Grand High Trolls Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Notes for the Steve Rogers autobiography On va voir
See, Steve likes pretending he's always sweet and squeaky clean (with glasses! Y'wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would ya?) and he’ll reel you in with the innocent face and the “Aw, shucks, happy to help” manner, which works because about 80 percent of the time, it’s genuine and sincere.
The rest of it is sheer epic trollery because Steve will always be that punk Irish shitekicker from Brooklyn and he will never pass up a good opportunity for trolldom.
Now Bucky used to go for the dapper and suave look - because he can be a bit of a peacock back in the day and also because he was deliberately trying to emulate Tyrone Power, who was Steve’s poorly-hidden Hollywood star crush. According to everyone in the neighborhood, Bucky looked a lot like Ty so Bucky was willing to milk that every chance he got.
These days, Bucky prefers a different style and if it makes him look like the “bad boy” compared to Steve’s “innocent” persona, then all the better. He’s wondering how long it will take for people to notice that when the bar brawls happen, it’s usually Bucky wading in to be Steve’s backup. He’s not the one starting the fights, no sir. He just finishes them. It’s a bad habit, he knows, but it’s hard to shake.
(Well, there was that one time in Bastogne with one of the 101st Airborne’s replacement fellas mouthing off about Steve just being a “fucking fake movie-star soldier” and Bucky never did take kindly to that. His fellow Sergeant Lip was a swell fella, though - took that rookie aside and Explained Things after Bucky put the Fear of God into the idiot and his buddies. Seriously. Steve. Stevie. Baby. It was the one time!)
Unfortunately, poor Tony Stark is a perpetual victim of Barnes and Rogers Trollery, especially when Tony makes constant remarks about how Steve could’ve survived in the Paleolithic age, what with having to worry about dinosaurs eating his scrawny ass.
Now Bucky here will protest that Steve always had a delectable ass, bitty or big, accompanied by a pat on said ass, which will make Steve blush or a leer, at which point Tony will start screaming for the Brain Bleach.
“Sometimes I miss that bitty ass of yours, though, Stevie,” Bucky will say wistfully.
“AUGH! MOAR BRAIN BLEACH!”
A digression about Tony. Tony, like practically every person in the U.S. of A had a crush on Steve Rogers during his elementary years. This crush would later transfer to Bucky Barnes during his teenage years. And it’s understood that once you’re past 21, crushing on both Stupidly Attractive Nonagenarians is a given.
This is not an exaggeration. Clint Barton is willing to testify to this as well as Phil Coulson. Skye even blogged about it once. This is a fact.
Natasha will never admit that it took her a while to see past Steve’s admittedly sweeter exterior. She did, however, punch him in the shoulder once she figured it out.
“You couldn’t have clued me in, Rogers?!” she demanded.
Steve pretended to look hurt. “I only just pretend to know everything, as someone once told me. Doesn’t mean that I do.”
She gives him her best unimpressed glare, because it’s the only way she’s going to stop herself from giggling like a little girl and he knows it, damn him. “I want in.”
He laughs. “You already are.”
Clint appreciates Epic Trollery and is always taking notes.
Bruce generally tries to save Tony from himself whenever he can. Hulk participates in the Trollage. Hulk like Captain. Captain and Soldier funny. Captain and Soldier also put Fear of God in Mean General Ross. Hulk entertained. Hulk wants to watch Lilo and Stitch with Captain and Soldier. Lilo and Stitch Hulk’s favorite movie.
Soldier is Stitch. Soldier understands Hulk. Captain is Lilo. Captain says Hulk is ohana too. Hulk like that. Hulk will Troll.
It must be noted that Fox News is still reeling from Thor’s “revelation” that Steve Rogers is one of his semi-divine descendants from an ancient affair with a Midgardian Viking female. Thor had identified her as Freya, daughter to Hiccup Horrendous Dragonrider and Astrid Hofferson.
Personally, Thor is wondering how on earth Fox News missed the obvious clue there. But then again, The Daily Show segment that had Jon Stewart gleefully exposing the Trollery after a solid six months of “Steve Rogers Thorson” being a trending thing on Fox News, with various speculations of Steve being a demigod and History Channel’s Ancient Aliens program gleefully milking this for all its worth was priceless and epic.
Apparently, nobody on Fox and History Channel was a part of the HTTYD fandom.
Then again, it probably didn’t help when Jane announced her pregnancy and Steve got all excited about his new “sister or brother."
Rhodey would like to state for the record that he is the only sane Avenger. Yes, really. Sam was officially disqualified for the title once he joined in on the fun regarding Steve Rogers "Thorson."
Sam son of Wil would like to state for the record that the Super Soldiers aren’t the only ones with the Unalienable Right to Trollage.
I mentioned therapy trolling earlier but here is the extended discussion and explanation of the topic.
To condense it a little a therapy troll will generally only express “concern” for your mental well being as a way to delegitimize you or somehow place themselves in a superior position, and if someone does that to you I would seriously evaluate whether such a person is someone worth dialoging with
This is one of the most common types of trolling within the metaphysical community at large; especially so in subsets such as the godspouse tags, the otherkin tags, and candid/open astral and spirit workers who write extensively on their topics of choice.