then i was just like

I can’t wait to wake up to morning kisses, hugs from behind only a few hours after seeing each other. I’m so excited to roll over in my sleep and to crash into you with my arms and legs pulling you in. I can’t wait to drink coffee together only moments before having to leave with kisses pressed to smiles to go to work, knowing I’ll see you when I come home. I’m looking forward to sitting in the kitchen floor eating bad take out food, laughing over glasses of wine and the things that felt so stressful during the day. I can’t wait to banter over you sneaking to read my writing before I’ve shown you. I’m so excited to look at the tickle fights, the touches that aren’t sexual but just slight touches of comfort. I can’t wait to stay up watching tv shows and movies, and getting obsessed over small things together. I can’t wait to take pictures of you in your purest forms, to hang around the house. I can’t wait to get a puppy together, to make plans together, to travel together and to simply love together. I am so damn excited to find you and to learn all about you, and to love the things about yourself that are hard to love just as much as the things about you that are so easy to love. I am so excited for you, but I’m even more excited for me. It’s going to be such an honor to love you. I can’t wait for you to love me.
—  ARH // To My Future Love
finn and poe’s sl in the last jedi: a few considerations

first thing to state: these two both needed to have some kind of journey from A to B in order to arrive at the ending that this movie had in mind and the set-up for IX, finn needed to deal with Some Issues that were there since TFA and poe needed a lot of screentime to make up for the fact that while he’s one of the main three, in TFA he had very limited screen time. now.


  • needed to work on his main **character flaw** that was stated in TFA, ie: he tends to go flight when in a flight or fight response, which is entirely understandable from his POV but not exactly useful if he has to, uh, *be in a rebel resistance*;
  • needed to know more people and see more beyond what he knew since he’s been a stormtrooper all his life and only ever worked for the first order and he can’t get around just knowing rey and poe and maybe leia but it’s not like they knew each other;
  • needed to see beyond his stormtrooper bringing up and get around, you know, having individuality;

what this movie did was addressing all of that by:

  • sending him away from the only two people he knows (okay, poe not so much because they were in contact always but still) so that he has the chance to, you know, leave and come back;
  • giving him a storyline with rose ie someone who has entirely good reasons to fight for the resistance and lost her family and everything she had and opened his eyes to other horrid shit the first order did (you know, he goes from ‘this town is beautiful’ to helping her tear it apart sooo) and who admires him first as an icon but then as himself and is willing to die for *him* without really owing him anything beforehand;
  • doing that, he realized which were his priorities, he fought for people other than his two friends, he realized that he wanted to be rebel scum (or did I dream that conversation with phasma) and by the end he was about to die for the cause when in the beginning his first thought was running (without even warning poe for that matter) so that he’d save his ass and rey’s. which is entirely understandable from his pov, again, but it was something the movie needed to address and is named character development, which he got in spades;
  • now he’s reunited with his friends, made more friends, knows his place in the world and doesn’t want to run anymore. mission accomplished.


  • needed more time to have his personality established given his lack thereof in TFA;
  • needed to be established as leia’s successor which this movie obviously was pointing at;
  • needed to learn the skills to be a good leader;

now, they could have shown him already being good at it, but thing is: this movie ran two hours and a half and no one wants a Perfect Protagonist Without A Flaw in movies, because it’s completely unrealistic and the fact that poe was a+++ amazing in TFA worked because we saw him less than the other two, if he was like that all the time he’d have been a gary stu.

so, what this movie did was addressing all of the above by:

  • giving him a hell of a lot of screentime which was used to show us that while he’s an excellent guy all around he does have some flaws;
  • (which are all by the way entirely consistent with his character because if he’s a hothead who likes to blow things up and fly in the middle of the action he most likely won’t consider that sometimes you have to retreat or that sometimes you have to look at saving lives rather than making sacrifices of most people you have before being left with a handful)
  • establishing that he and leia have definitely a parental/familial vibe because she basically treats him like she’d treat her own family and they’re familiar in ways you are not with your boss;
  • putting him in a situation where he realizes that acting rashly means you get demoted regardless of how good you are at your job;
  • giving him the tension with holdo which made him realize that you can be a good leader also by retreating and not ATTACKING all the time, that sometimes you have to buy time like that and that it’s not cowardly to run and that it’s not necessary to go around sacrificing your own life and others’s for the cause;
  • doing all of the above, he went from promising general to virtually effective leia substitute, because at the end of the movie he did exactly the contrary of what he did in the beginning, told finn what leia told him (to disengage), stopped finn from going after kylo and luke when he realized luke was buying them time so they could run, and leia herself told people to follow him and not her, which brings us to the conclusion that the infamous rewrites post-tfa most likely were to give him a larger role and effectively set him up to become the next general (also because let’s be real, if han died in VII and luke died in this one, leia was gonna die in the next one if carrie had lived to act in it, and all of them needed the new trio to pick up where they left from), and this when poe was a character who was supposed to be killed at the beginning of tfa.
  • like, they gave all of this hell of a storyline to a character who was supposed to not even survive the first movie, that’s how much they liked him and how much they accounted for the fans liking him.

so: what happened with this movie was giving them arcs with proper screentime for both which addressed points that couldn’t be addressed in TFA and set them up respectively to a) finn being a full part of the resistance where he’s staying by his own choice and where he’s made friends and found his own individuality and not forcing him to be it which would have happened if he stayed in the main ship for the entirety of tlj, he needed to leave and come back and get rid of his former boss/phasma to fully leave his past behind, b) poe being the new general of the resistance with leia’s full blessing and after we saw that he learned how to be one and we can trust him to take good decisions because he learned on his own skin what it means to take bad ones.

doesn’t seem to me like *character assassination*, except that of course we get to the crux of the problem which is, ‘stormpilot didn’t happen’ and ‘neither of them is confirmed gay’ and apparently that trumps everything else. ship discourse under the cut because this post is long.

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So I enjoyed The Last Jedi, it has its faults but I enjoyed it. The one thing I don’t understand is how people could still be pro-Reylo? Like I was kind of worried that something was going to happen and then Kylo proved that he is a little dick and nothing is going to change that. I genuinely don’t think he is going to get a redemption arc and I am totally okay with that and will honestly be disappointed if he does get one. He has proven he doesn’t care about anything but power and he doesn’t even have a good reason like Anakin. He just wants to be evil and you know what? Those characters don’t come back, and shouldn’t.

Give me like 48 hours to decide if this is just about the soundtracks or the movies themselves.

Mike grabs his hand and lifts it up, examining it sharply in front of his eyes.

“Your hand. It’s small.”

Will stares a second in wonder, before snorting amusedly. He pulls his hand out of Mike’s grasp and pats his shoulder with an astute kind of expression. “Well yes, Micheal, you may see it that way because of your flipper of a hand. You’re a big person y’know?” He adjusts his sketchbook in his lap, barely managing to get three more lines on paper before Mike cuts in again.

“Well, yes, but they weren’t as small two weeks ago or? Am I missing something?”

Will sighs and claps the book closed, looking up. Mike’s dark wispy hair curls to frame his face, ebony eyes barely peeking through his wild fringe. But still, the comically big size they’ve grown to is clearly visible and Will can’t fight the quirk of his lip. He lays the book beside him on the bed and turns fully to Mike, who gazes at him expectantly.

“Micheal Wheeler, you’ve been having growth spurts since seventh grade continuously and you’re seriously telling me now that ‘my hands are small’? Mike you’re around six inches taller than me! I’ve always been small, it’s nothing new!”

Mike cocks his had, wild curls bobbing. “No you haven’t.”

Will stops for a second. Then he groans, throwing his hands in exasperation. He falls backward into the bed and presses his fingers onto his eyelids. “You’ve been acting weird, but that surely takes the cake.” he sighs.

The tilt of his head swings to the other side and Mike huffs. “Excuse me? How have I been acting weird?”

As if attached to an elastic Will shoots up again, almost looking appalled. “Have we been in the same dimension for the last days? Do you even notice how strange you’re behaving? Since days you’re telling me stuff about my appearance that’s been there for years! The mole over my lips has been there since I was born, Mike, you’ve known me since we were three! And compliments? What’s with all these compliments?? My eyes are pretty well… thanks? But-“ His voice subsides as he feels the skin of his cheeks burn. He slaps his hand swiftly against them and presses his lips into a thin line. He looks up.

There’s this thing about Micheal Wheeler that always makes Will… quiet. He is a quiet person naturally, but it’s this thing like watching a movie, where you should be quiet to admire all of its volumes and aesthetics in the greatest way possible. To admire its full beauty.

Will blinks, looking into Mike’s eyes. If he wouldn’t know it better, he could see galaxies swirling in them, those deep, shiny eyes. Deep shiny eyes, probably the size of saucers right now, and pale freckled cheeks painted in a deep red.

Mike Wheeler may be a big person, but right now he appears very small, knees presses to his chest with his lanky arms slung around. His lips are pressed against his thigh. Wide eyes barely peeking through those wild locks, he just stares and stares and stares. Will eases his lips. “Mike?” He hums. Will waits.

Slowly, Mike lifts his head to speak. His voice cracks, his cheeks are aflame. “But your eyes are really pretty. You’re really pretty.” Will’s lips form into a small ‘o’. His cheeks still burn.

“Thank you.

“You’re welcome.”


“I think I like you.”


Will stares. He will have to pore over books in the library later to find a fitting word for what exactly Mike Wheeler does to him, because right at this second, he could only describe it as trapping his whole being, his whole world, his whole universe in his eyes. And that’s just what he wants.

He glances down, at that flipper of a hand that’s fidgeting with the blanket of Will’s bed. He looks at his own. It’s really small compared to his. He laughs breathily.

“I think I like you too.”