there used to be a time when i was normal

anonymous asked:

Where do you find inspiration for your bujo spreads? Also, where do you find the pictures you use and what do you search to find them?

as you can notice, every month, i choose a colour for the spreads. and i just think of the thing i associate with that certain colours in general. so every picture, every quote, every single thing i’ve written down or put on the spreads are what i normally feel or think of that colour. also, i don’t really find inspirations outside things i experience in my daily life. i personally think it’s better to use things you usually see in your daily life in bujo. when you look back on these spreads, you’ll see your interests at the time and have some time to reflect upon your old/new self.

i always use google chrome. but i reckon other search engines should give similar or probably the same results? 

for example, i chose grey for last november’s spreads. what i associate myself with the colour grey are wolves, winter times, cathedrals, etc. then i search for these stuff on the internet. and that’s it. 

bonus: here are some tips on searching
i’m not sure if you know about this or not. i bet you do but the keywords you use when searching are absolutely important.

try googling these three
- ocean
- ocean tumblr
- ocean pinterest
(this is the reason why i don’t actually use tumblr and pinterest when searching.)

you’ll see that google gives you different types of result.
- ocean : it’ll literally give you pictures of the ocean. like, literally. ocean.
- ocean tumblr : now this will give you more aesthetic pictures that seem like they had already been edited and changed the filters to look tumblr-ish or tumblr-like. and personally, i love adding ‘tumblr’ at the end of everything before i google.
- ocean pinterest : this will give you more pastel and somewhat pink-ish pictures. although i’d say they don’t differ much from the tumblr one, you can actually see some differences between them.

or you can add some more keywords or just some words like
- quotes
- grunge
- pantone
- aesthetic

10 People You Want to Know Better

Tagged by: @singergurl91​ (thanks, Rachel sweetie! *smooches*)

Name: Vie
Nickname: I actually don’t have any, currently!
Star sign: Pisces
Height: 5′2″
Hogwarts house: Mostly Slytherin, occasionally Ravenclaw
Dream trip: Tokyo and Marrakesh, currently; and always, always London (even though I’ve been there several times already) + a tonne of places in Europe
Average hours of sleep: 6 - 8 hours for me to function normally
Dogs or cats: I’ll have to go with dogs, I love the wild/big cats though
When I made my blog: This one was made in October/November last year, I used to have a more personal one but I no longer use it
Reasons for my URL: I use it as my gaming alias sometimes, and it just stuck; xv is my birthdate (it’s not because of FFXV lol)

Ten people to get to know: @lazarustrashpit @xalmasyx @trashassassin @jastiss @unerring-connoisseur @sammy4417 @miss-pixieice @lokewight @ffxvthirstress @averyverymary (only if you want to) and anyone else who wants to do it, no pressure!

okay nope, after that post, it’s time to go off some more.

as a parent, you have no right to announce your child’s disability to everyone. the only time you should mention their disability is when it is medically necessary. you need to stop and think about how this is going to affect your child before you do something like that.

growing up, every time my mother introduced me to someone, she’d say “this is my child who goes to the school for the blind” right after telling them my name. it was as if the most important thing about me was that I am disabled.

“but they don’t let it hold them back!” she’d say. yes, because I just live to be some abled person’s inspiration porn. I don’t let it hold me back from what? doing my schoolwork? joining a club? normal things that you would expect the average abled person to do?

it shows, when you tell everyone about your disabled child all the time, what you really think of people with disabilities. maybe it’s showing you see us as lesser. maybe it’s showing you think we can’t do anything on our own. maybe it’s showing you think we’re a burden. it never seems to be showing something good.

disclosing someone’s disability should be the disabled person’s decision. there are countless reasons why we wouldn’t want to disclose our disabilities to just anyone. oh, you don’t think it’s that big a deal? well, here’s a bit of it, then:

  • we don’t want anyone’s pity. we’re not “inspiring” for living our daily lives.
  • maybe we don’t want to disclose our disabilities because that person may have been offering a job to us. maybe we don’t want our application thrown out on the basis that we “can’t do it because we’re disabled”. we know when to discuss our disabilities with our employers.
  • maybe it’s that we don’t want everyone at school knowing. not every kid is your friend, and things can get a whole lot worse if they’re ableist.
  • maybe we don’t want to disclose it because of how ableist people are. haven’t you ever seen a parent pull their child away from an autistic child or refuse to vaccinate their child because they don’t want that child to “catch the autism”? well, I have.
  • have you ever had to take the “short bus”? no? well, I have. it’s an announcement to everyone that you’re disabled. to the ableists out there, it’s an announcement of a perceived weakness they can exploit.
  • have you ever had people avoid you because of your disability? well you’re abled, so I guess not. you can bet your ass I have, though.


TL;DR: the world is full of ableist people. you as a parent have no right to make that world even more difficult for your child by announcing their disability.

Moved On

(Gif credit: allywantstofly)

Summary: After being rejected by her childhood crush, Steve Harrington, the reader looks for comfort in Billy Hargrove. 

It had been two months since Nancy and Steve broke up. And only a month since he stopped coming over to my house a couple times a week sobbing about her. Nancy… it was a shitty breakup. She led him on, told him she loved him, and then cheated on him. He was busted up, he was arranging his future around staying with her.

I always had feelings for Steve. The two of us grew up together, he was the neighbor across the street from me. He was my first kiss… when we were six years old. He lost his favorite tonka truck and when I found it for him, he planted a big ol’ kiss right on my lips.

We were attached at the hip throughout middle school, always doing our homework together, going to each other’s games and recitals. He and Nancy broke up, and I determined it was time to make my move.

Keep reading

Troye Sivan, GCF, Snoring during VLIVEs, and Jikook being inseparable... (Analysis)

I’ve been wanting to make this post for quite a while but I never really received any sort of push to make it until I saw @noransaekk‘s take on some of these topics… So please bare with me as I ramble on with my endless thoughts. 

WARNING ahead of time that I will be talking about Jikook/Kookmin possibly being in a romantic relationship so if for some reason that isn’t your cup of tea don’t read any further. Another thing: THIS IS ALL 100% SPECULATION NOTHING THAT I SAY AM I CLAIMING TO BE THE TRUTH. Nothing I say is meant to be offensive or am I in anyway trying to label these boys, this is a simply opening a discussion to different possibilities. 

With that out of the way let me begin… (Maybe grabs some snacks and a warm blanket? This is going to be a long one). 

Keep reading

Guys. I’m about to do a rant about D&D things. Because I’m so frustrated about dumb DMs who undermine an out of the box character.

From now on when playing Prianna, I’m giving her a frying pan as her weapon. DMs freak the hell out on me about 90% of the time if she doesn’t have a “normal regular weapon”, but I never use it because she stays in the back? Also… frying pan is going to be her focus for her magic. It’s her tool. It’s her craft. It’s how she, as a bard, performs. So of course the frying pan would be her magical focus item as well. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES IF I DO THIS?! Does anyone actually check in with their bard every single attack and be like “okay are you playing your lute right now what song are you playing?!” - no, it’s just assumed they’re using their instrument as focus. SO I WILL DO THIS BUT WITH FRYING PAN SHE’S ALREADY HOLDING.

AND FUCKING HELL ON THAT NOTE

I’m tired of having to write up this character as being a musician because some people struggle to see cooking as an artistic skill, when it 100% totally is. I’ve had DMs in the past tell me that her cooking something is a dexterity skill, or a intelligence skill, and I HAVE WITNESSED THE BEST CHEFS BE CLUMSY AS FUCK AND NOT VERY SMART BUT STILL CREATIVE ENOUGH TO MAKE IT GOOD. I will not accept this dumb “cooking is not a performance skill” anymore.

Frying pan is her focus. She has proficiency with cook’s utensils. She performs her craft by cooking amazing feasts to delight the masses. I’m making her a glamour bard and she will be the Gordon Ramsey of the tabletop universe, gathering fans and cooking for powerful NPCs. I’m 100% done with this lame attempt at trying to over-complicate a simple mechanic just because it’s not a “traditional art form” - just treat it like a musical instrument, it’s literally no different, and I already get a disadvantage because I actually NEED ingredients instead of handwaving that I have them like a lot of magic classes already do. 

JUST LET ME HAVE FUN, DAMN IT. I’m not breaking the game by doing any of these things. Most of the time her cooking doesn’t even come into play anyway, it’s just a dumb little thing she uses to charisma the fuck out of things when she’s dealing with NPCs - LIKE A BARD WOULD DO ANYWAY.

I’m going to damn well keep my frying pan mechanic.

Originally posted by totallytangled

Here’s a thought...

So I watched TLJ twice (once in theaters and the second using an online cam version), and my friends and I watched it again to see those ForceSkype™️ scenes. Specifically during that shirtless scene, when Kylo was turning around, we noticed something: 

Originally posted by josskuhh

He seems shy.

First of all, he has a pretty stiff body posture. Second, he’s looking down as he turns to face Rey. As far as I know, people look up as they turn, especially someone as confident and dominant as Kylo. Unless he’s talking to the Supreme Leader, he’s always making eye contact and using his body/height to dominate other people (how he talks to Hux is a perfect example of this). In this scene, however, his eyes are down and they slowly come up to meet Rey’s gaze.

Also, remember how that scene started? Kylo says “Yeah” and his voice is a couple octaves higher than normal. It’s so casual and startling all at the same time. Rey caught him when he wasn’t going around being Kylo Ren, Sith Badass, but just as a normal, sorta awkward guy.

When he sees that she’s uncomfortable, that gives him his confidence back. I think her asking about why he killed his father made him angry enough to forget that he’s half-naked, in front of a woman he’s attracted to, in his room. I don’t think anyone has seen him in such an intimate pose like ever (except for maybe his parents but idk)

Idk how logical this sounds but it seems legit…

Mutant!Losers Quick Silver!Richie

- He’s fast as fuck boiiii

- His hair is a dark grey colour

- He wears mainly grey and pink because grey is HIS colour and pink is bright so he can be seen better even when he’s being a fast boy

- He likes to steal stuff but he’s never gotten caught

- He steals Cigarettes for himself and Bev, she likes to dare him about how fast he can get them

- ‘I bet you can’t get them in four seconds’ ‘Bitch , I’ll get them in 3’

- He’s always late to class and everyone knows it’s in purpose because he could easily get there on time

- He’s actually super clever though and gets his work done super quickly so the teachers never give him detention

- He claims his powers come from drinking too many energy drinks but they don’t even work on him

- Sometimes when he kisses Eddie his actions are jerky and weirdly paced because when he’s happy he forgets to slow down but he knows Eddie can’t keep up so tries to be slower

- If he’s super excited he’ll run around to use his energy

- Eddie agreed to go to the school dance with him and he ran all over the school for five minutes (that’s a long time for Richie to be running and he covered a lot of ground)

- He thinks it’s hilarious to pick up the losers and run, slowly getting faster and scaring them

- ‘You’ll give me fucking whip lash, idiot, why do I even date you’

- When he’s doing stuff that doesn’t involve talking he goes at his normal pace, which means he’s just a blur

- Like if he’s getting himself a drink whilst they’re watching a movie he’ll be there and back in a few seconds, creating a slight gust of wind

- His parents always tell him he’s too annoying and fast so he kinda hates his powers and that his normal speed is just wayyyyy to fast for anyone to keep up with him

- He eats a lot of fast food but his body works so fast that he just doesn’t put on weight at all

anonymous asked:

What is Bucky Barnes like when he’s horny?

Oh man

Horny Bucky is when his inner fuck boy comes out to play. 

• He’d wouldn’t tell you when he wanted you, because the man isn’t very good with expressing himself verbally. So it would have to be physical for him.

•He’d get horny at the most random times, too. Right before a big mission. During a mission briefing. Or during training. 

• He’d offer to train with you afterwards, giving you some bullshit excuse like, “baby your stance is off. let me teach you a thing or two.” And he’d use any excuse to get his hands on you. 

• When he finally got you alone, he’d come up with all types of unnecessary practices. He’d suggest Yoga and when you bent over, he’d purposely place his hands right on your ass. And he wouldn’t move them, he’d just act like normal. “What? Something wrong, doll?” 

• He’d stand behind you the entire time, trying to teach you how to successfully pull a punch, but instead of focusing on training, he’d be grinding his hard cock into your ass, letting you know just what he wanted now that everyone was gone. 

• “Bucky.”

•“Yeah, doll?”

• “I know exactly what you’re doing.”

• He’d keep playing innocent, but his body language would say it all. He’d suggest something like stretching, where he could see you at your most vulnerable, all stretched out just like when you guys fucked. 

• He would start grinding against you, groaning at the way his cock slid against his sweatpants and against your leggings. You’d more than reciprocate too, flipping onto your back and spreading your legs, giving him a sinful smile. 

• Bucky would grab you by the back of your thighs and lift them until they were resting against your chest before grinding down hard. He’d take so much pride in hearing you groan and gasp his name. Especially when you get really loud too. 

• But right before you came, he’d stop because Bucky Barnes is giant fucking tease and he loves torturing you this way. He’d smirk down at the small wet spot between your legs and wink at you before getting up and walking off. And because you were a sucker for him, you’d scurry right after him fast. 

• And when you made it to his room, you’d end up thanking the heavens that Bucky made you stretch, because you’d need it. ;)

Felix Lee as your boyfriend

A/N: Warning, this is going to be more humorous than romantic I apologize in advance

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

Originally posted by hyuunjins

  • You’re in for a wild ride dating this boy
  • It would just be a mess every single day
  • Sometimes he feels like more of a dumb best friend than a boyfriend
  • Then he kisses you and you’re like: “Oh right, we’re dating.”
  • Would giggle to himself every time you’re the one initiating skinship
  • Pretends to be all smooth and chill around you, but he is actually yelling on the inside
  • “They’re holding my hand, oh my god, stay cool, Felix.”
  • When in reality you’ve held hands like 50 times before?
  • He just never gets used to the fact that he is dating his favourite person
  • And you never get used to that you’re dating the weirdest, but most lovely boy in the world
  • Started jumping up and down when you agreed to go out with him
  • Then he tried to regain a somewhat normal state
  • “ *coughs* Uhm, yeah right cool, that’s cool.”
  • As soon as you leave the room he starts screaming and he immediately texts the group chat with his members about you
  • Would bring you to a pet store to look at baby animals
  • “That kitten is almost as cute as me.”
  • “I thought you were gonna’ say that I was the cuter one.”
  • “What no, you’re cute, but the third cutest – after me and the kitten.”
  • This is where you have permission to jokingly hit him
  • “Ouch! Kidding, I was kidding, you’re the second cutest, after me!”
  • You have to get used to him saying things like these, but he mostly does it for the laughs
  • We all know he thinks you’re the cutest one deep inside
  • (Okay, maybe the kitten is slightly cuter, but come on, it’s a kitten)
  • Would be extremely cuddly when tired
  • “Little did I know, was that when I took elevator to get to practice today, I really did get on the hellevator.”
  • “How was it meeting your brother the devil?”
  • “He was almost as awesome as me, but a bit more evil.”
  • Anyways, back to cuddling
  • He’d snuggle against you until he got completely comfortable
  • Sometimes he asks you if you can stroke his hair because he thinks it feels so nice
  • It gives him shivers at times, but he still wants you to keep going
  • Can of course get all love-dazed and serious sometimes, which is usually when he is sleepy
  • “You know all my insults are from love right?”
  • “I know, Felix.”
  • “Cause I do love you so much. You make me really happy.”
  • The type to sometimes ask for permission to kiss you, but other times he just steals them
  • Lights up when someone mentions your name
  • Loves to tell his members about your adventures together
  • You’d feed each other popcorn when watching a movie
  • He gets the most scared from horror films
  • He once knocked the popcorn bowl right up in the air from being startled
  • Other times he’ll hide under the blanket you’re sharing
  • “Felix, come back out, you’re gonna’ miss the storyline.”
  • “No. It’s warm and safe here.”

“Sunset Sparks”

I don’t do many vertical format timelapses because they don’t work well as videos, and I try to get as much as I can out of every timelapse I shoot, but I think the vertical format works really well. (since mine usually focus on the sky) I’m pretty sure that I was forced into this, because people were fishing at the point, and the only other decent view from there was between two trees, which got in the way. (I would normally just use the trees as a frame on each side, but the wind was blowing them around enough that I knew they would make a mess when stacking them) Maybe I’ll get into shooting vertical a little more. I made this time stack by combining 183 photos into one image.

Whatever It Takes-Part 2

This is for the “Alpha for Hire” square on my @spnabobingo card. Beta’d by the fantabulous @kittenofdoomage

Part 1     My Master List

Characters: Alpha! Dean Winchester, Beta! Sam Winchester, Omega! reader, Beta! sister Terri (OC)

“Lead the way, princess,” he said, giving me another flash of that cocky grin. “Damn you smell good. I could smell you from the lobby.”

I gritted my teeth in frustration. This guy was making an already embarrassing situation worse. “Did you look at my profile, Dean?” I asked quietly.

His shoulders loosened in a lazy shrug. “I glanced at it on the way over, why?”

“Because it says I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. So how about you do what I’m paying you for and stop talking?” I paused at the entrance to my bedroom, gesturing into it with one hand. “In here.”

The burning sensation in my belly worsened, as my heat started to flare uncontrollably in me.  There was no holding back a groan as my stomach clenched in pain.

I looked over at Dean, and his eyes were dark with arousal.  Taking a deep breath to calm my raging nerves, I stepped towards him until our bodies were just barely touching. I could feel his hard cock pressing into my belly.

I stared up at him, trying to ignore my body’s response. If I was going to get through this with my spirit intact, I had to look at this as a business transaction, nothing more.  My stupid medical condition might be forcing me to pay for this Alpha, but I was still in control here, and I needed to make sure he knew it.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” I said impatiently, “Do I need to draw you a diagram?”

“You’ve got a really smart mouth for an Omega,” Dean commented in a hard voice.

I rolled my eyes. “Good thing you don’t have to like me to fuck me then, huh?” I knew I was being a colossal bitch right now, but I needed someone to vent my frustration on, and he was the only available target.

Something flashed in his eyes, and his big hands closed around my upper arms, pulling me against him as he leaned down to kiss me. When I realized his intent, I turned my head at the last second.  “No. Don’t. No kissing.”

“Why not?” he asked curiously.

“I just don’t want you to. Don’t touch me more than you have to, okay?” He was entirely too attractive, and he smelled way too enticing. If I had any hope of getting through this, I needed it to be as impersonal as possible.

“Fine. Have it your way.  Present, Omega,” he ordered in a commanding Alpha voice, unbuttoning his flannel and dropping it on the floor. I turned away and began to remove my clothes in silence. Once I was completely bare, I got on my hands and knees on the bed as I heard the sound of a condom wrapper being torn open.

The smell of my heat was heavy in the air, and I was becoming more feverish by the second. His large hands grabbed my hips, and I tensed as I felt the round head of him enter me. “Relax,” Dean grunted, and slid inside me. He was big and thick, and the stretch of him was incredible. I arched my back involuntarily to take him deeper, and he began to fuck me hard and fast.

“Harder, please!” I panted, ashamed that he could make me beg, and I heard him groan in response. I was so wet I could hear the slide of him through my slick, and I felt my pussy start to clench around his length as my orgasm approached.  When his knot popped, I came with a hoarse scream and he followed a moment later, collapsing on my back and knocking the wind out of me.

We were locked together until his knot deflated, which was fine because I couldn’t move anyway. Finally, I felt his knot give, and I hissed, “Get off, your heavy,” and when he rolled off of me I headed to the bathroom and shut the door.

I cleaned up very quickly, not fighting the hot, angry, tears pouring down my face. I splashed water on my eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice that I had been crying.  Throwing on a robe, I opened the door, and he was already dressed, waiting. “Will you need me again?” he asked.

I nodded, without speaking.  “When?” was all he said.

“Eight…ten hours, maybe,” I said stiffly. Were we really making an appointment for sex? Really?

“I’ll be back in nine. Call the service if you need me sooner,” he said conversationally as if we were discussing the weather.

I couldn’t look at him. “Fine. You can let yourself out?” I asked as he stood up.

“Y/N?”  I looked up at him when he said my name. “You could let yourself enjoy it, you know.”

“I’ll see you later,” I say, not bothering to answer him.


Dean shows up every eight hours for the next three days, fucking me through my heat.  This is the first heat that doesn’t land me in the hospital.  By the third day, we had the routine down pat.  I hadn’t exactly warmed to him by the end, but I had toned down the bitchiness. After all, it wasn’t HIS fault I was in this situation.  He was just doing the job I was paying him for.

And let’s be honest, if I had to pay an Alpha to knot me, it might as well be one that looks and smells as good as Dean.  And he did have a point, sort of. While I wasn’t thrilled I had to resort to hiring an Alpha I might as well make the best of it.  As soon as I found an Alpha of my own I would be done with Alpha4 anyway.

When I realized my heat was ending, I call the service and tell them I no longer need him to come. And I breathe a sigh of relief. The doctor was right. This crazy plan may just save my life.

Terri, of course, is fascinated and wants to hear all the details of my time with Dean. “I’m not telling you anything, so you can stop asking,” I snap when she presses me for information again.

“Come on, Y/N! If it was me, I would tell you!” she says over coffee.

“Do I ask you intimate details about your sex life?” I comment back to her.

Terri’s been dating this Beta named Chris for over a year now. He’s okay, but he’s no Dean, that’s for sure. “Don’t forget, you were the one who pushed me to do this!”

“Because I don’t want you to DIE, idiot!” she says, blowing on her cup of coffee to cool it.  “When the doctor talked about it, it all sounded very sterile and clean, like getting your car serviced. You look way too smug. He must have been an animal in the sack.”

“Shut UP!” I said, laughing.


Two months pass and my heat doesn’t come, so I think I may have a normal cycle this time.  I still don’t have an Alpha in my life, so I’m going to be forced to use Alpha4 again in a month when my heat hits.  And as I tend to do with everything in my life, I start to overthink things.

Should I just go with whatever random Alpha they send me, or should I request Dean again? I want to keep this as impersonal as possible so it might be better to have a different Alpha each time. On the other hand, I like the way Dean looks, and his scent, and I know he can get the job done.

I make a decision, and then I change my mind, and then I change it again.  But when I feel the familiar pain of my heat,  I call Alpha4, the first thing I ask  “Is Dean available?”

The person on the phone responds, “Let me see if he is available.  Please hold.”  I wait impatiently as some truly horrible music plays while I am on hold. Finally, she returns to the line. “I’m sorry, he is not available at the moment, but he will be available in a few hours.  Would you like us to send someone else, or would you like to wait for him?”

My heat has just begun, and I still have some wiggle room.  I can wait.  “I’ll wait for Dean,” I tell her.

“He will be over as soon as he is available,” she tells me in her business-like voice. I thank her politely and hang up, but inside I am seething. He is with another Omega.

I decide to try and sleep, but I am so hot that I toss and turn, I just can’t get comfortable.  Then the pain starts, like a knife twisting my insides. I can’t stop thinking about Dean with that faceless Omega, touching her, knotting her, while I am here suffering.  What is taking him so long?

After what seems like an eternity, I hear a knock at my door, and I rush to answer it. The fever has gotten bad enough that I have stripped down to just a tank top and panties in an effort to stay cool, but it’s not working. I am sweating and shaking so hard I can barely see straight.

He takes one look at me and rushes inside, shutting the door with his foot. “I’m sorry I’m late. Are you okay?” he asks me, already taking off his jacket.

“You smell like her.” I snap as I grab his hand and pull him toward the bedroom, yanking at his shirt as we walk.  “I bet the other Omegas just fall at your feet, don’t they?”

“Someone’s eager. What’s wrong, Y/N? Jealous?” he asks as he grins at me.

“You wish, asshole,” I mutter, but I am so hot and dizzy now, I begin to sway on my feet. “Please, Dean. Hurry….please.” I whisper weakly.

“You know I love it when you, beg,” he tells me, but then he realizes that I am not fooling around. His arms reach out for me, and he winces when my scorching skin touches his. He pulls me into his arms and leads me to the bed. “I got you, Y/N. I’ll take care of you.”


Afterwards, my temperature drops rapidly. Dean pulls on his pants and goes searching in my kitchen for a bottle of water, he returns with it and holds it out to me. “Drink this,” he orders me. “You look like you need it.”

I take the bottle from him and drink half of it in one long swallow. “Thanks,” I murmur.

“What WAS that?” he asks, looking at me intently. “You were burning up. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

“You ask a lot of questions, Dean.  You can go.  I’ll see you in eight hours.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? Your heat is bad this time, I can tell. Are you gonna be able to last eight hours? Maybe I should…..”

I sighed. “Just go, Dean. Please.”

Dean leaves reluctantly, and I hold it together until he is out the door. As soon as the door shuts behind him, I collapse to the floor, sobbing.  I didn’t know that Dean stood on the other side, just staring at the closed door, fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white, for several minutes as he listened to me cry.

(Part 3)

@fandomismyspiritanimal @sandlee44  @thelittleredwhocould @littlegreenplasticsoldier @sliverofjade @shutupiminlooove @katiekatskorner @emilymorgan1994 @docharleythegeekqueen @allinhishands @jfrank1048 @peaceloveancolor @perpetualabsurdity @crazyforsims @there-must-be-a-lock  @skybinx-blog @percywinchester27 @a-sea-of-fandoms @dorky-and-i-know-it@tokyoghoulyz @pinknerdpanda  @atc74@jayankles  @notnaturalanahi@midnightjazzmine @moonlitskinwalker @we-are-band-sexuals@winchestergirl-love @gecko9596 @ronnie248-blog@essie1876@bohowitch@just-another-busy-fangirl@jotink78 @captainradicalpassion@keelzy2 @disneymarina @kittenofdoomage @mrswhozeewhatsis@oriona75 @frankiea1998 @akshi8278@stylinson531@valynsia @dr-dean@theoutlinez  @imweirdandobsessed @growningupgeek    @luciisthebest  @laurenisnot @maddieburcham1  @canadianjelly@muliermalefici @brewsthespirit-blog @ilsawasanacrobat @nanie5@weasleywinchester-blog @samisimportant @fatalcrossbow  @violetsamalamb @letmusicguideu @grantsgorgeousgirl @faegal04 @feelmyroarrrr @kay18115@milkymilky-cocopuff @mikimausiii @the-greatest-temptation @superpanicromancesummer @wh1sp3r1ng-impala @emoryhemsworth @squirrel-moose-winchester@jennifromtheblock1013

Easy Self Cleansing Spell

So, I posted this spell a couple times before l, but I can’t find it. So here it is. I doesn’t require candles, a big fancy ritual, etc. It only requires you. This spell is perfect for when you feel drained and need a boost, or if you have been around toxic people all day.

Now, normally, I will focus my energy into my hands, but I understand some people don’t have energy to spare. And that’s okay. It’s about intent, lovelies.

  1. Focus your mind as much as possible
  2. Using your hands, begin at your head. Say “In the name of the Divine, I cleanse my mind.” As your saying this as throwing all the negativity of you.
  3. Cross your arms at your chest, “In the name of the Divine, I cleanse my body.” Throw negativity to the ground.
  4. Place hands behind your back, “In name of the Divine, I cleanse my soul. Throw negativity.
  5. Repeat 2 more times.
  6. Say, "I send all my negativity to Mother Earth, that she may turn it into positivity for the good of all the Earth. So mote it be.”
  7. If you are still feeling sluggish, you can repeat it again. If you feel like it worked, you should feel relaxed and weight lifted off of you.

Also, keep in my mind, this Spell can be tailored to individuals’ needs and beliefs. This was taught to me by a local witch who owned a store. She was very…old school. Things had to be done a certain way, but I’m not like that. I hope this helps! Merry meet!

It’d Be Nice

Today, I had an interesting conversation with a group of coworkers about normalizing the word “partner”– typically used for your significant other if you’re queer– for use by everyone.

“It’s common on my college campus,” said one of my coworkers, Katy, “like girls calling their boyfriend their ‘partner.’ It helps so that people don’t have to be accidentally outed as much. We just think that it’d be nice.”

But someone disagreed.

“All of this political correctness is ridiculous,” another coworker told us, shrugging and grinning, “why should I have to change what words I use?”

A bit of prodding, and it was revealed that:

1. He genuinely believed he would somehow be forced into changing or restricting his vocabulary, and that the oversensitive LGBT community was overstepping its boundaries

AND

2. He was primarily against it because he was horrified that for one week, one day, one millisecond he might be perceived as gay.

My coworker is a liberal arts professor’s kid, college educated in STEM. He was raised in a generation that has witnessed gay marriage be legalized in the US only in our lifetime.  

Never before have I been able to firmly put my finger on the double standard that I see in some people my age: the idea that the LGBT community has gone from persecuted to privileged, but simultaneously and ironically find it undesirable and dangerous to be part of that “privileged” community.

And this standard shows itself to me… every day.

My coworker–who has already labeled me and all of our other peers as straight and cis-gendered– would do anything to avoid having someone wrongfully label his sexual orientation. This, despite the fact that there are minimal repercussions for him. If he used the word partner in front of a homophobic boss, stranger, or parent, it’s simple enough for him to whip out his wallet and honestly show off his girlfriend, to talk about her using her feminine name, to bring her to parties. He probably won’t be kicked out of his house for saying “my partner” instead of “my girlfriend”– he likely won’t be demoted, or threatened for just existing, because of those words.

But if I, a woman, ever publicly uttered the words “my girlfriend– my wife–” 

Oh, oh, I could be.

Yet in my coworker’s eyes, he’s the one with a restricted vocabulary. 

…All my coworker Katy said was: “it’d be nice.”

It’d be nice, if we tried to changed the social connotation of a word, because it might help prevent discrimination, harassment, and abuse. It’d be nice, to normalize and accept a word that would allow us to safely talk about our loved ones, about our weekend and our families, until a time when it truly is safe to exist as we are.

If your kneejerk reaction to someone suggesting a possible, lifesaving kindness is to protest “you’re wrong to force me! You can’t MAKE me!” 

Well, I just hope you would consider re-evaluating why you feel the way you do.

THEORY TIME: TRACEBACK TO “NORMALITY”

(future note: SO, I KINDA DIGRESSED FROM MY ORIGINAL POINT HERE, BUT I WROTE SO MUCH ALREADY THAT IM GONNA GO ALONG WITH IT)

*ahem*

“that’s Anti trying to get through”

“kinda sounds like you don’t want me around or something, Jack”

So, right before jack dyed his hair back to brown, we got the charity announcement video, which as @fear-is-nameless pointed out and jack confirmed, could’ve been a “cry for help” from Jack

and then the next day, Jack dyed his hair again, with one of the captions being “back to normality”

and of course, it was a bit getting used to considering Jack had been known for his green hair for so long. Heck, people were even saying like he was a DIFFERENT PERSON

And at the same time/MORESO, the green hair was/has been an important part of the egos, SPECIFICALLY ANTI

heck, ANTI got a surge of power and “RETURNED/REBORNED” all cos jack dyed his hair dark green again.

in DDLC, monika seems to be in control of everyone else, influencing them to the point where she even deleted Sayori to get her out of her way

so, back to the hair, and also that dialogue at the top:

“that’s Anti trying to get through”

“kinda sounds like you don’t want me around or something, Jack”

So like the detention glitches this can go two ways… either

A)

to finally get rid of Anti, Jack got rid of his green hair. No green hair,Anti loses a part of his identity and the whatever help he had from the dark green hair’s no more.

but ANTI KNOWS THIS, that Jack tried to basically “delete” him, hence him reaching out through the DDLC video, and thus the dialogue….

or B)

as the last seal on Jack’s coffin (others being SAY GOODBYE and KILL JSE), Anti gets rid of the green. not because it defined who he was (of course jack means much more to us than that <3) but instead

“back to normality”

maybe Anti just wants to be the norm? where we get back the “old jack” but as ANTI instead???

(this might not make sense to you yet, but let me explain>)

like he makes an effort to do this to the point where in this ask/post i talked about:

and as we saw in the playthrough, he HIDES the green hair, and 23 was when RASPY HILL WAS UPLOADED WHERE:

One of those time travel tropes ive seen before, are the ones where someone from the future takes the place/role of someone from the past, thus possibly changing events if one so pleased. 

(kinda an example of this is the Doctor Who episode, “the wedding of river song”. here, the doctor was running away from his definite death at lake silencio SO MUCH, that an alternate timeline was created, etc. in the end, he accepted his fate and died at the fixed point in time he was supposed to EXCEPT HE DIDNT. instead he got his friends “The Teselecta” to pose as him in a giant futuristic robot DISGUISED AS THE DOCTOR. that way,the robot died/it seemed like the doctor died. but in reality the Doctor, and the timeline was safe and sound.)

SO RAMBLING ASIDE, MAYBE THE HAIR-CHANGE/HIDING WAS BECAUSE ANTI WANTED TO DELETE AND REPLACE JACK PERMENANTLY. JUST LIKE MONIKA DID TO SAYORI IN THE TRACEBACK TEXT:

File “renpy/common/00actionmenu.rpy”, line 103, in __call_ renpy.callin_new_context(“_game_menu”, self.args, _game_menu_screen=screen, *self.kwargs) File “renpy/common/00gamemenu.rpy”, line 173, in <module> $ ui.interact() File “renpy/common/00action_file.rpy”, line 427, in __call_ renpy.load(fn) RestartTopContext: Oh jeez…I didn’t break anything, did I? Hold on a sec, I can probably fix this…I think… Actually, you know what? This would probably be a lot easier if I just deleted her. She’s the one who’s making this so difficult. Ahaha! Well, here’s goes nothing.

AND WHAT BETTER POINT TO REPLACE JACK THAN RASPY HILL? WHERE “JACKSEPTICEYE HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN OR HEARD FROM SINCE…”

and jack KNOWS THIS. That’s why he tried asking for help BEFORE the green was replaced. that’s why in the dialogue, he’s trying to stop anti. but it’s too late. because as we saw already, the green hair’s gone, anti’s glitches are back, and even a link to sister location (where it all started) in the episode reminds us that TIMEISBROKEN.

because now, anti can finally take jack’s place. he becomes the very person we’ve watched and loved all these years. But now he doesn’t have to pretend anymore. BECAUSE HE IS HIM. BECAUSE HE IS JACK.

Because this is how it’s always b e e n. and how it w i l l  b e.

FOREVER

Title: So Married

Rating: G

Word Count: 987

Summary: “Um, excuse me, Phil? You basically just outed us.” 

“Well, you outed the…dog calendar.”

Read on ao3

(huge huge thanks to the lovely @phanarchy for the idea!!)

Keep reading

Smoke And Fire

Summary: Billy refuses to admit his love for Noelle, because she is Steve’s sister. How can he be seen around school with the other Harrington?

Authors Note: this isn’t my first story I’ve written, I use to write all the time back in the myspace days. lol but I have been feeling really nostalgic lately so I figured why not write again? I tend to get really self conscious with my writing so please give me feed back.  There will be 3 parts to this, and if it does well enough I’ll post the other two parts!

[Part 2] [part 3]

                                           

I laid on my side staring at my alarm clock. Quietly counting down the minutes when the boy next to me would wake up, climb out of my window and go back to forgetting my existence. This was a normal occurrence for him, coming to my window late at night to escape the emotional and physical trauma he endured at home. Some nights I would hold him, play with his hair and sing to him as he fell asleep. Other nights, We would have sex, letting him get all his pent up aggression out. The nights always ended the same me holding him singing him to sleep, and in the morning him leaving without a goodbye.

It was even worse at school, he was a grade A asshole, who had it out for my twin brother, Steve. He had already dethroned him from being the “King” of Hawkins High School but that still wasn’t enough. He had to go the extra mile and beat steve to a pulp one night only to get subdued by his little sister max.

———

I stayed behind that night cleaning up the Beyers house, and waiting for Billy to wake up. When he did it was just as unpleasant as I thought it would be.

He sat up rubbing his neck grumbling something incoherently. “Good evening sleepy head” I said making him groan.

“Who the fuck are you? Where’s that little shit at? I can’t go home without her”

I rolled my eyes sitting Ms. Joyce’s copy of Les Miserable on the coffee table crossing my legs under one another. “Max and the kids are with my brother and my nam-“

“Harrington has a sister?” He asked eyeing me with a smirk.I wasn’t surprised in the slightest that Billy Hargrove didn’t know me. Opposite from my brother, I flew under the radar when it came to school. My brother always tried to included me with his friends, who I hated for the most part, so I found solace in the photo lab with Jonathan Beyers.

“My name is Noah. We have six classes together, four of which you are failing, but that’s none of my business” I said standing up. Billy was actually really intelligent, but for whatever reason he dumbed himself down and was on the verge of being kicked out of all his AP classes.

You’re Noah Harrington? I thought Steve had a brother not a sister.” I scrunched my nose.

“Disappointed that I’m not a dude you can beat up like you did Steve are we? Noah is short for Noelle. I go by Noah because it sounds more masculine. It works because creeps like you assume I’m a boy and leave me alone.”

He laughed slightly running his tongue across his bottom lip. Before grabbing a cigarette and placing it between his lips. He lit it laying down with a grunt.

I sighed picking up the book flipping back to the page i was on laying back on the couch.

“I was kidding about thinking you were Steve’s brother. I’m not stupid. I knew who you were.” He said letting out a puff of smoke breaking the 40 minutes of painful silence we had sat in.

“Oh yeah?” I retorted a little more bitchy than I planned for it to be.

“Mmhm. You live in your twin’s shadow. But you don’t really mind it because it’s what you’re use to at home. Your parents love you but you don’t compare to your brother. They’d rather go to his games than see some art contest you have entered with a mediocre picture of a plant. They always talk about how you have to be the responsible one and put too much pressure on your shoulders when they let whatever Steve does wrong slide.” He said making me roll my eyes.

“My parents and my brother love me and are proud of me. Sounds to me like this is coming from experience. You have a twin you’re hiding somewhere? Is he nicer than you are?” I said as he sat up on his elbows.

“She was.”

“Was?” I asked as Billy took a drag of his cigarette.

“She died last year. Car accident.”

I frowned. I could never imagine losing Steve. He was my best friend. And seemed to be the only person in the world that completely understood me aside from Jonathan, who had been spending more time with Nancy Wheeler than me.

We had the twin telepathy down to a science.

So much so that we could sense one another being in danger, which is how I ended up at the Beyers place right as Max stuck Billy in the neck with a needle. Both steve and Jonathan refused to let me get caught up in the upside down stuff, and had me stay behind waiting for Billy to wake up.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” I mumbled.

He didn’t say anything just laid there until he finished smoking his third cigarette in the past hour, standing to his feet losing his balance and catching himself on the wall.

“Hey, hey” I said getting up and catching him by his arm. “You were sedated. So you might want to sit down for a little bit longer until it fully wears off.”

He reluctantly let me help him to the couch him slamming down with a thud as I sat down next  to him. He laid his head back looking over at me. “You know, you’re one of the only girls in school who hasn’t thrown herself at me”

I snorted a laugh picking up my book.

“It’s kind of a bummer because you are easily the prettiest girl in school. And one with an actual personality.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm as a smiled grew on Billy’s face.

“You’re an ass to my brother and almost killed him tonight. My brother is included in the people Max wants you to leave alone. Got it?”

His smiled faded and he rolled his eyes lighting another cigarette.

“Whatever. Where are my keys?” He asked patting himself down looking out the window than back at me when he saw his car missing.

“They took my car!?”

“Yeah…about that. Before you completely lose your cool, don’t. They just had to borrow it for a little while” I said which was technically true.

Billy grumbled something before standing up and walking out the door with me following behind him. “Listen you don’t have to talk to me but, I’m going to need you to stay….please”

He was the last person I wanted to be around if a demadog decided to show up and try and kill us, but at least I wouldnt die alone if it did happen. Being scared was an understatement .

“I need to find Max. Now.” He said as he continued to walk down the Beyers’ drive way. Me following closely behind him. “I didn’t invite you to come Harrington” he said.

I rolled my eyes wrapping my arms around my waste. I wasn’t going to even try and argue with him about staying or me going where ever he decided to look for Max at.

“Just be careful ok?” I yelled as he held up his middle finger to me.

————-

“You go home Stevie. I’ll take Max in Billy’s car and you take the others. Ok?” My brother nodded throwing me the keys to the Camero.

Steve got in his car with the boys while I got in Billy’s with Max. Driving off in the direction Max told me to go in.

“Thank you, by the way. For saving my brother.” I said breaking the silence. “Oh…you’re welcome.  I like you and Steve. You two are cooler and nicer than Billy” She said making me smile.

“Consider yourself my unofficial official little sister.” I said. A smile grew across her face but quickly faded as we both noticed at the same time Billy walking down the street. I pulled over honking at him. “Look who I found” I yelled nodding over to Max.

He looked over angrily as Max climbed in the back seat. He walked over to the drivers side opening the door as I slid over to the passenger side.

“Get out. I’m not taking you home” he said harshly. Max popped her head between the both of us glaring at Billy.

“Need me to remind you of the little conversation we had earlier Billy?” Max grabbed my brother’s nail bat showing it off to him. “This time I won’t miss.”

“Okay, okay, okay. Fine. I’ll take her home. But first i need to get you home before Dad and your mom file a missing person report”

Max turned to me and smiled smugly before sitting back in the seat.

“Sisters?” she said sticking her pinky finger. I hooked mine with hers. “Sisters”

———-

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Hargrove,” I apologized walking up the steps to their house

“I just assumed that Max told you we were together. It was a mistake on my end. The club i’m in at school got assigned an 8th grader to be a big sister to and Max and I was paired up. I helped her with some homework and then we went to get some dinner. Billy found us at the diner so he offered me a ride home. I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I’m Noelle Harrington. Noah, for short.”

“Oh honey, that is a beautiful name. Thank you for taking care of my baby girl. You are welcome here for dinner anytime seeing that you are her big sister at school.” Mrs. Hargrove said with a smile.

I returned one looking down at Max. “Ok, Squish. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Max smiled and nodded ducking into the house her mom following her lead. “It was very nice meeting you, Noah. I better let Billy get you home before your parents get worried” she said leaving Billy and I alone on the front steps.

The ride to my house was silent but i could feel Billy staring at me every so often.

“I’m sorry for hurting Steve like I did.” He said pulling into my driveway.

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. You need to apologize to Steve….and Lucus. Listen, I don’t know what goes on in that head of yours but the way you harbor your feelings and emotions is unhealthy. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here for you.” I said getting out of the car.

“Have a good night, Noah” he grumbled peeling out of my drive way

————-

Two days later, Billy started showing up at my house knocking on my window to come in. And I let him, it took almost a full month for him to fully open up to me about his father, which was when he started to spend the night.

This brings us to now, Billy asleep beside me. Four months later. We had become almost best friends, in the way that when none of his school friends were around he was nice to me, but when they were he wasn’t. It kinda sucked, but I let it happen.

I held my breathe as Billy stirred in his sleep and just like clockwork he sat up getting out of my bed and putting last night’s clothes on. I heard my window unlatch and him quietly crawl out shutting it. I waited a good twenty minutes before I could bring myself to get up and get ready for school.

It was time to go back to Billy being the king of Hawkins and me being Steve’s sister.