there just plates

2

first official Critical Role art, here we go!

if you aren’t following my personal blog, you probably don’t know that I’ve been mildly obsessing over watching this show since may 2016 (and have been “almost caught up” since like december, but they keep airing new episodes). it just took me this long to post art of it because headcanons are hard, man :0 these are still subject to change, and I may have forgotten some canon details, but it felt good to be able to do some art again!

A Hunter’s Guide to Effective Pick Up Lines, as Organized by Guardian Type

Titans:

  • How many corpses did you leave in your wake when you shoulder-charged your way out of heaven?
  • You’ve skated directly into my heart.
  • Did you just polish that plate? Because I can see myself in your armor.
  • Is that a towel on your butt, or are you just wearing a towel on your butt?
  • Want to share my cloak? Naked?

Warlocks

  • Hey, want to make like a couple of particles and smash into each other a bunch, but in a sexy way?
  • Guess who’s got two thumbs and is a paracausal, undead killing machine with a respectable sex drive and several centuries worth of experience?
  • Your robes would look way less dumb on my bedroom floor.
  • I didn’t understand any of the words you just used.
  • What the hell is a quark?

Hunters

  • That cloak looks like it’s big enough for two.
  • Want to go get drunk and do something stupid?
  • Nice cloak. Mine’s nicer.
  • Bet I can undress before you can.
  • I expect you to keep me up all night long. Otherwise, I might have a nightmare and kill you in my sleep.

- A Hunter’s Guide to Survival // Anonymous

okay so i was having thoughts this morning about how i believe that obi-wan was probably t h e best master for anakin under the circumstances (and a few others) and how as much as i hate predestination, if you accept anakin as (one of?) the chosen one(s), then he is fated to bring about the fall of the Jedi - cos you can’t have balance when the lightside outnumbers the darkside by as much as it does. and i started thinking about how what if the universes where obi-wan is his master greatly delays him fucking off to the darkside and bringing about the end of the Order? well, he was all of 23 when that happened, which means in other universes, where obi-wan is not his master, he probably abandons the order much younger than that.

okay, so - an au where.

an au where qui-gon lives. despite reasons why it probably wouldn’t happen, he becomes anakin’s master, obi-wan fucks off to do Knight Things and Grow As His Own Person. anakin has his canonical crisis of faith and great realization that being a jedi is difficult and not actually all that he thought it was going to be. he fucks off from the order - say around the age of fifteen?

qui-gon, despite everything, goes off to hunt him. despite this “betrayal”. after all, anakin is the chosen one, right? so he even goes so far as to call in obi-wan to help him find anakin. meanwhile, anakin is employing every last trick in the book to remain out of reach. he won’t go back - he won’t. he can do more good out there in the galaxy, instead of tied down by the (hostile, tbh) jedi order.

it just so happens that obi-wan finds him. rather than try to arrest him or anything (leaving the order is not a ‘take into custody’ offense, as obi-wan well knows) and actually talks to anakin about the reasons why he’s fucked off. he finds the reasons understandable. besides, becoming a jedi is not being conscripted. anakin has the right to leave if he feels like it. obi-wan tells him that it’s fucking dangerous for a half-trained force sensitive out there in the wild galaxy, but when anakin doesn’t change his mind (because he’s hella stubborn tbh) obi-wan is just like “welp” and lets him go. he tells qui-gon he never found anakin, but that it’s really unreasonable to hunt the kid down for fucking off. it’s another thing that qui-gon and obi-wan don’t see eye-to-eye with.

so that’s that, right? they’ll never see the chosen one again.

but wait, there’s more. So of course the Sith find anakin. he must bring balance to the force. Dooku and Sidious play bad cop/good cop until anakin is firmly under Sidious’ thumb. (presumably, Qui-gon would have found nine hundred different ways to keep anakin away from palpatine, who might even have been the one to plant the idea of running off into anakin’s head on the few times when he was allowed to speak with the kid). anakin goes corrupt, as you do when siths are fucking with your head, and the story proceeds.

here it is, the fall of the jedi order, and order 66.

ymmv what happens to qui-gon. does he live through even this? or is he shot down protecting obi-wan? in either case, obi-wan survives as he tends to, trying to regroup with the rest of the surviving Jedi. of course, you have this wretched sith lord, Darth Vader, hunting them all down. his skill with a blade is unparalleled. no jedi who has faced him has survived.

when he finds them, obi-wan stays back, sacrificing himself to save the others. and yet, to his surprise, darth vader does not kill him. darth vader himself does not understand entirely why, only that once when he was very young, a jedi heard him out and let him go.

he does not let obi-wan go, but neither does his blade fall.

Save Me A Dance

Pairing: Y/N/Calum

Rating: All

Request: Yes

Words: 4.000+

Summary: Y/N is sad at her best friend’s wedding when realizing that she’s so behind, she doesn’t have a future with someone and most probably will end up alone. That changes when Calum catches her at the hallway ready to leave and proves that it doesn’t take the title of husband and wife to have the best dance of her life

Keep reading

CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE SOME BATFAM THINGS THAT INCLUDE KATE KANE AND TERRY MCGINNIS PLEASE

Like honestly I’ve been reading a lot of batfam fics recently and I always get sad when Kate Kane and Terry aren’t in them. BB was my fave series and I just!!

I want a fic where the Justice League (or Young Justice, maybe all of them together) decide to have a cookout because they’re fun and everyone deserves a break once in a while

They meet Batman’s family, and are like “Bruce when did you have time to adopt so many kids” because like

Dick is casually walking on his hands and Jason is slowly getting more annoyed that he can’t stay up as long as Dick can, and Damian and Tim are just at each other’s throats because “for the last time Damian, I am not going to send Aquaman into the Phantom Zone because 1) I physically cannot do that and 2) just because he talks to fish doesn’t make him the harbinger of the apocalypse”

Steph and Barbara are casually filming the entire thing and Alfred just makes sure nothing gets broken

And Duke and Harper have fun pranking everyone and Cassandra makes sure everyone is having fun in that eerily quiet way of hers (”Bruce Cassandra just smashed a hotdog onto my plate” “Just eat it Diana” “Bruce i’m vegetarian” “Well that’s your own fault indulge my daughter”)

Kate Kane is there an totally strikes up a conversation with Wonder Woman and she’s just the Cool Wine Aunt who tries to help Jason pick up girls and generally helping her nieces and nephews with pranks (”Kate I thought I said you could not give Damian a grappling hook for his birthday” “Why not? He loves it!” “Because he used it to swipe food off the dinner table and Jason convinced Dick that he could use it to reenact Sia’s Chandelier” “Ooh I wish I could have seen that” “I got him to do Wrecking Ball and the chandelier fell wanna see the video?” “Not helping, Jason.”)

And the Young Justice team thinks it’s so cool that Dick and Tim have all these siblings who fight crime too and try to rope them into joining until Jason is just like “Listen I died last time we went on patrol” “Jason you ripped your pants on a fence trying to one-up Damian in parkour skills” “Shut up Dick I’ll replace you with BatCow on the next patrol”

And suddenly the pictures are being passed around and everyone is cooing over how cute Damian was or puzzled over why there’s a selfie of Stephanie and Tim when Dick is in the background trying to keep a set of curtains from completely catching fire and yelling at Jason, until suddenly, they come to a photo of Batman Beyond

Green Arrow asks who it is and Batman answers with the most serious face:

“That’s my half-clone and biological son Terry. He pops in from the future from time to time.”

And then they actually get the chance to meet Terry somehow and everyone is baffled because they all thought Damian was the only biological kid Bruce had, but here’s Terry just lounging in the living room wearing his Beyond suit and complaining about the Bachelor while eating ice cream straight out of the carton because “This is entertainment?? Come on, we all know Vanessa can do better than Sean, he’s not even cute!” and just generally being confused about this timeline and saying how everything is “So Schway” and of course the brothers retaliate with “Oh my god, Terry stop trying to make schway happen, it’s not gonna happen”

It’s all just a chaotic confusing mess and Wally couldn’t be happier because he thought his family was a mess, what with all the time paradoxes and time traveling and just being very bad at not running into your other family member with super speed

Cooking Prompts

- You don’t know how to cook more than ramen so I’m trying to teach you but all you have to eat is ramen and a single carrot. How are you alive?

- I needed you to go grocery shopping for me because I love to cook but you have no clue what you’re doing. Also, how do you not know what a radish is? Have you been living under a rock or?

- You are an amazing cook and just watched me eat microwave popcorn for all 3 meals today and I think you’re going to punch me.

- You just made what you think is a really easy dish but I’m actually crying at how good it is. No, I’m fine, I’m just in love with your cooking so much. Please, will you make me more food in the future?

- For my birthday you bought me 3 different cookbooks and I get the hint. You want me to actually make food for once. But dude, it’s hard and takes time to do that.

- We’ve stayed home all day so neither of us have changed but when you started cooking you put on an apron. Now I just realized you are in fact naked wearing a apron and wow you just made cooking sexy.

- “I tried to make you a birthday cake but it completely flopped so now your cake is just a plate of marshmallows. I’m sorry.”

- “I forgot that you’re allergic to (insert food) and I accidentally put some in your meal. Now our dinner date is spent at the hospital.”

- “We’re trying to cook a nice meal together but I’m really clumsy so I dropped everything on the ground. So now we’re eating pizza and watching movies together.”

Do you care about our planet?

The animal industry has done a really good job of paying off the right people to keep their mouths shut about their role in hurting our planet, because everyone only talks about cars and light bulbs.

However, animal agriculture is the number one cause of:

• greenhouse gases
• habitat loss/deforestation
• species extinction
• ocean acidification
• ocean dead zones
• coral bleaching
• climate change
• water shortages
• desertification

Earth Day is meant to celebrate the earth and bring awareness to how much we need to protect it. So in light of that, today would be a great day to go vegan!

Every day a vegan can save:

• 1100 gallons/~4167 litres of water
• 30 square feet/~2.8 sq meters of forest
• 45 pounds/~20kg of grains
• 20 lbs/9 kg of CO2 emissions
• 1 animal’s life

It’s one of the single most effective things you can do for our planet, and you can’t go fully vegan, it’s still helpful to cut back whenever you can. If anyone has any questions at all please don’t hesitate to message me.

Please leave all animal products off your plate, not just for the sake of animals and yourself, but for our entire planet. Happy Earth Day!