there was actually going to be four of these

WHAT

EXCUSE ME?

“Goodbye… Edward… Elric.”

Wow.

Envy killed themselves because they were so utterly humiliated and shamed that Edward saw right through them. That’s actually way better than being burnt alive!

Well, technically, Envy was burnt alive plenty of times. A satisfying amount of times. But still!

Hope there’s a special place reserved for you in Hell, you deplorable sack of shit.

Four down, three to go.

BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE, LADS! PARTY TIME! YEAAAAHHHH!

I just had an interesting thing happen to me at work...

This family with like four kids came into my store and shopped around for like a half hour, but the youngest daughter who was like 6 years old started going on and on to me about panda bears. 

After like 10 minutes of pandas and giving me directions to the zoo, I decided to go back to the counter and draw her a little panda on a sticky note. Well, after she got done showing everyone in the store that I drew something for her, she told me his name was Samurai Jack.

I paused. Surely I did not hear a 6 year old child say Samurai Jack, did I? So I said, “Oh his name’s Jack the Panda?”

And she was very clear to me that, “no, his name is Samurai Jack and he’s in love with a girl ninja named Ashi.”

So now I’m like OMG, your parents are letting you watch the new Samurai Jack on Adult Swim!? What is even happening right now. Like… she started telling me all about Aku and Jack and Ashi, and was very adamant that they were in love and Aku turned Ashi evil. She threw in some Michaelangelo and TMNT… this kid was awesome!

So… I decided to draw her more doodles of Aku and made her some paperdolls shaped like Jack and some other crafty stuff for her siblings too (because crafts are more fun that retail work) and they just sort of roamed around with bags of my doodles and papercrafts until their parents got done shopping for clothes. 

It was definitely a twist to how I thought a conversation with a 6 year old would go. I have my faith in humanity restored thanks to this nice family and their awesome kids, especially that little 6 year old girl who is in love with Jashi.

anonymous asked:

ok so cockles is creeping into my brain recently, but i've never read any fic. anything you suggest?

Man, cockles will creep up on you just when you least expect it. Those bastards will always inevitably get to you, idk how they do it.
I actually don’t read a whole lot of cockles fic tbh, but when I do it’s usually something @deancasheadcanons has written. So I would definitely suggest going thru her fic tag to find her cockles stuff. She even wrote three different fics based just on the stuff that happened at jib this last weekend, which is amazing:

  1. Four Bedrooms
  2. anon ask ficlet
  3. Ethika

Madd is also the one who wrote The Sex Tape, which is a pretty well known fic in the cockles fandom. And you can find all her cockles works on ao3 here. She’s also currently working on a longer cockles fic called When Harry Met Sally :))

Other than that, C is for Cockles is another ficlet I enjoyed. And then there are a couple lengthy cockles fics that I know of but haven’t actually read called Angel Slayer and Misha’s Not In Vancouver Anymore. I can’t vouch for these two, bc like I said, I haven’t actually read them. I tend to prefer rpf fics in smaller doses as opposed to the lengthy destiel fics I like to read. 

I hope that helps get you started! xx

So, the last test was a failure. A total and completely a failure. My position this time was literally more than 100 times worse than the last two before this one. Literally. My points were like 15% less. 

I’m frustrated, sad and totally depressed. I should be studying, of course I should be studying bc i have a fucking test in four days and what i’m doing? Not fucking studying. 

I still have no idea how i’m going to remember al that stuff and i can’t even care now. I’m that depressed. I can’t even care.

I can’t smoke? Don’t care. I failed? Don’t care. Should I watch Legally Blond again bc it makes me better? Who cares? Not me. Do I actually think that at least Legally Blond can help me right now? Don’t know, don’t care. 

Could I go relief my hate on twitter? I could. Will I? I won’t. 

Bc I just don’t care

That’s the fucking problem

I just don’t, I just can’t care right now

mmm authority figures in school actually used to punish me for my asthma a lot… I would get snapped at a lot for coughing cause they thought I was faking it to get out of things, or trying to be disruptive on purpose.

turns out, when you get bad grades, anything you do can be used as justification to harm you!!! because anything you do that isn’t schoolwork (bathing, sleeping, having asthma attacks, going to the grocery store, visiting yer dad) is evidence that you’re bad at school on purpose!!!!!

I was too scared to get a rescue inhaler until I was TWENTY FOUR, because I was terrified the doctor would tell me I didn’t need one and I should stop being lazy

uncagethecolors  asked:

hey, how was it? did you see matthew? was it good? I'm sorry, you don't know me, but I was very excited for you hahah I hope you had a good time, really <3

AAAH you’re so sweet!!! Thanks for asking! I DID! I actually met him!!! He was so sweet and it was all just one big coincidence! I was going to pick up my ticket at the theatre prior to the show and my friends and I just saw him leave so we followed him to a restaurant he had lunch at lol! We waited for him in front of the theatre and he stopped for pics for us; so sweet! After the performance he even wished the four of us a good night cos his car stopped right where were standing!!! I still can’t believe it – he was so nice! :’)))))

My pic:

https://twitter.com/ccmpx3/status/867486030861041665

anonymous asked:

POST TTV! No pressure, obviously. It's just built so high, I've been refreshing your tumblr on an hourly basis when I know you won't even be posting anything anyway. I dunno how you pull people into your worlds so easily, it's actually incredible. I can't believe you don't have publishers chasing you down constantly. And you do this part-time. I'm in awe of you. We need to get some Tigress merch going I swear...

Aw, thanks so much! Smiling like a loon here :-P. That’s so sweet. I’ve actually considering putting “Resistance” on hold another few weeks to finish TTV. I really think there are only three chapters left to write (so four total to post), and I am finding it harder and harder to balance doing multiple WIPs at once. I used to do it all the time, but for some reason, it’s not so easy anymore!

So we’ll see :-). If life could just settle down, I’d have more time!

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

study tips

that will also help u in life 💖💖

  1.  if you don’t understand a concept, LEARN IT. do not leave it till the last minute because you will panic. instead of going straight to your teacher, try to figure it out by yourself (watch youtube videos, search it up on google) and then clarify with them. i always feel a 100x better when i work something out by myself.
  2. don’t expect to be spoon-fed things at school. chances are, if you have a shitty teacher, you’re not learning anything. instead of complaining about it, take things into your own hands. your education, your responsibility. 
  3. self-learning/teaching is possible. i’ve taught myself everything for the past three years because my school has terrible teachers (will make a post on this later).
  4. you’re not going to get better at studying if you spend 90% of your time on studyblr without actually studying.
  5. you don’t need a macbook pro or any of the other expensive things you see on here. at all.
  6. pretty notes aren’t going to help you unless you actually understand what you’re writing. 
  7. if bullet journalling becomes more of a chore rather than something u enjoy, drop it. it’s not going to help your productivity or mental health.
  8. study YOUR way. who cares if you see a post telling u that you shouldn’t study while listening to music. if you know that studying with music helps you, listen to that shit.
  9. studying shouldn’t be a competition. you have to go at your pace or you won’t learn anything. it doesn’t matter if you have friends that are fast learners, you need to find your own pace.
  10. sometimes having an ‘all or nothing’ mentality doesn’t help. sometimes you can’t concentrate for four hours straight to finish that physics assignment. take breaks, do it over the course of a week. as long as you get it done, you’re good.
  11. use your free periods at school to actually get work done. if you know that you get distracted when you study with friends, go to the library and work by yourself
  12. it’s good to treat yourself but treating yourself with an hour break after five minutes of study is probably not going to help your productivity.
  13. everything is about mindset. that assignment you don’t want to finish because you’re too lazy to, just DO it. literally get up and finish it. you’ll be over and done with it.
  14.  it might seem like everyone on studyblr has their life together but 99% of the time that’s not the case at all so don’t compare yourself or your progress to other people.

i hope these helped and i will be making these rant-y kind of posts every friday (even tho today is not friday) so stay tuned for more! :)

request something / ask me anything
other posts

[ 24 april ]

i cant wait for dnp to get married and make a golden future for themselves just… lying in bed wrapped in soft blankets and love warmer than anything listening to quiet music and watching the clouds move by their window bc they have to be floating at this point..

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
Ended a lucrative business relationship because of an incompetent, racist owner.

This happened over the course of the last week.

I hired a company to correct a big sinkage in my basement. They come in and drill holes and spray industrial foam under the flooring to level it. About a week ago they sent a guy over to locate all of the pipes and scope them for damage.

Then about 3 days ago the foam guys show up and get to work. About halfway through they stop and call me into the basement. There’s water running along my baseboards and they’re afraid they’ve hit a pipe.

They call the owner of the scoping company to come over and re-scope the pipes. He does and finds massive corrosion running all through it. I ask him why they didn’t find that on the first scope, and he tell me they weren’t looking for damage they were just locating the pipe. This makes no sense to me as you don’t need to put a camera into a pipe to locate the pipe.

Then he gives me the sales pitch. It’s going to cost between $4000 and $6000 to fix it, but he can get a “crew of cheap Mexicans” out there who “don’t pull permits” and can do it for much less. He says plumbers will rip you off, he used to be a plumber. I ask, “Oh, and you ripped people off?” I tell him no thanks on the labor, I’ll call my basement company back and let them deal with it.

During the course of the conversation with the scoping company owner he tells me they do about 100 of these a week for the basement company. Scoping is $99, cleaning is $125. At least $10,000 a week, probably $500,000 a year they make from the foam guys.

So here’s the rub. When things started to go pear shaped, I do what I used to do back in college when I had to have conversations with police. Put my phone in my shirt pocket and started to record. (No wiretapping laws in my state.) That’s right. I’ve got this guy soliciting illegal labor to me in full living digital color.

The next day, the basement company sends out some licensed and bonded plumbers to fix my pipes for $0 because of the failure to locate the pipes. That’s right, the scoping company marked the pipe FOUR FEET away from where it actually was. The scoping company not only didn’t find any damage, they didn’t even find the pipe. They did literally nothing. The basement plumbers do an excellent, professional job. They bill the scoping company for their time.

This morning the foam guys came back to finish the job and I tell them about the sleaze ball that they’ve contracted. I play the audio for them of the guy trying to sell me on “cheap Mexican” illegal labor. Half of the foam crew is Hispanic men. They are NOT pleased.

The white crew chief tells me, “We are never doing business with that company ever again. I’m calling our owner right now.” He also read me the contract that they had with the scoping company that explicitly says they are to look for damaged pipes, vindicating me once more.

Someone’s YA Dystopian Future novel is going to feature one character being a natural leader and then revealing:

“I was at the Fyre Festival in 2017.”

The whole camp went quiet, with the exception of Daran, who swore softly. Chelsea looked like she was about to cry; Pete laughed softly with disbelief. “You were at the Fyre Festival?”

Craig nodded slowly, his gaze not leaving the flames in front of him. “One of the first ones in. One of the last ones out.”

Susan furrowed her brow, trying to piece the words together. Would it be inappropriate to ask him? Was it a religious thing? A massacre?

“What’s a Fire Festival?” The question slipped from her lips before she could help it, and suddenly all eyes were on her–all except Craig’s. The fire still flickered inside them.

“There was just one. The Fyre Festival, with a ‘y’. They thought it was clever.” He sighed, stroked his beard, and shifted a little before continuing. “It was supposed to be a simple weekend in the Bahamas. Me and a bunch of other rich kids packed our clothes, gathered our things, and took a plane down south. Everything was going smoothly…but when we hit the first landing strip, that’s when we started to realize that something had gone awry. Instead of seeing a private beach in front of us, we saw a crowded tourist trap. We were promised private jets, fancy boats, the full VIP experience…” His eyes flicked up to her, and though his mouth curved up in a smile, the eyes did not share in it. “But none of that was anywhere to be seen. We thought it would be fine, all we had to do was get our things, make sure they were together, and they’d lead us to the hotel, but…it was already growing dark, and that’s when the luggage arrived. Unloaded from one of those giant storage containers, the big ones, like you see on the docks. Just tossed out to the crowd, one after another. No conveyer belts, no lockers, no express deliveries to the rooms…and it was when I finally got my bag, with a dented crease along the side, like it had been resting under someone’s golf clubs, that I realized: everything had gone wrong.

“Anyway, I’m standing there with this bag, and it occurs to me how hungry I am, so I start looking for the restaurant. I was young, and foolish…fortunately, Gabe was young and foolish, too, so we both headed off to find the restaurant, thinking it would be there.”

His smile widened, showing those teeth again. “There was no restaurant. They fed us sandwiches–small, flat, flimsy sandwiches, with that bread you see on a gas station shelf, and some meat they said was ham. A single wilted piece of lettuce and a piece of rubbery cheese were the condiments, if you could call them that…Gabe said he saw someone with a ketchup packet. I didn’t believe him. Served in a white styrofoam box.

“Anyway, this would be regal fare to us today, but back then, to us, it might as well have been cow dung. I saw three people vomiting their food right back out; the girl next to me saw the same thing, and she became number four. I don’t know how many of us managed to actually choke our way through the meal, or how many of us actually made it back to go onto the plane, but I do know this: there were two thousand of us left in that village when the last boat left the island. Two thousand of us left to fend for ourselves. 

“When the sun rose the next day, we were one thousand nine hundred and ninety four. Four of us were missing; two were dead. It was then that I realized that this was going to be a live-or-die situation. I chose to live.”


I would continue with this but it is late and I needed sleep an hour ago.

unamedwatcher  asked:

Did you really convince little Steve Rogers that the fireworks on the fourth of July were for his birthday?

actually no. 

that was the handiwork of one mrs sara rogers, who used to take her little asthmatic arrhythmic tiny baby son on the roof to watch the fireworks on his birthday. (mostly so that they didnt have to be in the apartment with steves dad, who had shellshock which he medicated with waaaay too much alcohol, and he was always worse on the fourth, since it sounded like there were explosions going off everywhere. steves dad died when he was three, and my ma said once that mrs rogers might have missed him, but she didnt miss the bruises he left.)

 as it happened, that was how i first met steve–on the roof of the building when i was four and he was turning one. i actually remember it, which is pretty incredible considering how old i was and how swiss-cheese my brain is. but there was mrs sara, with her tiny little baby on her hip. i’d never seen anybody so fair-skinned and blonde as mrs sara and stevie, and the lights off the fireworks painted them all sorts of colors. most of the other little kids were crying and had to be brought inside because the noise scared them, but not baby stevie–he was reaching his little bitty baby hands up, trying to grab the sparkly fireworks. probably the noise didnt bother him because he was partially deaf, but mrs sara always insisted that it was just that he had more courage than could fit inside him. 

generally, she also mentioned that all that courage had taken up the space where his common sense was supposed to be. 

when steve was three, he said his favorite color was america–by which he meant red, white, and blue, because that was the colors for his birthday, and everyone always celebrated with him.

even after mrs sara died, us barneses kept up the fireworks story, and i passed it on to the howlies eventually. 

i dont know how old steve was when he figured out that the whole city wasnt just throwing him a huge birthday celebration, but im sure that if you asked him, he’d still insist the fireworks were for him.

whatever PR schmuck decided to name him captain america probably had no idea how accurate a name it was. 

so playing andromeda and drawing kaleans got me thinkin’ on another minor complaint i have about ME and it’s this:

dang they can’t figure out how to make digitigrade legs work on a humanoid character and they end up adding extra joints to the legs to try to make it make sense

like i watched the animation cycle of that angara working out at the resistance camp and when he started doing crunches and his legs made an M shape i was just like smdh

i mean i think they handle it better with the angara since they have those weird little hand-feet (angara are so cute i cannot stand it) but the worst offender is probably the salarians

anyway i love the concept of humanoids with digitigrade legs so here’s some notes about it. it’s not beautifully formatted or anything but maybe it’s helpful!

basically the main thing to get out of your mind is that you’re not going for “backwards knees.” i am sure backwards knees could work and would be an interesting design, but it’s gonna change how this character moves and sits, it’s gonna affect the character’s center-of-gravity, it’s gonna be a much bigger overhaul of the anatomy than creating a digitigrade leg requires.

when you’re thinking of a digitigrade leg as having backwards knees, it’s probably because the joint you’re thinking of as the knee is actually the ankle

both plantigrade and digitigrade legs will have four major points of articulation:
the hip
the knee
the ankle
the toes

and a digitigrade leg isn’t a plantigrade leg backwards, but on its tiptoes:

that’s basically all you gotta do! then you exaggerate the effects by changing the proportions of the leg, starting with making the knee-ankle length shorter, and the ankle-toe length longer.

the benefit of drawing digitigrade characters like this is that they can sit in chairs without looking ridiculous!

and finally, if your character doesn’t have paws or hooves or talons, they probably want to wear shoes! hell, even if they do they still might wear shoes. the ground is nasty! think this through and let it be another cool design opportunity. a good place to start if you’re stuck is looking at wedge heels, then drawing them without the heel!

aaaand here’s some aliens

now get outta here and draw some weird-ass legs aight

  • Umbridge: In the meantime, Potter, you’re suspended from playing Quidditch. I’m going to need you to hand over your Firebolt.
  • Harry: All right fine, you can have my Firebolt, but we’re doing it in your office so I can slam it down on your desk and yell out, “The system stinks!”.
  • Umbridge: Actually, the procedure is to bring your Firebolt down to the equipment room on the second floor, fill out form four-five-two-underscore-J, hand said form to Mr. Filch, and then receive a claim check through owl post.
  • Harry: Oh.
  • Harry: The system stinks!
Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
Cheap Thrills (reader x Bucky Oneshot)

Characters: reader, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Tony, Bucky, OC Mark. 

Summary: A bet within the Avengers becomes a battle of the sexes, with you at the center of it. Who will be victorious and could it somehow help you snag the man of your dreams? 

Song Inspiration: Cheap Thrills by Sia

Warnings: drinking, sexist behavior? Mild violence mentioned, very subtle mention of sexy times. 

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: This was supposed to be a short one, but eh. I’ve been living in the land of heavy angst with You are My Heaven and intense stress in my real life so when this fun, fluffy idea popped up, I ran with it. I’m working on a lot of other stuff so be patient, please! As always, I appreciate your feedback. Love each and every one of you!! 

Masterlist

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Originally posted by luvinchris

“Uh uh. No way.”

“It’s true, trust me.”

“You wanna bet?” Clint challenged the redhead across the table from him.

Natasha leaned forward and held his gaze, not an ounce of doubt in her demeanor. “Absolutely.”

It was too early in the morning for this childish banter, you thought from your seated position at the far end of the long kitchen table. You slumped forward, dipping the tea bag in and out of the steaming mug of liquid before you, then setting it on the small saucer beside it. Wrapping your hands around the cup’s warmth, your eyes unfocused as you continued to tune out the blathering of your teammates. The only other person in the room paying them no mind was Bucky, who was slouched in a cozy chair, thoroughly engrossed in a book.

“Now wait a minute,” a third voice joined the argument, “If we’re gonna do this, we gotta level the playing field a little. Nat could do this in her sleep. We need someone a little more…down to earth. How about Y/N?” Sam gestured toward you.

Blinking a few times, you finally broke out of your stupor. “Hey! I was only half listening to your stupidity, but I think I’m offended.”

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shades of wrong (m)

Summary: In which you’re sure you’ll hate Park Jimin with every fiber of your being for the rest of your existence, even after he is assigned your tutor for History of Magic.
Pairing: Jimin | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Smut; Harry Potter AU 
Word Count: 17,321
Author’s Note: This got insanely long, and I apologize but also not really. Inspired by @jeonbegins + her really dope HP Slytherin Jimin AU edit. I also had a little conversation with @minsvga about this and she helped me figured out the basic idea for what this story has become; and @chokemejimin has asked to be tagged in my HP work so here you go my dear!!!

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No matter how hard you try, it seems as if you are always bested by Park Jimin in every aspect of life: from Quidditch to school to class popularity.

And you absolutely despise him for it.

Granted, it’s probably because he’s always simply excelled in everything while you could only manage the minimum requirement for things outside of the sport you’ve grown to be so passionate about—but that’s only deepened your dislike for the boy. It’s been like this since the pair of you were children, a rivalry already planted between you even before you knew what the term meant. Truthfully, it was pretty much written in the stars that you would develop some deep-rooted grudge against Jimin, for he was organized into Slytherin while you were put in the fiery red and gold of Gryffindor.

Beyond the clashing Houses that have officially formed your backgrounds, it doesn’t help that the boy has seemed to uphold a particular interest in doing whatever he could to see you fidget or watch you squirm or just catch you at your worst moments—although you humor yourself on the idea that these unfortunate incidents occur to you because of Park Jimin’s constant hovering. It’s a habit that’s grown since the first week of your admission into Hogwarts, in which your big mouth scored you your first detention with the infamous Professor Snape.

It’s a moment that marks the beginning of an unspoken battle between the pair of you—in which you would constantly attempt to prove yourself better than Park Jimin and Park Jimin doing everything he could to make sure you could never have that victory. During the first two years of school, this would mean beating you on every exam, knowing the answers to every question and teasing you for not knowing. Professors putting Jimin on a pedestal, marking him up as the ‘ideal student’ and unknowingly intensifying the dagger of hatred you wished to plunge deeper and deeper into his chest.

When you are twelve, you are told that there is certainly no way for you to truly despise of something (or someone)—for you are young and naive and not entirely capable to understand what it means to hate something with every fiber of your being.

But they’re wrong.

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