then they would flip a coin

Married with Benefits (Part 5)

Summary: In order to not pay out-of-state tuition, you ask your friend, Steve Rogers, to marry you. Things, as always, never go as planned. (College AU)

Word Count: 605

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: Come scream with me :)

Originally posted by your-kylie-me

It felt more eventful than it actually was when Steve pulled up to his building. Taking a deep breath as you took in the four-story condominium, you wondered if what you were doing was the right thing? Would it have drastic consequences someday? Would you get caught and then Steve would have to pay for your stupid decision in order to not drown yourself in debt?

Your future-husband sidled up to you, lugging your suitcase along. He peered up at structure with his brow furrowed. “Something wrong?”

Shaking your head, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Are you really sure about this?”

“What?” When you looked at him, Steve looked perplexed at your inquiry.

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pretty dirty pick up lines.

’ you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend. ’
’ are you a drill sergeant? because you have my privates standing at attention. ’
’ do you mix concrete for a living? because you’re making me hard. ’
’ if you’re feeling down, i can feel you up. ’
’ i’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight. ’
’ i may not go down in history, but i’ll go down on you. ’
’ are you from the ghetto? cause i’m about to ghetto hold of dat ass. ’
’ you know what i like in a girl? my dick. ’
’ are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction. ’
’ i lost my virginity. can i have yours? ’
’ hey, you wanna do a 68? you go down on me, and i’ll owe you one. ’
’ you can call me cake, cause i’ll go straight to your ass. ’
’ roses are red, violets are fine. if i be the 6, will you be the 9? ’
’ i’m like a firefighter, i find ‘em hot and leave ‘em wet! ’
’ i’m hung like a tic tac. wanna freshen your breath? ’
’ you smell like trash. may i take you out? ’
’ i wanna floss with your pubic hair. ’
’ let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down. ’
’ you’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you! ’
’ are you spaghetti cause i want you to meat my balls. ’
’ we should play strip poker. you can strip, and I’ll poke you. ’
’ do you like adele? cause i can tell you wanna be rolling in the d. ’
’ do you have a shovel? cause i’m diggin’ that ass! ’
’ damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise. ’
’ remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later! ’
’ are you an elevator? cause i wanna go down on you. ’
’ are you a shark? cause i’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow. ’
’ do you work for papa johns? cause you’re a fine pizza ass. ’
’ are you from china? cause i’m china get in your pants. ’
’ why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight? ’
’ baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited! ’
’ i’m looking for treasure, can i look around your chest? ’
’ if i flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? ’
’ would you like a hotdog to go with those buns? ’
’ this may seem corny, but you make me really horny. ’
’ how about you make me the climax of your story? ’
’ that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open? ’
’ my name is skittles… wanna taste my rainbow? ’
’ you remind me of a crop, because i wanna plow you. ’

When your friend has been committing acts far past your moral boundaries and now she intends to fight an all-powerful being in the slight chance she will win however she is more likely to get everyone killed so you agree on a coin flip to decide if she should leave and as it drops it dawns upon you she will twist the fortune in her favour and that for once in your life you’re seeing more perspectives past the good and bad = black and white narrative while debating if it’d be morally right to sacrifice her life in place of the others that would live.

GOT7 reaction they don't think you speak Korean so they say something sexual to you and you reply in Korean


“Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that ass is calling me” “I could say the same for you” Mark would them burst out laughing embarrassed that you understood him 

Originally posted by morethangiulia


“If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head” “Not much sense you used a pick up line” “Um okay sooo you can understand me and why didn’t you tell me”

Originally posted by jehbum


“Those are nice pants mind if i test the zipper” “Sure go ahead I don’t mind “Wait you can understand me I have said so many pick up lines why haven't you said anything before"

Originally posted by j-miki


“My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties” “You are not wearing a watch though” “Wait..what..ummmm”’

Originally posted by jypnior


“Your ass looks lonely without my hands on it” “I could say the same” Youngjae would freeze before laughing “I knew that you could understand me”

Originally posted by holyfuckmark


“Don’t worry, I played tetris as a kid. I can make it fit” “You said you didn’t know tetris” “Why why at of all the times you deiced to understand me now”

Originally posted by mauloveskpop


“Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed” “Whats the first?” Goes blank turns around and drink water

Originally posted by markificent


~Admin Rosie

The Compliment Game

(Still writers blocked. Here’s an old story I’ve never posted before, it’s good but I always felt like it deserved a second part and could never come up with one. It works as a one shot but it just could be… y’know?) Eighth Year fic, 3K word count.

“Welcome to detention, lads,” Ruz Yarrow, their new Potions professor, said with a pleasant smile and a lovely Scottish lilt.

Draco kept his gaze locked on his hands in his lap. Harry bit his lip nervously. Professor Yarrow didn’t give detentions out often and they were rumored to the worst. Only no one would say what happened in them, and a bunch of kids with active imaginations only conjured the worst possible scenarios. It was all a little unsettling.

Professor Yarrow had that way about her. She was only five foot five and slight as a wisp, with curly brown hair that was almost always tied back, brown skin and eyes; and yet she was always a bit unnerving. It might have had something to do with the way she always seemed to be smiling like something delightfully awful was just about to happen. She was a very good teacher but took an inordinate amount of glee out of cauldron explosions. Sometimes she even caused them herself, as teaching examples. It was most of the student body’s opinion that the new Potions Professor had a very strange personality indeed.

Professor Yarrow circled around behind them, “See those cauldrons?” she stopped between their shoulders and pointed to the stack of cauldrons reaching the ceiling, stinking of sulfur and dragon liver.

They both nodded and relaxed just a touch, scrubbing cauldrons wasn’t that bad, it was sort of what was expected in a detention.

“Good,” Yarrow went on, “Keep them in mind now, y'hear? During this detention the two of y'are gonna play-” she paused, apparently for effect, “-a compliment game.”

“A what?!” They both blurted, turning around to stare up at her.

Professor Yarrow smiled that gentle unnerving smile of hers, as she walked around back in front of them, “Y'heard me. It’s simple, y'ken. Just take turns give'n each other compliments. If'n y'can’t, or y'say somethin’ a bit rude or cruel, y’ll washs a cauldron wit a dollop of elbow grease, while the rest of us watches you wit scorn and maybe mockery for bein’ a right silly bugger.”

Harry and Draco looked at each other with apprehension.

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send my muse a pick up line
  • We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
  • You might be asked to leave soon. You are making the other women look bad.
  • What do I have to do to be your booty call?
  • What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
  • With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren!
  • When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
  • Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  • Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  • Were do you hide your wings?
  • Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
  • Sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better?
  • You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material.
  • There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
  • Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
  • Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
  • Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
  • Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
  • Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
  • So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
  • We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
  • Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
  • Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the ‘d’ cause you’ll get that later!
  • Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
  • The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
  • So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
  • You make me wish I weren’t gay!
  • Writes on a napkin: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.”
  • The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
  • Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
  • What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too! Seems like we are soulmates.
  • Will you marry me for just one night?
  • Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  • The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
  • What are you doing tonight beside me?
  • Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  • Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted?
  • What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • You look like trash, may I take you out?

Next up in our album track by track is Dark Side of Your Room. A lot of time went into writing songs that would feel anthemic live. We knew the energy of this song would carry a good story, which became a reflection of heartbreak and lost causes. This song really leant itself to that notion, an anthem for the used and bruised, the other side of the coin that Drugs and Candy flipped. Every story here is a piece of my past, and this one is about being the butt of the joke in a time and a place I wasn’t ready for. Sometimes we chase people down roads we know we shouldn’t go down and wind up lost. For me, the lyric, “You made a fool of my heart,” is the most prominent in this song. It’s a reflection of genuine naivety, when a leap of faith becomes a hard fall. Get Last Young Renegade at and check back tomorrow for the next part of the track by track.

Being Sherlock and Mycroft’s Little Sister Would Involve

Requested by anon

Originally posted by charnamefic

  • Petty arguments with Sherlock about “trivial things” as Mycroft says but as soon as Mycroft tells you two to “Stop acting like children” you and Sherlock would turn on him. You imitating Mycroft, Sherlock with a quick comeback.
  • You’d be as smart as Sherlock but a little more absent minded. Sometimes you’d notice things that he wouldn’t but wouldn’t mention it because Sherlock probably already noticed and you’d just annoy him. Sherlock would soon realise you noticed different things so would start asking you.
  • They would both be very protective older brothers. Mycroft would be exhausted worrying about you both but he would know that if you and Sherlock went missing together you’d be fine.
  • Buying Sherlock Pirate themed birthday gifts every year. He raises an eyebrow at you but can’t help smiling when no one’s looking.
  • Buying Mycroft a keychain with an umbrella on it.
  • Often showing up to wherever Mycroft or Sherlock are because you’re “bored” and “need supervision, don’t I brother mine?”
  • Moriarty would get an interest in you. At first only to get to Sherlock but he quickly realises you’re quite interesting yourself. You’d tease him, mainly just to annoy Sherlock and Mycroft. Mycroft would “forbid” you from seeing him but you’d just laugh, knowing that wouldn’t work.
  • Sherlock calling you once to ask you for advice with Jeanine or Irene. He hung up because you wouldn’t stop laughing for three whole minutes.
    “Are you quite finished?”
    ‘Yes, sorry I just-” You burst into laughter again and Sherlock gives up.
  • When you were younger you’d be trying constantly to get their attention. You’d have learnt what interests them and would use this to your advantage. When you were in your teens, you would put yourself in slightly dangerous situations to get their attention. This would annoy Mycroft but amuse Sherlock.
  • They’d call you to settle their arguments. You’d flip a coin and give them a quick answer when you were preoccupied.
  • Teasing them, and receiving the same in return.
  • Learning to fight with a normal umbrella (without the sword) just to annoy Mycroft. He thinks it’s quite impressive.
  • John would at first think you were Sherlock’s girlfriend, or Mrs Hudson’s grand daughter. You’d think this was hilarious but Sherlock would just roll his eyes and carry on with the previous topic.
  • Sherlock worrying about you when you call him to say you’re bored. He picks you up and takes you on a case, knowing what you tend to do when you get bored.
  • Lestrade would be impressed by you. He’d quite enjoy talking to you. 
  • Even though Sherlock and Mycroft could be arrogant, petty and overprotective, you’d love them, and would be sure to remind them of this constantly (if only to make them uncomfortable).

Being Mycroft’s Daughter Would Include


Established relationship AUs are my kryptonite I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY OKAY

- I came home early from work to find you singing to the cat with a spatula as your microphone

- truth be told I only vacuum so I can slide around the hardwood floors in my socks

- you like naps. like, really like naps. and you take them everywhere pretty sure I saw you lying on the kitchen floor one time

- I know it’s our anniversary and we’re all dressed up and everything but I’m not really feeling this fancy restaurant, want to hit up the food truck? (bonus: I got food poisoning from said food truck and I’m puking my guts out but I’m still wearing my fancy clothes so at least I’m still classy)

- people always say to get a pet to see if you’re responsible enough to have kids but we’re still at the stage where we got a houseplant to see if we could get a dog

- you’re in my phone as “that loser who keeps texting me” and I’m in your phone as “how about no”

- we don’t call each other’s names when we need each other anymore we make dolphin sounds

- I have a goldfish named Prince Bubbles and I love him and when you made a commitment to me you made a commitment to him

- you have terrible taste in furniture no you don’t get to make these decisions alone anymore I hate that couch so much and now I have to look at it every day

- your mom came over while you were at work with some stuff she wanted to give you and it included your baby album and oh my god you were so cute (alternatively: you were such an ugly baby I’m so glad you grew out of that phase)

- we’re pretty sure we need hazmat suits to clean out the bathroom

- you don’t like it and I don’t like it but you need to take a bath now, kitty

- I bought a squirt bottle so whenever you do something obnoxious I can spray you with water

- you keep coming up with the worst possible names for any potential children we might have someday no I’m not letting you name our son that

- the water’s getting freezing cold but you’re warm and so we should definitely stay in the shower together a little longer

- we’re brushing our teeth and we both went to spit and you spit on me guess who’s living on the couch for the next month

- I’m always cold at night and you’re always too hot so we built up a little pillow wall so I’d get all the blankets but it’s 2am and I still can’t sleep because I miss snuggling with you

- you went through my stuff and found the ring I was going to use to propose and how dare you go through my personal stuff that’s so rude and invasive but more importantly will you marry me?

- you used up the last of the shampoo and didn’t tell me what am I supposed to do now

- we went to a bar and yes I signed you up to sing karaoke can’t back out now

- we both decided it would be a good idea to have a parent at home to raise the kid but I definitely thought it was going to be you what do you mean you thought it was going to be me

- we rock-paper-scissors or flip a coin for every major decision and you know it’s worked out pretty well for us

- you SAY you didn’t eat in bed but these crumbs say differently you’re not nearly as sly as you think

- that’s my shirt you’re wearing and usually I’m okay with that because you’re so cute in my clothes but I wanted to wear it and it’s mine so I get priority

- it’s ridiculously hot this summer and we’ve started just hanging out naked and it doesn’t really affect me anymore (most of the time) (bonus: someone’s coming to visit in like 10 minutes can you PLEASE put on some pants)

- you finally met my parents and they absolutely hate you but I love you so I hope you stick around

Parents make mistakes because they are human. Acknowledging this doesn’t mean someone disrespects their own or anyone’s parents or that they don’t love their parents.

Criticism isn’t the opposite of love, it needs to be a part of it. Being able to criticize how your parents behave is nothing but your parents acknowledging your feelings and thoughts as worth considering instead of seeing them as a threat to their authority.

Damn. If someone weren’t allowed to criticize their partner, most people would flip and tell said person to break up. And of course, parents aren’t exactly the same as lovers, but please explain how it’s healthy that we as a society decided that it’s okay for parents to criticize their children all they like while children aren’t allowed to say a word?

Hell, because of this toxic culture around criticizing parents, I met so many people who were so fucking offended by the simple statement “nobody has the perfect parents” because it’s a threat to them. They see their love and adoration towards their parents as threatened instead of seeing that this is not what criticizing parents is about.

Being able to acknowledge your own parents mistakes is an act of self-respect and love.
It means to also acknowledge that the negative feelings your parents caused you have a right to exist which doesn’t have the consequence of “not loving your parents anymore”. Negative feelings are a natural part of any relationship and they exist anyway, whether you acknowledge them or not.

It means that you know that nobody’s perfect and that nobody has to be in order to be loved by others. Making mistakes is just a natural part of being human and acknowledging those mistakes isn’t something bad, just as having mistakes isn’t.

And honestly… Parents who think it’s okay to flip when their children criticize them are implying that their position above their children is more important to them than accepting their perspective as valid and worth listening to. They are actually admitting that their own feelings are more important to them (which is fucking easy considering that no one would even stop them because nobody considers this side of the coin) than their child’s.

Our society condemning criticism by children directed at their parents is one of the mayor reasons for emotional abuse and we need to stop the toxic believe that criticising someone equals disrespect and that disrespect equals dislike and thus criticising your own parents makes you “The Worst™”.

anonymous asked:

Please could you give me some of the fluffiest and cutest Johnlock fanfic ever I would really need it in these days ? :c

Hi Nonny!

I’m currently working on a “All the Fluff” Fic Rec List (someone asked for it AGES AGO), so I do have some already sorted for you! Here’s some from my “Tooth Rotting Fluff Fic Rec List”! I’ve tonne more, but you seem to need this RIGHT NOW, so I’ll give you what I have sorted so far!


Flip of the Coin by SD_Ryan (T, 648 w.|| Fluff, Snuggles, Bed Sharing) – “John never knew what shape the flat would be in when he emerged from his room each morning, and that was due solely—as you might imagine—to Sherlock. The possibilities were limitless, and John’s creativity had not yet ballooned sufficiently to anticipate the depth and variety of Sherlock’s methods of transforming their home.” One morning, John wakes to an entirely new—and not unwelcome—circumstance.

Caring by belovedmuerto (T, 652 w. || Ficlet, Caring, Deductions) – John figures something out about Sherlock.

Tap by doctorcaseyholmes (G, 896 w. || Fluff, Morse Code, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Sherlock finds an unobtrusive way to let out his feelings for John.

A Christmas Holiday by consultinggalpals (sansa_undergrind) (G, 1,076 w. || Tooth Rotting Fluff, Christmas, Honeymoon) – “Come on, Sherlock. Just take the picture already.”

First Kiss by jawnandsharklock (NR, 1,119 w || First Kiss, Fluff) – “Look into the mirror. Do you see your mouth? Good. Go two inches to the right from the right corner of your mouth. Then two and a half inches up. Stop. I said two and a half inches, not five. There you go. Right there. That’s where this story begins. Or maybe that’s where it ends. Or maybe it’s all the same.”

This Isn’t About the Bathtub by cypress_tree (G, 1,142 || Marriage Proposal) – John and Sherlock go to Angelo’s for dinner. In both of their pockets are rings they are going to propose with, but the other has no idea. John proposes first, and Sherlock answers by pulling out his engagement ring.

Bringing Colour to the World by SD_Ryan (G, 1,168w. || Est. Relationship, Sickfic, Fluff, Schmoop) – In which we encounter a sick detective, a snuggle on the couch, and a silly fairytale.

Giveaway fic #1 by ConsultingPurplePants (E, 1,170 w. || John’s Belly, Coming Untouched, BJ’s) – John doesn’t like his belly. Sherlock does. Part 1 of 500 Tumblr Followers Giveaway Fics

So, this is normal for us now? by TooManyChoices (M, 1,445w. || Bed Sharing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Est. Rel., Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have been sharing a flat, and a life for some time. This is a story of how the glacially slow movement of their relationship makes another agonising crawl forward another inch.

To Sleep, Perchance to…Cuddle by nerdyandiknowit (NR, 1,563 w. || Sleepy Cuddles, Fluff, Stubborn Sherlock, Bedsharing, Cuddles & Snuggles) – Almost immediately after they got together Sherlock formed this dependency on John-he could not (or would not as John believes) sleep without John being there, in bed, next to him.

Bliss by theimprobable1 (G, 1,568w. || Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff) – Sherlock feels utterly, completely content. He’s curled up against John on the sofa and there’s nowhere else in the world where he’d rather be, no case or experiment that seems more tempting than John’s warmth.

Christmas by thegirlinthedeathfrisbee (G, 1,768 w. || Mistletoe, First Kiss, Fluff) – John goes home for Christmas–to the Holmes home, that is.

Want by siennna (T, 1,806 w. || PIning, POV Sherlock Second Person, Fluff, First Kiss) – When John speaks, you hear more than words. You hear the rise and fall of his tone, the comfortable quake of his laughter, the warm pauses of silence in between. When John laughs, there are stars glittering on his tongue and galaxies resting just behind his teeth, and you wish you could press your lips there and burrow into the warm sound. Part 6 of sienna’s favorites

But Love Is A Voice On The Wind by Snow (M, 1832 w. || First Time, Meddling Mycroft, Texting) – Sherlock keeps getting texts from Mycroft with tips on wooing John.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1835 w. || Humour) – John’s BAMFness and Sherlock’s damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

Seventeen Letters by out_there (G, 2,357 w. || Love Confessions) – “I love Sherlock,” John says out loud, testing how the words feel in his mouth. It doesn’t change anything. Sherlock’s still the pillock who fiddled with his computer password.

Lie-In by scullyseviltwin (E, 2540 w. || Bed Sharing, Morning After, Fluff) – “I can’t believe you drank an entire bottle of wine.”

John’s Drawers by JezebelGoldstone (T, 2,646 w. || Fluff, First Kiss, Romance, Humour) – Sherlock snoops through John’s drawers and finds something… unexpected.

and stand there at the edge of my affection by coloredink (G, 2,683 w. || Fluff, Letters, Clueless John) – “You’ve written love letters,” Sherlock asserted.

Atrium by kali_asleep (T, 3,460 w. || 5+1, Valentines Day, Fluff & Schmoop, First Kiss) – Five times Sherlock gave John his heart, and the one time Sherlock got a heart in return (literally).

Posh Boy by panickedbee (M, 3,622 w. || Kinks, RST, Pining, Sexual Frustation) – In his head he greets him with hey, handsome in the morning, calls him genius when he is being too clever again, calls him pretty man and silly git and sweetheart and, of course, posh boy. Part 5 of Sherlock Holmes Is A Very Lucky Man

The Quiet Moments by belovedmuerto (T, 4,091 w. || Cuddles) – Cuddling. Lots of it.

34 Minutes by bendingsignpost (T, 4,698 w. || Experiments, Fluff) – An experiment in eye contact.

Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w. || Fluff, Cuddles, Kissing, First Kiss, Requited Love, Pining Sherlock) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he’s pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.

Happy Christmas, You Arse by 1electricpirate (T, 4,766 w. || Post-TRF, Fluff, Christmas Fic) – In which evidence is presented that disqualifies Sherlock from being the Grinch, and everyone’s shoes fit them perfectly well, thank you.

A Study in Intimacy by doodle (T, 5,183 w. || First Kiss, Virginity, Romance, Touching) – People don’t touch Sherlock Holmes, not like they touch other people. Then he meets John Watson.

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

Maybe This Christmas by feverishsea (T, 6,021 w. || Matchmaker Anthea, Anthea POV, Slight Mystrade, Holmes Family) – Anthea has given up her life, her own desires, even her name in service of something greater than herself. But that doesn’t mean she can’t see when someone else wants something – even if she doesn’t happen to care overmuch for that person. And it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to help.

To Quote Malcolm Tucker; or, Get The Fuck In or Fuck The Fuck Off by kim47 (T, 8,484 w. || Jealous Sherlock, Flirting, Cockblocking) – Sherlock is cockblocker and a prick tease and John is not amused.

“Hey, Poindexter, can you grab my keys?”

“Grab your own damn keys!” Dex shouted down the stairs, shoving his wallet into his back pocket.

“But you’re up there and I’m down here. Pleaaaaase!” Nursey called in the wheedling voice he only ever used on Dex.

Rolling his eyes Dex stepped back into the room, scooped Nursey’s keys off the dresser, and rushed down the stairs. Nursey was standing in the hall with a stack of books in one arm and a thermos of coffee in the other.

“Can you lock the door, too?” he asked sweetly.

Groaning, Dex opened the door and let him through, pulling it shut behind them. “You are so needy. I don’t understand how you make it through your damn day by yourself.”

“Never by myself when I’ve got you, Dexy,” Nursey chirped.

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anonymous asked:

Omfg I really loved your twist on the soulmate aus those were so 👏 damn 👏 cute 👏 If you have the time and inspiration could you write something like that for nurseydex and/or whiskeytango

(friendly neighbourhood anon is referring to this post)

With Nursey and Dex, it is the opposite of easy. They spend a year and a half bickering, and sometimes working well together on the ice, and sometimes hating each other’s guts, and Dex would be perfectly content never to deal with Nursey again. Because as sophomore year drags on, the most irritating thing about Nursey’s presence is that he doesn’t irritate Dex as much as he should. Instead he starts inspiring this…swooping, lightweight feeling in Dex’s gut that makes him cringe. 

And then, they’re flipping for dibs. And there’s one answer that Dex knows he wants and it’s that he gets the room, and improbably the coin sticks in the crack in the floor, straight up and down, and Dex’s hope crumbles. He sit’s on Lardo’s floor for hours trying to figure out why it bothers him as much as it does. Maybe it’s because he’d shared a room with his brother growing up, and he just wanted his own room for once, but at the very least he’ll survive sharing a room with Nursey. He might not survive well, but he’ll survive. But something else is bothering him about it, something to do with the swooping feeling, and the coin. The edges of the quarter are burnished, and a rusty sort of colour he wants to call red - and then it hits him. He’s seeing the coin in colour. And he’s fucked. 

Nursey, contrarily, doesn’t start seeing anything in colour until partway through junior year. When one morning, Dex comes out of the bathroom wrapped in just a towel, and when he notices Nursey is still in their room and in just his briefs, a blush starts at Dex’s ears, and spreads to his cheekbones, and then down his neck and across his chest and halfway down his stomach. Nursey’s seen this exact reaction from Dex before, in greyscale, but this time, the flush is in pink. Nursey only has time to think “oops” and then doesn’t mention it. 

They don’t talk about it, until one day Dex finds the poems Nursey’s been writing, the odes to the colours orange and red and yellow, pink, the rust of freckles, and the gold of unusually appealing eyes. And when Nursey gets back to their room and sees Dex holding this paper, he tries to hide it until Dex mentions he prefers sage for eyes, rather than gold. 

Cursed Blessing

I hope @justwritingscibbles doesn’t mind me borrowing Lightiplier  for a little Dark and Light interaction. Just a short one. 

Originally posted by mageofmysteries

You looked up from your pillow, Darkiplier lying beside you in a contented haze, one arm draped over you protectively.
“Dark?” you asked.
“I was wondering, why me? There’s billions of people in the world, what’s so special about me?” He tensed, hesitating before replying.


“You?” Dark scoffed, hands balling into fists, “you’re the one they sent to reign me in?” The shadowy entity was confronted with another version of himself, but the flip side of the coin. The same face and body, but a glowing warmth and a pair of snowy wings marked Light for what he was; Dark’s opposite in so many ways.
“Yes,” Light nodded, far too confidently for Dark’s liking, “And let me just say I’m terribly sorry for what’s about to happen.”

Keep reading

  • Kirk: If I told you the walls of my quaters were actually moving in, would you think I was mad?
  • Bones: No, I would ask you to come round and look after my small children.
  • Kirk: Look, if you don’t believe me you can come round and we’ll watch the walls.
  • Spock: Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll be staying in watching the thermometer with me, won’t you Doctor McCoy?
  • Bones: Oh, I dunno, walls, thermometers, it’s an impossible decision. I’ll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.
7AM Coffee

Sebastian Stan x Fan fiction

☕️Tagged for permanent updates☕️

*A/N: Hello! Ok so this was just something I wrote that’s short. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I hope you all are having a great day/night:)–Noelle

When I woke up the world felt pure. Engulfed in my own private bubble of euphoria. The memories of last night made a wicked smile unfold across my face. Tussling my bare legs underneath the heavy duvet, I stretched my legs feeling it brush against Sebastian. He peacefully laid tucked underneath with only a sheet vaguely covering his lower abdomen.

I sat upward stretching my arms upright, yawning as I looked over to see the morning sun painting a rich and neon sky. Though my eyes couldn’t stay on the bit of scenery for long, because I had a much better muse to be transfixed by.

I watched as Sebastian slept, looking every bit of serene. His dark brown eyebrows furrowed in his sleep and his lips rested apart as he inhaled softly. I pushed away at his uncombed hair, smoothing it back in an almost rhythmic stroke. He shifted himself slightly, like he was instinctively reacting to my touch. Pulling back my hand because I was afraid to wake him up just yet. The current events that just took place would cause any functioning human the desired need to recharge.

Still in bed with Sebastian I reached for my silky pale pink robe that was wrapped across the ottoman in front of the bed. Slipping my arms through and tightly securing the belt around my waist I finally got out of bed. The time difference didn’t effect me as much as I believed it would have. Not too long ago, two weeks to be exact. Sebastian and I were sitting on a bench in Bowling Green park when the wildest of thoughts floated in our minds. We were both seeking an adventure, a get away that we both wanted to coax us with sin.

So we flipped a coin. Heads for a place where nothing but the sky and endless amount of water connected or tales for a place that was artistic, culturally infused with history and a place that would most importantly be unforgettable. I already had the perfect location in mind but I didn’t tell him. I waited till he tossed the coin in the air and catching it in his hand. Sebastian looked at the back of his hand where he kept the coin placed on top. He looked at me and I could see flickers of his soul through his smile. And then I knew we were off to Paris.

The days spent here were like no other. Getting lost in the streets, even though we had modern technology to help navigate us. We made a pact to see new places with our eyes instead of looking through a screen. So we left phones and cameras behind. The people we met so far invited us in with open arms. Introducing us to new sights, sounds, and sensations. Sebastian and I never stayed in one area for no longer than two days. Dining with outspoken intellects, dancing to music that you could feel in your veins, and making love was our pastime request. Well, that and a cup of coffee.

Someone once told me that being in love was like drinking coffee. Whether you loved it or hated it. It was something most desired. Despite it either being hot or cold, bitter or sweet. It was a risk you take and you couldn’t help but yearn for it constantly. Not ever wanting your cup to run empty.

I looked at the clock on the wall and it was five minutes till seven. I rushed over to the side of the bed where Sebastian was. I leaned down closer to his face and called out his name in a hushed tone. He wouldn’t budge, so I began to gently shake his shoulder. Eventually he started to wake up.

“Good Morning,” I rested my chin on his chest as I watched him blink rapidly, causing his eyelashes to flutter.

“What time is it?” Sebastian groaned.

“It’s almost seven.” I told him. I leaned back getting ready to stand until I felt a slight tug on the wrist. Sebastian turned on his stomach, squinting his eyes from the sunlight.

“Are we going to talk about what happened last night?” Sebastian asked me.

“You are not letting this go are you?” I pulled up the fabric of my robe by my collar trying to conceal my face.

Swinging his legs around the bed so that his feet would touch the ground and so he could he sit upward. “Not until you say you will marry me.”

{1 out of 1}

Originally posted by yourcoffeeguru

▼Divination Bag▼

The divination bag is a method of yes/no divination. The bag is two different colors, usually complimentary colors or black and white. You use it by asking a yes/no question and flipping the bag up in the air(make sure you flip it in a way where it rotates a lot) and whatever side it lands on is your answer! Before you actually start using it, make sure you program it just as you would a pendulum. You do this by asking a simple and obvious question like “Are the walls [wall color]?” and whatever color it lands on is your yes color! its similar to flipping a coin, but I prefer it because the bag is personalized to you and has no negative energy from previous owners.


  • - Two different colored fabrics
  • - Thread/needles(or a sewing machine)
  • - Rice/beans/beads
  • - Herbs/sigils/crystals/etc of your choice(optional)

Step 1) Cut your fabric into the desired size(it can be as big or as small as you want)
Step 2) Straight stitch along three of the sides as shown in blue(do small stitches!)

Step 3) Whip stitch the edge along three of the sides as shown in blue

Step 4) Turn the bag inside out and fill it with beans/rice/beads and the herbs/crystals/sigils you chose(if you wanted to)
Step 5) Fold the open end into the bag and whip stitch it as shown in blue(do very tiny stitches!!)

You’re done! Now go charge it in the sun/moonlight for a day and its ready for use! I hope this isn’t too confusing!!

- Mod Faye