there is nothing impossible for me in this world

  • ily: i love you
  • ilysm: i love you so much
  • intslywwmsigyttrtnlmgbiyrsmiylmfmanetatiwfltycpksicbuicbuaouawcbwcaomwctioinsinebttouhiysipwcjwtwwd: i never thought somebody like you would want me so i give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go but if you really see me if you like me for me and nothing else that's all that i've wanted for longer than you could possibly know so it can be us it can be us and only us and what came before won't count anymore or matter we can try it out it's not so impossible nobody else but the two of us here if you're saying it's possible we can just watch the whole world disappear
If you’re writing a modern day AU where Lance lives in Cuba...

He would unlikely have a laptop.

He would unlikely have a computer.

He would unlikely have a smartphone.

He would unlikely even have running water or air conditioning.

These things are difficult to obtain in Cuba unless you have an immediate relative working out of the country and providing for you.

The internet is near-impossible to come by unless you’re working at a job that requires it (just recently, they’ve allowed internet at a park in my mom’s hometown). Even in the small instances where there is internet, it’s monitored like a motherfucker.

Guys. Cuba isn’t a free world at all, and only people who’ve lived there or been there (as a local and not for tourism; these two experiences in Cuba are vastly different. If you’ve been there as a tourist, let me be the first to tell you that it represents nothing for locals) would know.

Cuba is a corrupted country that runs under strict dictatorship. There is no free speech. I’ve made several fucked-up passing jokes about how Cuba is essentially North Korea of the Caribbean. Because it’s true.

Your best bet is to write Lance not living in Cuba unless a) you are Cuban yourself or b) you are writing in Voltron-verse where Cuba may be free in a world peace sort of utopia.

you know what i realized? i literally just came to my senses and had an epiphany. i’m impossible to get rn, nobody deserves me. i’m not falling for anything til the real deal comes along !anymore! on god i will not give another man the time of day or even look at him until he chases my ass and doesn’t give up !!!!! next ones gonna try to give me the world and nothing less i promise you that

Farewell, Pretty Little Liars.

Today is the day that we must finally say goodbye to Pretty Little Liars. With its never-ending theories and constant renewals, the PLL endgame always seemed like an intangible, abstract and theoretical concept that is just so far away, that it will simply never come. It feels so surreal to say that today is that day, which again, over the years, was never in sight. I thought watching Pretty Little Liars would just be some light, weekly, background entertainment. On June 8 2010, I did not truly know what crazy rollercoaster I had stumbled upon. Through numerous ups and downs, these past 7 years have certainly been unforgettable. If you told me seven years ago that a television show will have such a positive impact on my life, I would have laughed at you and called you dramatic. Tell me that today, and I’ll smile in appreciation at the positive influence and power a television show can bestow upon its viewers.

Not every show makes it to seven seasons, particularly mystery shows. Seven years is a long time. I started watching this show when I was 13, and I am now 19. (I realise I am probably very young in comparison to most other PLL fans!) Just to visually see this: Pretty Little Liars was with me while I was 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19. These are arguably some of the most important years of one’s life. As I grew, PLL grew too, in a literal sense, as we got a time jump where the characters matured, but also in figurative sense, since the stories gradually shifted from being high-school oriented to dark and twisted themed through a demented dollhouse and a psychologically straining board game. All while PLL was on the air, I graduated from primary school and high school, started university, got my driver’s license, my first job, credit card, car, gone overseas by myself, and made life-long friendships. Achieving all that never was easy, but it was made easier by PLL. If I ever struggled in my personal development, I always had PLL to fall back upon for psychological stability and security, aside from general entertainment. A part of me sees the end of PLL as if the training wheels are coming off my bike: for 7 years, I was learning how to become a young man, and now that I finally am one, I no longer need this safety rock that is PLL in order to continue developing.

This long, personal post is dedicated to me and my seven-year relationship with Pretty Little Liars.

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I’m tired of staying up late, just to finish a pointless paper.

I’m tired of waking up before the sun , just to end up falling asleep during class.

I’m tired of wasting my money on a big cup of coffee to make it through the day.

I’m tired of watching best friends talk shit behind each others back and then act like nothing ever happened.

I’m tired of watching people constantly torment each other just for the fun of it.

I’m tired of pretending something is funny, so no one will see I’m hurt.

I’m tired of having the responsibilities of an adult, yet still constantly being treated like a child.

I’m tired of being told the only thing that can fill the void inside of me, is excessive drinking and meaningless hookups.

I’m tired of being given expectations that are impossible to reach.

I’m tired of the continuously changing body standard girls are expected to achieve.

I’m tired of the words skinny, and thick.

I’m tired of girls expecting their boyfriends to buy them the world, and I’m tired of guys expecting girls to be perfect for them.

I’m tired of the word love being thrown around like it’s nothing.

I’m tired of forever, lasting for a day.

I’m tired of the poison in that oddly shaped bottle, telling me it’s going to be okay.

I’m tired of drugs telling me to forget.

I’m tired of my age telling me how to act.

I’m tired of this generation trying to define me.

I’m tired of our society telling me that all of this is okay.

And i’m just tired… of feeling so damn tired all the time.

—  I just need some sleep / SM

     feel free to change any pronouns & such & make it more like your muse would say it, if you need to ! <3

“ have you been writing those letters to yourself? ”
“ dear ____, today’s gonna be a good day & here’s why…”
“ can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh? ”
“ can we buck up just enough to see the world won’t fall apart? ”
“ we’re not giving up before we’ve tried. ”
“ this year, we make a new start. ”
“ perfect. ”
“ i’m proud of you already. ”
“ another stellar conversation for the scrapbook. ”
“ i’m kinda coming up empty. ”
“ does anybody have a map? ”
“ anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? ”
“ i don’t know if you can tell, but this is just me pretending to know. ”
“ i need a clue. ”
“ the scary truth is i’m flying blind. ”
“ i’m making this up as i go. ”
“ you are not missing the first day. ”
“ i already said i’d go tomorrow. ”
“ he doesn’t listen. ”
“ look at him, he’s probably high.”
“ he’s definitely high. ”
“ each days another wrong turn. ”
“ i’ve learned to slam on the brake before i even turn the key. ”
“ give them no reason to stare. ”

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Anne Sexton Quotes for the Signs
  • Aries: "All we need is someone to let us in."
  • Taurus: "I don’t care, I love you anyhow. It is too late to turn you out of my heart. Part of you lives here."
  • Gemini: "I am crazy as hell, but I know it. And knowing it is a kind of sanity…"
  • Cancer: "I met you and unavoidably you were special. So now I love you."
  • Leo: "You are so valuable. You shine out. You are a magic star. You are a body of blood made beautiful. How I admire, sit back and adore you. How thirsty I am for that. How you feed me."
  • Virgo: "Your silence has been with me and I have let it have its say."
  • Libra: "There are a few great souls in my life. They are not many. They are few. You are one."
  • Scorpio: "…Madness is not hysteria. It can be very quiet…"
  • Sagittarius: "I am tired of being brave."
  • Capricorn: "You make me feel like home. You make me feel that the world is not strange."
  • Aquarius: "I wanted to be nothing. I wanted to be impossible."
  • Pisces: "The tongue... is like a sharp knife; it kills without drawing blood."

The Art of Remembering by @swans-and-pirates | [tumblr]  []  [ao3] | au; Killian hasn’t seen Emma in months, not since she ran off in the middle of the night. But when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that she’s been in an accident he rushes to be by her side. Nervous and anxious to see her again he’s not sure what to expect—but he definitely doesn’t anticipate that upon waking she would have no idea who he is. 

“I see…” she says, the green of her eyes meeting his again. “And are you my doctor?”

It’s immediate, the way that one sentence makes his stomach drop and his mouth fall open as he gapes at her.

Her doctor?

He shakes his head, not sure he heard correctly. “Your doctor? Swan, it’s me…Killian.” He’s rambling just a bit and his stomach sinks impossibly closer to the floor when he realizes her eyes hold no recognition. “You…you don’t know me?”

Emma shakes her head. “I don’t. I’m sorry.” She gives him a small, apologetic smile, but all it does is make his world shatter a little more. “But I…I take it I should?”

Killian drags a hand down his face and releases a heavy sigh. “Aye, Swan. You should.”

Hoover Log [Saturday. 21.11.2015 19:00] 

This is a bizarre predicament we have gotten ourselves into. I recall this building has only 3 floors, but we have climbed dozens of flights. It must be at least half an hour since we first ascended these stairs.

Reiner insists I am imagining things.

Hoover Log [???. ??.12.2015 ??:??]

It has been days. Reiner has grown a beard. Yet he continues to deny our situation. It’s his bad habit. But I will not leave him. I will go with him, no matter where this leads us.

Hoover Log [circa 2045] 

I have been approximating the passage of time by the thickness of Reiner’s glutes and thighs, akin to tree growth rings, as we learned in 5th period Bio. They grow outward at a rate of 1mm per 20 flights¹. By my records, it has been 30 years.

1. I am confident in this mode of measurement; I have close knowledge of the secrets of Reiner’s butt, as I see it flex in front of me with each step*.

* I have no objections to this.

Hoover Log [circa 205X?] 

Reiner has at last accepted the painful Truth. The shock of reality has left him in a fragile state, but still we keep climbing. We are Warriors. Ever upwards. This impossible geometry. Where only right turns exist. This 39° incline. I hear angles. I want to kick them.

Hoover-Braun Log [?? ??? ??]

It’s as if we are the last people in this world. Nothing but us two, and the soft sounds of our breathing and footsteps, in unison. All we have is each other. After all, who else can understand?  Husband and I wish for a flat, level life for our future children, Reibert, Reibert Jr., Reibert II, Reibert III, and Bloodstorm the Destroyer.

Fubar Log? [??? ????]

I do not remember my name from the Before Floors. Reiner says that I am taller than him, but I have followed so long on the steps below him that I no longer know what is true. Is there still a world outside this stairwell? Have Ymir and Christa gotten married? Has Jean finally noticed Marco? What are our old friends up to? Are they still alive? Did they ever exist at all?

Somebody, please, find us.

Hoover Log [Saturday. 21.11.2015 19:30]

Erwin-sensei found us :)


Simon Pegg
From Shaun of the Dead to Absolutely Anything.

(I know I’ve skipped a few, but here are the main ones.)

It’s always so difficult to do a Birthday photo for Barbie because everyone I know who does it always uses the blonde blue eyed iterations from throughout the years and I don’t maintain or even *own* that many blonde dolls that could be read as Barbie.

But I had a bit of an epiphany that Barbie, to me, was never about the blonde blue eyed icon. That means nothing to me but an impossible, narrow and overused beauty standard that stood in the way of what I really wanted, which was dolls that reflected the world in my life, with dark hair, dark eyes and dark skin.

So I pulled out the dolls that had been explicitly advertised *as* Barbie, but who definitely wasn’t light skinned, blonde and blue eyed. This is the Barbie I loved, and the one I am always struggling to hold onto because of how difficult Mattel makes it.

Maybe by the time Barbie hits 70, it won’t be weird to feature an exclusively brown doll as the public face of her Instagram, or her birthday, or her social media or even as her celebration doll. But, even with barely two lines full of diversity, her blonde blue eyed physique seems to be a central part of who she is.

i think i’ve always wanted to make a difference in this world. i used to think i could do anything that i set my mind to, but to change the world… that’s nearly impossible. i am only one person. one person out of billions so what makes me important? what are the chances that i can make a difference? i try my best to help people whenever i can but i know it will never be enough. how can one single person save the victims of this sadistic world? i know i cannot make everybody happy but i can’t help but dream. my pain is worth nothing if it means healing other’s, especially their hearts. i’m not sure what my life was meant for and that terrifies me. my dreams may be set too high but there’s just so much pain in this world that i can’t help but want to vanquish it. i want to do something, anything honestly. i want to heal hearts, bring smiles, change perspectives, but i am not sure how. i am not sure if it’s even possible for somebody such as myself.
—  Fears can kill #17 // S.T.

✰ * º ❛ californication sentence starters. ❜


‘  i am not a fucking shrink. i don’t give a shit anyway.  ’
‘  we are not talking! we are not fucking! nothing is happening!  ’
‘  you know me… the talking and the fucking go hand-in-hand.  ’
‘  rehab is for quitters.  ’
‘  you can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her dreams. it’s not gentlemanly.  ’
‘  damn you smell good, like home.  ’
‘  spend the rest of your life with this fool and this fool will spend the rest of his life making sure you don’t regret it.  ’
‘  there’s no easy way to say this so i’ll just say it: i met someone.  ’
‘  there’s this feeling in my gut that she may be the one.  ’
‘  i don’t know how to be with you right now and that scares the shit out of me.  ’
‘  it’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment.  ’
‘  i don’t know what’s going on with us and i can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me.  ’
‘  it’s a lost art, really. like handjobs.  ’
‘  i have a confession to make… i didn’t like you very much at first.  ’
‘  you didn’t seem to have much interest in me, which i of course found vaguely insulting.  ’
‘  funny how some things never change.  ’
‘  i cruised along, doing my thing, acting the fool, not really understanding how being a parent changes you.  ’
‘  i don’t remember the exact moment everything changed. i just know that it did.  ’
‘  loving you has been the most profound, intense, painful experience of my life.  ’
‘  i made a silent vow to protect you from the world, never realizing i was the one who would end up hurting you the most.  ’
‘  when i flash forward, my heart breaks, mostly because i can’t imagine you speaking of me with any sort of pride.  ’
‘  i care for nothing and everything at the same time.  ’
‘  noble in thought, weak in action.  ’
‘  i think that’s the good thing about never being married, it’s impossible to divorce.  ’
‘  i tried, but somewhere along the line, you slip back into what you know and i’m sorry about that.  ’
‘  i’m sorry we haven’t talked in awhile because i miss you.  ’
‘  you’re doing the best you can. you’ve done good.  ’
‘  that fucker is the horniest man i’ve ever met. he’ll be pitching a tent on his deathbed.  ’
‘  don’t tell me what to feel.  ’
‘  all my fucking life people have been telling me i do things wrong. i’m always the fucking asshole. i look around and i see everybody else is infinitely more fucked up than i am.  ’
‘  i’m offering you sex, and you just want to talk? has the earth spun off its axis?  ’
‘  i question everything. it’s very healthy.  ’
‘  you should live with someone who everyday reminds you how fucking lucky you are to be with them.  ’
‘  you don’t want to be with me.  ’
‘  if i were to give myself to you, you would run for the hills ‘cause you’re not in love with me. you’re in love with the idea – the idea of love.  ’
‘  imagine my fucking disappointment when you turned out to be the biggest cliche of all.  ’
‘  a great father is a guy that gives it all up for his family and leaves his self-destructive bullshit at the door.  ’
‘  there isn’t a woman that i’v’e met that i haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.  ’
‘  friends don’t let friends bang each others soulmates!  ’
‘  i consider that whole area – general area – my cock. like, from my knees to nipples.  ’
‘  two people of the opposite gender can’t rendezvous after 7 pm.  ’
‘  life’s just too fucking boring not to try.  ’
‘  i may be easy, but i’m not sleazy.  ’
‘  a morning of awkwardness is far better than a night loneliness.  ’
‘  i like it here. it’s nice. the sun is chirping, the birds are shining. the water’s wet.  ’
‘  life is good, sweetheart. life is good.  ’
‘  you can blame everything on the economy, douchebag.  ’
‘  no man should ever have to bear witness to his “o” face.  ’
‘  you know, it’s not fair to say “b.r.b.” and then never actually b.r.b.  ’
‘  fuck around all you want. i’m no judge judy. but don’t string a woman along for a major chunk of her childbearing years. that’s not cool.  ’
‘  when it comes to emotions, women know how to pain with the full set of oils while men are busy doodling with crayons.  ’
‘  there’s nothing quite like getting stoned on the very bed that your ex-domestic partner shares with her fiance. it’s the little things.  ’
‘  hang out with your wang out, but remember: no gloving, no loving.  ’
‘  hate the game, not the playa.  ’
‘  no matter what you did, don’t give up. do not give up because if she loves you, she’ll forgive you.  ’
‘  things fall apart. they break. that’s life.  ’
‘  despite all evidence to the contrary, i am a gentleman.  ’
‘  i’ve been thinking about us – that’s us with a capitol “u”.  ’
‘  the story of us… how the fuck do i sum it up?  ’
‘  any story with me in the center of it will never be anything less than a big, smiling mess.  ’
‘  our time in the sun has been a thing of absolute beauty.  ’
‘  for years i woke up, fucked up, said i was sorry, passed out, and did it all over again.  ’
‘  i’m a sucker for happy endings.  ’
‘  there’s just the two of us, which can be fucking ugly sometimes.  ’
‘  i didn’t know how to finish it because it’s not over.  ’
‘  it’ll never be over, as long as there’s you, and there’s me, and there’s hope, and grace.  ’
‘  wine me. dine me. stand up 69 me.  ’
‘  one does not very easily forget the kiss of a beautiful woman.  ’
‘  that’s right. i said it. i meant it. i’m here to represent it.  ’
‘  can you slow down? i don’t know why you’re so fucking angry.  ’
‘  i’m not the one who disappeared to the bedroom with that fucking weirdo degenerate.  ’
‘  you’ve got a fucking nerve to take issue with anything i do, ever!  ’
‘  you’re right, but what am i supposed to do? just sit there and watch it happen?  ’
‘  why the fuck did you come here tonight anyway?  ’
‘  there’s always this voice in the back of my head that says ‘maybe this time it will be different, maybe this time the stars will align and there will be this magic moment between us where everything will be okay again.’  ’
‘  there’s always something or someone in the way!  ’
‘  you want me not to see anybody else, just say the word. but if you keep me at arms length, what am i supposed to do? just sit around with a cock-cage on and hope that you’re going to have some kind of epiphany about us?   ’
‘  do you honestly think i care about you fucking someone else? if we’re not together, i don’t expect you to have taken some vow of celibacy.  ’
‘  when i see someone look at you the way i used to look at you… i fucking hate that. it makes me sick to my stomach.  ’
‘  i don’t want to be that person. i don’t want to start playing games and like, trying to get back at you or try to hurt you.   ’
‘  i thought there was something wrong with me, but it’s you. you’re a loser.  ’
‘  i’m sorry you got hurt. i thought we had an understanding.  ’
‘  i swallowed your cum, but worst of all, i swallowed your bullshit.  ’
‘  i guess being there made it easier to forget that i still love the shit out of you. yeah, wow, i said that out loud, didn’t i?  ’
‘  so? i still love you. i always will, till the day i die. but at some point, i had to choose happiness, i had to make that a priority.  ’
‘  i’m with someone who understands that i’ll never stop loving you and that makes me happier than i’ve ever been.  ’
‘  contrary to popular belief, i’m not out there trying to hurt anyone.  ’
‘  by the way, you’re an incredibly woman. very sexual. are you ovulating right now?  ’
‘  don’t blame me because you were born with a clit for a cock and a tiny beanbag to house what passes for balls.  ’
‘  eat my shit.  ’
‘  it makes my labia shrivel.  ’
‘  die young and suffer, dickless.  ’
‘  you can either cry like a bitch or smack a bitch.  ’
‘  what, you going back to your mommy’s? you fucking infant.  ’
‘  sperm would enter my pretty little vajoojoo and my cold black heart would kill that shit dead, son.  ’
‘  trust me, getting your asshole bleached would be much more fun.  ’
‘  you’re like one of those freaky chicks who marries serial killers on death row.  ’
‘  well, if you were not so preoccupied with sticking your dick in anything with a hole that will have you, you might noticed these things.  ’
‘  i want to go back and do it all over again. only this time, not make the same mistakes… this time, do it better. this time do it right.  ’
‘  our best days are behind us now. you’re just chasing a dragon. we’re never going to life happily ever after.  ’
‘  you’re going to die poor, drunk, and alone.  ’
‘  welcome to the place where time stands still, where whisky flows and always will.  ’
‘  i came back… for you. i know it’s overwhelming, disorienting even.  ’
‘  we have to resolve this shit one way or another, don’t you agree?  ’
‘  i say we stay here until we figure it out… or until we both get so fucking horny we can’t stand it. either way, it’s a win-win for both of us.  ’
‘  what is this? explain yourself, woman.  ’
‘  do you realize that the bottom has just officially dropped out of our relationship?  ’
‘  angry? i’m not angry! why would i be angry? i’m not even entitled to angry.  ’
‘  that’s what makes it worse: she was there first.  ’
‘  you might wanna curve your crazy bitch.  ’
‘  why, do you still love her?  ’
‘  are you challenging me right here in my own home?  ’
‘  of course i love you! i’ve always loved you!  ’
‘  i didn’t fuck anyone, if that’s what you were wondering.  ’
‘  who gives diamonds to the homeless? not i.  ’
‘  i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life annoying the shit out of you.  ’
‘  i’m sick and tired of fighting about the past.  ’
‘  home is wherever you are.  ’
‘  you are so full of shit?  ’
‘  other than making the sweet love to me, that’s the nicest thing you could’v done.  ’
‘  you’re right, i know everything there is to know about you.  ’
‘  i am lucky. i’m lucky to have known you, i’m lucky to have loved you.  ’
‘  i like you when you’re crazy.  ’
‘  you have so much shit going on in your life right now, you don’t want to add this to the mix.  ’
‘  thank you for letting me be the crazy one for once.  ’
‘  merry fucking christmas. can we go home already?  ’
‘  it’s your life. if there’s something you don’t like about it, you can change it.  ’
‘  you need to be in the middle of a mess of your own creation, right? that’s what makes you attractive and also, impossible to live with.  ’
‘  impossible is a very strong word.  ’
‘  i love you, but i can’t be with you. when will you accept that?  ’

it’s a whole new world
with people i’ve never met,
with sights i’ve never seen,
with voices i’ve never heard,
with scents i’ve never smelled,
with adventures i’ve never dreamed of.
it’s a whole new world
and i want to love it with all my heart,
but it’s nearly impossible
when you’re not here
to explore it with me.
—  Nothing will ever be perfect unless you’re there // S.T.

If [Nobunaga x MC]

If there was something I yearned to possess entirely, it would be the sound of her voice. In the mornings, she would wake with a soft groan against my ears, and no sooner do these lows turn into giggles when she sees me staring back. A greeting plays between her lips, the hum of her breathing punctuating the first of things I hear in daylight.

If there was something I yearned to possess entirely, it would be his touch. In the mornings, his feather light strokes wake me, making me giggle against the haze of drowsiness. When he pulls me close, I am enveloped with warmth, and the first thing I feel is the beating of his heart.

If there was something I sought to discover continuously, it would be her passion. It is when we come together does she offer herself for the taking. Obedient and submissive, she allows my lips to mark every inch of her skin, and permits my hands to explore through her curves; yet when her body arches towards me, she takes me on, pushes me down, and lets herself go.

If there was something I sought to discover continuously, it would be his reservations. It is when I feel his hands shake when he holds me, afraid that I will break. He regards me with care, his words, genuine, and his reassurance well enough for him as it were for me, and I open myself, all that I am, to him.

If there was something I promised to protect unwaveringly, it would be her heart. Silly thing it is, to be so taken by emotions that are constantly changing. Her heart is so vulnerable, having been crushed to pieces time and time again, yet she glues the shards back together and places it upon her sleeve for me to see. And I do see the cracks, but beyond those, her heart is a kaleidoscope, a colorful array of experiences that held her together.

If there was something I promised to protect unwaveringly, it would be his dreams. He goes through extremes to achieve a feat impossible to man, and he has given me the opportunity to witness the lands unified by his hands. This selfless act, to take for himself the burdens of creating a better world-there is nothing more noble, there is nothing more divine.

If there was something I hoped to put a stop to ceaselessly, it would be her tears. Her eyes glisten, and the pain trails down her cheeks, moving me to taste the bitterness they contain, the agony they behold. I take them as mine – as she weeps for me, for us, alone, but nevermore.

If there was something I hoped to put a stop to ceaselessly, it would be is avoidance. I weep for all the days he could not tell me what was wrong, or how I could make him feel better. Against the tears, I take his hands in mine, for what I can do is only to be by his side and to be his refuge.

If there was something I desired to preserve eternally, it would be her smile. It comes so easy, so readily, that it tells me of her thoughts without her having to speak. A simple act of reassurance that she is doing well, and that she continues to do so.

If there was something I desired to preserve eternally, it would be his smile. It comes so rarely, yet so tender when it finally does. It speaks of his contentment, the resignation to accept things as they are, of a simple, joyous moment, that despite being rather hard to achieve, was all worth it.

If there was someone I wished to keep indefinitely, it would be her.

If there was someone I wished to keep indefinitely, it would be him.

The Raven Boys is wonder- old woods and changing and magic. It’s desperate, the world pulling you outwards when you want to be in. It’s waiting for the weekend, waiting for signals, for signs, for something different. It’s a beat that catches, that swirls in the air, that twists and turns and winds it’s way into spaces you never realised were empty. It’s wide eyes searching skyward, mouths ajar, feeling new. It’s the promise of something bigger, dust in your lungs, breathless, gasping, help me’s into silence. It’s being saved without wanting to be, reproachful, I don’t know what to do, abandoning somewhere you thought was home. It’s reaching out and finding nothing to touch, things you can’t explain, I’ve been dead for six years, that’s all there is. It’s whispering questions into freezing air and finding the world tumbling in your breath.

The Dream Thieves is smashed glass, blood splattered floors, dialling a number that won’t pick up. It’s sunlight falling through air, hiding hurt behind shaking hands and averted eyes, broken, shattered, fix me. It’s dark water, dark laughter, dark eyes, dark hearts- children dragged into existence, into life, into more. It’s smashed fists and dirt-caked finer nails, secrets kept and moments analysed. It’s creation, madness, impossible, longing, enchanted, I don’t want your pity. It’s brothers, the ones you choose, chaos and shielding arms, what would they do to me? It’s clenched jaws, blood stained smiles, hooded eyes, the world as a nightmare. It’s falling through broken air, claws at your throat, fire at your feet, engulfing, scorched rooftops, rain falling from the earth and up and back down again. It’s releasing the controls, open eyes, empty lungs, restless hearts. It’s darkness, I’m always brave- braver than that.

Blue Lily Lily Blue is a light kicking in after a blackout, flickering shadows, dancing your hand out the window. It’s circles under your eyes, aching, something over your shoulder, I will be your hands, I will be your eyes. It’s caught breath, suffocating, thoughts becoming things becoming fears. It’s light, the absence of dark, how could you ever be lonely again, wonderful, dreamful days. It’s talking in circles, dreaming in riddles, walking down tunnels that lead to nowhere. It’s hands on a steering wheel, fingertips on fingertips, this was not allowed. It’s flowers and rosebuds and ripped skin and you let me believe, tuning everything on it’s head. It’s eyes closing into exhausted knuckles, sitting alone in the dark, finding, changing, wondering, for your hands. It’s your heart stopping or beating too fast or not at all. It’s intention, wanting, desperate, untameable longing. It’s your voice cracking in the dark and knowing someone’s beside you, ready to heal.

The Raven King is maps spread out across the floor, pin points and coordinates that don’t exist. It’s decaying, losing your grip, your own breath in your ears, rushing, drowning, running, whimpers and putting your faith into the unknown. It’s secrets kept and facts pulled out of thin air, something’s wrong, something new, something different. It’s overflowing, raging, crashing into each other, the ocean would catch fire, magic. It’s a storm made of anything but rain, alcohol soaked laughter, futures beginning, reaching for something, fining something new. It’s trembling tears, grief choked sobs, dreaming cures for tragedies that haven’t happened yet. It’s dissonance, cracked sunlight caught on sharp bones, heaving, dreadful, wonderful, panting, make it save, make it safe, make it safe. It’s endings and beginnings and fearful happiness. It’s being sick of a world without them in it, thumbs pressed into soft skin, stop me, stop me, stop me- stopped. It’s saving yourself, bending truth, unmaking, undoing, unhinging. It’s holding your hand up to the sky, longing, do you dream of the stars, slipping quietly from existence, wake up. It’s hopeful, it’s forgiveness, an endless, unwilling war. It’s impossible light, beginning and ending, beginning and ending - make way for the Raven King.  

On reverse retellings-gender swap

Here on tumblr we’re comfortably throwing around (and taking in) ideas that stretch the mind, and attempt to cross the boundaries of society confines and stereotypes. Which is cool, but sometimes it can get a bit… detached from the actual real world that we’re trying to change (but still, lardely, haven’t, cause change is hard, if not impossible.)

So, basically, tumblr-land can be miles away from the whole rest of the land. It’s important to remember that this is a place of ideas, but not of the realization of these idas. That happens in the outside world, the real world, known also as

Originally posted by 8octopie


Immediately you’re going: “Oh no, don’t ruin it. Don’t expose it to THEM. THEY don’t get it.”

But they must. Just whining to each other on here, although fun, won’t change anything. Going out and doing stuff will.

So, let’s do an experiment, shall we?

We shall.

Originally posted by blunt-science

(Trust me, I’m a physicist.)

Let’s take this (amazing, if I say so myself) idea: A reverse retelling of Jane Eyre.

Originally posted by shosakurai



She is the one with the sercret, mad spouse hidden somewhere, thirsting for her flesh.

She is the one who wanted to grasp that little glimpse of happiness with another man, even though she knew if was forbidden.

She is the one who has to be set on fire (both metaphorically and literally) before she can be free of her demons.

She is the one who needs to be rescued from the horrors of her own life, and they both have equal flaws and good things to bring to the relationship. (In the book, Rochester needs to be freed of his wife, but other than that he’s supposed to bring more to the marriage, not morally, but materially.) In this reverse story, they are equals morally. Although she’s still kind of poorer, so that stays the same, as do a lot of other things, (because Charlotte is a genius and that story is already waaaay ahead of its time, and people would probably hate SO much on it because of feminism and stuff, but they can’t cause it’s a classic and you go, girl.)

Originally posted by ladybethcassel

What if he, in reverse, has had a sad, emotionally abusive childhood, and has lived a dry, melancholy life? While drownig in riches (nice contrast there). 

What if he is the unspoilt one, has never given his heart to any woman, nor has be promised marriage to one, although he’s had women salivate after him for years?

What if he is the one who has to come back to her in the end, and find her ruined, and promise to her that she is more worthy of him now than she ever was?

What if he has to rescue her morally and emotionally as much as she? (That’s the only thing that doesn’t happen in the book, Jane is the moral anchor throughout, and he’s trying not to drown in the sea of his sins. But what if she is a sinner too?)

What if, in short, the roles are reversed? What if the woman is the one with the guilty secret? Is she then worthy of love? Do we even dare to consider it? What if the man is left bewildered and wondering if she likes him AT ALL, and asking her to trust him with her secrets, and left at the altar (or near it)? What if he is the second man in her life (the non-virgin antitrope -is that even a word? Now it is) but she the first woman in his?

What if the man, for once, is not the one in need of emotional rescuing, but does the rescuing himself, even though he isn’t qualified to do it? But he becomes someone who can lead them noth to a stronger moral standard. He isn’t the rescuer, but he BECOMES the rescuer. Because there’s nobody that will save him, if he won’t do it himself. That’s what I’m talking about. What if he is their only hope of ever working things through?
What if she is good and kind and faithful, but maimed? Ruined? Is it good/romatic/relatable that he should want her at all? And is she in a place to even be attracted to him, after what has been done to her?

What if they are both ruined, the girl as well as the guy?

Originally posted by stupidteletubbie

Well, I’ll tell you what happens then.

People don’t GET IT. Most people. Some do. And yay. But most don’t get it. (Or if they get it, they don’t like it.) Ewwwww why isn’t she pure? Ewww she’s married, I don’t read books about girls like THAT. Ewwwww that’s not a heroine, that’s a *** Ewww why would he want her? Ewww Eww Ewwwww


In case you don’t realize what I’m talking about yet, it’s not ok for a woman to have a dark secret, to need rescuing, to not hold herself to a higher moral standard. All the things that make us go “my poor baby” for Rochester, would make us go “ewwwww” for Jane.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

That’s gender swap in the real world, my friends. How do I know that? Because of this. I did it, you see. I did the experiment. And I am thankful every day for people who GOT the story from the first second, like @tea-books-lover @velutluna @pagesfullofstars @celebangel @bassguitarwitch and soooo many others who beta-read, reviewed, or just plain encouraged me with this outlandish idea.

Because, let me tell you.

I’ve gotten hate. (The ewwwws we were talking about, see above. So many EWWWS)

Originally posted by sheepy-shenanigans

ewe? close enough. 

I’ve even seen people read the synopsis and go, why would I read a book about a heroine like that? I don’t read books about ruined heroines.

People message me (most of them don’t dare post reviews) telling me they loved the writing but WTH? I reply, it’s reverse. They say ewww the heroine isn’t pure. I say she’s like Rochester, he isn’t pure. They say well, yeah, but he’s a guy. It’s ok for the man. That’s not a Jane Eyre retelling (A LOT of them don’t even get that. They don’t even recognize the Jane Eyre plotline or the characters once I swapped the genders. I mean it when I say it’s a different world out there, you guys. People have no idea. No. Idea.) I say -I usually say nothing, or just bye, but if it’s a nice person who wants answers, I reply- it’s the same story, governess goes to work for rich dude, mad spouse, fire, impossible love, morals, wedding stopped, the works. But it’s reverse.

There’s even lines in the book that are a direct nod to the masterpiece.

“You are my bright angel.”

“You can be mended, if once you were ruined.”

“Take off your mask, little ghost.”

“You tranfix me quite.” (Ok, that’s a lie, I didn’t put that last one in, just love it.)

Aaaaan feels.

Anyway, I am really happy with how this story turned out (and a lot of other people are happy too, it seems -yay- special thanks to the person who left this

 in lieu of a review, you’re my favorite thing in the world, person). And if I can do a TINY BIT to bring about some change in this world, then:

1. Books are the way to do it (or one of the best ways, subtle but powerful), I really believe this, and history backs it up.

2. I am proud and happy and blessed.

3. I don’t mind the occasional thick head trying to push itself into my inbox. Maybe it’s the sign of someone trying to wake up. Or refusing to wake up. But you know what? Something made them almost wake up. And if that something was me… then that’s all I can ask for.

Anyway, I jsut wanted to share a bit of my experience on “the other side”, which something actually went out and did in real life. It changed me in so many ways, and I really hope it might have changed someone else too. Even the littlest bit.

I always reblog reverse story ideas, and now you know why they’re so close to my heart, but I wanted to share my story of actually going out and DOING THE THING. You should always do the thing, even if you’re scared. Also, if you’re scared, I’m here. Talk to me. I know about scared.

Which brings us to:


Originally posted by lamefreek

Read read read

Then write write write.

Then repeat.

Learn the rules, and break them. Like Charlotte did. Like a boss.

Let’s keep writing new things, let’s break the rules, let’s be respectful and educated, and then let’s think outside the box. Let’s RUIN the box (see what I did there? Pun, anyone? No? Ok.) 

Who’s with me?

Perfection Is A Game


Warning: None, just fluff and stuff. 

Summary: First ‘I Love You’.


Perfection is a game he knows how to play so well. Perfection is nothing but an idealistic standard that’s near impossible to reach. He’s reached it. He’s surpassed it. The world doesn’t know what to do with him. The way he walks, he talks, and acts. He’s golden. I can watch him him all day, it doesn’t matter what he’s doing. He just does it all so well. He is the game itself, and I struggle just to keep up playing.


I looked up from the food in front of me, and he’s smiling. I can feel my cheeks heating in embarrassment, and I can’t help but let my smile grow as he grins. He’s charming, and I wonder how the hell he’s chosen me, out of all the girls in the world, it’s me.

“Sorry, I zoned out.”
“You good, baby?”

The words are like silk, soft and smooth, it’s natural and he says it so well. I take care to nod, I make a mental note to ask him how his trip was, because while he was away from Grayson, he was also away from me.

“So, how’s class?”

The question etches a frown to my lips and I don’t mean to, but it makes him frown too, and he’s looking at me, waiting. I stare at my pancakes, thinking of class and as if on a cue, the stress and anxiety creep it’s way to the surface of my body, and I’m reliving the stress despite not having a need to.

“Y/N, forget I asked.”
“Sorry, it’s just that, finals are coming up, and I haven’t heard back from any of the colleges, and financially, I’m so fucked, and–”
“Hey, hey.. chill.. you’re good. You’re gonna be just fine babe, you’ll be okay.”

I take a deep breath, and he follows. I can’t help but smile, he grins like the perfect guy he is, kissing my lips gently in the process, letting his smile disappear for a second before he’s grinning again. It’s contagious because now, I’m happy again. The universe has granted him the rare ability of contagious laughter and smiling.

“How was your trip?”
“It was.. something.”

He laughs, my heart flutters at the sound of it. It’s like music to my ears, and to see him happy is an indescribable piece of art. He deserves the world, and if I can grant it, I will, in a heartbeat. His hand finds mine as he intertwines our fingers. He kisses my knuckles and I listen to him talk, about anything and everything. He talks about yesterday, and the few days before that. He talks about politics, and his beliefs. He talks about random things, like how bees die when they sting people. And then, he’s talking about us, and the look in his eyes when he does, it makes me fall in love with him all over again.

“I love you.”

I stare at him with wide eyes, and he’s just as shocked. I pull my hands away, nearly slapping myself in the face as I cover my mouth. His lips are in a tight ‘o’ shape and I want the ground to swallow me whole. I cringe, hanging my head. He laughs softly, and he gently grabs my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. I want to hide, but his look tells me not to. He’s not laughing, instead, he has a gentle smile on his lips, and his eyes are soft, the light in his eyes unwavering.

“I love you.”

He grins. My heart is racing as fast as hummingbird wings and I’m positive he can hear it. He squeezes my hand gently as we continue with breakfast, both with shit eating grins on our faces. My heart feels light, with this perfect person beside me and the silence is comfortable. We steal glances at each other, laughing lightly when we catch each other only to do it again.

“You’re perfect. No matter what, don’t change.”

He looks shocked, and stared at me for a couple seconds before allowing his smile to take over once more. He nods, leaning over as our lips meet in a sweet kiss, I can taste the syrup on his lips, and not even the little girl screaming to her mother about us can break our kiss.

“What the hell have I done to deserve you?”

He questions. I laughed, shaking my head as I place a kiss to his lips once more before taking a bite of my fruit salad.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”
“Oh, really?”

He tests. I nodded as we both finished our food. We got up, continuing our day at the beach. It doesn’t take long for the sun to pass us over, and soon enough, I can see the sun beginning to set on the horizon. I spot Ethan amidst the waves, his chiseled body easily distinguishable. While I seemingly look like a potato, Ethan Grant Dolan is something made by the Gods.

The waves crash over, taking him with the flow. Once it gets dark, and our part of the beach is empty, he finds his way back to me. I sit up a bit taller, handing him his towel and he takes his spot between my legs. I wrapped my arms around him, as he turns and kisses my shoulder.

“You’re beautiful.”
“You’re handsome.”
“Remember when we met?”
“How can I forget?”

I questioned. He shrugged slightly, grinning as he leaned against me.

“Yeah, you may not have noticed, but you made me nervous. You still do sometimes, but I think I’ve gotten better because of it. I love you, more than you know.”
“I love you so much..”

I smiled, giving him a kiss. The sunlight kissed his skin perfectly, he seemed to glow, and I knew I was looking longingly, it’s near impossible to not. Where others see a YouTuber, or, at its worst, a stupid teenager, I see Ethan Dolan. My Ethan Dolan. The boy who had the balls to come up to me while I sat by myself. The boy who makes me smile. The boy who helps me get through my days. He’s complete and utter perfection. There isn’t another on the planet for me

I hope you like it!

~Kai xx

When I wanted a laptop in high school,
My parents shook their heads and told me,
“You can’t get everything you want.”
So I got a job, saved up five thousand dollars,
and bought both a laptop and a car.

When I hated myself for having depression,
I sat in countless waiting rooms, even though
they gave me anxiety. I got out of bed
when I didn’t want to and confided in friends
when all I wanted was to be withdrawn.

When I told myself I wasn’t smart enough
to go to college, when I wanted to drop out
because I had no one to turn to,
I wiped my tears with paperwork and
made Dean’s List four semesters in a row.

I have always done the impossible
because the world told me I couldn’t,
and I told the world that hard work
can get you anything you want.

So when you told me there was nothing
I could do, I kicked and screamed
and clawed at your skin until it was purple,
and you told me I was privileged,
that I didn’t understand your hardships
because I was used to getting what I wanted.

And I learned my parents were right:
you can’t get everything you want.
But anything you cannot receive with
hard work is something that doesn’t want you,
something that doesn’t appreciate your efforts.
And something with those two qualities
is something that isn’t worth having.

—  Yes, I am privileged. I am privileged because I have the will to try again.