there is nothing worse in life

About Me

I was tagged by @rozigetsfit (thanks!) for this one.

One insecurity: Rejection. I’ve spent most of my life “on the outside looking in” and I am always concerned I’ll never be totally accepted in a group. This is worse now that I am a lot older than most of the people I socialize with and I know my references are gonna be a LOT different from theirs.

Two fears: At my age I do not fear death: I don’t seek it or look forward to it but I’m not going to bust myself trying to prevent it. But my biggest fear is living a life that is nothing: just existing in a bed somewhere having someone else tend to my basic needs without me taking any part, or at best a minimal part. (That’s a major reason I started this journey.) That and losing touch with my family and friends.

Three turn-ons: Books - really any media - about people shrinking (scroll down my blog and check out my reviews of Just a Few Inches), music with a good beat and sharp, clean harmonies, and sentimental old-style romance

Four life goals: To complete a marathon, to see my grandchildren succed in their adult lives, to complete a bicycle ride of over 100 miles and to carry the torch as part of an Olympic cross-country relay

Five things I like: Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate (72% cacao or higher), Doctor Who, the Beatles, spending time with my grandkids, long bicycle rides

Six weaknesses: I am too empathetic to people’s “sob stories”, probably too forgiving, too much a sucker for a guilt trip, too trusting, too prone to panic attacks, and too quick to look at any problem and ask, “How was this my fault?”

Seven things I love: Being accepted by others, being included in group activities, Long bike rides on summer evenings, picnics in the park, people not being judgmental, a little gratitude for a job well done, quality time with family and friends

Eight people that I’m tagging: My apologies to anyone who’s already done one of these. Really, anyone who’d like to can take part! @therunningphysicist@sternenblumen @teaofdreams @the–witcheress @lil-miss-confidence @odd-ponderer @sagecedarsrunning @madisonrobingetsfit

There is two types of anger. There is an anger when you can’t see because your eyes are blurry from the tears you can’t stop crying. When your laying on the bathroom floor shaking hopelessly. Then there is the kind where you face is stone cold, you have nothing; no way you can express yourself. You voice gets sharp and you feel nothing. The difference between these two seems to be that you care too much, or you’re completely done. I honestly don’t know which is worse, but I can tell you that once you feel either of these over something; you shouldn’t feel it over that same thing again. A mistake happens once, if it is done again it is a choice. Remember that.
—  knm-11 
Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they become the worse type of person. Unfortunately, they end up hurting themselves in the long run. They don’t want to hurt other people. It is against their very nature. They want to make amends and undo the wrong they did. Their life is a wave of highs and lows. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.
—  Shannon L. Alder
@the Voltron Fandom

I know everyone’s having a lot of fun mocking the Shiro and Slav moments, but can we please stop and reflect critically on those moments and that character?

Because I’m really fucking tired of seeing my mental illness turned into a joke.

As someone who actually has OCD, I felt sick to my stomach every time Slav garnered annoyed reactions from the cast, and felt even worse when the narrative did nothing to condemn them for judging a character on “quirks” that mirrored a real-life mental illness. This has only been hammered in even more since the fandom started treating it like a really ugly meme.

So yeah, if we can treat Shiro’s PTSD with something approaching respect, can we please do the same regarding what is very clearly meant to be a bastardized version of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

Because I don’t feel safe anymore.

(Reblog if you can, please.)


     The government is in charge of matching everyone up with a partner, the person they believe you are the most compatible with. You get assigned Jungkook, who looks perfect on his profile and even more perfect in person. You are later reminded however, that perfection does not exist, and not everything in life goes as planned.

  » 01 | 02  | 03 | 04 | 05 | Epilogue (Completed)

     As a young girl you dreamt of hearing the bells, the ones that signaled you had found your soulmate, the missing piece everyone was so desperate to find. After falling in love with Jimin you abandoned the search, hoping you would come to never hear the bells, preferring to continue your life with him uninterrupted. You’d soon come to learn the harshness of fate, and that it doesn’t care about your hopes, feelings, or you.

    »  01  || 02  || 03 (Ongoing)

    In the world there are two types of people, them and Carriers. You’re a Carrier, one of the people that have been selected the bear the sadness of the world. You thought that was how you would live and die–at least you did, before you met Suga.

    »  01 | 02 | 03 (Ongoing)

     Seven men helped shape you into who you are. Whether they were friends, enemies, or lovers, they all left a long lasting mark on your life, for better or for worse.

  » Lust | Gluttony | Greed (1) | Greed (2) | Sloth | Wrath | Envy (Completed)


» 20 Minutes

» Lust

»Intuition

»Seven Minutes in Heaven

» Strength

» What You Deserve  


Schedule 

When a kid falls down, the parents tell them that it’s nothing and that it doesn’t hurt as much and that it isn’t as bad as it looks and that they have to walk it off. I think I became that parent to myself. I asked myself to walk it off even when I couldn’t crawl and I told myself that the mess of my heart wasn’t as bad as it looked even though it was worse and the worst part is that everyone around me believes that I am okay even when I am not. So maybe I am a very good of an actor or nobody cares to look deep enough. And I tell myself that it’s the former and not the latter but who am I kidding, it is the latter.

I think it’s easier to tell yourself that you are doing okay even when you are not. It’s easier to lie to the world when you are good at lying to yourself

You know what makes Dear Evan Hansen so special and realistic and relatable? He has social anxiety and depression and he comes from a normal surrounding. I think people tend to think that depressed people go through extreme situations (abuse, neglect, drugs, traumatizing events), and while that’s true, depression isn’t always like that. But when you’re from a “normal” environment and you say you’re depressed or suicidal people tend to think you’re exaggerating and drowning in a glass of water, you get comments like “things could be worse” or “what could you be depressed about? Your life’s good” and that’s very insensitive and doesn’t help, it does the opposite: you feel ashamed, guilty and ungrateful because they’re virtually right and that makes you’re depression worse. There’s nothing particularly bad about your life, but just because there’s nothing bad it doesn’t mean is good either. And what you’re really saying with that is “I have this idea of what depression looks like and what causes it and you don’t fit so it’s not valid or real”.

But Evan feels alone because he’s invisible at school, his mother is rarely around and he thinks she hated him and Jared always tells him they’re family friends and not real friends. He may mean it as a joke since in Good For You he tells Evan he should remember who are his real friends, but when you don’t know where you stand in most of your relationships comments like that can hurt and you may not be able to realize they’re meant as a joke because when they come from anyone else they’re not, so you don’t know the difference.

Evan has a normal life but he still has depression, because that’s how mental illnesses are: they’re triggered by different situations for different people. What may not kill you may kill other people. And I’m tired of depression always being linked to extreme situations on tv shows, books and movies cause it only fuels that myth. DEH is good and real and relatable because it breaks that myth, and deals with it beautifully. When his mother finds out about how he feels at first she’s angry, but I think she’s more angry at herself than Evan cause she feels she’s not enough and she doesn’t know what she’s doing wrong, but in So Big/So Small she realizes that she’s human and she’s not perfect, and so isn’t Evan. And she accepts him, tells him that she loves him and hugs him. Instead of telling him he has “no real reason” to feel miserable.

DEH deals with a depiction of depression more close to mine than any other I’ve seen before. And I hope people watch it and realize people can be depressed in all kind of environments and situations. Extreme or not. And it’s still VALID.

Suicide

Don’t leave me,
at least not yet,
Stay for a while, let me
change your mind.
There’s no turning back,
what if you survive?
Maybe don’t die?
What if the state you’re left in prevents you from doing it again?
Life would still be hell…
Just worse.
Now you can’t get up and walkaway
pick up your headphones and listen to music,
and wasn’t it you who told me that life is nothing without music?
Well…just thought I’d let you know, even though you aren’t here…
You were right.

The Chamber of Secrets, a summary
  • Dobby: Harry Potter must not go to Hogwarts!
  • Harry: The fuck are you Hogwarts4lyfe
  • Dobby: *Pudding crashes and burns worse than Snape's love life*
  • Uncle Vernon: HARRY DIDJA PUT YER NAME IN THE GOBLET AHV FYA- I mean *clears throat* NO FOOD FOR YOU BITCH WELCOME TO CONCENTRATION CAMP DURSLEY
  • Harry: fuck
  • Ron: *mass breakout*
  • Vernon: *falls out window*
  • Fred'n'George: sup
  • Mrs. Weasley: BoYs YaLl DoNe It NoW GeT yo SoRrY AsSeS oVeR HeRe- except you Harry nothing's ever your fault an btw thanks for almost getting my son killed last year
  • Ginny: *highkey stalker*
  • Floo powder: lol you thought things would go right in your life
  • Draco: *exists*
  • Harry: He'S FuCkInG Up tO SoMeThInG
  • Hagrid: *saves Harry from being raped*
  • Hermione: sup
  • Lockhart: OMG IT'S HARRY POTTER HERE TO BOOST MY HALLWAY CRED- I mean- *coughs* you have a few fans yourself, I hear- HERETAKEMYBOOKSTAKETHEMALL
  • Lucius: *is an ass*
  • Aurthur: *fights a bitch*
  • Lucius: *here have this book it's pretty and talks to you but be careful it may possess you*
  • Platform 9 3/4: *is an ass*
  • Ron: Let's just take the flying car illegally instead of just owling Hogwarts or waiting for my parents
  • Harry: k
  • Car: *eighties action music*
  • Harry: can you hear that?
  • Ron: we must be getting close!
  • Harry: hold on-
  • *music grows louder*
  • Hogwarts express with Thomas face on it: DUN DUN DUN DUUN DUN DUN, DUUUUN
  • Car: *crashes*
  • Tree: *is an ass*
  • McGonagall: Idfc just go away here have a sandwich
  • Hermione: sup
  • Shit: hello friends
  • Wall: ThE ChAmBeR Of SeCreTS HaS BeEN OPenEd EnEmIeS oF The HeiR BeWArE
  • Mrs. Norris: hanging by noose from ceiling
  • Harry Ron and Hermione: *are there*
  • Filch: Y'all killed my cat IMMA KILL YA
  • Dumbledore: Bruh you accusing the great Harry Potter?!? If it was anyone else I wouldn't care but since it's Harry SHUT UP
  • Malfoy: *is a slithery Slytherin*
  • Harry: He's the heir
  • Hermione: *starts making potion*
  • Myrtle: *moans*
  • Colin: *takes pictures of Harry*
  • Harry: ew fuck stop
  • Lockhart: StOp YoU cAn'T bE MoRe PopUlAr thAn mE- I mean *coughs* it's unwise to hand out pictures until you're as famous as me
  • Harry: *gets detention* *is worse than Umbridge's blood quill* *hears hissing* *doesn't suspect it could be a snake which is the animal that hisses*
  • Hermione and Ron: sup
  • Harry: can you hear that
  • Ron and Hermione: wtf no you must be insane
  • Harry: lol tru
  • Lockhart: *has dueling club*
  • Snape: *kicks his ass with the disarming spell*
  • Lockhart: totally meant for that to happen now give me a moment while I restart my heart
  • Hermione: *is killed by Millicent but somehow manages to get a hair*
  • Snape: Harry fight Draco
  • Harry and Draco: *fight*
  • Draco: *snakeness intensifies*
  • Harry: (to snake) bruh calm down mate
  • Snake: k
  • Snape: *kills snake*
  • Ernie: Bruh you tryina kill me
  • Harry: lol no but I should asshole
  • Ron: Harry why didn't you tell me you had a completely dead ability when you didn't even know it existed or that it was rare
  • Harry: idk snakes are cool
  • Person: *petrified*
  • Teachers: maybe we should give a shit
  • Dumbledore: lol nope
  • Quidditch: *happens*
  • Draco: training for the ballet, Potter?
  • Harry: *trains for ballet* *breaks arm*
  • Lockhart: OMG GET OUT OF MY WAY I HAVE TI HEAL HARRY IT WILL BOST MY READERSHIP I mean *coughs* I've done this a thousand times
  • Harry's Arm: *is bendy*
  • Harry: *goes to infirmary* *hears extremely important information*
  • Polyjuice: *happens*
  • Draco: blah blah blah mud blood blah blah blah poor blah blah blah whydoesntpotterloveme
  • Draco: *isnt heir*
  • Harry and Ron: well shit *get the hell outta doge*
  • Hermione: *is cat*
  • Harry: *finds moist book in a girl's bathroom* Imma take this
  • Harry: *ignores more murderous hissing*
  • Diary: hello friend no more sadness today
  • Harry: seems legit
  • Diary: here look at this memory I'm Tom Riddle
  • Harry: k
  • Memory: *happens*
  • Harry: boi why da fk you lyin
  • Hagrid: *is taken to Azkaban because we needed to introduce it for the next book*
  • Harry and Ron: *follow spiders*
  • Spider dude: We do not speak the name of the giant snake in your pipes now excuse me while my children murder you
  • Car: *is real hero of the story*
  • Hermione: *is petrified*
  • Harry and Ron: Shit
  • Hermione: *has clue casually hidden in her hand but takes weeks to find*
  • Harry: ohh it's a Basilisk dats why I can hear it
  • Ginny: *is taken*
  • Professors: *finally give a shit*
  • Lockhart: lol nope
  • Harry: lol yup
  • Myrtle: yah that sink with the snake on it. I mean, it would've been helpful to tell you about it before but whatever have fun
  • Harry: k thx
  • Myrtle: Harry when you die you should stay in here and fuck me
  • Ron: bye bitch
  • Harry: *hisses*
  • Draco: *in dungeons* *gets boner*
  • Chamber: *is opened*
  • Lockhart: I LOVE YOU HARRY! I mean- *coughs* say goodbye to your memories imma just take credit for your stories like I did for erryone else
  • *uses Ron's broken wand* *hits himself* *cavern collapses conveniently blocking Ron and Douchehart on one side and Harry on the other*
  • Ron: lol rip
  • Harry: k bye
  • Ginny: *is almost dead*
  • Harry: shit
  • Tom: *is hot* *appears menacingly*
  • Harry: sup Tom wanna help
  • Tom: lol nope *takes Harry's wand*
  • Harry: Bruh give me my wand
  • Tom: Snakey go kill this twelve year old
  • Harry: *runs*
  • Snake: *is blinded by random phoenix*
  • Harry: *stabs snake with magic sword* *gets bit* *stabs book*
  • Ginny: sup omg Harry that look like it hurts
  • Harry: *gives speech*
  • Fawkes: *cries*
  • Harry: yay I'm healed
  • Fawkes: gets them past all the boulders magically
  • All: *are free*
  • Dobby: *socks are lyfe*
  • Harry: *roast*
  • Credits: *roll*

So yeah, I did the do guys. I watched the last episodes of Naruto Shippuden. This very important part of my life is officially over. Needless to say, never before have I ever witnessed worse ending in a story. And it is a thousand times more painful when the victim is this extension of myself. Where is Naruto’s happiness? Where is his closure? This hurt child who has gone through hell and was barely shown in his own story’s ending. The only worthy moments were Naruto’s request of Iruka being his “father” in his wedding and maybe the Iruka/Kakashi interactions, but other than that… nothing. Even the pro-ending-ers can’t possibly genuinely satisfied. And yet all around I see people actually tearing up in joy and feeling glad about it all. I wish I could be this blissfully ignorant. Still, I’m here crying over our sunshine’s lost smile.

It’s high time to accept and let go.

But I can’t.

As much as try, as much as I devote my entire being to another anime, as much as I allow other fandoms to take over my life, in the end, sooner or later, it always comes back to Naruto. I always return. It feels like home. 

So I will stay.

I will stay for Minato’s and Kushina’s sacrifice. I will stay for Itachi’s unconditional love. I will stay for Neji’s freedom. For Lee’s perseverance. For Jiraiya’s teachings. For Sakura’s determination. For Yahiko, Nagato and Konan’s dream of peace. For Obito’s atonement. For Madara and Hashirama’s vision. For Kakashi’s will. 

I will stay for Naruto and Sasuke. 

The destination sucked but the journey has been breath-taking. I will stay for this journey. So as much as I hope you’re out there regretting your decision to let your life’s achievement to be maimed so mercilessly, I thank you Masashi Kishimoto. Thank you for this masterpiece you brought to life. Thank you for the feelings and the life lessons. 

And I know this fandom has always been a bloody war zone, but I hope that in the finale, both those who leave and those who stay, we can hold onto the good memories. Because despite our deferences, we can agree; it was one hell of a ride! 

Thank you for changing us.

Thank you Naruto.

I See Nothing [Jason Todd x Reader]

It’s been a rough night.

Warning: Angst, A little fluff, Swearing

________

Everyone has a rough night. Some are worse than others. But sometimes, they can completely re-shatter a person.

Jason was having a life shattering night. Everything was going wrong. He failed in saving three people, one of them a kid. Five people were injured under his watch. Tim and Damian had gotten seriously hurt. He felt like he was fucking everything up.

Now Jason was running along a rooftop toward where he heard yelling. Reaching the side of the building he looked down into the alleyway, seeing three thugs backing a girl against a wall. One had a gun and the other two had knives. But the girl, she looked like you.

Not letting another innocent person die tonight he pulled out his two handguns. Taking aim and picking the three off within seconds of his draw. Putting bullets in their skulls. The girl shrieked as he jumped down.

“Are you hurt?” he asked gently. The girl shook her head signaling a ‘no’, but she was traumatized. “The police and an ambulance are on their way” he began to lead her out of the alleyway.

He waited until he heard the police sirens and saw the ambulance loop a corner.

Seeing that he grappled toward his and your apartment. Landing on the fire escape he pushed the window open. Entering through the living room window he saw a small amount of light filtering from the bedroom, you were still up.

Instead of greeting you, he went straight to the bathroom. Tearing off his gear as he went. He didn’t want you to see him right now. He was ashamed.


You heard him come in the window. Looking up from your book and watching the doorway instead. Confused when he never came in you got out from under you blankets and set the book aside.

Walking to the doorway as goosebumps formed on your bare legs.

You looked out seeing the trail of gear heading to the bathroom. Picking up the articles as you followed his trail. Ending up at a closed bathroom door.

‘Something must’ve happened’ you thought, Jason only avoided you when he got home if something went wrong.

Placing his gear on a nearby table in the hallway before lightly knocking on the door.

“Jay?” you called softly. Hearing rustling on the other side off the door. You took a step back from the door when it clicked open.

“Hey babe” he said, sounding depressed. “What’s the matter?” asking as you took a step toward him again and ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine” those words were empty, void of any emotion. He was holding his emotions back again, trying to sound ok. He wasn’t fooling you.

“Jay, tell me what’s actually wrong. You won’t be able to come to terms with anything that happened tonight if you don’t talk to me.” He knew you were right but he just couldn’t.

He walked back into the bathroom, leaning on his hands against the counter. You walked in and leaned on the door way.

Looking up into the mirror, staring at himself. “I’m such a fucking screw up” he began, shocked you didn’t move from your position. You had allow him to let it all go.

Diverting his eyes to the ceramic counter he continued, “I-I couldn’t save them. Three people died tonight because of me. And five were hurt. Not to mention Damian and Tim got severely injured. And instead of even trying to stop three guys I just put bullets through their brains. I promised you I’d only kill if it was necessary and and..” he sputtered, as tears threatened his eyes. He shut his eyes tight and clenched his fists.

Looking back at the mirror he only got angrier with himself. “I don’t know how you can love me. I look at this mirror and I see a screw up. A street kid who shouldn’t have ever been brought back. I see a fucking worthless life. I don’t see anything worth living for, I see nothing!”

Your heart broke at his words, he’d never been this down on himself before. This was the first time you’d seen him break down. He bowed his head again as he finally let everything go. He sniffled and wheezed, causing your heart to break more.

Walking into the bathroom you began to rub small circles on his back. He wouldn’t look at you. Trying to calm him down your hand continued it’s motion, shushing. 


He started to calm down, “Jay.. Jay look at me” you encouraged softly. Tugging on his upper arm to entice him.

When he finally stood in front of you and met his blue eyes with yours. Cupping his face before asking, “Do you want to know what I see?”

His expression turned to a small hint curiosity. Rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, “I see someone who’s scarred. Someone who was broken when they were once solid. Who was sewn back together, in a different way then where they started. I see strength and kindness. Someone merciless yet gentle. Someone who cares deeply for the innocent people of this world and is willing to put their physical and mental health on the line for them. I see someone beautiful even when they’re shattered. A man whose been through hell and back but still can see the light in the world. I see someone I love more than life itself.”

You noticed his once tense muscles relax and his expression soften. “Jay, you’re not worthless or a screw up. You may see nothing worthy, but I see something worthwhile.” You smiled, your own tears trailing down your cheeks.

“I love you Jason, and no matter what happened out there I will always love you.” you hugged him tightly. Your hands threaded through his hair. Arms wrapping around your waist as he completely relaxed. His head weighing on your shoulder.

“I don’t deserve you” voice muffled by your shirt.

“Yes you do” Pulling his head off your shoulder and resting your forehead to his. “And don’t you dare think otherwise”

“I love you so goddamn much” he shook his head before pulling you into the most loving and passionate kiss.

Pulling away you took his hand tugging him out of the bathroom. “You need sleep, and you’re not going out tomorrow night. I’m calling out sick and we’re going to stay in the apartment and enjoy each others company. You need a day off.” You instructed as you lead him into the bedroom.

You handed him a pair of sweatpants when you entered the room. “Sound like a plan?” asking as he took the item.

“Yes ma’am” he kissed you again before changing into the sweatpants. As he changed you crawled back into bed and waited for him.

He did not take long to join you. When he got into bed with you he buried his head in your neck as you ran your hands through his hair. Emotionally and physically exhausted he fell asleep to the feeling of your hands in his hair.

Often you’d be the one wrapped in his arms in a protective manner, but tonight you were protecting him

________

I’m also taking requests for prompts and aesthetics!

Here’s my rules and a prompt list!

there’s nothing worse than knowing you have repressed memories but not knowing what they are. it’s such a surreal kind of paranoia. you can’t trust anybody you know because you dont know who did it, even if theyre someone you really truly love. everyone in your life is a suspect. there’s nothing left but high-strung paranoia.

Umbrella Thief (Lin/Reader)

this is sucky i’m so sorry (the way i wrote Lin is awful and i didn’t check it through so)

Length: 1,503 words

Warnings: None

Prompt: You and Lin have a mix up of posessions

Note: thanks to @buckybarneshairpullingkink for this idea <3

reviews give me life and motivation <3


un.

The dismal weather that day did nothing to improve your mood.

You’d been a whirlwind of hidden aggression this that morning when you’d stubbornly refused to acknowledge your alarm clock. You’d missed your bus, spilt coffee down yourself and, just when you thought that series of particularly cliché events couldn’t get any worse, your boss had chosen that particular moment to tell you how you’d be denied the promotion you so desperately needed.

You didn’t expect your day to get much worse.

After work, and despite the onslaught of rain, the small café across the street called you. It was a warm comfort from your walk in the rain, the chatter enveloping you, the acoustic music and sweet scent of coffee luring you in.

You shook a few droplets of rain from your sodden coat and green umbrella, stamping your feet in an effort to get the warmth to return to your toes. You put your umbrella in the stand, paying it no mind as you shed your coat and found yourself a nice window seat.

The café was mostly empty, meaning the service was quick and the laughter mild. You sighed contentedly the moment you were presented with a steaming coffee, the warmth seeping from the ceramic mug into your numb fingers.

You were happy to be by yourself for a few moments, the anger of today leaving you. You closed your eyes pleasantly, the moment of peace filling you—

—Only to be startled by someone walking into your chair. Your eyes flew open, and you almost spilt your coffee again. You looked up, the handsome man standing above you apologising profusely, cursing under his breath.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry. Sorry, sorry—” His eyes widened as he noticed your coffee. “Shit. I didn’t make you spill any, did I? If I did I can repay it—”

“I didn’t spill anything,” you assured him hastily. “It’s fine, honestly. You just go, it’s fine.”

The stranger nodded, muttered his last apologies before making his way past you, almost knocking into the umbrella stand as he received his umbrella. You watched him go, your moment of peace now disturbed. It was useless trying to get it back.

You finished your coffee not long after, sweeping up your bag and leaving the café. The rain had not ceased yet, as you opened your umbrella, you noticed something off about it.

The handle was black.

Your umbrella had a finely carved handle of dark wood, not a black plastic one. You frowned. Perhaps there had been another green umbrella in the stand, and you’d simply picked up the wrong one.

You turned, going back into the café and peeking around. Your umbrella was nowhere to be seen.

Keep reading

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: why is ravus seen as a horrible big brother? why is he hated? when he approached noctis and the gang, it was to return the sword of the father— everything he did was for luna, too. so tell me why in the HELL he is so hated, what has he done wrong, what did he do to make everyone hate him? because he did what any GOOD sibling would do, he did everything in his power and within his reach to protect the ONLY THING HE HAD LEFT. and even that wasn't enough, he had nothing after luna was murdered. ravus lived and worked among those who ruined his life, had to act as those he respected them??? never once do we see him complain. ravus was dealt a horrible hand, and he made with what was given to him. he had a horrible life, probably worse than luna, but that didn't stop him?? HE WAS GOOD, RAVUS WAS GOOD AND PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.
—  Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness
2

*clears throat*

hello,,, hi. i’m no good at being formal or talking about things seriously (or taking them seriously tbh) but i think for now i need to put the winters legacy on an official hiatus :-/ i’m sorry i know some of you are probably disappointed and i love them but going into their save just turned into such a chore that i never even wanted to do it anymore. i don’t want to end up hating them completely, so for now i need to take a break from them (and feeling bad for not posting them) and have some fun with other things. my posts were turning into all complaints and apologies (kind of like this one oh geez sorry it’s the last i /swear/) and i didn’t like the negative turn it was taking. 

so, i thought maybe i’d jump back into the 100 baby challenge but that save was already so broken and my game was getting too laggy with all the cc and poses that i had to put into it and i just got so frustrated trying to make it work when it clearly wasn’t, so i’ve moved pretty much all of my cc out of my game except genetic things and the hair/clothes you see on the sim above ^ and i’m gonna start fresh,,,,

that being said! say hi to gee lavender!!! they’re a super cool sim :D i’ll probably do more of an introduction to them on their first post but for now you can see what they look like!!! i’m rly excited to play with them and get back into just enjoying the game for what it is and not trying to mold it into what i want it to be so i hope u guys will bear with me and love them too :D