there is not one woman in this anime who does not rock my face off

Why ToZ X Is Actually Just Bad

Beyond the obvious issues of tossing the main plot out the window in favour of this new amalgam of ToZ’s universe + ToB Spoilers + Fan service to placate Alisha Fans.*

I wrote a lot. Sorry fam @ mobile users.

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spring anime 2017 part 2: girlfriendship is magic

I can’t believe Maidragon was so powerful it brought the entire 90s back.

See also:

• spring anime 2017 part 1: woke up late

• spring anime 2017 part 3: comfy and easy to wear

spring anime 2017 bonus round: things you already knew were good


Clockwork Planet

Yes, forecasts this season predict heavy showers of magical girlfriends.This time the dude afflicted by this sudden precipitation is a clockwork nerd, who gets a clockwork gothloli dropped on him. This may be less of a coincidence than it sounds because for spurious reasons the entire planet has been replaced by clockwork – if you thought this show was mentally capable of having a metaphorical title, I have bad news. So basically this is teen schmuck + robot superweapon having fights in a city that looks like a lazy steampunk cosplayer’s top hat, in between erotic misunderstandings. I’m regretting that I called Macchiavellism’s fights bad because a couple good action cuts are already a lot to ask for, as evidenced here: It looks just terrible, and obviously the content itself is even worse. Nuh-uh.


Eromanga-sensei

I love Hiro Kanzaki’s character designs. There, I said it. I just wish they weren’t attached to bullshit like OreImo or Eromanga-sensei, which, being by the same author and all, is more or less the same thing. It’s pretty bad when the implied incest fantasy is the least revolting thing about your celebration of otaku shittery: So a schlubby light novel protagonist who also writes light novels (and who happens to be surrounded by hot bitches that just love people who write light novels because that’s so cool) finds out that the mysterious porn artist he’s collaborating with over the internet is actually his hikkikomori little sister, who reacts to this revelation like any girl would: being tsundere. This means it’s full of mildly self-deprecating nerd humor, the infuriating kind that makes it abundantly clear that if the author meant any of it, he wouldn’t write this crap. Even worse is that the sibling relationship is played for sappy family feels, which I would be more willing to give the benefit of the doubt to if this wasn’t OreImo 2: The Sequel To OreImo. And the main guy can’t keep his eyes from wandering anyway, so it’s not like there’s a mystery here. I’ll say it looks real good, obviously there’s money in the OreImo market and it’s well made as a result, plus the aforementioned character designs. But if I want more Hiro Kanzaki I’d rather watch Go! Go! 575 again.


Hinako Note

There’s actually no Manga Time Kirara adaptation this season, but worry not, Hinako Note is indistinguishable from one of those (that one being GochiUsa). So it’s Kirara at it’s most basic too: 5 girls with mild, generic quirks hang out and cute things take place. You get your shy one, you get your hungry one, you get your tiny maid one, etc. Ostensibly this is theater-themed, but as of episode 1 it’s less about theater than K-ON is about music, and that’s saying something. Now, these shows are always extremely inoffensive by design, and if they do nothing fundamentally wrong they just come across as dull. Since this does nothing fundamentally wrong, it just comes across as dull. Congratulations, Hinako Note, you pulled it off even while being born in the wrong magazine.


Kabukibu!

The easy hook when writing about Kabukibu is that it’s another DEEN show about a classic Japanese performance artform, but it’s blindingly obvious right away that Kabukibu is no Rakugo Shinjuu – it being about a school club is right in the title after all, and it has the requisite spurious punctuation too, so everything else falls into place from there. The main innovation is that this is about cute guys doing cute kabuki. As always, our main dude has to gather the five members to bring the school club back to life first. So it’s unimaginative and honestly rather bad, but I still like it. For starters there’s the bit where our lead is such a nerd that he spends every conversation clearing up common misconceptions about kabuki, which is hilarious, since it resembles weeaboo Richard Stallman wanting to interject for a second over and over again. Secondly, the comical cast of misfits does seem to have potential, with a rock singer that can’t sing, an obvious woman that is actually a woman, and so on. Overall it reminds me of Cheer Danshi, an obvious C-list production that gets by by being earnest. If I can learn to not be annoyed at the yodelling kabuki inflection, I might actually watch this for a lark.


The King’s Avatar

This may be completely outside the “Japanese cartoon” purview of this post since it’s 100% Chinese and doesn’t even have a Japanese dub like the Haoliners productions, but it’s on MAL so it counts I suppose. Also, it’s rather… good? The King’s Avatar is about a legendary MMO pro gamer who gets kicked off his team and has to give up his account, which afflicts him with a multitude of sads. After a bit of soul-searching he starts playing the game again on a new server, starting from level 1. What makes this not as bad as it sounds is that it’s not an isekai bonanza, but a sports show where the sport happens to be visually interesting, and it’s a slow and contemplative sports show at that. The whole “starting from level 1" thing is a topical twist on the sports comeback story, and it looks fairly nice too, a few bits of unfortunate CG aside (but that’s common, so whatever). Yeah, I like this, and if fansubs turn out to not be a huge hassle to get hold of I’ll give it a try.


Love Kome - We Love Rice

Back in Japan, please enjoy this short comedy about rice crop gijinka, boyband edition. It has atrocious character designs and is painfully unfunny. So nothing new there.


Re:Creators

Girlfriends keep falling in my lap, and that might mean my eyes will soon be turning red. Hey, this is the old “reverse isekai”, where some nerd gets to live with a bunch of characters from his favorite anime that inexplicably became real. Brace for domestic hijinks and fish-out-of-water comedy - and a lot of action, because this is Ei Aoki working with offbrand Fate material. He may be this show’s saving grace, because I’m willing to forgive dumb action anime a lot if it at least manages to have some actual fucking action in it. The idea that these anime characters think they’re in the “realm of the gods” (i.e., their creators, you see) also has some storytelling potential, if it doesn’t get buried under stuff blowing up and comedic trips to the konbini. And it doesn’t have a “walking in on the girl naked” scene, which probably counts as “classy” in this field. I don’t know, it sure is stupid as hell but it might be a good time. We’ll see.


Renai Boukun

Renai Boukun is a comedy’s comedy about a very silly cupid that ships people, and herself. As a real anime comedy, it is of course chock full of people acting wacky followed by reaction faces, which is my kryptonite. I do have to admit that this show at least goes all out with it, it’s fast and furious and never lets up. Some of the jokes are even okay (mostly the more absurd ones like the unsettlingly bizarre cat with a human face), though most are just repetitive, like the yandere girl being constantly jealous. Yeah, this is just totally not my thing, but if I give it any amount of praise that probably means it’s a good one?


Seikaisuru Kado

Never say that bureaucrats don’t get no respect, because this is the second season in a row where we get an anime about pencilpushers being totally awesome. The main difference between this and ACCA is that ACCA was roughly 80% style, and Seikaisuru Kado has no style. It makes up for it with conviction, because this is a show where some desk jockey assigned to wind down an electroplating business spends a night googling, with the result being him developing a new electroplating procedure that saves the company and impresses physics professors – and that is the intro before the science fiction aspect comes into play. Oh yeah, there’s a science fiction aspect. So after a job well done, Super Bureaucrat Man is taking a flight from Haneda airport when a Borg cube unceremoniously drops on the plane. The rest of the episode is spent with scientists trying to figure out what happened, mostly by shooting tank shells at the cube and so on. Guess they just aren’t bureaucratic enough, because by the end our hero emerges from the cube, having apparently come to an agreement with the proprietor. Uh. Yes, this is an extreme amount of nonsense, and I have no idea where this is supposed to be going. With the amount of military hardware on display, it makes me think “GATE, but not for total assholes”, but who knows. It looks very weird too, it’s a CG show that cuts a lot of corners by using 2D animation (I know, right?). Usually CG characters are good when you have a lot of action because it enables a fluid camera, but this has no action and they still could have done their special effects in CG like everyone else. So it ends up as an anime where the important characters look worse than the unimportant ones they couldn’t be bothered to build a CG model for. The whole thing is bizarre enough to be intriguing, but I don’t have high hopes for it, especially since the slots for shows I actually want to watch are now filling up.


Tsuki ga Kirei

Case in point: Tsuki ga Kirei is a romance about a bookish nerd dude who loves to quote Dazai at his most morose, and a neurotic girl. Needless to say, it is very awkward, but also kind of cute. This may seem like a slim synopsis, but that’s pretty much it: Tsuki ga Kirei is the sort of show that has the potential to be great if it pays off, but just becomes boring to infuriating Mari Okada clone #3879435 if it doesn’t. So it’s a risky proposition, and not one you can call based on the first episode. On the execution level it seems to do it right so far, it’s well directed, sticks to its slow, sensitive tone and looks pleasant and detailed – the only distracting thing are regrettable and robotic CG background characters all over the place. Overall, this is a show that demands at least three episodes, which it will get from me. Ask again later.


Twin Angel BREAK

Finally, if you’re looking for some basic-ass mahou shoujo shit, here’s the new Twin Angel spinoff. It’s indeed some basic-ass mahou shoujo shit (two-girl team aka PreCure version). The genki red one and the reserved blue one go around fighting evil by the moonlight or whatever, while being cheered on by their one-gimmick-each friends. I somehow doubt this thing is setting itself up for a subversion of any kind, so yeah. What you see is what you get. The only memorable thing is that the action is more than merely bad here, it’s comically bad. Seriously, it’s somewhere between Astro Fighter Sunred and Ninja Slayer. Too bad the rest of the show is just unambitiously competent, so watching it for production pratfalls seems like it’s not worth it either.

*takes a long breath*

hhhhhhhhhhhere we go…

Thank you for not spoilering me, but there are just a few things wrong with that line of thought. Let me point them out.

(I’m not even going to get into the whole fallacy of the ‘well it needs to be like that because of their Quirks’ like Horikoshi couldn’t have tweaked the design so that wasn’t an issue. He’s the creator. This is a thing he could have done.)

One, the Dominatrix doesn’t have much of her skin exposed. From what I can tell, she’s wearing a body suit (that like in much shonen anime, fucking molds perfectly to her boobs because , and the only skin exposed is on her face. So, if she needs to have her skin exposed to use her Quirk for whatever reason (I’m assuming it’s something along the lines of Momo, maybe?), she’d have to tear at the jumpsuit. Which, well. That’s certainly necessary, and not just because Horikoshi wants to see a hot woman in torn clothing.

(Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure it is.)

And beyond even that, the woman is teaching in a highschool. And she’s dressed like a dominatrix. That was my main point on the previous post. I have fucking seen women like her in goddamn fetish clubs (and I mean, more power to them, but they had the fucking courtesy not to wear their costumes into the classroom. Around minors.) and that shit is not appropriate for a school environment!

I’m not the type to police what women should and shouldn’t wear (for fear of ‘titillating teh boys’, or whatever nonsense), but there is a huge difference between girls wearing off-the-shoulder shirts/tank-tops/things along that line and fucking dominatrix wear.

I don’t know if her Quirk - again, whatever it is - requires her to dress up in something someone heavily invested in the BDSM scene would wear, but if it’s that ‘naughty’ of a Quirk, she really should not be teaching at a highschool!


*drags hands down face*

I. Am not. Being hard. On Momo.

I love that girl. She has an awesome quirk. She’s intelligent. I like her a lot. she’s probably gay as fuck and I ship her with earphone girl.

BUT SHE’S GOT THE STUPIDEST OUTFIT I HAVE EVER SEEN, AND I’M PISSED OFF THAT HER CREATOR PUT HER IN IT. AND BEYOND THAT, IT MAKES NO SENSE WHEN THINKING ABOUT HER QUIRK!

(it is such a poor design! That’s what I’m mad about!!!!!!!!!!!)

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Papers of Homelessness - Chapter 25

(This banner had been made by the awesome and amazing artist @benteja​. i am so honored that she had drawn this banner for this story. please go and show her all the love in the world that she deserves!!! \[^o^]/)

BEFORE | NEXT

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alright i’m in a bad mood so here we go

- The last chapter is showing us events ten years into the future. Pretty much anything can happen in ten years. People change, situations change, etc. Keep that in mind.

- There is nothing wrong with Uryu being a doctor. He said he didn’t want to become one because he saw his dad dissecting his mom. He then found out WHY his dad had to do it himself, and that he wasn’t just cold or heartless. Uryu and Ryuken’s relationship was implied to be repaired, at least somewhat. Uryu’s angst was resolved.

- Nothing in the final chapter implied that Uryu was sad, lonely, or “just like his father.” His face was hidden in the color spread, and we saw his back up until his smile was revealed, because Kubo wanted the audience to experience a tinge of worry for Uryu before revealing no, he’s really okay, he didn’t become like his dad, even when he’s working hard he’s still thinking about his friends. (Doctors can’t just blow off work to attend a party. Welcome to adulthood and all the responsibilities that come with it. Uryu’s doing his job and saving lives, and STILL found a way to watch Chad’s match. That says a lot.)

- Uryu is perfectly capable of getting over a crush he had in high school and moving on, there’s nothing to imply he’s sad and “pining,” ffs he’s a grown adult, stop treating him like a child.

- Chad became a boxer. We do not know WHY he became a boxer. His abuelo wanted him to stop being a bully; Chad chose to make his own promise to “not swing his fist for himself.” (That promise was never specifically about Ichigo btw…) He could be fighting for charity, or using his winnings to support his family, etc. WE DON’T KNOW. (And fyi, Chad’s in the “heavyweight” match. Whoever he’s fighting won’t go down with one punch, trust me.)

- Up until now, most of the people complaining never gave a damn about Chad anyway, so quit pretending like he’s been your “precious bb” this whole time when you left him out of your edits/meta/fanart/etc for fifteen damn years. “Chad deserved better!!” Yeah, no shit, he deserved better; he deserved to be recognized by the fanbase as a MC before it was convenient to do so for your “bleach sux” arguments.

- There is nothing to suggest that Orihime was shoved into the role of “housewife.” We have no evidence that she doesn’t have a job outside of the house, or that she doesn’t work in the clinic with her husband. There’s also no confirmed age for Kazui, so the “teen pregnancy” theory isn’t canon either.

- Ichigo defeated Yhwach ten years ago. He killed him. The “time skip” is a flashforward to show us Yhwach FAILING to move into the future and wreck everyone’s lives again. There would be no reason for Ichigo to purposely screw himself over in order to “be unhappy so Yhwach won’t come back.” HE ALREADY STOPPED YHWACH FROM COMING BACK. I KNOW YHWACH’S ABILITIES ARE CONFUSING BUT OH MY GOD GUYS, READ.

- Also, if you think Ichigo Kurosaki is the type of person to just “accept fate” and ruin his own life out of fear of some dipshit who hurt his loved ones, you know literally nothing about his character. Even if Yhwach’s defeat wasn’t already confirmed, Ichigo would do whatever he damn well pleased and wait for Yhwach to show up so he can kick the bastard’s ass again.

- Even IF Yhwach wasn’t already dead, even IF Ichigo was afraid of him, you know Ichigo is the kind of guy to say “welp, time to go become a mountain hermit.” He would isolate himself and let the people he loves have a “safe life” without him. He is NOT the type of person to DRAG AN INNOCENT WOMAN AND CHILD INTO A LIFE HE KNOWS WILL BE “MISERABLE.”

- AND THAT PROMISE EXTENDED TO RENJI AND URYU TOO. THEY ALSO FOLLOWED YHWACH THROUGH THE PORTAL. DID ICHIGO PURPOSELY SCREW UP THE LIVES OF TWO OF HIS BEST FRIENDS AS WELL??? (what im asking is “do you actually understand the protagonist of your ‘fave manga’ at all”)

- Prior to chapter 686, Ichigo did not have confirmed feelings for Rukia or Orihime. Rukia did not have confirmed feelings for Ichigo or Renji. Renji’s feelings for Rukia were ambiguous ever since his introduction. Orihime was the only corner of this supposed “love square” that had canon romantic feelings for anyone. No amount of twisting the text to suit your ship will negate any of that.

- The creator also said flat out what kind of bond Ichigo and Rukia had. He was ignored then and is still ignored now. Non-canon romantic subtext in the anime, color spreads, and whatever went down in the rock musical do not erase what he said about their canon relationship in the manga.

- Oh, and Renji is not abusive. You are taking a very complicated situation that happened years ago and cherry picking to fit your narrative. Cut it out.

- Ichigo likes being a shinigami, as it gives him the power to protect those around him. He has mourned the loss of his powers before. However, he never showed any desire to move to Soul Society or become a part of the Gotei 13. Even at the beginning of the Thousand Year Blood War arc, we saw him perfectly content working as a substitute shinigami in the living world, fighting alongside his friends. There was nothing preventing him from trying to jump over to Soul Society and join them, yet, he didn’t??? Crazy.

- There’s also literally nothing in chapter 686 that implies that he no longer has his shinigami powers. “WE DIDN’T SEE THEM THO” is not a valid argument. I guess because we don’t see something, it stops existing? Kubo has no reason to show us he still has his powers, since there’s no reason for us to believe he lost them.

- Yuzu does not have a brother complex. Her favoritism and hero worship of Ichigo have always been obvious, and they now extend to Kazui (aka tiny Ichigo), which is what Karin was commenting on. Anyone who has a relationship like that with their older brother would understand why it’s embarrassing to have it pointed out.

- And stop calling Kazui an “incest baby,” you little shits. I don’t know what’s with your obsession with incest, but it’s not cute or witty.

Meanwhile, actual serious issues with the ending:
- Urahara?
- Yoruichi??
- Nel???
- Grimmjow????
- Kira?????
- Seriously, Kubo, buddy, wtf
- VERY IMPORTANT CHARACTERS ARE MIA
- YOU CAN’T JUST NOT TELL US IF THEY’RE ALIVE OR NOT???
- WTF MAN, I TRUSTED YOU