there are so many things i'll miss

Hospital Starters
  • [ Requested by Anon about a week ago. Warnings for blood, suicidal thoughts, and medical stuff. Thanks! : ]
  • "Hey, you're awake!"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "You hit your head. There was so much blood that I got scared."
  • "Don't try to get up. You're safe here."
  • "I hate this place..."
  • "How could you do this to yourself?"
  • "The world didn't give me a choice, and now, I'm suffering even more!"
  • "You really came..."
  • "I told you I would be here when you woke up."
  • "How many tests did they do on you?"
  • "If I wasn't drugged up, I could tell you the names of every test they do in this place."
  • "When are they going to let you leave?"
  • "They said that I'll be here for a few days. Maybe a week."
  • "What happened to you? You have so many things sticking out of you."
  • "That's what happens when you're dying."
  • "It's probably time to change those bandages..."
  • "You aren't in pain, are you?"
  • "You were in an accident. You almost didn't make it."
  • "That would explain why I feel terrible."
  • "I thought you were dead..."
  • "I'm not dead, am I?"
  • "I didn't know it was this bad..."
  • "I may not live much longer..."
  • "I'm dying..."
  • "You can't die! There has to be something they can do!"
  • "I'm too far gone for any surgery to fix me."
  • "I want you to know that I'll miss you most."
  • "Don't say that! I don't like it when you talk like this..."
  • "I just want it to happen so I don't have to think about it all the time."
  • "I wanted to say goodbye to you one more time."
  • "If you don't get some sleep, I'm going to hit this button and tell a nurse you're bothering me."
  • "Don't abuse that call button!"
  • "You know that button only works every five seconds, right?"
  • "Maybe if I push it hard enough, more will come out."
  • "I get to come home today."
  • "Did you fill out the release forms yet?"
  • "They hooked me up with a bunch of prescriptions. I'm gonna be high as a kite."
A Eulogy for all the Homestuck ships that didn't make it.
  • JohnKat: Sunk by a meme. Tragic.
  • DadMom: Sunk by a violent stabbing, also Tragic.
  • JadeJohn and DaveRose: Goddamn, Hussie pulled a George Lucas on us there. "You like that ship? Well they're related now, whoopsie!"
  • JohnDave: Well, you'll always have A03 at least.
  • JadeRose: The forgotten Beta ship. You were cute.
  • DaveTavros: You were a thing apparently? Well the fanart was cute.
  • Gamrezi: You'll always have the Shelby Cragg AU's at least.
  • TaVris: Hmmm....
  • GamTav: I have so many sad and complicated feelings towards you. It's hard and nobody understands.
  • GamKar: There was so much unexplored potential and too much offscreen development.
  • JohnRose: Never liked you, but you deserved better than a bunch of people throwing a fit over a t-shirt.
  • Erisol: I'll miss the <3<, and your Sprite.
  • Equara: God remember that anon that really really really hated this ship? Remember the harassment and gore submissions? That shit was wild... and creepy. Don't do this over fictional relationships kids.
  • JasproseJane: Never saw that one coming did we?
  • JohnVris: I will Remem8er You!
  • AraSol: Confirmed? Sunk? Aw well, you had a good run.
  • SolFef: Goddamnit Eridan.
  • EriSolFef: "We coulda had it aaaaaaall"
  • Rufioh/Damara: A foot note in the backstory that could have been explored more.
  • Daverezi: Sunk offscreen no less! A true shame.
  • Karezi: Retconned out of existence and the two don't even talk anymore. Ouch.
  • EquiKar: Fuck all of you this was cute.
  • VrisKan: Sigh. Rest in Peace Vriskan, may the shippers sing you to your grave.
  • Les8fins: Damnit Aranea!
  • Les8fins 2.0: Dammnit Meenah!
  • Meulin/Kurloz: Wow, that was an odd couple wasn't it?
  • Grimluck: I want to believe.

Dear best friend,

I miss you. I know it’s been a while. I’m not even sure how long anymore because I forced myself to stop counting the days.

All I know is that I miss the way things were, when life was simpler and we talked about everything. Now we don’t even talk. And, believe me, it’s not because that’s what I want. Maybe you don’t want that either. But you’re there and I’m here, and there are miles between us.

I always thought we would be the ones who didn’t let anything get in the way of our friendship. We knew each other. I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a friend like you, not before or even now.

The things is that I’m not quite sure what happened. I guess we just learned to survive without each other. We both got busy with life, and time passed before we realized it.

I feel like I owe you an apology because I never wanted it to be like this. I’m sorry. I truly am. And, maybe I needed to say that to make myself feel better, to stop blaming myself so much. Just know that I mean it.

I really do miss you. There are so many things I want to tell you and even more that I want to ask about, but every time I think about reaching out there is a voice in the back of my head saying no.

You’re living your life and I’m not a part of that anymore, not really anyways. We’ve drifted apart. I’m probably just a distant memory to you, and the sad thing is that I miss you even after all this time.

I just wanted you to know that you’re still my best friend.


   Your best friend

I think that’s why I liked her. She was so unpredictable and carefree. She could never tell a lie even if she wanted to. She was different and unique, she just pulled me in and never let go. She was many things, but she was never somebody else.
—  That girl.
The Midnight Star Quotes
  • “You think me cruel,” I say. “No,” Magiano replies. He hesitates for a moment. “Maybe a little.”
  • “He brought her gifts from the living world, rays of sunshine bundled in baskets, fresh rain in glass jars.”
  • “Everyone knows that to openly show any disrespect for Magiano means instant death at my hands.”
  • “I take a step back so that her blood doesn’t ruin the hem of my dress.”
  • “It’s Teren, both hands gripping the hilt of his sword tightly, standing over him like a strange guardian.”
  • “He could imagine that he was staring at a younger version of the Queen of the Sealands, before she turned her back.”
  • “I sleep poorly when you’re not around,” I finally mutter, irritated. “There are…voices that distract me when I’m alone.”
  • “Raffaele withdraws his hand. ‘Get away from me,’ Magiano snaps at him. I’ve never seen him so upset.”
  • “ ‘Was I not clear?’ I call out. The corners of the space turn dark, and a haunting wail whips through the air.”
  • “I wish it were me Violetta turns to for comfort.”
  • “ None of us are saints. We can all do better.”
  • “ 'Are you painting me into a saint?’ Magiano murmurs. 'Because I aligned with Greed solely to prevent that.’ “

Keep reading

Yaaaaay :D

I’M BACK in black

Well, that- that was a way longer time than I though- ugghhh so many issues to have Internet again—


I missed this so much ;w;

And– well, that’s it, I just wanted to announce that. I did some things too; changed the theme of the blog and added a FAQ page to the About and Rules page. And that’s it. I’m back.


Because I didn’t want this to be just a plain text post and because I feel bad for not having published anything (even though I know I couldn’t help it),- I’ll show you some dumb af Asche doodles I made while I was bored and without Internet-

So, click “Keep reading” if you wanna see ‘em! ‘cause they’re just too many .w. well, only like ten, but you know

Keep reading

I used to write,” she said,
“It was one of the few things I was ever good at, but these days I no longer know how to write, or perhaps I just don’t know how to put words together in clever, metaphorical ways anymore because there’s only so many oceans I can compare your blue eyes to and there’s only so many tornados I can compare your love to. All I know is that I miss you and I love you, an awful, awful lot.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write

Months ago, I said I was going to close my blog because I had so many things to deal with, things related to college… I couldn’t focus on my exams, works and stuff. Right now, I’m almost done with my finals and then we have this break. I really needed time for myself, to fix my personal life and my college issues.
So… About ayoshidae, I honestly considered coming back many times but I knew it wasn’t the right time yet. I’ve missed it and I’ve missed my friends, I’ve missed interacting with people here, I’ve missed supporting my favorite groups and having fun with people here. Plus, snsd is about to celebrate their 10th anniversary and I couldn’t miss it.
Finally, I’m reopening my blog. Sometimes we just need a break yk… but I’m glad I’m back! Thank you for the ones who supported me when I closed it and for the ones who are supporting me right now.
Maybe I won’t be as actived as I was before but… who knows, I’m willing to try again! The most important thing is that right now I can manage my life with tumblr and I’m ready to be back and be happy with my friends I’ve met here!
And also, thank you for the ones who still followed me and for 3k followers! I’m tagging some of my friends and my previous and adorable mutuals so they can know I’m back!
@choisullis @taesyeon @ohhsenshine @sonuyhshidae @svnnyjjang @nanssagajii @ye-rims @ninthwish @kwonyuri @minchims @maerinah @citrusomi @chanwoosdimple @parksoijn @raindyops @haengah @taeyeohn @sefuns @taeyeoness @yunascope @ireone @red-shidae @taeyeontime @taeyepn @gingerfany @candyeon @younas @ninepeas @taenine @quinnsana @kim-taeyeon @tiffaeny @irendescent @yoonsicyul @felicitae @queenhyo @kimtae-yeons @okimtae

Please don’t do this. Don’t sit there, asking me questions acting like you care. Don’t ask me how I’ve been or what I’ve been up to lately. Please don’t pretend to have any interest in what I have to say. I know that truth now, that you will never love me the way I love you. So, please don’t pretend to care, it will save me so many sleepless, heart-wrenching nights when you leave again.
—  m.r.s// please don’t pretend you love me again 11:43pm

anonymous asked:

@ that moving anon- sometimes YouTubers moving after spending so long in one place can actually affect their audience. Emotionally, of course. Think about it, how many years have Dan and Phil lived in that little apartment?! We know so much about it, the significance of certain furniture and corners and that crack in the kitchen tile. I'm not assuming they're moving now or anything, but I'm just saying that if there's a chance that they indeed do, I'll miss their current apartment a lot.

this is all true ! they’ve lived in their london apartment for so long and there are so many happy memories surrounding it that ofc it’ll feel bittersweet when they move out of it. i still get nostalgic over the manchester apartment sometimes ! a lot of people are emotionally attached and it’s understandable and also a very valid thing to be talking about right now

I had to doodle something from the latest chapter of Serendipitous Fate by @skaylanphear cos it gave me so many goddamn feels and if you aren’t reading that fic then you are missing the hell out like you don’t even know ok

’ hey , how are you? ’ he said moving to sit next to her against the locker. she looked over at him with big glossy eyes and sighed. she wanted to stand up and tell him that he destroyed every part of her when he left. she wanted to explain in the 5 days since he left she had barely slept 12 hours, she wanted to scream about how she hasn’t been able to keep food down. she wanted to tell him everyone kept asking where he was and that she burst into tears trying to explain that he didn’t want to be around her anymore. she wanted to say that her heart shatters everytime she sees him with her. she wanted to tell him that she wished he’d show up at her door with a cherry-less chocolate shake like he always did whenever it got so bad she hurt herself. she wanted to call him at 2pm when she couldn’t breathe because she was crying so much, and have his voice calm her down. she wanted to say that she’s kissed the bottom of so many bottles and nothing can take away the taste of him. she wanted him to know that he was the best damned thing that happened to her, and the worse thing at the same time. she wanted him to know that he killed her. but instead, with tears streaming down her face she simply said ‘I’ll be fine’
—  everything Ive been dying to tell you (a.j)

you know how i said that i now own only latex leggings and chainmail-looking tops?

well the tops work wonderfully for hitting the medieval fair :::) i’m going to buy some swords because no home is finished until there’s some swords

Chester (and the whole band) helped so many people to keep going, to keep fighting, to stay alive. And i’m so fucking sad and angry at whole universe that he couldn’t get the same in return.

It’s about time we acknowledged the elephant in the room and stopped being so ignorant to people around us who are struggling every day. The world should finally realize that mental illness is a thing, a medical condition, not just some phase you get from by snapping your fingers, it’s not screaming for attention.
Fuck those people who say Chester took the easy way out, who say he was beyond selfish, leaving behind a wife and 6 children. Suicide is not the cowardly way out, you can’t possibly feel what Chester felt because only he could. Clearly there was something that kept dragging him down until he just couldn’t take it. And i’m trying to understand, i really am. I get that he had reasons to do this, his fucked up childhood would be good enough for many people…but he kept fighting it for such a long time…until he just couldn’t.

Money and fame won’t bring you happiness. It’s sad that, for him, family and friends couldn’t bring it either (at least not all the time because i’d like to believe he had happy moments in his life)

Even after all of this, i could never resent him because, man, he was here with me for more than half of my life and i swear that yesterday a part of me died a little but as he sang - let’s leave out all the rest. Let’s focus on everything good he brought to this world. For that i’ll be forever grateful and he deserves all the thank yous he can get.
Chester and all of Chester’s beloved are in my thoughts.

Hope you’re in better place now, Chester. We’ll always love you and miss you 💚💔

PS: It’s alright and you’re forgiven tonight

10 Things I Know to be True

I will never stop making wishes at 11:11.
Call it childhood innocence or
call it naivety,
but above all else call it hope.

The sun won’t die for another 5 billion years.
Until then, it will rise everyday like a balloon, carrying millions of souls inside
and making love to the horizon as dusk falls.

A year ago, I was ready to sacrifice everything for perfection.
Too much, people told me, your sanity is afraid,
but maybe I became too much because that was the only way I could ever be enough.
I wanted to be someone even if it meant losing myself.
I still do, sometimes.

It’s a lie that the universe is out to get you. The universe does not discriminate.
Bad things happen for seemingly no reason at all,
but you are not the only one who has experienced this event, felt this pain.
We give things labels because we are afraid of the unknown,
so know that somewhere, sometime,
someone out there understands what this feeling is.
You may not be able to box your emotions, but you can certainly dissect them.

When I was little, I used to pretend that I wasn’t real.
I used to sit in the back of my car—both my parents in the front seats—
watch rain drops run across glass windows
and act like whatever I did wouldn’t really affect the world,
tell myself I was only here to observe.

There will come a time when your words can’t save you.
When you will have to rely on the wisdom and comfort of others to get from point A to point B.
Humanity was not designed to live in isolation, so embrace the support of others.

My first tattoo will run vertically down the side of my right hand.
It will spell out the word “brave” in capital letters,
written in script and scrawl too sharp and just a little bit broken.

The universe tends toward entropy.
Our bodies and minds are energy: The world cannot contain us.
Why would I waste time trying to bring order to disorder?
Why would I tell chaos she is anything less than beautiful?

Airports are the best place to find stories,
more so than hospitals or libraries.
Nowhere else will you encounter so many characters, so many plotlines,
so many worlds that can’t help but seem fictional to you.
Nowhere else will you find an equal number of hellos and goodbyes
kisses laced with both joy and sadness.

Our time here begins incomplete.
It is only when we discover all of the things missing in our lives that we become whole.

I already know I’m gonna miss drawing in NYC… I packed the unfinished Chilton drawing, just in case, but I don’t think I’ll come to work on it.
I am already so excited to see Raúl again. I guess this time will be not as hard as last time, but I’m still nervous. I guess that’s what happens when you suddenly see your idol, someone you only know from photos, screen and interviews. It’s weird. And I have to say: “Fangirling” becomes something COMPLETELY different after you really talked to the person you admire. Suddenly it’s a “real” person, not just this fragment you put together in your fantasy. Idk if that makes any sense lol. But for me, it felt strange to visit tumblr right after talking to him and some things still weird me out till this very day.
Wish me luck. I hope he’ll like the second book of drawings. Can’t believe I’ve made so many since February lol.

I’m gonna miss you, guys. I try to be on here in the evenings. Just send me messages as usual, sooner or later I’ll always read them and try to answer. I will keep you posted about the concert on Monday and Raúl.

A million kisses for you! ❤️😘

I got curious and started looking through how many sources I’ve gathered and have been using for my Richard Kidder Meade biography so far … and there’s over 40 of them. I didn’t even realize.

Come spring, we bring our brushes to bear,
roll up our sleeves and prepare to clean.
We pick our way through the cave-ins of junk
and all the forgotten tunnels lined
with dust and lost pens and photo frames,
spare change and missing rings and memories,
so many, many memories sunk through
sifting layers of the past. The deeper
we dig, the softer the soil uncovered.
Eventually, we can only sit and stare
at one another, surrounded by all
the things that pulled up together - and smile.
—  spring cleaning