there are many things this could be an answer to but i'll let you pick

nachtkniver  asked:

Ohhh can I have a headcanon please? Okay how about how the rfa would react to seeing each other (as in mc and one of the rfa) naked for the first time... Like a very shy mc with no experience and they are about to make love to each other.

Ooh! My very first headcanon. Thank you, dear~! I’ll try not to disappoint. ^^’

Ø  ~~~YOOSUNG~~~

  • Both of you are shaking like leaves
  • Yoosung thought it would be more romantic to undress each other, but now he can’t bring himself to fully undress you.
  • You breathe his name softly, but enough for him to hear.
  • That sure does coax him a bit further. He finally musters up the courage and takes off the remaining garments on you
  • oh
  • oH
  • Yoosung is a complete tomato
  • He tries not to stare, but fails miserably. He looks you up and down several times. You are just so beautiful.
  • When you grip the hem of Yoosung’s underwear, he is thrown from his daze and has to bite his lip to keep from breathing too loudly while you pull them off and—HELLO
  • Seems like Yoosung is really into this.
  • You are now a complete tomato as well, good work. ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭
  • A hundred ideas run through both of your heads as you gaze at each other, taking in every gorgeous inch of the other’s body. Yoosung speaks up.
  • “C-Can I touch you..?”
  • He sounds so eager, as if he’s asking for the entire world on a silver platter.
  • Your skin feels like it’s literally going to melt off. You nod shyly, and he complies.
  • The session is very awkward gentle and full of timid passion. This memory of you will never be erased from his mind.


Ø  ~~~ZEN~~~

  • “It’s okay, MC…”
  • You’re hiding yourself. All of the clothes in the room are piled on the floor, and you are still hiding yourself.
  • Zen strokes your arm gently, encouraging you to loosen up… But how can you be calm when you have a literal super model standing in front of you?!
  • “You’re so beautiful. Why are you hiding?”
  • You finally look up at him with wide, bashful eyes and rosy red cheeks. He tenses up.
  • Mmn… Control yourself, Zen. They are too precious to rush—
  • “We don’t have to—“
  • Zen’s words are cut off by your lips melding with his. That’s all you could think to do.
  • He’s shocked, but wraps his arms around you.
  • You do the same, finally uncovering yourself but
  • Oh sweet mother of god
  • Your naked body is pressed flush against his, and he finally loses it.
  • He pushes you onto his mattress, breaking off the kiss to admire what you’ve been hiding.
  • Damn it, Zen.
  • His cheeks are bright pink, eyes so wide they were almost about to pop out of his head.
  • “I’m never letting you wear clothes again…”

Ø  ~~~JAEHEE~~~

  • You both curl up on the couch to watch Zen’s latest DVD!!
  • You watch her practically swoon at Zen, and it makes your heart sink. She notices something is wrong, and you finally confess.
  • She tells you that you’re silly for thinking he could compare to her significant other.
  • You just have to kiss her, have to take back all of the attention you lost to Zen. You were ready to erase every thought of him from her mind.
  • The two of you lay on the couch, limbs curled around each other, lips locked together.
  • Your heart is about to explode, but you need to make sure she is yours.
  • You undress her very slowly, and every curve of her body is just so… perfect. You can’t help but think she’s too good for you…
  • Of course you’re both red in the face and scared to look at each other, but her beauty seemed to dash out all of that fear.
  • You slowly and painfully begin to undress yourself, insecurities ravishing your mind. What if she prefers Zen’s body to mine? What if she doesn’t love me anymore after she sees…? What if- what if-
  • Finally, all of your clothes are off and you brave a glance at Jaehee.
  • She’s shocked, mouth open in an ‘o’ shape, as if wanting to say so many things that all the words lodged in her throat at once.
  • “You.. You are an angel!”
  • She’s beet red now, covering her mouth at such an embarrassing comment. 
  • But that’s all you needed to hear. ♥

Ø  ~~~JUMIN~~~

  • You agreed to spend a romantic night with Jumin.
  • After the exquisite dinner and a small shopping spree, the night was filled with soft kisses and gentle touches. But eventually, you two wanted more.
  • He threw off his tie, coat, and shoes, then went to undress you, but you stopped him.
  • “C-can I do it myself?” you ask. He nods and you get up?? You leave the room??
  • Jumin sits on the bed, confused.
  • Until you come back in, in one of the robes he had picked out for you.
  • ***Realization***
  • Jumin sits on the edge of the bed, eyes somewhat wide as you near him. You’re looking down, obviously too timid to make eye contact as you open up the robe and let it drop.
  • Jumin is speechless. He stares, mouth slightly ajar. He cannot comprehend how you could be so shy with such beauty. He could swear he’d never seen anything as beautiful since Elizabeth the 3rd in his entire life
  • While your eyes are fixed on the ground, Jumin sneaks out of his clothes very quickly. Like, who even knew Jumin could move that fast?
  • You see his shadow approaching and look up
  • Hot damn, Jumin. That personal gym isn’t going to waste.
  • Like, this guy’s muscles must have their own religion or something what even-
  • He sees the way you stare at him so hungrily, not unlike he is staring at you.
  • He beckons you with a deliberate curl of his finger, and you’re at his side in an instant
  • Let’s face it. Jumin tries to be gentle with the first time, but at some points he gets carried away.
  • You get a nice full body massage the next day. (´∇ノ`*)ノ

Ø  ~~~SEVEN~~~

  • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • Y’all getting all freaky deaky and stuff
  • Half of your clothes are God knows where, his too
  • Basically been making out all through the house, occasionally tripping over empty cans of Dr. Pepper on the way to the whoopee-makin’ station
  • You two finally manage to stumble over to the bed and flop onto it
  • He reaches to take off the last bit of your clothes—to uncover the holy grail of your body, but then he notices how tense you are.
  • “Ah.. Are you sure you’re into this?”
  • You admit that it’s your first time, and he is honestly shocked. But you urge him to continue, and he absolutely cannot deny.
  • As soon as he sees all of you, completely laid bare to him…
  • Jaw, meet floor. Seven is practically drooling. Good luck trying to keep his hands off of you from now on. (’ ̄︶ ̄)
  • He pulls off his shirt and boxers eagerly, and you can’t help but stare at the way his body moves.
  • …For binging on chips and soda, he’s got a spectacular body. You smile to yourself, knowing it’s all yours.
They say that the world was built for two

MP100 Valentines Week 
Day 7; Flowers

pairing: terumob

Story tag

X

To Reigen’s credit, when he opens his front door late on a Tuesday night, to be met with a disheveled and mildly-hysterical teenage esper – whose brilliant idea of a polite greeting is “Please I need your help I am losing my mind” – he doesn’t so much as bat an eye.

“It was only a matter of time at this point,” he says blandly, and stands back to let Teruki inside.

And now they’re sitting on the sofa and the armchair respectively; Teruki curls his fingers around his usual mug, breathing in the steam and the scent of sweet cocoa as it drifts up to him (and it’s amazing, he’s never had a usual anything at someone else’s home before). It’s calming, more calming than a warm drink and familiar cup have any right to be, and after he’s managed a few sips and a few deep breaths, Teruki no longer feels like he’s on the verge of drowning. 

Reigen is waiting patiently for him to sort himself out, but surely that won’t last much longer. “I’m very sorry for showing up like this,” he begins with, hesitantly lifting his eyes. 

Reigen raises a brow and gestures with his own mug for Teruki to get on with it already. Okay. Fair enough. He’s danced around the subject long enough.

Carefully setting his hot chocolate on the coffee table, Teruki folds his hands together on top of carefully crossed knees, and says, as painstakingly as he had rehearsed a hundred times, “I have feelings for – for your student. For Shigeo.”

The words take a weight off his chest as he parts with them.

It feels better than he thought it would. To say it out loud, where someone else can hear. 

Keep reading

fiercefray  asked:

You've probably answered something like this before, but I'll ask just in case. When do you know if you've done enough research? I have this idea for a story that involves girls from different religions and cultures but I'm so freaked out at the idea of screwing it up and saying something wrong about a culture or stereotyping that I feel any research I do isn't enough. I follow blogs that look at this topic and it makes me feel like nothing I could write would be right. Any advice?

Hey there!

Honestly, I don’t think that there’s any way to do “enough” research. Even the people who have lived surrounded by the culture their entire lives may not consider themselves experts. 

But don’t despair! 

Personally, I think that there are three major things to keep in mind that will help you out tremendously. 

First, you don’t have to have every single detail. It’s okay to focus on a couple aspects of the culture, and leave others a bit more vague. If you try and include every single aspect of the culture or religion into your book, it’s not going to be a novel. Pick the most important aspects of the culture that relate to your book, and focus more on those. 

Second, talk to people from that culture. Don’t be afraid of people getting offended. Most people, especially those from minorities and non-mainstream religions would be more than happy to explain their experiences and unique life views to you. We all want to be accurately portrayed, and most of us are happy to answer a few questions to those who want to know. Most would be happy to listen to a scenario you have in your story and give a most likely response that coincides to their culture or religion. 

Three, and very important, write it respectfully. There are many things about other cultures that we don’t understand, and it’s very easy to take something small and make it into a joke or give it a negative spin. It’s a lot like trying to speak a foreign language in the native country; most people are happier to see somebody try because it shows respect for the people. 

And when you don’t know something, research it. Take what you know, write it, and research the parts you don’t know. Have fun with it!

Hope this helps! Let us know if you have any more questions!

-Dianne

Silhouette

A Story About Shaw

(AN: About two weeks ago I posted Destinations, a story about Root and liminal spaces. I knew I wanted to do a companion piece for Shaw, but I couldn’t figure out the theme. The phrase that kept coming to mind was negative space, but it took me awhile to figure out why my brain settled on that. The result was quite different from Destinations, but it kinda had to be. Silhouette was…much harder to write and might be more polarizing than the last for a couple reasons, but nonetheless I hope you enjoy it).




After the accident, Shaw comes home one day to find a framed picture in her bedroom. It’s a photograph of herself from a few years ago. In it she sits solemnly between her mother and father who are both smiling, laughing. Her father’s hands is resting on her shoulder.

Shaw is puzzled, unsure why her mother chose to put this picture on her dresser. By this point she’s realized that people surround themselves with photographs to feel connected; the photos are a reminder of the things pictured in them, a shortcut to the emotions those things evoke.

The day the picture shows up on her dresser, all solemn in its heavy black frame, Shaw stares at it, trying to understand what her mother expects her to do with it. She’s…not content with her father’s absence, but she’s not sure how a picture is supposed to help. She stares at it for hours, but only ends up with a headache.

When she moves to a different, larger room the next year, she leaves the framed photo behind on the dresser. Her mother notices, of course. She doesn’t say anything, but the photo shows up on the desk in Shaw’s new room the next day.

Shaw stares at the picture again, but still comes up blank. Her mother must have had a reason for moving it, so she keeps thinking about it, tracing the implications of the actions and expectations. Tries to understand why it’s so important to her mother that she keep it.

A year later they move to a new house. This time it’s the first thing she packs.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How about a soulmate AU where you only know they're your soulmate after you've touched them? (Reaper, Fresh, Ink, Error Sans's, and UT, UF, US, SF and Feral Tale Sans and Papy's!)

It’s 12:30 AM, that’s tomorrow, right? {I’m just excited because I get to talk about my AU aaaaa} ~Mod Feral


Reaper Sans

He’s pretty devastated. His touch isn’t exactly the most safe of touches, so the fact you survived it is good enough for him. While he understands you wanting to stay with him, he has to turn you down every single time. He’s not risking it again, damnit!


Fresh Sans

Ain’t that rad, bruh? Turns out we’re all meant to be! Honestly, earlier on, he thinks nothing about it. After all, things deal with this all the time, right? It’s not until he starts feeling… something… that he realizes this may be a bigger deal than he first realized. Nah, he’s cool. He swears he’s cool! Don’t mind the occasional look online to figure out what’s going on, he’s cool!


Ink Sans

He’s excited on the outside, but nervous inside. Yes, he’s glad to have met you, and he’ll do anything to keep you safe, he’ll even reassure you that this is real by tapping you randomly. But he’s also usually super busy, and he’s worried something might happen or a certain someone might show and everything will fall apart.


Error Sans

Well ain’t this something? He’s sure this is some sort of cosmic screw-up. He reads the code again and again after he jumped back from you and, no, nothing seems odd or out of place. But, why? Why’d an abomination like him even get a soulmate? Also, never touch him again. He doesn’t like it.


UT Sans

He’s not sure how to feel about this. He’s played around with people plenty of times, saying how he wants to see if they’re soulmates or not before poking them in the face. So when it actually worked, he didn’t know what to do. Should he… take you out or something? On a proper date this time.


UT Papyrus

His handshake that caused this turns into a large hug. Said hug includes picking you up and spinning. He’s so happy! Nothing could really ruin this. He then proceeds to take you on an impromptu date.


UF Sans

Considering he was ready to slam you into the ground when you first touched him, he’s just kinda holding you in the air with his magic as he processes what happened. He then drops you and teleports off. Nah, this can’t be real. He can’t possibly have this type of luck. Something has to go wrong. Go find him and reassure him everything’s fine.


UF Papyrus

He re-analyzes you, trying to figure out how, why, and if he’ll need to guard you or not. No matter what he finds, he’ll then pick you up by your arm, carry you over his shoulder, and bring you back to his house.


US Sans

Practically the same thing as UT Papyrus. It’s a lot stranger, though, cause he’s so small.


US Papyrus

Considering you tapped him to wake him up, he took longer than he’d like to admit to figure it out. He’s then pretty quick to comment on your appearance before falling right back to sleep. Welcome to your new life.


SF Sans

He’s bright purple almost instantly. He drags you into his house before asking you way too many questions about your skills and such. No matter your answer, he’s glad to have almost battled you and will now protect you with his life.


SF Papyrus

His face softens until he remembers you two are outside, and your LV is low. He has you follow him home and then buries himself into your clothes or hair. He, too, will now protect you with his life.


FT Sans

Well, this is awkward. He only even touched you because he had pounced you, set to kill you and bring the soul back to the capital. But now he’s just kinda staring at you, tail flicking. He gets off eventually, but he’s not sure about letting you leave his sights. Not like you’d know he’s following. He’s a master of stealth.


FT Papyrus

There goes his dream job. He’d rather make sure you were safe from the monsters down here than secure his job as a Royal Guardsman. He’ll probably try to scratch, nip, or nudge you, for some light marking. Nothing too painful, though.


Click here for more on Feraltale {Straight to about page here}

Facts on Deitytale by Mod God {For future imagine requests}

I'll Be Here

Steve X Reader

Summary: You’ve always had a thing for Steve, since the beginning and like every perfect cliche story everyone but him knows it. From a questionable background with unusual gifts who could blame him for not noticing. Set during CA:CW, with a few changed details.

Warnings: ANGST,

A/N: I seem to have written quite a bit the last 2 weeks but I’ve loved all the responses I have gotten!!!! Thank you so much. Warning to you all this is not happy and ends in a cliffhanger, you have been warned! This is an edited version because I learned not to post when one is really tired and trying to rush things!


Supposedly this meeting was about setting boundaries and rules when it came being the Avengers. Not that that worked ever, waiting for someone to give a say on whether or not the situation was dire enough by a group of pompous and pretentious people was just stupid. This was going to bite them in the butt one day. Hopefully it was before a whole lot of someones got killed.

You were relatively new to the group having been found by Clint, of course always picking up strays, while on a mission, you brought the destructive aspect to the group.

Having been sold and trained for a little known but dangerous mercenary group, you were eager to get out. Your time with the Devil’s Luck had been torturous. Each day they seemed to have a new way to scare you into submission. The only reason you lasted as long as you had was, you listened. Each week they had taught you a different bomb how to assemble and disarm it. They taught you all the components and at the end of the week you had to perform perfectly or death was the answer.

Clint had been sent in to disassemble the Devil’s. You were lucky to have Clint notice that you weren’t there willingly. It also helped your case that they would chain you every day in the room where they kept their poisons and other volatile explosives. They said it helped remind you of which components were which.

Focusing back to the meeting a new man has entered the room, Secretary Ross, gah even his name made you want to throw up, (he no longer gets a name shall only be known as he) he is staring down each and every one of them.

That is until he comes to you. You meet his glare head on with one of your own. He shifts a little before looking away, you had won this round. It’s not surprising, due to the exposure of the different compounds, while being locked in your closet, your eyes had shifted from their usual (Y/E/C) to a murky purple, not exactly pretty or pleasant to look at.

He starts to blab on about how the group has “helped” so many people, but then he shifts and starts to blame them for everything ignore the lives saved in every incident.

You begin to feel your temper rising up, you shift in your chair. Looking around you can see everyone just taking it. You had been brought here years ago but had been too dangerous to be around others as Fury had told you. When you started training you had gotten to see them in action and vowed to be part of them.

Now that you were, they had quickly taken you in and treated you like family. You would not stand by while this prick tore into them. They were heroes that risked their lives and save millions more. They didn’t need all these rules or whatever crap this man wanted.

A hand on your thigh stops your internal thoughts and quells you anger a bit. Shooting your gaze over to see Steve; he was shaking his head slightly. Pretty much telling you to chill, then his thumb begins to rub circles in your thigh. Great now you can’t stay mad because you’re focusing on the feeling he is giving you, the butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It is a well known fact to all the you have a big thing for Mr. Steve Rogers. It’s also known that you will never make a move because you feel you are not good enough for him. Instead you had chosen to become friends, you would take him however you could get him. You don’t often regret that decision mostly being that Steve was the greatest friend you could ask for.

You’re so in the moment that you don’t move until you hear Steve back firing on Tony, his hand still rests on you but it is tense.

You focus back on the conversation. But don’t last long as you realize that this man had come in here and was now tearing the team apart. He is sranding off to the side a bit as they argue, a small smile appearing in his face. He turns and leaves the room, the door gently closing.

You jerk up, making the chair roll hard into the wall startling everyone, you are seething, a low growl building its way up your throat. You heads towards the door. “Where are you going?” Tony asks.

“I’m going to kill that man, I’m going to make him feel so much pain he’s going to wish he never even set foot in this building let alone mess with my family.” Still growling you turn back towards the door only to have a couple pair of arms hold you still.

“This won’t help anything if you kill him or threaten him.” Sam says while he and Clint attempt to pull you back into your chair. You were standing firm until another chair sputtered back. All eyes shifted to Steve.

“I have to go.” He quickly leaves. You know something is wrong you can tell just from his words. The men release you and you take the moment to following Steve out. It wasn’t often that Steve didn’t jump into help you or defend you so the simple fact that he didn’t proved that he just received the worse kind of news. You hoped it didn’t have to deal with Bucky, he had searched for so long now. Spending months with him and you digging for even the slightest mention of him.

You searched for him for a couple moments till a faint sniffling reached your ears. Opening the door to the stairwell you peak over the edge to Steve in the middle of the flight. You rush down, his shoulders are shaking while he holds his phone out. You glimpse on, ‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’ You gasp taking it in, Peggy was gone no wonder he was in pieces. It was worse than Bucky, not Peggy he had gotten her back.

You both often visited her in the care home. Spending hours talking, you getting all the really good stories to blackmail Steve with. Now she was gone, you wrap your arms around him and he takes advantage by leaning in cause you both to slip to the steps.

A few minutes later he looks up at you, those gorgeous blue eyes are rimmed in red and have a dark shadow in them as his world comes crashing down around him. “I have to go, I need to get packed and go to her. I… I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve lost her, again. Why did I lose her again?”

You nod your head, you had no idea why things were working out this way, fate was cruel. “Come on let’s get you home to pack.“ Taking his hand you get him up and lead him up to his room. You sit him down on the bed and pull out his small carry on bag. He glance up, “I can do it, thank you for taking care of me. Maybe you can come with me. I could the support and you were close with her as well.”

“I’ll be here.” You reply quietly to him.

At the funeral Steve is one of the paul bearers for Peggy. You can see how upset he is even when he sits next to you on the pew. He grabs hold of your thigh again holding on tightly as the service begins. It was a lovely service, even when it came time for family to speak. You were expecting a lot of tears, what you didn’t expect was the blonde woman, especially Steve’s neighbor to get up to speak. She was introduced as Sharon Carter. You feel Steve straighten and his hand leaves your thigh. You glance up to find his eyes zeroed in on Sharon as she shares about her aunt. Another Carter. He hangs off her words eyes meeting until the end and even still follows her with his eyes after she’s done showing great interest in what she was doing.

Your heart putters at the scene, Sam glanced over at your sharp inhale, checking to see what happened. Steve remained focused on Sharon missing your distress.

You had know he had been through to much to just try to jump into a relationship with. Then you had found out about Peggy and knew that nothing was going to happen for a very long time. You wouldn’t compete with someone you had no chance if winning against. From all the stories you didn’t mind either. Now here comes fate with another interesting Carter at Steve’s feet.

He excuses himself from you and Sam to go talk to her. “You shouldn’t let him go like that.” Sam comments to you.

“He is free to talk to anyone he wants to I’m not going to stop him.” You reply getting uncomfortable with the situation at hand. You wait for Steve to come back glancing over at them while they talk flinching every time he smiles at something she said.

“Yup, your jealous.”

“Never said I wasn’t; just not going to let it effect my relationship with him.”

“Uh huh whatever you say.”

Sharon walks away only to have Nat walk up and talk to Steve. He gets a little tense talking to her, but soon heads over sending you a small smile. “She’s headed to Vienna for the talks. Things are going to get dangerous now.”

“I know. I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile, while you give his hand a quick squeeze.

Steve and yourself had split up after the funeral, you had things that needed to get done in New York. Unfortunately, you should have stayed with him. You knew as soon as you saw the news and heard Bucky’s name you were ready to head right back in the quinjet only to be surrounded by men in black tactical gear. Their weapons were pointed straight at you no chance of escape. Then he came sauntering up an evil grin on his face. “Bring her with us, she’s a good bargining chip for him”. They cuffed her and forced her onto the jet but strapped her down tightly.

Upon landing you are carted into a foreign building and kept under lock and key. Constant eyes watching you. Its rather boring just waiting around waiting for something to happen. Lucky for you they didn’t have a full understanding of your powers. While you were stuck in your prison with the Devil’s Luck, not only had your eyes changed but so had your very DNA. The strange combination of compounds mixed further and mutated your blood enabling you to use any poison or other toxins at will.

It was one of the reasons you never told Steve your true feelings. There was a lot you still didn’t know about your powers making you almost a ticking time bomb, when your emotions got high enough you would leak fumes around you. This included the meeting before this whole mess. Steve was one of the few people able to calm you down almost instantly, dissipating anything in the air.

The other reason was Steve had been dealt a sad hand of cards in life, he deserved something normal including a normal love interest. It was why you weren’t exactly angry when he showed interest in someone. Of couse, he could never truely have a normal life, house, kids, and dogs, but it would be better than the “toxic” relationship you would provide. You would never be able to let go fully always worried that you would hurt him. Heck right now you were in a jail cell waiting to be used as bait against him.

As the guard passes by on his round a perfect opportunity to escape. You start to emit a gas known for bending the will. Perfect for your plan with the lack of appropriate ventilation, your cell was soon open and you walked out. You had the guard escort you all the way to the glass office which now held Steve, Sam, Tony, and Nat. There was another man with regal posture but you paid little head to him as you zeroed in on the man that continued to drive your family apart.

The door slide open and all eyes turned to you. You wave the guard off and stare at the man in front of you. Everyone is slowly rising. They can see the wisps of smoke radiating from you. Your eyes have now crystallized to a royal purple instead. Steve approached you arms raised slightly with his palms open toward a you. You let him approach slowly trying to get your breathing and rage under control.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It alright. I promise, we are just seeing things differently.”

“No! He is tearing my family apart and will not let him continue to do this.” You are screaming at this point. “He is the one that brought this on why can’t anyone see this. Turning us against each other. Making Wanada feel like everything is wrong with her when its not. Making Tony take all the blame for the actions if others. I won’t allow it any more!” The waves pulse out again darker and reaching out toward the man in question. He shirks back, finally grasping just how dangerous you are and what you could do, specifically to him at the moment.

He dares to speak, “Rogers, get the monster under control or I will.”

This made all heads turn towards him. “Excuse me,” the rage and venom could be heard clearly in Steve’s voice.

You heard me. Do something before I have to.”

With that he takes his chance and leaves the room. They all continue to stare after him. You on the other hand were shocked at what he said that everything vanished. He had said the one thing you knew to be true but no one had ever said to you. Hearing it was worse and cut you deep; looking around you saw the angry expressions on their faces you’re not sure if it’s for you or the man that just walked out. Steve let’s out a sign before turning back to you.

“I told you to calm down. You might have just made things worse. Now why don’t you sit down and maybe don’t move.” He sounds slightly exasperated as he says this. You feel your heart clench at the tone. You merely nod your head.

“Well great, that fixes nothing,” Tony says glancing now between the two of you. At this point Sharon comes in letting them know that the interrogation was about to begin. She walks up to Steve and you can see him relax, sending her a small smile. Well another nail in that coffin. They look good together you notice, almost a perfect match; at least he doesn’t have to worry about her killing anyone. You sink lower in your chair but even with the small movement you see people tense around you making you go even smaller.

Suddenly the lights flicker and everyone panics, Sharon tells Steve Bucky’s floor and with a quick turn he tells you to follow him closely, this is your escape. You decide to split up Sam and you are on modes of transportation out. Steve would grab Bucky and meet you outside the building.

You hijack a civilian car and go on your way. From your spot you witness the chopper crash and finally see the guys surface. You hoist them in the car and head out of town to an abandoned warehouse district.

Placing Bucky into a giant vice you wait for him to wake up. You have sat yourself as far away from them as you could with still being able to be seen. Steve eventually comes over and sits next to you.

“You could have killed someone today.” You nod, not trusting yourself to speak and know that nothing can help you now. You pray for a miracle. “It was stupid and reckless. You need to get this under control, you were doing so well, before all this happened.” You can tell he is concerned but you fear it is more for others than yourself. You pull your knees to your chest wrapping your arms around them. “Secretary Ross has power, unfortunately he’s using it against us. But, we will get through it, you can’t get involved though. I can’t trust you at this point, you will only make things worse.”

“I’m sorry.” your voice breaks failing to hold back any tears.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” he huffs frustrated. “If that was enough none of us would be in this situation.”

By this time tears are falling down you face silently. He’s confirmed everything you’ve feared the most. Your losing control and nothing more than a monster that was going to hurt others. Worse yet, you knew he wasn’t ever going to feel the same way you did. He couldn’t trust you why would he ever think to love you.

Sam approaches, “He’s awake.” You wipe your tears unsuccessfully masking that you had been crying. Sam probably heard it all. Steve rises to his feet going to Bucky’s side. You look out the window searching for suspicious activity. Not daring to turn around and meet anyone’s eyes.

A while later you notice movement on the roof a few blocks down. “We’ve got movement, couple blocks down. We need to move.”

You continue to watch until Steve walks up, pointing out all the boogies to him, you both come to the same conclusion. Your going to need a diversion, and a pretty big one. Its then that you come to understand your it. The rest needed to continue; this was the end of your story.

You turn to Steve, “Go, I’ll hold them off. You take Sam and Bucky with you do what you need to do.”

“We can’t just leave you here, who knows what they’ll do.”

“I’ll be fine, I’m stronger than I look. I won’t kill any of them I promise. I can hold off being a monster long enough to get you guys out.“ You tell him firmly, hoping he can trust you just enough not to screw this up.

"You’re not…”

“Stop. Please. Just go.” You don’t need to hear any more lies. You shoo him away, not bothering to say goodbye.

Steve nods once before turning to debrief Bucky. Sam walks up to you, “This is stupid and you know it. They won’t let you go.”

“Maybe that’s what I want.” You glance back at Steve talking quietly with Bucky, “Sam, don’t let him come after me alright? No one can, forget I was ever here. Monsters are meant to be locked up so that’s where I’ll go.”

“You’re not a monster, not even close.”

“Please just promise me Sam.” you urge, they need to get out and soon.

“Fine, but promise me you won’t just give yourself up. You get out of here and come back to us.”

“Alright, now go. I can give you guys about 20 minutes head start.”

Steve looks back at you sadness written on his face, “I’ll see you later, alright?”

“I’ll be here.” You whisper with a small smile.

Steve turns and jogs out with the guys close behind him. Turning back toward the front you prepare yourself with each thump of men trying to get in. For the first time you feel like you lied to Steve, you knew you wouldn’t be here.

@annadier

I’m incredibly terrified excited to announce that I’m writing a fic!!!

It’s no secret that I have an overwhelming amount of feels for Tsukki. I have spent a shameful amount of time analyzing his character, speculating his motivations, and developing countless head canons. A couple weeks back one of my dear friends on here made a suggestion that I try writing. At the time I totally brushed her off like that was the craziest thing in the world..and here we are now, hah.

This fic will follow Kei’s development from the moment Karasuno lost to Seijoh in Season 1 all the way through the end of Season 3. My goal is to give you all an inside look at what (I think) Kei possibly went through all that time. Actual canon events and conversations will be used (and tweaked, at times) along with many new situations that I think may have happened behind the scenes while the focus was more on Hinata/Kageyama. (And let’s be honest, I really just needed an excuse to write third gym antics)

Chapter 1 will be posted this Friday, but to thank you all for taking the time to read all of this rambling, there is a preview here under the cut! =^^=

Keep reading

Q&A with Simon D
  • Simon and you have been together for nearly 5 years and Simon has decided to do a short Q&A video with you. Simon has already tweeted out to his fans about the questions.
  • Simon: Hey everyone. Today [Y/N] and I will be answering questions from our fans.
  • You: What's the first question?
  • Simon: Someone's excited for this.
  • You: I only agreed to this because you promise you will let me choose what we eat tonight.
  • Simon: Shh I don't want our fans to know I bribed you into this. Ok, first question is where did you two go on your first date? Do you remember, babe?
  • You: Of course. But you always telling this story so you do it.
  • Simon: I asked her to dinner at my favourite restaurant, but after dinner I found out she doesn't like the place. [Y/N] asked me what I had plan next, I told her I was planning to go to the movies. She disagreed and we went to a bowling place after.
  • You: Dinner and a movie is boring babe. Sorry. But you had fun at the bowling place right?
  • Simon: Yeah it was fun. Here, read the next question.
  • You: What are your thoughts the first time meeting each other?
  • Simon: We actually met a club. It was an after party for some show. I was sitting in the VIP section and I saw her dancing from across the room. I thought wow that girl CANNOT dance.
  • You: Hey!
  • Simon: I'm just joking. But yeah, my first thought was wow she is so sexy so I got up and asked for her name.
  • You: Yeah, I remember seeing this guy who's wearing a grey GUCCI sweatshirt walking up to me and I thought, who in their right mind wears a sweatshirt to a club. Like it's so hot and stuffy in there. Then my second thought was he probably smells because I could see his sweat.
  • Simon: And do I smell?
  • You: Sometimes.
  • Simon: So [Y/N] what is the most romantic thing that I have done?
  • You: Hmm, for our one year anniversary we celebrated it at home. I had a long day at work and I told him I was fine with some take-out but this guy here surprised me. He made dinner, put rose petals on the bed and candles were everywhere.
  • Simon: I have many romantic things and you choose that one?
  • You: Yeah but I think that's the most romantic. Next question.
  • Simon: What are each other’s worst or annoying habits? [Y/N]'s most annoying habit is buying so many clothes and not wearing them. Some clothes in her closet still has tags on them. And when we go out she says she doesn't have anything to wear so I tell her to wear the clothes she bought a month ago. And when we are ready to go out, I would think she's wearing the new clothes but she wears her old clothes. Her clothes are taking up my side of the closet.
  • You: Whatever. You should buy another closet for yourself then. And don't forget you sometimes kick the blanket off the bed when we're sleeping. I'm always getting up and picking the blanket up. Learn how to keep the blanket ON the bed and I'll try to stop buying so much clothes.
  • Simon: Okay okay, I'll try. So the next question is what is your ideal date night?
  • You: I don't think we do a lot of date nights, right babe?
  • Simon: No, we don't. We prefer having lunch together.
  • You: Yeah, lunches, breakfast or brunches. We prefer spending the day together. But also, Simon sleeps super early. He gets into bed around 8:30pm. What old men do.
  • Simon: Hey! I'm not old.
  • You: Whatever you want to believe. Hmm the next question from this fan is a little out of the blue.
  • Simon: What is it?
  • You: Are there any weird fantasies/kinks that you have or into?
  • Simon: Weird fantasies or kinks? We don't have weird kinks.
  • You: Omg Simon. You just implied we have weird fantasies. I don't want to answer this one. I'm going to get a drink.
  • Simon: No, no sit down. You're staying right here babe.
  • You: I'm just going to cover my face then.
  • Simon: I won't go into too much detail or give our fans too much information. Actually I'll just say it in three words. Ready? Ok, toys and accessories.
  • You: Omg you did not just say accessories. What is that suppose to mean?
  • Simon: I told you, I'm not saying anything more. And baby, you should know what the accessories are..
  • You: Let's move on.
  • Simon: Okay last question, do you two have any funny, embarrassing sex stories? Wow our fans are something hey?
  • You: Haha yeah. I know one embarrassing story. Can I tell it?
  • Simon: Are you talking about the one with the phone call?
  • You: YES! Ok so we were at home and in the middle of 'it' , well actually we were both 'nearly there', when Simon's phone rings. The phone was on the bedside table and I asked Simon if he needed to get that. He shook his head and all that came out of his mouth was "Jay, Jay, Jay". Now imagine, you and your partner having the time of your life, you know, and your partner decides to call out his work mate's name when you're about close. It was so weird, yet extremely funny. Oh and if you didn't guess, the person who called him was Jay.
  • Simon: Please stop talking now and I'm surprised you could actually ask me a question when you're in the zone babe. Kudos.
  • You: I didn't say the exact words. I muttered, gosh. Anyway can I tell them what I told Jay the next day.
  • Simon: Aww, do you have too?
  • You: Yes. The fans deserves the whole story. So the next day, we saw Jay at the office and I blurted out what happened. I said to Jay, "my boyfriend busted a nut to you".
  • Simon: Okay okay. No more discussing this story and let's end this Q&A. You've gone too far babe.
  • You: Fine. And we're having ramen and dumplings tonight.

anonymous asked:

can i ask for 15 for mreyder?

Things you said with too many miles between us

The life of a Pathfinder was nothing if not unpredictable. One moment Scott was helping to gather some minerals on Elaaden, the next came an urgent summon to the Nexus or a distress call from the resistance on Voeld. Still, even among all this hecticness – or maybe because of it – he found comfort in establishing a small routine, things repeated almost every single day that helped to ground him no matter in which corner of the galaxy he was at the moment: ungodly amounts of cereal for breakfast, the morning hug from Jaal, feeding the Pyjak forbidden snacks behind Lexi’s back. And of course daily calls to Reyes, right before Scott turned in for the night.

It felt nice to see his lover’s face and hear his voice broadcasted through the infinite void, even if that wasn’t nearly enough to fully quench the longing. They always chatted a bit about what interesting happened to them and joked a little, exchanging cheesy lines or bad puns. Sometimes the conversation took a turn into a naughty territory when they hadn’t seen one another for a long time and were itching for a release.

Scott adored their talks, the time devoted to no one else but each other, the comforting assurance that they both were alive and well, which wasn’t a given with the kind of lifestyle they both lead.  

Today Scott needed to see Reyes more than ever.

Lying on the bed in his quarters, one hand under his head, the other with the omni-tool in front of his face, he told SAM to make the call.

“Good evening, Kadara,” he said as soon as his lover’s smiling face appeared on the display. Reyes must have waited for the call because he picked up almost instantly.

“Ryder. How is my favorite Pathfinder doing today?” he asked in an upbeat tone. But the cheerfulness gradually faded from his face the longer he stared at Scott. He could always read him like a book. “Are you okay?” His words were caring, gentle, inspiring confidence and urging Scott to open up. And Scott needed that kind of encouragement to pour his heart out, the certainty that he would be heard.

“No. Not really,” he sighed, using his omni-tool-free hand to rub at his temple. He wondered if he looked as tired and dispirited as he felt.

“What happened?”

Scott took a deep breath and let the words flow.

“I was on Eos today when I heard that some of the people from the outpost went to explore the remnant ruins, even though I told them over and over again that it’s dangerous and they should stay away. I drove there as fast as I could but…” Scott paused, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, they were filled with anguish. “I arrived too late. The remnants tore them all to shreds right in front of me. I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t save them. If only I was faster…”

“Scott, stop,” Reyes interrupted him, adamant but still sympathetic. “You can’t blame yourself for their stupidity. What happened wasn’t your fault.”

Scott heaved a sigh. A heavy burden of guilt weighed on his chest, one that he just couldn’t shake off.

“I know. I know, but…” he paused, his mournful eyes telling more than any words could ever do. “I wish you were here with me right now,” he whispered, sounding hopeless and pathetic to his own ears.  

But Reyes looked at him not with scorn, but with tenderness.

“I wish I was.”

The silence that fell between them was full of tension, vibrating with the vastness of space between them, the light years keeping them apart when the only thing they wanted was to be in one another’s arms.

Reyes was first to speak up.

“SAM?”

Scott couldn’t hide his surprise when Reyes addresses the AI. Especially when SAM responded.

Yes, Reyes?

“Could you do something for me?”

Yes. As long as it will not go against my programming or against the Pathfinder’s wishes.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. Could you… could you make Scott feel as if I’m holding him? I think he needs that.”

Certainly.

“What? Reye–” Scott gasped when the sensation of being enveloped in a pair of strong arms spread through his body. The pressure against his skin, the warmth, it all felt so real. Scott’s throat clenched as he tried to rein in his emotions. He couldn’t deny though that the weight on his chest became lighter. 

“Better?” Reyes asked.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

Scott tried to protest, but all it took was a little of gentle coaxing and he finally gave up. He closed his eyes and fell asleep quicker than he would imagine, safe in the imaginary embrace.

Reyes dawdled with ending the call, observing how Scott’s chest moved steadily with every breath he took, the expression on his face peaceful at last.

“SAM?” he asked once again.

Yes?

“Can you help me with something one more time?”

With what, Reyes?

“Tell me where will you be touching down in the morning.”


* * * 


Of all the things Scott expected to find at the next port, Reyes, who had apparently flown like a madman entire night to get there before him, wasn’t one of them. Surprised, touched and happy, Scott was glad to confirm that no sensory substitute of a hug could compare to the real thing given freely and with love.


If you liked this ficlet please consider buying me a coffee. Any donations are greatly appreciated,

I'll Fight for You (JJK)

Words: 978

Angst


“It feels so nice being back home” Junkook said smiling as he threw himself on your bed.

“My home became your home now?” You laughed, sitting next to him.

“You’re my home, y/n” he thought. He couldn’t think it out loud, though. It would cause you both trouble. Junkook just laughed with you.

“Should we go out? We have so much to talk about” you smiled at him, standing up and pulling him up with you.

“Lets go to that park we used to always go to when we were younger” Junkook suggested and you nodded in approval.

You both walked next to each other quietly through the night’s cold air. You looked up at Junkook and saw him smiling faintly at the empty park’s pathway.

“What are you smiling at?” You asked him as you stopped in front of him.

He looked down at you and his smile got sadder. Your heart sank and you thought of everything bad that could be said.

“Y/n” his voice called softly and you looked up at his eyes.

“Hm?”

“Let’s stop seeing each other” he told you and your eyes immediately filled up with tears.

“B-but why? I’m fine with you disappearing every now and then and not contacting me on so-” he cuts you off by pulling you into his chest. Your breath got heavier and you shut your eyes tightly letting a few tears escape your eyes.

“It’s not easy for you to see me anymore, is it?” He asked you and you pulled away.

“Why not?” You asked him in confusion.

“I know you like me. And I feel the same way towards you” he answered, making your entire world spin. He knew? When you made sure he won’t notice it. You tried your best not to let your feelings spill out, but here you are now standing in front him who had caught you.

“If I stay next to you, we can’t be happy. I can’t hold myself anymore. My company isn’t letting me get involved in a relationship”

“We can just be friends. Like always?” You suggested desperately.

“It’s not easy, y/n” he whispered.

“I’ve been there. I’ve liked you way before you liked me. Ever since we were kids. Not being able to say anything, not being able to tell you how I felt. It’s suffocating” he said and you let your tears escape as you sat down on the bench. It hurts.

“I’m so sorry” his voice got shaky. You opened your eyes and looked at him. He was holding back his tears just like you earlier.

“Maybe we could meet later. When we’re a bit older. When the lights around me had dulled down and the screams of fans faded. I will never forget your support and I will always know you’re out there, supporting me” he said, trying to stable his voice as you cried your heart out on the bench.

“Are you seriously leaving like that?!"you cried as he turned around and walked away.

"Junkook! Jeon Junkook!” You called his name. You tried running after him but he was already gone.

He thought letting you go will make you happier. He thought there were so many people that are better in the world. People that he could be easily replaced with.

You watched as his car disappeared into the distance. That fool whom you’ve loved for the longest of times. Whom you dreamed of growing up with was now just someone you’ll have to pay to meet with.

Junkook cried in the car. His best friends didn’t know what to do. They just looked at their youngest boy, crying as his heart ripped into pieces.

“Yah, Jungkoogah” Jin reached out for him quietly, pulling him into a comforting hug that made him cry even more.

“We can talk to the manager if it’s way too hard for you” Jimin said from the back of the car.

“It’s no use!” Junkook replied through his tears.

“I’ve tried and tried. They threatened to kick me out of the group. There are fans out there waiting for me. Waiting for us. I can’t let something personal get in the way” he explained to his hyungs as they listened attentively.

“If that personal thing means the world to you, you have to fight for it” Yoongi told him.

“If you love that girl, go after her. Risk everything you have for her. And just not seeing her won’t fix your heart, nor her heart. Junkook this isn’t one or two or even three years of friendship. You guys grew up together, loved each other, supported each other. And now admiration is involved. You can’t just let her go like this!” Yoongi advised. The car fell silent.

“Should we go back?” Hoseok asked him with a small, reassuring smile.

“Please take me back to where you picked me up from” Junkook told the driver and his hyungs cheered.

You laid in your bed, looking at she ceiling as your tears dried off. Your heart ached deeply at the mere thought of not being able to talk to him again. It wasn’t only friendship now. He likes you and you like him. As a man to woman. And that made it even more bitter.

Through the darkness of your mood and wild thoughts, someone rang your door bell. You didn’t feel like moving, but that person kept ringing it non stop. Frustrated, you got up and dragged yourself to the door. As soon as you opened it, you saw him.

“Jungkook?” You asked in confusion at his sudden return.

He didn’t say anything. He just kissed you through your pain. Everything washed off as soon as he pulled away and held
Your face in his hands.

“I’ll fight for you” he breathed.

“You’re everything I want. So I’ll fight for you”

anonymous asked:

Well darn it! Now I need to know what kind of yandere Deathsaurus is!! Wanna pick up where you left off with Tarn? XD And I love yandere Fort Max too, but somehow also yandere Overlord??! D: Imagine the nightmare of Overlord taking interest in the same human as Fort Max, considering their history! QAQ Obviously I'd choose Fort Max... but since when did the "object of affection" get to chose?

You have tempted me!  I am now tempt!  XD  (Continuation of this post.)

Truthfully, Deathasaurus would be pretty tame as far as the Decepticon yanderes go.  He already has a great relationship with his crew, so he’s not starved for attention or anything,  He’s more concerned with your welfare, and making sure you have time to adjust after being held captive by the DJD for so long.  You two actually end up forming a pretty strong bond, although a very strange one.  He casually threatens you with the possibility of murder at least once a day a la The Princess Bride, but it’s mostly just bluster on his end.  

His yandere side comes out whenever he senses a threat to your safety.  He knows his men wouldn’t lay a finger on you (at least not to harm you, but Deathasaurus has made it perfectly clear to them that they’re not to touch you for… other purposes either) but he will bristle on go on the alert around strangers or anyone who seems suspicious.  He hates to admit it, but you’ve managed to worm your way into his spark.  There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you.  Some mech giving you a rough time?  Don’t worry, sweetspark, he’s got this!  See something you like out shopping?  Deathasaurus will buy you one in every color!  Heck, he’ll buy you the whole store!  Anything to keep you at his side.  

At night he likes to cuddle you close to his chest and rarely will take no for an answer,  More often than not, you find your self drifting off to sleep as you’re lulled by his rumbling sleepy purr.


As for Overlord and Fort Max, well, why do you think Overlord became so fascinated with you in the first place?  ;)

Truthfully, Overlord has no interest in you personally at all, he just can’t stand for Max to have any sort of happiness in his life.  If he can, he takes it for himself, if not, he ruins it.  He becomes obsessed with you, trying to find a way to take you away from his long time rival.  (He’s got so many things planned for you, and if he can, he’s going to make Fort Max watch it all until he rips out his spark)

This drives Fort Max’s paranoia up 1000%!  Forget sneaking around and checking the security cameras.  He’s never letting you out of his sight again!  He insists on carrying you everywhere you go, even for short distances.  He becomes increasingly more suspicious of strangers and the other mech on the ship.  Sometimes his frustrations will get the better of him and he will snap at or lecture you if you do something that could put yourself in danger (though he always apologizes after.  It breaks his spark to see you upset.)  He insists on having you sleep in his room at night and installs about 50 more locks on the inside.  

He’ll do everything in his power to make sure that monster never gets his hands on you, and if he somehow does?  Max will tear Overlord apart with his bare hands to get you back.

“Beauty And The Beast" - Negan Imagine (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Negan x Reader

Prompt: “Being on the Lucille Lineup and Negan taking an interest in you.”

Word Count: 3441 (this is a long one, at least longer than I usually write bc I introduced a character so yah yah yah)

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Warnings: violence, (near) “smut”

CHAPTERS:

Chapter One, Chapter TwoChapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine

Originally posted by hardyness

You were ripped from the backseat of the van along with Daryl, Negan’s men dragged you two in different directions. You were worried about Daryl, he was wounded and you knew he’d been beating himself up over what happened to Glenn.

Keep reading

Cheating Fic - Zen Part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6


In an instant Zen collapsed on the floor next to you and pulled you into his arms. He was sobbing, you were sobbing. The bathroom was filled with the sounds of both of you crying. Zen lifted your hand carefully to inspect it. Wiping his eyes he picked you up off the glass scattering the floor and carried you to the bed where he placed you gently. He disappeared quickly before returning with a small first aid kit. Neither of you spoke as he cleaned up your knuckles and bandaged your hand. Even though you felt slightly calmer you couldn’t stop yourself from crying. Zen saw the tears streaming down your face and his own eyes started to well up again. You had to get out of there. Climbing off the bed you started heading towards the door. Zen swiftly got up too, making it to the door before you and holding it shut. “Please don’t leave,” he begged. Slowly you dropped down to the floor and put your head in your hands. God, why was this so hard? Why couldn’t you just push him out of the way and run off again? Even though your eyes were covered by your hands you could sense Zen was now sitting next to you, and a quick glance through your fingers confirmed this. “I’m so sorry for everything,” he started, “I don’t deserve anything more from you, I’m just so… lost. I’m an idiot for what I’ve done.” You scoffed and muttered under your breath, “that’s a much nicer word than I would use.” He stopped to look at you, pulling something out of his pocket. As he opened his hand you could see your engagement ring glaring at you. “If you leave me, I’ll understand, but I’m begging you to give me a chance, I can prove to you how much I love you, just let me show you,” he pleaded, his hand getting closer to you with the ring. Your mind was racing. What the hell were you going to do? You had to decide whether you were staying with him or not, and you had to decide now. If you left it any longer it would drive you insane. Looking at the ring, at him, your heart felt a little warmth. You couldn’t help but think of all the amazing times you had shared. All the sweet kisses in the morning, all the times he made you breakfast in bed, all the times you made love. There were so many beautiful things about your relationship, you just didn’t understand how it had got to this. Here you were, both of you sat on a pile of clothes and debris, crying profusely. The ring kept glimmering in the light as his hand started to shake. He was nervous about your answer. So what were you going to do? Walk out and never look back, moving on with your life and forgetting the guy who broke your heart into a million pieces? Or were you going to work together and fix this mess? Because despite everything you still loved him with every ounce of your being. You sat there for what felt like forever, trying to decide your future. 

Finally you made up your mind. Looking at the ring and then at Zen, you started to talk. “I’m…”


movielover55  asked:

Dear juanjoltaire, I really admire/ love looking at your art. While I do want to draw art digitally I don't have a tablet yet but I'll get one soon. But this is besides the point my question is, I love drawing but I never think my art is good enough especially when I'm drawing people. Do you have any advice/tips as on how to overcome this. I really want to look at my art and feel accomplished and not feel that it's not good enough. Thank you for your inspiring art. -movielover55

Hello there! First of all, thank you very much, I appreciate you enjoy my art. Now, to answer your question, I want to tell you (and I promise this is a positive message) that that feeling of not being good enough never goes away. I feel not good enough everyday. I feel not good enough when I see people who are ten years younger than me who can draw better, I feel not good enough when I show my art to someone important, I feel not good enough when I scroll through my blog and see my recent posts. I feel not good enough when people tell me I’m not good enough.

Like my anxiety, my insecurity is something that I live with constantly, something that many artists live and struggle with. I would say that most artists feel like this, and no matter what we draw we can always find weaknesses in our art, and things we wish we were better at, and artists we wish we could draw or color like. But the positive side is that ‘not being good enough’ feeling drives us to want to become a better artist. If you use that fuel to draw more and post more, you’ll be on your way to becoming that artist you want to be. And when you look back at that growing library of art, you can get that sense of accomplishment you’re looking for when you pull out an old piece next to a new piece and say look how far I’ve come.

That’s my main pick-me-up technique. I go and look at my oldest art and compare to the new so I can see that I am getting better and stronger as time passes. Something that I’ve been doing this year is keeping track of my monthly progress. You know those end of year art summary posts? I started making mine in January and it made me feel better each time I added to it at the end of the month. I would highly recommend starting to make art summaries if you don’t do them yet because you might want them for comparison in the coming years. Plus, looking at a full chart at the end of the year really, really does bring me a sense of accomplishment, and might bring you that feeling too. Look at all this art I did, me, keep it up.

And then secondly, when I’m feeling bad about my skills, I actively go and seek out photographic reference of people and draw them. When your imagination and style fail you on difficult days, studying real people and real things can help put you back on track, so that next time you draw from imagination, you’ll remember a little bit more about shape and anatomy. Take 15 minutes and practice a portrait while you watch TV. You don’t have to be formal about it, you don’t have to post it, but just try to refresh yourself from practice, and know that by doing that, you are getting better. Every single time you study a face, or an animal, or an environment from reference, you are enhancing your skills. Just make sure it’s photographs (or from life drawing), because reality is your best teacher. That’s where all the answers are.

So that’s my advice, just to keep around reminders of your progress, and use your feelings to drive you to practice and improve, instead of letting it bring you down. It takes time and patience with yourself and with your skills to quell that voice inside and use it as a positive as opposed to a negative. Now, this is speaking from my own experience of course. If you manage to kick your insecurity completely, and it could happen, all the power to you. But I want you to know that it’s normal and common for it to be there, and that you can use it to accomplish good things if you look at it from a different perspective. Even when ‘not being good enough’ brings you to a very low point, make sure to fight back. Keep drawing, and don’t let it stop you.     

Placebo lyrics sentence starters
  • "I've never been an extrovert, but i'm still breathing."
  • "I gotta get high, before I go outside."
  • "I'm in alcoholic kind of mood."
  • "I know, you've got me wrapped around your finger."
  • "I know, the past will catch you up as you run faster."
  • "I know, the last in line is always called a bastard."
  • "We were born to lose."
  • "It's either you or me."
  • "S/he stole the keys to my house and then s/he locked herself/himself out."
  • "I'm confused and racked with self-doubt."
  • "Don't you wish you'd never met her/him?"
  • "You don't care about us."
  • "You're too complicated, we should separate it."
  • "Think I'll leave it all behind, save this bleeding heart of mine."
  • "I'll take it by your side."
  • "Without you, I'm Nothing."
  • "Without you, I'm Nothing at all."
  • "Don't let me down."
  • "Your smile would make me sneeze."
  • "I'd pay to have you near."
  • "Don't forget to breathe."
  • "Another love I would abuse, no circumstances could excuse."
  • "I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind."
  • "There's nothing here but what here's mine."
  • "Never thought I'd fill with desire."
  • "Never thought I'd feel so ashamed."
  • "Never thought all this could back fire."
  • "Never thought you'd fuck with my brain."
  • "Say goodbye."
  • "You must realise that you're never alone."
  • "I'm a man, a liar."
  • "Now it takes him all day just to get an erection."
  • "Things aren't what they seem."
  • "I dream of a face that is pure as perfection."
  • "Hey motherfucker, I'm after you. I know where you live."
  • "Change your taste in men."
  • "Come back to me."
  • "Join the masquerade."
  • "I'll describe the way I feel; weeping wounds that never heal."
  • "No escaping gravity."
  • "Draw your final breath."
  • "Every time I rise I see you falling."
  • "Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?"
  • "I was never faithful, and I was never one to trust."
  • "I'm forever black-eyed, a product of a broken home"
  • "I was never grateful, that's why I spend my days alone."
  • "I wrote this novel just for you."
  • "I wrote this novel just for you, that's why it's vulgar, that's why it's blue."
  • "Those motherfuckers got it wrong."
  • "They said I should get expensive help to fix my head."
  • "I don't care for myself."
  • "Run away from all your boredom."
  • "Run away from all your whoredom."
  • "All it takes is one decision."
  • "Run away!"
  • "You're the one who's always bruised and broken."
  • "I understand the fascination."
  • "I understand the fascination, I've even been there once or twice or more."
  • "Please don't die."
  • "It seemed a place for us to dream."
  • "Love can die."
  • "Wake up..."
  • "I've got problems with the booze, nothing left to lose."
  • "I'm faithless... I'm scared."
  • "I'm on my own for far too long."
  • "She's insane, this friend of mine."
  • "Always stays the same, nothing ever changes."
  • "Hold your breath and count to ten."
  • "Beware this troubled world."
  • "Soulmate dry your eye."
  • "Soulmates never die."
  • "Hush, it's okay."
  • "See you at the bitter end."
  • "There's something rotten down here..."
  • "Don't forget to be the way you are."
  • "The only thing you can rely on is that you can't rely on anything."
  • "Don't go and sell your soul for self-esteem."
  • "Remember me..."
  • "Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry the whole night through..."
  • "I'll be your father, I'll be your mother, I'll be your lover, I'll be yours."
  • "I'll be yours."
  • "Well I've seen you suffer, I've seen you cry for days and days..."
  • "You never were a genius."
  • "Yes I know you're the jealous type."
  • "Walk away!"
  • "Protect me from what I want..."
  • "Maybe we're victims of fate."
  • "Remember when we'd celebrate? We'd drink and get high until late."
  • "Now we're all alone."
  • "Come on fallen star I refuse to let you die."
  • "I've been waiting far too long!"
  • "Be mine."
  • "I was alone, falling free..."
  • "What happened to us, what happened to me?"
  • "Baby...did you forget to take your meds?"
  • "I was alone, falling free, trying my best not to forget."
  • "I will be the one to make you crawl!"
  • "I came down to wish you an unhappy birthday."
  • "Someone call the ambulance..There's gonna be an accident."
  • "I can see in the dark."
  • "I will be the one to watch you fall."
  • "I will find you!"
  • "You're always ahead of the game, I drag behind."
  • "You possess every trait that I lack."
  • "You got A's on your algebra test, I failed and they kept me behind."
  • "I just gotta get off my chest, that I think you're divine."
  • "You let me down before."
  • "I'm medicated...How are you?"
  • "It's the pills that bring you down."
  • "It's between you and me."
  • "It's the pills that pick you up."
  • "It's the special way we fuck."
  • "Fall into you, is all I seem to do..."
  • "I'm afraid to be alone."
  • "This house is no longer a home."
  • "Don't give up on the dream!"
  • "Tear us in two, is all it's gonna do."
  • "Don't go and leave me."
  • "Please don't drive me blind."
  • "I'd fill your every breath with meaning."
  • "I'll find a place we both could hide."
  • "You don't believe me."
  • "You do this everytime."
  • "I know we're broken."
  • "Your eyes forever glued to mine."
  • "I know I broke it."
  • "I know I broke you."
  • "It's horrid to see you again."
  • "When I dream, I dream of your lips."
  • "When I dream, I dream of your kiss."
  • "When I dream, I dream of your fists."
  • "I was not honest."
  • "And I'll wait my turn,to terrorize you."
  • "Can't you see these skies are breaking?"
  • "one of a kind is all I own."
  • "I wanna try but I get annoyed."
  • "In the cold light of morning the party gets boring, you're high."
  • "In the cold light of morning,You're drunk sick from whoring and high."
  • "You are one of God's mistakes."
  • "You're a waste of skin."
  • "You're waste of space."
  • "It's a song to say goodbye."
  • "Well now you need me more than I need you."
  • "You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?"
  • "It doesn't hurt me."
  • "You don't want to hurt me."
  • "So much hate for the ones we love."
  • "Tell me, we both matter, don't we?"
  • "Let me steal this moment from you now."
  • "The way you're dancing makes me come alive."
  • "Move closer, I wanna feel your touch."
  • "The way you're moving, makes you all that I desire."
  • "You are the one who took my place."
  • "And it was a leap of faith I could not take."
  • "And it was a promise I could not make."
  • "You are getting in the way!"
  • "I have nothing left to say."
  • "I will pretend it didn't hurt."
  • "You are a cheap and nasty fake."
  • "I am the bones you couldnt break!"
  • "I always aimed to please."
  • "I nearly died."
  • "For what it's worth?"
  • "Come on walk with me."
  • "Got no friends, got no lover."
  • "I've been wasting all my time!"
  • "I got no energy to fight."
  • "I don't see the point in trying."
  • "All of my wrongs, and all my wicked ways,Will come back to haunt me."
  • "He wrote all the songs I hope to write someday."
  • "Looks like the devil is here to stay."
  • "We'll kiss and tremble with the delight."
  • "I had so very much to say."
  • "I pretended I was okay."
  • "So I haven't given up."
  • "A heart that hurts, is a heart that works."
  • "No one can take it/you away from me."
  • "I long, I burn to touch her/him/you just the same."
  • "Don't let them get their way!"
  • "There is no law we/you must obey!"
  • "Damn you all to hell!"
  • "Time will help you through..."
  • "The sound of silence grows."
  • "The two of us are rebels."
  • "The payback is here, take a look, it's all around you."
  • "You thought you'd never shed a tear."
  • "This ain't no singing in the rain."
  • "You can run but you can't hide!"
  • "No one here gets out alive."
  • "Breathe me every time you close your eyes..."
  • "Taste me every time you cry."
  • "This memory will fade away and die."
  • "Just for today, breathe me and say goodbye..."
  • "How many times?!"
  • "Now I can't look you in the eye!"
  • "And I don't even want to try."
  • "Every word from you is a lie."
  • "I'm always falling on my face."
  • "I don't think that you're aware of the cost."
  • "Stupid me to believe that I could trust in stupid you!"
  • "Don't leave me here to pass through time!"
  • "I don't know where to begin."
  • "Don't leave me here."
  • "I'm sick of fighting..."
  • "The cold is biting..."
  • "My broken spirit is frozen to the core."
  • "Don't wanna be here no more."
  • "Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes?"
  • "And wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away?"
  • "You must be joking!"
  • "You don't even know a thing about it!"
  • "You've got no problem."
  • "I'd stay right there if I were you!"
  • "The grass is always greener over there."
  • "I don't want to be alone."
  • "I'm alive, so alive."
  • "I'm in a desperate situation."
  • "Now there's a hand print on your cheek."
  • "Is it my imagination?"
  • "Let me pay you back in kind."
  • "I always watch you when you're dreaming"
  • "I always watch you when you're dreaming because I know it's not of me."
  • "I smoke a dozen cancer sticks."
  • "We run for our lives."
  • "Promise me that we will make it through."
  • "Don't worry baby - it's just the end of the world."
  • "I refuse to remain in regrets."
  • "I've existed too long in secrets."
  • "Help me start to heal."
  • "Every one of my needs will be met."
  • "I refuse to be left behind."
  • "I know you want to stop."
  • "Be glad for what you got."
  • "I recognize the smile."
  • "There are some things I cannot forget."
  • "It may be for a while, I'll pretend we've never met."
  • "And maybe we will part."
  • "Will your paranoia keep you warm?"
  • "I will still enjoy to watch you fall."
  • "Stop!"
  • "I try every day"
  • "I try every day, to think of something deep to say."
  • "If I am an extra in the film of my own life, then who the hell is the director?"
  • "Show me how to live."
  • "There's a riot in my head."
  • "Let's fight until the end of days."
  • "Let's destroy and let's devastate."
  • "I know where you live."
  • "Time is money, bastard."
  • "You are so beautiful."
  • "Love claims to have the answer."
  • "Can you imagine a love that is so proud?"
  • "We are loud like love!"
  • "If you were mine, then we would know!"
  • "And with our bodies entwined we will know paradise."
  • "My computer thinks I'm gay."
  • "I got too many friends."
  • "I'll never be there for you/them."
  • "I am a small and gentle man."
  • "Hold on to me..."
  • "My behaviour is hard to understand."
  • "But I'm still doing all I can, to try and get me some redemption."
  • "And I'm knee deep in sinking sand, crying out for your attention!"
  • "Rob the bank!"
  • "Take me home, then make love."
  • "There wasn't much I used to need..."
  • "Now my mistakes are haunting me."
  • "I've lost the power to understand what it takes to be a man."
  • "You tried your best to be a friend to my heart."
  • "I saw you wanted this to end."
  • "Please no grieving, my love, understand?"
  • "Now I feel I've lost my spark."
  • "Can't you see I'm sick of fighting?"
  • "Can't you see I've lost my way?"
  • "All my dreaming torn in pieces..."
  • "As you wake does he smother you in kisses long and true?"
  • "Want you so bad I can taste it!"
  • "If I could, I would hover while he's making love to you, make it rain as I cry."
  • "Your touch, I cannot regret!"
  • "You're so my kind."
  • "You're so my kind, erotic and devine."
  • "To me you're more than a human, you are more complex."
  • "You are like a fallen angel."
  • "Look me in the eyes, say that again."
  • "Knock me off my feet like heroin."
  • "No need to disguise or to pretend."
  • "Tonight's the night that we begin the end."
  • "I tried, God knows, I tried."
  • "There's nothing you can do to change my mind."
  • "I don't enjoy to watch you cry."
  • "Blame me for the sorry state you're in."
  • "I love you more than any man, but something's getting in the way."
  • "I do you harm because I can for the second time today."
  • "When I get drunk, you take me home and keep me safe from harm."
  • "I ask you for another second chance, but then I drink it all away."
  • "I was so delicate when we began, so tender when I spoke your name."
  • "Now I'm nothing but a partisan to my compulsion and my shame."
  • "You know, I'm grateful, I appreciate."
  • "Then I run away to wonderland, and disappear without trace."
  • "Can't you see there's a world out there?"
  • "Don't be scared."
  • "Babe I'm gonna be your man!"
  • "And it's plain to see you were meant for me."
  • "I wanna be your toy."
  • "I've been smoking too long."
  • "I wanna turn you on."
  • "I'm only a person."
  • "Open up your heart, let me slip inside."
  • "Lie to me."
  • "Drink you pretty."
  • "My mother told me, that you're never lonely when you're laughing all the time."
  • "My father told me, that you're always lonely when they're all laughing at you."
  • "He tries to impress her, mentally undress her."
  • "Theres a look on your face I would like to knock out."
  • "All I want is to see you in terrible pain."
  • "Theres no light in your eyes and your brain is too slow."
  • "Fuck you."
  • "So fuck you anyway."
  • "Makes me sick when I hear all the shit that you say."
  • "Theres a time for us all and I think yours has been, can you please hurry up cos I find you obscene?"
  • "I cant wait for the day that you're never around, when that face isn't here and you rot underground."
  • "Your eyes are almost dead."
  • "I wanna be much more like you."
  • "I wanna take a bath with you."
  • "I wanna say I do."
  • "The way your smile lights up the room."
  • "To jealousy I'll stay immune."
  • "She's a faker, always let's me down."
  • "Don't you make me frown."
  • "I never wanted the real thing."
  • "I didn't mean it."
  • "I'm the one to blame."
  • "Did too much cocaine..."
  • "One more time for me."
  • "Put your hands in the air, and wave them like you give a fuck!"
  • "The only place you’re truly free is cosy in your dreams."
  • "We need to concentrate on more then meets the eye."
  • "Patience comes to the ugly, not me."
  • "Laughter comes to the lucky, not me."
  • "Where is my mind?"
Why Taimi is awesome~
  • [Origin of Madness – at Twisted Marionette]
  • Taimi: Hi hi hi. Are you a friend of Braham's? I am. Or rather, I will be. Soon.
  • -
  • Taimi: Braham! There you are.
  • Logan Thackeray: Somebody care to tell me why this child was on the battlefield?
  • Braham Eirsson: Hey! I'm not a child!
  • Logan Thackeray: Not you. This asuran girl. I found her out there, trying to get to Scarlet's twisted marionette. Who does she belong to?
  • Braham Eirsson: Oh. Her.
  • Taimi: Help! Help! Save me from this creepy human!
  • Logan Thackeray: It's okay. I'm a Krytan Seraph. The kid's in no danger.
  • Taimi: Braham! Don't let him take me away! Please!
  • Logan Thackeray: Are you her guardian?
  • Braham Eirsson: Who me? Wolf's teeth, no! I've never seen her before in my life.
  • Taimi: Braham, you're so mean. Can't we just go home now?
  • Logan Thackeray: Listen, buddy. I don't know what your game is, but you better get this kid to safety. She's got no business on a battlefield.
  • Braham Eirsson: What? I swear I've never seen her before in my life.
  • Braham Eirsson: Hey! Where's he going? You're not my responsibility!
  • Taimi: It's okay, Braham. You can take me home now. I live in Rata Sum.
  • Braham Eirsson: Huh? What?
  • Taimi: Where do you live? Maybe we could go there instead.
  • Braham Eirsson: No. You found your way here. You can find your way back.
  • Taimi: Fine! Here I go. By myself. Off into the big city. You'll probably never see me again, Braham.
  • Braham Eirsson: Good luck, kid.
  • -
  • Logan Thackeray: What does a little squirt like you know about Scarlet, anyway?
  • Taimi: As it so happens, I know a lot. I've been studying her for months. I came to meet her, but she didn't show up.
  • Marjory Delaqua: To meet her? Why would you want to do that?
  • Taimi: Because she's brilliant, of course. My theory is that she knows something about the dragons, and that's why she's building an army.
  • Logan Thackeray: Your theory, huh? You don't think she's just a big ol' meany?
  • Taimi: Do you always talk like a four-year-old?
  • *Burn Logan BURNNN*
  • --
  • [Edge of the Mist]
  • Braham Eirsson: What's your story anyway, Tiny? How does a little thing like you get into such big trouble?
  • Taimi: It's Taimi. And I'm a progeny prodigy. I've got important people fighting for the right to be my teacher.
  • Braham Eirsson: Important people, huh? Are they real people, or just big-eared figments of your overactive imagination?
  • Taimi: They're real, but they all want to tell me what to learn. I'd rather be like Scarlet and pick my own courses.
  • Braham Eirsson: Wolf's tail, girl! Don't be too much like Scarlet, okay? One's way too many.
  • -
  • Taimi: Braham? Are we still going to be friends when we get back?
  • Braham Eirsson: Wait—are we friends now?
  • Taimi: I think so. You don't boss me around as much as other adults. And when you ask a question, you let me answer it.
  • Braham Eirsson: Well, I'm friends with Frostbite and he can't even talk. So yes, Tiny. We'll still be friends.
  • Taimi: Not if you keep calling me "Tiny."
  • -
  • Taimi: Braham, will you tell me a story while we wait?
  • Braham Eirsson: After you ran off on me? And all the abuse you heaped on me since we got here? I get plenty of that back in Cragstead.
  • Taimi: You don't spend much time around asura, do you? We only abuse people we like. Or those we're trying to improve.
  • Braham Eirsson: Fine. I'll assume you like me. Ahem! "Once upon a time, there was a brave and handsome norn named Braham..."
  • Taimi: Aww, I've heard this one already. From you. Twice.
  • --
  • Braham Eirsson: Did you get in trouble for roaming the camp?
  • Taimi: No. Yes. Zojja gave me extra calculations as a punishment, and I never got to see Scarlet.
  • -
  • Taimi: Hey, Braham.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: You wanna hear about the new aetherphaser I invented for my golem? I modeled it after Scarlet's tech.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: It works just fine, but I have to keep adjusting the gorometer.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: I had to shave down the minious array wheel in order to get it to fit on Scruffy, but I got it.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: Next, I'm gonna make him a panmetric listening device so he can warn me in advance if someone's sneaking up on me.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: Hey, Braham.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Taimi: I like you because you're big and dumb.
  • Braham Eirsson: Uh-huh.
  • Braham Eirsson: (laugh) Shut up!
  • Taimi: (giggle)
  • --
  • [Gates of Maguuma]
  • Taimi: That structure is unstable. It would be unwise for us to go in. Scruffy's scan confirms that it won't support all our weight.
  • Taimi: According to my calculations, the most efficient combination would be you, Marjory, and Kasmeer. The rest of us can wait out here.
  • Rox: Did she just call us fat, Braham?
  • Braham Eirsson: Yup, she sure did.
  • Taimi: Facts are facts. The three of us together weigh as much as nineteen Kasmeers.
  • Kasmeer Meade: Great, I'm a unit of measurement.
  • --
  • Kasmeer Meade: That gap is too large. I can't get us across from here.
  • Taimi: Have no fear. The option to have Scruffy toss us over is still—
  • Rox: No.
  • --
  • [Prosperity’s Mysterious Room]
  • Taimi: Look, look, look! This is a historical find!
  • Marjory Delaqua: Careful, now. You'll pop a gasket.
  • Taimi: She hasn't been here in a very long time. This—oh, and that! Great glarrgh!
  • Marjory Delaqua: Language.
  • Taimi: Sorry. I didn't know you spoke ettin.
  • --
  • [Entanglement]
  • Taimi: Okay. It's all yours. Use the console to fry some Inquest.
  • Braham Eirsson: It isn't going to blow up in our faces, is it?
  • Taimi: Don't be silly. The chances are so slim as to be negligible. About..oh, fifty-three percent. I've tagged us all nonhostile.
  • --
  • Taimi: Hold on. Activating defenses.
  • Marjory Delaqua: You're absolutely sure this won't kill us?
  • Taimi: Absolutely. I'd give it a solid fifty-three percent chance.
  • Marjory Delaqua: I beg your pardon? Maybe you shouldn't—
  • -
  • Kasmeer Meade: It's...beautiful.
  • Marjory Delaqua: And we're still alive. That's a plus.
  • Taimi: Of course we're still alive. I was joking about the the fifty-three percent. It was more like seventy-eight.
  • --
  • [The Dragon’s Reach]
  • Taimi: Don't touch anything!
  • Councillor Phlunt: Progeny, do not speak to your elders in such a tone! I won't have it.
  • Taimi: I thought you'd never get here. Did you stop off at the Dead End for a pint and a pie or something?
  • -
  • Taimi: Well, Councillor Phlunt, I'm sorry to report that I've completely wasted your time and the waypoints will now be destroyed by Mordremoth.
  • Councillor Phlunt: What?
  • Taimi: Just kidding. My patent-pending waypoint recalibration device is now complete.
  • -
  • Taimi: I've checked and double-checked the settings on everything. I'm 59.6 percent certain nothing will blow up in our faces. Don't worry.
  • --
  • [Credit: GW2 Wiki]

Anonymous said:
Could you please do something with Scott and ‘guardian’?

okay so it’s the superpower AU because I am trash and it stretches very far to include the use of the term guardian and ends abruptly and also shame on me. anyway. don’t think about it too hard. remember that I am a dork.

Superpower AU Premise // (superpower_au/chrono)

Superpower AU - Part 1

Scott can’t remember who codenamed him Guardian, but it seems to have stuck. According to Gordon it was that or “Smother Hen” so probably he’s dodged a bullet there. Scott’s standing on top of some nameless office building in downtown Taipei with John, one hand around his younger brother’s ankle. Scott’s not sure why the height of the building has anything to do with it, but then, he’s not the family pyschic.

No one’s quite figured out the floating either, but if John’s not in the present, then he’s probably at least three or four feet off the ground. He can’t seem to help it.

Keep reading

sammiesamness  asked:

Scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara and I'm thinking it'll work with a Dean or Sam Winchester reader insert so I'll let you pick which one

Here are you my dear, I do hope you like it. The thought just popped into my head for Dean.

Originally posted by deangifsdaily

Scars

Summary: You’d always hide behind long sleeves shirts, jeans anything to cover up the scars under nether.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Body imagine, self-hate, slight mention of past abuse

Why had you forgot to do laundry, I mean really a thing so important like that. Course it didn’t help that you’d just got back from a case three states over hunting a nest of vampires. Most of your clothing smelly or blood soaked. Shaking your head, you tried to pull the sleeves down on your shirt to cover the thin healed scars marring your limbs. Imperfections in this world could have devastating results something you learned a long time ago. It’s why you kept your body covered most of the time, why you shied away when Sam or Dean tried to help patch you up. You’d learned how to take care of yourself so long ago its second nature to you now.  

            Slowly making your way down to the kitchen hoping to make your way back to your room, before one of the boys spot you. Lucky wouldn’t be on your side though not today anyway. It didn’t matter that you’d been hunting with the Winchesters for going on five years now, having helped them through so much, saving the world so many times, you still felt self-conscious. Plus they’ve never seen the whole of the scars you hide, never knew the troubles you’d been through as a child and hunter.

“Mornin’ Y/N,” came Dean’s deep barely awake voice from the coffee pot.

Holding in the eep that tried to work its way from your throat, noticing he hadn’t turned around, hoping he wouldn’t. You didn’t want the man you secretly crushed on to see you like this, “Mornin.”

“Somethin’ wrong princess?” still standing in front the small table, leaning one hand on the hard wood trying to wake himself up from the last pain in the ass case they had.

“Fine, fine,” you mutter grabbing a bowel, cereal, spoon and lastly the milk trying to hurry.

To no avail, “Hey you’re wearing short sleeves?”

No answer comes, as you hurry to pour your breakfast and leave. You don’t hear Dean walk closer, seeing the scars tracing your arm. His eyes taking them in, wondering how he could’ve missed something like this.

“When did these happen?” curiosity in his deep voice.

Shaking your head, your throat tight. You knew of the scars that littered both Sam and Dean, in your mind it’s different there men, supposed to have them. Women found them sexy and desirable. But on you their just reminders of pain and torture.

Seeing you shrink back away from him, Dean tries to come up with what to say. Sam’s better at stuff like this not him. “Y/N is this why you wear long sleeves all the time?”

Nodding, you don’t turn to Dean. Not wanting to see the pity in his forest green eyes, pity you’d seen in so many sets all your life. “Childhood wasn’t the best,” is all you offer him.

Taking your left arm in his hand, he traces the pattern till it reached your elbow disappearing under the shirt sleeve. “There beautiful actually.”

Head whipped up to stare at Dean like he’s lost his mind. “You need glasses in your old age Winchester.”

Shaking his head, Dean steps back a few paces, raising his shirt to show you the various scars, depressed bullet wounds, puckered knife wounds, and assorted other wounds most that have healed over except the ones he got from the vamp nest on the last case. You suck in air, not just because of the healed wounds but the expanse of tanned taut flesh bared to your eyes. Cursing yourself for even coming up to the kitchen this morning to be both teased by Dean’s handsomeness and tormented by the pity that would show in his eyes the moment you’d look into his.

“We all have them Y/N part of being a hunter.”

Shaking your head, “For you maybe, but me,” sighing, picking up your bowel and starting towards the door. “Most men wouldn’t give me a second look with these ugly things and there not just on my arms Dean I have them everywhere.”

“Have what everywhere?” a sweat dripping Sam questioned walking into the kitchen noticing the slight tension between you and Dean. “What’d Dean do this time?”

“Really Sammy, why is it always my fault?”

“Cause it usually is,” Sam shot back catching the fact that you’re still trying to edge from the room and that you’re not wearing long sleeves. “Forget laundry this week?”

“Something like that.” you shot back barely turning to look over at the younger Winchester, still trying to tug the sleeve down hoping he won’t notice.

“If it wasn’t your fault Dean then what were y’all talking about?”

Turning quickly, eyes pleading with Dean not to say anything. “Scars.”

Lifting a brow as he walks towards the fridge to pull a cold bottle of water out, downing half in one go and wiping swear from his forehead. “What about them?”

“Y/N has them.”

“We all do,” Sam shot back looking over at you.

“Not the same,” you growl marching over to the sink to pour out your mush cereal. “Men can have scars, there ugly on women.”

Snorting, Sam taking the few steps to your side finally seeing the white lines on your arms, “Whoever told you that line of bull needs to be shot.”

“Would you two stop messing with me on this,” you explode gripping the counter in front of you. “I don’t need your pity,” you push away trying to stock off but Dean grabs your arm.

“Sweetheart, we’re telling you’re the truth here. To us you’re beautiful, scars and all. Your family for Christ sake,” his voice has a growl to it, sincerity shining in those forest eyes and something else you fail to pick up on.

“Dean’s right Y/N any man who doesn’t look past these scars and see what a beautiful, caring sweet woman you are is a fool and deserves to be knocked upside his head. It doesn’t matter what’s on the outside,” placing a warm palm just under your left breast where your heart beats quickly. “Only matter’s what’s in here and,” reaching up to tap your head. “Here.”

Shaking your head, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, “You can say that all you want Sam but you don’t have to live with these. See the looks on people’s faces when I actually do wear short sleeves. I know their judging, asking themselves what happened. Why do I have them? To this world beauty is truly only skin deep.”

Pulling away, you don’t see the flashes of shock companied with sorrow for you, never knowing you’d been going through this. Never questioning it either, just accepting the fact that you were cold natured and that’s why you wore the long sleeves.

“We should’ve asked a long time ago,” Dean stated running a hand through his thick brown hair staring after your retreating form.

“Maybe you should’ve spoke up a long time ago,” Sam countered giving him a meaning full look before heading out of the kitchen leaving Dean with his thoughts.

Midafternoon finds Dean at your door, phone in hand, he knocks twice waiting, “Y/N open up.”

You’d been lying in bed for most of the afternoon having gotten some of your clothes washed, now sporting a black flannel shirt trying to stay away from both Winchesters, especially Dean. Damn near jumping off your bed when he knocked, you think about ignoring him but don’t.

Opening the door, “What do you…” you don’t get to say more as music starts to play.

Music that’s not something Dean would normally listen to. You go from looking at his cell phone which played the beautiful song to Dean, who just smiled at you, mouthing the words, ‘Just listen.’


She just wants to be beautiful
She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits
She craves attention, she praises an image
She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor
Oh, she don’t see the light that’s shining
Deeper than the eyes can find it, maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away
Cause covergirls don’t cry after their face is made


But there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
Oh, oh, oh
Oh-oh, oh, oh
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

She has dreams to be an envy, so she’s starving
You know, covergirls eat nothing
She says “beauty is pain and there’s beauty in everything”
“What’s a little bit of hunger?”
“I can go a little while longer,” she fades away
She don’t see her perfect, she don’t understand she’s worth it
Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface, oh, oh
So to all the girls that’s hurting, let me be your mirror
Help you see a little bit clearer the light that shines within


There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful


No better you than the you that you are
No better you than the you that you are
No better life than the life we’re living
No better life than the life we’re living
No better time for your shine, you’re a star
No better time for your shine, you’re a star
Oh, you’re beautiful, oh, you’re beautiful


And there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful

 

Once it’s over, he slides his phone into the front pocket of his jeans, “You want to know someone who’d love you for your scars I would,” capturing your face between his rough callused hands. “You’re beautiful to me inside and out. These scars,” his eyes drop down to your arms then back to your face. “There only part of who you are not all of it.”

“Dean,” breath caught in your throat you’re not sure exactly what he means by his statement or the song. “I thought you didn’t listen to music like that.”

Deep throaty chuckle leaves his lips, “I’m trying to tell you I love you and you focus on the song. Way to make a guy feel loved Y/N.”

Eyes wide, staring, “You…” swallowing hard. “Like a sister right?”

Lips pressed against your soft and slightly chapped, moving gently, tasting, teasing you at first. A peck, then another, followed by a harder kiss that has you softly moaning and participating. Arms wrapping around his neck guiding the two of you closer.

“That answer your question beautiful?” grinning, his lips still against your.

“I think I’ll need more of an answer to be sure.”

“I’m happy to oblige,” repressing his mouth to your in another heated kiss.  

The topic of your scars never came up again not between you and Dean anyway or you and Sam. Some people may look at your funny since you’d taken to wearing short sleeves but, Dean would always be around to drive away any thoughts that would try to cloud your mind on the subject.     

anonymous asked:

Hi again Narry Warrior🙋🏻🙋🏻 could you make a draft for all the lovers of drama narry? Of harry entering the cafe where his bf (Niall) works with his new "friend" and Niall asks him if he could wait for him until his shift ends (15 mins) and harry is like: no, sorry we have to run, maybe later? so niall gets super jealous and this is happening more often and often so niall stops "bothering" him💔 but happy ending pls!! It's just we love your writing so muchhh!

The first time it happens, it’s not that big of a deal. Not really. Harry has plans, and Niall’s still at work – even if his shift is over in about 20 minutes – and it’s not like Harry has to include him. Sure, they’re dating and they’re practically living together, given the fact that Harry rarely ever spends time at his own flat, but Harry’s allowed to have friends outside of their group of friends. He’s allowed to spend time with those friends, without Niall. He’s allowed to have a life – entitled to it, even.

Niall isn’t jealous. Not really. He just…wishes that Harry had told him he had plans, is all. (He also wishes that Harry had at least bothered to introduce him to his new friend, but he isn’t jealous.)

x

The second time it happens, Niall’s making breakfast. There’s no occasion, or even a specific reason, he just feels like making breakfast, might even serve it to Harry in bed if the lazy arse doesn’t get himself up soon. Besides, between school and work, it’s rare that they’re both around long enough to even have breakfast together and, well, Niall’s not exactly above taking advantage this morning.

He’s just placed the last piece of eggy bread in the pan when there’s a knock at his door. Once upon a time, he might have thought it weird considering he lives in an apartment complex, but he and Harry have both made friends with a couple blokes down the hall, so needless to say it’s no longer that out of the ordinary for one (or both) of them to show up unannounced.

Except it’s neither Louis nor Liam. It’s Harry’s new friend, Xander; a bloke from one of Harry’s classes.

“Uh, hey,” Niall greets, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Hey, uh, Harry buzzed me in.”

“Oh,” Niall murmurs; he didn’t even know that Harry was awake. “Um, come in.”

As if on cue, Harry comes barreling down the hallway, yanking a t-shirt down over his lightly toned tummy. “Hey, Ni, Xander’s gonna be up soo-” he cuts himself off upon seeing Xander with Niall. “That was fast.”

“You have plans today or something?” Niall asks, though he already knows the answer to that question given the camera bag slung over Harry’s shoulder.

“Yeah, didn’t I tell you? We’re going to shoot pictures in Hyde Park,” Harry replies as he grabs his jacket out of the closet by the door.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“Oh,” Harry murmurs, looking guilty. “Shit, Ni, I’m sorry. I thought I had, and we have this project-”

“It’s okay,” Niall says. The smile on his face is fake, but it’s better than nothing. “Go. Do your thing.”

The fact that Niall burns the eggy bread goes unnoticed by both Harry and Xander as they head out the door – and Niall, having lost his appetite, doesn’t even bother to restart.

x

It becomes a regular thing after that; Harry blowing Niall off – and not in a good way.

Niall doesn’t think he does it on purpose though. In fact, he knows he doesn’t. It’s just…Harry being Harry.

He tends to latch on to people, is the thing. Before Xander it was Jeff, and before Jeff it was Louis. He befriends them so hard that it’s like he forgets about everyone else, if only for a while, until the ‘honey moon phase’ (aka the excitement of a brand new friendship) fizzles out. The only difference, with Xander, is that Harry and Niall are dating now. And Niall thinks it should be different. It was one thing when Harry and Niall were just friends, but they’re together now and so it should be different, right? Or, maybe Niall just has to wait it out – like everyone else.

So Niall tries not to let it get to him, tries not to take it personally. It’s just – it’s hard, and it hurts sometimes, and he tries to ignore it, truly. It’s just…hard.

x

It’s when they’re all out at the pub – Niall, Harry, Xander, Louis, Liam, and even Zayn, having pints and singing karaoke, when Niall sees it; the way Xander looks at Harry.

Niall’s been hanging back in the booth with Zayn, catching up on each other’s lives since the dark haired lad fucked off several months prior, watching Harry – Harry, who’s drunk and dancing and shouting lyrics rather than singing them – through the crowd when he catches a glimpse of Xander doing the same. It’s not that Xander’s watching him, but rather the way Xander’s looking at him. He looks at Harry the way Niall feels about Harry.

And maybe it shouldn’t be a big deal. Maybe it shouldn’t mean anything.

But it sure as hell feels like it means something – even if Harry comes home with Niall, and kisses Niall, and begs Niall to make love to him before promptly passing out in the middle of Niall’s bed.

x

“He’s in love with you.”

Niall doesn’t mean for it to turn into a fight. It’s not his intention for it to be anything more than a simple conversation.

“He’s not in love with me.”

“He is, Harry”

“He’s not – we’re just friends, Niall. He’s not in love with me.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I’m telling you, Haz, he’s in love with you.”

Harry shakes his head. “You’re just jealous. You always get jealous when I make new friends.”

Niall blinks, feels like he’s just been slapped in the face despite the fact that he knows it’s something Harry would never do.

Harry seems to notice immediately, moving forward to cup Niall’s face. “I didn’t- That came out wrong-”

“No, I think it came out just right,” Niall mutters, turning away from him. “You know what, yeah – I’ve been jealous in the past. But I never said anything because I knew it would pass – because I know you, and I know that you get carried away sometimes. But this is different, Harry.”

“What – it’s not-”

“It is, because he’s in love with you!” Niall shouts. “And he’s probably trying to come between us, and you’re letting him!”

Harry blinks. “You’re way out of context, Niall.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Haz. You probably don’t see it because maybe you aren’t looking back or maybe you don’t know what it looks like for someone to be in love with you – but I do. And he’s in love with you.”

“So what if he is? I’m not in love with him, so so what if he is?”

Niall’s brow furrows. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“No, I don’t get it. Whether he is in love with me or not – and he’s not – I don’t get why it’s such a big deal if you trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Harry,” Niall sighs. “I do, it’s just-”

“It’s just what?”

“When was the last time you and I spent time alone together? Not including today, because I more or less had to fucking beg you to stay in with me. When was the last time you didn’t blow me off to hang out with Xander?”

Harry sighs. “Niall-”

“You know, I don’t even know what’s worse; the fact that you can’t remember, or that I don’t either,” Niall mutters, chuckling humourlessly.

“I didn’t – I didn’t even realize, Niall. I-I’m sorry-”

“If anything, the fact that you didn’t even realize makes it even worse.”

Harry opens his mouth and closes it once, twice, before he finally speaks. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I guess that makes two of us, so I think you should go,” Niall says quickly, before he changes his mind.

“What? Niall-”

“Go make plans with Xander, he’d love that.”

Harry glares at him. “That’s not fair.”

“No, you know what isn’t fair, Harry? Waiting around for your boyfriend to come around, or at least pick up the phone to call you himself – but knowing he won’t because he’s too busy with someone else.”

“Niall-”

“At least now you don’t have to worry about me always asking what you’re up to.”

Harry’s brow crinkles with a mixture of confusion and concern. “Wh-what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?”

Niall shrugs. “I dunno. I’m just – done with whatever the fuck is going on with you and Xander. Maybe when you’re done with him too in a month or two we can talk.”

“Niall-”

“Just, please,” Niall whispers, pushing him gently towards the front door. “Go.”

x

Less than 12 hours later, at least according to the time on Niall’s phone when he reaches for it, there’s a knock at his door – and given the time, 3:07 a.m., there’s only one person that could possibly be standing on the other side of his front door.

The knocking quickly becomes constant, consistent in that Niall can no longer ignore it and hope that Harry will just turn around and leave. Niall’s halfway down the hallway, when Harry calls out to him; he sounds drunk.

“Jesus Christ, Harry,” Niall mutters, yanking the brunet inside the minute he opens the door. “You’re gonna wake everybody else up too, what’s your problem?”

Harry pouts. “You weren’t answering.”

Niall sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. Harry’s cheeks are flushed, and his eyes look bleary and tired, and his hair is a mess – all signs that the boy has been drinking. “What are you doing here?”

“You were right,” Harry hiccups. “Do you have water? I think I might throw up.”

And mad as he is at Harry, for many things – among them: waking Niall up at arse o'clock in the morning, drunk off his arse, Niall guides him with a hand on the small of his back down the hall to the bathroom. He rubs Harry’s back and holds his hair, wets a face cloth with cold water to put over the back of Harry’s neck and gets a tall glass of ice water from the fridge. And then he sits with Harry, on the bathroom floor, Harry slumped over with his back against Niall’s chest, until Harry’s just about sober. (He doesn’t even want to look at the time when they retire to Niall’s bedroom.)

“You were right,” Harry says again, as Niall hands him a clean pair of boxers.

“Harry, we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“He’s in love with me.”

“Harry-”

“I asked him to go out for drinks with me, because I was upset over the fight we had and I was telling him about it; telling him you were crazy, or something, for thinking that he could be in love with me and complaining because it feels like you don’t trust me and crying because I didn’t want to lose you – and then he kissed me.”

Niall blinks, and his heart jumps into his throat.

“Noth-nothing happened, Niall, I swear. I pushed him away, and I yelled at him, and he told me he is in love with me and that he knows I have feelings for him too – but I don’t, Ni, I promise I don’t. I just – I thought we were friends, and I know I get carried away sometimes but I don’t mean to, and I thought he thought we were just friends too, but you were right, and I’m a fucking idiot, Niall.”

Niall crawls onto the bed next to Harry and kneels beside him, taking his hands into his face. “Shh, no, pet, you’re not an idiot-”

“I am, though,” Harry sniffs, eyes wet with tears. “I didn’t see it. You saw it, but I didn’t see it-”

“I never expected you to see it, Haz,” Niall whispers, pressing their foreheads together. “Sometimes people just don’t see the way other people look at them. I just…wanted you to believe me.”

“Which makes me even more of an idiot, because I didn’t, did I? I just accused you of being jealous, and-”

“Well, I was jealous, to be fair.”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot,” Harry mutters.

“Haz-”

Harry leans forward, captures Niall’s lips in a soft, yet desperate kiss. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs when he pulls back. “I’m sorry I kept blowing you off. I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t want you around. I’m sorry if you ever doubted me-”

“Shhh, Harry,” Niall whispers, running a thumb over the brunet’s bottom lip. “I never doubted you. Ever. I just…I missed you. I missed you, is what it came down to – and then I saw the way he looked at you, and you didn’t believe me, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, and I forgive you. Just…believe me next time, yeah?”

“There won’t be a next time, I won’t let there be,” Harry murmurs, leaning forward to bury his face in Niall’s neck.

Niall hums as he lays back, cuddling Harry against him. He knows Harry means it, knows Harry will try – and that’s something, at least.

“I told him I can’t be friends with him anymore, just so you know.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s true though, I can’t be. Not when he’s in love with me and I’m in love with you. It would never work.”

And, well, if that doesn’t warm Niall’s heart.

“I love you.”

Niall runs a hand through Harry’s hair, and the boy is already asleep. “I love you too,” he says anyway.

I'll heal the hole in your heart - chapter 2/?

Chapter 2/?

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A/N: Warnings and other informations are to be found in chapter 1.

Summary about chapter 2: (They’re 14-15 years old) Dan and Phil have to go on a school trip with all their classmates. Dan starts feeling bad at night and Phil has to help him.

Words: 5.936

I’ll heal the hole in your heartchapter 2

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