Pauline

because my boyfriend just became my fiancé and i want to stay here with him. ~ Anon

because there’s so much I need to see. -Eryn

because I don’t want my younger siblings to think suicide is an option. -Elissa

because my nieces and nephews (ranging from 6 months to 12 years) think that I’m the “happy aunt” and I could never have them wonder why I decided to leave them. I could /never/ do that to them. -Anon

because my sister wouldn’t remember me if i died now. -Anon

because if my heroes could do it, so can I. -Anon

because I can teach a thousand kids music and I won’t give up without a fight until I can make that dream come true. I won’t give up because I want to preform a concerto on stage. I won’t give up because of my music. <3 -Anon

because there’s too much that I want to do in my life. I want to become a writer, sing in a band, become an inspiration for everyone, especially anyone who is depressed and suicidal. I want to change something here on this planet. Change it for the better. I won’t give up because my friends need me. I’m told that ever since being with me, it’s the first time my boyfriend has really been happy in a long time. I’m just starting to get better. Why quit now? -Anon

because there are lots of dogs that I can adopt some time. -Anon

because I’ve survived this much, and my experience and insight makes me unique. I can choose to end it all now or I can choose to go on and make the best of it. I choose life. -Anon

because sometimes, it does. 

-Jori 

anonymous asked:

Single dad Liam, on train home with his kid and Zayn asks can he sit in the chairs facing them because there's no other seats.. flirting ensues and so does cooing at the adorable toddler of Liam's (you can pick the gender of the child)

I made this christmasy cause duh 

***

Liam thought the train home for Christmas was a good way of beating the holiday traffic. Of course, he didn’t take in to account that a lot of other people might have had the same idea. Turns out taking a toddler, a pushchair and two suitcases on a packed train, is actually hard work. 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to fold the pushchair up so it doesn’t block the aisle.” The train conductor tells him, as he’s glared at the passengers on the platform, still attempting to find space to get on the train. 

Liam looks at Rudy sleeping peacefully in her pushchair, a mountain of teddies surrounding her because her daddy is a total pushover. 

“Mate,” A guy says, pulling Liam’s attention behind him. He’s an older gentleman, the highlights of grey in his beard putting him in age rage of Liam’s own father’s age. Therefore reminding him of the man who had told him that catching the train from London on Christmas eve was a daft idea. “Take my seat.” 

“I couldn’t.” Liam tries but the older man is already trying to squeeze past the pushchair to join the crowd of standing passengers. 

Rudy snuffles as Liam unstraps her from her pushchair and she clings to him, making it almost impossible for him to set her down so he can fold it up. It’s his luck that everyone seems to be in the Christmas spirit, as a young couple offer a helping hand. He says thank you one too many times and allows them to coo over Rudy, who had now resumed sleeping with her face shoved as far as she could get in her father’s neck. 

He finally settles in the vacant seat, shooting a thankful smile in the direction of the gentleman who had offered it, who only winks in return before returning to his newspaper that is now pissing off more than a few people surrounding him. 

“A few hours and we’ll be home, Dee.” He tells the unconscious toddler. 

He watches out the window as the city turns in to green land and soon enough he’s joining his daughter in snoozeville. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been out but it’s the beautiful sound of his daughter’s laughter that brings him back around. It’s his favourite sound so it automatically brings a smile to his lips but it instantly drops when he doesn’t feel the weight of her in his lap. 

His heart doesn’t settle until he see’s she’s managed to drop herself down between his legs. She’s got one tiny hand curled around his thigh but the rest of her body is leaning away from him and towards the person in the opposite chair. 

It might be bad that as a parent, he’s thankful for the choice of person his child had decided to communicate with. The man sat opposite him can only be described as a God in form of beauty. 

Rudy’s got some kind of pink sparkly wand in her hand that Liam is sure doesn’t belong to her. She’s tapping the strangers arm with it and making a little ‘bop’ noise as it comes in contact with the ridiculous collection of tattoos that covers this bloke’s skin. 

“Sorry.” 

Liam quickly looks up to see the stranger had now noticed he was awake. 

“She spotted it in my bag,” The guy explains. “I got it for me sister but apparently she’s not in to this cr–stuff anymore.” 

Liam nods, not quite ready to trust his voice in the presence of someone he finds himself so attracted to. 

“My name might make this less creepy,” The guy suggests. “It’s Zayn.” 

“Liam,” Liam introduces, glad that his voice holds out. “And this ball of sunshine is Rudy.” 

Rudy tilts her head back and shoots him a tooth-less smile whist almost hitting him in the face with the sparkly wand in her hand. Liam makes a face at her as it bops him on the nose and his favourite sound in the universe, fills the carriage once again. 

“Rudy,” Zayn tries out. “That’s unusual.” 

Liam brushes his fingers through Rudy’s tuft of soft blonde curls and hums his agreement. 

“Is it short for anything?” Zayn wonders. 

“Nope.” Liam replies, short and sweet. 

Zayn lips tilt up in to a grin and Liam might be a goner already because that expression on such a pretty face, it’s got to be deadly. “Are you sure?” 

“Rudolph.” Liam tells him begrudgingly. 

Zayn snorts and covers his mouth quickly. “You’re not serious.” 

“It’s the entire reason I’m a single man,” Liam explains and covers his child’s ears. “I love her for what she’s given me but the woman is bat shit.” 

Zayn sniggers in to his hand before taking it away and biting down hard on his lip. 

“She was born on Christmas day,” Liam explains because his daughter may have a few bonuses, other than being her beautiful self and that might be attracting the attention of equally beautiful people. “She thought we needed to keep in theme with the time of year.” 

“She’s a child not a dog.” Zayn argues. 

Liam holds a hand out to him for a high five that he obliges with the same grin that has Liam’s heart racing. 

They chat from there (some interruptions with demand for attention from Rudy now and again) and a train ride that normally feels like it takes forever, suddenly feels like it’s not long enough. 

Zayn doesn’t ask for the wand back when the train finally reaches Manchester station. In fact, he keeps playing with Rudy, even as Liam straps her in to the pushchair that he’d helped unfold. 

He doesn’t offer to help Liam with his suitcases, he simply takes the handle of one and leads the way off the train, like it contained half of his clothes and wasn’t full of the fifty different outfits Liam’s ex had demanded he’d take for Rudy. 

“Call me?” Zayn suggests as he tucks a piece of paper in to Liam’s pocket. “Maybe you could get a babysitter sometime or we could catch a movie and order pizza when she’s in bed?” 

“Her mum has her Sunday through to Wednesday.” Liam replies. 

“You busy New Years day?” Zayn asks as he looks around the station, like he’s expecting someone to pop out and scare him. 

“Nothing other than dropping her back at her Mum’s.” Liam explains. 

Zayn puts all his attention back on Liam and that grin is back. “Save me your first kiss of the New Year, yeah?” 

“Sorry, I’ve already promised to a cutie with only one tooth.” Liam says with a shrug and his own goofy smile, when Zayn lets out a laugh that might come in to close second on his favourite sounds. 

“Well then save me the second?” Zayn requests. 

Liam nods and he spots his mother and father, standing like goofballs behind the barrier in the departure lounge, with a sign that says ‘Santa and Mrs Clause awaiting Rudolph and Grumpy Elf’. 

“They yours?” Zayn wonders. 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Might be a little too soon to meet the parents,” Zayn decides but he shoots them a wave anyway, making Liam laugh when both of his parents shoot a confused one back. “I’ll keep you to that promise, Liam.” 

“I hope you do.” Liam tells him, proud of the confidence in his voice. 

Zayn shoots him a wink and then bends down to Rudy in her pushchair. “Make sure you take care of that wand for me, okay sweetie?” 

“Bop.” Rudy tells him and taps him on the nose with it. 

Zayn leans in and bops her on her own nose, earning himself a giggle. “Two cuties for the price of one, it really is a Christmas gift.” 

Liam gets one more wink and then Zayn saunters away, disappearing in to the crowd until he’s nothing but a name and a number on a napkin, burning a whole in Liam’s jacket pocket. 

“You ready to face the madness, baby girl?” He asks his daughter. 

“Bop.” Rudy replies, waving her new wand at nothing in particular. 

“Exactly.” He agrees and takes a deep breath as he waves his parents over, knowing he’s going to need the thought of kissing that grin from Zayn’s lips, to get him through the madness that is Christmas with his family.