there is no light at the end of the tunnel

You never did anything in this world but to search for somebody to save you from falling. Like a trampoline that will catch you when you jumped to the endless void; like a light at the end of the tunnel that will save you from the dark. All you did is search and wait for someone to hold your hands and complete the spaces in between your fingers—as if they can save you from your fear of nothingness. All you did is find, and find, and find without realizing that you won’t fall if you wouldn’t jump; that the light at the end of the tunnel is nothing if you brought your own fire; that your fingers complete the spaces in between when you stick them all together. You always think there is someone out there who will save you with his swords and strong arms, but newsflash: you, too, can save yourself.

anonymous asked:

I think I'm going to kill myself

Hey, hey, hey. Please read this. I know that it seems like there’s no other way out right now, right? I get that, I understand. But, there’s so much life ahead of you. You’re not in a good spot right now, you probably haven’t been for a while, but I swear, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
You matter to so many people. That’s so hard to see right now, I know, but I promise, you do. You will be missed. You matter to me. I know I don’t know just who you are, but I’m gonna hope and pray I get another anon saying that you’re alive.
You can message me anytime, on or off anon, I’m here for you. There are plenty of places to turn to. Here are some hotlines you can turn to:
suicidehotlines.com
http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org (they also have an online chat if you can’t talk on the phone)
http://www.integralcare.org/content/24-hour-crisis-hotline
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
https://crisishotline.org
Here’s a guide to what happens when you call:
http://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/suicide-hotline-what-happens-when-you-call/

If you have a therapist, please tell them. They will only help you. I know when I wanted to hurt myself, I didn’t tell my therapist, and looking back, I really wish I had. It’s a scary thing to admit, but they will help.

Your life is worth so much. You deserve to be here. I love you. I promise, others do too. You are not as alone as you feel.

I think as a generation we are experiencing the fallout of certain things getting closer and closer to no longer being a counterculture and now that major culture is accessible or becoming more accessible to more people, a light at the end of the tunnel is visible to many and that’s. so attractive. And people deserve an end to marginalization. but like that’s how it’s going to get us. Its going to present this deal where you can over time become more accepted among the people who committed violence against you so long as you take their tools and marginalize elements of your cohort that are. less marketable. less reproductive of the economic unit. Less exploitable under capitalism. Cannot have some kind of normativity related to or adapted unto them. Any number of little factors that make them less attractive to major society. In broadly different ways. Think wide sweep machine gun, not sniper rifle precision.

and like its going to be so tempting because not being the freak for once is such a relief and impending disaster on the horizon will make it look logical to ‘clean house’ of the less comprehensible or useful peers. So that when disaster hits we can say ‘look! we’re so deserving! We’re just like you! Pass over us!’

its not going to though.

Real Reason 2016 Sucked

What if the years are correlating with the tarot cards of the same numbers? 16 is the number of The Tower, which is about a drastic life altering painful change taking place. But it’s also about foundations being broken, destruction to old ways, and a sudden change to everything. 2015? Another year agreed to royally suck? The Devil aligns with the tarot card 15, common readings say it’s about self entrapment, addictions, ego ran thoughts, hopelessness, and other negative patterns effecting one’s life.
2017 being 17 would alrign with The Star, a card about new beginnings and hopefulness, finding the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. It has connotations believed to be about inner peace, inspiration, acceptance and higher vibrations.

Of course this is just a silly theory but it gives me hope for the new year (and looking back at my own choices and experiences the last two years align pretty tightly with the cards)

The Element EVERYTHING in Your Story Needs

To all the writers who have ever felt lost, alone, and completely confused during the labyrinthine journey that is writing anything, and felt like screaming this at your story …

There’s hope.

There’s a light at the end of that darn tunnel. First, let me describe how I used to fight my way out of these periods of confusion and hopelessness. 

Usually, I would try to force myself to get back into the groove of the story. I would reread it, and be yelling at myself in my head, “Remember why you love it! LOVE your book again! Keep reading and FALL IN LOVE, damn it!” I’d go over descriptions, bits of dialogue, banter between the characters. I’d go over settings and imagery, and try to make myself remember how much they’d once excited me. I’d read things that had made me laugh when I typed them, sentences that I was particularly proud of, paragraphs that made me feel particularly clever. But the thing was, it didn’t work. 

I didn’t care.  

What was the problem? The problem was some of those descriptions, settings, images, and witty episodes of bantering had no Story Reason to be there. They were just there because they amused me. Just because I found the imagery beautiful. Just because I found a sentence or joke really clever and wanted to share my wit with the world. But the world didn’t care about my wit. Because the world (the people reading my book) knew subconsciously that there was no story to give that so-called witty sentence substance and meaning. I could create the most breath-taking images, I could make the most well-rounded living and breathing character, I could make a setting that you wanted to run away from home and live inside … and it didn’t matter. If the thing didn’t have a purpose for being there within the narrative, nobody cared. And I didn’t either. 

So what is a Story Reason? 

Everything in a story exists to support one of three things. 

1. The A-story: The surface plot, the quest of the main character to achieve a specific tangible goal. What the story is about on the surface. 

2. The B-Story: The love story, or relationship of the thing. Usually this relationship is instrumental in causing the third element, which is …  

3. The Character Arc. The theme of the story, the purpose, the piece of truth the story seeks to prove to the main character and the audience. 

If something in a story doesn’t contribute to the progress of these three, there’s no reason we should care about it. It has no point. Because in the end, all we care about is the story!

When it comes to scenes, story reason means continuity. It means the way the story unfolds logically. If every scene is there for a darn good reason, the scenes after and before will make total sense, they’ll connect seamlessly, a steady progression of events. Every scene’s turn triggers the next scene. 

And to do this, every scene must be able to be linked with three words: Because of that.

Because of the turn of one scene … 

The next scene happens. 

And because of the turn of that scene the next scene happens.

To illustrate how this works, let’s look at a small movie you might have heard about called Zootopia. (Thanks to @inked-withlove for the movie suggestion!)

So let’s start at this point, the turn of the scene with Clawhauser and Judy searching the file on Emmitt Otterton. 

Turn: “I have a lead." 

Because of that …

Judy has to get Nick to tell her what he knows about Otterton.

Turn: It all goes poorly, and now Nick and Judy are stuck together by an incriminating adorable carrot recorder. (The B Story, the relationship, has intertwined with the A Story.)


Because of that …

Nick takes Judy to the place he saw Otterton go, a place he thinks will cause her to give up. 

Turn: She doesn’t quit, she marches right in. (B Story: Nick sounds surprised, and a little impressed, that she didn’t back down.)

Because of that … 

She has to question a rude yoga-performing elephant. 

Turn: Though the elephant is absolutely no help, the seemingly addled yak is more than helpful – he even remembers the license plate number of the car Emmitt left in. 

Because of that …

Nick thinks his part in this endeavor is complete. But Judy remembers that she’s not in the system yet, and thus can’t run a plate. Nick, however, can. And he’s going to, or else. 

Turn: It just so happens that he has a pal at the DMV. 

Because of that …

Sloths. He takes her to a DMV run by sloths and wastes as much of her precious dwindling time as he can.

Turn: “It’s night?!”

Because of that …

Legitimate Enterprise Car Service (at least that’s what it’s called in the screenplay) is closed. Judy doesn’t have a warrant and Nick is enjoying her suffering tremendously. After a spat, she tosses the carrot over the fence instead of handing it to him.

Turn: Because she has now seen a shifty low-life climbing the fence, she has probable cause, and doesn’t need a warrant. She can go in. (B Story: Nick is looking at her with more respect.)

Because of that …

They find the car and begin investigating. The car is a crime scene; claw marks everywhere, the missing otter’s wallet … and a cocktail glass etched with a "B”.

Turn: And it all adds up for Nick. This car belongs to Mr Big, a notorious crime boss. And his polar bear henchman are right outside. They grab Judy and Nick and yank them off screen. 

Because of that  …

Judy and Nick are wedged between the bear henchman, on their way to face Mr Big. 

Turn: Nick sold him a very expensive rug that happened to be made from the fur of a skunk’s butt. Or in other words, Mr Big really doesn’t like Nick.

Because of that …

They wait fearfully for Mr Big to appear, and even when he’s revealed to be a tiny shrew, Nick still launches into obsequious and panicked mode. He tries talking his way out of it, but Mr Big really REALLY doesn’t like him. And when Judy shouts at him that she’s a cop and she has evidence on him –

Turn: “Ice ‘em.”

Because of that …

“No icing anyone at my wedding!” Fru Fru Shrew is not a happy camper. Father and daughter bicker about his promise of no murder on her wedding day, and the fact that “I have to, baby. Daddy has to.” Until – 

Turn: “She’s the bunny who saved my life yesterday. From that giant doughnut!” Well, Judy is now in Mr Big’s good books. He’s going to pay her kindness forward. Nick is floored. 

I’m gonna stop there.

SO! After going through that analysis of how the scenes are linked together, let’s abandon the “everything needs a story reason to be in there” rule, and see what happens. 

After the scene where Judy and Nick reluctantly join forces, we could add a scene where Nick is trying to remember the name of the place, and where it is. Then we could have them asking around, searching the city, refusing to ask for directions, lots of banter. THEN we can finally get to The Mystic Springs Oasis.

And after they get the plate number, maybe Nick grabs the carrot pen and makes a run for it. Then we can have a chase scene, but he gets away. Then we can have Judy trying to run the plate on her own, before realizing she isn’t in the system, and failing. Then we can have a scene where she has to track down Nick again. Then a scene where she figures out how to blackmail him into it. THEN they finally get to the DMV. 

And you know what would have happened then?

Zootopia would have made everyone bored. 

All of these inserted scenes are unnecessary. Sure, they might add conflict, add complications to Judy’s quest, but they’re ultimately just filler. They’re just there for the sake of bulking out the story. This is why that tip I hear so often in writing circles always perplexes me: “Figure out the worst possible thing that can happen to your character, then do that.” If people went with this rule, they’d just keep throwing terrible things at the characters for no apparent reason, one after another, and the reader or audience would be expected to be entertained by it (but wouldn’t be). It would be like cartoons before Mickey Mouse came along and applied story to animation: before, cartoons were just gag after gag, slapstick situations mashed together like a funny video compilation. Except with books and movies, it would just be conflict-heavy situations strung together, taking an inordinate amount of time to make any actual progress.  

Once you make sure everything has a purpose within the narrative, things get so much better.  And I find, when I reread my work I don’t have to scream at myself to “love your book or else” if everything has a reason for being there. And instead of feeling like yelling at my story like an angry overworked crab, I feel a lot more like this gif.

I hope it works for you too.

The problem with heartbreak is that it’s not solely your heart that breaks. When you get your heart broken, it divides your body and soul. Emotions are not perceptible - they are you, and they consume you. And then you start to doubt; you doubt yourself or those around you. You either become self-loathing or cynical.

But the thing is, pain teaches you so much about yourself. Getting your heart broken is a journey. It doesn’t get easier, but you unknowingly become much stronger. And even though memories and pain sneak up on you along the way, eventually, you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

—  thoughtsofla 
Let me tell you something, kid. I know that you’re sad. And I know that you think some boy with pretty eyes who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts is the answer. But he isn’t the answer. Or the savior. Or the light at the end of the tunnel. He’s just a boy with pretty eyes who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. And I know that you want him to reach a hand to the floor and help you stand again, but he can’t fix you. He’s sad, too. He’s looking for the answer. And newsflash: it isn’t you. It isn’t anybody. Because people aren’t going to teach you how to wake up even when it’s hard, and how to feel life all the way to your gut without trying to throw it back up, and how to demand your own kindness. No, kid. That’s something you have to figure out for yourself.

bangtan is a living testament to the fact that hard work pays off 

they came from nothing, they came from crippling debt in an unknown company, they pushed through so many failures and disappointments and people who told them to give up. they always remained humble and worked their asses off, even though there was no clear light at the end of the tunnel 

they worked and worked until they were sick, and then they kept on working, because they had such an intense drive to succeed and prove their talent to the world. they came from nothing, and now they’ve won artist of the year

all this time they’ve remained humble and strong, and i couldn’t possibly be more proud of how far they have come

Let’s talk about something I never realized.

I had always assumed that the Beast heard Belle say “I love you” before he “died.”  But no, your hearing doesn’t miraculously stay or something weird like that.  Adam didn’t hear her say it.

So imagine him fading away thinking that even though his life had been horrible, there was one small light that really truly meant the world over and more to him, and that he was glad that her face would be the last thing he’d ever see…

…then suddenly he’s feeling less cold and much more warm, and there’s a golden light at the end of a tunnel, and he’s still not sure if he’s alive, but then there’s more and more of it and he’s back in the West Wing, standing upright, his bare feet cold on the tile floor, his hair tickling his face and neck, claws absent from smaller, thinner hands, fingers, and it’s not a dream, it’s not a dream, it’s not a dream

And then he turns around and sees Belle standing there, shocked into silence but unafraid, fearless.  He stares at her incredulously because there’s only one way this could be happening: she loves him.  He used to think such an emotion was impossible and yet here he is and she loves him

He wants to run into her arms and laugh and cry and jump but he can only convey this with a look, an expression.  The night is over, the sun has risen, and the curse is lifted, but he did nothing, it was her, his beauty, his angel, his saving grace.

She smiles in realization, their lips touch, and his world is ablaze with life, love, color.  The ground shakes beneath their feet and dawn breaks across the castle.  This is his new beginning, his rebirth into a better life, a better man, and he is not alone anymore, he will never be alone again.

for she has set him free.

The problem with heartbreak is that it’s not solely your heart that breaks. When you get your heart broken, it divides your body and soul. Emotions are not perceptible - they are you, and they consume you. And then you start to doubt; you doubt yourself or those around you. You either become self-loathing or cynical.

But the thing is, pain teaches you so much about yourself. Getting your heart broken is a journey. It doesn’t get easier, but you unknowingly become much stronger. And even though memories and pain sneak up on you along the way, eventually, you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

—  LA // excerpt from a book I’ll never write
Eventually, all the bad things go away. You will always heal no matter how dark and depressing things get when it comes to life and love. You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you it’s there. You need to encourage yourself to keep on going because one day you’re going to look back and you’ll be glad you didn’t admit defeat.
—  Alyssa Ho