Episode 1: The Adventure Begins

I was sitting at home one day thinking of fun things to write about. A few ideas came to mind such as how to make Spam sculptures (yes the meat product), how one might put Humpty Dumpty back together again after his divorce from bacon, or how to locate the ugliest sweater in the Bay Area. After attempting to blog about the first two I settled on the journey to find the ugliest sweater.

The mission will be called Ugly Sweater Adventures. Codenmane: U.S.A.

Then I pondered… Who would be up to the task of judging such a contest of brute ugliness? I tweeted Madonna about it but she didn’t respond so I chose all of you to be the judges.

Each week I will find an ugly sweater. Then, each week you will vote out an ugly sweater (via comments) until we finally find the ugliest. Simple as that. You are going to want to keep checking throughout the week to see more picture of the ugliness and some other cool posts.

So I figured I’d start in the most obvious place… a thrift store. I began by visiting Out of the Closet in the Castro District of San Francisco. 

I found racks upon racks of used clothes as I walked into the musky store. As I shuffled thru the racks I found some possible contenders but I thought they were just too wearable. 

I began to lose hope. Are there no more ugly sweaters in the world? Are all the hipsters hoarding them? Don’t grandmas give these out as birthday presents anymore?

Suddenly I flipped through a blue sweater and hidden behind it I found what appeared to be a dead opossum. It wasn’t for a few seconds that I realized it was actually a sweater.


Check it out below. It is striped with shades of gray. The sweater also has green, red, and blue lined designs throughout. It’s embroidered with a pink letter G. Any guesses as to what it stands for?

What are your initial thoughts? Is this mission impossible?

I’ll post more detailed pictures of the sweater in the next few posts so come back and check ‘em out.


P.S. Can you tell I’m a professional photographer?

I’m going to need all of your help to find the ugliest sweater in America. You can go to the submit page to send me any pictures or adventures of your ugly sweaters. You can even send me stuff relating to anything I write about (i.e. Humpy Dumpty, Spam, dead opossums). If it is worthy I will feature it on this blog.

You can also send me requests or questions at the ask me anything page.

And finally you can tell all your friends to follow me. I’m all over the interwebs.