there is no such thing as an inappropriate joke thats why its called a joke

voltron band au

band au bc???? i fucken wanna ok 

_____

  • shiro is the lead singer n he has one of the most velvety voices ever?? and everyone is like holy shit ma n,,, like holy fuck. he used to just sing in choirs and stuff but he eventually put that aside once befriending the rest of the band. his folks back at his small hometown weren’t exactly happy with his choice of music, but they’re proud enough. but not only can he sing, he can play the guitar too. shiro stans are constantly talking about his sharp handsome features along with his muscles. out of the band, hes the most collected of them all but has a bit of a goofy side that the fans freak out over. 
  • keith plays lead guitar and is a fucking beast at it. everyones a fan of keith’s guitar solos. his electric guitar is colored red and is named the Red Paladin. keith has been playing the guitar since age 8 when he was first put into guitar lessons. additionally, keith adds his own vocals at times and sometimes sings solos in songs. keith stans are attracted to him for his emo-like persona and a few jokingly refer to him as gerard way (which keith doesnt mind until the rest of the band begins calling him that too) and a lot of the fans are attracted to his ~mysterious~ personality. despite looking the scariest, hes actually a puppy at heart and is probably the dorkiest of the group 
  • lance plays the bass and plays it like a god. his rhythm is smooth and constant and everyone’s got a thing for his bass solos. he owns a blue bass that he calls the Blue Paladin (a mirror to keith’s guitar). he first self taught himself the guitar at age 12 and then further on taught himself how to play the bass. he too provides vocals and the group all agrees that he harmonizes best with keith. to the fanbase, he is revered as memelord and king of shitpost. hes the one whos constantly dabbing and making awful jokes at concerts. lance stans love him for his charisma and oozing confidence. he is one of the funniest and light hearted of the band. 
  • pidge plays the keyboard and can play at such a fast rate it rivals sonic’s speed (lance’s words). when shes playing the keyboard she is completely in the zone, eyes trained as her fingers glide across her instrument. in between songs at concerts though, shes always ready to provide a joke at the expense of her teammates (all in love ofc). shes also the one in charge of the effects that go on during concerts (aka how lights will go, whats on the monitors, etc). the smartest of the bunch, pidge is also considered the most savage and wont hold anything back. pidge stans love her for her fiery personality and just maybe bc pidge is adorably tiny 
  • hunk plays the drums and is phenomenal. hes always so enthusiastic to play and has the most energy to play during a concert. his beats are the backbone of their songs and as a member is the heart of the band. he began playing the drums at a young age and was always fascinated by music. he lovingly refers to his drum set as the yellow paladin and he insists pidge call her keyboard the green paladin but she finds it ridiculous. he is also the one they depend on to fix their instruments and equipment, seeing as hes rather handy with those things. hunk’s fanbase loves him for his kind personality and humor. along with keith, he too is a bit of a puppy and the fans l ov e it. hes also the most hard working of the band, always the last one to leave the studio bc he just HAS to get this right. 
  • allura is actually a solo artist herself and was the one who discovered them. she saw them playing at one of their small gigs one time and decided that they needed to tour with her. she is the daughter of alfor altea, owner and creator of Altea Records. allura offers the band a recording label there, to which they agree to gladly. as a solo artist, she has a large following. her voice is known in the business for being so powerful with her barely trying. she serves as a mentor to the band and helps as much as she can. 
  • coran is allura’s manager and works for alfor at altea records. as allura’s manager, he also doubles as the band’s manager too. very quirky and a bit of an oddball, coran always has ideas and is the best when it comes to PR. he too is known by the fans as manager and often stars in the band + allura’s social media. this gains coran a few fans that hes awfully proud of and thinks its the best thing in the universe. (he also lowkey totally has a crush on alfor but as if hed ever act on that but in reality alfor is trying his best to make it known to the redhead that his feelings are reciprocated) 
  • um ofc the band’s name is Voltron what did u expect 
  • shiro and keith were the first ones of the band basically. keith convinced shiro that his voice was fucking good as hell man and that he should quit choir and maybe start up something new 
    • they end up meeting pidge, lance, and hunk after performing at some open mic night bc lance decided hed insult the song they performed (which keith wrote) it was eventually settled when lance admitted that shiro’s voice was amazing though and that keith’s guitar playing was pretty good
      • “not too good of course”
    • after a week or so when shiro first learns that the others play instruments, it hits him that theyve been whats missing all along and eventually they all come together and form voltron 
  • despite originally clashing, keith and lance actually make a pretty good team and write some of the best lyrics together 
  • shiro is constantly acting as a buffer for each of them, often at times having to cross out inappropriate lyrics or song choices
    • “for the last time, pidge, we’re not gonna write a song about birds fucking”
    • “its a perfectly good song and you know it" 
  • hunk coming up with the best beats and rhythms and all out of nowhere just because he was randomly tapping his hands against some object 
  • pidge playing pranks on them during concerts and one time steals shiro’s mic when he’s occupied on a different part of the stage 
  • um yeah ofc the fans ship #klance and the two blush and get flustered over it every time its mentioned but they get together eventually bc honestly everyone saw it coming 
  • the top two things people look forward to in meet and greets: touching shiro’s bicep and getting to experience one of hunk’s bear hugs 
  • fans know about hunk’s passion for cooking so they like to tweet him about it. some even go as far as gifting him food and its honestly the sweetest thing ever
    • hunk sends out a personalized thank you tweet to everyone who gives him food
  • keith is constantly being asked by the fans to wear eyeliner
    • emo style bc they already have shiro wearing winged eyeliner
  • the band going through the the internet to see what fans are saying and being simultaneously overwhelmed with happiness and also confused as to what the hell theyre going on about
    • “why are they calling me daddy? am i a fatherly figure?" 
    • ”…im a sinnamon roll”
    • “wait who the fuck just called me a rip off pete wentz”
    • “why are people making so many memes of keith but not me?? the actual memelord??”
    • “someone just called me a cinnamon roll?? thats the most adorable compliment ever"
  • allura constantly having to Stop them from posting awful things on their social media 
    • “shiro i dont think #dicksoutforharambe is the social movement you want your name tagged onto”
    • “but lance said it was for a good cause”
  • everyone in the band realizes that coran is head over heels for alfor and finds it both hilarious and endearing but also sad bc?? hes so oblivious?? its so obvious alfor likes him back smh 
    • except for lance though. he isnt even aware until hunk makes a joke about coran and alfors’ wedding 
  • their fanbase being called paladins bc why not
    • (sorry im not letting it be called quiznaks. i cant let us be called fucks i just cant)
  • band selfies more like “pidge i understand its difficult for you to be seen but you dont have to stand on the table–no dont argue its not safe”
  • pidge can secretly rap hella good and decides to showcase it one time in lance’s snapchat story
    • SHE RAPS NICKI MINAJ’S MONSTER VERSE ONE TIME N IT IS WILD AF
  • lance wont stop making lance bass jokes and no one knows why exactly
  • o god hunk driving all the fans wild when he throws his drum sticks out to the crowd at the end of a concert and is smiling widely in all his sweat filled glory
  • also shiro totally always purposely wears sleeveless shirts at concerts bc Oh Yeah
    • o and also shiro still has a prosthetic arm in this au just saying 
  • hunk and pidge fucking around with the stage equipment and stuff for shits n giggles
    • until allura and shiro find them n tell them to stop
  • one time lance is told to do the opening to one of their songs at a concert and he just strums his bass idly before saying “anyway, here’s wonderwall”
  • oh my god keith answering interviewer’s questions impulsively without thinking
    • “what part are you from?”
    • “my mother’s womb part”
  • they all adopt a black cat as their band mascot (irl they just wanted a cat) named voltron who constantly wears a multi colored sweater (red,blue,yellow,green) which was knitted personally by lance.
  • pls imagine thEm playig THE VOLTRON THEME SONG EVERY BEGINNING OF A CONCERT

,,,,,,,,, b an d a u

anonymous asked:

babe please make a spam about- what you said- that after 2014 ended kaisoo moments have been more intense please omg.

hey there babe, okay first of all i want to explain that “moment after 2014 becoming more intense” is purely my opinion, this thing is prob wouldnt/couldnt be applied to y’all 

[this gonna be long ass post so i put this keep reading thingy so ppl on their phone wont start complaining about my post making their fingers tired bc they want to skip it] basically this post contains their 2015 moments + my bullshit theory hah prepare ur eyes

Keep reading

Transcript of the Fan Fic reading
  • Simon: I am going to now read some of this story
  • Sips: Yeah, I'm gonna close my eyes and get immersed
  • Turps: Yeah, I really wanna get in the mood as well
  • Sips: Okay, lay it on me
  • Turps: Touch my tralala
  • Simon: [reading] Honeydew flopped down into the lush grass beside me panting. Envy and lust flooded through me. I wanted to make Honeydew pant like that myself! I caught myself glaring again and looked away quickly. Honeydew sat up "Xephos! Are you alright?" he said cheerfully. "Yes, I'm fine"
  • Turps: Did Lewis write this?
  • [Simon & Sips laugh]
  • Simon: [reading] I turn to him "Look, if there's anything you need or really badly want" I move closer to him "I can make it happen." I blinked. Where had that come from? Honeydew was looking at me strangely like he was judging me. Shit! "What do you mean, Xephos?" asked Honeydew choosing his words carefully with a serious look on his face.
  • [Sips & Turps laugh]
  • Turps: Oh, the voice
  • Simon: I panicked. Why did I say that? I didn't even know I was going to say that. "Wait do you mean like.." Honeydew paused
  • Turps: [interrupting] Up.. the bum?
  • [Simon, Sips & Turps laugh. Lasts 20 seconds]
  • Turps: Criminy. Jiminy Crickets
  • Simon: Oh, shit. Oh breathe. Oh god. Oh my god, fucking hell Mark. No, no no no no. [continues reading] "Wait do you mean like.." Honeydew paused "if I wanted a flat made of Jaffa Cakes you'd make that for me?" exclaimed Honeydew suddenly his face lighting up with a grin
  • Simon: So ah, yeah that's what it was about. Lewis.. Lewis actually makes a building out of Jaffa Cakes
  • Turps: Oh, that was a fan fic?
  • Simon: Yeah.. well it might get a bit.. worse
  • Turps: Surely people have paid good money for this. Should we find some more? Are there any about me and Sips getting it on.. I mean um doing stuff?
  • Sips: Building stuff together.. building some sort of like uh.. tent.. together?
  • Turps: Is there anything where like for example I'm building a bridge, Simon's reading out uh.. donations and Sips maybe has erotic tendencies?
  • Simon: This is brilliant. This is brilliant
  • Sips: I don't know if you can see but I'm shaking behind this laptop because I'm actually..
  • Simon: Oh my god
  • Sips: Rubbing my periwinkle
  • Simon: Please don't do that.. that's against the Twitch terms of service
  • Sips: ..what?
  • Simon: [reading] Trance-like hour after trance-like hour passed..
  • Sips: There's nothing explicitly saying you can't rub a periwinkle
  • Simon: as all I could think of while whilst I was creating the house was how Honeydew would react. Would he think it was creepy? Would he think it was great? I could not know. All I could do was keep building. To keep on stacking the Jaffa Cakes up and interlocking them, securing them in place with dark chocolate and orange jelly.
  • Sips: [yawning] Oh my god..
  • Simon: As I was turning to another part of the house I tripped over something large and landed painfully on my chest.
  • Turps: Oh no! What was it?
  • Simon: [reading] In this cliché moment I expected to look up and see Honeydew as I turned over but instead a pig gazed down at me confused! I sat up and to my horror saw all the pigs from the field had lumbered up the hill and had started to bite at the walls of the house!
  • [Attention drawn away by Turps building a terrible bridge]
  • Simon: So this.. this fan fiction was called "For You, I Will Build A House Of Jaffas" by Ema Schopenhauer.
  • Turps: Great director
  • Sips: That's a long one.. how does it end? Read the last part
  • Turps: Honeydew looked up exhausted "Well that's a different sort of Jaffa filling."
  • Simon: [reading] I smiled. I'd been waiting for this moment for years. I was going to make it beautiful and quiet. I reached around, I pulled Honeydew's head gently to face mine and under the watchful gaze of the warm sun, with a joint feeling of love and warmth, we kissed
  • Simon: That's how it ends.
  • Turps: Aw, that's nice
  • Simon: It's a nice one. It..its not nothing about up the bum. You know, that's the sequel
  • Turps: Oh, is it not?
  • Sips: It didn't say.. it didn't actually say where he kissed
  • Turps: Called uh.. Diggy Diggy Hole
  • Simon: Ahhh!
  • Throughout the reading there are small giggles and laughs at various moments which can easily be put down to the fact they're reading something they're not familiar with. Simon is reading about Honeydew in a situation with Xephos who happens to be his friend and colleague both in and out of game. Why this reading has caused such rage is literally beyond me. They made a few jokes about sexual scenarios which are completely valid considering a large portion of the fan fic community is NSFW. I would imagine seasoned fan fic readers/writers felt uncomfortable and giggly when they read fanfic for the first week or so.
  • As far as insulting the fan fic goes I don't see it. As I said they laughed in places, put on a few voices and generally had a good time while reading something that was unfamiliar. A few inappropriate comments were made but I put that down to making a joke towards the generalisation of fan fic and how all of it is smut. Why people are boycotting the Yogscast over having a bit of fun with writing baffles me. I just don't see how they offended the writer here yet alone the entire fan fic community. You're blaming them for upsetting the writer when half of you don't even know how the writer feels. Do you not see how ridiculous that is?
  • If someone could be so kind as to let me know why the writer being a minor has anything to do with this that would be lovely. They're a minor.. and? Is there some law on fanfic websites which prohibits minors writing being read? Are the Yogscast going to be sued for reading the work of a minor on a live stream or is it simply another thing to try and use against them along side all your other useless and irrelevant points?
  • They read the fic. They had a good time. Made a few jokes in the usual Yogscast way and somehow enraged a portion of the Yogscast tumblr community. In typical Tumblr fashion we've shown just how ridiculous and dramatic we can be over something so simple.
  • Bravo.