there was a barber and his wife

Barber’s Point, Washington

Uh I suppose this is my foray into this odd slow burn place of longish ficlets.  Here is the haircutting fic, part one, destined for like three or four.  Not sure it’s what you were looking for @wtfmulder but hey here we are.


March 7, 1992

“Oh, come on Blevins. We’ve had this discussion before and you know and I know that I always win this little pissing contest of yours.”

“You can address me as Agent Blevins or as your Division Chief, Agent Mulder, for starters, and it’s coming from higher than me.  You’re getting a partner.  And we’re locking your travel down until you learn to work with her.”

Mulder rolled his eyes off to the left with a disgusted smirk as he rocked back in his chair.  “Are we done here, Agent Blevins?”

The old man was content to spend the least amount of time possible in the same room with the Spook. But that wasn’t the question he’d expected.  “We need to go over the personnel file for your partner.  Technically, the X-files was a division of one until today and that makes you the branch chief.”

Mulder found it impossible to hide his smirk… well.  He didn’t even try, actually.  He stood and turned for the door.  “Scully, Dana, 29 – thanks for hooking me up with the experience, sir – physicist and a forensic pathologist.  At least you decided to throw me someone that can shoot. Don’t worry Agent Blevins, I give her two weeks.”

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A black businessman in white Mississippi

Robert K. Wier (1886-1974) kept track of his membership dues in this copy of the constitution and bylaws of the Journeymen Barbers’ International Union. Wier’s barbershop was the first African American-owned business on Main Street in Starkville, Mississippi (home of Mississippi State).

This undated photograph shows Wier’s barbershop in Starkville.

In 1977, Wier’s wife, educator and community leader Sadye Hunter Wier, worked with historian John Marszalek to publish A Black Businessman in White Mississippi, a book about her husband’s life.

3

On August 17, 2002 Justin Barber and April Barber, an apparently happy and loving couple celebrated their third wedding anniversary with dinner at an italian restaurant, followed by visiting the Guana River State Park beach late at night. What starts off as a romantic and beautiful story tragically ends in the murder of April Barber. While walking along the beach expecting nothing bad, a man with a gun rushed to Justin and April, demanding money while wounding the couple, eventually killing April with a single shot. Justin realized that his wife was dead and tried to search for help, but there was no one to reach out to at the time. He intended to carry her body to his car but couldn’t due to his injuries so he left her at the beach and drive off, looking for help. When he had found someone who was offering to help him called the police, he was transferred to a hospital while the police was searching up the beach for April. After finding April, the immediate search for her murderer began. The police had no clues at the beginning, but suspicion fell later on Justin himself. There were just some facts that seemed unusual to investigators, such as Justin leaving his phone at home this particular night and not using his wife’s phone to call for help. It quickly emerged that the marriage of the Barbers had not been a happy one and the fact was supported by several family members and friends of April. Later research revealed that Justin had an affair with a woman named Shannon Kennedy and that April speculated that Justin may be unfaithful circa two months before she was murdered. She had confronted him about her concerns but he denied it whenever she tried to talk with him about it. Prior to that in 2001, after a mere three years of marriage, a $2 Million life insurance was issued by Justin on April and himself. There was also a rumor that April told Justin about divorce plans. However, the most striking evidence just waited to be discovered on his laptop after investigators recovered parts of his internet history. On February 9, 2002 he looked up various famous murder cases. On August 17, 2002 just hours before murdering his wife, he downloadedUsed To Love Herby Guns N’ Roses. The following lines are from the actual song:

I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I had to put her six feet under
And I can still hear her complain

Justin Barber was convicted for the murder of April Barber and was senteced to life without parole.

Ryan’s Lullaby

Orphan Brigade [Baby Years]: The story of how an infamous crime lord became the guardian of three children and a teenager.


The Lads often had trouble sleeping on stormy nights. The crash of the lightning would jolt them awake and they would all gather in Ray’s bed to hide from the storm. 

Luckily, Ryan was there to keep them calm.

When the worst of the storm hit, Ryan entered their room armed with warm milk, figuring that it would be a quick way to get them back to sleep. As they drank, Ryan started to sing, hoping that a lullaby would help. He didn’t know any actual lullabies, but he figured that any slow song would do the trick.

“There was a barber and his wife. And she was beautiful.” He sung from the edge of Rays bed. 

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Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

  • Rating: R
  • Director:   Tim Burton

Summery: A man sent away to prison so a judge can get frisky with his wife returns and is super pissed off to find out his wife is no more and his daughter was taken in by the same guy who wanted to move on his family. Even more so now that the sicko wants to marry the daughter. The man changes his name to Todd and he goes on a fantastic murder rampage while his kinda sorta girlfriend and neighbor cooks the bodies into her meat pies and makes a fortune.

Who’s movie: Totally Mine

Short Review: I’m a sicko. I know this. I have a soft spot for twisted movies and even more so for horror. I also have a sweet spot for musicals. Combine it all with a Burton color scheme and I’m a goner. I don’t want to give away too much if you have never seen this flick. I don’t find it too gruesome compared to other horror movies but that is just me.

Recommended? If you love Burton, Depp and the beautiful Helena Bonham Carter then yes. 

My family thinks I’m crazy. I think I’m crazy. I may very well be. But here’s another female Sweeney Todd doodle.

SWEENEY TODD
  • Prologue: just setting the Victorian patriarchal mood
  • No Place Like London: check ur privilege 
  • The Barber and His Wife: throwback thursday
  • The Worst Pies in London: in THIS economy… 
  • Poor Thing: she was asking for it
  • My Friends: some shit’s gonna go down
  • Green Finch and Linnet Bird: curse my feminist conscience
  • Ah Miss: I’ve been at sea for months and I need a wench
  • Johanna: nuclear ovaries disaster
  • Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir: Order now for only 19.99!
  • The Contest: the actor playing Pirelli needs to show off 
  • Judge’s Song: Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins
  • Wait: keep calm and carry on
  • Kiss Me: more like frisk me
  • Ladies in their Sensitivities: shut the hell up beadle
  • Pretty Women: tits & ass, yes, tits & ass
  • Epiphany: hot dad temper tantrum
  • A Little Priest: Any pun you can do I can do better
  • Good That’s Good: i’ll do anything for money
  • Johanna Quartet: SO DRAMATIC
  • By the Sea: this could be us but you playin’
  • City on Fire: zombie apocalypse
  • Wigmaker Sequence: you men and your inability to differentiate between hair colors
  • Not While I’m Around: mrs. Lovett, textbook sociopath
  • Final Sequence: eat your heart out, Hamlet
  • Finale: we’re murderers; you’re murderers. Have a nice day!
Schostakovich wrote an opera called The Nose

Here is the synopsis of the greatest opera to bless this planet

“Act 1Edit
PrologueEdit
St Petersburg. Kovalev, a Collegiate Assessor is being shaved by Ivan Yakovlevich (a barber). He is one of Yakovlevich’s regular customers.

The next morning, Yakovlevich finds a nose in his bread. His wife, believing he has cut off one of his customers’ noses, requests him to dispose of it. He tries to dispose of it in the street, but is foiled by running into people he knows, then he throws it into the Neva River, but he is seen by a police officer and taken away for questioning. Meanwhile Kovalyov wakes and finds his nose missing. His first reaction is disbelief, then shock, and he sets out to find it. He later sees his nose praying in the Kazan Cathedral, now the size of a human being. Since the nose has acquired a higher rank (State Councillor) than he, it refuses to have any dealings with him, and leaves.

Act 2Edit
In his search, Kovalyov finds himself at the Chief of Police’s apartment, but he is not at home. Next he visits the newspaper office to place an advertisement about the loss of his nose, where they are dealing with a missing dog. After explaining his loss, his request is refused on the grounds of the newspaper’s reputation. Upon demonstrating his loss, the clerk suggests he tell his story. Kovalyov feels insulted and leaves.

He returns to his apartment, where his servant is playing the balalaika, he dismisses him and wallows in self-pity.

Act 3Edit
The police take up the search. A group of policemen are at a railway station, in order to prevent the nose from escaping, where an inspector rallies them. The nose runs in and tries to stop the train, and a general pursuit ensues, resulting in its capture. The nose is then beaten into its normal size, wrapped and returned to Kovalyov by the inspector, but Kovalyov is unable to reattach it. Nor can a doctor. He then suspects that he has been placed under a spell by a woman called Madame Podtochina, because he would not marry her daughter. He writes to ask her to undo the spell, but she misinterprets the letter as a proposal to her daughter. She convinces him that she is innocent. In the city, crowds fuelled by rumours gather in search of the nose till the police restore order.

Kovalyov wakes up with his nose reattached, and dances a polka in joy. Yakovlevich has been released from prison and arrives to shave him.”

A lot of our head cannons come from our background and experiences.

My random head cannons based on my culture: Robbie has a vest/A-shirt/wife beater (that’s what they’re called where I live now dont @ me!) under his red t shirt.

He also gets a hair cut regularly with a shape up (where the barber makes sure the edges are clean) in between to keep it looking fresh. He might go to a Black barber shop.

Pre Ghost Rider, Robbie was that dude who said he only smokes when he drinks. He got along with all the different clicques, would break up fights but be able to throw down when need be . He loved girls , and they loved him too , but the guys thought he was cool too. He wasn’t a douche, just a round the way guy.

He has cut himself off from almost everyone since he got the Rider, but there are people who would still pick back up with him if he gave them the chance.

Robbie in season 5 please ! Or his own show.

Sweeney Todd existed

Contrary to popular belief, he did exist. just not exactly the same way the movie shows. They found evidence, and a lot, in 2008. Allow me to tell the story. 


Sweeney todd was alive in the late 18th, October 26th, 1756, century (before jack the ripper). His father was an abusive alcoholic and his mom also drank, but to numb the feeling of the abuse. Sweeney blamed his mother for not being able to stop her husbands abuse. One winter, the parents went out, most likely to get alcohol, and never came back. They were found dead in the street; apparently they cold got to them. No family member wanted to take care of a, now orphaned, Sweeney Todd. He was 8.  

By the time he was 14, he was put in jail for petty theft, whether it was just or not, is unknown. While in jail he was taken under the wing of the jail’s barber. He taught Todd how to shave, and Todd would be paid by other prisoners for it. The barber’s name was Plummer.  Other inmates would beat him and leave him for dead. After his five year sentence, he went the fleet street and opened up a barber shop. 

while walking through the town, he happened to stumble across Ms. Lovvett’s meat pies! His show was a ways down, and not on top of her shop, like portrayed in the movie. Ms. Lovvett and Sweeney did “fall in love” but never actually got married. Sweeney did often call her his “wife” and they where sexually active. 

Sweeney would sit people in his chair, and throw them down the hatch. He did NOT slit their throat before falling down. If the fall did not kill them, he would slit their throat with his blades. They had a successful meat pie business, using the dead people from Sweeney’s shop, for the meat. People began to complain about the terrible smell from her chimney. The police found the Tunnel that they used to store the “meat” and found the door with “Sweeney’s barber shop” painted on the door. When the opened the door, they found skeletons of at least 132 bodies. 

Ms. Lovvett and Sweeney were arrested. Ms. Lovvett fesses up to everything, and drank a poison, that she probably got from a guard. Sweeney Todd was sentenced to be hung, in public. He was around 42 years old when he was caught and hung. 

Here is an article I found, If you want more info! 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-509190/Revealed-The-truth-REAL-Sweeney-Todd.html

@corruptedpersona replied to your post: ooc hmm….the dash doesn’t look very nice rn, so…

{ ooc: please hug me this is stressing me out and I’m not even a part of it

don’t worry fam i gotchu

now then pego is our obvious contender for the role of sweeney which btw just means barber.

a happy man and his wife and child, a jealous man kicks the happy man to australia so he could get wit de gurl

shi.do could obviously be judge turpin if aki.ra is sweeney, right?

beadle bam.ford would PROBS have to be the SIU Director or g.oro in that case, judging by the role itself and not by characterization

sh.inya is toby, don’t argue this, he’s the only kid that’s a legit kid without delving into the other games (other option is humanized morg.ana but uhhhhhh *looks at end of movie*)

now, go.ro also fits as signore pire.lli for the role of rival except that pir.elli lasts like 3 days and that’s it, he’s weak af and go.ro ain’t weak, but he does have the dramatic flair necessary

if we go simply for the yellow hair thing, then ann would be johan.na or lucy, leaning more towards lucy, and then i kinda wanna make ha.ru joha.nna because, again, the role fits her. either haru or futa.ba for the role of joha.nna

mak.oto can be anthony, she’s looking for her joha.nna ;D

and ry.uji, despite being the “sailor” i want to make mrs. lovett. because he’s a.kira’s partner in crime

Omg if Benjamin Barker actually got to stay with Lucy and Johanna he would’ve been such a Dad Joke Father
I mean look at him in A Little Priest; the guy obviously loves puns.

Mrs. Lovett picks up on this (and loves them too) and takes to using puns as her method of flirting, but he completely misses the intention behind it and usually responds by telling her he’ll have to tell his wife and daughter whatever joke it was