there's a lot more i could do

[ image description: A screen shot of a post that reads “Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you.” Someone has crossed this out with a big grey X and underneath added “No, do it. Do cross oceans for people. Love people, all people. No conditions attached, no wondering whether or not they’re worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn’t about what you gain, it’s about what you give.” End of descripton ]

I hate this post, I hate it so much. And let me tell you why.

At first it seems like a pretty good post, right? You should love people and do things for them because you want to or because it’s nice, or just because you love them, not because you expect something in return. Yeah. We learn that as kids. But listen. Listen to me. It is not that simple. Yes you should do nice things for people. Carry in your grandmother’s grocerys even if she forgets to say thank you. Sure. But you should never, never, pour yourself into someone who does not give back to you.

Doing everything for someone who gives you nothing in return is not love.

A friend of mine worded it really well “The point of the original post was to emphasise that your own mental/physical health is more important than someone’s selfish needs.” It’s not romantic to run yourself into the ground for someone who can’t even be bothered to care about you. And not only is it not romantic, it’s unhealthy.

I have, on more than one occasion, “crossed oceans” for people who I do believe loved me, but who didn’t even come close to crossing them for me. And do you know what I got out of that? The first one I lost 10 pounds because I was so miserable I could barely eat and I was throwing up what I did eat. And I was still doing whatever I could to be with them, and make them happy, even though they didn’t seem to be willing to put any work in themself. Why bother, I was always there. The second one I ran my own mental health so thin that that literally could not do anything for him, all I could do is sit in the bathtub and think about how I coudln’t feel anything. But I still refused to turn my phone off and ignore his messages. I still made myself avaible to him because he “needed me.”

There was nothing romantic about either of those situations (note: only one was a romantic relationship but the idea of giving and giving and giving when you’re gettin nothing back is romanticized whether it’s in a romantic or platonic relationship.) There was nothing beautiful or selfless about it. It was miserable. I was miserable. I can remember one of my friends telling me he missed me because all I could talk about was the person I had allowed to become my whole life.

And in the end, both of them stopped talking to me.

Don’t believe anyone when they say the second part of that post. It’s bullshit and I’m really tired of seeing it romanticized. It tells people (especailly young girls) that this is an okay way for a relationship to be, that this is what they should be doing. 

There is nothing selfish about demanding that your emotional labour be reciprocated. That’s what makes a relationship (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) healthy. That’s what love is. Both people giving. Both people supportin each other. Not one person giving until they have nothing left for themself. 

“The strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.”

  • Dean: Well...last night on earth...what shall we do? ;)
  • Castiel: We should drink. A lot.
  • Dean: And?
  • Castiel: Then drink more
  • Dean: Yeah but, I mean there's other things that we could be doing
  • Castiel: Like....say goodbye??
  • Eileen: *To Sam* They're not going to try to stop it?
  • Sam: Yeah, yeah sure. It's okay they do this like once a year
  • Eileen: Okay...want to hang out in your room? :)
  • Sam: Yes! *Eileen and Sam run off*
  • Dean: I mean like, you wouldn't have to come with
  • Castiel: Well I'll go with you anyway
  • Dean: But you don't have to
  • Castiel: Well I'm going to, stop arguing with me!
  • Dean: Oh go play your stupid harp
  • Castiel: I DON'T HAVE A HARP!!
  • viktor: what are you getting otabek for valentine's day, yurio?
  • yurio: *pulls out a long list* well, i've had a lot of ideas. He seems to really like motorcycles and those glasses he wears when he rides them, so i'm considering getting him customized motor biking goggles. there's also his love of skating to consider, so i could paint motorcycles on his skates as a surprise? he might not like those though... i was also thinking of getting matching boyfriend shirts?? also i was considering getting him on a body pillow for myself on valentines d
  • brendon urie: allow me to exaggerate a memory or two, where summers lasted longer than, longer than we do
  • brendon urie: break involuntary ties, a secret so the spies could never find us out
  • brendon urie: fate will play us out with a song of pure romance
  • brendon urie: i'm not complaining that it's raining, i'm just saying that i like it a lot, more than you'd think if the sun would come out and sing with me
  • brendon urie: there's never air to breathe, there's never in-betweens, these nightmares always hang on past the dreams
  • brendon urie: there's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for
  • brendon urie: in love i've always been a mercenary but i never leave my post when the cash runs out. i want to make you quiver, make your backbone shiver
  • brendon urie: i'll take my chances with the devil tonight but i'm running out of time, if this is wrong i don't want to be right, let the fantasy die
  • brendon urie: you remind me of a few of my famous friends, well that all depends on what you qualify as friends
  • brendon urie: there's no residue of a torturer inside of your eyes
  • y'all: omg brendon is suuuuuuch a bad lyricist "im not as think as you drunk i am" lmaooo he SUX!!!!xD xD

Okay so here is a lyric-by-lyric interpretation of “Woman” and why I believe it is a gay song- aka has gay connotations. There’s a lot more details I could go into, but here’s the basics. Also, this is going to not be as Larry as I could make it. It’s just a general analysis, because I don’t think it is a gay song ONLY if it’s related to Larry. 

“I’m selfish, I know But I don’t ever want to see you with him”

It sounds more like he’s jealous of the guy than the woman. It’s Harry telling the woman- the beard- that yes, he’s being selfish, because he technically signed up for this (forcibly closeting in the industry happens and is enforced contractually with the YOUNG artists not thinking much about it while signing), but he still doesn’t want to see her with the other man because, well, he and the man are a thing.

“I’m selfish, I know, I told you but I know you never listen”

This is a line that specifically has to do with HIS closeting situation that I’m not sure you’d be interested in unless you believe he’s dating Louis Tomlinson but I’ll add the context anyway- one of Louis’ beards (the main one we believe the song is about) repeatedly kissed Louis in front of Harry and obviously Harry told her to stop or not to do PDA in front of him when they weren’t actually stunting but she did anyway (I told you but I know you never listen). Even then, if you don’t want to go into specifics, you could definitely interpret it as the woman crossing the line.

“I hope you can see the shape that I’m in, while he’s touching your skin”

Relating to the last line, Harry’s hopes the girl can see Harry’s reaction to her being with his partner. How angry he is, how jealous, and understand how he doesn’t approve or is so torn because he doesn’t want it to be this way. Basically, it could be read as him saying “I hope you can see how angry I am” or “I hope you can see how wrong this is” I see it as mostly the first with the latter being a part of it.

“He’s right where I should, where I should be”

This is a play on what the audience expects. most people read this as HARRY should be where the other man is with the woman, but it actually- in my interpretation- means that Harry should be where the woman is, with the man.

“But you’re making me bleed”

She’s hurting him, basically, because she’s there instead of Harry.

CHORUS

To me, seems so… impersonal for a love song, like a lot of people think it is. If this woman is the focus of his love, then why just “woman”??? I think it’s because it’s him saying “woman” as in either this one specific woman who is hurting him or all the women in each individual bearding situation. The lalalalas are kind of taunting (like the beards are to him sometimes, and we have heard a lot of rumors about how the beard I was talking about before taunted Harry constantly).

“Tempted you know, apologies are never gonna fix this”

I’m not 100% sure about the first line- I think it might be him saying he’s tempted to just say “fuck it” and end this, but he can’t. The second part is about how, no, her apologizing for this can’t fix it. this is something huge and hurtful that the woman signed up to be a part of for HER benefit that basically hurts them. You really can’t forgive someone who is helping forcibly closet you and your partner and is shown to the public to be THEIR girlfriend when they’re just…. not. That hurts. A lot.

“I’m empty I know, promises are broken like the stitches.”

The first part is pretty obvious, but the second part is interesting and I think a more personal line- maybe the woman promised not to cross the line, but they always cross the line. And remember the “you’re making me bleed” line? yeah, he’s hurt, he’s bleeding.

“I hope you can see, the shape I’ve been in while he’s touching your skin.”

This shows that it’s still going on, he’s still angry, this whole situation is still happening.

“This thing upon me howls like a beast. You flower, you feast.”

This references at the poem “Old Man, Dead in a Room” by Charles Bukowski which reads:

“but this thing upon me,

as I tear the window shades,

and walk caged rugs,

this thing upon me,

like a flower and a feast”

And then the Chorus again.

Basically “Woman” is a song that uses EXTREMELY clever wordplay to make it seem like it could be a love song from a man who wants to get together with his ex, but it is- in my interpretation and I believe it is a closer interpretation to the truth- about a man who is singing about the woman who is bearding for his partner.

One More Time (Peter Parker x Reader)

Anonymous asked: Hi I was hoping you could write something angsty where the reader is a SHIELD agent and they are assigned to work with the avengers but then they put her with Peter Parker/Spider-Man and theres awkwardness and beef between the two because they were once close childhood friends or something and they ended on bad terms (romantically and something bad happened to them) and they work things out and ending is fluffy. Sorry if this is a lot to work with, but if u do it it would really make my day.

A/N: ngl, I kinda stole an idea/plot point from tasm2 but y’all will see; it’s divided in 2 parts, 1st part in Peter’s POV and the 2nd in reader’s POV; italics indicate inner thoughts!! (also, Y/S/T means your skin tone, fyi) hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1260


Part One:

No. Fricking. Way. It can’t be her, right? Peter’s mind was racing as he watched the SHIELD agent standing at the front of the conference room. Her (Y/H/C) hair was long, tied back into a high ponytail. Her (Y/S/T) skin looked like it was…glowing. She had changed so much since the last time Peter saw her. If that’s her. Peter snapped out of his daze when Bucky called his name from behind.

Keep reading

2

We decided to do that [having friends as special guest on 1989 World Tour] because theres a song called ‘Style’ where the performance in the show is actually more of a runway, you have the dancers strutting down the runway. Like a lot of my friends are really great runway models and that’s their job. And they come out to the shows and I know my fans would love to see them… I wonder if we could have them walk it like a runway show. Cara did it, Martha Hunt did it, Gigi Hadid did it, this great actress from Law and Order Mariska Hargitay did it. And I just want to keep it up, I think it’s fun to have people pop up and make special guest appearances on the tour even if they’re not musicians.

Working On OC Backstories
  • Brain: OK, there's the summary of their personality, to be developed as they play, a few quirks, one of which is probably going to be a lot more important than anticipated...now, for the significant backstory death–
  • Me: Do we really need one of those?
  • Brain: What?
  • Me: We could...y'know, NOT have a significant death in the backstory. Lots of people don't have those.
  • Brain: I'm not sure I follow.
  • Me: What if this OC is just well adjusted and doesn't have anything depressing in their backstory?
  • Brain: Ah, so you're setting up for a FUTURE full of misfortune. Dark, but OK, you asked for it.
  • Me: Wait, NO–

minervq  asked:

it's 2am and i've read everything i can get my hands on abt EU, so can i just say 1) as a media student, this would make a FANTASTIC TV show. there are ten million plotlines staring me in the face and 2) how do you think the fae's fascination with theatre would translate to TV production? still has the costumes, the glitz and glamour, but there's a lot of tech in close proximity. (I can attest that some late nights/early mornings in the studios can get hazy and discombobulated, though...)

Oh god imagine this as a show, it could be so good if they got the wonderterror of the whole place right - there’s more in the shadows than what you can see, and that’s a double-edged sword.

I think it would absolutely fascinate them as well - objectively there’s not magic at all present, but at the same time, there’s entire new worlds being made. Like the theatre, the whole is something much, much greater than the sum of the parts.  Unlike theatre, the finished show is a thing almost unrecognizable from what’s originally been filmed - it’s been put into order, clipped and touched up and made into a very different creature than the initial scenes acted out. It also has a certain allure because they don’t know how it works, can’t get close enough to try to take it apart and figure out how (and even if they could, it’s still unlikely they would be able to understand).

4
“Some of us prefer the chase.”
“And never to be caught?”
“Oh, no, Miss. I’d like very much to be caught.”

- for @sabraeal

//Kiss Me (cover) Jason Walker//The Dress Looks Nice on You Sufjan Stevens//Warrior Beth Crowley//Beginners Slow Club//I Will Possess Your Heart Death Cab for Cutie//We Can Try Between the Trees//Patience Seabird//Chasing Pavements Adele//Wonder Lauren Aquilina//I Know I’m a Wolf Young Heretics//Budapest George Ezra//Take What I Can Get Matthew Mayfield//Closer Measure//Sinking Friendships Jonsi//Falling Slowly Glen Hansard//Give it All Right the Stars//What If You Joshua Radin//Can’t Help Falling in Love Ingrid Michaelson//Dream a Little Dream of Me Ella Fitzgerald//Heart Beat The New Electric Sound//Everlasting Light The Black Keys//Hot Knife Fiona Apple//Drumming Song (iTunes live) Florence + The Machine//Toxic (cover) Yael Naim//A Postcard to Henry Purcell (from Pride and Prejudice 2005) Dario Marianelli//Waltz Mother Falcon//Your Hand in Mine Explosions in the Sky//Bedroom Hymns Florence + The Machine//The End of Everything Measure//World Spins Madly On The Weepies//La Vie En Rose Louis Armstrong//You and I Ingrid Michaelson//Us Regina Spektor//Hengilas Jónsi//Amsterdam Coldplay//

I hesitated a lot about this and how to put what I wanted to say…

The most important thing is that he has people who care, are there and will stay until he gets better.

It’s hard when one doesn’t have the perspective or could I say is more “sensitive and understanding”? About those subjects. And some would say “get better soon” “smile” and things like that. I don’t want to sound rude or negative, just trying to help from my personal perspective too, these kind of comments often come off as a burden.
I have so much I want to say but it’s hard to put it in words.
First, if anyone reading this is going through a hard time, struggling, with mental health, know that you’re not alone. Yes, that cliche phrase, I know, but I mean it. You aren’t. You really aren’t alone in how you’re feeling, in what you’re going through.
It is okay to feel that way, to feel sad, to feel all of that so deep and intense… I know, it must be overwhelming, but it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You will.
Take your time, to feel, to understand, to heal. Allow yourself to heal. You deserve it. You are important and you deserve to get better.
Even a little spark in the dark, even a little step you make, it may seem like nothing? But it’s huge. It’s important. Always, always take your time. Don’t rush your healing. You are human, we aren’t perfect. But you deserve to keep living, to keep loving, being loved, cared.
The first step is always the hardest but you can do it. At your own time, always remember. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be okay.

I’m not a professional counselor or anything like that and I do struggle myself, I have anxiety and depression and yes, it’s not easy. But I sincerely wrote from my perspective and I mean it. I really hope all of you are okay.

I recommend the blog twloha to understand a bit more about this subject. It’s the only blog I read that I find helpful, informative and not triggering. (But this is a personal opinion). And if you’re struggling the best recommendation is to go to counseling or a doctor or talk with someone, anyone! I know it’s hard but you can do it! Take your time.

saviepavie  asked:

Hello. I love you blog and it's helped me loads with anxiety and depression. This is probably going to sound trivial to you, but recently I put myself out there with a guy I really thought I had a connection with, and he completely blew me off. I'm trying to not let it get t me, but it's very hard to not think there's a flaw in myself he saw and didn't like. That sounds selfish, but I was wondering if there was something I could do or think to not let things like this get me down?

I’m a guy so I can tell you: guys kind of suck. 

I don’t really mean that but at the same time, guys do NOT know what they are doing a lot of the time. As a male in western society, it is difficult to maintain a connection with your heart. Without that connection, part of you just isn’t sane.

If you are rejected by a guy, it is more likely that it has to do with him than you. 

In order for it to really have to do with you, the guy must be able to see beyond himself, his judgments, his perceptions, and his personal hangups. Such a person would be kind, even if they decided you two were not compatible romantically.

There are great guys out there but they tend not to be the ones who will come up to you and start hitting on you. Some are more shy or simply low key. 

Being able to discern when something legitimately is a reflection of you and when it is just another person’s personal hangups/judgments is an important thing for living sanely and peacefully in this world. It keeps out unnecessary conflicts and maintains a clarity of perception. 

You are not something that can be rejected. You are only something that can be misunderstood. Anyone who operates on the level of acceptance/rejection is still working stuff out within themselves. 

But here are some things you can do to recenter yourself:

  • Meditate. Just five minutes a day, start a daily meditation practice. It is a space you set aside to be within your being without using your mind as a way to be alive. It will free you from your own mental hangups. 
  • Get physical. I recommend yoga, as it can be very therapeutic, empowering, and restorative. It also brings you back to your body and within yourself. 
  • Read some inspiring stuff. The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron would be a great place to start. There is also a recommended reading list on the last page of my FAQ. 

This too shall pass and you’ll feel fine but if you put in some of this work, you will be in a much better position going forward. 

Namaste sis :)

“You think you can pull yourself away from that game for two minutes to enjoy your birthday, Aibou?”

I knew I would take all day with this, and I did lolol I’d love to write a companion piece to this maybe. Maybe I can add onto it tomorrow or something. There was actually more to this drawing but the lower half looked horrid and I didn’t want to spend forever fixing it cause of time restraint XD At first I thought that cupcake was too big. But then, no, it’s special cupcake for a special cupcake~ :3 I bet Atem spent time in private learning to bake for months JUST to make Yuugi something nice for his special day~ Tons of issues aside I do like this. I’m glad I at least managed one art thing today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUUGI!! :D

「    sometimes, i still find myself thinking about making a kudō yusaku blog, or even just a sideblog. then, i start to think about how refreshing it could be if there were more blogs with the adult characters in dcmk and how nice it could actually be ??    」

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Bill Condon really showed how incompetent he is as a director with the deleted scene release from Beauty and the Beast. Harriet and Hattie do not look like each other at all, and if he really did want to distinguish them further, he could have used different wigs, or have written in a hint that Hagatha/the Enchantress was really his mother teaching him a lesson from the afterlife. Instead, we got a total misuse of Harriet Jones, who left her job at Phantom on the West End to film the scene which was pared down to her dead in bed. Besides, having the scene where you see the Queen singing to the prince helps show the audience how much more connected he was to his mother and why losing her left such an impact on his life. Now, going back to the Harriet/Hattie lookalike situation, why didn't Condon notice this earlier? It wasn't as if he had no say into who he cast. Part of a director's job is casting, and if he wanted a certain actor in a certain part, he would have looked into other actors that had different looks for the other parts. There's also a lot of other awkward parts to this film but I digress, because that could go on all day. This film could have been done much more successfully by a director who actually knew what the fuck they were doing.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sentence starters
  • 1. "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so."
  • 2. "This must be a Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
  • 3. "Don't panic."
  • 4. "Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"
  • 5. "If there's anything more important than my ego around here, I want it caught and shot now."
  • 6. "We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
  • 7. "The answer to the Great Question... of life, the universe and everything... is... is... 42."
  • 8. "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
  • 9. "Did I do anything wrong today, or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?"
  • 10. "____! There's an infinite number of monkeys outside that want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out."
  • 11. "If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?"
  • 12. "Ah. This is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."
  • 13. "Life. Loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
  • 14. "Is there any tea on this spaceship?"
  • 15. "I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'll be all cross and I won't enjoy it!"
  • 16. "It's part of the shape of the universe. All I have to do is talk to someone and they begin to hate me."
  • 17. “Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.”
  • 18. "I know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good.”
  • 19. "You watch this door. It's about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates."
  • 20. “Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?”
  • 21. "I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle."
  • 22. "Hey, this is terrific! Someone down there is trying to kill us!"
  • 23. “The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”
  • 24. "It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level."
  • 25. "I could have more fun in cat litter."
  • 26. “If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you are in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner, please, don't hesitate to get lost.”
  • 27. "I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence."
  • 28. "You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
  • 29. "They've got about as much sex appeal as a road accident."
  • 30. "You're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
  • 31. “Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.”
  • 32. "Ow! My brains!"
  • 33. "If you just ignore me, I expect I shall probably go away."
  • 34. "It's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it's the fame and the money....”
  • 35. "The old me knew. The old me cared. Fine, so far so good. Except that the old me cared so much that he actually got inside his own brain--my own brain--and locked off the bits that knew and cared, because if I knew and cared I wouldn't be able to do it."
  • 36. "If you’ve never been through a matter transference beam before you’ve probably lost some salt and protein."
  • 37. "Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."