then maybe i'll make more videos

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you are just right

I have a confession to make: I’ve been slacking on the omgcp train because… I got a Nintendo Switch… and the new Zelda is just too good

It did get me thinking about how the Haus (really the frogs) would react if someone brought home a Nintendo Switch though. Probably Bitty (who’s in his senior year at this point)? As a gift from Jack, who bought it deciding he wanted to give it a try after a life of non-video gaming? The two probably had some fun playing Zelda and 1, 2 Switch in Providence but decided it was too much of a time-suck for the two of them (senior year, Bitty’s Samwell captaincy, NHL captaincy), so Bitty drags it along with him back to Samwell.

Of course, Chowder’s been keeping track of Nintendo stuff, and his family/friends back home have been posting on social media about it, taunting him, when he knows they’re sold out within a twenty-mile radius of campus, so the boy is DYING to play it. When he sees the Switch in front of the television downstairs, he lets out a squeal an opera singer would applaud at. Nursey and Dex are very confused.

Nursey and Dex have probably all played at least a few staple video game franchises in their childhood, but Nursey abandoned them kind of quickly in his attempts to “chill”, and Dex couldn’t really afford consoles as a kid, so he’s only really played them at someone else’s house or something. Chowder plays a bit of Zelda with them as witnesses, and they pass it off as “cool” and go on with their day. (Very reminiscent of a certain confession about someone dating a certain professional hockey player tbh)

Except they’re secretly fascinated by it. For different reasons. They sneak downstairs and swipe it to play for a few hours when they know everyone else is in class. Sure, they both know fuck-all about the plot, but they get the basic premise – walk around, explore, complete quests, kill monsters, stop Ganon – and that’s more than enough for them.

Dex loves it like he loves any good puzzle. An encampment of monsters hoarding a treasure chest to themselves? Obviously, it’s time to start a fire and ride the updraft it produces to get the drop on them. Enemy that’s way too big to take out one on one in a thunderstorm? Bait it with food and turn that sucker into a lightning rod by chucking something metal. Dex is all about this. (He does, however, wish you could repair equipment instead of passively watching it slowly get worn down.)

Nursey’s more into the exploration and the sights. He’s a hazard to himself, really. Chowder leaves off after the introductory tutorials and dungeons, and Nursey decides it’s a good idea to make a beeline for the castle swirling with black and purple clouds and a ravenous demon circling it. He dies. A lot. Until something pretty and glowing red calls his attention to the east, at which he point he turns his focus on it. And dies. Again. A lot. Even death in this game - in the form of crisp, deep red laser beams and soft blue, plush as hell explosions - is a thing to behold. There’s just too many beautiful sights and only four measly hearts to spare, but Nursey’s a trooper. Or a troubadour. Whatever. He perseveres.

And the game is great! What’s not great is the fact that, at least twice a week, the two of them have a similar gap between classes, and they are itching to play. They’ve only played individually though, and they’re probably not looking to share, until one day, Dex cracks and asks, “If I get the game for the first hour, you get it for the next, and we just trade off, okay?” Nursey’s indignant and puts on a front to make things difficult, even though it’s a pretty reasonable offer, but ultimately gives in. Dex returns with the Switch in his hands like a kid stealing a cookie from a cookie jar.

But playing/watching each other play is an exercise in restraint.

Dex wants to work through whatever obstacles and monsters are in his way and complete the main story, but Nursey keeps pointing out randomly glowing things off in the distance no less than twice a minute, and it drives Dex crazy. He blows himself up on his own explosives no less than twice the first time they do this. It’s hard to play while swatting Nursey’s grabby hands away from the screen. (He also gets his hands on some pretty swanky treasure and weaponry thanks to Nursey’s observational skills, but he doesn’t say anything about that.)

Nursey just wants to go climb those icy peaks with the three oddly conspicuous conifers all in a row at the top, or go wander deep into that forest with the monstrously large skeleton in the center as dusk falls, but Dex is just screaming at him and playing backseat Zelda player the whole time. “You can’t go up there. You don’t even have a jacket for the cold! You’re gonna die!” or “Exactly what part of traipsing over the corpse of a dead monster, in a forest where there’s nothing else but undead monsters, is a good idea, Nurse?” Nursey starts to listen after the (reanimated!) skeleton sits on him to death a few times. Dex gives him the idea to maybe wait until the sun comes up before approaching the thing again, and if Nursey waits until Dex isn’t in the room before he tries it, well, that’s just a coincidence. (A coincidence with some kick ass swords as a prize, but hey.)

The third week they do this, Nursey grabs the Switch first and tries to suggest something new. “Yo, instead of us just messing with each other and pissing each other off, maybe we can just, you know…” He waves a hand in between them, half-sure Dex is going to do that squinty thing with his eyes to tell Nursey he’s making no sense and say no.

“Yeah, I actually did some research on that skeleton that dropped its ass on you last time. It turns out it-”

“Wait, bro, are you saying yes to this?” A pause. “And did you seriously just call googling Zelda tips and tricks ‘research’?”

Dex goes red in the face, and Nursey’s almost sure he’s about to take back his tentative agreement until Dex, the dick that he is, makes a solid case for why they should be working together. “Look, the game rewards exploration, and you’ve clearly got some affinity for the type of shiny things game designers set up as bait, but none of the survival skills. We’ve got what the other lacks.” Nursey’s mouth splits into a shit-eating grin. “Just work with me, Nurse.”

Nursey turns his head up in mock reconsideration for a second before remembering he’s one who asked in the first place; he knows it’s fruitless to keep it up any longer. So, he just does what comes naturally and opens his mouth again. “Aw, Dexy, that’s probably the sweetest thing you’ve said to me this year.”

And so begin their new Zelda escapades, whereby Dex picks an objective related to the main quest, and Nursey points out things that might be worth checking out on the way to their destination. They still trade off every hour, but there’s a lot less dying, and a lot more sweet, sweet treasure.

Chowder gets back from class early one day, and considers giving himself some Switch time before he notices it’s not in the dock. He decides he’ll live and is about to turn down the hall to his room when he hears some very distinctive piano notes echoing weakly from the attic.

‘Those fakers,’ he thinks to himself. He creeps up the stairs and swings open the door at the top, a chirp on his lips when he sees them. The chirp dies on the spot.

They’re both conked out, and Dex is lying next to Nursey on the bottom bunk, his head most definitely resting on his shoulder. Nursey’s is resting on top of his, the Switch still in his hand by the floor of his bed.

Chowder just giggles and snaps a picture of them before turning back around and leaving.

(Blackmail, he decides, is an even better way to get Switch time.)

I think for my Stormlight Archive reread (because of course I have to do a reread before Oathbringer comes out) I’m going to make a googledoc for commentary. Cultural, natural, and character observation notes, color-coding, just. All the organization. Imma drag all the detail out of this that I can. B|

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HOW I HANDLE HOTEL ROOMS // Grace Helbig