there is like half a shot left

little purple bruises

two posts in two days?! what?! don’t get used to it.
warnings: smut (a bit more kinky than usual), swearing.

“Are you nearly done-?”
“Nope.” You replied firmly.
You were at the Phan apartment, sitting in the office finishing writing a paper. Phil was catching up on some “secret business” with Peej which he had refused to tell you about (though you’d get it out of him later you were sure), which left just you and a very needy Dan. Who, right now, groaned from the doorway.
“You’ve been working for hours. Can’t you just take a tiny break?”
“Dan,” you stopped typing and shot him a warning look.
“Fine. I’ll stop,” he sighed, moving to stand behind you. “I just really need you.”
“I know you do, but can you need me in like half an hour?” You asked, continuing to type.
He sighed heavily and sat on the floor next to you. You stopped typing again, and rubbed your temples. Dan, when he was aroused and whiny, was extremely persuasive. He’d beg, he’d tease, he’d even try to piss you off so you would have your way with him.
“You know what, fine. Go to the bedroom. Take your clothes off and get on the bed. Don’t touch yourself,” you instructed quietly. Dan, with one last triumphant smirk, was out of the room in a heartbeat. You gave him a few minutes head start while you saved your work, then made your way to his room.
He lay on the bed, as instructed, pale skin almost glowing, watching intently as you stripped to your underwear, and swallowing hard as you climbed onto the mattress, crawling up slowly until you hovered over him. You smirked, and fixed his minor fringe gap before lowering your lips to his jaw. He moaned at the contact, and his large hands automatically gripped your hips. You paused and pulled away.
“Nuh-uh. No touching. You know the rules. You interrupted me, so what does that mean?”
“I don’t get to touch you.”
“And?”
“I don’t get to come until you tell me,” he choked out, voice thick with arousal. You grinned.
“Safe word?”
“Red.”
“Good boy,” you rewarded him with a kiss to the base of his throat, causing him to elicit a soft moan. You grabbed his wrists and pulled the leather ties out of the drawer by his bedside, binding them and tying him to the headboard. You weren’t gentle, and as soon as the leather secured around his skin he moaned again, louder this time.
“Mm, you like being tied up, don’t you, baby boy?” You murmured, which caused him to pull against the restraints, hips stuttering involuntarily, as he breathed out a “ohhh, yes, y/n, fuck.”
You smiled and slid down his body, leaving just the ghosts of kisses in your wake, while he squirmed below you, needing more contact. Dan, when in a submissive headspace, was not subdued. He exerted more energy with all the struggling than he did than when he was dominant, and was twice as vocal.
You planted an actual kiss on his side and hip, in the area he was insecure about, then kissed down his flesh until you reached his thighs. You spread them and nipped at his inner thighs, and heard him groan above you.
“Do you want me to touch you, baby? Want me to blow you? Hm? Is that what you want? My mouth?”
Dan let his head fall back with another groan at your words.
“Please,” he begged, “yes, please.”
“Hm,” you hummed against his thigh as you thought about it. “You did interrupt me, but I will, only because you asked so nicely.”
You licked up his length and kissed his tip before you wrapped your lips around his head, taking him into the back of your throat. If Dan had been moaning before, it was nothing compared to the erotic mewls and keens now leaking from his lips. You moaned around him, and quickened your pace, having to push his hips down into the mattress to stop his writhing and bucking up into your mouth.
“Fuck, y/n, let me touch you. Please,” he panted after a while, lean biceps straining against the bondage straps pathetically.
“Don’t push it,” you warned, almost a snarl, as you replaced your mouth with your hand. Dan’s pupils were blown wide, his cheeks flushed pink as he watched you lean up so you were eye level. You hovered dangerously close, mere centimetres away. His eyes flicked between yours and he let out a whispered plea.
“Please.”
You cocked your head to observe him, in all his ethereal desperation.
“No.”
A tortured whine escaped his lips, but was quickly cut off as your hand swiftly circled his throat. His pupils, if possible, grew wider. You’d talked about his choking kink before, but had never acted upon it. That was about to change.
“I said, no. You don’t get to touch me. I get to touch you. You’ve been misbehaving, I think you deserve to be choked,” you whispered. The truncated moan in response was enough permission you needed. You tightened your grip, not enough to cut off his air supply, just enough to make breathing uncomfortable, and leave little purple bruises. He loved that, the hickeys, the scratches, the teeth marks. He liked to admire them afterwards, and kiss over the top of the ones he left on you.
He was getting close, you could tell by the way his thighs started to spasm. You continued pumping him with one and and choking him with the other, breathing praises down his neck as you did so, until he was shuddering as he tried to hold off his orgasm. You let go of his throat.
“It’s ok, kitten. Let go. Come all my over my hand, you know you want to.”
Dan needed no encouragement. His back was already arching off the mattress, eyes shut tight, screaming a string of profanities interspersed by cries of your name. By the time the shudders of pleasure had stopped wracking his body and he came back to reality, you’d freed him from his restraints and cleaned up his mess with a tissue.
“Was that ok?” You murmured, kissing his cheek gently.
“I- fuck. Yes. God, that was incredible.”
You chuckled softly and lay next to him, pulling him into your arms and pressing your lips to his slightly sweaty forehead.
“Thank you,” he whispered into your chest.
“Shh. You deserved it. Despite you pestering me all day.”
No response.
“Dan?”
But he was already asleep. You smiled and traced your fingertips over his skin gently. It was a habit you’d developed, trying to memorise every millimetre of him. You paused when you reached his neck, admiring the little bruises you had left there. They looked like watercolour splotches on beautiful cream paper. You smiled into Dan’s hair and closed your own eyes, content in his warm embrace.

Birblr Photography: Harder Than It Looks

Sometimes the stars align, your camera is out, your bird wants to pose, and you capture that 24 parrot gold!

Most of the time though, bird owners are left with 90% of their pictures looking like some awful abstract art…

Or makes it appear as if your bird is morphing into another dimension…

Seriously, WTF is going on with Willa’s head?


Half the times, all the bird wants to do is eat your phone or camera…


And don’t forget, birds blink just like humans and ruin even the most seemingly perfect photo shoot…


Action shots on an outdated camera phone? Forget about it!


And just when you think you captured the perfect picture for your holiday card… the horrible lighting in your kitchen destroys it!

We are hard at work, trying for those perfect photos for you Birblr, but in the meantime, please enjoy some of these outtakes! 

wait for me to come home | isaac lahey one-shot

Originally posted by itsbecauseteenwolf

prompt: (nonsexual acts) slow dancing with isaac & adjusting his tie

pairing: isaac lahey x oc

rating: is angsty!isaac a rating? also fluff 

requested by anon

a/n: i was inspired to write this while listening to “photograph” by ed sheeran and it’s advisable that you do the same. :)

Keep reading

One time when Lance was like nine he was left unsupervised, so he snuck into one of his older sister’s rooms to snoop around and he found her makeup. Specifically, her eyeliner. And Lance, as a child with poor impulse control, decided to give it a shot and tried to do his own makeup.

It was ugly. Lance couldn’t even look his reflection in the eye. ‘No one can ever know about this,’ he thought as he began washing his face with water.

Unfortunately for Lance… No one had ever told him that you need makeup remover to get off the Hell Substance that is eyeliner. Instead of removing every trace of Lance’s shame, the water instead spread the black eyeliner around until Lance began looking like a stand-in for the Winter Soldier instead of the cute little boy his mom said he was.

Stricken by the thought that he would look like a raccoon for the rest of his life and unable to cope, Lance began to cry. This was how his older sister found him half an hour later, sitting on her bed and weeping into her sheets. Lance’s older sister, out of the kindness of her heart, took only a few photos before she helped Lance clean his face, saving his life and cementing her place as Lance’s favorite sibling.

Touched by his declarations of undying familial love, Lance’s older sister proceeded to correctly do his eye makeup (Lance was very insistent on it) and then showed him how to actually put on eyeliner. From then on, it became their special ritual; before any big moment in their lives, Lance would help his sister apply her makeup.

And that is why Lance is ridiculously skilled at doing winged eyeliner.

the First

Prompt: Liam and the reader are best friends. One night they are hanging out and Liam discovers that the reader has never been kissed before so he offers to show her how to kiss

Note: I have never been kissed before so this was a bit of a challenge to write… hopefully it turned out okay!


Laughing, I crossed the finish line. Liam groaned and tossed his remote to the floor. “I’m tired of this!” He exclaimed, watching as Princess Peach blew kisses. “We’ve been playing Mario Kart for like three hours and you’ve won every time.”

           “Don’t give up on me now, Donkey Kong.” I punched his shoulder. “You still have half a lap left.”

           “Oh, shut up.” He grumbled, shoving his hand deep into the popcorn bowl and then stuffing his mouth.

           “Aw, c’mon, Dunbar. Don’t be a sore loser.”

           Under his breath, Liam mimicked me. That only made me laugh harder. He rolled his eyes. “This isn’t that funny, Y/N.”

           I caught my breath and held my hands up in surrender. “You’re right. You sucking at Mario Kart and complaining when you lose is not funny at all. Here, I’ll play something for you on the world’s smallest violin to express my greatest sympathies.” I rubbed the tips of thumb and pointer finger close to his face; he swatted my hand away as I giggled.

           “Alright, Mr. Krabs- at least I think he was the one to do that…” Liam shook his head. “Whatever. I’m going to grab another Gatorade. Do you want one?”

           “Yes, please, if you don’t mind.” I puzzled over what course to play next. I knew that whatever I picked Liam would just suck at, but it still was quite a decision. By the time he came back and plopped down beside me, I still hadn’t picked one.

           Without even having to ask, Liam opened my bottle and passed it to me. “Thanks.” I leaned over to peck his cheek. “You know me so well.”

           Liam smirked. “Everyone knows that you can’t open Gatorade by yourself.”

           I nodded my head, taking a long sip. “That’s why I need a boyfriend. But I guess you’ll do for now.” I nudged his shoulder and continued to mull over the different course options. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Liam making a face. “What?” I asked, not looking away from the screen.

           “Nothing, I guess.”

           “Liam, spit it out. What?”

           “Alright, alright! Geez.” He sighed and took another swig. “I was just wondering… have you ever had a boyfriend?”

           My tone sharpened automatically. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

           Liam held his hands up. “I’m not trying to be mean or anything. I was just wondering because, you know, you went to an all-girls school before, and…” He shrugged. “I was curious. I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

           “No, it’s fine.” I licked over my lips. “I don’t blame you for being curious. I’m fascinating.” Liam rolled his eyes while I laughed. “But in all seriousness, no, I have never had a boyfriend.”

           He thought over this new information for a minute. Then he stated, “But you want one. So does that mean you have your eye on someone?”

           Cheeks burning, I quickly turned my attention back to the television. “Liam, can we just play the game? Please?”

           His bright blue eyes lit up. “So you do like someone!”

           “Liam.”

           “You’re avoiding the question. That means that you like someone.”

           “No, that means you’re being annoying and I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

           Liam was quiet. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. Although Liam was my best friend, he was also my crush, and I didn’t want to mess everything up by telling him that. I couldn’t lose Liam. He was one of the few people who welcomed me to Beacon Hills High after I got kicked out of my old school.

           Suddenly, Liam broke the silence. “Y/N, have you ever even kissed anyone?”

           I felt very small as I attempted to respond with malice, “Why does it matter?” Instead, my voice sounded small and soft.

           “I’m going to take that as a no.” Liam sucked in a deep breath, and then asked, “Do you want me to teach you?”

           My brow wrinkled. “What do you mean?” I was listening to him, but I was also trying to decide if I wanted to play Rainbow Road or not.

           “I could teach you how to kiss.”

           The Wii remote fell from my hands. Brows raised, I demanded, “Come again?”

           “I could be your first kiss. I could teach you how to kiss so it wouldn’t be awkward or anything. If you want, of course. I mean, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I just want to help you out. Um…” He scratched the back of his head. It was obvious from the flush on his cheeks that he was a little embarrassed.

           Without thinking, I said, “Okay.”

           Liam’s eyes widened. “A-alright. Great.” He cleared his throat. “I, um… here, turn and face me.”

           It was awkward, of course. My heart was pounding; my legs didn’t want to cross so I had to maneuver them with my hands to get myself situated. Liam watched me the entire time. I noticed his eyes would appear lighter for a second, almost a pale yellow, but when I would look back, they were blue.

           “Okay, um, just relax, I guess.” He instructed. I left my hands in my lap and stared at him. One of Liam’s hands came up to push my hair out of my eyes while the other cradled my face. “Close your eyes.” His voice had dropped to a deep whisper; I didn’t even hesitate to shut them.

           My breathing got slightly heavier when I felt how close he was, to the point where I could feel the heat coming off his body. Something soft brushed over my lips gently, and my breath hitched. Tentatively, Liam pressed his lips against mine. The feeling was foreign, but it wasn’t bad. In fact, it actually felt kind of… good. I leaned into him, trying to get more…

           It was over just as quickly as it had begun. Liam rested his forehead against mine. “There you go,” He mumbled. “Your standard kiss delivered by yours truly.” I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, he continued to ramble on. “I feel so dirty now. I took your first kiss. I mean, I just took it. Did you see that? I just went right in and-”

           “Liam,” I found my voice. “Thanks.”

           He fumbled with his words before finally saying, “You’re welcome.” His eyes were still closed, like he was afraid of seeing my expression when he asked, “Do you want me to kiss you again?”

           “Would that be weird?” I was mesmerized by the shape of his lips: their fullness; their shade; the way they moved when he spoke.

           “Not really.” He promised. “I, um… there’s different kinds of kisses, you know?”

           “Yeah, I know.”

           “I’d, um, be down to show you how to do them. But only if you’re cool with it.”

           I nodded quickly. “Very cool with it.”

           Liam gulped. “Okay, well… that was your basic kiss, I guess. You know, for goodbyes or hellos or just because. Here’s the chaste peck.” Like lightening, he sealed his lips over mine for the briefest second. “That’s a good one to use in the hallways, I think.” On impulse, I leaned forward and pecked his lips. “See! Just like that.” He smiled. “You’re going to be a pro in no time!”

           Snickering, I teased, “You sound like a proud parent.”

           “Pull my hair and call me ‘Daddy’ and I will be.” He joked.

           Giggling, I poked his cheek. “I’ll get right on that.”

2

A shot of all the warriors at the Dragon Age Gathering! The first photo featuring the warriors showing off and the second photo featuring a very smug pairing (or, as Anders likes to say, the most obnoxious couple in Thedas). ;) 

Carver (on the left) by @harrowingwhisperer

Fenris by one half of @arteetmarteduos

Caver (on the right) by @actualarishok 

Photo by the other half of @arteetmarteduos

(Leave a note if you’re not tagged and would like to be!)

Dragon Age Gathering, SacAnime Winter 2017

My Fault

This is a one-shot sequel to Let Our Fires Melt This Frozen Heart! Heavy spoilers ahead if you haven’t read it. 

A month after the tiring series of events, guilt goes around the household and certainly won’t be resolved by staying silent. 

Sabo combed his hair one last time, examined the result in the mirror, and grinned. He left the bathroom and entered the kitchen, and Luffy looked up curiously. 

“What do you think?” Sabo said proudly. He had combed his hair over the left side of his face, just about covering the burn-like scar which had half-blinded him in that eye. 

“Your hair’s long!” Luffy exclaimed in wonder. “It’s weird!” 

“Does it look okay?” Sabo pressed, fidgeting as he sat at the table with him. Indeed, he hadn’t had a haircut for nigh five months, the first four due to forgetfulness and preoccupation with worry, the last one due to hide—well. 

“It’s weird,” Luffy repeated, staring. “Why’d you put it like that?” 

“Well—” Sabo glanced away. “Grandpa’s visiting soon, and if he sees this thing—” He touched the part of the scar on his neck; it went down to his shoulder before stopping— “he’s bound to ask questions.” 

“But it doesn’t look bad,” Luffy said, not understanding. 

“It does too,” Sabo muttered. “And that’s not really the point.” 

“What’re you guys talking about?” 

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@meadow-of-muses  liked this post for a starter!

The bar seem empty tonight, only a few people. He had expected more, being a half - bar half - restaurant sort of deal, and well known. Not that it matter, he took his shot. “Another!” he announces.

What was up with him and drinking these days? Was it the holidays? The decreasing amount of people willing to bed him? Stupid morals. Now they wanted to have that, when he needed them most. Another swig.

A voice seems to call to him. Dark eyes scan the even darker room landing on a person across the ways. Alone at a table, interesting. Taking another shot, he finds himself wobbling to stand as he fumbles across the room. “Hello~” he swoons, somehow landing in the seat next to them. Fingers reach to be wrapped in that beautiful hair. No permission was offered, he didn’t care. “Are you busy tonight?” He knew the answer, nobody denied him. Hanamaru leans closer, inhaling their scent.

“It was then that that son-of-a-bitch Optimus Prime, he turned to me and his chest opened up and he shot me. With a circular buzzsaw. Sliced me right in half. Vertically. Like hot dog-style, not hamburger. Yeah, I survived somehow, but the entire right side of my body, it’s a robot. But I wasn’t sliced perfectly in half, Bug. No. See, in the heat of battle, my ample body was glazed in sweat. The sweat had plastered my nutsack to my right leg and when I got sliced in half, I lost ‘em. The only thing I got left, on account of it’s the left side of my body that survived, is my human heart. And now you know, Bug. I ain’t got no balls, but I’m all heart.”

- Commander Up, Starship, Act 2 Part 3

Your pastiche is not subversive: Kingsman’s conservatism

I had high hopes for Kingsman: The Secret Service. There are gifsets of it all over Tumblr. Everybody said it was great and fun and refreshing. Even my beloved Foz Meadows praised it as ‘a biting debunk of the James Bond franchise… it takes all of Bond’s hallowed trappings – the spy gadgets, the sharp suits, the suave badassery – and explicitly removes both the misogyny and the classism that traditionally underpins them.’ So, having grown up on the Bond movies, I was eager to witness it for myself. And indeed I spent most of the film half-convinced that I liked it, or at least that I was going to, any minute now.

But despite the excellent direction, choreography, and clever humor, I was left wondering what the hell everyone else had been watching when they said it was progressive.

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My other D&D character, Hyacinthe! She’s a Half-Elf Wild Magic Sorcerer! I drew a pretty lazy/quick piece, it’s not my best, but it’s somethin’!

I had her planned out a while back, but it wasn’t until December did I actually get to use her! (it was for @kawaiitimecharm‘s cool neato one-shot!)

This was like, when she was still livin’ at home with her parents and bro, and just, wild magic shit happened and she just can’t really control it??? Like she kinda almost killed her brother one time???? And she felt so guilty about it????? And then she kinda just??? Left home?????? There’s more to that btw.

Hyacinthe’s Short Backstory

@saltliicker

                                                 shadows settle on the place, that you left.

      she watched with blurry vision as neil’s body was left behind. like he had been NOTHING, like he didn’t even matter. that’s how he died. someone came from behind them while they were hunting down some rabbits and they shot neil clean through the head. summer almost didn’t see it happening – in fact, she only saw him hitting the ground. moments later, someone PUNCHED her behind the head and she was out. she could feel that her wrists were tied and that someone was carrying her away. neil lied on the floor. she couldn’t even say goodbye. she couldn’t even protect him. seconds later, she was out again.

                                                our minds are troubled by the emptiness.

      the next time she came to, summer found herself in an empty room. well, almost empty. she was there, and a couple of guys were watching her. they kept talking to her as if they knew her, talking about how she killed a bunch of their men. she was ready to say that they had it all wrong when IT ALL CLICKED – faster than she would have expected to, in fact. autumn. she was the one they were after. it was just a coincidence that they found the twin that they probably didn’t even know autumn had. 

                                                destroy the middle, it’s a waste of time.

      whatever they were planning to do with summer, they wanted to do it to autumn. and if summer somehow could prove that she wasn’t her sister, they would either kill her or let her go, but mainly, they would go after her. funny thing, love. the same sister she hadn’t seen in over a year because she left everett after a fight was the one making summer make what was probably the worst decision of her life. but FUCK IT. they wouldn’t take her, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE HER, not autumn. summer wasn’t afraid of dying. she was almost eighteen – she had lived enough and that world had brought her nothing but pain.

                                                from the perfect start to the finish line.

      ❝ oh yeah, i remember you fuckers now. ❞ she tried to sound as much as possible like her older twin. did she even remember it still?  ❝ you have me. so, what are you going to do? ❞ yes. the worst decision of her life. the two days that followed would be what summer’d remember as the worst days of her entire existence. she had never been tortured before. not like that. and she kept hoping they’d kill her or that her body would just give up, but nothing happened. only pain. and she felt as if it wasn’t going to end.

Flash Freeze Fic #1

Thanks to @kate2kat and @scribblscrabbl for coming up with this challenge! I’m breaking the rules a bit here, but I think it works out.

Warning for mild homophobia 


“Hello Arthur, thanks again for finally calling last week about your sister’s baby shower. Which is still tomorrow, by the way. Don’t be late, and for God’s sake—don’t you dare bring him. I won’t have Eleanor dealing with your… proclivities when she should be concentrating on the baby and—”

At times like this, Arthur wishes he still had a flip-phone so hanging up on his brother-in-law (well, the voicemail his brother-in-law left him) would be more satisfactory.  

“Fuck,” he says, throwing the phone onto the bed. It thumps against his half-packed suitcase.

“Darling?” Eames ducks into the bedroom of their hotel suite.

“Fucking Dave,” says Arthur. “I’m sorry I didn’t RSVP on time, we were getting shot at in Mexico City and I wasn’t exactly going to put saving our fucking lives on hold so I could let them know by the reply date.”

“Ignore him, love,” says Eames, tossing one of the rare t-shirts that could belong to either of them on the bed for Arthur to pack. “We’ll charm all of your cousins and—”

“He doesn’t want you to come,” Arthur bites out.

Keep reading

5

Dragon Age Gathering, SacAnime Summer 2016!

Top to bottom: 

Dragon Age 2 group shot!

Fenris: Fenris (right) by half of @arteetmarteduos

Anders: Anders (right) by the other half of @arteetmarteduos, Anders (left) by @lets-become-stories

Warriors: fem!Cullen by @kieranscosplay, Aveline (left) by @destinyofamerath, Aveline (right) by @swordsxandxshields, Carver by @harrowingwhisperer

Mages: Merrill by @mononoke2468, Hawke (left) by @seasaltaddict, Hawke (right) by @sailortrashface, Inquisitor by @kitogic, Fiona by @wanderingdalish

*If you’re not tagged and would like to be, message me! :)

Photos taken by the stupendous @terracanta

there is a cabinet in chowder and lardo’s shared bathroom full of their favorite snacks from their childhood.

they’ll share pocky and chips when lardo works on her art or when chowder’s busy writing a paper. they’ll wipe off the chocolate from the yan yan and get their fingers all sticky. but it’s worth it because the chocolate is damn delicious

wrappers are everywhere. hello panda and koala bites foil wrappers litter the floors and overflow trash bins. empty bags of shrimp chips are left crumpled at the edges of desks and shelves. they never get around to cleaning it up. they never do 

lardo complains about the bin bin rice crackers leaving crumbs everywhere and chowder ends up throwing a half-eaten chocopie at her, leaving even more crumbs everywhere. (lardo wonders if she can use these crumbs in an art piece about cultural identity)

lardo prefers either mogu mogu or the unsweetened jasmine green tea that they sell in japanese stores. chowder loves milky drinks, like milo or calpico

chowder and lardo find a way to make lychee jelly shots and the classic yakult-soju-sprite cocktail. it is the highlight of the party and ransom and holster are begging them to make it again for the next kegster

when life gets a little too rough around the edges, when school gets too stressful or things get too overwhelming, they drive out to boston for comfort food that reminds them of home, pho for lardo, wonton noodle soup for chowder, or even soondubu at their favorite korean restaurant.

they’ll get boba at a cute place, lardo with taro milk tea and chowder with lavender milk tea and sit at the couches while they share popcorn chicken at the highest spice level. sometimes they’ll say nothing or they’ll talk the whole night away until the store is closing and bitty’s texting them asking where they are

the haus has never felt more like a home away from home until now

Imagine Dean winding you up after you make a slip up...

“Come on, can I buy you a drink?” Dean said with a smile and a bump on the arm. It’d been a long hunt but he seemed in surprisingly good spirits… or maybe it was the spirits causing it? He’d been drinking off the top shelf a lot.

“I’m actually alright - still on my first!” You replied, holding up your pint that still had a good quarter left. You weren’t in any rush today, just relaxed and enjoying the company.

Apparently though, that was the wrong answer as Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he spluttered out, “You’ve been here over 2 hours?! How’ve you only drunk that?”

“So what? Sue me! I like taking my time!” You said, rolling your eyes, “Anyway, someone has to keep half an eye on your sorry ass, or were you going to get in baby in a drunken haze?”

“I could sleep in baby,” He said, looking a little dejected.

“Yeah, and then where’s Sam and I meant to sleep? He can’t drive tonight, so if I drink we really are camping.”

“So?”

“So there’s not enough room for you two giants and me.”

A grin came over Dean’s face and he dropped down to a low voice so that only you could hear, “Well Sammy could sleep in the front and you could sleep on top of me.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks and you threw him a disapproving look before taking a couple of gulps of your drink. You’d hoped your reaction wasn’t obvious and that you’d masked it as annoyance but Dean’s raised eyebrow and smirk said differently.

“Well, Y/N, it could be arranged anytime. Y'know I-”

“Just drink your drink, Winchester.”

He smirked and threw you a wink, not believing your act for a moment. “Yes, boss.”

Ferret

This was inspired by a conversation with @kylissia, hope you like it hun! It’s a bit rushed, I was worried you’d go to bed before I finished (*shakes fist at time zones*)

Or read on AO3.


“Sod off, ferret!” Ron snapped. “No one asked for your opinion!”

Draco flushed and shot Harry a dark glare. Harry covered his laugh with a cough and turned back to his work.

Once class was over, Harry packed up his things quickly.

“What’s the hurry, mate?” Ron asked, eyeing him curiously.

“Things to do, gotta’ bounce!” Harry called over his shoulder as he left.

Draco made a choking sound as he packed his things away. Ron sent him a smirk.

“Harry’s been thinking of some great ways to mention the Bouncing Ferret Incident without actually saying ferret,” he said to Hermione. “Dunno why he’s bothering though, even I don’t understand them half the time. Though it makes Malfoy look like a tomato each time.”

Draco shot them both a dark glare as Ron sniggered at him. Sticking his nose in the air, he stormed out of the classroom.

***

“What do you mean, you’re dating the ferret?” Ron gasped. “Since when? Why?”

“Oh, for months,” Harry said, looking at Draco as he, predictably, turned red. “You don’t have a problem do you?”

Ron glanced between them, spluttering. Finally, he deflated. “Nah, if you’re happy, I’m happy, mate,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder. “But the ferret? Really?”

Harry sniggered and Draco glared at him. “You may want to stop calling him that,” he suggested.

Ron looked between them. “Why? It’s my favourite! He can learn to deal with it.”

“It’s our safeword,” Harry said calmly, right as Ron was taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

He dutifully thumped Ron on the back as he spluttered, and winced sympathetically at Hermione, who was now covered in pumpkin juice.

Malfoy was sniggering and Harry couldn’t help but join in.

8

“When John was a child the legends of the jungle were his fairy tales. His favorite was the story of El Viejo del Monte. The Old Man of the Forest. A merciless hunter who killed every animal in his path. El Viejo didn’t eat his prey. He left it behind to rot in the soil. To teach him a lesson, the gods turned him into a simisco: half animal, half man. He was condemned to defend the jungle for all eternity.”