there was a cat outside my river house and we got it to love us

Songs Forgotten and Remembered; Chapter One: Antebellum (Prologue)

Also available on AO3.

Cataline Cousland is just done.

Her entire life, she has been the responsible one, the calm one, the level-headed one. Now, following the murder of her parents, her entire life has been thrown into disarray and old regrets of paths not taken begin to resurface as she faces her new reality. When one of those regrets shows up in Denerim after a ten year absence, Cat has to come to terms not only with what she has been unable to leave behind, but with what she wants for her own future.

For a moment, she forgot how to breathe, and her eyes met his. Despite the easy tenor in his voice, his eyes were dark with an expression that Cataline suspected she recognized, but was too afraid to name.

I know, the border lines we drew between us
Keep the weapons down, keep the wounded safe
I know, our antebellum innocence was
Never meant to see the light of our armistice day.

 -“Antebellum” by Vienna Teng

22 Drakonis, 9:21 Dragon

Spring always came slowly to Highever. Even when the trees stubbornly began to bud and the first insistent blooms would peek their heads out of the ground, the air maintained a chill and the rivers ran cold. Yet somehow, it was still one of Cataline Cousland’s favorite times of the year. There was so much potential in the world in the spring, and she loved seeing the color return to the land after the long dark sleep of winter. It also meant the spring holiday away from school, which she had been looking forward to more than usual this year.

This year, her father’s best friend from childhood, Rendon Howe, and his family were visiting from Amaranthine. Cat had felt a bit guilty for being so excited: she knew her mother was always uncomfortable when the Howes came to visit, and Thomas Howe was downright antagonistic to poor Thea, but her heart had still skipped a beat when her dad had told them. Delilah, the middle daughter who at eleven was the same age as Cat, was nice enough, but it was Nathaniel that she had really been looking forward to seeing.

They were all outside at the moment. Cat and Delilah were working on a jigsaw puzzle and trying to ignore Thomas, who was doing his best to steal her attention away. He had already seen his tenth birthday earlier that year and had developed an unfortunately aggressive nature towards Cat. The fact that she had tried to gently dissuade his attention was completely lost on him. Nathaniel, on the other hand, barely seemed to acknowledge her existence. He had turned thirteen the previous fall, and already saw himself as being too old to hang around with the “children.” The only exception seemed to be little Theadosia, who Nathaniel still didn’t pay much mind to, but he also didn’t roll his eyes at her quite as much as he did his younger siblings.

Her cousin was the youngest of them all. She would be celebrating her ninth birthday tomorrow, but her precocious nature meant that she tended to interact more comfortably with adults than with her peers. Thea had come to live with Bryce and Eleanor Cousland almost a year ago, though Cat had never really been told the reason why. Her parents had patiently explained that it was because the private school Cat attended would offer Thea more opportunities, and wasn’t she excited to have another girl in the house? She had been, actually; she and Thea were more sisters than cousins, but she’d also always suspected there was more to it than what she had been told.

At the moment, Thea was sitting quietly in a lawn chair watching Nathaniel as he sent practice arrows at the target Bryce had set up for him as a concession for the older boy having to spend his spring break in the country instead of the city. No, Cat corrected herself, not watching Nathaniel. Watching the bow. Thea was a curious child, and constantly picking up new skills. Cat was the one whose gaze kept drifting towards Nathaniel himself.

“Come on, Cat,” Thomas wheedled beside her. “Let’s go do something fun.”

“I am having fun, Tommy,” Cat gestured to the puzzle that she and Delilah were working on. “Do you want to help us work on this?”

He snorted derisively. “Looks boring as shit.”

“Tommy!” Delilah gasped. “Don’t let father her you hear you say that.”

“Yeah, right, ‘cause he cares what I say. You know he’ll let me do whatever I want,” he taunted. He tried to grab Cat’s wrist, but she jerked it away.

“I said no, Thomas.”

“I’ll tell my dad and he’ll make you play with me.”

Cat groaned internally. “I don’t think my dad would let him.”

“Says you.”

“Exactly. And I believe she said you can go away.” a cool voice came from behind him, and Cat looked around to see Theadosia standing on the deck, her little arms crossed and a glare in her storm blue eyes. In true Thea fashion, her feet were bare and slightly dirty from running around wild, but if anything it only made her look more fierce, as did the strands of auburn hair that had come loose from her braid and were sticking out at odd angles. Cat sighed. She knew Thea’s temper, and if she got involved, it wasn’t going to end well.

“It’s ok, Thea,” she tried to soothe her cousin, “I can handle it.”

“Yeah, back off orphan,” Thomas sneered at her and, before either girl could react, gave Cataline a hard pinch on the arm.

“Hey,” she shrieked. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Nathaniel set his bow on the ground and stalk towards his brother, but by the time he reached them it was too late.

Because Thea had already decked Thomas on the nose.

Keep reading



Finally i was able to finish translating this interview. It is officially my first translation ^_^ . I did the translation from Japanese to Greek and then from Greek to English so i apologize for any grammatical errors!

Enjoy but please do not re post  without asking for my permission first ok? In this interview Hitsugi talks about three topics : Alcohol,Tattoos/Piercings and Animals……


Hitsugi-Kun do you like drinking alcohol or do you enjoy hanging out drinking with friends?

I wonder if someone drinks alone, does that mean that he likes alcohol itself? If that’s the case then it’s the first one*(laughs). Generally i also drink when i am home alone . The other day,3-4 days ago, within six months i didn’t drink for about a day,usually i drink every day. That day,that i didn’t drink, i noticed that i felt strange.

* He means that he likes drinking alcohol in general with or without his friends

And what was that thing that you noticed?

If i described it to you, you would think i’m trash but (laughs) when i’m home alone and  in my body there is no alcohol, i feel something unusual. That doesn’t mean that i’m not satisfied or that i want to drink no matter what but i feel like “something” today is different than usual. Last year during summer i was injured and i shouldn’t drink alcohol for about 3 weeks but when i started drinking(again) i had this feeling. (bitter smile)

For Hitsugi-Kun drinking alcohol is  something normal, it has become a habit, right?

Something like that, if i decide to keep on drinking i guess that wouldn’t be good for my body(for my health) and i would also make people worry for my condition if it’s ok. But i do not have any pathological problem to worry. Because i drink every day that does not mean that every day i drink that much(laughs). It is not always like this, lately  or should i say this year i thought that i should be careful. In other words, the other day was the first test to give a one day rest to my liver(laughs).

For Hitsugi-Kun in which situation drinking is more enjoyable?

When i drink with friends, during tour  with the other members of the group, with staff, although i already like alcohol the best of all is when i drink after the last concert of the tour. when i drink after being relieved is like a reward , i like that very much.


For  Hitsugi-Kun, which one  was first? (tattoos or piercings)

Piercings. I did my first one when i was 15. When i started high school because a lot of people around me did it i thought “i want to try it too ” and that was the beginning. But everybody first pierce their ear right? That’s why i pierced my mouth. I did it myself during a class lesson.

That is a very shocking confession.

At that moment with a friend of mine who was sitting at the back seat we said “ lets do a mouth piercing”. The conversation was like “whoever does the piercing first, wins ” and so we did.During the lesson having an eraser in our mouths and with  a safety pin we did the piercing(laughs). It was sort of  a test to try out our strength and courage. At that challenge i was the winner. But no one should try to imitate such thing. if you want a piercing please you should definitely go to a professional.  

However Hitsugi-Kun you have a lot of piercings.

The number of piercings increased  at once since Nightmare begun. Because at that time on the one hand i had no confidence with my looks (my face) and on the other hand i wanted my existence to be unique among other bands. Since then i thought to give emphasis on piercings and on makeup.

And when did you start getting tattoos?

Because when i did the piercings my parents were very angry (laughs) i decided that regarding tattoos, i wouldn’t get one unless i got their permission first. That’s why i got them when Nightmare became major after we did the first concert. Then i convinced my parents and the first tattoo i  got was a dragon on my shoulder. I wanted to get a dragon that would look like rising up. After that the number of tattoos increased. *But i have decided that i do not want to be provocative especially during important family ceremonies so i will not get tattoos that are visible. You might think that this is not very cool(laughs) but  i want to keep that promise.

* “important family ceremonies” like weddings or funerals he doesn’t want to have any visible tattoos because that would be rude.


Since you used to put a tail on your clothes Hitsugi-Kun you love animals right?

Yes i love them very much. I have tattooed the names of Cocoa and zela (Hitsugi’s dogs).I also like cats  although i don’t have any. When i was little i used to have a bunny as well. When i was a kid i also used to  like insects. I used to catch crickets, beetles,i also used to catch a lot of spiders.I had found Jorogumo spiders. I had put them inside a cage for insects and they made a nest, it was small so i guess it was squeezy in there. One day i opened the cage and i was surprised to see that it was covered in white with web. I couldn’t figure out if the spiders were in or out of the cage (laughs).

And what happened to those spiders?

I left them outside the house. My mother did not want them. Besides insects i also used to bring back home lizards, frog eggs. I used to put the frog eggs inside a bucket and i was happy when they became tadpoles. When the tadpoles started to multiply i would throw them back to the river. And then it was also this! i used to have that snake that is a little bit poisonous and it is called “Yamakagashi” .

And about that snake your mother typically said….

There was no way to keep it. She was furious (laughs). I expressed my desire “I want to keep it” and i put it in a bigger cage for insects, it didn’t have a name. I just called it snake.I don’t know why but this as well, one day run away. I woke up in the morning and the top of the cage was destroyed from inside. Although i looked for it , it was nowhere. I couldn’t tell my parents that the snake had run away, so i told them that i had left it in the mountains. Since then, this snake was never found. Maybe it has become a huge snake now, under the floor of my parents house, protecting the house(laughs).

The Wedding

Something felt different about Calvin and Taylor’s relationship. From day one, they knew it. Taylor was so happy that it made everyone a little happier as well. The way they acted around each other was similar to best friends, always goofing around, making jokes and laughing at each other. They respected each other and they loved each other. They didn’t know it would be like this. It was so unexpected. Taylor hadn’t dated anyone in over two years and had said multiple times she didn’t need anyone in her life like that but then they met at the Brits and instantly clicked. She was nervous, for sure and so was he. They started talking and all their friends noticed their stupid smiles, every time there was a text message alert or when they called each other. Karlie had noticed it first since she was with Taylor at the Brits, the whole way back to the hotel, Taylor would try to stop herself from smiling, failing miserably of course. Karlie was happy for her, they hit off really well and Karlie was glad she had agreed to go on a date with him. The date turned into more dates and the dates turned into a relationship. Taylor didn’t think it would work because of their busy schedules as she was about to go on her world tour and he had a residency in Vegas but somehow it worked, they Facetimed everyday and saw each other in any break they had in between shows. Their relationship was going amazing and everyone saw how clearly happy they were with each other. And when they told everyone they were engaged, they were extremely happy. The world had been happy for them too, Taylor’s fans were ecstatic. Anyone who looked at them knew they would end up together.

And as the wedding day rolled around, everyone was busy with something. Either it was last minute dress fittings or setting everything in motions as the big day came closer and closer. Taylor didn’t want anything too big. Nothing extravagant. She wanted a simple wedding. They invited all their friends and flew their families to Rhode Island, where the wedding would happen. The wedding would be held at Taylor’s mansion. They had been planning the wedding for about a month, juggling everything so their wedding day would be perfect.

Taylor was sitting in her room in the morning. It was eight am and the wedding would be in a two hours. She was marrying the man she loved. The man who made her believe in love again and who stood by her side through anything. The smile wouldn’t leave her face as she sat on the bed, waiting for her bridesmaids, Selena, Martha, Jaime and Abigail and Karlie, her maid of honor. The decision of who the maid of honor should be was quite difficult but Taylor settled for Karlie, who was super excited. She would’ve made all her friends bridesmaids if she could. The girls had thrown Taylor a Bachelorette party and they had an amazing time as did Calvin and his friends. Calvin had at least one condition for the party his friends insisted on throwing for him: no strippers. They had laughed but obviously obeyed. All in all the night before the wedding had been great for both of them and now their happiest day had arrived.  

“Taylor?” Karlie called out as she entered the room. Taylor smiled at her and motioned for her to come in. “Ready for your big day, babe?” Karlie sat next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m so ready. Karlie, I can’t believe this day has finally arrived.” She sighed, grinning.

“I know, right? My best friend is getting married!”Karlie squealed before all the other girls walked into the room.

“Where’s the bride?” Selena yelled as they all started laughing. “Let’s make you hot so your hubby won’t be able to take his eyes, or hands for that matter off of you.” Selena said, hugging Taylor. She laughed and held her friend in tight grip.

“Sel, we all know he won’t take his hands off of her even if she was wearing cat pajamas.” The group cracked up once again.

After about an hour and a half later, Taylor was in front of the mirror, wearing her wedding dress. She looked so beautiful and it brought a plethora of happiness to everyone standing in the room, including her mother, who had arrived a few minutes ago. She looked ineffably gorgeous; some may dare to say perfect. The Ellie Saab gown fitted her perfectly. Since it was summer time, the dress had short sleeves. The princess like gown flowed from her waist and the neckline followed her collarbone almost to the tip of her shoulders, the organza flowers and the white gemstones embroidered over the tulle fabric made Taylor look like an absolute angel.

“Oh, sweetie, you look so beautiful.” Andrea told her, wiping the tears from her face. Taylor turned to look at her.

“Stop crying, you’re going to make me cry.” She hugged her mother, smiling. She looked at herself in the mirror again and smiled. Soon she would be married, thinking about that made her want to jump around as she did earlier in the morning when no one was in the room, because they wanted to maintain the tradition of not sleeping with each other the night before the wedding.

Meanwhile, in another room, Calvin was pacing back and forth. “Can’t I just call her?” He whined, looking at Burns.

“No, you were the one who told us not to let you call her until the wedding, dude.” He laughed as Calvin sighed. This had been going on for about fifteen minutes. Calvin had told them not to let him call her or contact her in any way because he thought that if he called her, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from walking over to the other side of the house to see her but now all he wanted to do was talk to her.

“I just want hear her voice.” He said, sitting down.

“That’s so fucking cheesy, it makes me want to throw up.” Burns made gagging noises and everyone in the room laughed.

“What about a text? That’s fine right?” He wondered. They thought about it for a moment before agreeing. A text message wouldn’t be bad.  

In the other room, Taylor’s phone beeped with a sound of a text message alert. “Abi, can you grab my phone?” She asked and Abigail nodded, reaching for it on the bedside table.

“Seems like your husband to be misses you.” She giggled, handing Taylor her phone. Once she heard that, she excitedly unlocked her phone.

‘Hey, beautiful, I just wanted to tell you I can’t wait to meet you at the altar and that I miss you. I hate being away from you. I love you, my love and I’m incredibly happy that I’m marrying you today xx’ the message read making Taylor’s lips curve into a smile. She responded quickly with sweet words and shut her phone, going back to letting them make their last touches on her look. She peaked at the clock, in about ten minutes, she would be marrying the man she loved.  

Calvin, now stood at the altar waiting for her. She hadn’t let him see the dress and he was wishing to see it badly, especially when she was wearing it. He was unable to stop smiling, he was marrying her. My god, it felt like a movie!

“Taylor? You ready?” Her father knocked on the door and she took a deep breath. It was happening. Scott walked into the room and his eyes traveled to his daughter. It brought tears to his eyes to see her.

“I’m ready. Let’s go!” She grinned. They descended the stairs to the backyard, where the guests were already sitting. “This is it.” She breathed, nervously. Through the window, she saw everyone, her friends, her family, his family and she the corners of her lips turned upwards softly. It would now be their family.

“You can still run, you know?” Scott joked. Taylor giggled. She loved that her father was joking around with her; it made her feel less nervous.

“The only place I’m running to is him.” She murmured, joyfully. They ambled along the corridor that led them outside. A few seconds later, the music started playing and Calvin’s heart skipped a beat for a second.

Then the beautiful angle that would be his wife appeared in front of him. A single tear slipped through his eye as he looked upon her. It took his breath away, it took everyone’s breath away as she walked down the aisle. He smiled broadly at her and it seemed as if everyone around them disappeared. Their eyes locked. Blue on green. As Taylor got closer, his heartbeat increased with each step she took, her face was glowing, her smile was enough to make his knees go weak. “Take care of her.” Her father told him as he handed her hand to Calvin.

“You look breathtaking, my love.” He whispered, looking into her eyes. They took a step towards the priest.

“Friends, we have joined here today to share with Taylor and Adam an important moment in their lives. Their time together, they have seen their love and understanding of each other grow and blossom and now they have decided to live out the rest of their lives as one.” The priest began the ceremony. “‘Marriage has certain qualities of contract, in which two people take on the housekeeping tasks of living together, to enhance life’s joy. However, marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep, deeper happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a spiritual journey, to a life of becoming – in which joy can comprehend despair, running through rivers of pain into joy again. And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant- a covenant says: I love you. I trust you. I will be here for you when you are hurting, and when I am hurting, I will not leave. It is a covenant intended not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything.’ ” The priest spoke, while Taylor and Calvin looked at each other, smiling. “Adam, do you take Taylor to be your lawful wedded wife? Will you love, comfort, honor and protect her; forsaking all others to be faithful to her until death do you apart?” He turned to Calvin.

“I do.” He responded, grinning down at her.

“And Taylor, do you take Adam to be your lawful wedded husband? Will you love, comfort, honor and protect him; forsaking all others to be faithful to him until death do you apart?”

“I do.” She answered, holding back tears.

“Now, Taylor and Adam have chosen to write their own vows.” The priest, whose name was Michael, announced.

“My love, being here today is amazing. Knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with you makes me want to jump up and down and cry which is getting very difficult not to do because you look beautiful.” He paused, laughing lightly. “From the time we first met, I have always been intrigued by you. When Ellie introduced us, I was quite nervous because you were gorgeous and funny and sweet. You smiled at me and I swear I felt little dizzy. Cheesy, I know. Then I got to know you better and your eyes became my favorite thing to look at. Your voice is what I long to hear after a long day. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. I promise to love you with every fiber of my being for the rest of my life. I promise you that I’ll keep on enjoying watching you dance.” He smirked causing her to giggle. “I’ll keep on loving your cat pajamas and your obsession with pop tarts. But above all, I promise to respect you and I promise that I’ll be there for you at all times. No exceptions. Forever.” He finished and everyone had tears in their eyes, including Taylor, who was crying more than anyone.

“Oh man, I told myself I wouldn’t cry.” She said making everyone laugh a little. “Adam, I can’t wait to begin this new chapter of my life, our life. Before I met you, I was happy, I was starting  my world tour and I didn’t think I could be happier but then we met and I realized that being happier than I was then, was actually possible. You made me happier than anyone else. I have been through a lot of heartbreak and guys who hurt me badly but all that pain, all that suffering led me to you, to this moment and I know that now I have a partner for the rest of my life. I know that you’ll stand by me. You have all this time, you accepted everything that came with being with me. All those headlines and cameras didn’t seem to bother you and you protected me from everything and I know you will continue to do so. I’ll do the same for you. I really do love you and I always will.” Everyone present smiled at their exchange of words. There was something beautiful unique about watching two people confess their love to one another, watching them gaze at each other like the rest of the world didn’t matter.

They were given their rings after they had pronounced their vows, the symbol of their love. “With this ring, I thee wed. I offer you my hand and my heart as I know it will be safe with you. All that I am I give to you and all that I have I share with you.” They both said the same as they placed the rings on each other’s fingers. They were finally married.

“You have been living your life as individuals. Now you will live it as one. By the power vested in me by the state of Rhode Island, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.” Michael smiled. Calvin leaned forward, capturing Taylor’s lips in a passionate kiss, all the sounds of people clapping and cheering dissipating around them as they got lost in each other’s lips. When they pulled away, their eyes gazing into one another’s as their smiles were about to break their faces.

“Well, hello, Mrs. Wiles.” He pecked her cheek.

“I like that.” They laughed together, entering a new chapter of their lives but with many more to come.


I want to know what you guys think :) remember that you can always send requests, babes xx