Interruptions by a Clown
So this is terrible but I like it.
Here is the summary~~
Jon and Damian have been happily dating for a couple months now.
There is only one problem.The fucking Joker
Tagging @fishfingersandjellybabies cause I’ve tagged her in the other two and I think she might want to know what’s in store for our two dorks next.
Honestly Damian is wondering if he should just decapitate the man. He has killed far too many, murdered Todd, and now-
Now he is interrupting Damian’s dates with Jon.
Damian likes his dates with Jon.
This is is the fifth time in the last two months, and Damian is sick of it.
Damian wants, badly, to simply take his sword and stab him in chest, purposely missing vital organs and watching bleed out because he is so frustrated.
Its like the Joker has some kind of objection of Damian’s relationship.
Damian thinks that Joker should mind his own damn business and leave his love life alone.
Alas, Damian was called out from his lovely movie date with Jon, and while Jon understood-he himself had been called out once and he is a superhero, a fact of which Damian is eternally grateful for because he doesn’t have to explain his actions-Damian is mad as hell .
His Beloved has been looking forward to that movie for months and Damian got them first viewings and Jon was so excited for this, and Damian was too.
(They both share a appreciation for heart warming animals films.)
That, and Damian is so fucking tired of seeing that sad little smile Jon gives him when he must leave.
This is, Damian reflects as he pulls on his boots, a perfect opportunity to show Joker exactly why he should stop interrupting his dates.
(Tim shivers from his position on a rooftop, a sinking feeling in his stomach that says the Demon Brat is Up To Something and Tim is immediately looking around for the little hellion he calls a brother to lunge from the shadows and attack.
Tim may be paranoid and sleep-deprived.)
Damian finds the Joker easily enough, and Lady Luck-Damian has to stop and roll his eyes; clearly he has been spending too much time with Grayson-is on Damian’s side today, as an Father is across the city.
Damian grins darkly from the rafters, a flash of white in the shadows, before he leaps down on Jokers back, green covered feet connecting with a truly horrid shade of purple.
“ Why is it,” Damian hisses as he hangs Joker from his ankles over Gotham Bay, “That you always break out of prison on the days I have my dates with Superboy, Joker.”
Joker breaks out into giggles, his laughter echoing in the abandoned ship yard. “Oh, Bird Boy, for no reason.”
“Forgive me for not believing you.”
Damian wants to kill this man so badly.
It is not a unwelcome feeling.
Joker breaks into a even wider grin. “You got me there!”
Damian throws a batarang at his head; it lands a mere centimeter from his ear. “ Tell me .”
Joker sighs dramatically, swinging back and forth in his chains. “ Well , you see…”
“Oh for fucks sake.” Damian snaps, pulling the Joker closer, his whited out eyes glaring harshly. “Just tell me so that I can beat the shit out of you so I can go back to my date.”
“It’s because he didn’t ask me permission!”
Damian stops. He closes his eyes, clicks his tongue once, twice, and opens them again.
“You do realize that I kissed him first, don’t you?” Damian says slowly, as though he’s speaking to a toddler.
Joker gasps, as though this news is scandalous. “ What? You? But why didn’t you ask me if you could date?” He sounds bewildered and Damian just wants him to shut up so he could go cuddle with jon.
“That’s it, you’re grounded!”
The sentence draws Damian from his day dreams of curling into Jon’s side with a book and Jon reading aloud the words with silly accents, and he stares at the psychopath hanging in front of him. “… What .”
“You’re grounded! You’re not allowed to date yet!” Joker cries, tears falling to the water below.
“…No. Leave us be.”
Damian drops the Joker into the sea still restrained.
Joker will survive. He’s survived worse.
Still, Damian can’t help but hope that he won’t.
(He ends up missing the rest of the movie and he makes it up by custom ordering Jon a silver necklace that has a shard of a sapphire crystal attached to the end.
Authentic, of course.
“Matches your eyes.” He tells Jon seriously as he slips it over his Beloved’s head. “There’s no other like it.”
Jon simply laughs and gives him a kiss, telling him that he loves it.
Damian is happy because he made Jon happy.)
(Dick is taking pictures, Tim is slightly green, and Jason is complaining about how disgustingly cute they are from behind the corner.
Alfred and Bruce stand off to the side; Alfred is smiling and Bruce is stiff.
Damian is distracted by Jon being Jon and so doesn’t notice then.)
This keeps on until Jon is tired of it and he tags along.
(“ Leave us alone for God’s dake. I want to be able to finish reading a book with my boyfriend. ”)
Joker eventually gets the message.
Sure, it had to be done with some laser eyes and swords, and Kryptonian strength, but it was done.
Thankfully, as both Jon and Damian were getting rather irritable.
Nothing good comes from that.
(Bruce and Clark did try to stop the duo from seeing each other as a punishment.
Clark lasted a day of sulking, complaining, and smartass replies before giving in.
Bruce lived with a pouty, huffy, extra aggressive, destroyer of Batman gadgets, and snarky Damian for three days before surrendering.
Neither parents has tried to do such a action again.
It’s just not worth it.)
Somehow, someway, the Jon and Damian manage to be most adorable pair inside and outside of costume.
There are fanfictions about them.
There are offers for interviews just so that shows have the preteen couple so that their ratings will go up.
(The media goes crazy when they saw the new necklace.
Is is promise ring? Is it symbolic?
Is it a show of of love from the youngest Wayne?)
Damian and Jon are both blissfully unaware of these events and continue to be the delightful dating pair they are.
The Joker may not like not, nor Bruce and Tim, and the jealous girls at the two’s schools hate it, but nobody can deny it.
Jon and Damian, Superboy and Robin, make the most darling couple ever.