there was going to be a graphic but tumblr was being stupid

Here’s me throwing a little appreciation to everyone who makes my time on this website for dumdums worthwhile! I wanted to do something a little different instead of just listing all my favs, so i’ve written just a little blurb to thank you for making me so happy <3 I hope you all manage to find your tag lol this got a bit long (might have to do a cheeky command+f heh) compliments / blurbs under the cut!!

Keep reading

The Season Finale/Bye, Boys

I know I’m late - I had to work all day yesterday and today, and when I first got those jobs I’d anticipated I’d be frustrated about missing the finale live, but, well - after last week’s episode, I mostly wasn’t interested at all. When I sat down tonight to watch it, I almost didn’t want to. I was highkey convinced I wouldn’t like it, and, yeah, I didn’t. Not particularly. I’ve suspected for a while that Supernatural lost its grandeur and sense of tragedy years ago, and all that’s left is a bunch of occasionally magnificent, but mostly unconnected, monster hunts - that they’re grasping at straws to avoid going down paths that would actually make sense because they don’t want to go there - and this finale confirmed all that with the subtlety of a badly driven tank. 

(Really - I was hoping things would be different, but they’re not. As much as this show held my hand and made me laugh and cry in difficult moments and distracted me when real life was plain unbearable, the magic is no longer there. I watched the finale with that same awful weight in your stomach you feel when faced with that one person you no longer love - when you look and look and you don’t understand how you could ever love them in the first place, and then your eye catches something - they way their mouth curves into a smile, perhaps, or the once beloved lilt in their voice, and you realize that oh, that’s how

But still, it’s over.)

So, what happens next?

The honest answer is, I don’t know. I’ve been mostly off tumblr for a week, and while I missed chatting and talking with you guys, this self-imposed break really brought home just how my world has shrunk. I tend to be very intense in what I like, and over the last year, 90% of my free time has been Supernatural. Writing stories, writing metas, creating the odd graphic, reblogging other people’s posts and ooohing and aaaawing at their creations and insight - that was great, but it also cut my mental landscape into a tiny little postcard. And this past week - I did things. I discovered new stuff, I read real books, I faffed around weird Wikipedia pages, I lost myself in other series, I planted beans and basil and edible flowers. And I liked it - a lot. So whatever I do next, I’ll be on tumblr a lot less, because - I’m sorry - I’ve been fearing for a while that Supernatural simply wasn’t worth this level of devotion, and this finale pretty much confirmed that. So - really - I’ll keep reblogging gifs and I’ll probably write the occasional headcanon and feel free to ask me things and come talk to me and everything else, but please know that I’m not that positive about this show anymore, so if you want rainbows and ponies, my blog’s probably not the best place to get them. I’ll definitely keep writing, and I hope I’ve got enough love left in me to finish my DCBB, but other than that - I think I’m done. It’s likely I’ll watch the show next year, but I’ll certainly not anticipate new episodes and squeal at the screen and bleed my own blood all over it or anything. And maybe this will hurt at some point - God, I loved this show so goddamn much - but for now I’m just numb. 

So, here goes - quite possibly, my last meta. 


Cas: Yes, They Went There

This is what we’re all wondering, isn’t it? Is Cas really dead? 

No, he isn’t. If Misha was leaving the show, we’d know about it. Like, of course they’d keep it under wraps until the last episode, but it’d be out today - no reason it wouldn’t. Plus, from a narrative point of view, Cas’ death doesn’t make any sense. He just died after fucking up - again - and he never got to make his Big Choice between Heaven and *coughs* humanity, plus they’re having so much fun jerking us around with that yeah so maybe he and Dean they’re in love thing, why would they stop now? So, honestly, his ‘death’ was his only good moment during this season finale. Like, he obviously wasn’t brainwashed brainwashed, so it didn’t make any sense he wouldn’t involve Sam and Dean in his overly simplistic scheme, plus he’s been acting stupid and out of character the whole time he was on screen - and, I get Cas is hard to write, but come on. Renting a cabin under the name James Novak when he can hypnotize it out of some guy without leaving a paper trace? Reading books and taking online classes about childbirth? This from a guy who’s not a guy at all and has instinctive knowledge of physics and whatever and knows perfectly well that thing inside Kelly isn’t a human child, anyway, so he might as well take woodworking classes for all the good that would do him? Uh. Not to mention his random snooping into alternate dimensions he knew nothing about when he was supposed to be taking care of Kelly - if AU!Bobby had killed him, or if he’d fallen into a pit or whatever else, Kelly would have remained alone in that cabin basically waiting for Lucifer to find her. Honestly - why do they bother writing Cas at all if they can’t get him right?

Destiel: Still Subtext

And more bad news: five seasons of queerbaiting - and counting. This season finale had to be the one with the least amount of UST or pining or any kind of fuckery between them since, I don’t know, ever? Sure, there were moments, and I could list them, but why should I? Look at Cas doing his own thing, and what does it matter if he was staring at the water (possibly thinking about that fish which started everything, and by everything I mean Cas’ love for humanity, and by humanity I mean Dean), and what does it matter if Dean, as usual, is the one fretting about Cas and worrying about Cas and being all undignified and unmanly? It’s been years, and Dean was unusually chatty during the whole finale, so I’m sure some of us were like, ALERT ALERT THIS IS WHEN IT HAPPENS (not me, because I’m grumpy and disillusioned), and nope, not the time. Better luck next season, guys.

Honestly, at this point there are no good options. 

Keep reading

Preference: They Take Care of You Drunk.
a/n: Tumblr mobile is being stupid and won’t let me hold their names so I’m sorry that they are hard to find a certain character. Slight mentions of puking in this. nothing graphic at all but I wanted to pre-warn you. in Sodapop’s, Johnny’s, and Two-Bit’s.

Darry:

Darry and you would drink together. You both usually only go for a light buzz but sometimes one of you will drink a bit more without realizing. If he noticed you getting a bit more drunk he’d immediately stop drinking so he could take good care of you and bring you home. He’d put you into something to sleep in and get you into bed. The next day your hangover is usually only a headache so he’ll leave some pills and water beside the bed before he goes to work.

You stumbled into the house as your boyfriend Darry supported you. When he helped you out of the car you refused to be carried but he was practically dragging you as you both walked.

As Darry turned to shut the front door you tried to step on your own and stumbled a bit. He caught you and finally decided just to picked you up.

“Come on, lady, let’s get you to bed.” he murmured and carried you to the room you both shared.


Sodapop:

Sodapop didn’t drink but he wasn’t opposed to it so he never minded when you did. He would always make sure you got to where you needed to be safely. He liked to bring you to his house if you were drunk so he could take care of you the next day. He was very comforting when you had a hangover.

Your head was hanging over the toilet as you struggled to hold your hair back and hold yourself up at the same time. You were shaking a bit as you did so. A moment later you heard someone step into the room and you knew it was your boyfriend.

Sodapop immediately pulled a hair elastic of yours off of the sink and tied your hair back in a ponytail. It wasn’t good but it would do the job. He wet a washcloth with cool water and placed it on the back of your neck and gently rubbed your back.

“Go away..” you try fighting but he just shushed you gently.

“Don’t argue with me.” he stated and you honestly had no energy to although you wished he couldn’t see you like this. He didn’t seem to mind though and he would stay with you the whole time.


Ponyboy:

You weren’t a big drinker normally but if something bad happened in your life it was the first thing you would turn to and this would upset him a lot. He wished you would just come talk to him but he would never show his distaste for it until a couple of days later. He would be annoyed but still watch out for you when you were drunk and hungover because he knew if you were drinking you were already feeling upset about something and he wanted to make sure he was there whenever you were ready to talk.

“Ponyboy..” You whined trying to sit on your boyfriends lap. You were at a classmates party and you had been drinking all night. When you noticed your boyfriend had disappeared you stumbled around looking everywhere for him until you found him sitting on the front porch swing sipping a soda. You were sitting beside him and hanging on him trying to kiss him but he kept turning away.

“Why don’t we get you home, Y/N..” Ponyboy muttered.

“But home is not where the beer is..” You stated with a small laugh as you try to kiss him.

“Dammit, Y/N, will you stop that?” He snapped and shoved you off of him. He would regret it though when tears immediately started falling from your eyes. You had already been close to crying all night but this just did it for you.

“Fine..” You cried as you stood up to walk away from him. You decided just to walk yourself home and were halfway down the driveway, stumbling, as Ponyboy came up behind you. He would wrap his arms around your waist from behind to stop you.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “Let’s just.. let me take you home.”


Two-Bit:

Two-Bit loves drinking with you! He will always be up for a party with you and the next morning if you two are feeling crappy he’ll cuddle with you in bed and take you out for a late brunch.

You were laying in bed with your boyfriend Two-Bit as he held you in his arms. Your head was on his chest and you enjoyed the calming sound of his heart beat. After a moment the sun came out from behind the clouds and shone through the window right into your eyes. You immediately groaned and pressed your face into his neck.

“Do you want me to get you an aspirin?” he whispered and flinched a bit as his head ached.

“No..” you whined and clung closer to him. “Don’t get up.”

“But if I get up we can go get pancakes..” he murmured and you lifted your head slowly, a small smile on your face.

“Pancakes are good.”

Two-Bit laughed and pushed some hair out of your eyes. “Yea but only if you keep them down this time, pukey.”


Dally:

Dally and you drink together just about every night without a problem and he loves it. But every once and a while you get pretty black-out drunk and the next morning get the worst hangovers that usually end up lasting for like three days. He’ll mostly leave you alone when this happens because he knows you’ll be a bit cranky but he’ll always leave you everything you could possibly need on the nightstand for when you wake up.

Dally had just got you home and up to your bedroom, somehow without your parents waking up. You were passed out cold but he wanted to make sure you were taken care of. He would gently wake you and carefully get you into some pajamas while you were still half asleep. He would also help you put your hair up.

After he tucked you into bed he would put a glass of water and some pills next to your bed along with a small trash bin. Before he left you he would sit down beside you and you would look up at him through half open eyes.

You murmured something unintelligible to him and he would just shake his head and kiss you before walking out.


Steve: (small swearing)

Steve and you love going to parties and drinking together but you do have a tendency to be an angry drunk. It scared him at first but now he deals with it easily.

You were fighting to get out of Steve’s grasp as he pulled you outside of the house that you to were at. You had just gotten into a screaming match with some girl and when things started to get physical Steve pulled you away before you could get hurt.

“Let me go, Steve. That bitch deserves it!” you scream pushing at his chest trying to get away. He gently grab your wrists gently and brought his forehead to yours.

“Breath, Y/N..” He demanded calmly.

“Are you kidding me?Let me go dammit. What the-”

“Hey!” Steve stopped you. “I’m not letting go until you talk a couple deep breathes for me. Okay?”

You glared at him but did as he asked and soon your hands relaxed out of the fists they had been in though you were still shaking a bit in rage.

“Let’s go..” he murmured and wrapped his arm around your waist so that he could hold you to him and guide you away.

“You suck!” you snapped at him and he just shook his head fondly.

“I love you too, babe.”


Johnny:

Johnny enjoys drinking with you on occasion but the downside is that you are not the best drunk. You tend to cry a lot and just keep babbling on. Even if no ones listening, or you feel sick, or your half asleep. Johnny will take care of you though.

You were standing outside of Buck’s after you had to run outside to be sick. Johnny followed after you and though he himself was stumbling a bit he held your hair back for you.

“I’m an awful person..” You said, sniffling as tears fell steadily from your eyes.

“Hey now..” Johnny said rubbing your back gently.

“No.. Really,” you insisted. “I’m awful I’m.. I’m just you know not cute.. and sometimes. Sometimes I’m really mean to people. And I’m.. I’m not really good at anything and I..”

You were crying so hard and could barely get the word out as you kept trying to list things to Johnny. He would pull you into a tight hug. “That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about. Be nice.”

“Do you love me?” You cried as you cling to him.

“Yea, I love you..” he said. “Now let’s get back inside. It’s freezing out here.”

i can’t believe ??? i actually lasted this long ??? i’ve tried running this blog so many times in the past, and every time i end up chickening out because i worry that i’m not good enough, or that nobody wants to interact with a character that so few people actually KNOW about. can you BELIEVE i established this blog (on a different account) almost FIVE years ago ????  i was ridiculously shy, and this year i was finally able to break out of that and talk to people, and HOO BOY am i glad i did. i’ve met so many amazing people on here, and made so many new friends. 

while i know for a fact i can credit some of this to my beloved deltas and how much they’ve helped me grow this past year, there are many people here who also helped me and my blog grow into who it is/i am today. so thank you, so so SO much. i love you guys so much and i hope we continue to talk/interact in the future💙💙💙 i have a shit memory, so i might’ve forgotten some people, but know that i love you to pieces still !!!

this got so much longer than it was supposed to be i’m so sorry omf

Keep reading

hi wisteria , thanks for stopping by my blog ! this is for you.

so in light of everything ever that’s went down with tumblr user seduire / venuscrown / peachcrown / kitsinu otherwise known as WISTERIA , something really interesting has just come up. at their request and out of respect for this wonderful human being , i will not be providing any names or urls for the following screen caps and text and omitting certain details that imply their identity.

WISTERIA , i honestly thought i was going crazy. i thought it was stupid to think you’d be intentionally mimicking everything i do just for the spite of it all. guess i should follow my gut more often ! not only have you been intentionally creating the same blogs as me right after i make my own JUST TO GET A REACTION OUT OF ME , you’ve been forgoing your own original ideas JUST TO DO THIS ? there’s something wrong with you , sincerely. you’ve plagued my tumblr experience for half a year already. you’ve been a source of anxiety , paranoia , anger , and frustration. but turns out , i’m not the only one you’ve affected ! your actions and behaviors have been heavily manipulative and anxiety inducing in others , but i guess i’ve been claiming you’ve been a manipulative and toxic person all along. this just confirms it. you’re so obsessed with creating distress in my life by mimicking every thing i do and stealing from me and copying me that you’ve ended up making the people you know uncomfortable. you’ll barely talk about anything else with your friends but me , apparently. that’s ……….. yeah.

you preach on your blog about how ‘ no one deserves anon hate / negativity ‘ and then you proceed to intentionally do things that you know will get to me. i’m not active on ahri ? you have no reason to be then , so you’re not either. i make a peach ? suddenly you’ve made one too under peachcrown ! i make an aphrodite ? wow ! you’ve been thinking about making one ALL ALONG so you’re definitely not mimicking me when you create venuscrown immediately after me right ? you just spontaneously thought to ‘ finally ‘ make her right ? don’t make me laugh. you’ve literally word - for - word stolen my tags , you’ve stolen my graphics , you’ve plagiarised my head canons , you create the exact same muses as me right after i make them , you HAD ICONS COMMISSIONED TO BE SIMILAR TO MINE SPECIFICALLY , you’ve tried to use one of my pen names that you’ve known me as , YOU COMMISSIONED A PSD FROM VALORSLAINPSDS BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE MINE ? and worst of all you’ve manipulated people to actually think i’m the one in the wrong here ! you have a victim complex , you’re a manipulator , you’re toxic , and you’re spiteful. you’re a terrible person. you’ve driven me up the wall and i hope this post is a huge slap in the face for you.

a friend of yours , wisteria , has come forward about everything. that’s how bad you’ve become over all this time. and thank god for them. they did not deserve any of the manipulation or anxiety or feeling of alienation they felt because of you , nor did they deserve to be coupled with your name at any time.

you’re not allowed to act like you’ve done nothing wrong. you’re not allowed to deny anything anymore. sorry.

i sincerely hope this puts an end to everything.

LOTS OF SCREEN CAPS BELOW. ( discord screenshots at the very bottom have been edited only to fit the length of them in the post so they are readable ).

just a disclaimer that every single one of these screencaps is text from the mentioned friend.

please enjoy.

Keep reading

3

black

summary: four times it was just a kiss, and the one time it was more
pairing: gerald x reader (second person ofc)
rating: pg-13 (first chapter)
a/n: just as kind of a heads up, I know a lot of second person fic uses the ‘insert your name/eye color/preferences’ here thing and that’s cool but I can’t write that way. while the narration is still from the reader’s pov, I still have to write a character to draw from and that might be (understandably) confusing for some people at first. this makes it more fic than imagine but I still prefer writing second person.
read more: all my other g eazy fics here

chapter one: first

make my world go black,
hit me like a heart attack,
knock me flat on my back,
I don’t know how long that I can last

It’s 2010 and you have no idea who’s show you’re at. All you know is the venue is packed, body heat and smoke making it difficult to breathe. The room is like a hot box and even though the second hand high feels good, your lungs (and your brain) have hit their limit. You need some damn air.

Outside, the LA night is still warm but a relief from the crowd downstairs. Leaning back against the brick of the alley wall, you push your hair back out of your face and drag in a few lungfuls of oxygen. You like a good night out but this is just stressful. Maybe I should just book and see about that party in the Hills that MJ invited me to…

But you promised Rachelle you’d stay through his set…whoever this guy is she keeps raving about. G…Easy? Something white boy and unoriginal like that. With a sigh, you’re about to force yourself to head back in. But across the alley, a flame sparks to life in the shadows and you freeze. For a moment, there’s only the sound of his lighter being closed and pocketed. But after a deep drag that makes the cigarette glow bright, the light reflecting in his eyes, whoever is over there speaks up.

Keep reading

//92 Truths

I’ve been tagged by @featureless-spy​ the sexy and wild mothafucka. Thanks for the tag, i guess you guys will know a bit more of me.

THE LAST…

1.Drink: Tea

2.Phone call: My dad.

3.Text message: BFF <3

4.Song you listened to: Lemaitre - Closer.

5.Time you cried: omg good question, probably a week ago.

HAVE YOU EVER…

6.Dated someone twice: Nope, who do that ?

7.Been cheated on: No

8.Kissed someone and regretted it: Hum well yeah, shit happens.

9.Lost someone special: Yes

10.Been depressed: Yes, i’ve been but not anymore.

Originally posted by gifsme

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: it happened once and not that long ago.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

-Yellow

-Pink

-Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.Made new friends: Maybe too much.

16.Fallen out of love: Yes.

17.Laughed until you cried: Yes like everyday.

18.Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, thoses bitches.

Originally posted by mjfambelike


19.Met someone who changed you: Not really, i change by my own.

20.Found out who your true friends are: Yes, but it’s been a long time.

21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes.

Originally posted by i-am-a-lucky-artefact

GENERAL…

22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Basically everyone, but there are some of them that i didn’t see since a long time.

23.Do you have any pets: Yes i have a dog, his name is Charly but he lives at my parent’s.

24.Do you want to change your name: Nope, i kinda like it.

Originally posted by fuckyeahdragrace

25.What did you do for your last birthday: I party super hard with my friends, the theme of the night was Bollywood, we danced our ass off and drank a bit too much.

Originally posted by collegepsychexperiment

26.What time did you wake up: 08:00 am.

27.What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Love Rain.

28.Name something you cannot wait for: Being independant and having money.

Originally posted by gifsme

29.When was the last time you saw your mother: Two weeks ago, when i came back home. I don’t live in the same city as my parents. (i’m a student)

30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Maybe being a man, i’ve always wanted to be a guy idkw. Or being closer to my family.

31.What are you listening to right now: Jay Park - Aquaman.

32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Oh probably when i went to London many times, but i don’t remember i was drunk.

33.Something that is getting on your nerves:
People being racist, disrespectful, selfish, homophobic. Hate in general. Having no money. Water on my computer. “20% of battery left”. People saying “why are you so much in your chinese shit ?” when i talk about Kpop. No more toilet paper. The light of my bathroom dying. Being lazy. Donald trump. Fuck boys. No more tea left.

34.Most visited website: Tumblr, Youtube, twitter, instagram.

35.Elementary:  ✔

36. High School: ✔

37.College: I didn’t do college but i went to a private art school. I’m still in.

38.Hair color: Blonde and light pink. (all of the pink is gone*sad emoji*)

39.Long or short hair: Mid-long.

40.Do you have a crush on someone: Currently, nope.

41.What do you like about yourself: I like my dumb humour, my eyes, my craziness. And my talent to make anything look stupid.

42.Piercings: My ears

43.Blood type: i have no idea lol

44.Nickname: omg this is gonna be long : Agathe feeling, Agathe the power, Agathe You, Agathe 99 dollars but i can’t spend one. Gagathe, Gagathosaure. (my name is Agathe, and french people love puns)

45.Relationship status: I’m sexy free and single.

Originally posted by jackseunie


46.Zodiac sign: Libra

47.Pronouns: She/her

48.Favorite tv show: Breaking Bad.

49.Tattoos: I got my first one two weeks ago. You can see it right here.

50.Right or left hand: Right.

FIRST…

51.Surgery: I didn’t got surgery. For the moment.

52.Piercing: My ears, i was 14.

54.Sport: Classical dance, i was 8 or 9, really young. As long as i can remember that’s the first sport i did.

Originally posted by 1980s-90sgifs

55.Vacation: Moutain, skiing with my family !

57.Eating: milk lol ?

58.Drinking: Red wine.


59.I’m about to: be lazy, because it’s the end of the day.

60.Listening to: Super Junior - Sorry Sorry, i have no idea why.

61.Waiting for: WEEK-END AND PARTYYYY

62.Want: I want to see GD this year, going to festival, dying my hair, but we can’t have what we want wan’t we ?

63.Get married: maybe one day but not for the moment, you have to meet someone for that lol.

64.Career: Being rich obviously. No but seriously i want to work as a graphic designer, being able to live from my passion would be great.

WHICH IS BETTER…

65.Hugs or kisses: Both ?

Originally posted by candyfornia

66.Lips or eyes: Eyes

67.Shorter or taller: Well i’m tall as fuck, so taller, but i don’t care really.

68.Older or younger: Age is just a number you know

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

70.Nice arms or nice stomach: idk, i’m more into butts.

71.Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.

72.Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73.Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.Kissed a stranger?: Yes

Originally posted by the-vampire-diaries-gif

75.Drank hard liquor?:  omg yes

76.Lost glasses contact/lenses?: Yes

77.Turned someone down?: Yes, many times.

78.Sex on first date?: Never.

79.Broken someone’s heart?: Nope.

80.Had your heart broken?: Yes

81.Been arrested?: No lol

82.Cried when someone died?: Yes

83.Fallen for a friend?: Yes.

Originally posted by restlesstymes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.Yourself?: Yes, i’d say 80%.

85.Miracles?: No, only hard work.

86.Love at first sight?: Yes, but it doesn’t last.

87.Santa Claus?: Yes of course.

Originally posted by sugamysavagebaby

88.Kiss on the first date?: No.

89.Angels?: Nope.

OTHER…

90.Current best friend’s name: Marcie, Manon, Cindy.

91.Eye color: Green.

92.Favorite movie: Bily Eliott.

VOILÀ, the tag is over that was soooo long omg. I’m gonna tag @just-urgh , @cursed-kpop-images, @thequeenshady, @tabi87, @indigyu, @fyminsuga, @kpopmemesnvines,@brooklyntwixx, @kawaii-desu-my-niggaa, @heyitszul

Originally posted by sugamysavagebaby

SERIOUSLY?! - Also “Under 700 Kudos”

Seriously Tumblr?! I am not allowed to reblog my own shit?! HOW?! WHY!? I have always been allowed to before!?

So I made THIS in August last year and since I have gain about 3k+ followers since then I figured I would reblog that post since those are some amazing Sterek fics that could do with some more love. Just a few of them that has reached over the 700 Kudos I set as a max last year. So if you want some good reads, go read them!

So will also just “Copy paste” the post here since I am not allowed to reblog it.

So we had Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day just the other day, 21st of August, and many here noticed that several writers were rec'ed many times and iamderekhale started talking about making a rec list with some of the more under appreciated writers and/or works out there.

The requirements I decided on are as follows,

  • Under 700 Kudos
  • One work and/or series per writer
  • No word count limit
  • Crossovers and Other Works AU are welcomed

These will be works I myself enjoyed reading, a couple of the series might not yet be finished but they are good and more appreciation for them will hopefully get the writer a boost to finish it (I will note on the ones which aren’t complete).

This one is adorable, some parts makes you cry, gets you annoyed/angry at the ignorance in some people but over all a very nice read.
Title:  The Things We Make, We Make With Love. | 11 parts complete |
Writer:  augopher
Word count: 98 325
Summary: “It started with a trip to the mall for craft time. The story of everything in between and a whole lot after.”
First part summary: Derek hated Christmas, okay? But his kid wanted to make Christmas crafts so badly. He couldn’t help if he developed a crush on the employee who helped them. /Or: How a trip to a holiday display for kid’s crafts changed Derek’s life.
Rating: G to M.
Other tags: Gender variant character. Single parent. AU – Human. Kid Fic. Bullying. Fluff and Angst. Emotional Hurt/Comfort.

If you like the Marvel characters of the Avengers (Movies) and Teen Wolf then this might just be right up your alley. People doing stupid stuff without thinking. Love. Hurt and comfort. Stiles being a BAMF, even if you want to hit him over the head a couple of times – but then that’s pretty much canon Stiles isn’t it?

Title: Uncle Phil | COMPLETE |
Writer: heartsdesire456
Word count: 54 266
Summary: Part 1: Phil Coulson gets news that his late sister’s husband, a small town Sheriff from Northern California, was reported missing. By the time he looks into it, Sheriff John Stilinski was already home safe. However, since Phil is the only other relative the Sheriff’s son has, when John needs somewhere to send his son while he’s busy cleaning up the mess his disappearance caused, Phil can’t possible turn down looking after his late sister’s only child.
Rating: G - M
Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence (Last part)
Other tags: AU – Fusion. Crossover. Humor. Canon-Typical Violence.

An Other Works AU – kinda ? I haven’t read Mercy Thompson series, either way it is a good story.

Title: Rez | Complete |
Writer: peacensafty
Word count: 36 849
Summary: AU, Stiles has grown up his whole life on Toad Suck Reservation. When his dad gets called in as arbitrator between different kinds of creatures, Stiles gets to meet Otherkind he’s only ever heard about before. Sterek/OC/some ideas/people stolen from Patricia Brigg’s Mercy Thompson series.
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage. Graphic Depictions of Violence.
Other tags: AU. Fae!Stiles.

A/N “Title is a running joke about how this fic was supposed to be “6 pages tops” and about cake when I started writing it a few episodes into S3. It is now 104 pages, contains every trope I’ve ever wanted, and probably only 1% or less about cake. We all male mistakes.”

Title: The Cake is (Not) a Lie | Complete |
Writer: Xerxies19
Word count: 51 016
Summary: Someone keeps sending Derek cakes that are neither made with explosives or monkshood. Things get out of hand from there.
Rating: Teen and Up
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Other tags: BAMF!Stiles. Pack Feels. Resurrections. Magic!Stiles. References to torture. Alpha!Stiles.

I had marked it for later, later eventually came and I am glad for it. It gave me all kind of different feelings while reading, I haven’t finished the second part yet but I enjoyed the first (121 376 words), the second wasn’t finished when I got to it, but is now.

Title: Good Wolves Doing Bad Things | Three parts complete |
Writer: littlefrog1025
Word count: 297 624
Summary: Part 1 – Howl: A wolf pack is surprisingly a lot like a mafia family…
Rating: Explicit
Other tags: Mafia AU. Future Fic. AU – No Hale fire. Mpreg. Established Relationship. AU – Werewolves are known. Pack Mother Stiles Stilinski. Kid Fic. Domestic Fluff.

It’s adorable. Cute and some times I just wanted to cuddle with them all.

Title: Reflect the Storm
Writer: sasha_bo
Word count: 22 564
Summary: All Stiles wanted to do was summon help… not cause a magical family reunion
Rating: General
Other tags: Magic!Stiles. Time Travel. Kid Fic. Happy with feelings.

I’ve read the everything so far, two parts complete and 12 chapters into part 3, I am really enjoying it. Wanted to hit Stiles over the head a couple of times. Cried some. Laughed. Just generally enjoyed the read.

Title: Pack’s Blood | Two parts complete |
Writer: kuki
Word count: 95 998
Summary: Part 1: Deaton sighed and looked back down at Stiles. “Sorry, but you’re going to be a member of the undead.”

Groaning, Stiles covered his face. “I’m doing what? Fangs? Sparkles? Extreme sun allergy? Any way to reverse it?”

And that’s how Derek ended up babysitting the new baby vampire while he got adjusted. Stiles learns a lot a bout himself while he also learns that vampire and werewolves weren’t always enemies.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Other tags: Vampire!Stiles. Werewolf Mates. AU – Canon Divergence. Vampire Werewolf conflicts. Future fic. Time Travel.

I had such fun reading these. It’s not marked as complete, but the parts that have been posted are complete and even if I would love more in this AU it can be read as complete.

Title: Stark ‘n Stilinski
Writer: whyamIalwaysLoislane
Word count: 3 629
Summary: Part 1: A bored Stiles Stilinski + a Boring internship – adderall X Stark Industries = A whole lot of the Birdy song and a proud mama bear Tony Stark. (Series description: Stiles is interning at Stark Industries when, as only Stiles can, he cocks up so royally he manages to bag himself a job. Stiles & the Pack’s Adventures with the Avengers. Derek in a muscle off with Thor… What could go wrong?)
Rating: T - M
Other tags: Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski. Tony adopts Stiles. Fluff. Darcy and Stiles bromance. Brain Squad. Stark Tower.

Adorable, that’s what this is. Tooth-achingly adorable.

Title: I’m available for tasting
Writer: TheAlternativeSource
Word count: 1 434
Summary: Prompt: When a hot person says they are tired of being single. Try me. I’m available for tasting. - p.s. Derek wants to snuggle Stiles.
Rating: Teen and Up
Other tags: AU – High School. Fluff. Alive Hale. Shy Derek.

I read this just the other day, my partner had to remove my phone so I wouldn’t stay up and finish it sometime in the morning hours. I really like the Stiles in this. I am weak for alive Hale trope.

Title: The Fox Who Ran With Wolves
Writer: AllTheseSquaresMakeACircle
Word count: 37 945
Summary: Stiles is something of an oddity. Not only is he a fox born to human parents, he’s a fox whose also an alpha. And that just didn’t happen. Foxes were supposed to be omegas. Potential mates for alphas and betas who would bear their children and bring balance to an alpha’s power. Only, much like the rest of Stiles’ life, things never seem to go quite as planned. (Or the AU where as an evolutionary jump, humans began being born with animal features. Eyes, ears, tale, etc. These hybrids live alongside humans with relative peace. But much like any world, there are bound to be issues.)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage.
Other tags: Hybrid Universe. Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics. Alpha Stiles. Alpha Derek. Mating. Fluff. Angst. Human/hybrid relationship.

cryxtheace  asked:

Can I ask where a good place to start learning about world cultures and religions might be? Most of what I can find in my library or online are written by outsiders--especially white people. I feel like there's so much I'm missing. I know I'm very ignorant about anything beyond Baptist Christianity and atheism. I only know fragments of anything else, but I want to write a story that reflects the world I live in. Can you point me in the right direction? Thank you, I'm sorry if this is stupid...

Researching Cultures and Religions

I can only speak to my own group, but for us: the Rabbi Harvey graphic novels, retellings of our humorous stories as if they happened in the Old West, is a good intro to Jewishness. For nonfiction try Leo Rosten’s The Joy of Yiddish, although that’s gonna give you only the Ashkenazi (one subset of Jewish people, from northern Europe) point of view.

For everyone else: “most of what you find online” is by outsiders? I suggest looking for blogs by not-outsiders. Don’t ignore them just because they’re not fiction; they can be a valuable resource.

–Shira

I strongly agree with Shira’s sentiment about just looking for bloggers. There are a lot of popular Youtubers/Tumblr-ers from all walks of life who love sharing about themselves and their religion.

–Yasmin

When it comes to researching Native cultures, check out our Researching Native American Cultures guide.

–Lesya

I think it is difficult if not impossible to find non-biased sources about anything, let alone internally diverse cultures and religions.  Personally I find this particularly frustrating since much writing about Hinduism that comes out of the subcontinent these days is unfortunately steeped in pseudoscience and pseudohistory so I cannot in good conscience recommend that as a reliable source.  

Both inside and outside the Indian subcontinent and diaspora community, some work is good and some is not and without an insider’s knowledge it’s unfortunately exceedingly difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff.  I second the notion of looking for blogs, but that too requires a critical eye for bias which few outsiders will have.  

The most I can suggest at the moment is to take descriptive accounts of practice at face value, but disregard bits where the author is editorializing about things that have nothing to do with practice. Read multiple sources from diverse perspectives.  Hinduism is very community driven, so seek out writers from many backgrounds, and those who eschew the notions of community and lineage entirely.

There is no substitute for the source material—however, no Hindu primary sources are written in English.  Everything you read will be an interpretation: condensed, summarized, filtered through the author or translator’s viewpoint.  The best thing I think you can do is to read translations of the major Hindu epics, the Ramayana and Mahabharata, and various folk and mythological tales besides.  Many of these are collected in a number of places.  

The multiplicity of Hindu worldviews is probably best expressed through the stories themselves, and there are of course multiple versions of each, each with slightly or very different perspectives and agendas.  Available translations may be by outsiders and this is okay if they are coming straight from the source material.  Just read multiple translations because one will skip over stuff another leaves in and vice versa.

There is no one perspective on being Hindu or Indian (or anything for that matter).  You’re never going to find the one right way.  Everyone, like an outside writer, is going to have their own interpretation.  

You just have to make sure to listen to their voices first before trying to craft your own viewpoint on what a given culture is.

–Nikhil

More reading: Blogs - Recommendations - Resources

In which horror movies contribute positively

A/N I love Ron and Pansy but I thought it’d be best to show that allies fuck up too and while have good intentions can be misguided at times. Also this is my first fic on this tumblr so whoo

Word count: 2,212

TW: horror films mentioned, outing and biphobic comment none of these are graphic at all. Super vague for the most part but I felt it’d be best to mention it just in case.

Rating: It’s pretty pg

***

“Really Harry? Another horror movie? Ron, why did we let him pick the movie?” Groaned, a slightly agitated Hermione.

Friday’s were movie night, it was a system that they set up when they were all twelve and has been especially reenforced since Ron and Hermione started dating.

“Because the last time Ron picked the movie he picked a sappy movie and the last time you picked one it was a boring documentary– that may I remind you, you two were too busy snogging to watch either film. And let me tell you do NOT want to know that much about the honey badger.”

“He’s got a point, Hermione. Even if we don’t particularly like the film, he’s most likely the only one who’s going to make it through the film, he may as well enjoy it.” Remarked a ever–so–blunt Ron.


“But these movies are always so predictable and unrealistic! You know the horror movie industry has really gone down hill. They rely purely on gore and jump scares which honestly is just tasteless and only affect jumpy or squeamish people. I swear, I don’t know why I put up with you and your horrid movie taste.”

“Because you love me!” Exclaimed a theatrical Harry who dramatically collapses to the floor. His graceless antics earning him stares from anyone passing, a giggle from Hermione, and a eye roll from Ron.

Ron snorts, “More like she needs a gay best friend”

“You twit, you know I’m bisexual not gay there’s a bloody difference” Harry mutters. Only feeling a small pang of annoyance but it’s still there nonetheless. It had never been a secret that he was bisexual, it was a common known fact among them. And yet Ron can’t be bothered to remember this trait.

“Honestly Ronald, you know how your stereotyping is problematic. It’s rude and immoral, being straight doesn’t give you the right to be an ignorant twit and you know this. One of of these days you’re going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and get yourself into serious problems—”

“Hermione is that you?” A soft voice foreign to Harry asked behind him.

“Oh my goodness Pansy It’s been too long! I haven’t seen you since you moved! What’re you doing here?” Hermione asked, ignoring the questioning looks Ron and Harry were sending her. It’s not that they weren’t aware she had friends outside of them, she was a intelligent and busy individual they’d be stupid to assume she didn’t, but usually they’d at least have some recollection of who the people are. The name sounded familiar but that was about it.

“I actually got to move back, my father’s decided to focus of his businesses he has around here! And I got to bring back my bestie Draco here! I’ve mentioned him loads of times before.” The girl, Pansy, said pointing at possibly the nicest looking bloke Harry had ever seen.

“That’s lovely news Pansy, will you be rejoining me as head of the book club? Also I do remember, it’s nice to finally meet you, Draco! This is my boyfriend Ron, and our best mate Harry”

Pansy squealed that the mention of them, “Ohh boyfriend is it now? About damn time! Also these are the two you always talk about! S'nice to finally meet you both, I’m Pansy and this lovely piece of ass I have here is Draco, who is very much single if you guys know any blokes trying to hit it,” she said adding a sultry wink.

“PANSY!! YOU CANT GO SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT. I DONT EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE! COULD YOU BE ACTING ANY MORE LIKE A PLEBEIAN FOOL?!” The boy, Draco, screeched. His face turning a unhealthy shade of red that only was amplified by his pale skin. He appeared to be seething with anger by his facial expression, but his body language not to mention the fact that he was standing behind of Pansy were signs he was terrified.

“I can and I did. Plus I’m just being a good friend, trying to help you scope out the gays around here.” Pansy said smugly.

Everyone was quiet for a second, partially because everyone else was stunned at bullshit spewing from Pansy’s mouth, and partially because they were debating whether or not to mention the elephant in the room. Finally Harry decides he’s never been shy when sharing his opinion, why start now?

“First off, I don’t think it was okay for you to out Draco like that. If he wanted us to know he would’ve said so. Second off, don’t worry about us being homophobic. I’m very much so bisexual, Hermione is a out and proud Demisexual, and Ron here is dating Hermione so obviously he has no issues with LGBT+ people”

“Thank you, Harry is it? That means a lot.” Draco said graciously and Harry had to admit his posh accent was the sexiest thing he’s ever heard.

Pansy paled, seeming to realize what she did wrong, “I’m sorry Draco, I was thinking with my head in my ass! I should’ve been more considerate of you. I’m just too used to you being out and confident about it.”

“Pansy I don’t mind, I just only want to talk about it if it’s brought up, I don’t want to walk up to people being all ‘I’m here and I’m queer’ it’s unbecoming” he explained.

Pansy groaned and wrinkled her nose, “you’re starting to sound like your dad, stop that!”

“Yeah no worries about us, Harry’s actually the leader of both the LGBT+ club at our school and our community one that’s held at the library so if you really are interested in meeting someone whether Platonically or romantically, Harry can probably set you up.” Hermione explained.

To which Ron retorts, “Harry’s also single himself, in case you’re interested”

Harry can feel his tan cheeks turning into a very fluorescent pink, but refuses to acknowledge what has been stated about his current relationship status of lack of therefore. Mostly because he was glad the blonde knew. He definitely wouldn’t mind getting to know him a bit more.

Seeming to be very interested on his shoes, Draco, mumbles a polite thank you.

“What movie are you two here to see?” Hermione said, hoping to end this before it got any worse.

“The Conjuring 2, I’ve been wanting to watch it but haven’t gotten around to it until now.”

“Oh that’s great! We were actually going to see that one too, Harry choice”

“Awesome, how about we all sit together?”

“Sounds like a plan!”

—————————————–——————

While Ron, Hermione, and Pansy sought out good seats, Draco and Harry were sent on a snack bar.

Draco went first, getting his and Pansy’s stuff. Which only entailed of red licorice, peanut butter cups, one medium popcorn, and two red slushies.

Then it was Harry’s turn, which consisted of one large popcorn, a package of red vines, one medium kettle corn, 2 blue slushies and 1 red slushy, and Hershey kisses.

Draco sneered, “why not just get a whole chocolate bar?”

“You’ll see,” Harry said, smirking. If there was one thing he knew, it was that his food choices were on point.

They had all ironically chosen to go during the morning, which practically guaranteed them good seats considering most people went in the afternoons.

“You guys over here!” Ron yelled, much to the annoyance of anyone within a five feet radius of them.

Harry sighed, “Sorry about him, he usually forgets common curtesy.”

Draco cringes, “So he’s always like this?”

“Pretty much, but it’s endearing. He’s a good guy, just a bit rowdy. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Except in public settings”

“Nah, that just adds for funny stories.”

“True,” he said, and they quieted as they both settled at their seats. Since they were both last to arrive they sat next to each other, with Pansy sitting on the farthest end from them, Ron next to her, and Hermione next to Harry.

“Here’s your things,” they both said at the same time. Draco handed Pansy her popcorn and drink. Then after handing Ron his popcorn, red vines, and their red slushies, Hermione handed Harry her bag. To which Harry brought out a plate filled with decently warm cookies, Carmel bites, crasins, and the best part: gummy bears.

“Isn’t that not allowed?” Draco whispered,

“It’s not, but they never check women’s purses. Plus I’m putting all of this in my kettle corn alongside the Hershey kisses. Making for the best trail mix ever”

“Sheesh don’t you mean unhealthiest, you go all out, don’t you?”

“I don’t get to eat junk food much at home, my cousin usually eats all the good food.”

“Fair enough, add my stuff. It’ll be more sugary goodness.”

“More like you want my freshly baked cookies.” Harry teased.

“A little bit of both” Draco teased back, adding his peanut butter cups and licorice into the already unhealthy mix.

The movie started and all conversations lulled.

____________________________________________

“Don’t go in there, don’t in there. FUCKING SHIT THEY WENT IN THERE” Draco whisper/screamed. Whimpering loudly as his hands tried to cover his eyes, to no avail considering the fact that he was peaking through the spaces between his fingers.

He had subtly been inching closer to Harry after every jump scare. He didn’t this other boy noticed, but he swore he was moving closer as well. Though not out of fear, he evidently looked bemused by the whole ordeal that was unraveling on the screen. How someone could find these treacherous films amusing he’ll never know.

Draco can feel his pounding heart, as it exhilarated to a rate he didn’t think possible. He could just feel the next scare ready to happen, but somehow not knowing when just makes it all that much worse. When it finally comes, he actually jumps out of his seat. He cowers to the corner next to Harry in fear.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s just a movie. Come sit here,” Harry said, moving his drink to the cup holder next to Hermione.

“JUST A MOVIE? IT IS BASED OFF A REAL EVENT” Draco whispered harshly. Moving quickly into Harry’s arms before his remaining dignity decided to make an appearance.

“They say that to amp up the views it’s not actually true. It’s the Hollywood version of YouTube’s click baiting”

“Still doesn’t make the jump scares any less frightening” Draco mumbled into Harry’s shoulder.

“It does when you understand the basics of what it takes to make these movies. Through a logical point of view.” To which this lead Harry to a mini rant on horror movies and the effects used now a days.

“Okay, but I’m still staying here just to be safe” Draco said.

“Fine by me” Harry said smiling.

And this was how the two spent the remainder of the movie, cuddling and eating the snacks.

As the credits commenced to roll, they exited the theater. And Draco’s dignity finally met up with the rest of him.

He blushes furiously, eyes adverted from the other boy’s as he spoke, “ I.. Uhh.. Sorry for, you know bothering you and all”

“What are you talking about? You weren’t a bother at all, and I was kind of hoping to, I mean if you wanted to go—”

“Whatever it is, yes. If you can actually still put up with me then I’m down for whatever you have in mind”

“First off I thought you were rather endearing and it made look more human. Also are you sure whatever I had in mind? What if I was planning to invite you to a round in a sex dungeon with me?”

“Well I’d say I’m the Dom and there is no room for discussion on that. Also I’m not into anything furry related.”

Harry blanched, “Oh my god, where have you been all my life?”

“Well the question now is where am I going to be in your life now that you know me?”

“Coffee with me at Maurader’s Café tomorrow? I’ll pick you up.”

“Sounds great, I can’t wait.” Draco responds. They then quickly exchange numbers.

“Draco we have to go, mom needs us home so we can get ready for the dinner thing with dad’s boring business people” Pansy said.

“I’ll text you later, okay?” Draco said.

“Can’t wait, I’ll be counting the seconds” Harry yelled at them as they reseeded to the parking lot.

“Well that was actually a decent film, it wasn’t totally unbearable. Don’t you think, Harry?” Hermione asks, midway through a discussion on the movie with Ron.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it was great.” Harry said and his grinned turned impossibly wider as he realized. For once it was him who didn’t finish the film.

I’m Here Now

Summary: Everyone always talks about Dan being scared of the dark. But sometimes, Phil gets scared too. And in those moments, Phil’s mind starts racing, and he needs a little help from his (too) perfect boyfriend to feel better again.
Word count: 2941
Genre: Oneshot / Fluff / Angst
Warnings: Swearing, a bit of self hate (nothing graphic or body related really)
Disclaimer: This is all fiction and unfortunately i do not own dan or phil.
A/N: This was only meant to be a superfluffy little drabble, but somewhere along the way it turned into a angsty yet fluffy oneshot. We all need a bit more of scared phil and comfort!dan in our lives. Okay bye hope you enjoy :)

You can also read it here on ao3 if you prefer and want to comment or something :)



Everyone always said that Dan was the one in the relationship who was afraid of the dark. That was a true fact. Dan was very afraid of the dark. Phil had always found it quite endearing and just plain out adorable how the younger would almost sprint across their dark apartment every time he had to turn the lights off. Which was something Dan often had to do as he was an incurable night owl. Not even his fear of the dark mysterious corners could stop him from scrolling through tumblr on their couch at 3am.

Phil on the other hand, he was alright with the dark. Of course he didn’t enjoy it. What kind of sadist would enjoy it? Phil was just content with it. It was there every night and there were most likely no killers or monsters hiding in the shadows. But there was one thing that scared Phil about the darkness. Noises.

This fear had been worse when Phil lived up north in his big family house. Dan was right, it was like something from a horror movie. The entire house had creaked by the smallest gust of wind, and the attic always seemed to make unexplainable noises. That house could make anyone paranoid.

Living in London had made Phil somewhat used to noises. Whether it was sirens, loud cars in general, or someone shouting in the street outside, there was some noise going on most of the time. There was always a reason for it. If it sounded like a psychopath, it was probably just a normal drunk guy walking past their house. There was absolutely no reason to worry or to be scared.

But tonight, Phil felt a bit uneasy as he laid in bed. Dan was in the lounge, scrolling through tumblr as usual. Or maybe he was watching youtube videos. Phil had heard him laugh a few times. Usually, Phil would’ve smiled while he fell asleep to the sound of his boyfriend’s laughs and keyboard clicking in the other room. But not tonight.

He tried. He really did. He closed his eyes and tried to think happy thoughts. Kittens. Rainbows. Unicorns. Kittens having a tea party with unicorns in a rainbow castle. No, that didn’t work. It was too colurful.
How about thinking of Dan. Dan’s curly hair after he’d had a shower. Dan’s long legs in skinny jeans. Dan’s deep dimple. Dan’s kind eyes. Dan’s broad shoulders. Dan’s cute tummy that Phil had placed loving kisses on more times than he could count when the younger felt self concious.

Ugh no, that certainly did not work. All this thinking of Dan just made Phil miss him even more. Why couldn’t he come to bed already? Phil stretched his arm out to reach his phone. He blinked rapidly to adjust his eyes to the bright light from his screen. It wasn’t even 1am yet. He rolled over and groaned quietly into his pillow. Dan wouldn’t come to bed for atleast another two hours, if not more. There were no perks of having a nocturnal boyfriend.
Phil was a little surprised that the man in question had dared to stay up by himself however. The viscous storm sweeping over London, the reason for Phil’s sleeping problems in the first place, should be enough to scare Dan. It was one of Dan’s biggest nightmares to have to navigate through their apartment in complete darkness. But tonight, he didn’t seem bothered about it at all. He’d had an emotionless expression on his face when Phil had announced that he was going to bed almost an hour ago.
Phil was honestly a bit annoyed at him. How could he be completely fine just sitting out there by himself, while it sounded like the house was falling apart brick by brick? Phil sure as hell wasn’t fine. The rain was angrily attacking his window. The tree outside, which was actually stood quite far from their building, was bendy tonight and the twigs were occasionally slapping on the wall next to Phil’s bed. Everything was creaking. The walls. The floor. The roof. Everything. The longer he laid there, the more it felt like he was in a horror movie. The moonlight made creepy silhouettes on the white walls. Yeah, Phil was definitely not getting any sleep tonight.

Phil knew he was being silly. He was a 28 yearold grown man. It was silly to be afraid of a stupid storm. He’d lived through many storms in his life. But tonight, everything and everyone seemed to be against Phil.
The storm was making him anxious. Dan was ignoring him. Phil had dropped an entire bowl of cereal on his jeans earlier that night. He had stripped down to his boxers in the middle of the lounge and Dan had barely even looked at him. It was honestly bothering Phil a bit. Sure, they had been together for six years. That’s long enough to not drool all over yourself when your partner is standing in only his boxers infront of you. But Phil thought that they were different to other couples. That they had done a good job at keeping their love life young and fresh over the years. Phil was still just as in love with Dan as he had been the first time they met. Lots of other things in their lives had changed around them, but not their relationship. But maybe Phil was wrong. Maybe Phil had been too dragged in to the whole “heart eyes howell” thing like the fans were. “Heart eyes howell” was a real thing. Phil was blessed enough to look into those brown orbs every single day. He could see it up close, face to face. The adoration the younger had towards Phil. It wasn’t just lucky screenshots by the fans. It was a real thing. Right?

Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe that was just Dan’s eyes. Maybe Phil was just as fooled as their viewers. How would he even know? Brown eyes always look kind. Maybe Phil was delusional. Dan might be sick of him by now.
What if Phil’s age bothered him? Dan was only 24. He had barely left his teen years behind, while Phil was so close to 30 that he could almost touch it with his fingertips. Did it bother Dan? Phil had always thought Dan enjoyed the age gap, but maybe he had been wrong all along.

Phil’s racing mind was abrubtly disturbed by the sound of thunder. He instinctively pulled his duvet up even more. So much that it almost covered his entire face. Phil then squeezed his eyes shut and focused on not crying. He could feel that the tears were threatening to spill out the moment he opened his eyes again.

It took less than a minute before Phil could hear the bedroom door open. Dan had probably forgotten his charger in the room or something. Phil waited for Dan to leave and tried his best to look like he was sleeping. As much as he wanted to hold the younger man right now, Phil didn’t have the heart to bother him with his silly sadness.

That’s why Phil was surprised when he felt the right side of their bed move. The large familiar figure slipped down under the duvet. But Phil was stubborn and kept his eyes shut the entire time. A few seconds went by before the figure chuckled only inches from Phil’s face.
“Phil, I know that you’re awake.” Phil had to subtly bite his bottom lip to stop himself from letting out a groan of annoyance.
“No I’m not.” he mumbled. Dan chuckled again. “You’re a terrible liar Philly.”
“Or maybe you just know me too well. Six years and all.” Phil replied. Dan hummed softly in reply as he reached his hand over and ran his fingers over the others cheek.
“No point acting anymore. Open your eyes for me please?” Phil hesitated but did as he was told. His gaze immediately landed on familiar brown eyes. As he had expected, a teardrop or two spilled onto his colourful pillow as he did so. Dan looked at the tears with a surprised expression that soon turned into a frown. His fingers carefully ran over the wet cheek before he broke the short silence. “What’s wrong?”
Phil was in no mood to even begin to try explaining his silly midnight worries. So he didn’t say anything. He just rolled over so that he was facing the wall instead of Dan. He spoke again after he’d pulled the covers tightly around himself. “Goodnight Dan.”

But Dan wasn’t having any of that tonight. He wanted answers. He swiftly moved closer to his older boyfriend again so that he was almost spooning him. Dan started tracing his fingers softly on Phil’s back. He knew that the action often calmed the other down when he was upset.
“Please talk to me. Did I do something wrong? Please tell me if I’ve hurt you in any way. I promise I won’t do it again no matter what it is.”
Phil sighed deeply. There was no point in fighting it when Dan was in his stubborn mood. He turned his body to face Dan again, albeit keeping a bit of a distance between their bodies.
“Of course you didn’t do anything wrong Dan. You can never do anything wrong.” Phil sighed again before continuing in a more sad tone. “You’re too perfect.”
Dan frowned again, still clueless.
“What do you mean I’m too perfect? I’m not perfect. Did you hit your head on something? Are you actually physically okay right now? Because you’re talking absolute nonsense.” Dan said with a sad smile. Phil appreciated his boyfriend’s attempt to lighten the mood. But tonight, it didn’t make him feel any better at all. Phil shook his head.
“No Dan, you are. You are the most perfect person I’ve ever met. You are flawless inside and out. I don’t understand how you are even a thing. It’s like someone actually handcrafted you” Phil rolled over so that he was staring at their ceiling instead of Dan’s face. His perfect face was just annoying him right now. “You’re so perfect that it almost makes me religious.”

Dan let out a loud snort at the others speech. Phil looked over and frowned. “It’s not funny. I’m serious.”
“I’m sorry Phil, but I can’t take your very serious declaration of love seriously when you look like you’re about to burst into tears, while it sounds like the wall is gonna fall down.” He smiled sadly.
“I just don’t understand. Is my so called ‘perfection’ bothering you or what are you trying to tell me?” He closed the space between them and let his head rest against Phil’s shoulder. Phil wanted to push him away at first to show that he was irritated. But he could never say no to Dan’s cuddles. Even though they were sort of having a fight.
“It’s just…is heart eyes howell real?” He looked down on his younger boyfriend’s face as he waited for his response.
“What do you mean?” he asked curiously. Phil took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling again before he began explaining.

“It’s just that…you know, is it real? Or am I delusional? Maybe I let our viewers influence me too much. Maybe that’s just what your eyes look like. Eyes can’t look in love. That’s not scientifically possible. Eyes always look the same. So maybe you don’t love me as much as I thought you did. Perhaps you’re getting tired of me. And…and I think my age bothers you. You’re so young Dan and I’m almost 30. I know we joke about the whole ‘daddy’ thing sometimes, even in bed, but that’s all it is. Jokes. I’m a joke.” Phil almost didn’t dare to glance over at Dan again. When he did, Dan was staring at him, mouth slightly open without saying a word. 

A few seconds went by before Dan suddenly launched himself onto his boyfriend. Phil yelped in surprise.
“What the hell are you doing Dan?!”
Dan was hovering over, or more like laying on top of, Phil’s entire body. He was attacking the other man’s body and face with little kisses. It tickled, but Phil tried to keep a straight face.
“You’re fucking perfect Phil Lester. Don’t you dare to ever think anything else.” He placed a gentle kiss on Phil’s collarbone.
“First of all…” quick kiss on his chest. “You know just as much as I do and our fandom does that 'heart eyes howell’ is a real thing. Science can’t explain everything. And that’s a big statement coming from me, mr 'I don’t believe in anything that science can’t prove’” Phil could feel a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. Dan continued in a more serious tone. 
“I don’t look at anyone else in the entire world the same way that I look at you. You know that, don’t you?” Phil nodded.

“Second of all…” featherlight kiss to the side of Phil’s neck. “You’re right. I don’t love you as much as you think. I love you a billion times more than you think I do. Or wait, a trillion times. No wait, a zillion times and whatever’s bigger than that.” Dan placed a more nibbling kiss closer to his jawline. Phil could feel a blush coming on and he prayed that Dan wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Third of all…” a longer kiss on his cheek. “Your age does not bother me at all. You’re a big kid at heart. I honestly never ever think about our age gap. Well, except in bed of course. But that’s only because it turns me on so much. You know it does.“ Yupp, Phil was definitely blushing now. The fact that Dan’s voice had turned lower, deeper, and more seductive was not helping one bit.
“Don’t even try to deny it Philip. I know you love it too. Me acting like your needy twink. Calling you 'daddy’. You fucking love it. I will never get tired of that.”
Dan stopped tracing Phil’s face like he had done subconciously whilst talking, and instead he cupped the elders cheeks in his hands. Dan crashed their lips together in a needy kiss.
They weren’t really making out. It was more intimate and emotional than that. A few teardrops fell from Phil’s eyes, where they’d been threatening to spill out throughout Dan’s speech. Dan’s warm hands catched them before they got the chance to wet his pillow. Dan broke their kiss and leaned back again, still not breaking eye contact. 

“And finally…” soft kiss to Phil’s nose, which finally made Phil grin. Actually, he was already grinning. He hadn’t even noticed that he was. Must’ve happened whilst kissing.
“Finally…” Dan repeated. “You are not a joke. Never call yourself that again. If I catch you doing it again, I…I will force you to sleep on the couch for the rest of your life.”
Phil snorted. “You do know that we own two beds right? You can’t guard two beds at the same time.” Dan looked thoughtful for a moment.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to lock the door then. Simple.”
“Our doors don’t have locks.”
“I will buy locks.”
“Our landlord would kill you.”
Dan sighed in defeat. “Fine. I guess I’ll have to refuse to give you kisses and cuddles then.”
Phil pouted. “But I need your cuddles. They’re like food. You’d die without food. I’d die without my daily dose of Dan cuddles.”
Dan smiled big in triumph and in adoration of his adorable boyfriend. Phil was smiling too, and the space between them closed again.

After a minute or two of lazy kisses and giggles, they broke apart and Dan resumed his previous position with his head resting on Phil’s shoulder. Though this time, Dan’s body was clinging onto Phil’s like a sloth and their legs were an entangled mess.
“Are you feeling better now?” Dan asked. Phil nodded. “Yeah. Much better. Thank you Dan, you always know how to make me feel better. I don’t know what i’d do without you. And sorry for crying. I don’t usually cry that easily”
Dan hummed in content and sleepiness. “The feeling is mutual. And it’s fine love, everybody needs a cry someimes”

Phil let his head drop down so it was resting against Dan’s messy curls. He smelled like vanilla. He must’ve stolen Phil’s impulse bought shampoo that he’d forgotten he owned. It wasn’t a rare thing for them to steal eachothers hygene products. But it still made Phil smile.
Another thing that was forgotten was the storm. It had died down by now, but rain was still pouring down outside. Phil suddenly remembered something.

“Dan, why are you in bed at 1am? Shouldn’t you be out there browsing right now?” Phil asked curiously. Dan shook his head.
“Of course not. There’s a storm. You hate storms. I’m not gonna leave you alone when you’re scared. “His grip tightened around Phil. 

“Remember what I told you a long time ago? When you were home alone up north and you were scared? I told you that I wanted to be there so you wouldn’t have to be brave. Well, I’m here now. Every day for the rest of our lives if you want me to. You never have to be brave on your own again.”
Phil smiled and planted a kiss to his sleepy boyfriend’s forehead as a way to say thank you. Dan got the message and smiled, already half asleep. Phil could feel himself drifting off aswell. 

It was amazing, how even their fears fitted together perfectly. And Dan had nothing to worry about. Phil would happily spend the rest of his life with Dan by his side every single day.

Saving Lives (5) Numb

Saving Lives Masterlist here!

AO3 link here!

Series Summary: You’re a general surgeon in the Kansas General Hospital. Everything goes great, you’re incredible at your job, but the thing that you lack are friends. It changes when a new surgeon, Sam Winchester, shows up at the hospital.

Word Count: 2383

Characters: Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak, Alex Jones, Krissy Chambers, Josie Sands (mentioned)

Pairing: Doctor!Sam x Doctor!Reader

Warnings/Tags: angst, medical language, grieving, graphic descriptions of injuries

Beta: @faegal04, thanks love!

A/N: I finally got back to my sweet series, whee! This one will never be completely fluffy, I think, but I hope you’ll enjoy it nonetheless!

If you want to be tagged/untagged in everything or only some stuff, simply let me know or add yourself to this tag sheet! (Tags at the bottom of the post, those that are crossed out mean that Tumblr didn’t let me tag you.)

DISCLAIMER: I’m only tagging those people who confirmed that they want to be tagged after my Tag Sheet Update. If you were on my tags and haven’t confirmed yet, here’s the link to the post that will tell you what to do.

Feedback very welcome and highly appreciated. Feel free to check out my Masterlist if this piece leaves you wanting more :)

You woke up a minute or two before your alarm’s sound pierced through silence, making it impossible for you to ignore the fact that a new day had started.

It hit you when you opened your eyes and got up; Josie was dead.

Taking a deep breath, you picked up your phone and turned off the alarm, trying not to let your mind wander toward the memories of her or the pain you were feeling since the day before. It was all too hard so you pushed it aside, deciding that you would attempt to absolutely ignore that what happened was real at all.

Maybe it wasn’t a healthy strategy, but that’s all you had so you’d have to stick with it.

Keep reading

#youAREgoingaboutitthewrongway
  • “As far as I can see, this person doesn’t even have an eating disorder”

That’s not your assertion to make.  Ever.

  • “I give you like 48 hours until Tumblr deletes your blog.”

You cannot guarantee termination, and there’s no point in putting on airs and insinuating otherwise.  How does this encourage someone to privatize posts?

  • “If you’re really sick you don’t have to tag it with pro ana or thinspo”

People that are, indeed, very sick will use the #pro ana or #thinspo tags if they please.  Tags aren’t an indication of illness severity.

  • “So, you give no fucks about the health of your followers? Also, if she’s a minor, you’re DEFINITELY going to jail.”

“Assumptions make an ass of u and me.”  I don’t believe that anyone in the community has a sufficient enough understanding of laws binding users of an international social media platform to be able to discuss the legal ramifications of pro-ed posting with certainty.  

  • “I honestly just wonder how people can be so stupid, immature, inconsiderate, insensitive, and just plain disgusting.”

This is not productive.  This is rude.  This does nothing but create animosity and dissent.

  • “And don’t forget all the creepy perverts,looking at your boney body picture while masturbating,thinking of how they fuck or maybe even rape you.”

Sexual exploitation is relevant, but a graphic description does not need to be used as a shock tactic.

These are things that I have seen being posted by members of the anti-pro-ana community.  Not only are they inappropriate and highly insensitive, but they send a message of superiority, intolerance, and hatefulness.  You cannot forget that the person you are reblogging a post from is your equal, regardless of the choices they’re making.  Please: enough with the superiority complexes, the goading, the mockery.  Be respectful; aim to communicate, educate, and eradicate.  You represent a fine group of people and an honorable movement every time you hit “post.”  Please don’t give APAC a bad name.

copying other people’s gfx / gfx styles: my two cents worth

About one year ago, I wrote a post about my opinion on copying graphics. In light of the fact that recently I have observed a lot of my graphics being copied and that I have even received an IM asking me how I deal with gfx copiers, this is sort of a revision of the said post. 

I’m going to do things a little differently this time and directly address some of the hateful anon messages (shame on you) I have seen fellow mutuals receiving with regards to them speaking out about this matter.

1. “You take graphic making so fucking seriously. It’s just graphics. Chill.”
Take an analogy. Imagine you had to work on a project all by yourself while your friend slacked off and claimed all the credit for the project. Certainly, it’s technically not a crime. But you see how screwed up this is if we were to just stop there and accept it? This isn’t how “serious” the matter is, this is about being a decent human being and not invalidating someone’s hard work. I’ve seen so many mutuals / awesome graphic makers wanting to leave Tumblr solely because they’re tired of seeing their graphics being copied. Precisely it’s because people don’t take making graphics seriously enough anymore that it’s waste of time to put their heart and soul into it.

And honestly, it’s not anyone’s right to decide whether graphic making is unimportant. You wouldn’t know what graphic making means to someone. Maybe it’s their way of expressing love for a fandom, maybe it’s their way of coping with real life problems (this applies particularly for me). Honestly, you’re an asshole if you think it’s “unimportant” when a person takes away the meaning of doing something from someone.

2. “You should be proud of and not offended by the fact that people want to copy your style. It’s a compliment to you because it means you have great style.”
Let me address this on a more personal level. I’m a college student who doesn’t have a lot of time to study, hang out with my friends and watch anime….let alone make graphics. When I do sit down to make graphics, it’s not like I whip out something within seconds - making graphics for me takes a copious amount of planning first, actual execution and constant refining. So yeah, I at least don’t consider it a “compliment” and in fact, I find it absolutely insulting. I find it an insult when someone else doesn’t consider how much effort + time I’ve put in on a graphic (when frankly I could be doing something else), only considering how many notes and followers they are going to gain from my idea. I find it insulting when people use me as a “stepping stone” without considering how I would feel. What I consider a compliment is when people like my style so much that it inspires them to improve on their own style and graphics, not when people decide to use it as a quick and easy way to gain attention while other people are working their asses off. If YOU as a graphic maker consider it a compliment, then be my guest, let everyone in the world copy your graphics. But, especially if you have never made a graphic in your life, don’t force this on other graphic makers who are truly upset when people copy their hard work.

3. “It’s not like your graphics are 100% original anyway.”
Sure, there are millions of graphics on this site and it’s true that nobody’s graphic is 100% unique anymore. Still, I don’t know why this should give people the excuse to copy someone’s graphic 100% wholesale. It’s like saying, “Oh, we’re all eventually going to die someday anyway, so why not we just YOLO and fuck shit up around the world?”. On this site, it’s like saying “Oh nobody’s graphic is 100% original so okay I guess it’s fine for me to just copy someone else’s graphic.” Honestly, I don’t know why people never think “Oh nobody’s graphic is 100% original but that won’t stop me from trying my best to develop my own style” instead of making stupid excuses for themselves. Again, it’s about being a decent human being and understanding by yourself what is right and what is wrong. 

4. “I don’t see what’s wrong as long as you credit the original creator for inspiration in the caption of the graphic.”
Honestly this topic is pretty much a grey area. But in my opinion, it is only polite that you at least ask the original graphic maker first for permission if you want to use their graphic for inspiration and not go behind their backs. Even if you creditted them for insp but did not ask them for permission, it’s like you’re telling them that you don’t respect them enough to at least ask what their preferences are. Also, I wished that people would at least put in some semblance of an effort of adapting the user’s graphic to THEIR OWN style instead of copying it wholesale. Again, stop making excuses for yourself.

With all this said and done, I understand how hard it is to be a new graphic maker and how when you start out, you get are bound to get inspiration from the bigger graphic makers out there. But the key idea is that you have to put in effort, you have to be respectful of others and you should never claim someone else’s hard work for yourself. It’s extremely hurtful and absolutely rude. 

Please save the dying graphic community on Tumblr. Please be more decent human beings. This has been a PSA.

ok let’s have a quick chat about the reshidei in hamatora official art

probably pretty much just a follow up to my (stupid eyesore of a) reshidei ”graphic” post since i found high res photos of the official art on zerochan and gallery.minitokyo and some users on tumblr (whom i am so so thankful for i love you all and all you do for the hamatora fandom)

also probably proof reshibasu/basureshi/reshidei/birthrate/birthdayxratio/ratioxbirthday is canon (could be kidding but maybe not)

anyway let’s get chatting about reshidei

first

we’ll talk about how cute murasaki and nice and art are later (but i’ll say anyway they’re all baes and babs i love them all so much)

now when i first saw this picture i thought “what the hell birthday are you drunk” because just look at him he’s being extra silly and till now i’ve just thought he’s drunk maybe they’re having a really fun party

but with the revelation of nice’s age and finding a high res picture i’ve noticed a couple of things and concluded birthday is not drunk he’s just stUPID 

 because

1) nice is a minor (and a cutie but still he’s not legal)

hence they would not drink with him

also as seen above they’re only having green tea and some random japanese snack i’ll just assume goes well with green tea

it’s important for me to know they’re not drunk because 

2) i’ll say it again birthday is being fucking silly

striking a really weird (almost provocative) pose with his leg on the table right in front of ratio

3) birthday is making a chuu face

winking at ratio (pretty suggestive with that pose if you ask me)

that’s a really pretty face birthday

4) “birthday no youre seriously pissing me off”

is what i thought that expression was for but if you played around with it like i did (for the graphics post)

i saw that

5) ratio has a stupid pink tint on his cheek

you’ll see it when the photo is darkened a bit

this is why it’s important that they aren’t drunk and those blushes aren’t from alcohol

and i’m done that was more than a couple of points

bottom line is reshidei is real

next

again we’ll talk about murasaki and nice and art some other time

and again i’ll say they’re adorable baes and babs (waifu!art is really fucking cute wow can i keep you) (murasaki is a babe hey) (nice is a bab)

now let’s look at reshidei again

i will not deny that their faces are sO PRECIOUS THEY’RE MY BAES

but while everyone else is ready they’RE STILL MESSING AROUND BECAUSE BIRTHDAY’S ADDING SOMETHING TO IT (so what they shared a dish to serve they have to cook together stupid husbands)

and ratio’s just holding birthday’s arm like BIRTHDAY NO but he’s barely resisting really and birthday’s face is like jUST A LITTLE RATIO-CHAN YOU’RE NO FUN

and they’RE SUCH ADORABLE BABS I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO WITH YOU

ok next

they all look so freakin good in this one again murasaki is a babe and art is a bae (he looks so good in that black suit wow) and nice is still a bab tryin to look cute over there

reshidei time

i have no idea what the hell birthday is doing in this one looking all smug like that why is he holding ratio like that i have no freaking idea really but ratio isn’t resisting at all

next

THIS ONE IS JUST REALLY FUCKING CUTE OK WOW YOU’RE ALL SO IMPORTANT TO ME

i have a transparent art for you here!!!

let’s just have a look at reshidei now

they’re just really cute i don’t have anything else to say for this one but i also have a transparent reshidei for you

i don’t even know why i made this post

you can see reshidei everywhere if you look around enough even though it’s actually plain as day

reshidei are my bAES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH SORRY FOR THIS POST THANKS FOR YOUR TIME I’M SO SORRY

A little PSA for AO3 users

Hey ho howdy friends, D here with a little notice on some seriously stupid events going down in my life.

So everyone mainly uses AO3 and FFN.net for their fanfic uploads & cravings, and as I am someone who does not use FFN I cannot give a PSA about that website. Therefore I’m gonna highlight something for you readers & writers on Archive Of Our Own:

The Terms of Service/Conditions state that you’re NOT ALLOWED to promote ANY sort of commissions/sales of any kind, or even MENTION that you have a Patreon or a funded page that goes towards you or something else. Doing so & getting reported will be means for suspension/banning

Promotion of commercial products or activities is not allowed. Repeated identical or nearly identical posts in multiple places, e.g., a large number of identical comments promoting a website, will also be considered spam regardless of commercial content.

This clause has now put my AO3 account (as well as my boyfriend’s old account which was suspended & had content removed without much warning or grace period) under possible watch because I have commissions on Tumblr and mentioned them on AO3. After today, Friday July 15th, I’m in danger of deletion if someone on the Abuse team deems that I did not comply. (which I did & changed my fics notes)

***** What’s really bad with this clause: yeah it gets rid of spam bots and the like, but if there’s one person who’s butt-hurt about a certain writer’s interests or fanfic content (which is probably what happened with my boyfriend) they will comb the terms & conditions for any infraction. And this rule is a HUGE HUGE problem that ppl can take advantage of bcuz of the lack of concern for reasons of infraction. Most writers I know need to have their work advertised since we’re not graphic artists, as well as some people who only have a Patreon as a main page/need commissions for personal reasons. *****

I mentioned it in the notes in a few of my fics that hey, I have commissions (posted on Tumblr reasons: need the money bcuz I have an abusive household that I’m trying to move out from/need money for college & food & future savings to support my boyfriend & I) and that if my readers like my work, they can support me here. That’s against the Terms & Conditions of the site, and the person running the Abuse section emails that my bf and I got (who I will not name but if u come to me off anon I will give you a warning about them) does not seem to care about the conditions of your infraction. They gave me ample time to change the stuff on my fics (which I complied to) but in my boyfriend’s case they seized control, deleted the offending fics one by one without any prior notice/without my boyfriend’s consent, and were incredibly rude in the emails regarding why he was reported & what he can do to appeal. (they didn’t allow him to appeal, which pissed us both off) 

I’m friggin furious that this happened, cuz you can hypothetically word your links like spambot Clickbait “Click here please!” and not get infracted, but the minute you add in “commission” or “pay/tip/buy” to explain a link, you’re about done. That’s a loophole just begging to be taken advantage of, especially by antis and hostiles.

I want y’all to know about this bcuz I’m scared for y’all. My boyfriend and I only get real foot-traffic on AO3 with our writing. There’s no other main fanfic sites that are as easy to use/popular as AO3. So without our accounts, we’re essentially in a no-traffic zone (or ignored on Tumblr half the time/harassed for our content & prices) trying to ask for help. No dice.

If y’all can let your friends know if they have commissions mentions or Patreon mentions on their fics, they’re in danger of being harassed/deleted if someone decides they don’t like your work/their work & want to have you removed or put on watch. I hate to put such a damper on such an excellent site like AO3, but I have to put my foot down on this one. Years of works, thousands of words & comments and kudos, all deleted out of malicious intent & not genuine infringement. It’s a damn shame.

I got frustrated with uni work and decided to turn it into a Sterek au. Because that is what all the best students do. Obviously. 
Based on a prompt from this list.

“And that’s why it’s positive reinforcement,” Stiles finishes, nodding to himself, because it’s week five and he’s crushing it.

He’d thought this introduction to Psych course might be too hard, the concepts too difficult to grasp, because he’s a graphic design major and science is something he only occasionally encounters on tumblr. And it is hard, in a way, because the course load is insane and he already has assignments out the wazoo. But it’s also extremely logical, for the most part, and learning about human behavior is interesting and the lecture on motivation was a revelation.

Plus, now Stiles knows why Jackson is the way he is.

So, yeah, Stiles likes Psychology, Stiles gets Psychology, and looking around the room it seems that most of the people in his lab would agree.

Except for one.

Sandy Cohen, thusly dubbed for his truly ridiculous eyebrows and not for his rakish charm, is staring at Stiles like he just said Freud was his idol.

“Oh god, what now?” Stiles groans.

The other students follow his line of sight and groan too.

Because Sandy Cohen does this thing, this really fucking annoying thing, where he likes to disagree with absolutely everything Stiles says.

“Nothing,” Sandy Cohen sniffs, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. “You’re just completely wrong, that’s all.”

Stiles gives him a flat look and says nothing. He will not take the bait. He will not lose his cool. He will not give Sandy Cohen the satisfaction of riling him up. Again.

“In this case the Response–Consequence contingency would be negative reinforcement, not positive reinforcement,” he continues.

A few people tilt their heads thoughtfully. Stiles grits his teeth.

“Interesting,” their TA hums, leaning against the tech desk at the front of the room, “why do you say that?”

Stiles refrains from thumping his head against the desk. Barely.

“Well, the stimulus is aversive and it’s being removed, and this results in the behavior increasing in frequency.” Sandy Cohen spreads his hands like the answer is obvious to anyone who isn’t denser than a San Francisco fog. “So it’s negative reinforcement.”

“But the bunny slippers!” Stiles explodes.

God dammit.

“Fuck, here we go,” someone whispers.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you tell us more about why you love moriel? i've never gotten super into them like i have with nessian or feysand, but i want to!!!!!!!! i love them both i just need a lil push in the moriel direction :)

Oh, Nonnie. I don’t think you understand the can of worms and feels you’ve just opened up in the chasm of my Moriel shipping heart. Please, brace yourself.

FYI - THIS POST IS LONG; THERE IS A TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM. If you read only one thing of this insanity of a post, read that because it is the core of my Moriel love despite how ardently I feel the rest before it is important.

I, too, didn’t really ship Moriel at first. My first time reading the book, I didn’t particularly notice it. I’m not really a detail oriented reader to begin with and I was so intensely distracted by Feysand and their junk, that I missed a lot. Not just Moriel stuff. I missed backstory info and details about everyone in the squad.

And then the Nessian bonus chapter sprung up and BAM: a new ship of feels took over.

It wasn’t until I jumped on Tumblr and saw the fandom casually mentioning Moriel that I realized I missed something. Through fandom meta and discussion, I started to ship it, but it was rereading the book that showed me not only does Moriel exist, but it is a magnificent wonderful thing and Sarah has snuck it in to the book EVERYWHERE.

And to be totally uncomfortably honest with you, Moriel is one of the biggest reasons - if not the biggest - that ACOMAF has saved my sanity and my life this year. Here is why:

The Attraction

I’ll start with the simpler stuff, the plain old fact that they have the hots for each other even when they like to pretend to everyone else that they don’t.

Amren was nowhere in sight, but I spotted a golden head at the same moment she spied me, and Mor breezed to my side. She wore a gown of pure white, little more than a slip of silk that showed off her generous curves. Indeed, a glance over her shoulder revealed Azriel staring blatantly at the back view of it, Cassian and the stranger already too deep in conversation to notice what had drawn the spymaster’s attention. For a moment, the ravenous hunger on Azriel’s face made my stomach tighten.

Page 430

“I don’t have any choice but to be ready. I’ll come with you to the camp, then go my way afterward.”

“Cassian will be happy about that,” I said. Even if Azriel was the one trying his best not to stare at her.

Page 431

Ah, Starfall. Of course this is one of the more obvious quotes in the series, the one we see on most of the graphics, but like, I never really stopped to think about it when I first read. Like, truly. Think about this masterpiece.

Az isn’t just ogling. He’s staring at Morrigan like his life depends on it. His body is literally starving for her, he feels that deep of an attraction to her. Who stares at someone like that? Who looks at a woman with such love and desire, they a) can’t turn away, and b) can’t even function?

Like this is Azriel we’re talking about. Morrigan discusses with Feyre at one point that his methods of spying, infiltration, and self-control border on “sadistic” and yet!, he can’t keep himself from looking at her. The man who bathes in blood and torture and secrets for a living can’t stop simple staring at this woman. Azriel, who has “infinite patience” according to Rhys, who sadistically trains himself to be reclusive, reserved, and restrained at all bloody times, wants Morrigan so badly he can’t help but to drink her up when he knows (in his own stupid mind) that he *shouldn’t*.

Like, damn son. That’s intense!

And it’s not a one way street by any means, but I’m not going to talk about Mor’s attraction to Az just yet because I think it’s different than his is and too wrapped up in the drama of the Incident, but more on that later…

Noticing & Protecting

What struck me most rereading was all the subtle bodily movement between these two. Like, take Cassian out of the equation and these two still know how to tango around each other without touching just fine.

There are so many moments - SO MANY MOMENTS - especially in that dinner scene meeting Feyre where we see them cutting off conversations they know will hurt the other or wanting to jump in to touch, to soothe, to caress when those same painful subjects are broached.

And I think it’s more particular to Mor, or at least, it stands out to me with her:

Azriel’s eyes had gone near-vacant as he stared at the wall of windows behind me.

“They’re barbarians,” Amren said, and neither Illyrian male objected. Mor nodded emphatically, even as she noticed Azriel’s posture and bit her lip.

Page 169

She’s worried for him. She’s sees it. They’ve barely even started discussing Illyrian culture and they haven’t even mentioned Azriel’s history and already, Az is brimming with brooding and Mor sees it and i think it terrifies her because she knows what he’s been through. She takes the time to notice Az when maybe no one else quite does and she’s concerned for him.

But it gets worse:

Cassian’s grin grew as he reached around Amren to clap his friend on the shoulder. Azriel sighed - the sound of the longsuffering. The warmest expression I’d seen him make. “A new bastard in the camp - and an untrained shadowsinger to boot. Not to mention he couldn’t even fly thanks to-”

Mor cut in lazily, “Stay on track, Cassian.”

Indeed, any warmth had vanished from Azriel’s face. But I quieted my own curiosity as Cassian again shrugged, not even bothering to take note of the silence that seemed to leak from the shadowsinger. Mor saw, though - even if Azriel didn’t bother to acknowledge her concerned stare, the hand that she kept looking at as if she’d touch, but thought better of it.

Pages 173-174

She just wants to touch him. She just wants to reassure him everything is going to be okay. Cassian is rather lightly discussing probably the most painful formative experience of Azriel’s life and Mor cuts in - not to chide Cass because I don’t think he means any harm, but because she knows the pain it’ll cause to Az.

You know, there are a lot of moments in this book that talk about Cassian being the buffer, trying to protect Azriel from Mor and the broken promise she might be for him. But honestly? Mor has Az’s back just as much as Cassian does. Cassian doesn’t really notice here that Az is hurting and again, I don’t point this out to be mean to Cass because I think there is no ill intent on his part. He simply doesn’t notice. No one does. Except Mor. She makes it a point to notice. There is effort. She’s staring at him. She’s considering his hand. She wants so badly to just comfort him when this the most horrific event in his life (save maybe the Incident) brings all the demons up for him.

AND IT KILLS ME.

AND THIS IS WHERE THE FORBIDDEN LOVE STUFF COMES IN TO THIS SHIP.

Technically, they aren’t forbidden. They could be together, but they both feel they can’t be and the enormity of that weight is unbearable. To want to touch and comfort someone you love so deeply, but you can’t? Because it might make things worse? But you’re still so concerned for them you burn yourself up and decide to think about jumping off the cliff anyway?

Sort of like how Az can’t help but STARE AT HER IN THAT DRESS AT STARFALL?

And it happens again, repeatedly:

“No need,” Rhys said. “And I don’t trust this information, even with your sources, with anyone outside of this room. Save for Amren.”

“They can be trusted,” Azriel said with quiet steel, his scarred hands clenching at his leather-clad sides.

“We’re not taking risks where this is concerned,” Rhys merely said. He held Azriel’s stare, and I could almost hear the silent words Rhys added, It is no judgment or reflection on you, Az. Not at all.

But Azriel yielded no tinge of emotion as he nodded, his hands unfurling.

“So what do you have planned?” Mor cut in - perhaps for Az’s sake.

Page 206

Azriel doesn’t really give much indication after Rhys’s reply that he’s still reeling or feeling slighted, but Mor gives him the reprieve anyway. She directs the conversation in a way that will best address Az’s comfort and needs. And it’s because she knows him. She’s looking out for him. She realizes that Azriel - again, that man who trains so diligently and relentlessly towards perfection - might feel wounded at having his credibility questioned. So she gets him out and away from that moment as much she can in the simplest of ways.

These moments and misdirection in conversation might seem small, but when you consider the gravity of what they’re talking about - Az’s hands burning, his wings being bound and unable to fly, his credibility as a spy questioned (and later on in Mor’s case, her wounds via Eris & Keir) - they aren’t small at all. They’re everything.

But this isn’t even the looking out for Az that Mor does that really kills me. What really kills me - guts me when I think about it - is her watchfulness for him on missions:

Azriel, surprisingly, had returned from the mortal realm by lunch. Mor had intercepted him first, but I’d gotten a secondhand report from Rhys that he’d found some sort of barrier around the queens’ palace, and had needed to return to assess what might be done about it.

Page 293

Azriel continued his attempt to infiltrate their courts - still to no avail. I heard about it mostly from Mor, who always knew when he’d return to the House of Wind, and always made a point to be there the moment he touched down.

Page 376

KILL.

ME.

NOW.

Mor finds Azriel first. Mor attends to Azriel when he comes home. Mor waits for him at the House or wherever he might be. Do you know what this implies??

1) How long is Azriel gone for? Does Mor even know? She probably doesn’t. His missions are top secret, which means, she’s spending who knows how much time waiting for him, making sure she’s home so she’ll not miss him. That’s a lot of time to spend when you think about the gaps of time Az is away spying in this series. But Mor cares enough to wait for him and make sure he’s okay. You would think Az’s first priority would be to find his High Lord and report after a mission, but Mor DGAFs on her own High Lord and goes to Az first to check on him, to make sure he’s okay. She made it a point to be there. That prioritizes Az. That makes him important in her eyes, more important than anything else she might have to do.

2) She is well aware what darkness is waiting for her when Az gets back. Rhys tells Feyre that only Mor gets Az to admit to his feelings on the darkness of his work. There is bound to be some heavy weight on Az when he comes back from a mission, whether it’s physical wounds or mental demons chasing him, it’s gonna be some deep shit and she knows it, but still she goes. Because she loves him. She doesn’t wait for Cassian after a battle. She doesn’t wait for Rhys after a bad day at court. But she waits for Azriel because she knows the darkness winding up in him and she wants to be there to help weather that storm and make sure he’s okay.

I CAN’T EVEN WITH THAT DEVOTION.

And for anyone looking at this thus far thinking baby Az is the one taking all the protection, where is his for Mor? Well let me tell you, he does it too without even having to mention the actual part he played in the Incident:

The Court of Dreams - the dreams of a half-breed High Lord, two bastard warriors, and… the two females. “And you?” I said to Mor and Amren.

Amren merely said, “Rhys offered to make me his Second. No one had ever asked me before, so I said yes, to see what it might be like. I found I enjoyed it.

Mor leaned back in her seat, Azriel now watching every movement she made with subtle, relentless focus.

Page 176

“They were my friends, too. And when I look at you…” She bared her teeth. “I see nothing of those women in you. When I look at you, I know that your ancestors would be ashamed. You laugh at the idea of peace? That we can have it between our peoples?” Mor’s voice cracked, and again Azriel subtly shifted nearer to her, though his faced revealed nothing.

Page 388

Maybe I should have asked Mor to come. But she’d left after dinner pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her. Azriel had taken to the clouds to contact his spies. He’d quietly promised the pacing Cassian to find Mor when he was done.

Page 395

ANON DO YOU SEE THE BEAUTIFUL PARALLELS GOING ON HERE??? THESE TWO ARE SUCH MIRRORS OF EACH OTHER IT IS INSANE.

He watches her. He knows when the conversation might take a turn towards something unfriendly, something painful for her. And then when the conversation does, as with the queens, he moves, almost instinctively. He’s there offering his body and his presence as support. And then just like how Mor waits for Azriel to come back from missions, he promises to go and find her when she is off lost in her own right and catch her from her own horrible darkness, the one that matches his own.

Again, I say: forget Cassian in the buffer equation. These two are circling each other like vultures all on their own, dang it!

The Incident, the Hurt, & All the We Can’t’s

This is where things start to get painful with this ship. And to be honest, I have so many quotes to throw at you, I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just pickup and see where this goes.

For starters, two passages that are seemingly negative on the surface for Mor:

I.

“I want to go dancing. I won’t be able to fall asleep when I’m this full. Rita’s is right up the street.”

Dancing. My body groaned in protest and I glanced about for an ally to shoot down this ridiculous idea.

But Azriel - Azriel said, his eyes wholly on Mor, “I’m in.”

“Of course you are,” Cassian grumbled, frowning at him. “Don’t you have to be off at dawn?”

Mor’s frown now mirrored Cassian’s - as if she realized where and what he’d be doing tomorrow. She said to Azriel, “We don’t have to-”

“I want to,” Azriel said, holding her gaze long enough that Mor dropped it, twisted toward Cassian, and said, “Will you deign to join us, or do you have plans to olge your muscles in the mirror?”

Cassian snorted, looping his elbow through hers and leading her up the street. “I”ll go - for the drinks, you ass. No dancing.”

“Thank the Mother. You nearly shattered my foot the last time you tried.”

It was an effort not to stare at Azriel as he watched them head up the steep street, arm in arm and bickering with every step. The shadows gathered around his shoulders, like they were indeed whispering to him, shielding him, perhaps. His broad chest expanded with a deep breath that sent them skittering, and then he set into an easy, graceful stroll after them.

Page 285

II.

Mor, it seemed, went to Rita’s more than anyone else - practically lived there, actually. She shrugged at Cassian’s demand and another chaise like Amren’s appeared. “I just went… out,” she said, plopping down.

“With whom?” Cassian pushed.

“Last I was aware,” Mor said, leaning back in the chair, “I didn’t take orders from you, Cassian. Or report to you. So where I was, and who I was with, is none of your damn concern.”

“You didn’t tell Azriel, either.”

I paused, weighing those words, Cassian’s stiff shoulders. Yes, there was some tension between him and Mor that resulted in that bickering, but… perhaps… perhaps Cassian accepted the role of buffer not to keep them apart, but to keep the shadowsinger from hurt. From being old news, as I’d called him.

Cassian finally remembered I’d been standing in front of him, noted the look of understanding on my face, and gave me a warning one in return. Fair enough.

[…]

“Why exactly,” Cassian said to Amren and Mor, not even bothering to try to sound pleasant, “are you two ladies here?”

Mor closed her eyes as she tipped back her head, sunning her golden face with the same irreverence that Cassian perhaps sought to shield Azriel from - and Mor herself perhaps tried to shield Azriel from as well.

Pages 302-303

First off, the instantaneous way that Azriel offers to go dancing with Mor when he darn well knows he has to be up in mere hours to go do something brutal and mentally draining for his court just floors me. This kid has got it so bad for her.

And secondly, when he watches Cass and Mor go walking off arm in arm and his shadows constrict and the feeling of agony and longing just becomes so palpable in that passage and ugh AZ LET ME LOVE YOU.

And I think that at first glance it might seem almost cruel the way Az offers to take Mor, but then it’s Cassian she strolls off with much as it seems a bit cruel how she reacts about Az in the second passage, which Cass calls her on. But to be honest, I think both of these passages answer to that and point out why in fact it’s the total opposite.

Essentially, it’s too damn painful. For both of them. She’s not being a tease, she’s protecting - both of them.

For Mor, Az looks her dead in the eye and the narrative implies it’s a prolonged glance, one that is deep enough for Mor to recognize the intensity and connection behind it and grow uncomfortable to the point that she has to physically turn away. There is criticism there to be sure on Mor’s part about not being able to broach this subject of her and Az, of having to let it fall and shy away from it, but then there’s this second passage that answers for it: even Mor is shielding herself from and for Az’s sake just as much as her own.

Once more, never mind Cassian being the buffer. Mor does it plenty on her own and with good reason. She knows it’s painful. She’s knows the risks if she does it and I think her actions are both a) admirable because she loves Az deeply enough she doesn’t want to hurt him, and b) justified because as the following quotes will all show, their history and romance is so mottled and dangerous, you can hardly blame them for feeling like they can’t have one another:

Rhys said with soft wrath, “Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods. Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.”

Page 397

But it was from Azriel that Keir cringed. From the sight of Truth-Teller.

One day, I realized, Azriel would use that blade on Mor’s father. And take a long, long while to carve him up.

Page 411

For Az, what happened to Mor was devastating. I mean, imagine how truly awful it must have been for him to find her body all mangled and dying that even Prythian’s most powerful High Lord said it was ‘all he could do’ to keep Az at bay from killing everyone.

ALL RHYS COULD DO TO HOLD AZ BACK

Nevermind his powers. Nevermind that he’s stronger. Rhys could barely keep a lid on Az. That is the intense level of suffering the Incident brought on. That is what Mor is shielding against. All that pain. All that horror. It’s a bomb waiting to go off and it’s what Mor and Az risk detonating (or they think they risk) if they were to be together.

I mean, look at how Feyre realizes Azriel is going to carve Keir up with his sword. It’s gruesome. He’s going to pay back those wounds he dealt to Mor tenfold because that’s how terrible the Incident was and the consequences it gave the Squad.

I’m not crying YOU’RE crying.

Fighting my nausea, I pasted a sleepy, lust-fogged smile on my face. Right as Azriel returned and gave Rhys a subtle nod. He’d gotten the orb.

Mor slid up to the spymaster, running a proprietary hand over his shoulders, his chest, as she circled to look into his face. Az’s scar-mottled hand wrapped around her bare waist - squeezing once. The confirmation she also needed.

She offered him a little grin that would no doubt spread rumors, and sauntered into the crowd again. Dazzling, distracting, leaving them thinking Az had been here the whole time, leaving them pondering if she’d extend Azriel an invitation to her bed.

Azriel just stared after Mor, distant and bored. I wondered if he was as much of a mess inside as I was.

Page 416

“Rhys came back the next morning, and when he learned what had happened…” She laughed under her breath. “We try not to talk about the Incident. He and Cassian… I’ve never seen them fight like that. Hopefully I never will again. I know Rhys wasn’t pissed about my virginity, but rather the danger that losing it had put me in. Azriel was even angrier about it - though he let Rhys do the walloping. They knew what my family would do for debasing myself with a bastard-born lesser faerie.” She brushed a hand over her abdomen, as if she could feel that nail they’d spiked through it. “They were right.”

“So you and Cassian,” I said, wanting to move on from it, that darkness, “you were never together again after that?”

“No,” Mor said, laughing quietly. “I was desperate, reckless that night. I’d picked him not just for his kindness, but also because I wanted my first time to be with one of the legendary Illyrian warriors. I wanted to lie with the greatest of Illyrian warriors, actually. And I’d taken one look at Cassian and known. After I got what I wanted, after… everything, I didn’t like that it caused a rift with him and Rhys, or even him and Az, so… never again.”

“And you were never with anyone after it?” Not the cold, beautiful shadowsinger who tried so hard not to watch her with longing on his face?

Page 432

This post is already terribly long, so I’ll try not to keep being so longwinded, but like LOOK AT ALL OF THIS.

Mor and Az are “faking” it for the Hewn City? NOPE. That scene was just as much a genuine show of comfort in the face of danger and Mor’s family/history as it was a performance. The tension there is real. The need to touch and comfort there is real. Feyre can see it plain as freaking day.

And then we have Mor talking to Feyre about the Incident and she rubs her stomach as if the scars are still fresh, like she can remember it as yesterday and how it nearly destroyed her family and she wants Az, but knows she can’t risk destroying everything again because this time without the question of her family and virginity at stake, if it fell to pieces, it would be her fault. At least, that’s what I think she thinks. And we know she does want to be with Az, BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS:

I focused on the speck of caramel brown I painted beside Amren’s eyes. “I’m sorry - for all that you endured.”

“Thank you,” she said, coming over to watch me. “Visiting them always leaves me raw.”

“Cassian seemed concerned.” Another prying question.

She shrugged. “Cassian, I think, would also savor the opportunity to shred that entire court to pieces. Starting with my parents. Maybe I’ll let him do it one year as a present. Him and Azriel both. It’d make a perfect solstice gift.”

I asked perhaps a bit too casually. “You told me about the time with Cassian, but did you and Azriel ever…?”

A sharp laugh. “No. Azriel? After that time with Cassian, I swore off any of Rhys’s friends. Azriel’s got no shortage of lovers, though, don’t worry. He’s better at keeping them secret than we are, but… he has them.”

“So if he were ever interested would you…?”

“The issue, actually, wouldn’t be me. It’d be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won’t matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris - he’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.”

“But… are you interested?”

“Why are you asking such things?” Her voice became tight, sharp. More wary than I’d ever heard.

“I’m still trying to figure out how you all work together.”

A snort, that wariness gone. I tried not to look too relieved. “We have five centuries of tangled history for you to sort through. Good luck.”

Indeed. I finished her eyes - honey brown to Amren’s quicksilver. But almost in answer, Mor declared, “Paint Azriel’s. Next to mine. And Cassian’s next to Amren’s.”

I lifted my brows.

Mor gave me an innocent smile. “So we can all watch over you.”

Page 511

I MEAN HELL

THE HESITATION WHEN SHE ADMITS AZ TAKES LOVERS

THE PAIN STRANGLING HER VOICE WHEN FEYRE CUTS OUT THE EXCUSES AND EXPLANATIONS TO ASK HER STRAIGHT UP IF SHE WOULD TAKE HIM IF THERE WERE NO BARRIERS IN THE WAY AND SHE CAN’T HANDLE THE CONFRONTATION BECAUSE SHE THINKS THERE IS TOO MUCH RISK, TOO MUCH TO HURT THEM BOTH

AND SHE KNOWS AZ DOESN’T THINK HE IS WORTHY LIKE SHE TRULY BELIEVES HE WOULDN’T TAKE HER AND I THINK IT HURTS HER TO THINK he WOULD REJECT her JUST AS MUCH AS IT HURTS HIM BELIEVING MOR DOES NOT WANT HIM LIKE THAT

AND THEN SHE STILL ASKS FEYRE TO PUT AZ’S BEAUTIFUL HAZEL EYES NEXT TO HER AND I CAN’T DEAL

AND MY GOODNESS WE HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT THIS:

Mor, on her knees beside Cassian, hurtled for the king with a cry of pure wrath.

He sent a punch of power to her. She dodged, a knife angled in her hand, and -

Azriel cried out in pain.

She froze. Stopped a foot from the throne. Her knife clattered to the floor.

The king rose. “What a mighty queen you are,” he breathed.

And Mor backed away. Step by step.

“What a prize,” the king said, that black gaze devouring her.

Azriel’s head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full of rage and pain as he snarled at the king, “Don’t you touch her.”

Mor looked at Azriel - and there was real fear there. Fear - and something else. She didn’t stop moving until she again kneeled beside him and pressed a hand to his wound. Azriel hissed - but covered her bloody fingers with his own.

Page 603

I know a lot of people have speculated the “something else” Mor shows is a mate bond, but I don’t think so. I think it’s some kind of recognition on her part that she loves Az more than what she knew, that he is more important to her than she has dared allow herself to realize. I think she fully sees in this moment just what losing him would do to her, that she would slaughter them all the same way Az wanted to slaughter everyone for her when the Incident happened. It would undo her entirely. I don’t know if she will let this drive her to confessing her feelings in Book 3, but it’s important all the same.

TL;DR: Darkness & Hope

Okay, these are the last few quotes I swear, but honestly? This is mostly why I love Moriel. Because ^^^all that up top is important, but all this coming up is what makes that stuff real and painful and important to me and the reason I ship them.

“Yes,” Mor said, tossing her long hair over a shoulder, “since swaggering around Velaris-”

“We have company,” was Azriel’s soft warning, wings again spreading a bit as he herded them through the open balcony doors to the dining room. I could have sworn tendrils of darkness swirled in their wake.

Mor patted Azriel on the shoulder as she dodged his outstretched wing. “Relax, Az - no fighting tonight. We promised Rhys.”

The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel’s head dipped a bit - his night-dark hair sliding over his handsome face as if to shield him from that mercilessly beautiful grin.

Page 161

“Cassian helped Rhys get me out. Before either had the real rank to do so. For Rhys, getting caught would have been a mild punishment, perhaps a bit of social shunning. But Cassian… he risked everything to make sure I stayed out of that court. And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court - and outside of it. [SIDENOTE BECAUSE YASSS CASSSSSSS!] Him and Azriel, that is.”

Yes - Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her presence. I opened my mouth to ask about her history with hm, but the clocked chimed ten. Time to go.

Pages 238-239

“Does he mind what he does? Not the spying, I mean. What he did to the Attor today.”

Rhys loosed a breath. “It’s hard to tell with him - and he’d never tell me. I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes even mourn them. But Azriel… Cassian tries, I try - but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit to any sort of feeling is Mor. And that’s only when she’s pestered him to the point where even his infinite patience has run out.”

Page 288

For me, Moriel is about hope and salvation.

I adore Azriel because of his shadows. He makes me feel validated and normal as a human being. I look at Azriel and I see someone who went to a really dark and tragic place, but he took those shadows and twisted them to his will and found a way to live through it. This is why if Az dies in the final book, I’ll be gutted. He’s the one telling me I’m okay as I am, demons and all, that it’s okay I feel the way I do every day, like I’m drowning in hurt sometimes so far in the darkness I can’t see out.

I love Morrigan because she is hopeful. She inspires me to persevere, to treat myself with self-respect and take care of myself, same as she tells Feyre. It might sound dumb, but I tell myself every day, “Morrigan would want you to floss your teeth,” or “Morrigan would want you to be happy today.” The number of times I’ve meditated on “Don’t let the hard days win?” Psh. Forget it. I’ve lost count. She is this hopeful optimism and sunlight that is missing a lot of days in my life.

Now, put the two together. MORIEL: the validation that you are acceptable on your own, but there are brighter days to fight for ahead.

Az never stopped hoping. He could have given up easily. He could have let himself fade and die, but he didn’t. Even before Mor, he didn’t. But After Mor? He came alive. He found a reason to not just meander through life aimlessly, but to actually live it and try. That touches me. That’s effing exquisite in my eyes - to know that these two people despite all the odds and risks can love each other deeply, passionately, irrevocably and still maintain the balance of their lives together and apart, always encouraging one another and lifting each other up in the best ways - that means the bloody world to me.

And that is why I ship Moriel.

xx

Boyfriend Tag ft. the grump (A.K.A the bf A.A.K.A Derek Hale)

This is a very short very shitty continuation for the ‘Sterek - Youtuber AU’ I wrote as a meme fill because Takkun asked for a continuation and what Takkun wants, Takkun gets~

 -○-

“When did you realize your boyfriend was the one?”

“I don’t know,” Derek says, “When it occurred to me that I actually missed him when he wasn’t around to annoy me.”

“Oh, be still my heart,” Stiles clutches his chest, batting his eyelashes as he looks up at Derek from where he’s leaning against his side. “You do care.”

Obviously I wouldn’t have agreed to make this stupid video if I didn’t.”

Stiles smirks at him, then faces the camera and says, “When his smile started having the same effect on me as his ass.”

Derek shoves a pillow in his face, Stiles merely cackles.

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