then there is something seriously wrong with you

Failed Porn Star - Joe Sugg

Request: hi can i request an imagine where the reader is joes gf and she really fucking hates his mustache… i mean please dont get me wrong here, i love joseph graham sugg w every fiber of my being, but his fucking mustache is giving me 80’s failed porn star vibes and i hate it… sorry if this was a lot. i love you and your writing!! ive been following from the beginning and youre so amazing and my fav buttercream blog. luv ya lots xoxo ♡♡♡♡♡

Request: I neeeeeeed something really cute, like total couple goals lmao (With Joe)

Smut: Mild

Requests are OPEN!

A/N: Thank you for the title babe! That seriously made me laugh!

I hope you like it :)

Masterlist

“You’re home!” You said as you walked into Joe’s living room. He had been in LA for the past couple of weeks and unfortunately, you couldn’t join him. Your boss needed all the help she could get around this time and letting one of her favourite assistants go wasn’t an option. “What the hell is that?” You asked, looking at a smiling Joe walking towards you.

“Just give me a kiss, you fool.” As Joe went in for a kiss, the first one you two would have in weeks, you couldn’t help but be disgusted. “(y/n)?” He asked as you avoided his kiss.

“I’m not kissing you with that.” 

“You kissed me before I left and I had it then…”

“Yeah, it was more stubble before and now it’s just…gross.” You complained. Joe had been growing out his mustache for a couple of weeks now and although it was tolerable at first, you couldn’t handle the way it looked. You always hated guys with facial hair and you made Joe promise he would never try to grow any but here he was…with that thing on his face.

“Oh come on,” Joe pleaded. “It looks perfectly fine.” He said, trying to kiss you once again but you avoided it for the second time. “Babe.” 

“Until you get rid of that, I will not kiss you.” You stated. You smirked at him, trying to convince him to shave but all he did was look at you. Joe was pretty stubborn but you knew you could win this war. You stared into his blue eyes, not moving or blinking, as Joe stared into yours. You cocked an eyebrow as he smirked at you.

“Babe!” All of a sudden, Joe’s arms were wrapped around you and he was placing little kisses along your neck. “I know you can’t go a day without kissing me if you don’t have to.” His kisses became sloppy as he left a trail of them from your shoulder to your chin. You closed your eyes remembering the feeling of his lips, the feeling you hadn’t felt in weeks and although you wanted to crack, you had to stay strong. He moved the kisses so they were inches from your lips and in order to protect yourself, you tilted your head to the ceiling. “Fair play.” He whispered against your neck, now moving the kiss backwards.

You smiled, knowing Joe was struggling to find ways to crack you. He was good but you were better. As Joe tightened his grip around your waist, he picked you up and lightly tossed you on the couch before climbing on top of you. You looked up at him and smirked as his hands slid under your shirt, squeezing your hips.

“I’m not-” You began but as soon as one of Joe’s hands moved from your hips to your back, playing with your bra strap, you stopped. His eyes stayed glued onto yours and you could see a lustful look in them. Before you knew it, he had unclipped your bra and his hands were now at the front of your chest. He pressed his lips against your neck once more causing you to close your eyes and bite your lip.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered, his hands traveling to the top of your leggings.

“Oh, no no.” You said, pushing him off you and onto the ground. “You want anything more, get rid of that.” Joe looked up at you, sighing as you walked away. You smirked as you made your way to his room, praying to God you had won.

4

Roma entered the apartment tired from work but excited to see the rest of their boxes finally (after two weeks of being moved in) unpacked, only to see the same boxes sitting in the same corner they were in when she left. And there was the culprit, napping lazily on the couch.

Tiptoeing, the purple girl shuffled over and managed to lay right on top of her boyfriend without him waking up. Something was seriously wrong with this boy.

Roma, whispering: Get up, Danny. Babe. Dude…Seriously, you’ll miss dinner at this rate. I was gonna order Chineeeeese.

Danny, mumbling sleepily: Ch…Chinese?

Roma, trying not to laugh: Mhm..

Danny: Mm…can–can I have extra wontons?

Shaking her head, Roma brushed some stray hairs out of his face and rubbed his cheek with her thumb.

Roma: Sure, babe. You’ve obviously worked up an appetite.

anonymous asked:

Oh okay, I thought you misunderstood me. I got you. Ugh I wish bryke understood how important depicting mental health issues the right way is. Like, thousands of kids going through trauma, depression, etc. are watching their show. It would've really fucked little kid/teenage me up seeing what I was going through portrayed that way.

Nope! I assumed you were being sassy and I was like ‘oh let’s be sassy together.’ It’s seriously MESSED UP how Bryke had Korra heal.

My biggest, B I G G E S T issue was with Zaheer. From the top of season four, we see Korra trying different methods to heal. She goes on a soul-searching journey, she fights others, herself, she meets Toph and learns that some of her trouble may be caused by the poison hidden in her body. That’s all fine. Those are some positive steps, honestly. Korra is acknowledging that something is wrong and taking action to help herself. Now, it would’ve been better had she not been cut off from her friends and support systems, but I’m going to let this slide to get to my next point. 

It would’ve been one thing if Korra went to “face” Zaheer—

We can even model this after Katara facing down Yon Rha with Zuko by her side. She had a clear goal: healing. She had someone who cared about her healing: Zuko. She found her ‘abuser’ and she stood her ground: Katara was able to look Yon Rha in the eye and tell him he was pathetic, weak, and no longer a factor in her life. 

[ the parallels between our brown, water queens would’ve been beautiful… if only Korra had Asami in there with her, silently standing guard and letting Korra tell her abuser that he is nothing ]

—but, Korra went to “see” Zaheer.

BRYKE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO NOT ONLY HAVE KORRA SEE HER ABUSER, BUT GET HELP FROM HER ABUSER.

LET ME REPEAT THAT!!!

SHE GOT HELP FROM HER ABUSER.

Do they have any idea the message they sent to abuse victims? To rape victims? To assault victims? To torture victims? They said: If all these other methods of healing don’t work, go on a mind journey with your abuser and you’ll be all better.

THAT’S HOW THEY HAD HER HEAL COMPLETELY, BY LETTING HER ABUSER HELP HER. TO ME, THAT’S THE EQUIVALENT OF A RAPE VICTIM VISITING HER RAPIST AND HAVING HIM TEACH HER THAT SEX ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE VIOLENT AND UNWANTED.

It’s disgusting. I’m appalled. Way to go, Bryke. 

I still cannot beleive that people stillbthink hitting kids is okay.

That child doesn’t even have a fully developed brain yet, and you want to permanitly damage it?

That child depends on you. It is taught from day one that you are their guide, and they trust you. But when you break that trust and hurt them, theyre less likely to cone to you with their problems or of something is botehring them.

They don’t understand why youre harming them. Explain clearly what the problem is and (PEACEFULLY) resolve the conflict with a punishement.

Some non abusive punishments are- grounding for an hour. (Young children have low attention spans and this will be an efdective way to teach your child that what they did was wrong. Of course, longer than an hour is overkill unless it was seriously terrible.)

Another one is to take away something that they like to play with. (This does NOT include comfort objects. If youre child has autism DO NOT TAKE AWAY THEIR COMFORT OBJECTS)

In conclusion, don’t hit kids

The rules about responding to call outs aren’t working

Privileged people rarely take the voices of marginalized people seriously. Social justices spaces attempt to fix this with rules about how to respond to when marginalized people tell you that you’ve done something wrong. Like most formal descriptions of social skills, the rules don’t quite match reality. This is causing some problems that I think we could fix with a more honest conversation about how to respond to criticism.

The formal social justice rules say something like this:

  • You should listen to marginalized people.
  • When a marginalized person calls you out, don’t argue.
  • Believe them, apologize, and don’t do it again.
  • When you see others doing what you were called out for doing, call them out.

Those rules are a good approximation of some things, but they don’t actually work. It is impossible to follow them literally, in part because:

  • Marginalized people are not a monolith. 
  • Marginalized people have the same range of opinions as privileged people.
  • When two marginalized people tell you logically incompatible things, it is impossible to act on both sets of instructions.
  • For instance, some women believe that abortion is a human right foundational human right for women. Some women believe that abortion is murder and an attack on women and girls.
  • “Listen to women” doesn’t tell you who to believe, what policy to support, or how to talk about abortion. 
  • For instance, some women believe that religious rules about clothing liberate women from sexual objectification, other women believe that religious rules about clothing sexually objectify women. 
  • “Listen to women” doesn’t tell you what to believe about modesty rules. 
  • Narrowing it to “listen to women of minority faiths” doesn’t help, because women disagree about this within every faith.
  • When “listen to marginalized people” means “adopt a particular position”, marginalized people are treated as rhetorical props rather than real people.
  • Objectifying marginalized people does not create justice.

Since the rule is literally impossible to follow, no one is actually succeeding at following it. What usually ends up happening when people try is that:

  • One opinion gets lifted up as “the position of marginalized people” 
  • Agreeing with that opinion is called “listen to marginalized people”
  • Disagreeing with that opinion is called “talking over marginalized people”
  • Marginalized people who disagree with that opinion are called out by privileged people for “talking over marginalized people”.
  • This results in a lot of fights over who is the true voice of the marginalized people.
  • We need an approach that is more conducive to real listening and learning.

This version of the rule also leaves us open to sabotage:

  • There are a lot of people who don’t want us to be able to talk to each other and build effective coalitions.
  • Some of them are using the language of call-outs to undermine everyone who emerges as an effective progressive leader. 
  • They say that they are marginalized people, and make up lies about leaders.
  • Or they say things that are technically true, but taken out of context in deliberately misleading ways.
  • The rules about shutting up and listening to marginalized people make it very difficult to contradict these lies and distortions. 
  • (Sometimes they really are members of the marginalized groups they claim to speak for. Sometimes they’re outright lying about who they are).
  • (For instance, Russian intelligence agents have used social media to pretend to be marginalized Americans and spread lies about Hillary Clinton.)

The formal rule is also easily exploited by abusive people, along these lines:

  • An abusive person convinces their victim that they are the voice of marginalized people.
  • The abuser uses the rules about “when people tell you that you’re being oppressive, don’t argue” to control the victim.
  • Whenever the victim tries to stand up for themself, the abuser tells the victim that they’re being oppressive.
  • That can be a powerfully effective way to make victims in our communities feel that they have no right to resist abuse. 
  • This can also prevent victims from getting support in basic ways.
  • Abusers can send victims into depression spirals by convincing them that everything that brings them pleasure is oppressive and immoral. 
  • The abuser may also isolate the victim by telling them that it would be oppressive for them to spend time with their friends and family, try to access victim services, or call the police. 
  • The abuser may also separate the victim from their community and natural allies by spreading baseless rumors about their supposed oppressive behavior. (Or threatening to do so).
  • When there are rules against questioning call outs, there are also implicit rules against taking the side of a victim when the abuser uses the language of calling out.
  • Rules that say some people should unconditionally defer to others are always dangerous.

The rule also lacks intersectionality:

  • No one experiences every form of oppression or every form of privilege.
  • Call-outs often involve people who are marginalized in different ways. 
  • Often, both sides in the conflict have a point.
  • For instance, black men have male privilege and white women have white privilege.
  • If a white woman calls a black man out for sexism and he responds by calling her out for racism (or vice versa), “listened to marginalized people” isn’t a very helpful rule because they’re both marginalized.
  • These conversations tend to degenerate into an argument about which form of marginalization is most significant.
  • This prevents people involved from actually listening to each other.
  • In conflicts like this, it’s often the case that both sides have a legitimate point. (In ways that are often not immediately obvious.)
  • We need to be able to work through these conflicts without expecting simplistic rules to resolve them in advance.

This rule also tends to prevent groups centered around one form of marginalized from coming to engage with other forms of marginalization:

  • For instance, in some spaces, racism and sexism are known to be issues, but ableism is not.
  • (This can occur in any combination. Eg: There are also spaces that get ableism and sexism but not racism, and spaces that get economic justice and racism but not antisemitism, or any number of other things.)
  • When disabled people raise the issue of ableism in any context (social justice or otherwise), they’re likely to be shouted down and told that it’s not important.
  • In social justice spaces, this shouting down is often done in the name of “listening to marginalized people”.
  • For instance, disabled people may be told ‘you need to listen to marginalized people and de-center your issues’, carrying the implication that ableism is less important than other forms of oppression.
  • (This happens to *every* marginalized group in some context or other.)
  • If we want real intersectional solidarity, we need to have space for ongoing conflicts that are not simple to resolve.

Tl;dr “Shut up and listen to marginalized people” isn’t quite the right rule, because it objectifies marginalized people, leaves us open to sabotage, enables abuse, and prevents us from working through conflicts in a substantive way. We need to do better by each other, and start listening for real.

Sleep snug just like Freyja. 

uh...ya’ll know there’s black people in korea right?

so with this whole recent scandal of kai from exo appropriating black culture with his dreads…and what seems to be a new issue every week of idols appropriating black culture, i just want to make something clear. there’s far too many of yall claiming that people who are native to korea for some reason are unable to have a grasp on racism/colorism/cultural appropriation. not only is this entirely racist, to assume that just because someone is not from a western culture that they can’t understand GLOBAL issues, but it’s also entirely incorrect! there are black people IN KOREA who have spoken out against these issues TO KOREAN PEOPLE. for example: 

this is a clip from a korean show called Talking Street in which a black man shares his experiences of racial discrimination in korea TO A KOREAN AUDIENCE in which many of them empathize and apologize to him. but no, korean people still can’t understand these “western issues.” not only is this man, Sam Okyere speaking on this show but he’s been on other popular korean shows such as Return of Superman. 

here’s a clip of another black man talking about his experiences with racism in korea on a popular korean television show called Hello Counselor, a show that regularly features idols, and that kai himself has even been on!!!!!

^^^lastly, there’s plenty of interviews like the one above floating around the  internet in which native koreans ask people on the street about such issues like racism, lgbt issues, etc. the responses are those of normal people living in a fastly changing society because that’s exactly what they are! the people in the interview, for the most part, see the mistreatment of black people but recognize it as wrong. but there are still people out there assuming that the entirety of korean society is stuck twenty years in the past, and that  idols (even though they’re exposed to EVEN MORE global media) can be excused from problematic actions simply because of the place they are from. people in korea watch the shows like the ones above and take from it what they choose, and  if idols choose to see that something is wrong and do it anyway, they are to blame, not their society. black people literally exist everywhere and are mistreated everywhere, not just in america. so if american’s are  able to recognize this as wrong, then why can’t people in other countries? and for the amount of times idols have been called out for dreads/cornrows/blackface….you seriously think other idols don’t see this? but then they carry on with the appropriation after seeing other people in their field getting flack for it. stop making racist accusations to defend your faves, and STOP TALKING OVER BLACK PEOPLE WHEN IT’S ABSOLUTELY NOT YOUR PLACE! i’m exhausted.

Crying Starters
  • ❝Are you crying in there?❞
  • ❝Hey, I’ve got you. You’re safe now.❞
  • ❝I can’t stop crying.❞
  • ❝Tell me what’s wrong.❞
  • ❝Just let it out…no need to hold it in.❞
  • ❝Don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry!❞
  • ❝Stop crying.❞
  • ❝You have every right to be upset.❞
  • ❝Please don’t cry.❞
  • ❝Why are you crying over something so stupid?
  • ❝I didn’t realize this would make you so upset.❞
  • ❝Leave me alone – I don’t like crying in front of people.❞
  • ❝I’ve never seen you cry before.❞
  • ❝I’m so sorry for your loss.❞
  • ❝I can’t believe they’re gone.❞
  • ❝Seriously? Get over it.❞
  • ❝I’m sorry. I was just telling you how I feel.❞
  • ❝Please leave me alone.❞
  • -incoherent sobbing-
Familiar but Unexpected

One Shot: Jungkook Best friend!AU x Reader

Word count: 9.5k 

Genre: Fluff, Angst and NSFW! Smut. 

A/N: I recommend you read this in one sitting - strap yourself in for one heck of a rollercoaster ride, boys and girls. I’m back to ruin your life temporarily. @jeonjungrude @author–nim @btsbangtansarmyv

Summary: Jungkook, your ‘best friend’ needs a place to stay since his older brother unexpectedly came home. You try to fix their sibling relationship but that ends up costing you your friendship with Jungkook- a trade for something better or for something worse? 

@btsfanficss masterlist here 💕

Originally posted by armythreej

The doorbell rung simultaneous to the sound of constant knocks on your door. You opened your bloodshot eyes and reached over for your phone that sat on the bedside table. Who in their right mind would visit you at 4 in the morning? The violent knocking intensified and you groaned with frustration, peeling yourself away from the warm bed. You shuffled yourself over to the front door and swung it open while rubbing your tired eyes. Of course, only Jeon Jungkook, your best friend, would have the nerve to barge in at such an ungodly hour.

Jesus woman, I thought you were dead,” Jungkook’s voice sounded relieved at the sight of you in front of him, in your nighties that consisted of merely a singlet and terribly short running shorts. It exposed your supple skin to the handsome boy.

“Jungkook what the fuck do you want? I’m tired, it’s 4 in the bloody morning-” you sighed and wobbled with fatigue.

“Hello to you too, sweetheart,” Jungkook scoffed and entered your apartment with a small suitcase in his grip. “My brother came home unexpectedly just then, I need a place to crash until he leaves.”

You nodded without much thought, you knew his brother was always a sensitive topic for him so you understood.

“That’s fine by me. I’m going back to sleep,” you announced to the noir haired boy with a loud yawn. He merely snickered at your exhausted state and jumped onto your sofa- where he usually crashed after his nights out.

You glided back into the comfort of your bedsheets and closed your eyes to drift off into dreamland.


Morning came quicker than expected. You woke up to the sound of shuffling and fidgeting from the kitchen. It was unusual for Jungkook to wake up so early, early being 9 o’ clock since it was a Saturday morning. 

“Good morning,” you said in a nasal voice as you poured yourself a cup of coffee Jungkook had brewed. You peaked over Jungkook’s broad shoulders to see sizzling pancakes on the pan. 

“What’s the special occasion?” you murmured behind a hazy sounding giggle and Jungkook showed no emotion, a thin line across his lips. 

“Nothing..” Jungkook sounded inaudible as his chest grew with the inhalation of his breath. He let out a loud sigh and you gulped at the boy’s condition. It was rare for him to look so serious. He was normally always making the most inappropriate jokes and comments. 

Keep reading

15 Difficult Things About Being A Very Intuitive Person

1. It can be hard to tell the difference between an intuitive feeling and just… a feeling. You know that if you treated every passing feeling like an intuitive nudge you’d probably have lost your damn mind by now, so you have to be discerning about what’s a ‘gut feeling’ and what isn’t.

2. It’s hard to convince someone of something just because you ‘know,’ and harder to not say “I told you so” when you’re right. There’s nothing more frustrating than knowing a ‘feeling’ isn’t a compelling argument… except after you were right about said ‘feeling’ and the person you were trying to convince would have saved themselves some trouble had they just trusted you a little.

3. You only want to do what’s ‘right,’ but figuring out what’s ‘right’ is basically your #1 life struggle. You know what it’s like to be able to discern what’s “right” (most positive, most helpful, most beneficial, etc.) in any given moment, and the gratification you get from acting on that inherent knowing. Unfortunately, this can also leave you susceptible to only wanting to act on what’s best, when figuring that out is sometimes a process of trial and error.

4. It’s hard to play dumb when you know people are being dishonest or disingenuous with you. And if you’re being honest, sometimes it hurts to be able to tell someone finds you annoying or wishes you weren’t around as much. It’s probably the biggest downside of being hyper-sensitive to what’s around you, but also probably saves you from spending time with the wrong people.

5. You can be very indecisive, as they say: the clearer the choice, the louder the cry to try and choose otherwise.

6. We live in a world that values thinking over sensing, yet our subconscious minds are much more powerful than our conscious ones. And that’s exactly what you’re tapping into when you have that “intuitive feeling” – your subconscious intelligence. A major reason people doubt themselves is because this typically isn’t seen as valid as conscious choice-making, though we already know the opposite is true.

7. You rarely realize that not only can you intuit ‘truths’ but also ‘possibilities’ (hence being prone to intense anxiety). There are usually multiple potential outcomes to any given situation, and the more you are conscious of one, the more you are conscious of the (less likely, more unfortunate) others.

8. Sometimes, it’s better not to be hyper-aware of (or sensitive to) everything that’s going on in the world, it’s exhausting. You can start to feel as though the world’s problems are your own, and that gets overwhelming when you realize that you alone cannot solve them. (Good news, they’re not – they only feel that way because that’s how you perceive them.)

9. You find joy in understanding things, so you’re quicker to think about them than you are to enjoy them. You sometimes have to remind yourself (or consciously re-teach yourself) to just sit back and enjoy life. You’re so busy putting the puzzle together, you forget to kick back and check out the bigger picture, which is pretty great, too.

10. Not everything requires an in-depth emotional analysis. In fact, some things are best served by leaving them alone. Figuring out the difference between what is and isn’t is a delicate dance that you have to learn to master.

11. Your hyper-sensitivity is something you have to protect. It’s really easy for people to take advantage of you and your empathetic capacity (intuitive people are almost always very empathetic).

12. You won’t let yourself continue doing anything that doesn’t feel ‘right,’ even if that’s the easier (or more logical) choice. Your life is totally subject to how you feel about it, even though in reality, you would be better off seeing with a touch of logic and objectivity now and again.

13. You always find yourself asking people ‘what’s wrong,’ because even the smallest micro-expressions can read to you as ‘off.’ Alongside being hyper-aware of things like this, you have a hard time just letting them go. It feels like seeing a burning fire and just walking away.

14. You feel everything more acutely in general. You take everything seriously, and seem to feel everything with more intensity than other people do (for better and for worse).

15. You take on other people’s problems as your own. You sometimes confuse ‘perceiving something being wrong’ with it ‘being your responsibility to fix.’ Your challenge is in letting yourself perceive a situation, yet also just letting it be what it is at the same time.

Source: Brianna Wiest’s book The Truth About Everything, Thought Catalog

Mixtapes (Richie/Eddie)

Summary: Both Richie and Eddie are very fond of each other and often tease each other affectionately, especially Richie to Eddie. So Bill and Stan both play cupid, which results in swapping mixtapes for eachother.

Warning(s): Bad language, 13 year olds kissing (don’t read if you think its fucking weird?? bc its not), if you think this is me sexualising these cuties-don’t bother

Richie’s Mixtape to Eddie

Eddie’s Mixtape to Richie

A/N: Look at my children in love, PLEASE I highly recc listening to either of the mixtapes that are linked above^^? They are both very 70/80′s. btw I do requests? If anyone wants to hit me up an x reader or a ship in IT 2017 (or IT in general) I’ll be glad to do so?? don’t be shy

“Awe, Eds. Look at you.” Richie cooed teasingly, pinching Eddie’s slowly flushing cheek.

Eddie quickly began swatting at Richie’s hand, his eyebrows furrowed heavily and a frown on his lips, “Don’t touch me with your rotten hands, asshole!”

Richie ignored his protests and flinched away from his swats, moving his hand to now over his shoulders and pulling the smaller boys frame into his own side, a grin on his lips.  “You’re such a cutie, Eds.”

“No, No I’m fucking-”

“Both of you, shut up.” Stanley grumbles after rolling his eyes several times at the two.

Richie snapped his eyes at Stan, glaring through his coke bottle glasses, which only enhanced his eye size even more. He held Eddie closer, even with Eddie’s flushed cheeks he still squirmed lightly.

Stan sighs in relief and folds his arms as the group goes back to its usual discussion about the new random comic book of the week. Eddie couldn’t help but allow his heart to beat faster at Richie’s touch against his form, making him feel protected in his stronger grip. He couldn’t help but zone out as Richie begun to bicker that his comic book that he found was better than Stan’s.

Bill tilted his head, analysing Eddie as his eyes would flicker all over the place with his mouth gaping before closing every now and then and gulping. He knew that how he was acting wasn’t the norm for Eddie whenever Richie was like this, something was different. Not to mention that he had stopped struggling against Richie who wasn’t even holding Eddie tightly or forcing him in place.

Bill smiled a bit, as something clicked inside of his head- a plan. But he was going to need Stanley to help out.


That night, on the way home from their adventurous summer day- Bill was walking Eddie home as Stanley had taken Richie to a different route. Bill hummed a tune as he walked alongside his friend, grinning as he turned to look at him.

“So…”

Eddie looked at Bill, tilting his head, “So?”

“So, y-..you and Richie?”

“Yeah?” Eddie was confused, almost disgust in his voice- but Bill could see past the faux disgust.

“I saw how you were t-today, Eddie. Y-you were blushing.”

This again, only caused Eddie to heat up as his form became a flustered mess and he glared at Bill. “You would blush too if someone touched your arm!”

“N-no, I’d only b-blush if Bev touched my arm there.” Bill pointed out, “but in this instance, you blushed when Richie had his arm around you- as well when he pinched your cheek and called you a ‘cutie’, it’s quite obvious.”

Eddie snapped his head away, patting his fanny pack for reassurance for himself. “Whats your point?”

“My point? M=my point is that he’s flirting with you; y-you like him.”

“I don’t like him! And he isn’t flirting with me! He acts like that with everyone-”

Bill cuts Eddie off quickly, “E-Eddie, do you see him pinching any of our cheeks and calling us a ‘cutie’? He doesn’t put his arms a-around us or any of the shit he does for you, not to mention he calls you E-Eds and doesn’t have a nickname for any of us.”

“Okay Bill-”

“N-n..not to mention, he carries an extra i-inhaler around just incase you lose yours.”

Thats when Eddie’s breath hitches, feeling butterflies go crazy in his abdomen, adoration swirling and tugging at his heart strings. He could practically hear his heart in his ears loud and clear.

“He… he does?” Eddie whispers, his voice quivering a bit.

“Yeah, even though he knows that you don’t even need it anymore, because you know, gazebos and your Mom making your illness up and shit but- yeah.” Bill smiles, watching how the young boy was falling more and more in love.

Eddie then quickly holds his wrist, feeling his pulse; resulting his fingertips quivering from feelings how his heart was beating with happiness.

“Oh… I-I never knew that. He’s never told me…”

“That’s b-because you’ve never needed it, but he always has.”

Eddie bites his lip, “What a fucking, what- he’s a fucking dick.” Eddie protests, blushing bright as ever.

“Sure he is,” Bill chuckled, “But l-look, I wanna help you. I know when someone is in love when I see it.”

“How?” Eddie asked, neither denying his feelings or admitting.

“Well.. It i-involves music.”


Meanwhile, Stanley was grumbling to himself in annoyance and cursing Bill’s name for getting him into this situation with Richie Tozier. He didn’t want to do this, but Bill had promised to give him some candy as a reward if it goes well.

“So, Richie. I’m gonna make this quick as possible so I can just go home.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Richie asked with pure confusion, a single eyebrow furrowing and one raising.

“You like Eddie, Eddie likes you.” Stan started, his face full of boredom, “Can you just hurry up and tell him?”

Richie was shocked by his friend’s words at first, before smirking. “Hell yeah I like him, I tell him all the time.”

“I mean genuinely, you asshole.” Stan sighed, “Not as a joke or some shit, literally confess your fucking feelings to him or something.”

Richie rolls his eyes, not being fazed by the situation, “What makes you think I like him seriously? I’m not fucking gay-”

“It’s pretty fucking clear you like girls, after you telling us for the full day about the first time you ‘tickled your pickle’ to a random magazine that had huge boobs all over it. But you like guys too, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Stan spoke with a monotone voice, managing to not let any voice cracks slip.

Richie scoffed, “I don’t like him, he’s a friend and I like to tease him.”

“You tease him by calling him ‘cute’ and you give him a nickname, you don’t do it to anyone else. You like him, just admit it- no one is judging you.” 

Richie frowned, huffing a bit and rolling his eyes. “Well, what if I did? Whats your point and where are you going with this?”

Stan smirked, patting Richie’s back forcefully, causing him to stumble forward.

“What’s your taste in music like?”


The next day, both Richie and Eddie were walking to school together in perfect unison, both of them holding a tape in their pocket that held a variety of songs that the one had imagined for the other.

Richie gulped, for once actually nervous around Eddie. What would Eddie think of him? It was a fucking mixtape, it was Richie’s music taste. Would he even like it? Would he-

“Richie, here. I want you to have this.” Eddie cut off Richie’s thoughts, holding up a tape alike to Richie’s.

Richie blinked twice, stopping in his steps. The tape was all black and what seemed to be painted on with nail polish ‘Sucks to Suck’ on top of the tape. 

“I-it’s a mixtape.” Eddie mumbled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he felt flustered.

Richie stayed silent, slowly taking the tape, analysing it with soft eyes before looking up with confusion. He turned over the  mix tape to see ‘to Richie’ painted with the same shade of white but in smaller writing.

“You made one too?” He spoke quietly, his head tilted to the side which caused his dark brown hair to tilt too.

“What?”

“Look…” Richie dug into his pocket and pulled out his own black tape which had a sticker on it, saying ‘Gimmie head til’ I’m dead!’ on it, with writing scribbled onto the back saying ‘to Eds’ with a cheeky smiley face, “I made one too, here.” He handed it over.

Eddie’s eyes widened, blushing a bit as he took it from the glasses wearing boy and read over it- mentally scoffing at the sticker but he was in awe of the idea that both of them had somehow made a mixtape for the other.

“You too?” Eddie whispered in shock.

“Well, yeah- but it wasn’t my idea.”

“It wasn’t mine either.” 

Richie quickly smirked, rolling his eyes, “They fucking set us up.”

“Who? Bill? Because it was Bill’s idea for me-” Eddie began to ramble on.

“It was Stan’s idea for me.”

Eddie then stopped, sighing with a grin- poking his tongue in his cheek. “Fuck, that makes sense.”

Both look at each other with grins slowly spreading over their chapped lips, soon the two boys were in a fit of giggles due to the realisation of the sweet situation. Both never taking eyes off one another, blushes spreading to their ears and down their necks.

“I, I guess I’ll listen to this tonight?” Richie’s voice broke, still calming down from his fit of giggles.

“Yeah, me too… I-i uh, I picked out the songs carefully and put them in order a certain way, so..” Eddie trailed off, becoming a little ashamed incase Richie would tease him for his effort.

But Richie only felt love swell inside of him at those words, he grabbed Eddie’s hand with his free one and leant forward, bending down slightly, whilst pressing their lips together for the first time. Eddie’s eyes widened in shock, before melting and wrapping his free arm around Richie’s neck with the mixtape in his firm grip. Both merged together in sync and harmony, with their lips swelling and becoming saturated in colour. Richie wrapped his other arm around Eddie’s waist and too held his mix tape tightly as they both kissed in the middle of the street, hand in hand, with no shame at all.


Eddie sat down at his desk, placing his headphones over his head, pressing play as quickly the flood of Richie vibes swirled into his eardrums. Finally, after many aching hours at school he had time to listen to this mixtape.

I don’t want to know your name

Cause’ you don’t look the same

The way you did before

Okay, you think you got a pretty face

But the rest of you is out of place

You looked alright before…

Eddie chuckled at the familiar song, it often played in arcades that the Losers club all went too. It went under the title ‘Fox on the Run’ and it was by ‘The Sweets’.

Fox on the run!

You scream and everybody comes a running!

Take a run and hide yourself away…

Foxy on the run!

F-foxy!

Fox on the run…

And hide away!

Eddie listened to every song intensely, capturing the vibe of Richie Tozier perfectly. He had even picked out songs that they both loved and favoured. Eddie really adored Richie’s music taste and everything about it, it perfectly described him as a person and he loved that.

Soon, the last song came on. By the instrumental, Eddie recognised it to be ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love With You’ by Elvis Presley. HIs heart hammered quickly.

Wise men say,

Only fools rush in

But I, cant help, falling in love with you…

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin?

If I can’t help, falling in love with you…

Eddie’s breath hitched in his throat, feeling his pulse echo throughout his system. This was not part of Richie’s vibe at all, but part of Eddie’s. Eddie loved Elvis Presley whilst Richie wasn’t a big fan of him. 

But this song was magical and made for someone special, so Eddie was shocked and swooned. Very much so captivated.

Eddie Kaspbrak was falling in love with Richie Tozier.


Later that night, Richie laid down in bed with his cheap headphones, before plugging them into the mixtape and pressing the button to get the songs going.

The first song started; it was of course one of Richie’s favoured artists as well as Eddie’s. From what he knew, this was one of Eddie’s favourite songs from David Bowie, it was called Heroes and it was a truly beautiful song.

I, I will be king.

And you, you will be queen.

Though nothing, will drive them away

We can beat them, just for one day.

Oh we can be heroes!

Just for one day.

And you, you can be mean.

And I, I drink all the time.

Because we’re lovers, and that is a fact.

Yes we’re lovers, and that is that.

Though nothing, will keep us together

We could steal time, just for one day.

We could be heroes, forever and ever.

What’d you say?

Richie felt his heart pump faster and swell as the mixtape carried on, each song having Eddie’s vibe to it. But Richie could tell that they matched him in a way that made Eddie pick it for him to listen to. Everything was intentional.

After a good 50 minutes, the final song was starting to play. Yet Richie wasn’t prepared for what he was about to hear.

Hey Jude…

Don’t make it bad,

Take a sad song, then make it better.

Remember, to let her into your heart.

Then you can start to make it better.

Richie’s eyes widened as his thoughts wandered back to Eddie’s simple words. ‘I picked out the songs carefully and put them in order a certain way.’ This meant that Eddie had intentionally wanted Richie to hear this song last.

Hey Jude…

Don’t be afraid.

You were made to go out and get her.

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better.

Richie felt the tears prick at his waterline as this was the first time of him being emotional at a song. Eddie was the only person that knew about Richie’s home life, how he was neglected by his parents constantly and was alone. He knew that the reason why Richie was so loud and out there was because he didn’t receive the attention he deserved at home, so he wanted it from friends. He wanted to make people laugh, Eddie knew this.

Eddie’s key words lingered in his brain, as it stuck out to him that this single song revealed that Eddie’s whole mixtape was set up in a way to help Richie throughout dark times or whenever he felt alone, so he could remember that Eddie had cared enough to set up this mixtape in perfect order to make Richie stronger in that given moment.

And anytime you feel the pain,

Hey Jude, refrain

Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well you know that it’s a fool,

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Richie’s tears finally fell, making him take his glasses off to refrain any of the tears staining the lenses. Eddie had purposely picked this song as if to say that Richie was in fact his Jude, he wanted Richie to get better and hopefully have a better mindset besides his life at home.

Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah…

His breaths shook, as he held the mixtape to his chest with the headphones still placed perfectly on his head. He was thankful to have someone like Eddie who would even bother to do this, as something as simple as this with so much thought put into it only made him fall in love with the small boy even more.

i. i think of all the people i thought i loved and i laugh. it’s a long list, and for a long time i thought there was something wrong with me for being the only one of my friends who had never fallen in love, never fallen so fucking hard that my bedroom floor had a hole shaped like my body.

ii. you laughed and i swear to god, seriously, i almost cried. it was beautiful. that’s not to say that it still isn’t, i’m sure it is, it’s just, i haven’t heard your voice in months and so, i can’t use present tense. i’m only fooling myself. i erase my call log frequently but, i can’t bring myself to erase the proof that you were once here.

iii. our love was held together by pepsi and walks by the lighthouse and caramel frappuccinos and rainy days and extra large packages of extra gum that had 35 sticks instead of 18. i think i dropped my heart in the water when you told me you were leaving. i think i left it there for safe keeping but, i can’t bring myself to get it back.

iv. we haven’t spoken in a little over a month but it feels like it’s been longer. i think you stopped caring when you knew you didn’t have to pretend anymore. i think your liberation from my mess of emotions was the only thing you got out of what we had.

v. it’s weird to think that there were people before you. i had my first kiss in the 8th grade and i thought i loved him. a little over a year later i thought i was in love again and a year later and a year later and then, i kissed you. i loved you. i think for a long time i tried to convince myself that i didn’t want to kiss you, and when i did, i knew i had been wrong from the start.

vi. i haven’t deleted our pictures. i know i said i would, i know i told my friends i have, i know i’ve told my mom i don’t miss you anymore and i know i go outside now and i smile at the sun, but i think that missing someone is harder than it looks. self help books tell you to use distractions and make plans and talk to your friends, but i’ve done exactly that for the past 8 months and my neck still has a bruise in the shape of your lips.

vii. it was raining the first time you kissed me. the storm almost blew us away but we held onto each other and you drank my coffee and i leaned on your shoulder and we watched the world fall down around us. i think when you’re 16 you feel so invincible that you try and walk right into the eye of a storm. that’s what i did that day. i came back, broken, mangled, torn apart, but i came back.

viii. the day you left, i cried. i know this isn’t a surprise, i think anyone who lost the person they built their world around would cry. it’s been 8 months, and i still don’t know what happened. if love is real, then so is closure, it has to be. i never got it. i don’t know how you managed to break a shattered thing, but you did.

ix. i still love you, please call me.

[EDIT: Apparently something was wrong with the translations. So I apologise for going off but it still applies to every group and every member!]

Rant about this. Istg, I am going to throw hands. It contains a lot of swearing. So forgive me for my sins.

Okay, but nah, y'all really got me fucked up now.

But in all seriousness, some of you actually need to sit the fuck down and see where you lie within a fandom. This is not just about BTS, no. But some of you fake ARMYs have me fucked up. Leaving because of a name change. Asking for other members during their V-Live. Not appreciating them as much as you appreciate your own bias.

I said this once, I’m gonna say it again till some of you get your head out of your fucking asses.

It is “BTS” not “Maknae Line and some old guys”. It is “BLACKPINK not Lisa and some other girls”. It is “TWICE” not “Japan Line and other chicks”. It is “Red Velvet” not “Irene ft Seulgi and their backups”. It is “Girls’ Generation” not “Yoona ft Taeyeon and some other cute girls”. It is “Day6” not “Jae and idk who the other guys are”.

No. They don’t work hard for you to shit on them and no appreciate them. The fact the J-Hope has to say “fans that like him” instead of just “fans” in general. Goes to show how much you uglies have hurt him.

You think words don’t fucking hurt? Y'all go through break ups and wanna die. A break up is done with words. What makes you think your words don’t hurt idols when you go around saying mean shit to them and about them. Think before you fucking speak.

Appreciate every member. We’re here to support them and let them know that they’re appreciated and that we’re thankful for their hard work. To let them know that you don’t have to be perfect to make us happy.

If you want to fight me on this, I am ready. Come at me while I am heated.

Insecure (Peter Parker x Reader)


Authors note: this was requested by the lovley @signethatsmelol, also I hate myself bc I turned my precious babies against each other for the sake of fiction

Warning(s): some swearing, violence, angst BUT DW BC FLUFF AT THE END

Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. Maybe it was the unusual silence of the school halls after class or the fact that Peter hadn’t come to find you but something was definitely up.

You frowned as you made your way to your locker, your boyfriend of a year nowhere to be seen.  Opening it up, you loaded in your calculus textbook and a few other things before heading your academic decathlon club. You often found yourself looking forward to your team meets as you’d get to spend more time with your boyfriend, Peter and best friend, Flash.

You’d actually met Peter through Flash, when you’d first joined Midtown high. Flash had been your ‘tour’ guide as such, and he was extremely sweet towards you, he’d made you feel comfortable with the move to a new high school and even invited you to the team’s first meet of the year, although he was very flirtatious and you weren’t into that. Peter had joined the meet a little later than it had started because of his Stark internship and it was pretty much love at first sight from then on.

You’d grown to love his little stammer every time he talked to you, and that blush that spread from his cheeks to his neck every time you held his hand in public. You could even say you loved Peter Parker . That’s why you were so worried when he hadn’t come to meet you, the pair of you were inseparable so you knew something was wrong.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as your friend Michelle came running towards you, panic etched across her features. “Michelle?” You asked, turning from your locker to face her, concern stitched into your voice. She was hunched over, hands gripping  her knees as she struggled to catch her breath.

“I-it’s Peter” she began, drawing herself upwards. “He’s gotten into another fight”

Your eyes widened as she spoken, you slammed your locker shut as the curly haired girl lead you towards the fight. Within a matter of minutes, you found yourself behind a large gathering of people, formed into a circle. People were cheering and filming the ordeal. Hurriedly, you pushed your way through the bands of people, trying to get a better look at the scene.

“Excuse me, sorry. Pardon me”

What you saw after weaving your way through the crowds made your heart drop. Your friend, Flash and your boyfriend Peter.

They were currently standing opposite each other, faces swollen and bruised. Flash had clearly gotten the brute end of it, and looked like he was on his last legs. Peter on the other hand looked significantly less injured and you knew in that moment he had been the one to start the fight. You knew Flash had picked on Peter, that’s what made it hard to maintain your friendship with him but you never thought Peter would lash out on him like this.

“Say that again, I dare you” you heard Peter spit, bouncing his fist up and down menacingly. Through the pain, you could see Flash draw his lips into a cruel smirk.

“She doesn’t want you, she never has. She’s only with you to get back at me”

That was all it took for Peter to launch himself at Flash, you covered your eyes and bit your now quivering lip, as you heard the pair’s grunts of pain. You knew know that this wasn’t some stupid spat between boys.

This was about you.

Opening your eyes, you rushed out into the circle, the cheers from the crowd only sky rocketing. At this point, both boys were at either side of the circle, you rushed between them in an attempt to stop the violence. “Stop it!” You yelled breathlessly, looking between them. “Just stop it! You’re hurting each other!”

Both boys fixed their posture before looking at you. You stared Peter down, meeting his gaze with a confused look, you could see the guilt swirling in his eyes. Your attention was stolen, when Flash begun to speak up. “Get outta the way (Y/N), I gotta let this punk have it

Don’t talk to her like that” Peter seethed back. You shook your head, begging yourself not to cry as the two boys you cared about glared and growled at each other. You could see that Peter was tired and could tell that he was feeling guilty.

“Leave it Flash” you called out as he tried to advance. You turned to your boyfriend and grabbed him then by the wrist trying to get him out of there. You pulled him into a guest toilet and locked the door behind you. You sat him down on the lid of the toilet,  grabbing some tissue and running it under some cold water before pressing the compress to his bruised knuckles.

“What the fuck was that Peter?” You said, as you worked in silence. Peter could only watch as you moved about, making more compresses for his cuts before they bruised.

“I’m sorry” the brunette boy whispered, not meeting your eyes as you inspected his face. You paused, looking into his chocolatey orbs, anger swirling in them.

You’re sorry?!” You yelled, your calm facade breaking down. This wasn’t the first time Peter had gotten into a fight over you, in fact, they’d been happening a lot more recently. You’ve never mentioned it to him before, at first you thought he was being over protective, but now you could tell it was much more serious. “Sorry doesn’t cut it Peter! Do you know how many times I’ve had to pull you out of these situations? Do you know how many times I’ve had to save your ass from being beaten into the ground? Do you know how much that scares me? I don’t know what’s going on with you Peter but you need to sort this out.”

Your boyfriend flinched at every word you spoke, as if he was being

sprayed by acid. He knew what you were saying was true, but he couldn’t help it.

“Peter, I love you!” You cried out, as he gazed at you intently. “But you can’t keep fighting people over me! Flash is one of my best friends, and to see you both almost kill each other out there breaks my heart! I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but if it keeps happening, I don’t know if I can stay”

This time, Peter’s head snapped up, looking you directly in the eyes. “W-what are you - are you saying?” he whispered, voice low and uneven. He was standing now, and you could see his body shaking.

“I’m saying that maybe…” you sighed, backing away from Peter. “We should…take a break?”

“No!“Peter practically screamed, his voice cracking as he did so.

In the dim light of the bathroom, you could see his eyes glaze over as his body begun to shake. “P-please”

Peter…

“I meant it when I said I was sorry” he tried, his voice betraying him. “I don’t know what came over me, F-flash was just saying these awful things about you, a-about us and I began to doubt myself”

You neared your sobbing boyfriend, immediately feeling guilting for suggesting that you end things. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his head down to rest on your shoulder as he cried. “T-they say I don’t deserve you, all the guys. T-they say you’re too good for me… and it’s true”.

You stroked his hair softly as he let out his emotions. You never knew that he’d felt this way, that this could have ever been the reason for his outbreak. That Peter Parker was insecure.

Baby no” you whispered but he didn’t stop there.

“You’re the kindest and sweetest soul and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you. You’ve been with me through everything and I-I’m just… Peter” he hiccuped, pulling away from you with bleary eyes. “P-please don’t leave me, you’re everything I have”

“Peter…” you sighed, holding him close until he’d calmed down. “I-I’ll never leave you, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry”. You clung to him, trying to tell him that you were there and that you weren’t ever going to let go, you cursed yourself for being such a terrible girlfriend. When you both pulled away, you looked up at Peter, feeling his love for you radiate off of his body. You stood on your tip toes and slowly pressed your lips to his, the taste of his cherry lip balm invading your tongue. His warm and familiar hands snaked their way around your waste, pulling you closer to him. You gripped the collar of his plaid shirt from under his jumper and tugged him towards you, wanting to be as close to him  as possible, wanting him to feel the love you had for him. All of Peter’s insecurities melted away in that moment, he knew that you would never leave him, he knew that you loved him and that none of the other guys meant anything to you, not even Flash.

When you’d both come up for air, a small smile graced your lips. Peter returned your smile, going to bury his head in the crook of your neck again. “I’m so in love with you” he whispered against the  skin of your neck.

“I love you too Pete”

You both stood in silence, holding each other, the only sounds being made were your giggles as Peter pressed kisses to your neck. “I really am sorry about Flash though, I know how much he means to you” Peter spoke, after a few moments.

You rolled your eyes, before ruffling Peter’s hair. “He was an asshole anyways, you’re all that I care about”

You both laughed before you pressed a quick kiss to Peter’s lips, making him blush. “Now we should probably get out of here before people think we’re up to something” you winked at him playfully , as he shook his head at your antics.

Peter only let out a laugh as you pulled away to unlock  the door. You  grinned back at him, admiring his smile, and the way it reached his eyes. You really loved Peter and god help anyone that tried to make your baby insecure again.

Teacher (M)

Plot: Maybe asking your Korean teacher for help wasn’t such a bad idea. Good grades weren’t the only thing you were going to achieve from that.

Pairing: Teacher! Jung Hoseok x Student! reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Oral (receiving), Moaning denial, just full-on hardcore Jung Hoseok the sexy beast

Note: This is probably the first time I’m actually posting smut. It took me quite a while to write, considering it was very long, and I need to be in a certain mood for it. Thank you to my friend for giving me this idea. Please forgive me if there are any errors, english isn’t my first language. 3657 Words

P.S. You are 19 in this, and Hoseok is 25. I do not support all that underage sex stuff. Everything here is legal (wrong – please don’t fuck your teacher no matter how hot he is – but legal).

Korean Literature was probably your least favorite subject. You hated just everything about it – well – excluding the teacher. He always greeted you with a smile, asked you if you wanted help. You were the only foreigner in the class, after all. He gave you so much special attention, and you wouldn’t mind it at all. Unfortunately, that didn’t change your view on the subject. No matter how hard you tried, you always got a low grade.

“Okay students, remember we have a test on the new poem this Friday,” His voice echoed through your ears, breaking you out of your trance.

There was a solemn look on your face, while you stared out the window. Your eyes stayed on the uniformed kids flooding out of the school gates, while your nail dug under the staple holding your latest spelling test together.

5 out of 10. It was better than the last one.

No matter how bad it got, you always had this urge to try. You always wanted to keep studying for a higher score, but you just never seemed to understand everything that was thrown at you. It was like everything registered into your brain, but it never stayed – it disappeared, unlike your determination to do well.

As your eyes flickered over to the teacher, a nervous feeling settled in your chest. You now stayed after school for that exact reason. A few days ago, Hoseok had offered to help tutor you for an hour everyday until the test. It had been at least a week since he started, and you could safely say that you were getting better.

“Are you ready to start?” 

“Yeah.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have a favourite german idiom? (+ literal english translation maybe )

One? Just one? No, my friend. I cannot do that.

I can, however, do more than twenty, and I can do them in alphabetical order based on the most important keywords involved in them. Not all of them are idioms, some are just things people like to say in certain situations, but all of them are amazing or interesting in their own way. (t. =  literal translation, m. = meaning)

abwarten und Tee trinken - t. to wait and drink tea, m. just wait and see

Wo man singt, da lass dich nieder; böse Menschen haben keine Lieder. - t. Where there’s singing, settle down; bad people don’t have songs. m. this is not exactly a typical saying, but an old piece of wisdom my grandmother always quotes.

Ich bin fuchsteufelswild! - t. I am foxdevilwild!, m. I am so goddamn angry right now

Himmel und Hölle in Bewegung setzen - t. to move heaven and hell, m. German equivalent for “to move heaven and earth”, but more badass

das ist ein Katzensprung - t. that is a cat’s jump, m. something is just a tiny distance away, only as far as a cat can jump!

auf den Keks gehen - t. to walk on someone’s cookie, m. to annoy someone, but much sweeter (get it? Okay, sorry.)

da kannst du Gift drauf nehmen - t. you can take poison on that, m. you can bet your life on that, it will definitely happen (how morbid, I love it)

die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt - t. (the) hope dies last

das Leben ist kein Ponyhof - t. life is no pony farm, m. life is tough and no fun, suck it up (a very German saying, also good for anyone that’s not into horses)

es ist noch kein Meister vom Himmel gefallen - t. a master has never fallen from the sky, m. to master something you need to practice 

hinterm Mond leben - t. to live behind the moon, m. to be away from reality, lost in dreams, or not up to date with trends

hier spielt die Musik - t. the music plays here, m. usually said to get someone’s attention when they are distracted, often sarcastic or annoyed (or is that just me…)

in einer Nacht-und-Nebel-Aktion - t. in a night-and-fog-action, m. doing something secretly, away from the public, hidden (oooh spooky!)

jetzt haben wir den Salat - t. now we have the salad, m. look at this disaster that we now have 

sich freuen wie ein Schneekönig/Honigkuchenpferd - t. to be happy like a snow king/honey cake horse, m. to be very very happy (isn’t this cute?)

nicht alle Tassen im Schrank haben - t. to not have all cups in the cupboard, m. that someone is crazy (obviously, with that many cups missing…)

das kommt mir spanisch vor - t. that seems Spanish to me, m. that something is suspicious or strange, because apparently emperor Karl V. once imported court etiquette from Spain that nobody understood and got confused by, amazing?

Was für ein Teufelskerl! - t. What a devil’s guy! m. a bit old-fashioned, but still cool; describes a really awesome, brave, or otherwise attention-pulling man

viel hilft viel - t. a lot helps a lot

den Wald vor lauter Bäumen nicht sehen - t. to not see the forest because of all the trees, m. being unable to see the big picture because of distracting details

mit allen Wassern gewaschen sein - t. to be washed with/in all waters, m. someone who knows every trick in the book, is mischievous

Zieh dich warm an! - t. Dress warmly!, m. this is a threat. no, seriously, means that someone should prepare because you’re gonna do something very unpleasant to them soon

es gibt kein schlechtes Wetter, nur falsche Kleidung - t. there is no bad weather, just wrong clothes, m. Germans are used to rain and it’s no reason to not do what you are supposed to be doing

Kommt Zeit, kommt Rat. - t. Comes time, comes advice. m. over time, a solution or advice will be found/appear

Those are all for now. Thank you for the ask, and let me know if you’d like more.