then why is exposing them to different kinds of love even an issue

This is gonna be rambling and out of sorts but like. I want to put out my stance as a trans sga ace person and I’m sure there’s been plenty of people who have said this more eloquently than me but:

If you aren’t trans or sga you aren’t part of the LGBT community. Like, plain and simple as that.

I’m going to start by saying that when I was 14 I thought I was aroace and I came out to my mom and told her I probably wasnt ever going to want to have a relationship. She reacted bad. Like legit screaming fight and calling me a sinner bad. It was some of the most ridiculous bullshit I’d ever been exposed to. And it sucked and it hurt that she didn’t understand and even tho I’ve moved away from that identity, it still sucks to remember that moment. And this is serious shit that needs to be addressed, aroace people do have a lot of interpersonal stigma that needs to be talked about and remedied.

But see. That’s the key difference. Aroace issues are interpersonal, not societal. And the aroace community has very different goals from LGBT people as a result.

Aroace community initiatives are all about Visibility and Education. And those are noble goals, giving people access to this knowledge is great, but for LGBT people the kind of laser focus on Visibility isn’t great.

LGBT people are hypervisible. Trans women get mocked in media constantly, gay men and lesbians are stereotyped and demonized out the wazoo, everyone Knows we’re here. We don’t have a visibility issue.

We’re busy focusing on fighting the societal laws that literally restrict our freedoms. Because at the end of the day if you’re not an sga ace person, you’re not going to walk into an apartment complex with your spouse and be denied a home by a homophobic leasing agent. You’re not going to propose to the person you love and then have a baker refuse to make you a wedding cake because they believe you’re such an abomination that they think getting money from you is a sin. You’re not going to walk down the street holding your partner’s hand and have to fear for your life. You’re not going to tell your co-workers about your spouse and face social isolation, harassment, possibly being fired. You’re not going to be sent to conversion therapy specifically for your orientation and tortured until you’re too afraid to express your love anymore. You’re not going to be refused the right to donate blood.

If youre not a trans ace person, you’re not going to be stopped on your way to the bathroom and sexually harassed about your “real gender.” You’re not going to be denied work. You’re not going to be forced against your will to identify as a gender you are not.

There are no anti-ace laws. Theres no mandate to have sex or be in relationships. There are social pressures, YES, and I’m not denying that. And social pressures suck. But what you’re dealing with is fundamentally different from sga & trans experiences.

The thing about being ace is that it really is more of an interpersonal than professional disclosure. If someone irl asked me about my partners I’d have to talk about my boyfriends. I wouldn’t mention my level of sexual attraction or engagement because that’s not what was asked or what is socially appropriate to disclose. My boyfriends know I’m acespec because it’s relevant to our relationship, my boss would not.

Aromanticism is a mildly different story, because this is when you would reveal, “oh, I’m not in a relationship, I’m not really interested in them.” This could be met mostly with confusion, misunderstanding, disbelief, jokes, or “it’s a phase"s. Which all suck! They do and they’re issues that need to be addressed and dealt with, but once more they’re fundamentally different from the concerns sga people have to deal with when bringing their orientations into the professional realm.

Aro/ace people are perfectly valid, memeatic as that term has become. These are legitimate identities with definitely legitimate issues. But the facts are that the aroace community has vastly different priorities from the LGBT community and this is why they are fundamentally separate.

LGBT spaces and resources shouldn’t be expended in a direction that takes focus away from actual LGBT issues like the ones discussed above. Aroace people need to rally together and get their own resources in shape so they can create a more focused and targeted attempt to do what they want to accomplish. Because tugging at LGBT resources and insisting on including cishet aces, whose experiences are so fundamentally different from trans sga folks’, in LGBT spaces is detrimental to all of us in the long run.

And all the sitting around flinging insults at LGBT people and comparing them to bigots or their oppressors and being disgusted by LGBT people empowering themselves through displays of affection that they’re demonized for in every other circle just kinda proves the rift that exists between these communities and how much their priorities differ.

Anyways I’m done that was a lot of text

anonymous asked:

Hello, for my one and only soul, could I get Dans 20th birthday where Phil waited to have The Full Sex™ with Dan because he didn't want to be that creep that bangs a teenager?

can you write a bit where phil’s always been rlly loving and soft and vanilla and dan says “harder” like 38291928 times and phil keeps being gentle af but then dan like looks up at phil and says “h a r d e r .” in like a “sex” voice and phil just fickin loses it and p o u n d s him into the mattress and also detailed orgasms thank you so much bby

Plus dirty talk. If you have problems getting past the cut on mobile, open in your phone browser.

There isn’t much competition when it comes to Dan’s top three best birthdays. Now, his top three worst, that’s another story – so many of them have been so downright awful it’s hard for him to choose. There was that time in Kindergarten when he’d had a barbeque at the local park and a freak storm had blown through, tearing down their gazebo and knocking his Winnie the Pooh cake to the ground. Or his ninth birthday, when his cousin sprayed him with Poundland silly string, which had given him a severe allergic reaction and he ended up spending the remainder of his party in A&E. And who can forget his twelfth, when he’d climbed onto the roof of his single-storey house on a dare and broke his wrist on the way down? The list goes on, but, physical injury and heartbreaking loss of desserts aside, nothing will ever rank higher than his sixteenth, which he’d spent crying into half a dozen share-sized packets of Doritos when none of his guests turned up.

So, yes, Dan’s got a plethora of bad birthdays to choose from, but good ones? Honestly, his top three is probably just his nineteenth listed three times. It was the first he’d spent with not only an actual best friend but also a boyfriend – and okay, technically they’re the same person, but give him a break. He’d never expected to have one of those, let alone find both wrapped up in the miracle that is Phil. Dan had gone to spend his birthday week up in Manchester with him, where Phil had taken him to dinner and a movie and, sure, it was cliché and cheesy as hell, but that’s exactly what Dan had wanted. They’d eaten overpriced meals and made out in the back of the cinema and drank on a rooftop bar and it was by far the best birthday Dan’s ever had. Today, however, that’s about to change. Today, Dan is going to have a new number one, because today his boyfriend is finally, finally going to fuck him.

Keep reading

Honestly, I’ve gotta admit there was this certain pull to s3. Every clip left you refreshing the website wishing for another clip to drop immediately. Most of the time, the storyline was that interesting, and you wanted to know what happened next. It wasn’t even like a “maybe the next clip will be the one where things finally happen and we get answers because this clip gave us 600 new questions.“ 

It was like 50 different theories and possibilities and outcomes from the clip being posted at once, and this rush that you were experiencing something important. There was something so hypnotizing about watching s3 in real time that pulled me in like nothing I’ve ever watched before has. 

I won’t pretend that there wasn’t a time in Isak’s season where we didn’t have questions (because we most certainly did.) Isak’s story was always moving forward though. We could tell it was going somewhere. We didn’t know where that was, but that was what kind of made it so exciting? 

I would stay up until 5am in case an early clip dropped some nights because missing a clip dropping was the end of the world to me back then. That’s how important not only clips, but text messages as well felt back then. There was such a weight and a feeling of importance to every update.  

That’s been something that’s been noticeably different to me this season. That pull isn’t there. I’ve looked for it trust me, and at the beginning, I was excited to see where Sana’s story would go. Those beginning clips held a small semblance of Isak’s season, but over time, it’s completely fallen apart. 

It’s not like I actively was/am rooting against Sana. It’s not like I want to find issues with her season. I know how much this season means to people.

That pull has happened a few times. It maybe has happened 5 times at the most. Whatever Julie has intended that factor to be this season, it obviously hasn’t translated, at least for me. Maybe she just doesn’t care.

The times this season where I’ve felt that pull is when we’ve just seen Sana. When she’s been herself alone in her room exposing her real thoughts and feelings to us as the audience. Those moments have pulled me in and left me awed because that is what being a main character on Skam is about. It’s showing yourself and making your emotions visible to the audience. I guess that goes back to the heart of the reason why I love Skam so much. Because it’s supposed to be real and feel real. Those moments to me have been the highlight and have left me going…. okay when is the next clip? 

The storyline has been boring, and it moved too slowly and then too quickly to where it is now: where it doesn’t even make any sense. The updates don’t even focus on Sana, and some of them straight up don’t even feel important. 

Thinking about how much potential Sana’s season had with what Julie accomplished in s3 makes me upset. She had every opportunity to make Sana’s season just as explosive and raw and important as Isak’s felt. It’s such an injustice to Sana and to those who feel represented by her that this season has gone in the direction it has. With the effort, Julie could have made something so important, and it’s a shame she didn’t. 

anonymous asked:

Head canoning/au: what if stiles was bit instead of Scott? Or in addition? DOB playing accidental werewolf stiles. Does it cure his ADHD? Does he embrace it? If Scott still dates Allison, does that make the drama more interesting and less cliched, less Romeo and Juliet, more how can you choose her over me? Or what if Peter bites stiles later in first season, when he mentions it canonically to stiles. How does stiles take to being a were? How do you think Sterek would be affected?

Continued: I mean, don’t get me wrong, I looooove human stiles and wouldn’t change him, love that he’s sarcastic but fragile, love that he’s a spark, or whatever, but not bullet proof… But I think he would handle the wolf stuff so differently than Scott did…

Oh Stiles would have 1000% handled turning very differently than Scott did, and season one would have been a completely different show. I’m going to start off saying that I agree, I love human!Stiles (and also spark!Stiles) too much to ever really be into the idea of wolf!Stiles or him turning, but it would have been interesting to see how that would have played out.

I’m going to run with the idea of Stiles being turned instead of Scott in this ask, because him being bitten as well would be a whole different ramble. 

First off, I think Stiles would have embraced the hell out of having superpowers. Scott enjoyed the benefits of being a wolf to get on the lacrosse team and win over Allison, but otherwise he was pretty desperate to be normal and ignore any elements of the supernatural going on in his life. Scott wanted a normal (well, popular sports star, but normal) life, but Stiles –– the geeky, World of Warcraft playing, superhero and sci fi movie loving geek that he is –– would have embraced the new wolf identity whole-heartedly. Remember, he was the one who actually figured out Scott was a werewolf (even jokingly) and helped him through learning control and connecting with his anchor. So I see werewolf!Stiles taking to be a wolf much faster than Scott did, if only because he would want to embrace it, want to learn as much as he could about it, want to be the best goddamn superhero werewolf he could be, because having superpowers is freaking awesome! 

So I think that, while for Scott the journey was one of “ugh, why is this happening to me” with a touch of “cool I can get a girlfriend now”, toward accepting that this was a permanent part of his life, for Stiles the journey would have gone in somewhat the opposite direction: from wholeheartedly embracing this awesome gift to slowly realizing –– as bodies piled up and hunters appeared in the picture –– that it might not be all sunshine and superpowers after all. (But I honestly think he’d handle that better too. Stiles is used to adapting to hard times, is a realist bordering on a cynic, and when he realized it was time to get serious I think he would have been able to ground himself and grow up fast –– though not without some serious griping along the way.)

I think the arc of the season probably would have changed a lot too, with Stiles as the core character. Along with his own research, he probably would have gone to Derek for answers and struck up a relationship much earlier on, wanting to learn as much as possible about the world he was now a part of. The main reasons he kept more of a distance from Derek in canon were because he was A) following Scott’s lead, since Scott was the one this was most affecting, B) he was scared of Derek (and certain feelings Derek was bringing out in him) and C) he was jealous that Scott and Derek were in this werewolf club together and he wasn’t, so he kind of wanted to nudge Derek aside to hold onto Scott better. All of which would have been different if Stiles were the one at the center of all the werewolf issues, with his own werewolf strength to match Derek’s.

(And in fact, he did go to Derek for answers a bit even in canon, like the scene in the police car when Derek was arrested –– and in an especially bad mood, I mean don’t get a guy arrested for the murder of his sister and then decide it’s time to chat. Just… bad timing there, Stiles –– and I think that would have been much more the norm in a world where Stiles was the werewolf.)

Since Derek would see Stiles actually invested in what was happening, actually wanting to understand (even in his snarky and skeptical way), I think Derek would have felt a lot more settled and secure than he did throughout canon season one. Derek’s main goals that season were to protect the stupid teenagers, get the stupid teenagers to take this seriously, and to feel a little less alone after losing Laura, and Stiles actually coming to him, wanting to learn, would change so much of that and leave him a lot more settled.

Ok, what else… I do think being a wolf would have probably cured Stiles’ ADHD, since the bite cured Erica’s epilepsy. Or at least… held it at bay. There’s a possibility that being exposed to wolfsbane, or other things that stalled out his wolf healing, would cause a resurgence of symptoms the way it did with Erica. Which would make wolfsbane exposure even more dangerous for Stiles, because it could potentially make him weaker and make it harder for him to focus on how to escape the situation.

As for Scott… I can see this going one of either two ways. Scott was very woe is me and Scott-centric throughout season one, and I’ll say somewhat understandably. He was the one who got the bite, who had his life flipped upside-down, and so it makes sense that he would be thinking about his own drama over other people’s. I’m also going to suggest that Scott’s overwhelming obsession with Allison was partly due to his being a new wolf (stronger senses, stronger instincts) and her being his anchor (being hyper-focused on her settled him). So, while I think a lot of Scott’s behavior was just down to his general personality, it’s also possible that a human Scott would have just reacted a bit more… normally, to getting a girlfriend. It’s also possible that, considering Stiles would be the one who was in trouble, the one whose problems needed to be focused on, Scott would have stepped up and been more focused on supporting Stiles in general. It’s easy when you’ve got a broken thumb to go “oh I have a broken thumb, feel bad for me, I can’t focus on your problems right now friend, my thumb’s hurting.” But if your thumb’s perfectly fine and your friend’s is the one that’s broken, you might be there and focused and more inclined to put them first and help them out.

(And yes, I just compared being bitten by a werewolf to having a broken thumb. I have no idea why. I’m sleep deprived with too much coffee in my system; let’s move on.)

So yes, it’s totally possible that human!Scott would put more focus on a werewolf!Stiles than on Allison, even causing him to leave her once he finds out her family are werewolf hunters. (Because again, it’s easy to keep dating someone dangerous when they’re threatening you and the poor loner werewolf you just honestly don’t care about :/ but if they’re threatening your best friend, that might change your attitude a bit.)

Of course, it could go in the complete opposite direction as well. Since we know Scott just wanted a normal life, the fact that Stiles was suddenly so completely not normal might set a wedge between them, even unconsciously. If that happened early on, it would probably push Stiles closer to Derek, push Scott closer to Allison, and potentially even lead Scott to side with the hunters if Kate or Chris managed to convince him that the werewolves were the dangerous monsters who stole his best friend from him. (And honestly this would be such an interesting dynamic to play out –– Scott trying to do the right thing, convinced by his girlfriend’s family that werewolves were the wrong thing. Maybe even convinced that killing the Alpha or Derek would turn Stiles back to being human, and that he’d be saving him by doing so. Leading Stiles and Derek into a trap by pretending to want to make amends, and then realizing his mistake when Kate ends up trying to kill Stiles too. And… damn, I want to write this now.)

Anyway, there’s so much more to explore here but I’ve definitely rambled on long enough. Awesome question, anon, thank you!

^ werewolf Stiles with Derek as his anchor ;P

Shape of You (Steve x Reader)

Hello! This is the first fic I’m posting here, and I’m just super excited to release it!

Note: this was partly inspired by Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, and some little black shorts I feel pretty damn good in. 

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word count: 1,406 

Originally posted by luvinchris

Steve liked a lot of things about you. Even before you got together, he loved that you were kind, compassionate, intelligent, and not to mention beautiful. And yes, those things were at the top of his list of ‘Reasons I Love Y/N’, but also in the top chunk of that list, was your body.

Even when you two met a while back, he couldn’t help but think about what a “beautiful dame” you were, or as he put it to Bucky. Now, ever the gentleman, Steve would never outright say that to you, especially if you weren’t his girl, but damn there had been so many times that he wished you were. He doesn’t remember a time when a gal had gotten him so flustered in so many different ways before, but honestly, he wasn’t complaining.

Every part of you was exquisite to him. After getting to know you better, he learned that you did your best to care for your body, which is why he often found you in the training room doing simple workouts or fixing a small snack in the kitchen. One night after the two of you had been talking for a while, you let Steve in on a secret. You both had been in the kitchen, sharing some fruit.

“Ya know, I used to have insane body-image issues,” you had said as you dipped your apple slice in peanut butter. “Still kinda do. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but sometimes it’s a nagging voice in the back of my head.” You munched on your apple slice.

“What?” He seemed fairly surprised. In his mind, he didn’t see a single thing wrong with you and often stared when you weren’t looking. “But Y/N, you’re absolutely beautiful, why–,” he stopped himself, his face going pink as he realized where he was going. He folded his hands together in front of him and shut his mouth.

You smiled a little. “Thank you, Steve, really–but it’s not necessarily about what others see, as much as it is how I see and think of myself, you know?”

That he definitely understood. He had a lot of issues with how he thought of himself when he was growing up, a scrawny and sick little thing. Even after going Super Soldier, his mind still wandered and he had a lot to keep up with these days. Just because his bulk was originally superficial, didn’t mean he couldn’t do all he could to make himself feel good about it. He was glad that there was another layer you two could connect on.

After you shared that with him, he had made a point to help you when he figured you might need it. Training and toning sessions, different recipes, and even paying you a simple compliment when he felt it was appropriate. Eventually, it developed into a partnership rather than a friendship, and that’s when he really started to show you how much he appreciated your form.

Whenever you were together or around each other, he found himself always touching you; whether it was a gentle hand on your back or your hip, or a few interlaced fingers, it was constant. When you were secluded, he’d often lay his head in your lap, letting you play with his hair as he wrapped his arms around your legs. If you two were napping or asleep, he was always wrapped around you, a hand gently stroking your side, from the top of your back, over your bottom and down your thigh. His hands always seemed to rest in the curve of your hip or on your thighs. And ever the gentleman that he is, whenever you two were alone, he’d always remind you that he absolutely adored your figure. And he definitely had no problem showing you.

Steve had been sitting at the island in the kitchen, book in his hands when you had come strolling in after a run. He did a double take and his face flushed as he stared at you–no, more like stared at your legs as they passed him. You were flushed and sweaty, earphones plugged in and hair in a high ponytail. You smiled at him in acknowledgment, still slightly out of breath as you turned your back on him and reached up into the cupboard for a glass to get some cold water.

He gulped and continued staring, focusing his eyes on those damned little black shorts. They were made up of some sort of material–spandex, probably–and hugged your hips and bum perfectly. You often wore them during training or runs, and each time, they would distract him just the same. He wondered if you caught him staring all the time. He didn’t even notice as his eyes followed you out of the kitchen.

After a minute or two, he ran his hands down his face and tried to calm himself down. It’s just fabric, he repeated in his head. He picked his book back up and tried (and failed) to re-focus his attention on the page. After forcing himself to continue, he eventually fell back into it, your hips falling to the back of his mind. Maybe he could even get through a few chapters before dinner. He thought he could, at least.

That was when he heard light footsteps coming down the hall. He turned his head and there you were, fresh and clean and hair damp from your shower. He gave you a quick once-over, taking in the high-waisted black leggings and purple top that outlined your lovely figure. Your top was bunched together slightly at the side, exposing an inch or two of your stomach. You looked so good; he groaned internally.

You smiled as you made your way to him, pecking him lightly on his cheek. “Hi babe,” you said, slipping around the island before he could reach for you, completely unaware of his growing frustration. You started fiddling around in the fridge for something to snack on. You settled on some strawberries. You grabbed a cutting board and a small knife. “Did you just relax all day?”

“Mhmm,” he hummed, afraid of opening his mouth. Once again, he continued staring as you went about your business, biting his lip. You were completely oblivious, and it was edging him on. 

“That’s good,” you responded, cutting up one strawberry after the other. After a moment of silence, you barely heard his chair move and then felt Steve’s hands wrap around your waist, pulling you back into him.

“Y/N?” he said, placing a tender kiss on the side of your head. You simply hummed in response, feeling your damp hair being pulled back from your neck as Steve’s lips planted a kiss there as well. His thumb made small circles on your hipbone. “When was the last time I told you how absolutely amazing you look?”

You laughed. “The other day, I think.” You noticed that he had a habit of reminding you how much he liked your body–especially your hips. His big hands slid down your forearms and over your hands, and he turned you around to face him, still leaning up against the corner. You look up and see that his usually clear blue eyes are clouded.

He cups your cheek in one hand as his other rests on your hip, eyes looking all around your face before landing on your lips. “Well, you look absolutely amazing today, Y/N,” he says gruffly before kissing you. It starts out soft before he grasps you tighter and kisses you harder. The hand that was on your cheek slides down your neck, to your back and waist and you inhale on instinct. You feel him shift and suddenly he breaks away, flipping you up and over his shoulder, heading out of the kitchen. 

“Steve!” you nearly squeal, your own hands latching onto him. He’s almost rushing down the hall, presumably to one of your bedrooms. “What are you doing?”

A door opens and shuts, and suddenly you’re on your back against a bed. His hands are on you and his lips are on yours in a kiss that makes you feel dizzy.

“Well doll,” he breathes as he breaks away from your lips, trailing down your neck. Your face heats up and you can feel him smirk against your skin. “I figured I’d show you just how amazing you are.”

Well, I’m not going to argue with that. 

I had so much fun writing this! I hope you enjoyed it ! :)

5x09 review-One Fettered Slave

I can’t believe we’ve come to this point.

One episode before the final epilogue and it feels so surreal-i can’t even begin to imagine  how it must’ve been for the people that have sticked to this show for 4 years.

Ep 9 was what i imagined it to be: quick paced, action packed and extremely emotional.

I was scared about the analogy between the Helena moments and the general mythology arc cause they had to show a lot of things- especially after Siobhan’s death- but they balanced it well.

let’s analyze the different thematics:

  • The Funeral

Siobhan’s funeral  started with Sarah speaking . In an episode that is focused on another character i think the writers did a good choice not showing Sarah’s vulnerability.

She’s suddenly the pillar of the family and eveyone is expecting directions from her. She has to be the strong one there’s no other way. Her grief and feelings are not her priority right now  so she won’t break down. Not in front of Kira, not in front of everyone.

Sarah’s grown so much.This moment says it all

what am i supposed to do?

she can’t afford losing her child as well. She’s the reason she’s keeping it together after all. So she stays with her and comforts her. Something Ms S had done all those years when Sarah was absent.

I also adored the symbolism of her wearing her mother’s jacket.

Sarah taking responsibility, lifting the weights of this family

also congrats for letting Tatiana without make up in her  portrayal of Sarah (or rather the “no make up” makeup ya know) cause it made her emotional chaos more humane… her eyes said it all..

also about her breaking down- i believe we’re gonna see her grieve the way she’s supposed to after everything is finally over. Last episode is Sarah centric so it totally fits to have her moment in the epilogue.

What i didn’t like from the funeral scene was the singing at the beginning, which i found would be much better if we could just hear Sara and Felix speaking with no other sound in the background..

Also the fact that 4 days after S’s death they could walk and talk in a house that is a murder scene was totally unrealistic..Police had to be all over the place investigating and all…

Unless Art handled the situation in a way..but still a plot hole is a plot hole

  • Team working together

Cosima,Felix, Art, Hellwizard, Scott, Rachel ok what a pleasant suprise to see everyone working together. I loved the fact that supporting actors got the chance to actually help the ledas and be useful. Each one helped in their own field.

Cosima helped with the Dyad information and Scotty-Hell with the security system (even if it was kinda weak to hack the security system with such convienience-i’m bypassing that lol)

Even Rachel helped!! Rachel!!! My only complaint was Alison’s minimum participation in this but i get that given the circumstances her involvement  would be extremely difficult

Should i talk about Art??

Cause everything



and all this time i ‘ve been crazy rambling about how his chances of surving are veeeery  low…. ep 9 built his exodus cause the final episode will be Leda/Sarah Centric…so be prepared guys…

i get Ebro’s schedule..i trully do..and i was fine with Sardinia..i was fine with Geneva as well cause there was a reason behind it plotwise but we’ve come to the point where there isn’t even an explanation about this…

they didn’t clarify the reason she left… cause it doesn’t make sense when Siobhan’s funeral was 4 days after the gallery party…there wasn’t a reason good enough to justify her absence that’s why the writers didn’t give one…they prefered to let the fans decide which reason was good enough…let’s be real though that was sloppy..and as much as i love orphan black i’m gonna point out  it’s weakening points as well.

  • Coady+ Mark

So Mark died absolutely clueless…his death matched Ira’s death, both manipulated by their creators, hoping for a cure that never existed in the first place.Too bad that there wasn’t any building up to bring tension and to make us care about those characters… so this scene felt kinda flat at least for me…i believe the reason behind this was cause ob writers didn’t want to make Coady a grey character…. well i for once celebrated her death after this scene

wait it is confirmed that Coady is dead right? I mean Helena beat the shit out of her so it would be  impossible to zombie out ?? or should i be worried??

  • PT + Rachel!Sarah

oh god PT without his wig is like a bulb with ears lmao

anyway so i loved these 2 together…this is the first time Sarah meets John am i right?

also congrats to the props team and the level of detail they use in each scene…i liked that Sarah didn’t wear the same patch Rachel wears…

a++ to the dialogue about PT perving out on Rachel because in that way Sarah put herself on Rachel’s shoes and actually saw for the first time how they were monitoring her sister and what actually means complete lack of privacy…

also both Susan and PT seem to have a perplexed image as to what a father/mother figure looks like

you don’t fuck your ‘son’/ or watch you ‘daughter’ masturbate and then call them “son/daughter” lol

but it gave me pleasure that Rachel never actually called PT “father” and that’s how Sarah got exposed..

the moment she cut him with the knife i was like “yaaaas finish him lol”




don’t get me wrong the kid was very good/ super talented and all

but how could they do this???

i mean it was SO.FUCKING.OBVIOUS that this isn’t the face of a leda clone you couldn’t concentrate on anything else!

at least i couldn’t! Especially when 2 episodes before they used canonically Cynthia!

i mean


it defies logic?? there’s no excuse??

they could have dubbed the ukranian parts i don’t care if little Cynthia couldn’t play that good that was so wrong in so many levels… it had the “Spongebob takes a bath in the sea” logic lol

and it was really such a shame cause the flashbacks were so amazing..

first of all i loved the whole “pleasures of the flesh are unacceptable in a religious environment” thematic cause it adresses real social issues like the austerity and fake puritanism of social institutions.

the reason behind Helena’s bleached hair was a nice touch even though little Helena should also have some  burn marks after this…we got to know why she has those pink shades under her eyes as well so that was good..

as far as to why her hair is still blonde after all this time…well i choose to patch this plot hole by believing that Helena did this to herself again and again..she bleached/dyed them as a sign of punishment, self harm  and guilt cause that was the way she was raised- a mouthpiece and killing machine of others..

the art department did a brilliant job with the dollhouse and the correlation between Helena’s fixation with dolls back in her Rachel assassination attempt

Tomas took her and hide her the fact  that she’s a copy..she grew up in the illusion that she was special..that she was the fact Rachel and Helena fantasized about the same thing and it is so fascinating to see how they are 2 different sides of the same coin…

  • Most Heartbreaking moment

Oh god this moment…

what kind of mother could you possibly make?

jesus Tatiana each time you give more and more, i haven’t seen an actor as committed and devoted as you are, you deserve all the praise girl woah

Coady found Helena’s weakness and it is not how she smells, looks or talks…it’s about her capacity of giving a future more bright and beautiful to her children than the one her younger self  had to endure…

and at the end of the day she’s willing to take the bait..  it’s either freedom or death…exactly like Rachel..there’s no middle ground..she won’t leave her children become experiments so that’s why i find super important that we finally get a Rachel Helena scene…there’s a high probability Rachel won’t make it in the finale so at least lets have a last glorious scene with the 3 of them as they try to escape…or so i hope…



all this crazy rambling about this being a Sarah-Helena season finally came true! Everything came full circle and this moment was SO important like you guys don’t understand…

Sarah finally made up for Helena..she gave her her blood to keep her alive…she put each and everyone of her friends and family searching for her, she made her a priority- drowning her grief -cause she couldn’t lose another one..especially Helena.

And now she will help her give birth..she will be there for her, protect her, give her life even..even tho after the obspoilers fiasco my theory now is that Art is gonna save Sarah…because it is super symbolic .. it would be his second chance and his redemption after losing Beth.. now he’s gonna do it right. Idk it is so foreshadowing… i wonder what Rachel’s role is gonna be..i sure hope she’s the one that’s gonna kill PT but who knows at this point.

Ep 9 set the mood for a very powerful ob series finale..Helena’s inner world was raw and pure and it’s going to  parallel  Sarah’s  final  gut-wrenching episode.The twins are going to set the epilogue and i trully hope their journey will be as magical and  satisfying as this show was  for all of us.

Measure of Beauty

Request: I saw you had requests open! Could you write either a Thor (if you don’t do him that’s ok) or a Bucky/seb x chubby or plus size reader? 

A/N: I’ll write any character, I just primarily get Buck/Seb or Tom Holland requests, SOOOOO let’s go with Thor.

Tags: @ladydork, @yourgayonlinemom, @broken-pieces, @bubblyanarocks3, @yessy2012

The silence and solitude engulfing (Y/N) as she sat curled up on her couch covered in a blanket was pure agony. She hated the fact that the man who made her feel the most significant lived so far away; long distance was always something she thought she could handle until she was faced with the issue of her the man she loved ruling a completely different realm. Sure she was able to stomach the looks of lunacy she received when asked why she doesn’t date and even the occasional disbelief–she knew the truth and she knew the reality of her relationship with Thor–but what really set her off were the inconsiderate, unnecessary, degrading rumors.

(Y/N) had always been on the chubbier side as a child and rather than having support from friends or family regarding her weight, any comment she received was given with some underlying shade. There were the subtle hints: “that top looks great, but isn’t it a little tight?” The suggestions: “I’m going to the gym if you want to come!” The blatantly rude comments: “are you really going to eat all of that?” “You’ll be as big as a house!” And then, the helpful, ‘healthy’ hints: “don’t you want to look healthy?”

It had taken years for (Y/N) to even begin to feel confident in her skin and each comment just continues to bring up doubts about herself. She’d struggled in the past with binging or excessive dieting and exercise to appeal to societal standards of beauty but had eventually given up. The pain wasn’t worth conforming to society’s expectations. She knew she was healthy whether or not she was in shape. She knew she took care of herself as best as she could, if not better than the people who continued to try to live off less than a thousand calories a day, and she had gained a sense of confidence about herself and her body that she didn’t expect possible.

When Thor came along, he was exposed to this radiant, self-assured, incredible human being and had fallen for her perfection. He didn’t know the self-conscious teenager who refused to look in a mirror or the college student who put on the freshman fifteen and then tried to starve herself for months; he saw (Y/N): beautiful, happy, healthy, kind, sassy, and all together wonderful person. She had never intended to show him the other side of her: the ugly, self-pitying, wallowing mess of a person she used to be, but she had no choice.

(Y/N) tried to ignore the thoughts rushing through her head, but they demanded attention. She tried to rationalize, to tell herself all of the same calming and realistic explanation she goes through when faced with his level of self-consciousness and humiliation, but it failed. Her mind was continually brought back to the rude, uncaring, horrid people who targeted her that afternoon, teasing her about how no one could ever love her, that even ‘chubby chasers’ aren’t interested in the real thing rather just losing themselves in another layer of skin during sex. She wanted nothing more than to correct them, to tell them that she was deeply committed to a man who loved her for every part of her and who was a thousand times the man any of them could ever hope to be, but trying to explain her relationship was difficult enough when discussing it with the understanding people in her life without sounding like an idiot or a nut job.

Her desperation to save a little face lead to a continual, overly analytical evaluation of her life and her thoughts and conceptions about herself began to spiral. Was she worth it? Was there anything she could offer Thor? Why was he with her in the first place? Was their relationship based on pity? Did he ever truly care about her? As her mind flooded with more and more incriminating questions, there was a knock on her door. Hesitantly, she rose and opened the door to reveal Thor, dressed as though he were a lumberjack, glancing down at her in concern.

“Heimdal said you weren’t well, are you ill?” he quickly interrogated her as he pushed his way into her home.

“I’m fine,” she stated and closed the door behind him.

“You’ve been crying,” he observed.

“But I’m not now,” she stated, trying to sound strong and in control of her emotions.

“(Y/N),” he said softly while taking her face in his hands and pressing his lips against the top of her head. “You are a terrible liar.” She let out a sighed and swallowed hard, trying not to choke up as she attempted to speak.

“Do…do you love me?” she questioned and ducked her head to avoid eye contact.

“Yes, of course!” Thor smiled, his voice booming with pride. “Is this about me being away?” he quickly asked.

“No, it’s not that; I understand you have to be in Asgard right now, but–”

“Then what’s gotten you so upset, dove?” he asked as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“How can you love me?” she asked in an exasperated tone. “Who’s to say that I’m not replaceable with some skinnier, prettier girl?”

“(Y/N),” Thor sighed as he pulled her closer to his chest. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Of course not,” she sighed, “because you’re too good to me and too good for me. You didn’t grow up hearing the stupid chants kids made to tease me about my weight, you don’t know about the torment other kids put on me because I was bigger because I never told you about my lifelong insecurities because you were too perfect to see them, but now I am. Why do you love me? No one else does nor can they fathom how any human could. My whole life I’ve been told I’m not worth the shit under my shoes so what makes me expect that I’m worth something to you?” Her voice was cracking through her anger at herself as Thor stood in front of her, his arms still tightly woven around (Y/N)’s body. making her feel small and helpless against his muscles.

“I’ve been examining the Earth and it’s inhabitants for ages, (Y/N) and I can tell you this about humanity: the concept of beauty changes and it’s not universal. Your dress size and measurements don’t matter to me. The contents of your heart, the values of your soul, and your genuinely good-willed nature are what really matters–not whether or not your thighs tough, if your hipbones or collarbones are visible, and certainly not if you have the flattest stomach. For me, (Y/N), you are perfect. You are the most amazing and most gorgeous woman I’ve ever laid eyes on both physically and because of your character. Don’t fret any longer about any reservations regarding us. No one, large or small, could ever compare to the way you make me feel, and that is the true measure of your beauty.”

Young God

Lucifer x Reader

A/n: I didn’t add the him questioning part in but it’s still (hopefully) what you wanted!

Warnings: like barley any blood, light Luce torture (for now), is the reader being sassy a warning? Language as always. Nothing bad.

Requested by Anon: Can I have an imagine where lucifer kidnaps the reader hoping to get information from her and kill her, but as he questions her he realizes he likes her a lot even when she’s covered in blood?

Forever tag list: @Freaksforthewin , @thewinhunter, @cambriacaneatnoodles, @brokennoone , @youtubehelpsmesurvive , @chrisevansthedoritobastard , @winchesters-favorite-girl , @we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @godh8salyssa @dean-baby-Winchester @straightasdeanwinchester@animexchocolate

He was so dead. It was all you could think about. Sooner or later the Winchester’s, also known as some of your closet friends, would have to come save the day. If they even realized you’d been kidnaped by the damn Devil. Why might you be kidnapped by the hotshot of Hell? Maybe because he’s got issues and thinks torturing you for information is the way to go. Logical right?

You were in some cracked out abandoned house. Same story, different kidnapping. This wasn’t your first rodeo either. The two asshat demons that had taken you from your totally peaceful and mundane dinner were standing by, guarding you before the man himself walked in.

His very presence dropped the temperature a good ten degrees at most. Instantly creating a visible path of goosebumps trailing along your exposed arms.

“What part of grab and go don’t you understand?” His decaying facial features were obviously not impressed with the wound on your head.

“Did you really think I would just go quietly?” You have no time for the black eyed bastards to answer him.

With a wave of his hand they were gone. Leaving you alone with the surprisingly cute Devil.

“What a peculiar thing you are…” with his right index finger, he trailed lightly along the lining of his lips as he pouted them slightly outward. “No wonder the wonder boys are so interested in you.”

Your eyes merely rolled at him, which you kind of sort of regretted. He was well, him.

“If you think you’re getting any information on where Joshua’s Horn is, you’re barking up the wrong vessel pal.” The words practically spat from your mouth.

A pleased yet amused smile was on his lips. “Right down to business then.”

“Why waste time making conversation when you just plan to dig into my mind anyways?” Where was all this courage coming from? Wherever it was, you liked it. The feeling it gave you.

Out of no where, a sharp vibrating noise began ringing throughout your ear drums. The sound only grew louder with each time you attempted to resist it from entering.

“Oops. You’ve got a little…” his hand motioned toward your nose which was obviously bleeding from the pain. “You know, we can just stop the fun where it’s starting if you spill the beans for me.”

Did he really expect you to give in so easily? “We’re just getting started. Besides, if a bad headache and a nose bleed is all you’ve got, I’ll be fine.” Leaning to the right with your head, you wiped away the blood on your old shirt. “I’ve had demons do a better job ‘torturing’ me than your doing.”

His facial expression dropped in a deadly serious way. “Are you comparing me to a demon? Of all the little rats that scurry the earth, that’s your go to?” Lifting his foot he took a step in your direction. Making your heart beat a little faster.

“I mean- if the shoe fits. Then lace that bitch up and wear it Cinderella.” Your mouth had no filter. Oh how you wished it did in this moment.

The powerful man before you just kept advancing in your direction. Until he was a hairs length away from you. The breathing filling your lungs was off and irregular. He noticed this instantly.

“Something wrong? Don’t tell me I’m making you nervous.” Both of his hands were resting on his bent knees.

Leaning forward until your noses were practically touching you spoke in an almost whisper.

“I’m not afraid of a pouting child with daddy issues.” The entire time your eyes remained at a deadlock with his.

Suddenly his back was turned to you, the restraints you had which were holding you to the chair were gone.

“You know kid,” there was a certain kind of pep in his talk. “I might just keep you around.”

In your mind you knew you should be scared. Terrified really. But for some reason- some God awful unknown reason, you loved the rush. The thrill of being around him. Thriving off of the powerful vibe he gave off made you feel alive.

“Better hope you can keep up with me, hot shot.”

Why the Voting Gauntlet is Flawed

Alright, people, I have to get this off my chest because it has been bothering me from the start. It’s about the Fire Emblem Heroes’ Voting Gauntlet. It’s terrible. Absolutely terrible!

At first, I liked the idea of a popularity vote contest since Awakening did the same thing as did Heroes for its 5 star characters, but this Voting Gauntlet is awful for many reasons.

Before I start, let me make this clear: I have only played Awaking and Fates. I haven’t played any of the past Fire Emblem games so I am not a ticked off veteran looking to pick a fight.

Second, this is simply my opinion. If you love the Voting Gauntlet, that’s fine with me; however, I despise the way Intelligent Systems is handling it and how broken the mechanics to this Gantlet is.

The first issue I have with this Voting Gauntlet are the characters that were chosen to participate.

Here’s the characters of the last gauntlet:

And now here’s the current gauntlet:

The problem here is as clear as day. Popularity imbalance. What I mean by that is that there are some people, myself included, who go into these things knowing only two or three characters at most because they played the games they were in. I have no clue who Erika, Minerva, or Palla are. Am I likely to side with their army? Well…I sided with Erika because I liked her design, but nothing more and that’s a problem. Fire Emblem Heroes is a game that exposed the newer players to older Fire Emblem characters, but it doesn’t give the newer players a compelling reason to like the characters enough to side with them. The people who are complaining about Lucina and Camilla (so far) single handily winning the Gauntlets have to realize that Awakening and Fates brought tons of people into the series; therefore, it is not surprising at all that Lucina and Camilla, the most popular characters from those games, are beating both Gauntlets.

None of the new fans have either heard of the past Fire Emblem games or even wanted to play them, so they don’t know any of the older characters like Erika. Why support a character whom you don’t even know the game they are from? Which brings me to one of the reasons why the Voting Gaunlet is flawed: the fandom is divided.

There are the old Fire Emblem veterans and there are the Awakening/Fates players. The veterans despise every aspect of Awakening and Fates and the toxic side of the fans who played the games while the newer fans are turned off by the older games due to either toxic veteran fans or Classic mode. So the fandom is literally cut in half with the needless bickering of what Fire Emblem should be. Why do a voting gauntlet that brings all the characters from all the games and expect it to be fair with everyone choosing “this character” because they look cool? No, people are picking their characters in the gauntlets because they know the character compared to the rest. That’s why Lucina and Camilla are winning because it shows how many new fans there are compared to the old fans. Whether you want to debate with me that it is because Lucina and Camilla are waifus and nothing more is up to you, but my main reason why is the former.

Now let me talk about the mechanics of the Voting Gauntlet. Oh…my…lord…the Voting Gauntlet is Takumi levels of broken and not in a good way! Tell me: what is the first thing you think of when you see “Voting Gauntlets”? A mode where you join with countless people around the world and vote for the character you like the most to win these things, right? Well here’s what’s bugging me: You can vote more than once and depending on the number of flags you have, your vote is worth more or less than other people. I’m sorry to the people who like the flags, but I fucking hate them.

The way the flags work is that if you have collected a certain amount through missions, which are more of a chore than anything else, you can use them to boost up a number of points your vote is worth. Depending on your rank in the arena, a regular vote can be worth around less or more than 100 with the difference being around 5 more or fewer points, but as we go higher in the multiplier, it gets worse. In the maximum amount of point multipliers, 200, the difference in points you could contribute is separated by 1000. So if you contributed say 19000 points, somewhere out there, someone contributed 20000 points for the same price of 200 flags because they are ranked higher than you!

And people are complaining about the roster being unbalanced, the flags are close to the rosters of how unbalanced they are. You can say how much I am blowing this out of proportion, but I’ve never had a good feeling about the flags ever since I saw what they could do and how much they could affect the scores. Just look at Camilla’s score when she slaughtered Hinoka. 5 billion+! Might as well stop participating right there and then because no one else is going to hit that. And now look at what’s happened in Camilla vs Cordelia. Camilla hit almost HALF a million in the span of a fucking hour at the START and now she’s at 4 billion points looking to break her record! And people are saying Minerva stands a chance? Not with the bullshit easter costume Camilla got which, in my opinion as a person who likes Camilla, is completely unnecessary and too coincidental.  That’s why I hate the Voting Gauntlet flags. They give too many points and all people need to do is collect them through chore missions, score high in the arena, and spam the fuck out of the 200 multipliers knowing that someone is doing the same but with higher points at the same price. It saps out the confidence of a team which is why Hinoka and Cordelia are scoring so low! They see the massive score Camilla has and just gives up.

Chrom vs Ephraim and Subaki vs Beruka were the best parts of the Voting Gauntlet because the no one knew who was going to win. Everyone had to pitch in and not laze around, or the team could have lost a vote that would have gotten them their victory. Those are the kinds of battles people want more of. The kin that are a test to how much people really want their character to win. People can’t just drop their phone or tablet and not do it for a few hours like they know they’re going to win. The Voting Gauntlet is something that requires undying loyalty and dedication which is something Hinoka and Cordelia fans are unable to display thanks to Camilla’s lead. What’s the point of even trying? That’s something I should never think of when it comes to these things. Even though I don’t like the fact that you can vote more than once, the concept behind it is debatably understandable.

While I do like the Voting Gauntlet as a concept, it isn’t a perfect mode to participate in. It’s too broken with both the characters that are selected and the flags points that are used in it. The first gauntlet kinda made these problems form in the back of my mind, but with this gauntlet with Camilla in it, there’s no doubt in my mind that Intelligent Systems are screwing everyone over.

Last time an Awakening character won and now a Fates character will win. How much of this can the Fire Emblem veterans take before they just start boycotting Intelligent Systems? How much more divided can this fandom get before it falls apart? Say what you want about the old veterans, but they do not deserve this level of neglect IS has continuously shown. As an Awakening fan, I know people will say that I don’t have a right to say this, but this is not what I want from a game that is suppose to bring old and new fans together. This game is supposed to introduce the new players to the old Fire Emblem characters and promote the past games. It worked for me because I have a 5 star Maxed out Lyn as the leader of my team and I want Erika more than even Camilla and Cordelia! I even want to play the games they are from because they are so interesting!

That is the purpose of Heroes and no one can tell me otherwise!

So I am going to make a post on how to fix the obvious mess that is the Voting Gauntlet. Sure it will be subjective and based off of my own opinion, but I’d rather be subjective than stay completely silent forever on this issue. One of the messes that needs to be fixed are definitely the flags. GET RID OF THE FUCKING FLAGS INTELLIGENCE SYSTEMS!!

And on a final note, my 5 star Maxed level Lyn says the next Voting Gauntlet will be Blue vs Red vs Green tome mages and Tharja will win it single handily with Male Robin in second place.

A Different Story || Peter Parker x Reader

[prompt: the main character of your story falls in love with someone they were not originally supposed to be with.]

{summary: being a fan of spiderman since he was a child, Dirk Richardson is over the moon when he finds a rather thick copy of a spiderman comic simply titled ‘homecoming’ at his local comic book store.

knowing that the movie would release during the summer, he purchases the comic and is confident that he would know the plotline to the movie before anyone else.

little does he know, this comic is a tad bit different when Peter Parker seems to have a mind of his own and focuses his attention on a girl who goes by the name [Full Name]}

this story is going to be SO META. It’s something I’ve always wanted to write this when I had first seen that prompt on Reddit’s Writing Prompt subreddit. Despite the confusing summary, it will all make sense once you all read this story, I promise 。゚(TヮT)゚。

dedicated to @siqnificance, bc mina is bae and I love her so much.

OC Mention: Dirk Richardson, an avid spiderman fan who is the narrator of this story.

warnings: none

legend: parts beginning in bold indicate Dirk’s POV.| parts beginning with italics indicates Peter’s POV.

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. reblogs are fine!**


Out of all of my superhero biases, I gotta say that my absolute favorite has to be Spider-Man.

Being an average dude of average build myself sporting dark brown hair and plain grey eyes, I could relate to Peter Parker on so many levels. Here, we are given this absolute nerd who’s just trying to survive high school. Through some twist of fate, he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and gets all of these awesome abilities.

Keep reading

You Have a Bad Sex Life With Him


“I know where you stand
Silent in the trees
And that’s where I am
Silent in the trees.
Why won’t you speak
Where I happen to be?
Silent in the trees
Standing cowardly.”

I sing softly, curling my hair, smacking my red covered lips together. I look up in the mirror, my love fixing his tie so that it was on perfectly right.

He looks handsome, the way his hands move upon the fabric, the way his posture changes whenever he investigates his look. He is beautiful, completely irresistible. And that’s what makes this so difficult.

I want tonight to be the night, the night where he lets me make love to him.  Our relationship has been serious for a while now, nearly an entire year being spent together. But there’s a flaw we have, and it’s been eating me alive. It almost feels like it’s drifting us apart in some ways, but I don’t think he notices it.

He hasn’t made love to me yet, he hasn’t touched me. And for both of us already having sex with other people in the past, I wonder why he hasn’t given me his love yet.

Harry looks up to the mirror, his stern face suddenly softening. He smiles, making his way toward the bathroom.

“My love,” he whispers, his arms wrapping around my waist, his mouth against the skin of my neck, “you look beautiful, my love.”

I smile.

"I can feel your breath.
I can feel my death.
I want to know you.
I want to see.
I want to say hello.”

“Hm.” Harry hums contently, nuzzling his face into my shoulder, “love when you sing.”

I turn my head, admiring the aspect of him. He’s more than what he claims to be, he’s everything anybody could ever desire.

I kiss down his neck, sucking on the skin right below his ear. I hear him growl, the fingers that are tight around my hip squeezing together. My lips make their way up to his, capturing the taste of his lemon and peppermint breath. His lips are smooth, plump and easy to manipulate. 

He moans into me, his hand gripping onto the back of my neck, as if preventing me from moving away.

“Make love to me.” I whisper, my lips ghosting over his.

Harry stops his movements, hands loosening, lips stopping. He pushes me away, shaking his head from side to side. I knew it was a risky thing to say to him, but I need to feel him love me they way he claims he does. For now, I feel nothing. I haven’t felt anything in so long.

“We can’t, we’re going to be late for the dinner. My family has been non stop talking about this.”

I cross my arms over my chest, tucking my hands underneath them.
“O—okay. Let me just get more lipstick from Gemma’s room.”

I slowly walk across the hall to talk to Gemma. I know the topic may be strange for her, I can’t hold in my feelings anymore. If I don’t let out what I have to, I’ll drive myself to insanity. I can’t handle it anymore.

I walk into her room hesitantly, only to find her straightening her hair, the smell of nail polish fusing the room.

“Hey, Gemma, can I ask you something?” I mumble, my lips coming together into a straight line.

Gemma places her curling iron down on her dresser, brushing out the last few pieces before turning her full attention towards me.

“What’s up, Y/n?”

I let out a shaky breath, blinking softly a few times before building up the bravery to ask her.

“Does Harry ever talk about me, to anybody? Does he say anything about me to you guys?”

Gemma gasps, looking around her as if the question were appalling. She walks up to me to grab my hands, her eyes reassuring me.

“Are you kidding? You’re all he talks about. Every hour he’ll say something related to you. I’m telling you, we hear your name nearly ten times a day.”

I give her a small smile, but it wasn’t my main concern. I’m scared to address the issue, because I feel like once I admit it, I can’t blame anybody but me. Like I am the one who discourages him to make love to me, like there’s a problem I have that he’s trying to avoid.

“Why, hun? What’s going on with you?”

I squeeze her hands, trying desperately to not sound unappreciative of all the other things he does for me. It’s just killing me, destroying my self esteem, I’m at my breaking point.

“He won’t have sex with me.” 

Gemma’s jaw drops, eyes wide and gleaming with shock. I don’t think she had expected it, simply because we have been together for so long, and we are both old enough to have such an intimate experience.

“You guys—you guys haven’t slept together yet?”

I shake my head, frowning at her question.

“Gem, no matter how hard I try, he won’t budge. We haven’t even done foreplay, he hasn’t even gone past my shoulders. I’ve tried so many times to make love to him, but he doesn’t—he just doesn’t do anything. I mean, is it me? Is there something wrong with me?”

I look down at my hands, my tears and cries unpreventable. 

“Darling, no. Absolutely not. You’re beautiful. Look at you.”

She brings her hand up to place hair behind my ear, smiling at me as she does so.

“Just talk to him, yeah? There might be something on his mind.”

I nod, wiping the tears away from under my eyes. I give her a small smile, wiping off any makeup that could have possibly smudged before I make my way back to Harry.

He smiles when he sees me, kissing my softly. His touch is intoxicating, and, God, how i want to kiss him on every inch of his skin. My love, my handsome love, maybe tonight will be our night.

Dinner was beautiful. Everything was so elegant. Even the aroma was something I’ve never experienced before. And being with Harry’s family was nothing but welcoming. I am so comfortable around them, everything they do is done with such kindness.

“I had a wonderful time, Harry.” I smile, beaming at the events that just unfolded.

You, my angel,” Harry whispers, “look breathtaking tonight. I couldn’t stop looking at you.”

I smile, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. He deepens the kiss, gripping onto my hips, his hands wandering to the zipper of my dress. I sigh contently, my lips wrapping around his, our tongues dancing against each others. His fingers fiddle with the zipper before my dress pools at my ankles, which I immediately step out of. 

This feels different. It feels like it’s actually going somewhere. I feel him giving me something passionate, something with meaning and love. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I met him, since I knew he was the one for me. And now that it’s happening, I can’t get enough. I’m so needy of him, and there’s no reason to deny that.

I slip his suit jacket off of his shoulders, my fingers urgently opening up the buttons of his shirt. `I kiss the new exposed skin, the tips of my nails lightly scratching down his sides.

He grips my head in his hands, lifting me up so that he can kiss me again.

“Alright, angel, off to bed.”

My mouth drops open, my entire body halting once the words escape his lips. He turns around to undress the rest of him, slipping on a pair of sweatpants. His muscles flex as he ties his hair up, continuing on as if nothing had just happened.

“Is there something wrong with me, Harry?” I whisper.

Harry turns to look at me, his eyes immediately gleaming with sympathy. Grabbing my hands as softly as he can, he leans in to quickly kiss my forehead.

“Baby, why would you ask me that?”

I look down, choking out soft cries as I try to make myself sound less greedy than I seem.

“Because you won’t sleep with me!” I shout. “I try almost every night to make love to you and I—I don’t get anything from you. I spent so much time tonight to try and get you to do something. It’s tearing me down, Harry. It’s tearing me down so much. This can’t work if you aren’t attracted to me.”

He looks dumbfounded, completely in shock when I’m done with what I said. He looks scared in a way, guilty, almost saddened by the words I spoke. He stutters, his hands losing a grip on mine to push his hair back, almost out of nervousness.

“Baby, I—“

“Why don’t you show me you love me?” I sob.

He swallows harshly, his sentence gone unfinished. His eyes show desperation, plea, but it’s clear that whatever he had to say was nothing I want to hear.

I drop his hands from mine, nodding understandingly. It’s clear I’m nothing he wants, nothing he needs. I’m far from his expectations, it makes me wonder why he held on for so long.

“O—okay.” I mumble. “I get it.”

I wipe the tears from my face. I can’t believe this is happening here, at this time, in this place, but it is, and I have to pretend I’m okay for at least another day.
I turn away from him, almost turning to look back, just to see if he’d fight for me.

“Wait, Y/n, please.” Harry begs, his voice unsteady. 

I stop my movements, waiting for him to say more, but I refuse to look at him. I can feel him coming closer to me, his radiancy filling my lungs. His fingertips graze my shoulder slightly, almost as if he’s contemplating to completely reach for me. 

I suck in a breath, letting his soft touch invade me.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers before his touch leaves me.

Night series: My Place

My Place | Joe Sugg | imagine
Night series are a little thing I’ll be doing today because of The Vamps’ new album, Night & Day. It will be 7 imagines, one new song for each Buttercream boy, and you can check them here.
A/N: I was pretty skeptical in matching Joe to My Place, because Joe is my fav of the Buttercream and My Place is one of my favorite songs from Night & Day as well, so I thought it was my personal opinion getting in the way, but I really think that… Well, Joe is the older one and he seems to understand that love isn’t perfect and loving someone isn’t being happy all the time, it’s choosing that person after every fight, after every smile and laughter, choosing that person after all. That being said, I hope you all enjoy this imagine :)

⇢ Buttercream masterlist can be found here

“Joe, it is serious! For fuck’s sake, can you be serious for a single moment?” You asked him, pissed. You were trying your best to keep your voice down low, because you two were in the middle of the supermarket and you didn’t want to drag attention to both of you.

He laughed. “Are you fucking serious, Y/N? You can’t be mad at me because of this.”

You looked at him and rolled your eyes, deciding to not have that discussion there in that moment, knowing that if you two kept that going, you would lost your track and the whole city would watch you transforming yourself into a volcano, exposing that Joe Sugg had a girlfriend (probably you would be his ex by that time). “Fine.” You said at last. “I’ll pick the milk.” You informed, even though you were heading to the bread section and not the milk one.

Joe exhaled his breath heavily, you were being ridiculous. College was driving you insane and for the last couple months you were stressed out for every tiny thing that crossed your way, Joe was almost done with you. Maybe you two should split and leave that whole shit behind you. You could go and finish your graduation the way you wanted to be, he could go and… And… And do whatever he needed to do. He worked a lot and had his own issues to handle.

“Hey, you are Joe Sugg, aren’t you?” A girl asked him, rescuing Joe from his thoughts.

“Huh? Sorry, love, what?” He wasn’t paying much attention.

“Are you ThatcherJoe? From the Youtube channel?”

Joe looked one last time for you while you were stepping away, damn Y/N, before focusing on his fan and smiling. “Yeah.”

“Can I have a picture with you? Sorry to bother.”

“No, of course you can, it’s no bother.”

Joe was looking through the alcohol part of the supermarket, watching you talk to Y/F/N from a few meters away. She lived with her fiancee in the same neighborhood as Joe, so you always met her when you and Joe went out to do stuff in that area.

You loved her, however you had that smile on your face, that specific smile that you didn’t know that you had, but you did and Joe was the only one on Earth that could recognize it. You seemed to be having a lovely talk, but Joe knew that, in the back of your head, you were replaying the discussion. It wasn’t on the proper smile, it was something that you had in between your eyebrows that made him know you were slightly annoyed.

He was furious, he was tired. He didn’t want to deal with you being nervous about your studies with him, he didn’t have nothing to do with that and it wasn’t his fault that your teachers were crazy. Blame them, Y/N, not Joe. And, then, something passed through his mind.

You should be furious, you should be tired. He knew college wasn’t what he wanted to do, but you did and you worked hard for be in one.

Once you finished high school, you knew you needed to get out from your parent’s house, working to survive and find time for study as well. Somehow, in between the activities of your busy life, you met Joe and you weren’t prepared for a relationship. He didn’t have to deal with all your occupied life, still, it was inevitable. He would look at you with that smile of him and you would automatically smile too. The only reason he smiled the way he did was because of the sight of you.

Joe sighed. You were throwing bullshit at him all the week long and, well, he could handle that a little more. You were worth it, you two together were worth it.

He walked towards the conversation he was observing for a while and hugged your back. You immediately smiled and, while he leaned his head up yours, the little something in between your eyebrows vanished.

“Good morning!” You exclaimed to a sleepy Joe.

You had a wide smile in your face and held a mug with coffee in your right hand as you entered his bedroom.

“Why are you awake? It’s Saturday morning, woman. It’s weekend, have a break.” He complained, rolling in bed.

You went sit besides him, putting your open laptop on your lap to continue your text. Joe stood on his side of the mattress grumbling.

“You didn’t let me finish this work yesterday, so I have to do it now.” You explained, smiling still.

Joe smirked and gave you a side look. “Don’t say you don’t enjoy after-fight sex.”

You shrugged, hiding your own smirk. “I enjoy all types of sex, you know.”

“Yes, I know that.” He said with a laugh, seeming to be ready to finally wake up. “By the way, I loved the way you pulled off the Sugg merch.”

You laughed while typing, knowing he was only looking for your exposed legs. “The hoodies you guys make are quite comfy. I’ll send a feedback praising the quality of this.”

You decided to switch your position and, when you did that, the mug you held turned, spiting the brown liquid all over the sheets. You sighed.

“Y/N!” Joe exclaimed.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” You said, breathing heavily as you putted all the things you held on the bedside table. “Oh, fuck, why everything is going wrong in my life? I just need to finish this damn work. I’m just a piece of shit, aren’t I? I can’t even take a sip of coffee without messing my boyfriend’s bed, what’s wrong with me?”

Joe watched you having a break down, surprised. It was only a simple stain, he didn’t want you to feel that guilty. Maybe you were even more stress than he thought. He hugged you.

“Hey, calm down, love.”

You took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

He gave a soft laugh. “It’s alright, we can just put it in the washing machine afterwards.” Joe kissed your head. “It’s okay.”

“Sorry for being a bitch with you these days.” You felt tears flooding your eyes. “I’m so tired and I think the PMS is kicking in.” You admitted.

Joe laughed for real this time. “That’s fine, Y/N. You just need a break.”

“I feel bad now.” You sighed again, looking the stain.

“It’s just coffee, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but I’m frustrated. You know, I’m in college and, not being able to drinking something properly? Am I some sort of bimbo who is desperate for find some uprising youtuber?”

Joe rolled his eyes, knowing that you just wanted to light the mood a little, even though he didn’t approve that kind of joke. “I know that you are some sort of youtuber’s girlfriend.”

“Oh, yeah?” You asked. “Girlfriend? Who am I dating?”

“I don’t know the guy really, ThachingJonas or something.” Joe said with a smile while he approached his face to yours.

“Isn’t TrackerJohn?” You smiled as well by his lips so close to yours.

“I guess.” He whispered, before finally kissing you.

When you two stopped kissing, you sighed a different kind of sigh, it was a “I’m in love” one. “Thank you.”

Joe still had his arms around you. “You’re welcome.” He grimaced. “Hey, Y/N, when is the deadline of your writing thing?”

“Later this week, why?” You were confuse.

“Because… Hum… I had a lovely dream and… How do you feel about early morning sex?” He asked with a little smirk.

You smirked for real. “Well, Joseph… I enjoy all types of sex.”

Someone knocked the door. You grumbled, too tired to answer it.

“Are you waiting for someone?” You asked your boyfriend and, by his frowning, you could tell he wasn’t.


“I’ll answer that then.” You gave up when heard the knock again, getting up from the bed and putting the pink hoodie on once more.

A few minutes passed and Joe started getting worried about you, so he decided to get up to see what was going on. He putted his boxers on and went downstairs.

Joe could tell that it was Mrs. Grimaldi, the pain in the ass neighbor he had from the other floor and she was probably complaining about something with you. She almost held you two for an entire day just because she wanted to protest about a party it was given down street. It wasn’t even in their building, for God’s sake!

“Yeah, I’m so sorry about the noise. I guess me and Joe just got caught up in the moment, I didn’t mean to be that loud, but I think you know what I mean…” You were explaining with your voice of fake-education, Joe smiled. He couldn’t believe you were actually saying that.

“Of course I don’t!” The woman told you. “Please, it’s none of my busyness what you two do. Actually, it’s none of the building’s busyness! We don’t want to know!”

You were getting sick of that lady. Joe said she was a pain in the ass, but you knew she was actually after your boyfriend. You could swear for your life, one day, she was even starring his booty. And that one time she was lamenting about a party someone had around the block, it was only so she could be touching Joe’s arm every now and then. You loved your man, but he didn’t even have much muscles in there! She could take her little hands and…

“I will try to keep quiet, Mrs. Grimaldi, but I can’t promise that really. Joe likes when I scream and keep things dirty are quite fun. You should try anytime.”

Oh, now you were being rude, Y/N. Joe thought, just before hugging you. “Hey, babe, what’s going on?”

Mrs. Grimaldi blushed by seeing Joe in his underwear. She was about to keep her speech of “you are a young loud couple” when he interrupted you two.

“Er… Okay then. Thank you for being so comprehensive, Y/N.”

Your smile grew bigger for seeing her so uncomfortable, Joe gave a weak laugh. Unbelievable.

“Anytime, Mrs. Grimaldi!” You exclaimed. “I’m sorry for being inconvenient! If it was all, you may excuse us, but me and Joe have some… Activities to finish now.” You concluded, leaving the woman speechless and closing the door.

You jumped in Joe’s lap and he held you. You kissed him. That lady just made you think how much you were happy for having Joe. He could be with any other person of that city, somehow he kept choosing you. You would choose him any and every time too.

“I guess that you won’t be able to finish your work right in this moment, then.” Joe commented, making you laugh.

“Weren’t you saying I need a break?

allez-argeiphontes  asked:

My eyes lit up when you mentioned Quaker post-WS Bucky... any headcanons you feel like sharing? I'm from a Quaker background and I feel it influences so much of my (and my family's) thinking but it's hard to articulate because the past two generations have been non-religious and haven't framed it that way. But their tolerance and non-violence definitely feels Quaker to the core. It's ok if you don't feel like sharing, I just don't come across many Quaker-identified ppl and you've made me think..

oh my god. So this is the ask of my dreams and I’m gonna get WAY in depth here because I have a lot of feelings.

first and foremost, I have to rec from winter, a boundless spring by @notcaycepollard because it features quaker!Bucky who is soft and gorgeous (just like the fic). Also, Vanessa is a member of Quaker Club along with me and @yawpkatsi and now you if you want to be!! Join us, we are small in numbers and (thanks to me and lisa) high in kinks. 

Second, I’m used to people not knowing what being a Quaker is all about, so I’m going to just provide a teeny bit of info. The Quaker religion, like many religions, is different everywhere you go. I grew up in the old, Philadelphian Quaker church. Rumor has it that the Californian Quakers even have guns. Quakers believe in non-violence and passivity to the point where it can actually be harmful. My mother used to tell me to ‘turn the other cheek’. I am just recently unlearning that but I still to this day have a problem watching/ being exposed to lots of violence (the marvel movies are about as hardcore as I can get). Quakers also never posses or own weapons of any kind, even child’s toys. As a child I was not allowed to even play with a water gun. 

So let’s bring post-WS Bucky into this. 

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waylandheat  asked:

Hi J.S. Park! I've been reading your book "What the Church Won't Talk about..." because I am currently struggling a lot with stuff and on top of that feeling a very dry season with God. I honestly love reading through your thoughts and stories on tumblr, and reading through this book has brought me a renewed perspective on things- so thank you J.S. Park for being a light in so many lives! I don't know if you have written anywhere on it before- but have you ever shared your thoughts on shame?

Hey dear friend, thank you so much for your encouragement and your kind words. I really needed them today; it’s been a discouraging time. Also the book you’re referring to is here for anyone interested:

Here are a few thoughts about shame:

1) Shame is a very poor motivation for long-term change.

Shame is that sick physical feeling of being washed through with a debilitating shiver; emotionally it can be an internal bomb of embarrassment, grief, anger, or regret; psychologically it feels like losing self-worth and value. We try to escape this feeling as much as we can—it’s an awful, nauseating, dizzying flush that your entire body recognizes on impact.

Shame is socially weaponized to coerce others into “doing the right thing.” Other times, it’s just to make someone feel like a terrible person, like they could never do any good. In the best case scenario, “shaming” would create the desire to reflect and change their ways for the better. It provokes a sort of social conformity in which you must fall in line for the common benefit of everyone else.

You can see shame tactics being weaponized everywhere. Think of every “public shaming” blog, made famous first by Tumblr, that calls out your fave celebrities for being problematic or mocks the guy who uses the entire four-chair table at Starbucks. Think of books like Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother or movies like Whiplash. Think of the model who was recently charged for “fat-shaming” (the actual charge was invasion of privacy, and rightly so). Think of this recent method to help quit smoking, in which if you relapse, you donate the amount of money you’ve saved off cigarettes to a campaign that you hate (this combines shame with aversion). Think of a typical evangelical preacher, who uses fear, shame, and fire-and-brimstone to manipulate you into “getting right with God.” Think of terms like “slut-shaming, virgin-shaming, gay-shaming”—and the list goes on. 

In the short term, some studies show that shame can make change. However, other studies show that shame is destructive and does permanent long-term damage

I believe that shame doesn’t really work as a motivation for long-term change. All it does is modify behavior to look like it’s conforming, without actually getting to the root of the issue. 

For a great talk about shame and vulnerability, watch Brene Brown’s TED Talk, the most watched TED Talk of all time. Her research is the absolute seminal work on this topic.

2) Shame and guilt are two entirely different things.

You’ve probably heard this by now, but guilt is saying, “I did something bad,” while shame is saying, “I am bad.”

It sounds like splitting hairs, but our approach to both can have entirely different outcomes. 

If we can adapt to guilt—”I did something bad”—then we can focus on the how and why of the behavior and even internally change our motivations. 

If we adapt to shame—”I am bad”—then there’s no room to look at how and why we do things, and instead can only use punishment and external deprivation to make change. This is turn only makes us craftier and more likely to suppress our true motivations without changing them.

We’ve all seen this before. You can have two people who attend church sit side-by-side who look exactly the same: they show up on time, they donate to charity, they bring coffee and donuts, they read their Bible everyday, they mow your lawn for free. But one is motivated by the anxiety of possible punishment and always compensating for a terrible gap inside them, as if they’ll always be found out. The other is motivated by doing good purely for the good in itself.

Of course, our motives are very messy and never this clear-cut. We could be a blend of both. But the next time you mess up, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Do you feel guilt or remorse or even anger about the thing you did? That’s more or less normal. Or do you disproportionately beat yourself up and wish you could disappear for a week? There’s probably buried shame that’s been carved into you by condemning voices over a lifetime—and really that’s no fault of your own. Many of us have been indoctrinated since birth to only respond to shame, and so we’ve become maladaptive.

3) Shame, despite its damage and ineffectiveness, still points to something deep and true.

I believe shame points to something very real about our human nature: that we know something is desperately missing inside, and we need no less than the divine to be made whole. Underneath our attempts at glamour and glory and prestige, we’re dreadfully naked underneath. The feeling of shame, whether that feeling has come about by right or wrong methods, points to our constant imperfection, that visceral longing that we’re always reaching for something just outside our reach.

So when someone says, “Don’t shame me!” or “Shame doesn’t work,” they’re absolutely right. Shaming doesn’t address the actual need. It only bludgeons someone into good behavior, and only works as long as the bludgeon is there. When it’s not, the behavior just regresses and reverts. The human spirit is a rubber band, always trying to snap back into place.

But to say “Shame is a lie” is actually false. When someone shames someone else, they’re not creating a feeling, but exposing a feeling that points to a human truth. We fall short. We’re incomplete. We’re not whole. 

In other words, The person who does the shaming is in the wrong and it won’t work. The person who feels the shame should recognize that this feeling points to a deep human need for wholeness and goodness, and should not ignore these implications.

4) As a Christian, I believe that Christianity both exposes and solves our shame problem.

On one hand, it’s too easy to say “shame is bad and evil,” as if the feeling itself must be banned from culture. The thing is, a world without any shame would be a dang shame. If you swing the pendulum too far this way, then there’s no accountability or justice—and in my opinion, I think it’s become harder to find people who can genuinely admit, “I was wrong, I’m sorry, and I hold myself accountable to doing better,” and then following through. Socially and politically, it seems almost impossible these days for anyone to embrace their shame as a reality which must be confronted. 

On the other hand, everyone lives with shame, and it’s a terrorizing, anxious burden in the basement of our hearts, often filling us with such dread that we 1) over-work ourselves to death, 2) hide our true selves under a mask of smiling conformity, 3) reinforce our pride to avoid any self-correction, or 4) stay terrified in the dark of making any moves at all. All these options end in spiritual implosion.

In the Christian worldview, shame points to my sin, and sin is the human condition of both my selfishness and emptiness. When I feel shame, it’s simply one more thread that traces back to the very real problem of humanity. 

In a perfect Garden, we once had no shame at all, because we had all the wholeness and validation we could ever want. But ever since our disconnection from God, we’ve all been clawing back to Eden, and sometimes, someone points at us and laughs. The pointing and mocking are wrong, but the clawing is our very real struggle for the divine love we once had. It is, like Genesis 3 says, a kind of curse, or perhaps a poisoned sickness, in which we’re trying to find the remedy. And culture says, Do this and that and the feeling of shame will stop. But it never stops. It only changes the behavior and not our nature. 

When Jesus died on a cross, he was exposing the high cost of our sin. This is what it takes to claw back to Eden—you’d have to beat yourself up to the point of bloody shreds. Jesus placed himself under the cost of our curse, so that now and eternally, we’d know that our shame was revoked. He did this out of love, but even better, out of grace, a costly love. When Jesus resurrected, this was showing he didn’t just pay a cost, but he also wants an eternal relationship, a relationship without shame. Think of that. He not only died for sin, but came back to live with us, walk alongside us, love us into who we could truly be.

Think of every other relationship you’ve ever had, whether it was with a person, with money, beauty, reputation, sports team, housing association, government, church, career. If you fail those things, they will shame you, and even if you change for them, they have you by the neck, and you’ll still feel unfulfilled. It’s a constant balancing act with unstable, unpredictable forces. These idols promise wholeness, but crush you the second you fail.

With Christ, if you fail him, he’s already taken the shame. He’s already forgiven you. And when you follow him, he actually fulfills you. There’s not an ounce of punishment or penalty in him towards you. He is purely grace. His love is such that, if you mess up, he already knew it was coming, and so instead of compensating for all the mess before, you can actually become who you are meant to be in Him now. No other person, philosophy, system, or interaction offers such grace when you fail. 

And only grace, in the end, is the pure motivation that causes true heart transformation. It may take longer, but that’s why it’s grace. Shame is like laying down bricks that never grow, but only keep shape. Grace is like planting seeds, that push through the dirt to the sun, so that your whole being is different. With shame, you only change for what it looks like. With grace, you change because you want to, because you can’t help but look at a savior and be tenderized and galvanized towards His goodness.


anonymous asked:

Hope this isn't a bother but i've been a bit down, I was wondering how the main 4 Paps and Sans' would react to an s/o who's gone through a lot of emotional abuse at the hands of friends and family, and is a little paranoid about trusting people for it?

I’m sorry this took so long school’s been kind of a pain in the ass. Also, I don’t have much personal experience with emotional abuse, so hit me up if I get something tragically wrong

I’d like to take this time to make a distinction. The skelebros are not perfect. They will not always handle your mental issues in the healthiest way. But they care about you. A lot. 

Also…..I don’t think I’ve written enough detail to be triggering, and I’m tagging it obviously, but if any of you guys need it I’m happy to put this under a cut

UT!Sans: “a little paranoid about trusting people”….yeah, could be the title of his biography honestly. Different reasons, but he knows what its like to have a hard time opening up, to worry that other people can’t be trusted with all the hurt inside. He doesn’t push you to be open, he just tries to be worthy of your trust, by being there as much as he can. It sucks that people in your past have been like this, but he hopes he and his friends can take care of your present and future.

UT!Papyrus: He doesn’t understand as….personally as his brother does, but he knows how to deal with it. A lifetime with Sans has taught him he doesn’t have the right to pry into every door. And sometimes, yeah, he asks questions when he shouldn’t, he pushes too much. But in general he tries to respect your boundaries. He doesn’t bring up your family if you don’t, but in his own way, he’s trying to make up for them by being the best he can for you.

UF!Sans: He understands baggage. He’s got a lot of his own. There’s an unspoken rule between the two of you that you don’t ask questions about each other’s past. If one of you volunteers information, that’s fine, you comfort each other, are there for each other. But in general both of you prefer to act like the world didn’t really exist before you met each other. Its not necessarily healthy, but its what works for you, at least. 

UF!Papyrus: Your family pisses him off a LOT. Ironic, considering his history with Sans (what they had wasn’t quite emotional abuse but there were points where it wasn’t far off) but then we always do hate the sins that we see in ourselves. Every time he finds out you’ve been internalizing shit, every time he tries to be genuine with you and you can’t respond as you want, because there is a part of you that cannot be sure of his intentions no matter how much you want to be… makes him want to hurt them. Badly. But he does his best to be there for you. To understand when you need to withdraw. To know that its not a reflection on him when you struggle to trust. And to give you your space when you need it.

US!Sans: He’s an intuitive guy. Even before you told him he kind of sensed that it was something to that effect. He picked up pretty fast that there was a lot you didn’t feel comfortable saying or doing with him, things that you didn’t feel okay telling him. He doesn’t really do it as much himself, but like Tale Sans he kind of understands the need to keep things to yourself. That’s part of why he developed his cheerful demeanor. It made it easier to mask that sometimes being treated like everyone’s little brother really got to him. So he knows better than to confront it directly. He goes at it from the side, more subtlety than usual. He just does his best to make you feel as protected and safe as possible. He makes a point of listening to you when you talk, responding to it no matter how inane the comment. It may upset him that you may never feel ready to be totally open with him, but until you’re ready he wants to make sure you know he’s listening.

US!Papyrus: ever met someone where you’ve only known them for a few days but somehow they’ve got you spilling life secrets that even your close friends don’t know? Paps is one of those people. In your case it takes more than his usual effort, but he’s good at getting you to open up, and he’s pretty good about respecting boundaries when he can’t. In general he’s okay with however much you’re comfortable sharing, and won’t talk about your family if you won’t.

SF!Sans: To be perfectly honest, he doesn’t understand why its so hard for you to trust him. He may be the terrible and Maleficent Sans, but don’t you believe him by now that he would never hurt you like that?! It’ll take him some time to understand, and when he does, it just makes him pissed at those people in your past. But slowly he becomes very good at giving you your space when you need it. In many ways Papyrus has some similar needs, and while the situations aren’t exactly the same he learns to apply some of the skills he learned with his brother to yours and his. He won’t always hit it out of the park, but above all he won’t hurt you intentionally. In his mind its his job to protect you from people like that in your life, not be one of them

SF!Papyrus: He’s probably the most okay with the need to isolate since he does that a shit-ton himself. As for the trust issues…..well, ot him trust is a two-way street. Once he gets comfortable about you, he starts being more open, about his past, his emotions, etc. Nothing too big or overwhelming, he won’t use you as a therapist or anything. But when the moment is right he’ll let you in just a little more, let himself be just a little more vulnerable with you. He’s hoping that him being exposed like this will help you feel more comfortable around him, especially with the vulnerable stuff. If that time never comes, its fine, he can’t fix everything for you. But he wants you to know that its okay. That you don’t need to spill your guts for him to know that you love him. And that he knows that your family has screwed you up deeply, and that he’s willing to deal with the sacrifices they foisted upon both of you because of it.

Don’t think twice

Fareeha had never really thought about her sexuality.

It wasn’t like she had actively avoided the topic, but more like she had never really had a reason to think about it. She had from a young age been too focused on her goal – to join Overwatch; to change the world; to make her mother proud – so the fact that she had never really confronted the fact that she sometimes found girls just as pretty as boys wasn’t an issue.

The years had passed and she had had her fair share of boyfriends and male lovers, all beautiful and strong and heart fluttering in their own ways, and the stray woman who had caught her attention enough to turn her head had always been dismissed as just some deeply rooted female appreciation of the woman’s flawless makeup, or her way of dressing herself, or the way her plush lips would curl up at the corners when she smiled. There was never really an issue, so why would she make it one?

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anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Saiouma as a ship? I don't particularly like it because Ouma has to suffer with an unrequited love for a detective who doesn't come around to his way of thinking before he d i e s and also thought of him as a villain goddamn it saihara

Haha, I’m actually a pretty avid saiouma shipper—it’s my favorite ship of any DR game, really. It’s one of those things where I can understand why it didn’t work out because of the problems that arise in canon, but I can’t help being particularly invested in all the potential it could have had under different circumstances.

Saihara’s lack of understanding can be frustrating, certainly, but it’s also something that’s necessary from a plot perspective. Kodaka so obviously wanted to craft Ouma into a “catbox” character, someone whose intentions and motivations were kept secret to the end, in order to give players a reason to go back and replay the game and try to pick up hints they might not have noticed before.

Ouma himself wanted to remain an enigma to the very end. It’s not entirely Saihara’s fault that he couldn’t crack the “mystey” that Ouma was, when Ouma himself was making it so intentionally difficult for him.

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20 Questions with Dr Ferox #12

I am beyond tired folks, struggling to set by body clock back after a night shift again. It’s a peculiar mix of grunge and headache without having done anything super fun to deserve it, so my apologies if I’m a little slow on the uptake.

But here I have 20 more questions and comments you’ve sent me, so lets get into them. I have tried to tag the question askers, but if you asked on Anon then you’ll have to look through yourself to see if you’ve been answered yet.

Anonymous said: How is Lucifer doing? Are you still seeing him? I checked the archives, but I didn’t see any updates past a point and I was curious about the bunbun.

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anonymous asked:

Morning after drabble?

;; yes please♡

Katsuki was the first to wake up, as usual. His eyes fluttered open, as he woke up from the sun shining through the window of his bedroom. The room was still and quiet; save for the soft breathing that was coming from Izuku who was beside him. 
Katsuki rolled onto his side to face his freckled boyfriend, and he couldn’t help the smirk that started tugging at his lips.

There beside him, was his Izuku. His bare skin was exposed where the blanket wasn’t covering, and the hickies that Katsuki had put there were painted beautifully along Izuku’s neck and chest. It was a perfect site– knowing Izuku was claimed as his own, and no other fucker would dare to question otherwise.

Katsuki started to replay the images of last night in his head, while he admired the other. The sound of Izuku’s pleasurable moans, Izuku’s face of desperation and lust when he stared into Katsuki’s eyes, the way he seductively whispered Katsuki’s name with a whimper…

“Fucking sexy, Deku.” Katsuki muttered to himself, and he could feel himself getting excited just from the thoughts. Quickly, he tried to shake it off. He couldn’t allow himself to get turned on so early in the morning, especially when Izuku would wake up soon. Unfortunately, he knew he would’t be able to just shove his dick in his ass for a second round as soon as he woke up. Izuku would still be tired from last night wouldn’t he? Even though the thought /was/ tempting.

He shook his head once again in attempts to erase the thoughts. Instead, he’d focuse on other things. 
So, Katauki continued to admire his Izuku.
The peaceful aura about him as he laid there asleep. The beautiful freckles that were peppered over his cheeks; such a charming feature that was personally, one of Katsuki’s favorites. Then there was the way Izuku’s lips were parted slightly, with a small amount of drool that leaked down his cheek.

Cute. Too Fucking cute.

A smile crept onto Katsuki’s lips then– a rare sight to see, even to Izuku. Even though Izuku was the only one who could ever make him smile like that in the first place. The ash-blonde lifted his free hand up; the one that wasn’t occupied by supporting his head while he laid on his side. He moved it forward and brushed it through the curly green locks, wondering how he got so lucky to have someone like Izuku. How he was forgiven so easily. How Izuku seemed to forget about all the hurtful and painful things that were said to him, by his life-time partner. 

His once joyous smile, suddenly twisted into something else. It wasn’t just sadness, but sort of a mix of all negative emotions.

Regret. That’s the biggest one. Fuck.. 
Sadness, self-hatred, anger. Dammit. Shit. Why was I such an ass?

Katsuki had been so absorbed in his thoughts, he didn’t even realize Izuku had woken up, and was staring at him. 
Green hues studied his features, curious. Izuku tugged the blanket down subtly then, just enough so he could wiggle his arm free from the covers. It lifted slowly, and with out a warning he pressed his pointer finger in between Katsuki’s creased eyebrows.

“Why are you looking like that, Kacchan..” Izuku said softly, trying to massage the stressed wrinkle that formed every time Katsuki was thinking too much, or angry in general. 

“What–” Katsuki blinked, waking up from his unpleasant daydream. “What the fuck, Deku? When the hell did you wake up??” He questioned in his typical annoyed tone, and pulled away the hand that was intertwined with Izuku’s hair. He lifted it up then and batted Izuku’s finger away. Forcefully, but not enough to cause any damage. 

“Just a few moments ago..” The freckled boy hummed quietly, still trying to wake up from his relaxing slumber. “..What are you thinking about so early?” He rolled his body slowly to lay on his stomach, not minding that the blanket had slipped off in the process. His eyes fell shut again, only for a moment, before they opened once more. His wide green eyes stared intently at Katsuki, as if begging for him to speak. “Well?” 

“It doesn’t fuckin matter.” Katsuki grumbled, as his eyes shifted from Izuku’s face to his exposed back, and then down to his perfect ass. So perfect. Bruises from Katsuki’s hard grip lingered there, and it excited him. Everything on Izuku’s impeccable body was his. From those messy curls, to his sexy body, and down to those cute toes. 

“Don’t make me force you Kacchan~” Izuku smiled gently, and spoke in a teasing manor. It sounded like he issued a challenge, though he knew right away that Katsuki would beat around the bush. He’d somehow find a way to avoid the questioning–Somehow he always did. But Izuku supposed it may be okay to let it slip for now. If Katsuki didn’t wish to speak about it, then pushing the topic would only make him pissed off. 
He could see Katsuki roll his eyes at the empty threat, and the frown that had been plastered on his face moments ago steadily turned into a smirk. Izuku tilted his head, curiosity taking over him once again. There was definitely a different wave of thoughts swarming Katsuki’s head, but what kind was the question. Reading Katsuki was always so difficult..

“You’re really wondering what the hell I was thinking? I was thinking how fuckable your ass looks right now.” The ash-blonde’s smirk only grew when he saw the blush spread across his boyfriend’s face.


“What- you put it right out in the open.” He added then, before scooting himself closer to Izuku. “That, and.. I was thinkin about how much I love you..” 
The sudden change in context left Izuku staring blankly. How could Katsuki go from a crude comment to something endearing in such a short amount of time?
Seeing that Izuku didn’t reply right away, Katsuki took it as an invitation to keep going. “I love you.. I’m shitty with words, so I don’t tell you it a lot.. But I fucking love you a lot..” 

And I was thinking about how much you mean to me.. About how I wanna protect you from everything. I want you to be mine forever. I don’t want you to leave me… Ever. 

He couldn’t manage to voice the rest of his thoughts about Izuku. They were too hard to say out loud.. It was weird for him to say sappy things, and even if he tried it wouldn’t come out right. So instead, he kept it short and sweet. Surely he would show Izuku how much he cared for him. He could do that, and he could show him through his affection and actions how badly he needed him, right? He couldn’t fuck that up. He couldn’t-

Suddenly his thoughts were paused again, when a familiar pointer finger was pushed firmly between his eyebrows. 

“I love you too, Kacchan..” Izuku smiled with his words, and made sure to look Katsuki in the eyes as he spoke. Before he started again, his finger lowered down. “I love you.. more than the world. More than everything.. I don’t think I could be happy with out you beside me..” His voice was so gentle, so calming as he spoke. As if he could read Katsuki’s thoughts and was trying to soothe him. Katsuki’s lips pursed for a moment before he spoke up again. 

“..No matter what..?” His voice was hushed then. His red hues lowered, to avoid looking into Izuku’s green ones. He didn’t feel he had the right to. Despite all their constant exchange of ‘I love you’s’ and love making, something inside Katsuki still didn’t feel worthy of being beside Izuku. The guilt of the past haunted him, and he would get these thoughts mostly after a night of intimacy. Because he felt he didn’t deserve to see that side of Izuku. He didn’t think he deserved to see that blissful smile, or hear those longing cries for his name. 

Izuku didn’t reply right away, and it caused Katsuki’s stomach to churn unpleasantly. There was an ache forming in his chest, and he was about to part his lips to speak again, when he was cut off by the other’s lips. 
Crimson eyes widened at the contact, staying still for a moment, before he let his eyelids fall closed. He returned the kiss tentatively, before Izuku pulled away. He sat propped up on his elbows now, looking at Katsuki with a soft gaze. 

“Kacchan, I’ll love you. Forever, and ever. Okay? You don’t need to feel doubtful.. No matter what, I will love you..” Izuku began to press gentle kisses to Katsuki’s lips, before moving them to his nose, and cheeks. He kept his warm smile as he did so. “So no more sad faces this morning~ Instead let’s just kiss and stay in bed all day long!” His words were mumbled against Katsuki’s face, until he pulled back. His eyes were filled with such joy, such honesty– How could Katsuki doubt him? Giving a faint laugh, Katsuki’s frown faded again. It then grew into that familiar devilish smirk.

“Alright, Deku.” He said. “You asked for it, though.” 

Izuku didn’t have time to let the words sink in, before Katsuki pressed him back against the mattress. The two began to share multiple kisses followed by bits of laughter in between.

Surely, Katsuki knew his regrets would resurface again, as they did often everyday. But he’d trust Izuku’s words, and feeling that regret made the special moments between them even more meaningful, to him.

anonymous asked:

Hi so I just went through your like analytical posts on trc and I noticed you seem to really like blue. The series for me started to get kids lackluster after tdt and one of the things that I think contributed to that was actually blue, not just plot-wise but character(isation)-wise too. I really absolutely adored her in trb - she stood up for herself, she was conscientious, and she was just really honest in fair way, if that makes any sense. Anyways I felt like she slowly became something (1/2)

Of a joke almost. It’s hard to describe but sometimes she came across as being like super offended over everything and reading too much into things. Sort of like how people go “oh sjws on tumblr.” I felt like she lost her depth and a lot of the time malggie only remembered this aspect of her and the fact that she was sensible. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense it’s really hard for me to put into words. I’m just wondering I you noticed any specific differences in early and late blu e (2/2)

sorry for my delay in answering this, I saw it a couple days ago on mobile and haven’t been on the computer much. this response would be more informed if i’d actually get around to my reread haha, so just now that i haven’t reread in a while and as such my memory isn’t the freshest. also i’m incapable of answering asks succinctly so BUCKLE UP

i def think that blue was sidelined a lot. she was introduced as the main character, our entry point into the series, but in the end didn’t really get to do much, and it ended up not being her story as much as the others’. that said, i guess the main thing I disagree with in your message is that it was only in trb that blue was at her best. we often consider bllb to be adam’s book but imo blue was great in bllb, and i think that book probably has the most in-depth exploration of blue. in bllb we see blue without her mother, with things in her life changing rapidly (her relationship with gansey; her position in the gangsey; noah’s state of being; her family unit, with maura’s disappearance and persephone’s death and the gray man) and kind of struggling to deal with all that, and i personally found it effective.

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