there are millions of these floating around but i wanted to do it too

All It Takes (three)

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Be happy Bucky is here to handle everything.

Word Count: 4116 | Rating: R

Warnings: SMUT. oral (f receiving), face riding, dirty talking, two nsfw gifs, UNPROTECTED SEX (wrap your wang, before you bang!)

A/N: I am just going to leave this for y’all thirsty hoes. But I’m baffled by the feedback I got on the first tow part, so just wanna say THANK YOU!

also sorry for any typos

Masterlist here

All It Takes Part One Part Two 

(*gifs are not mine!)

Keep reading

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

psychic: reads my mind
me: hi, you’re on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it. actually, most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago… actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why it’s been everywhere. it’s been so “everywhere,” you don’t need a “where.” you don’t even need a “when.” that’s how “every” it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start.
and that’s exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing! in a place! don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet! it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a “proton” and a “neutron.” and there’s something else flying around that wants to join in, but can’t cause it’s too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now… a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together…
ten million years later
and it’s getting closer together…
500 million years later
and it’s getting closer togeth—
star is born
it’s a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
space dust!
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of… made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside of them and now there’s hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update… it’s raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert.
that’s land!
there'slifeintheocean
what?
something’s alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it’s a sponge… it’s a plant… it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it’s the Cambrian explosion: “wow, that’s animals and stuff”
but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
NO
why?
the sun is a deadly laser
oh okay.
not anymore, there’s a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land!
“nope, can’t walk yet.”
“and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.”
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?
“maybe,” said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
“i was already doing that”
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything’s huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
Permian extinction
oh, fuck, now everything’s dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it’s about to become
75 million years later
the dinosaurs.
here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
meteor strikes
and the dinosaurs are gone
it’s mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they’re gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
“ouch”
and set things on fire.
“yeouch”
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
“gneurshk”
which can mean different things.
that’s a human person!
and now they’re everywhere. almost.
ice age!
what? you can walk over here? cool.
not anymore
well i guess we’re stuck here now.
let’s review: there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there’s more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power,
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also,
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5

norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it’s the… people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks!
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization: they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china.
new arrivals from india… maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about… or their cousins or something…
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff…
you could make a religion out of this.
there’s the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he’s got like a ten-step program.
here’s some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it’s the babyloni— media—
it’s the Persian Empire: “wow, that’s big”
enlightenment
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
enlightenment
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea. he was… great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it’s chandragupta. he says “get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye”
time to conquer all of india
er
most of india
but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve gotspices!
who would like to buy the spices? “me!” said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload.bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
“hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
conquers vietnam
or you can get there on water
“sick! new trade routes!” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together.
china is whole again…
…then it broke again
still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels.
“hell yeah! now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
“hi, i’m a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?”
“no”
“actually, okay sure,” said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.
it’s the golden age of india
there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore, so let’s give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here’s a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together.
how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.
intermission
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors.
here’s all the wisdom. in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
“let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise! you’re the new roman emporer!” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just “norse” if you don’t have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
prankd
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as “vikings.”
there’s the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it’s actually germany, but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“time to conquer england,” said william.
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s the seljuk turks!
“aah!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore. “we need help!” they need help! so they call the pope.
“hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.”
“yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.”
crusade!
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn’t fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who’s here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means “lake.” there’s an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china’s back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it’s the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
ma-ja-pa-hit?
oh, italy’s real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth.
here’s a printer. let’s make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
“what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless.
“well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india”
“wait!” said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. “if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.”
“nah, don’t worry, we already got this,” said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?”
“no”
“please?”
“no”
“please?”
“wtf”
“no”
“please?”
“…okay”
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers… more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let’s make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
“that’s bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
“you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman wearing an onion hat. “what if the ottoman empire was… really big?” which it is now.
“what if russia was big?” said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.”
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there’s beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar… guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it’s so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did! it’s britain.
guess who’s broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. “fuck you!” says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
“let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don’t.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?”
wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back!luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
“hey, china!” said britain. “buy stuff from us!” “nah, dude, we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now:“that’s just where he lives.”
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it’s bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
“i know! let’s rape africa!” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia…
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand…
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more:
hawaii!
cuba!
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
“let’s blame the maine on spain.”
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we’re in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go…
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union…
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind.
“let’s cut the cake!” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
phone rings
hello? yes, it’s the 1920’s calling. let’s get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he’s mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that’s world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
FIGHT!!
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
FINISH HIM!
let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
“hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m going to starve myself in public.”
britain leaves
“wow, that worked?”
bonus! now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me!” they both said at the same time. let’s divide up the lands so we’re both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china…?
there’s the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
“i’ll race you to space.”
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let’s make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let’s check the world population!
woah. okay.
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don’t feel like it.
let’s check the mail… surprise! it’s on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to.
surprise!… flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
“let’s save the planet!” said everybody, not knowing how.
“let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
i hope i mentioned everything
psychic: what the fuck

Paper Hearts (Part 13)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Genre: Angst/fluff

♡ Pairing: Reader x Jungkook // Reader x Jimin

♡ Length: 5.1k

♡ Summary: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.

1 ♡ 2  ♡ 3  4   5   6   7   8   9  ♡ 10  ♡ 11  ♡ 12  ♡ 13  ♡ 14

Keep reading

Justice League, Meet The Avengers

Batsy has created a chatroom.

Batsy has added Alfredo Pasta.

Batsy: Alfred.

Alfredo Pasta: Yes, Master Bruce?

Batsy: Was it Barry or Oliver this time?

Alfredo Pasta: It was the young speedster, Master Bruce.

Batsy has added Bear.

Batsy: Stop. Changing. Our. Names.

Bear: Alfredo Pasta, you snitched on me?

Alfredo Pasta: No regrets, son.

Alfredo Pasta: Was there something you needed, Master Bruce?

Batsy: I want to know the current status of the rest of the league.

Alfredo Pasta: Inviting them over for dinner? I shall prepare the table.

Batsy: No - a meeting that involves food, Alfred!

Bear: Ooooh are we having Lobster Thermidor? Arthur won’t like that.

Bear: I’ll be back in a… Flash. Gotta take care of my good pal Captain Cold.

Bear has left the chat.

Alfredo Pasta: It seems all members of the JLA are currently preoccupied.

Batsy: Even Clark? What could Arthur be doing? And Diana?

Alfredo Pasta: Saving the world, of course.

Alfredo Pasta: Except for Arthur. He’s at an aquarium.

Batsy: Are there any criminals out?

Alfredo Pasta: I’m afraid not, Master Bruce. Master Dick has done an exceptional job of keeping them at bay.

Batsy:

Batsy: What’s the Joker up to?

Alfredo Pasta: He’s in hiding after your last debacle with him.

Keep reading

All Too Well (M) | Pt. 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Summary: You and Yoongi shared a loving relationship with one another until you both agreed to end things and pursue your separate careers. But two years later, Yoongi is a member of the ever growing Bangtan Boys, and you are a new makeup artist for their upcoming tour.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut; Idol & Makeup Artist AU
Word Count: 7,692
Author’s Note: Now, I don’t want to give away too much of this chapter right off the bat, but I’m giving this chapter an ‘M’ rating for a reason.

.

A lot of things have changed in the past 2 years—you are the last person who would ever try to deny that.

For instance, you don’t know if Yoongi still likes caramel macchiato with his two shots of espresso, or if he still reaches out to cling for the nearest source of warmth while remaining on the brink of unconsciousness, or even if music is still the most important thing in his life. You don’t know if he can still record the lyrics floating around in his mind as easily as gathering strings of cotton candy, or if he hides his emotions underneath miles and miles of apathy. There’s a lot of things you no longer know about Yoongi. You’ve changed a lot in 2 years and it would be foolish and naive to assume that Yoongi had not.

But there’s one thing you know has not changed over the course of that time, and that was how naturally you could fold yourself into Yoongi’s touch, how his lips could still light all the nerves underneath your skin like fire, sparking you into life, and how readily you could feel yourself responding to him.

When Yoongi dives back into for another kiss, one that contains just as much passion, anger, remorse, and desperation as the first one, you can’t deny on returning the gesture with equal frenzy. He still does good in making your mind spin like a top, your sense of gravity severely distorted as you feel like you might topple over if you don’t grip onto the closest thing that just so happens to be the fabric of Yoongi’s t-shirt. The material is soft in between your fingers, clenching it to pull him closer and he doesn’t protest. The kiss is hard, teeth and tongue and shallow breathing as Yoongi grips the edges of the makeup counter behind you as a means to cage you in and keep himself grounded.

Keep reading

Egg Substitutes and Smiling Prostitutes

                                              SUGAR PT.3

Bucky Barnes X Reader

A/N: You guys are so sweet omg

Words: 985

Prompt: Struggling with the pressures of running a bakery in New York City, [Y/N] [Y/L/N] is your average, flour-covered baker. Bucky Barnes is your no nonsense, sugar-hating guy. What happens when the two get closer than Fate intends for them to?

Warnings: none i think

A huge shoutout to @redgillan for being an actual angel and beta-ing this for me.

Catch up: Part 1 | Part 2

Sugar Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keep reading

We Are Young: Chapter 8

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

——————–

“Stop.” Aelin’s hand shot out, landing on Lysandra bobbing knee. “It’s going to be fine. It’s just an ultrasound.”

Lysandra let loose a shaky breath, her knee bouncing again the moment Aelin removed her hand.

“I know,” She said, glancing nervously around the room. “But, this feels more real now, you know? Before, the only proof I had was some stick I peed on. Once a professional confirms it…”

“Everything is going to be fine.” Aelin took Lysandra’s hand, giving it a light squeeze as a smile pulled on her lips. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Lysandra could only offer Aelin a small smile in return. She hated to admit it, but she was slowly letting her nerves get the best of her. She liked to think of herself as a pretty strong person, but sitting in this waiting room, she couldn’t help the fear and jitteriness that overcame her.

It didn’t take long for a nurse to walk out and call her name. With Aelin holding her hand, the two followed the nurse down the hall and into a room.

Honestly, Lysandra was so lost in her nervousness at that point, everything became a blur. And before she knew it, she was lying on the examination table, Aelin standing next to her. She tried to calm her racing heart as the doctor squirted the cold jelly on her stomach, moving the ultrasound to get a clear picture of the baby.

“Here we go,” the doctor smiled, using a finger to point out the baby on the screen. There wasn’t really much to see at this point, but what she could see caused Lysandra’s heart to skip a beat.

That was her baby.

Keep reading

littyr-deactivated20170623  asked:

what do you think drives lady macbeth's cruelty and do you sympathise with her at all?

This post and this post might be of interest. But I think ‘cruelty’ is the wrong word. Cruelty implies violence for the sake of violence and enjoyment of violence. (See here.) Lady M doesn’t revel in the violence. She doesn’t delight in it the way some of the characters in, say, Titus Andronicus do, or even Margaret in Henry VI does after the murder of Rutland/during the murder of York. For Lady M violence is always a means to an end. “Infirm of purpose” is what she calls her husband when he starts to get faint-hearted. He’s too full of the milk of human kindness “to catch the nearest way.” For her, it’s all about the outcome. The ends justify the means. Like I said in one of those posts, I think her driving force is ambition. She wants more than what she has. 

Interestingly, she never expresses any personal desire to be queen. She does, however, use the singular possessive pronoun ‘my’ when she says “The raven himself is hoarse / That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan / Under my battlements.” She claims the crime as her own, and even though the idea of murder occurs to her and her husband independently, she is the criminal mastermind. She says,you shall put / This night’s great business into my dispatch; / Which shall to all our nights and days to come / Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.” And at the end of the scene: “Leave all the rest to me.” This regicide is her baby–and I use that word very deliberately. There are a million possible explanations for why Lady Macbeth is so desperate to seize this power for her husband. My guess is it has something to do with that baby she mentions in 1.7 which doesn’t appear in the play. A woman’s function at this point in history was basically to be a baby-making machine and ensure the survival of her husband’s line. She hasn’t been able to do that (for whatever reason) and her husband, at least, is already middle-aged, so that procreation window is rapidly closing, if it’s not closed already. By early modern standards, that’s a huge dynastic failure. My guess is that her power-grabbing is about agency and compensation. Maybe she can’t continue Macbeth’s line, but she can make him king. And she does

But here’s the other part of it which I think is really important and often gets overlooked, and it goes back to the fact that Lady M never expresses a personal desire to be queen. She wants her husband to be king, and she thinks he is fully deserving of that office. “Thou wouldst be great;” she says, “Art not without ambition, but without / The illness should attend it.” AND THIS IS SO KEY. Because Lady M is nothing if not full of ambition. What she’s saying here is “You don’t have enough darkness in your soul to do this, so I’m going to do it for you.” Now. Is that somewhat fucked up? Absolutely. However, that is an enormous sacrifice to make. I’m not going to get into this in depth, but there’s a lot of natural law theory floating around in this play. What’s important to know is this: In the protestant ethos of this play, if you commit regicide, you are 100% going to be damned for eternity. There’s no doubt about that. So, in an insane backwards way, this is actually an incredibly loving, selfless thing to do on Lady M’s part. She is willing to sacrifice her own salvation to make her husband king. Let that sink in. That is so much more hardcore than just saying, “I’d take a bullet for you, babe.” She is willing to burn for all time to put him on the throne, and not only is she willing, but it’s her idea, not just something she does with her back against the wall. That is a crazy kind of love. And that’s one of my favorite things about this play. This is not a unanimous opinion by any means, but I firmly believe that even though the Macbeths are terrible tyrannical people, they are desperately, devotedly in love with one another. Their language is incredibly intimate. In his first letter Macbeth addresses his wife as “My dearest partner of greatness,” and throughout the play they are constantly struggling to help and heal one another. Theirs is a relationship built on love and equality, whatever else they do (and however their relationship is also sometimes toxic and fractures through the play). Look at Macbeth’s conversation with the doctor in 5.3 when his wife’s health begins to fail: “ If thou couldst, doctor, cast / The water of my land, find her disease, / And purge it to a sound and pristine health, / I would applaud thee to the very echo, / That should applaud again.” That. Is. Love.

So. Why does Lady Macbeth do the terrible things she does? There’s no certain answer. Ambition has a lot to do with it. But I think that ambition is rooted in guilt about what she hasn’t been able to provide her husband with, and a passionate yearning to make up for that, somehow. Leo’s character says in Inception that positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time, and I think that’s true here. Lady M doesn’t orchestrate Duncan’s murder because she’s inherently cruel. She does it for love.

Crush (Jason Todd x Reader)

Summary: Bruce is a dick and Jason storms away. You are the only one following him.

Warnings: eh, light smut? You make out, basically it’s nothing, slight angst

Note: (Y/A) = your alias

»»»»
“We have to–”

“No!”

Jason tried to help. He just wanted to help, but Bruce pretended he had just killed someone, what he didn’t, like Jason’s judgment was not good enough to be considered.

“He will escape!”

“You are not part of the team anymore, Red Hood. Stand down!”

This felt like a punch right in the gut. Jason stood there, looking at Bruce who turned to Dick, what made Jason’s throat tighten even more. The world around him blurred and his heart ached with pain and rage.

You watched him. Suddenly the bat on your chest burned and you wanted to rip it off, throw it to the ground and quit.
You stepped forward, searching for words that were pouring from your brain and disappear. You couldn’t understand how Bruce didn’t notice how much it hurt Jason, the uncontrollable anger that rose and was about to spill out of him.

Jason’s jaw tensed. Fine, he thought and just ran. He ran and jumped from roof to roof, not checking if it was safe. No one cared about him anyway, right? He was alone in this city, in this world.
Alone in death. Alone in life.
Would they even notice if he’d die, again.
Probably not.

“No one wants to go after him?!” You shouted at everyone, but mostly Bruce. He gave you a quick levelled look and it pushed you over the edge. “You’re an extra asshole today, Bruce. Screw you.” And with that you followed Jason.

You thought Jason was funny, you didn’t know him well, though and yes, you had developed this little crush on him, but this now was something else.
This was anger and fear.
Anger about Bruce’s behavior and fear that one day he might treated you just like Jason today.
And you never wanted to witness that.

Jason was a few feet ahead of you now. “Jason, stop!” You yelled, but he ignored you, pushing even harder. You look ahead of him and a wave of panic broke free. “STOP!” You knew he wouldn’t make that jump and you were sure he knew that too what made it even sadder.

You acted swiftly, reaching for your grappling gun.
You shot and made it pull you what gave you speed.
Jason jumped, but you just made it in time to grab his arm, swinging the two of you in a half circles and crashing into the sixth floor of some office building.

You laid beside him in the sharp pieces of shattered glass. Your cheek was cut open, blood dripping down to your jaw.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” He growled. Jason was holding his upper arm, trying to rub the dull pain from landing away.

You scoffed. “With me? You were jumping… jump– jumping into death!” You wanted to sugar coat it, but were at a loss of words once more. He didn’t, right? He wouldn’t just want to die again?

“And?” Jason laid his head down, mask facing the ceiling. “My decision.”

“Thought since you knew how it is to die you tried to avoid doing it again.” You mumbled indignant. It just frustrated you.

“I don’t have to talk to you,” he said angrily and got up.

“Thank you, (Y/N). Thank you for being the only one coming after me.” You mimicked his voice before talking in your own tone. “No biggie, Jason. Bruce was a real dick. I really like you and if you ever need company just give me a ring. You are not alone, dude.”

He was stopping right at the edge of the window and his head turned slightly.
You wondered if he was crying under the helmet.

“You’re a good liar.”

“You are bad at spotting lies then, because non of this was a lie.”

He stomped past you. His lethal body now towering over you, making your heart race. You wanted to see his eyes so bad in this moment.

“You hate me just as much as everyone else does, don’t pretend.” He hissed.

You laughed inauthentic, almost sarcastically. “That’s what you think?” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I didn’t know you were so desperate for approval.”

Now he was the one laughing inauthentic, almost sarcastically.
You were standing there, daring at each other as if at any second you would kill one another.

You were the first to move, taking a deep breath.
Jason watched your face soften and body relax almost as if he had defeated you and it didn’t make sense to him.

“I don’t hate you, Jason. I hate that I like you.” You paused. “Like in like like. I’m not good with feelings, you know.” You shrugged.

He tore his helmet off his face. His brows were pulled into a tight frown. His eyes made your insides tingle, but they were so full of question. “What?”

“Yeah.” You raised your hands innocently. “C'mon, don’t tell me your self-esteem is so damaged you don’t believe someone has a crush on you.”

He didn’t even blink.

You got more serious now. “I mean, that’s not why I ran after you. Bru–”

His lips shut you up. Soft, warm lips moved against yours, sweet and tenderly asking for permission. One of his hands slipped from your shoulder to your neck and the other one had took a hold of your chin, tugging it up slightly.
You straightened up and stepped towards him. You pulled him closer by his leather jacket before your hand dipped into his dark hair and wrapped around the hot skin of his neck.
The ground underneath your feet shook so blissfully, making both your knees weak.

Each others lips were the best things you two have ever tasted, sweeter than honey and you wanted more; you couldn’t get enough.
Jason’s lips were making your head spin and yours made him forget about all the shit floating in his head for once.
It was an instant addiction. You craved more from one another.

His hands travelled down your sides, slowly, leaving your skin warm and charged with electricity that made you shiver.
All this stupid body amour in the way.
You jump and wrapped your legs around him. Jason carried you to one of the desk that were standing around. The shattered glass creaked underneath his boots.

You trailed kisses along his jawline. Tiny gasps sneaked over his lips as you bit the skin on his neck just so lightly.
It sounded more melodic than music to you.
Jason tugged on your hair. You breathed in sharply and found his eyes which gleamed with passion and lust, seeming three shades darker.

He laid his forehead to yours while his hands held your thighs, rubbing tiny patterns. “Not here.” He whispered, breathing heavily. “We deserve better.” He looked around and a small grin tugged on his lips.

You nodded and he leaned back in, kissing you for some more moment before grabbing his helmet and putting it on. It was so hard to pull away, to not rip each others amour off right there.

You two stood at the edge now, trying to figure out where you were.
He was holding your hand almost as if he was scared you’d vanish or be ripped away from him if he didn’t.

“I think my apartment is close,” he said. “But this hotel is closer. I mean, would be quite funny to just walk in as (Y/A) and Red Hood.” He shrugged. “I already see the article in Gotham Gossip.” His eyes scrutinized your face and he smiled seeing how flushed you were.
He didn’t feel alone.

“That be a real punch in the face for them. They always try to make me and Dick work.” You picked your grappling gun up, handing it to him.

“I don’t ship that.” He pulled you close and aimed at the nearest roof. You laughed while being dragged through the air. He let go of you as your feet touched the roof and you ran jumping to another one as a voice echoed in your ears.

“Red Hood, (Y/A), you copy?”

Jason stopped and you crashed into him. He kept his hands around you. You shook your head, looking up at the red helmet.

“We can’t just– I didn’t know you were so bitter, (Y/N).” The smirk on his lips was audible.

“I’m not bitter, I just have a million other things on my mind now and every single one is you.”

“I– Same, but we have to.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and smile warmly. “You’re too pure, Jason.”

“We–” He was searching for the right words, how to phrase what he wanted to say best. “We have time, right?”

You get on your tiptoes and kiss the helmet where his mouth was supposed to be. This wasn’t just lust. There was so much more beneath the lust and longing. “Right,” you said, smiling foolishly.

“We copy, Batman. Sup?”

_____
While writing this, this scenario of someone trying to hug Jason and his chest taser is still on, popped up in my mind and made me laugh real hard.
Also, I guess I’ll do a part two. » part two is up

I’ll Wait (1/2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Words: 3,709

Summary (request): Bucky declares his love for Y/N on a day he shouldn’t. 

Warning: Angst, but some adorableness as well. 

A/N: So this was also a request by a darling who wishes to stay anonymous, she said I could write whatever I wanted and dedicate it to her, so here goes, darling. Hope you enjoy! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, much love to you all! 

Part 2


“I’m in love with you,” Bucky said as confidently as he could. His steel blue eyes were boring into yours as his heart beat at a frantic pace.

You didn’t answer him, only stared at him with a blank expression. It was only because he knew you better than you know yourself, he could see your lower lip slightly trembling.

“I know I have no right to say this to you,” he quickly added, taking a small step towards you. You didn’t move, only looked at him with stern eyes and lips pressed into a thin line.

“Especially not now,” the sadness in his words lingered hard in the room as he looked at you from head to toe. His eyes met yours again, and he knew his eyes displayed the heart-wrenching sadness he was feeling in his chest.

“But I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t tell you,” he took another small step towards you and when you didn’t move, only looked at him with an unreadable expression, he slowly lifted his left hand to cup your cheek. The corners of his lips lifted in a small smile when you didn’t flinch or move. His hand was centimeters from your face when you abruptly stepped back, eyes never leaving his.

Keep reading

World’s Best Dad (Part 3)

Originally posted by sensitivehandsomeactionman

Summary: Reader and Dean spend another evening together and think they’ve found a good thing with each other…

World’s Best Dad Masterlist

Pairing: single parent!Dean x kindergarten teacher!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language

A/N: All this sweet domestic fluff is going to be the death of me…


Keep reading

“His Wedding” (Part 9)

Summery:  Modern-Day(AU) Bucky and you are former exes. He moved on but you couldn’t. Since you both are still friends, he asks you for a favor. You reluctantly agree, not thinking of the future consequences you’ll have to face. You just hope everything will go fine with your two best friends, Steve and Natasha by your side.

Word Count: 3857

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance/Drama

Warnings: heart wrenching angst, language.

Characters (by appearance): Bucky, Reader, Lily Parker, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff.

A/N: This part made me too emotional and I cried several times and I had to take breaks from writing it because damn, it was too much. So far, the best chapter I’ve contributed to this series, and I really hope you guys like it!

Also I love Tom and Jerry.

Please leave me some comments to read when I wake up in the morning, so that they make my day! lol, love me, I’m needy.

Sorry for any typos :P

“His Wedding” Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Previously on “His Wedding” :

“Yes. I’ll be your maid of honor, Lily.”

What do you call a mistake that’s been repeat twice? It’s called a habit. And my habit is to say yes no matter which situation it puts me in.

Keep reading

He loves to talk, but not all the time. He tells me that talking doesn’t mean anything unless it’s worth ruining perfect silence. Most people, he says, waste their breath on everything that means nothing. But he likes when I talk. About the people in the coffee shop, and old cities I wish I’d been to, and which constellations I like best. About anything, really. We talk until the sun rises, and then we sleep all day. And we sing loudly when our favorite songs come on the radio, and we let our hands drift out the window like soaring birds, and we live. God, we live. Like addicts, and nomads, and kids with wicked minds and screaming hearts. Half the time we don’t know what day it is, but we don’t care. Because his bed feels the same on Monday and Thursday and Saturday, too. And we eat when our stomachs grow too loud, and we press close when we can’t pay the electricity bill, and we learn that sometimes what is perfect and what is enough live oceans away from each other.
     But when enough becomes too little and we don’t even have our two pennies to rub together, he performs on the street with an upturned top hat at his feet. Old, bluesy songs about wild girls and townie boys. And even though his voice is only ok, with cracks in all the important parts, people see his long hair and his big smile, and they stop to watch with enormous eyes. Look, they point: a boy who never learned how to worry playing at maturity, his face bent over a guitar, long fingers threading the strings. They stand on the streets, a cigarette break from their white collar routine, and see in him some other life. Some different path. They see themselves, a little happier, a little louder, a little more carefree. The kind ones wish him well as dollar bills float from their hands. Fives and tens and twenties from those who would do everything differently if they had another shot. One man with a fading ring tan above his left knuckle gives him a crisp hundred dollar bill, his face lost in thoughts of what might have been. Transparent. He’s like that with people: prying them open without even trying. He sees through them, and you, and even me. Especially me. 
      We lay in bed that night surrounded by paper that will only pay a fraction of our bills, but we laugh like we’ve won the goddamn lottery. Laugh so hard we can barely breath. I laugh until I cry, and he holds me in his hands and tells me that when he has the money, he’ll buy me a ring and make this whole shindig official. My voice raw with tears, I tell him he better.
     And he has the warmest hands with callouses on all the fingertips, which I don’t think anyone else knows. Not like I know. Not like they feel them against their palm and cheek and thigh in the middle of the night. I like that I hold a million tiny fragments of him that no one else has even touched. Like he calls his sister twice a week to make sure she’s not using again, and he only watches scary movies because they make my blood flow faster, and he’s an all consuming, thousand-watt, stars in his eyes kind of person. The kind people want to be around without ever knowing why. The kind who tells you he loves you and really means it.
     He only says it sometimes. When it’s just us two and the perfect silence is worth being broken. And I trace road maps across the skin of his back, and I wonder. I wonder what I did to deserve all this. The affection, and the easy smiles, and the list of kid names we like tucked away in his desk drawer. Shuffled between coins and nicotine gum. And then his breath is heavy in my hair. I never fall asleep before him because I don’t know how to stop thinking. I wonder and I wonder and I wonder how I ever thought I’d be better off on my own. And he pulls me closer. Whispers my name like a promise. All the world stands still for just this moment. And I wonder how a person- one single, broken person- can come along and make so much sense.
—  I hope you find this kind of love, and I hope you never let it go.
4

Junior AKA Agent Three x The Avengers


‘The airship was taken down this morning by an anonymous hero, despite the act it has caused several million dollars of damage and cause four people serious harm.’ The news blared as Wanda made herself breakfast.

“What’s that?” Steve asked with a frown.

“Someone has destroyed part of the city, near the Shield facilities.” She muttered, floating her spoon to her mouth as she made a mug of coffee.

Keep reading

Fast Firsts and Sloppy Seconds  (a Manorian/Rowaelin AU)

NOTE: This is a piece very near and dear to my heart!! Welcome to my very first TOG fic, and second fic overall! This is kind of a celebration of hitting 100 followers, and kind of a celebration of ACOWAR, but first and foremost, this is a gift for my girl @highlady-casandra. You’re pretty cool, I guess and I love you so so much but you already knew that <3 but also I really hope you’re sleeping right now or we’ll have to fight  Second, it goes to to my fellow Revolutionaries,  @miladyaelin  @snaps7@jxmessjrjuspottcr @throneofstars @fictionalcharactersaremyreality, y’all are the true heroes ;) Third, for @propshophannah, my favorite SJM blog and one of my favorite writers for this fandom, who is a hero in her own right for a million reasons. Thanks for existing. Last but not least, this one’s this is for all of you guys reading it!! I hope you enjoy, and I hope I didn’t butcher them too bad! ( @meabhd You’re a queen and amazing artist and I hope I didn’t butcher your accent/country too much :/ ) Without further ado, here we go!


Dorian and Aelin burst into the small lively Irish pub. Well, “burst” was kind of a strong word, considering how bogged down they were by their huge backpacks. The two friends had decided to travel across Europe after their college graduation. It was supposed to be a group of them, but they’d lost Lys and Aedion back in Italy. Chaol was supposed to meet them in Dublin – but that was if they ever made it there. The huge storm had come out of nowhere, and their flight had been redirected. Aelin had insisted they try to catch a ferry to continue on to Dublin – but when the huge waves had almost flipped over the boat, she conceded, and they were dropped off on the beach in some other part of Ireland. Trudging up the long hill, they finally came to the bustling pub – the only awake part of the small sea town. Gasping for breath and dripping wet, they glanced around for an empty table in the crowded bar, and spotted a couple getting up in the corner. They quickly grabbed the table before anyone else had a chance, pulling the massive weights off of their backs and flopping into the hard wooden chairs.

They could feel the heat of the packed pub seeping into their bodies. Groups of people danced around, producing more and more warmth as they jumped and whirled to the tune of the lively reel. The band in the corner looked like they’d been playing for a while, empty beer bottles scattered around their feet as they played.

They took a few minutes to settle down – wringing the water out of their soaked shirts. Aelin was running a hand through her long blonde hair, trying to untangle the wet tresses, when Dorian shook his head at her like a dog, spraying water everywhere. It was at this moment that the waitress walked over, a hand on her hip and a smirk on her face as she watched Aelin smack him repeatedly.

She stopped quickly when she noticed the gorgeous girl. A tray was balanced against her hip, and she had a long, messy white braid over one shoulder, along with a wicked grin on her bright red lips. “Name’s Manon,” she drawled, her Irish accent washing over them. “What can I get you lot?”

Dorian cleared his throat, quickly running a hand through his hair in an effort to look presentable. He began to stumble over his words as his eyes ran over her lithe, muscular body. “I – uh – we – do you have any, um, menus?”

She snorted, raising an eyebrow at the boy. No – man. He was in his early twenties at least. Her eyes quickly flashed to his flexing muscles as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. He was broad, tall, and all around gorgeous. His bright blue eyes avoided hers as she watched him squirm under her golden gaze. “Aye, o’ course lad, would you like some gold rimmed plates, too? What d’you think this is? A palace, princeling?” She rolled her eyes, scowling at the gorgeous man. Why was it always the pretty ones that were like this?

“I’ll take a Guiness –”Aelin’s cool voice cut in, as Dorian struggled to regain his composure. “And some food. We’re both starving.”

“Aye, and soaked through the bone,” Manon mumbled, glancing at their wet clothes. She let out a deep sigh as she crossed her impossibly long legs. “I’ll see what the boys can dig up – kitchen’s supposed to close any minute now.”

The full weight of her golden gaze turned back to Dorian, a smirk on her face as she watched him startle under the attention. “Anything else I can get you, princeling?”

He cleared his throat and narrowed his stormy blue eyes as he forced a smirk on his face. “A double shot of whiskey, please.” He winked at her then, feeling the bravery re-enter his voice. “Need something to help warm me up.”

“Aye,” she smirked, “and some of that Irish courage will do you good, as well.”

With that, she turned, making her way back to the bar. He couldn’t help but stare at her enticing hips as they moved from side to side. Just like she’d wanted him to.

He was cute, this American boy. Kind of ridiculous, but cute.

Soon enough she was back with their drinks, shot Dorian some heated looks, and was off again. He wasn’t usually a one night stand kind of guy, in most situations. But for her? For her he’d make an exception. Miles of long legs were barely covered by a pair of ripped jean shorts. She had on a loose red t-shirt, further accenting her bright red lips. Yet, even in the simple outfit, she looked like a queen. His queen.

Aelin rolled her eyes watching Dorian eye-fuck the white-haired beauty. Aelin thought she was kind of a bitch, but Dorian never listened to her opinions on his conquests. He was usually more of a relationship guy, but she could tell that this time he just didn’t care. And she wasn’t drunk enough to put up with his shenanigans.

With a heavy sigh, she stood up from her seat to get another drink. Dorian barely paid her any attention as his eyes followed the waitress, watching her float from table to table, laughing heartily as she flirted with everyone, lighting up the room with her smile.


Aelin stepped up to the bar, the barkeep nowhere to be found. She eyed the empty seat in the corner and decided to take it right as she noticed someone else about to make a move. It’s not like Dorian was much better company. She ran a hand through her long blonde hair, still wet from the rain. She’d opted to keep her soaked sweatshirt on, wearing nothing but a small tank top underneath. But between the grossly wet fabric against her skin and the heat of the pub, she was leaning closer and closer to taking the damn thing off. Finally, she gave in, ripping off the soaking wet hoodie. And of course, this was the moment the barkeep chose to arrive.

Rowan Blackthorn couldn’t help but watch, shell-shocked, as the blonde beauty pulled the dark sweatshirt off of her curvy torso. As if the barely-there lace tank top wasn’t bad enough, it slowly slipped up her body as she struggled with the sweatshirt. And there, in that moment, he knew he was absolutely fucked. He cleared his throat as he stepped up across from her, averting his eyes.

“What can I get you, lass?” His voice was a soft sensual rumble, but she couldn’t really properly enjoy it in her struggle.

“Right now,” she grunted, “a hand would be nice.” He winced at the fact that he was completely and totally about to begin his descent into hell, and reached over to pull the girl’s sweatshirt off.

She was suddenly greeted by six feet and four inches of pure muscle. She wasn’t exactly short, but the bartender towered over her. His short white hair was cut close to his head. Gaelic tattoos trailed down half of his face and one of his arms,clearly showing off his heritage. His bright green eyes caught her gaze, and she found herself unable to look away. “Um, thanks,” she mumbled, reaching to grab the sweatshirt that he was holding out to her.

They stood there then, just like that, watching each other. He took in her wet blonde hair that fell just to her shoulders, and her tight light pink tank top. At least it wasn’t see-through. Then he would have definitely lost it.

“Y’know,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood, “normally I don’t let guys undress me until after I’ve learned their name.”

He snorted at that. “Is that all it takes with you, then?” Shit. He couldn’t stop himself. The words were already out, but he’d immediately regretted them. Well, that was that, he supposed.

She narrowed her eyes at the man. As pretty as he might be, she wouldn’t put up with any bullshit he was presenting her with. “Give me another Guiness,” she snapped. He raised an eyebrow before turning around to grab it without another word. He pulled the cap of the beer straight off with his hands, the asshole. The muscles in his arms tensed and relieved as he accomplished it, and Aelin just about died.

It was in this moment that Manon sauntered over, two plates in hand. “Are you goin’ back t’yer boyfriend there, or are you stayin’ over here?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she scowled, reaching out a hand for one of the two plates. “On a good day he’s my friend. Right now though, he’s my pain in the ass. So yeah, I’ll eat over here.” Manon smirked as Aelin finally accepted the Guiness Rowan had been holding out.

She walked away, an extra bounce in her step as she once again made her way to Dorian. Aelin rolled her eyes at the predatory smirk that was growing on her friend’s face. It looked like he’d found his footing fast enough. She turned back to her beer, and the asshole of a bartender.

He’d begun to clean a glass, obviously trying to look anywhere but at her. She scoffed, rolling her eyes, and turning her attention to her meal.

Rowan was a fucking idiot. Yeah, Rowan. Great idea. Get the gorgeous girl to like you by insulting her. That always works. Then again, he was sort of out of practice. And more than that, she was only here for, what, a day? Two maximum? He was willing to bet the storm had rolled her in, and she’d be leaving as soon as it was over. Slowly shaking his head, he sighed. Rowan didn’t have time for more attachments to beautiful women who were just going to leave. So maybe being an asshole was a good idea.

Except then he heard the moan slip out of her mouth. And every logical thought left his head as his entire body stiffened at the sound.

“God,” she sighed, “who the hell is your cook, and can I marry him?”

Rowan cleared his throat, straining to talk as her husky voice just played over and over in his head.

Shit.

He was in such deep, unending shit.

“We have two cooks,” he grumbled, trying to prevent his voice from cracking as he watched her lick her fingers, unable to look away.

His words ran away from him as he watched her dip her soda bread in the Irish Stew and take a large bite, letting out another long, low moan. “Please tell me whichever one made this stew is single.”

A low growl built in his throat, the sight much too sensual to bear. That moan. However good that stew was, it couldn’t taste nearly as delicious as he was sure she did. What he wouldn’t give to have her thighs around his head, how she would moan then –

He grit his teeth, shook his head, and forced himself to look away, discretely adjusting his pants as he once again tried and failed to regain his composure. At the sound of bickering voices coming up behind him, Rowan let out a small sigh of relief. Saved by the devils.

“Fenrys, Connal!” He called behind him, welcoming the distraction. And then he remembered what she was wearing. And that he’d been an asshole. And that she had wanted to marry one of the two idiots. And suddenly regretted everything. “You have an admirer,” he ground out. He hesitated, cautiously glancing at Aelin once again as she slowly enjoyed the bread, her eyes closed and a soft smile on her face. He began to smile as well, and then stopped, scowling instead. Remember. Lyria. With that thought in his head, he stormed down the walkway behind bar to go pour some other drinks.


Aelin opened her eyes at the sound of the barkeep stomping away. Her eyes were quickly drawn to the tightness of his pants against what she assumed was his equally tight ass. Dear god. She quickly looked away, chastising herself. She shouldn’t pine after what she knew she couldn’t have.  She didn’t even know his name.

It was then that she found the twins stepping up to her behind the bar. Both were well-built, with gorgeous dark eyes, and deep tans to their skin. They seemed older than the barkeep. The one on the left was easily the most beautiful man she’d seen in her life. He had long golden hair and a mischievous grin on his lips, easily accompanying his onyx eyes that held her favorite kind of sinful promises. The other was just as beautiful, though with long dark hair, and thoughtful dark eyes. He seemed calmer – more melancholy in a way. The dark to the other’s light. Though for some reason, neither could compare to the bartending buzzard.

She took a sip of her beer and grinned at the twins who were eyeing her just the same. The blond was unashamedly appreciating her figure under the tank top, offering her a wolfish grin, hinting that cooking wasn’t the only thing he was good at doing with his hands. Meanwhile the dark-haired twin simply stepped back, leaning against the bar and rolling his eyes at his brother’s behavior.

“Name’s Fenrys,” the blond purred, holding out a large hand for her to shake. She took it slowly, feeling the calluses in his palm as her eyes met the heat in his.

“Aelin.” She smiled coolly, dropping his hand and returning to the stew, feigning aloofness. She could eat politely when she wanted to. And now that the beautiful barkeep wasn’t around, she had no reason not to. She almost laughed thinking back to his attempts at discretely readjusting his pants. As though his lust for her wasn’t entirely obvious. I hope you hate every minute of it, she thought, glaring at his gorgeous broad back.

“So,” Fenrys drawled, dragging her attention back to him. “Is our dear cousin Rowan treating you well? Irish hospitality and all that?”

Rowan. Gorgeous name for a gorgeous man. Her eyes followed him as he poured out shots for a group of boys who looked just barely legal. Then she dragged them back to Fenrys, and lifted one shoulder in a lazy shrug, her face entirely blank. “Well enough, I suppose.” She took another small bite of the stew, even though all she really wanted was to devour it.

“You know,” Fenrys murmured, his fingers lightly playing with the tips of hers, “I could certainly treat you very well, if you’d let me.”

She drew her hand away from his and placed it under her chin, raising a single eyebrow at his forwardness.

“Since I’m not a dog, I doubt you’ll be surprised to hear I don’t respond well to treats. Though since I’m not entirely certain you’re not a dog, unless you’d like me to rip off your balls so you can play fetch, I suggest you leave me alone.”

Connall barked out a laugh as Fenrys staggered back, an incredulous look on his face. A surprised laugh escaped his lips as he stepped away, reaching for the whiskey and mumbling to himself about crazy American women.

It was at this moment that Rowan walked back over, an aggravated look on his face. He should’ve been relieved that she’d probably already agreed to sleep with Fenrys, but for whatever reason, all he felt was a quiet stifling rage. His shoulder rammed into his cousin’s as he passed by him, stepping up next to Connall.

“Congratulations,” Connall grinned at her, “it’s not often a lass sends my brother off with his tail between his legs.” The two chuckled at the joke between them, Aelin finally smiling again as Rowan stood there, confused.

“What happened to your betrothed?” He bit out, defensive, not allowing himself to hope for what was too good to be true.

Aeliln’s smile turned sensual as her eyes once again roamed over his muscular frame. The heat in them almost burned him as they finally met his once again. “Turns out he wasn’t my type. Too easy.” A smirk spread on her lips as Rowan flinched. Connall chuckled again and began to walk away, clapping Rowan on the shoulder. “This one’s all yours, cousin. Good luck.” He winked at him and continued into the kitchen, finally ready to clean up for the night.

She took a few more bites of her stew, and Rowan went back to methodically cleaning his bar.

He wished he could say he’d forgotten she was there. But he hadn’t. Even with his back turned to her, he could feel her behind him, burning him with her gaze, and then it was almost as if her moans were ringing in his ears again. With a low groan, he wiped down the bar harder, angrily scrubbing.

A mischievous grin stretched across her lips, entirely aware of the affect she had on him. He’s going to sleep with me tonight, and he’s going to like it. And then we’ll see who’s the easy one. She ignored the small voice in her head that pointed out the fact that she would no doubt more than like it as well.

“So, Rowan,” she purred, placing both elbows on the bar and leaning her chin on her intertwined fingers, “tell me about yourself.”

Part 2

n ice



Bitter was the only taste you could feel on your tongue. Maybe it was the cheap wine that left such a rotten aftertaste, maybe it’s the way he paid so much attention to her over his own wife. Bitter wasn’t only what you tasted, but it was also what you felt. It’s harmless. He had whined when you confronted him about the new woman from C&R. She was.. Beautiful. Much more than you were– at least In your mind; you had thought so. Long silver hair that went past her shoulders and swayed at her lower back so gracefully. Ocean of blue was the only thing you could see inside her round wide eyes, and she was small too. Thin waist, long legs. A looker all around. But you know what was the most striking feature of them all?

She looked like his fucking cat.

He was interested in a woman that looked like his cat. His million dollar fur ball in human form. The thought was so mind boggling, but that’s Jumin for you.

You gripped your wine glass so tightly; it could’ve shattered at any moment. Of course you were jealous. Your husband was spending more time with his co-worker than he was his own goddamn wife. Who wouldn’t be?

They really never ‘flirted’ per say. He just seemed so.. intrigued, and curious about her; the one apparently named Eliza. God, even her name was so similar to Elizabeth. It drove you insane how much he talked about her now days, it bothered you so much. When you try to change the subject, it always floats back to her.

“ Why the pout kitten? ”
You groaned as a familiar red head snuck up behind your chair, scratching a finger underneath your chin just as one would do to a cat. He usually did that to you, and Jumin hated it. But what Jumin hates was the last thing you cared about right now.

You lazily lift your right hand off of the love-seat to point towards the duo who was chatting on together– looking ever so happy– as your left brought the half emptied wine glass up to your lips. The liquid went down hot seeing as you let it sit for so long, the temperature had gotten the better of it. This was your… Fourth? Yeah, Fourth glass of wine as of tonight. The leather chair squeaked as Seven plopped down– rather roughly, onto it. He groaned contently, the relief of being off his feet for the first time tonight was an amazing feeling. Dress shoes aren’t his thing, and now he remembers why.

“ Hm.. Is that the lady that he’s always talking about? The chick that looks like my lil’ baby Elly? ”
His eyes gleamed at the thought of the soft little kitty, but he quickly was pulled back to reality. He brought a finger up to his mouth in thought as he observed the two carefully– No touching each other yet, that’s good.. He said internally.

“ Yeah. ”
You answered curtly with a venomous tone, practically burning holes into the back of your husbands head– Praying maybe just maybe he’d turn because of it; see you alone with Seven and he’d kick into defensive mode, come swoop you up and take you back home to get you away from Luciel’s flirtations. Hell, you wouldn’t even mind that. Any kind of attention right now would feel good.

“ Awh– Is somebody jealous? ”
He batted his eyelashes annoyingly as he spoke with a baby voice– Of course you were jealous! How couldn’t you be? But you didn’t want to let the goof know his assumptions were truth; so you push his face softly away from yours, he pretends to have a knockback much stronger than what little force you used– it made you both chuckle together with soft smirks tugging at the corner of your lips.

“ It just.. sucks balls. ”
You used his lingo, much to his amusement. “ Sucks balls indeed. ”
Luciel mimicked you before sighing heavily after he commented, personally he found it quite annoying that Jumin hadn’t been paying attention to you. he would love to hang out with you all day. Be able to be with you the way Jumin can; Cat dad doesn’t know how good he has it.

“ It’s like i’m the side chick; You know? Agh.. And I know– It doesn’t seem like a romantic thing.. Jumin just wouldn’t do that… ”
You whisper the last part to yourself, however Luciel has keen hearing. He raised his brow in doubt as you continued on.

“ I wish he didn’t act like he found me boring now days.. ”
The ring on your finger clinked gently against the wine glass– catching your attention. Memories of how it used to be caused you to smile as you stared down at the large diamond your husband gave to you to propose.
Yes, Jumin still treated you good. You felt you didn’t have the right to complain; after all, he was a very loving husband. Maybe it was the controlling side you had deep down inside of you, or it could be you just don’t like how pretty that woman is– It’s aggravating not knowing why this whole thing bothers you so much. It just does.

Things have changed slightly, you’ve noticed. Late nights at the office had been getting even later; that was your first real concern. But with a nudge, you got Jaehee to hang around at work to see what on earth Jumin really does around there. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking, he was indeed working– Which relieved you instantly. She assured you at work there was no flirtations, they just seemed like friends. Hell, everyone told you they just seemed like friends. Maybe you were exaggerating too much– But the pit in your stomach just wouldn’t go away.

“ I bet if I kissed you he wouldn’t find you ‘oh so boring’ anymore huh? ”
You raised a brow at his unexpected words, it was clear Seven had a peculiar interest in yourself but.. It wasn’t something that got in between your friendship. Luciel knew his limits. But that statement was quite bold; it caught your attention.
“ He’d probably permanently sew three– No, Four– body guards on you at all times if he knew I even laid a hand on you…. Agh! ” He threw his head back in frustration, causing you to smile softly. That was true; Jumin probably would pay much more attention to you if something like that were to happen, but you’d never. You could never. It just wasn’t right.

“ MC? ”
The low voice caused you to look upwards– Slowly at that, eyes following the soft pattern of that black suit you knew oh so well. A pair of dark black eyes meet your own, causing you to shiver. He always had that effect on you.

He was tugging on his cufflinks out of boredom, right away he noticed how close Luciel was towards you. It bothered him, and he had no problem voicing those concerns.
“ No. Leave space, at least enough to fit three Elizabeth the 3rds in between you.”
Jumin suddenly grabs your hips firmly–you have to bite your lip to keep from yelping– sliding your body across the leather couch to follow his rule.
Always have to leave space for the Elizabeths.
Both you and Seven roll your eyes at the so called ‘rule’ but Jumin looked quite pleased with himself.

“ You’re one to talk.. Where’s the three Elizabeth’s in between you and pretty girl over there huh? ”
Seven chimed in, You knew right away Jumin would brush it off like he always does– You sigh heavily to yourself. Staring into the dark liquid of your glass as the two start to bicker.

“ I did the math, there was 3.6 Elizabeth the 3rds in between us. I follow the rules, as should you two.”
You couldn’t help but snicker at that, Much to Jumin’s displeasure. He looked down at you heavily for a few moments, after he got no response– He spoke again.
“ We’ll be going soon MC. Would you like me to grab your coat? ”
The ride home was quiet. Driver Kim made small talk with you; he always does. He’s a nice man, and even he seemed to notice something wrong with you. Why couldn’t Jumin notice then? You were texting Seven while slumped into the seat of the car, It was on the messenger but in a private message over the usual chatrooms.

” Con fron tation!!! Con fron tation!!! ”

You smiled softly at the text, looking up for a moment to see what Jumin was doing. He was in his phone as well, so you decided to continue.

“ Should I? What if he yells at me -_- ”

“ then i’ll teleport over there myself and rescue you n elly from that cruel cruel man!!! you deserve better! #justice for elly and mc 2k17!!!!! lololol ”


Well. Maybe you should? But you didn’t want Jumin to be upset. Speaking of which, he seemed to notice you giggling into your phone this whole time. Not saying a word though, but you could feel his eyes on you from across the seat.
Awh, was he jealous?
Part of you wanted him to take a seat in the jealousy club. There’s obviously room for him to join. But it was cruel to have an eye for an eye after all.
Powering down the phone, You place it at your side before sighing softly. Your gaze quickly meets your husbands who had done the same thing a few minutes ago. With a soft smile you look over towards him for a moment before focusing your attention to the window– The penthouse was in view.

He looked like he wanted to say something; But the car had already stopped.
“ We’re back Elizabeth the 3rd! ”
You call out to the kitty; the jingle of sparkly bells on her collar was getting closer and closer by the second. Setting down your bag before crouching, You greet the little fur ball who was meowing wildly– Desperate for attention. She enjoyed your petting; but it was clear Jumin’s eye was what she was after. That makes two, Huh?

“ Hello Elizabeth the 3rd. ” Jumin smiles gently at her as he hangs his coat on the rack, revealing a clean white button up shirt. He uses the backs of his knuckles to pet her face, the sound of her purrs echoed throughout the quiet home.
You leave the two alone; not before excusing yourself to go– just to get out of this god forsaken dress. This dress was tighter than ones you’ve worn before; hoping it might catch Jumin’s attention a little more, but instead you only got some extra looks from creeps and weirdos. Oh– And Seven, but he sort of falls into that category.
From the closet you choose something comfortable, loose grey sweatpants and a simple black tee shirt. It was soft, Jumin only picked materials that were the best of the best for you after all.

Taking one final look into the mirror, you inhale deeply; absolutely dreading the talk to come. Would he brush you off once more? Or finally listen to your pleas? You were mentally planning what to say to your husband.

’ Hey look– Im jealous to the point of it being painful so you can’t be friends anymore with Miss Kitty. No talking. Nothing. Only me. Okay? ’

Fuck no.
That sounded terrible. But hell, it’s what you were thinking after all. It felt so selfish, but one thing Jumin always said is he wanted you to be selfish with him. It’s something he always states constantly, So why do you feel guilty for actually being selfish now?

You made up in your mind that you’d just wing it. Let your emotions spill over, say whatever it is you’re feeling. Hopefully it would give him the push to accept that you were indeed lonely. You wanted to be the only woman in his life… To just hoard him all to yourself. God it sounded awful; but it was the truth.

Your bare feet squeaked against the hardwood flooring, anxiety filled you like never before seeing Jumin resting quietly on the couch, Elizabeth the 3rd by his side.
Without a word, you take your seat across from him. The couch was of course big enough for the both of you, but you really didn’t want to sit next to him right now. Back here was fine. The room was silent, besides Elizabeth the 3rds soft purrs and the gentle hum of the light fixtures. You sort of phase out for a moment, eyes out of focus as you’re lost in thought.

“ Whats wrong with you lately? ” Jumin said suddenly, causing your head to snap up; breaking you from your mindless thoughts. His eyes were trained onto the cat besides him instead of you. He looked calm as always, but his scowl was a bit more pronounced as of now.

“ Nice of you to notice. ”
You state sarcastically, rolling your eyes and hugging yourself by crossing your arms below your chest. He let out a low growl of disapproval, He never did like it when you talked back.

“ Are you cheating on me? ”
That incredibly sudden accusation took you aback instantly. Was he fucking serious? You?Cheating on him? Thats what he thought was different?

“ I could ask you the same thing you know. ” Your tone was bitter as your voice became raised, it was clear how upset he’d gotten you by your change in attitude. Your brows stitch together in a painful mix of shock and anger, how could he accuse you of something so foul? It was enough to make your blood boil.

“ I would never do something as low and filthy as that.
He was glaring deeply at you with fire in his eyes now, Still outwardly calm; which aggravated you to no end. The atmosphere changed so fast. It was heavy and the tension was sharp.
Elizabeth the 3rd quickly scurried away into the bedroom upon feeling the mood change. She must not have wanted to be in the middle of this all. Good call.

“ So you’re implying that I would? ”
You were standing upright now. Nails gripping tightly into your arms; enough to make your skin irritated. The fiery pit in your stomach hurt, as if a rock was inside you. You didn’t like arguing with Jumin at all, but this was pretty inevitable.
He was quiet through clenched teeth. His knuckles were white, and his legs crossed. He still looked so composed as he waited your answer to his question.

“ No, i’m not cheating on you Jumin Han. There– Happy? Huh? ” He didn’t break eye contact and also didn’t say a word, the way he seemed so collected while you were so upset was aggravating.

“ Even though you’ve been living it up with you new little play toy i’ve been here, lonely! All day long! ” He scoffed slightly out of disbelief, Brows scrunched in confusion.

“ My play thing? You must be delusional. Am I not allowed to be interested in knowing someone now days? ”

“ You’re not when the person in question is just so.. so– So beautiful! And smart.. and, And kind! and.. Well– better than me and…”
Your voice fades from sheer anger to sadness in the end. The gravity of the situation hit you hard, hot tears streamed down your cheeks thinking about everything Eliza was that you weren’t. Maybe it would be better if he was with her.. She sure did match him way better than you ever could.

It was silent. It hurt, that he didn’t have anything to say to you. It only made you cry some more.

“ .. Are you jealous MC? ” He questioned after a few moments; gently and with pity in his voice, but you still hated those words. Mainly because it was true.

“ Yes– Okay!? I’m jealous, i’m so fucking jealous! I hate the fact that all you talk about is her anymore. ” You stopped to wipe tears away from your eyes with a sniffle before continuing.
“ I mean.. I don’t have schooling like she does; and I don’t look like your cat.. I’m not successful or own a business like her.. ”
You hung your head low as you avoided his gaze. It’s true, you weren’t even in comparison with her. Not even in the same ballpark.

He sighs heavily to let out his frustration after a few moments of the room being filled with your sobs, swiping a hand across his face roughly before looking up at you. He realized what you were getting at, and he felt like shit because of it. He was being too selfish in this situation. His heart strings pulled painfully at him seeing you brought to tears because of this.

“ Come here. ” It was gentle and soft, he didn’t sound angry or upset. Remorse was evident in his tone. His arms were open to you, eyes warmer than the cold ones you saw before.

God, that was it. That was all you needed right now. You didn’t care how sad you looked or how angry you just were. All you wanted was to be held by your husband, you’ve been wanting that for weeks now. Just.. Needing something. Anything. And this was it.
You burst into tears as you fall into his arms, curling tightly up in his lap as his white shirt was now stained with your tears. He pets his hand over the back of your head soothingly, holding you tight to his chest like a baby. You could hear his heartbeat, it was so steady and barely ever hitched while you two sat there together.

“ I truly didn’t know you felt that way…. I– Im so sorry.. ”
He sounded so sad.. You felt horrible for everything that’s happened. You should have talked about this sooner, instead of letting all the emotions fester.

“ I’m sorry for letting you think I was cheating.. You know i’d never–”
He interrupted you with a soft shush,
“ That was idiotic for me to say. I know you’d never.
He states quietly as he runs his thumb in circles on your back.
“ I’ll explain how you feel to Eliza as soon as tomorrow. ”
You nod softly, still feeling selfishness resonate inside you– But Jumin didn’t mind any of this. He felt terrible for purposely trying to make you jealous these past few weeks. Seeing how close you and Luciel had been getting. It was horrible, doing that all so you’d pay more attention to him. He really didn’t think about it before hand. He just was.. Well, Jealous. No idea that it would all backfire this badly.

” I don’t ever want you to ever feel like you’re not beautiful– Or smart, or successful. You’re My princess. You’re all that and more in my eyes, my love. ”

You cuddled deep into his chest, his words were soothing to you. This whole thing was so ridiculous, you’re so happy it’s finally over.

“ Just.. Can you introduce me to her? I’d like to formally meet the woman who looks like my husbands cat put into human form.”
He chuckled softly, causing you to laugh as well. The vibrations of his chest made your heart skip a beat as you smile.
“ Of course I will. I should have done it sooner. ”
notes: SHITT IM SO BAD AT WRITING ANGST AND I GOT SO LAZY AT THE END THERE HSKSHSJSH
but if you didn’t get it MC was getting super close to Luciel/Seven, so Jumin started talking to Eliza to make mc jealous of him as much as he was of her and seven. Obviously it backfired seeing as they both ended up Angery ™ but hey it worked out in the end and jumin learned his lesson lmao!! check out my masterlist of you’d like as well, in my bio!! i just updated it with some new stuff! ~~
Wrapped Around; pt.4

Jimin x Reader x Tae // College!AU // 9.7k words

Originally posted by jinsthighs

Summary: Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type

Genre: Fluff, Angst

A/N: ha ha ha. I’m so horrible at updating wtf but here ya go guys, part 4! sorry for the wait! (p.s: there was a part 3.5!)

Part 1 | Part 2Part 2.5 | Part 3Part 3.5

Previously…

As your cousin speeds forward, closer to his house, you can’t help but laugh to yourself. You were mixed with equal parts of dread and excitement, longing to wind down the window to shout out their names but at the same time wanting to hide away, hoping that you wouldn’t run into them at all. What a turn of events. Looks like it was going to be a fairly interesting winter break after all.


Standing in the aisle of the supermarket, you glance at the list in your hand then back at the rows and rows of a variety of canned beans. Who knew there’d be this many type of beans? You casually strolled down the aisle, your eyes kept peeled for the one that said garbanzo beans, whatever that meant. 

A short bell rings signaling the arrival of new customers but you’re oblivious to the sound as you continue searching for the can of beans. You hear a loud smack accompanied by a short scream and you spin around, curious as to what the ruckus was about.

“What the hell, Jimin?! That hurt!”

Shit.

You recognise that voice and you definitely recognise that name. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you because what were the odds of meeting them in a supermarket of all places? Maybe that wasn’t Taehyung’s voice and perhaps there could be another Jimin in this town… Jimin is a common name after all, you reason. You exhale deeply, returning your attention to the cans in front of you, you finally find the can of garbanzo beans and put it into the basket that was dangling off your arm.

“Not so nice having a taste of your own medicine huh Tae?”

Tae.

Maybe… Maybe there was another Tae in this town too?

Light laughter fills the air and you stiffen up because that distinct laugh definitely belongs to the Jimin that you knew.

Your mind is in a frenzy as you let the fact that you were mere metres away from them sink in. You turn on your heel abruptly, speed walking down the aisle away from the boys. 

Keep reading

Break Time Activities

Word Count: 1800ish

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Skinny dipping, public nudity (only Dean and Reader see each other naked), unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), a shitty attempt at writing smut

Summary: The reader needs a break from a long night of researching, and Dean helps her unwind.

A/N: I dedicate this to my lovely friends @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @melonshino…. I took a break from my Sam crisis to write this just for you guys ;-)

*****

“Hey Sammy, you find anything yet?” Dean asked tiredly through the speaker of his phone. “Y/N and I are starting to exhaust our options over here.”

“I’m still at the library… it seems like I’m not going to be leaving anytime soon,” Sam answered tiredly. You could almost picture him rubbing his forehead as he talked. “You’d be surprised at how big the lore section of this library is. I’ve never been to a library that is open all night.”

Both of the boys sounded drained, as did you. The three of you had been researching for a case for nearly three hours now - Sam left for the library while you and Dean stayed behind to look online for information. So far you had come up with squat.

Keep reading

Mermay Prompt.

Thanks @chrissihr. So here’s the start of something that I will probably never finish but whatever! I give my gifts of half-completed fic to the universe in hopes something good comes out of it.

Darcy is secretly a mermaid and Steve finds out when he heads down to the pool (saltwater, oc) early and catches Darcy stretching her fins when she thinks she’s alone 😉And Steve, the artist, is so enchanted with his pretty crush’s scales, he’s not sure whether he wants to draw her or touch her




Everything hurt. Right down to the web of skin between his toes. He ached, and about thirty minutes prior he’d been covered in the slimy-remains of decomposing exoskeleton… that had belonged to a guy named Everest Hampdon.

Mr. Hampdon was no more, along with his mutated exoskeleton that he’d used to rip through half of Harlem. Steve Rogers wasn’t ashamed to admit that the thrill of battle certainly got his blood going from time to time, and this was one time that he was more than happy to put the bad guy six feet under.

If only the fight hadn’t lasted a good three four hours, and hadn’t made his whole body feel like absolute, aching shit.

The only thing keeping him upright after his scrub down in the showers, was the promise of Tony’s newly installed, heated, salt-water pool on the fiftieth floor. With a view of the city that inspired the artist in him, and enough warmed water to soak himself up to his eyeballs in.

With his sketchpad tucked under his arm, and one of the extra-large bath-sheets slung over his shoulder, he padded through the darkened halls of Stark Tower, delighting in the feel of carpet under his bare feet.

The tower was a monument of luxury, and while he rarely felt like he deserved to even set foot in it, he knew he’d done a damn fine job that day and saved more than a few thousand lives. For once, Steve felt like he belonged among such finery that he’d never have been able to dream of back in the 40′s.

Almost in the mood to whistle, he leaned against the side of the elevator, the piped in classical music squashing his urge to make a noise.

The doors opened with a soft chime, and he heard FRIDAY’s muted farewell, wishing him a good evening.

Evening, he thought with a snort. It was half past two in the morning. Still, he raised a hand in a casual wave, knowing that FRIDAY would see it, no matter which direction he flapped his fingers.

He picked up his pace as the hot scent of salt water hit his nose, tingling in the back of his throat, and the pure need to be alone washed over him.

Steve nearly groaned as he wasn’t half-way down the hall and his hearing picked up the sound of someone splashing in the pool. Instantly his good mood evaporated, and he had half a mind to head back down to his apartment and just drown himself in his bath-tub instead.

An enormous splash made him pause in his almost-retreat, however, and he frowned. There was a sound like flailing… and a gasp of air. His pulse thudded in his ears as he raced down the hall, convinced that whomever was swimming had actually gotten themselves into trouble.

What he saw as he entered onto the sweltering pool deck had his feet skidding over the slick tile.

Ohfuck,” Darcy said, lifting a hand to her mouth, staring at him just like he was staring at her.

Staring at her not because he’d been clinging to a torch over her for the past, say, twelve months hahaniceonerogerstrythreeyears, no… no he was staring at her not because her top half was barely covered in a white crop top that melted over her skin… no.

No he was staring at her because her bottom half flitted in the warm, salt-water, the colours of her fins glittering just under the surface. Purples. Purples, and hints of red, and even a dash of black-green when she rolled over and sank down, up to her nose. Her hair floated along the water, dark tendrils, and her blue eyes narrowed balefully at him.

Oh fuck, indeed.

“What…?” he asked/stated, and gulped in a lungful of the sweet, salt-air around them. His brain pinwheeled for a moment and then he blurted out- “Issthatacosplay?” without a pause between words.

Cosplay. It had to be a costume. She and Jane were always getting all glittered up and heading out to comic cons or whatever the kids these days were doing that wasn’t Stark science fairs.

He knew the word cosplay. He didn’t think it was, because he could swear that the mermaid half of her (it… it was a mermaid, right? He was allowed to call her that. Right? He wasn’t… accidentally oppressing her with that terminology? He was still struggling to catch up on third wave feminism.) was firmly attached to the human top of half of her.

Darcy’s eyebrows rose up in surprise and she let out a snort of laughter as she rose up out of the water. Her arms crossed over her breasts self-consciously, although he wanted to assure her that his eyes were firmly stuck on the fact she had fish parts and not so much on the rosy-soft pink of her nipples showing through the transparent fabric.

Although… he’d noticed the fabric. And the nipples.

Fuck. What was even…

“Alright, you caught me, I’m a monster, just like… can you give me a twenty-four hour head start before you come after me with the rest of your band of merry mermaid-murdering super friends?” Darcy’s words may have been sharp, but there was a hint of very real, very misplaced fear in her voice. That’s when he noticed her fingers trembling as they gripped her upper arms, and her eyes were wet… not from the water.

“Head-start?” he asked, dumbfounded. “Darcy…”

She tossed her head, some of her hair following the movement, the rest sticking to her shoulders.

“I’m a siren, we’re not the greatest fish in the sea. We lure people out to their deaths and-”

“Hold up,” he said, lifting his hand to stall the flow of information. “Too much… back up for a moment. Can we just.. take a breath?”

She stared at him in disbelief, the delicate, translucent tips of her fins shivering just under the water and making it ripple.

“I’m going to change back,” she said cautiously, looking as if she might bolt, but there was no way she’d out-run him on land if she tried and as powerful as her tail looked, there wasn’t any way for her to swim out of her current predicament. “Could you… look away?” Her face tilted down and to the side, her arms hugging herself even tighter.

“No, I don’t think so,” he answered her. He didn’t trust her to bolt if he did look away, or… or do something stupid. She was looking at the tall, glass windows that walled the pool in with something that was too close to longing for his comfort. “Hey…” he took a step towards the edge of the pool, and when she didn’t move, he took another. “I’m just gonna…”

He slipped down, kneeling at the edge of the water, and then slid his feet into it, sitting on the side.

She sank down low, down to her chin, her tail curling under her, and behind, like she was trying to hide from him.

“Darcy, it’s okay,” he said gently, “whatever’s got you scared, whatever you’re thinking? I can guarantee it’s not gonna happen.”

“But we kill people, Steve,” she said, her voice rough, and now the wet of her eyes was slipping down over her cheeks. Christ, this was a mess.

“When was the last time you killed anyone,?” he asked, more boldly than he felt, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer. Her lips parted, then pressed tight together. She lifted her eyes properly to meet his.

“Never,” she answered.

“Then what’s this we you keep talking about. Seems more like a them from where I’m sitting,” he murmured softly. She glanced away and then straigthened her shoulders with a huff.

“You’re not freaked out?” she asked. He let out an amused noise and then quelled it when she glared at him.

“I might owe Fury another ten bucks…” he said with a shrug, and then glanced down at where her tail flashed and glittered under the water. His fingers itched to draw it, and he was reminded he’d dropped his sketchpad and towel back in the hallway.

“So, uh…” he gestured at her tail as he fumbled for the right words for it.

“You seen the Little Mermaid?” she asked. He felt his cheeks go pink. She smirked. “Okay you have. Well it’s nothing like that. Okay? I’m not a princess, and my daddy isn’t a king with a big gold pitchfork. I’m just… yeah… my people, my family, aren’t the greatest, so I thought I’d take my chances with the land-walkers for a bit.”

“How’s that working out for you?” he asked, a million other questions crowding his mind. She sighed, looking away for a moment, then back at him.

“Well… I guess that kinda depends on you now, doesn’t it Rogers?”

[[Reblogs begets more fic. Do a writer a favour and reblog.]]