the only tolerable parts of these past three months have been the moment before i remember that he’s gone. the instant i have the thought that he might be out there texting me to hang out, or curled up in bed watching golden girls, maybe burning holes on the back of his t-shirt in the shape of a skull, or plonking away on his terribly out of tune piano; it’s over in a flash.
but just at the spark of that thought, it’s gone. i’m pummeled by a pillowcase of bricks to the chest and it hits me at full force. he’s gone. i can’t even really wrap my head around it, that i’ll never see him again.
he’s gone. three months.
best friend, soulmate. i will love you till the end of time.