there is a boat for everyone

Types of Ships
  • Ships: the average joe
  • Boats: tiny ships that don't last for too long
  • Submarines: unknown/widely unpopular ships
  • Ghost ships: sunken ships that still sail, where one/both sides of the ship have died
  • Battleships: antis; they sink other ships for their own benefit, and are the cause of many ships wars
  • Water Police: they are the peaceful kind; they ship anything, and are always trying to (unsuccessfully) prevent ship wars
  • The Titanic: huge ships, usually OTPs that everyone knows are going to sink at some point
  • The Ark: end-game OTPs. Like it or not, everyone knows they're going to happen
memes among the dregs
  • “and that’s why they call me two guns jesper”
  • scheming face
  • “get a girl who looks at you like kaz looks at money”
  • “crows arent real”
  • drawing a goose on your non-tattooed arm and pretending like that’s the new gang symbol
  • “i think this is a flute moment”
  • “careful, inej is probably watching”
  • pointing at any imagery of a dog/wolf and being like “matthias is this you”
  • everyone is at least 30% in love with nina zenik
  • “i love you, but not enough to buy you a boat and reunite you with your family”
    “yeah same”
  • muttering “no mourners, no funerals” whenever kaz verbally drags someone through the mud
  • waffles
  • everyone getting sick of the waffles meme
  • using the waffles meme ironically
  • one time inej stole kaz’s hat just to see if she could and no one will shut up about it
  • making up ridiculous ketterdam slang and convincing matthias that that’s what people actually say
  • “nice ___” “yeah i bought it legally” *laughter*
  • whenever they get hate mail/threats wylan picks it up and “reads” whatever it was as a gushing compliment to the receiver
  • kuwei discovering really bad pick up lines. jesper encourages this.
  • one time, after a very successful scam/heist, kaz took a handful of bills and made it rain. no one is quite sure this actually happened, even though they were there for it
types of ships
  • gigantic deluxe cruise: 34705 search results on everywhere, dominates the fanzine market, badass edits with lots of heart-wrenching quotes since they’re probably the main characters. author probably shipped them as well, tbh. usually the “opposite personality” pair, overused tropes, nicknames, etc.
  • modest viking longship: has been there since the beginning of time, always appears as a side ship in fics, especially those with all the main cruises in one universe. yet has surprisingly little main fics considering how the characters basically aren’t shipped with anyone else but each other.
  • the “aww” submarine: that non-mainstream pair whose fanart pops up on your dash once a while. everyone lowkey ships them in a ‘in another universe where my otp didn’t exist’ way. see: “I don’t get why don’t more people ship xxx!” actually, they do.
  • the sturdy fishing boat: usually clashes with one of the mainstream ships. people either ship them, think they’re good as they are now, or oppose them with a passion. with enough supporters it may upgrade to a bigger fishing vessel, garner quite a bit of attention and start discourse with the cruise oppressors. mostly stays in their waters and are chill if u don’t insult them
  • the driftwood: tinier than the piece of lumber that jack and rose couldn’t hold on to at the same time. you need wood? you make wood. EMPHASIS: usually consists of couples that would theoretically be good together since a) they are minor characters and b) they have had zero interaction
  • the lone canoe: most perplexing of all. these characters are well known, have decent interaction, yet are never shipped together. when it is suggested people frown upon you as they are deeply rooted within their prejudices, but convert someone and you will be much more satisfied with the content than poor driftwood.
dex has red hair

i have red hair too, which is pretty awesome. and also horrible, sometimes, because being ginger affects so much more than the just the pigment of your hair. so anyways here are some facts about dex and his hair bc i can relate:

  • he’s so pale
    • he’s so pale
    • even when he kind of manages to get a little darker after a sunburn fades, he’s still paler than everyone else’s normal skin tone
  • he does not tan. ever.
    • yeah sure, he may work on a lobster boat all summer, but buddy, i promise you, he’s not gonna come out of it looking nice and bronze
      • (why do people write fics where he comes back from the summer with a killer tan??? no bro, he probably just looks like a lobster. it sucks)
    • his skin just slowly gets pinker until he has a terrible sunburn, and then sometimes if he’s lucky it will turn out a little tanner when it fades
    • he probably uses at least spf 50, lbr here
      • actually, nah probably higher than that if we’re being honest
      • and he has to apply it like every hour
    • ugh and oh my god, he probably gets splotchy sunburns!!!
      • SPLOTCHY SUNBURNS ARE THE WORST
      • basically you think you’ve put sunscreen everywhere and spread it evenly but NOPE
      • random blotches of your skin will just be bright red while the rest is ridiculously pale and you look like you have some sort of disease-ridden rash
      • it has probably happened on his face and it’s the saddest thing
  • he has freckles for dayssssss (especially after the summer because they come back in full force during that season)
    • freckles everywhere
    • in the most random places
    • some are on his lips and on the back of his knees and his elbows and just very odd places
    • its a never ending cycle of freckles fading while new freckles form
    • he kind of gets a tan through his freckles??? 
      • bc he has so many and as they fade they kind of blotch together and make him look tan, but when you look really close you’re just like, oh, those are just tiny dots bunched together, not the actual pigmentation of your skin
    • he has. SO MANY. freckles on his shoulders
      • if you are of the male specimen, you probably go out shirtless in the summertime, and the sun hits you really hard on your shoulders, and thus, so. many. freckles. there.
      • (this is literally the most prominent place of freckles for redhead boys. please ask my brother and all of my cousins)
  • “does the carpet match the drapes?” ;)
    • why do people ask this
    • he gets this all the time, and it’s not just from people hitting on him
      • PEOPLE JUST GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW FOR SOME REASON???
    • and it’s super awkward
    • especially when they don’t match. bc um. a lot of times they don’t. just so you know.
    • “haha, firecrotch, huh?”
      • will wouldn’t find this funny even if it were accurate
  • back to the sunburn thing, it’s nice in the winter when he doesn’t get fried!! JUST KIDDING BC BLUSHING IS A THING
    • yeah anytime he gets remotely embarrassed or flustered, his face is the color of a tomato okay
    • even if he’s not actually uncomfortable, it still happens
      • “dex, nice shirt, man.” ➝ red face
      • “dude, nice assist!”➝ red face
      • *accidentally bumps into someone* ➝ red face
    • anytime nursey says anything ever, his face is red. i promise you this. i know this to be true
  • HE NEVER WEARS RED
    • or pink or orange, for that matter
    • (but i mean he goes to samwell so the red thing is kind of hard)
    • he unintentionally gravitates towards green and blue clothing bc his mom probably accidentally instilled in him that they compliment his hair as a child
      • this is so real. this is the realest, most relatable thing
    • going to samwell was probably super weird bc he had to start buying spirit wear and stuff and when he did, he realized he didn’t own any other red clothing
  • people always make irish jokes or assume he is irish, especially around st. patricks day
    • dex has no idea if he is irish
  • people always ask if another redhead they know is related to him
    • no
  • he has heard every “ginger” joke under the sun
    • no one has ever actually bullied him for it
    • but everyone makes the same jokes
    • will basically mouths the words as people say them bc he knows them so well at this point
    • he’s not actually bothered or offended, it’s just like… dude. he’s heard this before. you’re not being original
      • it’s very boring and a little irritating
    • but if he gets annoyed or doesn’t laugh people think he is a bad sport, so!!! he laughs them off even though he’s very disinterested and wants to tell them to maybe get some new material so they can actually say something remotely humorous next time
    • and he totally knows its not a big deal at all, bc some people have to deal with racist or homophobic jokes, and this doesn’t remotely compare. it’s just… very eye-roll inducing.
  • he gets horrible bruises for the stupidest shit, and sometimes just randomly and he’s not sure where they came from, bc ya gotta love that sensitive skin!!
  • oh and back to the ginger jokes thing, someone always makes a comment about that redhead temper!!
    • which is kind of unfortunate, bc dex kind of does have some temper issues
    • those jokes do not make him less angry either
      • (dex, seriously man. just chill for a sec)

wow this got really long and i could go on forever and ever but yeah basically this is the gist of it. also i’m aware some of this can apply to lots of people but anyways hooray for redheads!!

Yet More Top Moments in American History (pt. 3)

- Alexander Hamilton pranking everyone by pretending he could commune with ghosts until it got out of hand and he had to clear it up

- John Marshall forgetting his pants

- Aaron Burr trying to sleep on a boat, only to roll off the bed every time it turned

- Thomas Jefferson answering the door to the White House in pajamas

- Dolley Madison’s favorite ice cream flavor being oyster

- John Quincy Adams locking himself out of the White House

- Alexander Hamilton forgetting the password to get back into camp after an evening courting Eliza

- The Sedition Act

- William Maclay saying that John Adams reminded him of “a monkey put in breeches”

- Aaron Burr spending 14 shillings and 6 pence on a coconut “i.e like an ass”

- Washington crossing enemy lines to return a lost dog to general Howe

- Baron Von Stueben’s pantsless flaming shot parties

- In colonial bars you could go in and buy a hose of beer for the night for what is basically a nickel

- Alexander Hamilton misspelling Pennsylvania on the US CONSTITUTION WHICH REMAINS TO THIS DAY

- Jefferson getting to France and immediately spending 200 francs on 50 bottles of Bordeaux (200 francs was the average three month earnings of the lower class)

- Jefferson giving his inaugural addresses and no one being able to hear him

- Abigail Adams having a Newfoundland puppy named Juno

A few changes to part 5 to make the Vento Aureo anime enjoyable for everyone
  • Giorno gets killed by Koichi at the start. The protagonist is now DIO’s adoptive son Bruno Buccellati (who won’t bleach his hair)
  • Jotaro forgets to give Koichi enough money to return from Italy, so he joins the gang
  • Echoes Act 3 and Sex Pistols constantly shit talk each other
  • Everyone keeps getting mad at Koichi because he calls gelato ice cream
  • The entire convoluted boat fight is replaced by 20 minutes of the gang doing that dumb dance (you know the one)
  • Doppio gets his screen time doubled
  • Ghiaccio is slightly more pissed off about everything
  • Fugo: “I must go now, my planet needs me” *floats away*
  • Half of the budget is spent animating King Crimson’s faces

Start taking notes, David Production

I’m sorry to everyone who hates Christmas because of the fact that you have to spend it with your family. I’m sorry to everyone who is crying alone in their room right now because they will have to see their family later. I’m sorry to everyone who has been abused by their family and has to see them because it’s Christmas. I’m in the same boat as you, so please don’t ever think for a second that you’re alone. Please.

The Ten Types of Fans on Tumblr, as told by Supernatural Characters:

1.  The Becky

Generic unhinged fangirl.  Has zero concept of socially acceptable behavior, is probably a multi-shipper, and is okay with the concept of sibling incest.  Posts nothing but surprisingly well-written erotic fanfiction, and might legitimately have a member of the cast tied up in their basement. 

2.  The Gabriel 

Posts nothing but memes and crack edits.  Will find a way to make even the most heartbreaking scene seem comical and ridiculous, and you will love/hate them for it. 

3.  The Castiel

This person is an innocent in a world of shell-shocked Tumblr veterans. Is generally well-mannered and respectful, despite having to put up with a lot of bullshit from everyone else.  Doesn’t get sexual innuendos, and thinks shipping has something to do with boats. 

4.  The Ambriel 

Appears cute and innocent, but is also sort of ignorant and occasionally says something super offensive without even realizing it.  Is probably fourteen or younger.  Will not last long on this site.

5.  The Sam

Will honest-to-God post a ten chapter essay on why his OTP should be canon. Comes up with the bizarrely good headcanons, edits, and theories.  Ships Destiel like crazy.  Is obviously smart, and probably went to an ivy league college.  You will wonder why they’re not doing something more productive with their life. 

6.  The Crowley

Not to be mistaken with the Sam, this person is at least ten times smarter than everyone else, but more of a jerk about it.  They will complain about everything, from poor writing, to continuity errors, to drama within the fandom.  

They also probably post a lot of porn.

7.  The Charlie 

Posts the most adorable fanart, reblogs all your stuff, and sends you a *hugs!* in response to sad posts.  Generally someone you just really want to hang out with, and probably has the best multi-fandom blog you’ve ever seen.

8.  The Metatron

Is generally the worst in every regard.  Obnoxious, disrespectful, doesn’t tag spoilers, and will try to convince you that your favorite characters are straight.

9.  The Bobby

Legit oldest and most experienced person in the fandom.  Has lived through all the drama, and has probably met the entire cast on multiple occasions.  Should be treated with the utmost respect and reverence at all times. 

10.  The Dean 

Is just completely obsessed with Destiel.  Does things on Tumblr that they would never admit to in real life.  Posts nothing but erotic Castiel fanart, fanfiction (both fluff and smut), and bisexual pride posters.

reasons to read/watch One Piece

  • there’s an 8 foot tall talking singing skeleton with an afro who makes bad puns all the time what’s there not to love
  • there’s a 7 foot tall cyborg who hates pants and says super a lot and he’s powered by cola
  • sky islands
  • at one point someone turns into a giraffe and it’s hilarious but then the giraffe guy actually cuts a building in half because he got pissed at everyone (including his own partner) for not taking his giraffe form seriously. one of his attacks was called “pasta machine
  • the main character is canonically asexual/aromantic. one time he saw the world’s most beautiful woman half naked and his response was “Huh? Why are you naked? Where’s the food?”
  • this series will make you cry over boats and whales. and dogs. and reindeer. and hats
  • none of the main characters have a real romance or romantic relationship with anyone
  • USOPP his whole introduction arc is about him lying to a girl to make her feel better because she had depression, and it was working. (his “lies“ are larger than life stories about him as a kid pirate)
  • THERE’S A HALLOWEEN ARC I REPEAT THERE’S A HALLOWEEN ARC CALLED THRILLER BARK COMPLETE WITH ZOMBIES AND CERBERUS AND MONSTERS AND THERE’S ACTUALLY A LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR IT ALL
  • AT ONE POINT THE ZOMBIES DO A DISCO DANCE
  • there’s a guy named Buggy the Clown and he actually looks like a clown but not out of choice he was born with a big red nose and he gets pissed whenever people mention it (or sound like they mention it)
  • exploding ghosts
  • evil ventriloquist puppet pigeons that may or may not actually be evil
  • one guy’s devil fruit power is to eat anything and then turn into what he eats and it’s actually a pretty dangerous power
  • all the emphasis is on familial love and friendship
  • did i mention that one character is a tiny cute reindeer who’s also a very, very good doctor
  • ANCIENT CONSPIRACY THEORIES like there’s this whole century of history that’s been erased by the World Government and its forbidden to study it
  • there are also these things called Poneglyphs that are indestructible stones with ancient language written on them and they come from that blank century and no one is allowed to study them. the World Government says b/c of the Ancient Weapons that the Poneglyphs talk about (which are real) but in reality they don’t want the information on the people and country the stones originated from to become known knowledge. the world government literally burned down an entire island and wiped it from the map for doing this
  • BUBBLES BUBBLE BIKES AND BUBBLE CAR THINGS
  • MERMAIDS!!
  • devil fruit powers okay some of them are really cool like turning into fire or magma or causing earthquakes, but then there’s stuff like turning into a giraffe, slowing things down, being rubber, returning from the dead, controlling/becoming a ghost, controlling shadows, SPROUTING LIMBS FROM ANY SURFACE, secreting poison, being able to cut people up without killing them and switching their body parts around and switching their personalities. one character can control hormones and another can turn his hands into giant scissors. and the thing is, ALL THESE POWERS ARE STILL REALLY DANGEROUS
  • Water Luffy. Luffy is impaled by a giant hook at one point and almost dies and then like literally a day later he shows up with a giant barrel of water b/c the villain’s weakness is water. but the villain can also absorb water, so Luffy does the logical thing and CHUGS THE WHOLE BARREL OF WATER UNTIL HE LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN WATER BALLOON AND THEN HE STARTS LEAKING FROM THE VERY SERIOUS WOUND THAT NEARLY KILLED HIM AND SAYS “AHH!! I SPRUNG A LEAK!!”
  • this quote: “When does a man die? When he’s struck by a deadly disease? No. When he’s shot through the heart with a pistol? No. when eh eats soup made from a poisonous mushroom? No!! A Man dies… when people forget him.”
  • you’ll cry over that mushroom
  • Luffy’s idea of an insult is calling a guy who uses three-sword style “four -sword style”
  • also one guy holds a sword in each hand and one in his mouth and it’s badass as fuck i kid you not
  • literally no plot device is forgotten like everything mentioned at one point WILL COME BACK. one time a character was shown in a tiny panel in a super short flashback in chapter 13 or so, and then like 400-500 chapters later TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM BACKGROUND CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY A MAJOR CHARACTER
  • Angels!! Giants!! Dwarfs!! Long armed people!! Long legged people!! Minks!! Fishman!! there’s so many different species it’s great
you might be a libra moon if...

💎 having an important person in your life is extremely necessary to you. this is often perceived as the need for a relationship, but a very good friend is just as suffice. you feel your best when you have a companion

💎 you are known by many as a wonderful mediator. you have a keen ability to walk a mile in another’s shoes in just seconds, and a talent for communicating, which makes it easy for you to assist others in seeing one another’s side

💎 you often repress your own wants, needs and qualms in favor of not rocking the boat. you would rather suffer in silence than create conflict

💎 you’re somewhat of a chameleon, and may change your disposition and style of communication from person to person. this is what makes it so easy for others to like you; you appeal to everyone individually

💎 you are very skilled aesthetically, and even if you aren’t artistically inclined, you would make a wonderful photographer or designer

💎 you don’t always have a strong sense of what you want, and could definitely be described as indecisive. this can apply to everything from what you want for dinner to your personal relationships

Meanwhile on the boat that's heading away from Jabborwock Island
  • Hinata: Are we forgetting anything?
  • Kuzuryu: nope
  • Souda: Miss Sonia is here so I'm good
  • Sonia: I believe we're all set
  • Owari: I've got food with me so I'm ok
  • Hinata: Then why do I feel like we're forgetting something
  • Everyone: ...
  • Hinata: oH SHIT WE FORGOT EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ISLAND
  • Kuzuryu: FUCK TURN THE BOAT AROUND
  • Owari: *pulls on the steering wheel*
  • Owari: *steering wheel breaks*
  • Sonia: oh no
  • Hinata: FUCKKKK SOUDA FIX IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE
  • Souda: sHIT I FORGOT MY EQUIPMENT BACK ON THE ISLAND
  • Kuzuryu: DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING EARLIER YOU FUCKTARD??
  • Hinata: Okay okay, everybody CALM DOWNnnn
  • Sonia: I SHALL SWIM OVER TO SAVE THEM
  • Souda: MISS SONIA NO-
  • Sonia: *Jumps out of the boat*
  • Owari: I'M GOING TOO
  • Hinata: fuKCKKK DON'T JUST JUMP OUT THE BOAT YOU IDIOTS
  • Kuzuryu: Wait.. Hinata, do you have a license to even use a boat?
  • Hinata: h-huh? no why?
  • Kuzuryu: THEN I CAN'T BE ON THIS BOAT, WE'LL GET ARRESTED
  • Hinata: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THE POLICE ARE DEAD
  • Kuzuryu: *Jumps out*
  • Hinata: OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU FUCKS ARE SO DAMN STUPID
  • Souda: DUDE I'M GOING AFTER MISS SONIA
  • Hinata: Souda I swear to god if you even dare step out that boat-
  • Souda: *Jumps off*
  • Hinata: I hate everyone
Several hours after the Jabberwock Crew (+ Mitarai) leave FF Headquarters
  • Souda: Hey Komaeda, about Naegi...
  • Komaeda: Oh, Naegi? His luck is overwhelming! Clearly his talent is much better than mi-
  • Mitarai: Wait, I thought he was the Ultimate Hope?
  • Komaeda:
  • Komaeda:
  • Everyone minus Mitarai: o shit
  • Mitarai: ...W-why is everyone-
  • Komaeda: tURN THIS BOAT AROUND