then i said f it

2

She came over almost an hour later. I never got to see her on a regularly basis so I was excited. She always walked in so confidently, it would send my heart reeling.

I knew we weren’t connecting lately, but today was not the day to fix that. I took her in, all of her. God she looked so damn good. My heart thudded as she came near.

“Hana what did-“
“Wait! I, uh, I just bought this game. I thought maybe we could play together?”
“Hana, I-”
“Come on! You said games stimulate the brain. Please?”
“I didn’t have this game in mind when I-”
Please?” I held up the cover and tried to make an enticing face.
I knew I failed, but I also knew she was in love with me, so my failure wouldn’t matter.
She smiled. Yes! I thought, I managed to reel her in.

She walked over and kissed me. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Is it really so bad to try to get my girlfriend to spend more time with me?”
“No, I’ve already cleared my schedule for tonight. I was only watching you try for the fun of it.”
I frowned. She always did that to me. I never had the upper hand with her, even when I thought I did.

I ran and hopped over the sofa.
“Come on then!” I started the game as she made her way over.
I was really excited. I had been counting down the days for this game’s release, Destiny Effect. It was one of my favorites.
While I played I felt completely free from everything. I was saving the world, I was actually in control of something. Plus I was damn good at the game, so it’d boost whatever little confidence I had. Of course, Nia sucked.

I was thoroughly enjoying myself, because I found something I was better at than her. Nia was so competitive. She was so good at so much and I always felt like I couldn’t keep up with her. So now, I was taking in every minute. 

I made myself comfortable on her lap and looked up at her. I was so in love with this girl. I still couldn’t believe she was back, sometimes I had to forcibly remind myself that I hadn’t been dreaming this past month.

She was starting her usual pattern of missing for days, and I knew she might be headed for longer stretches of time. I felt a hole in my chest just thinking about it.
I was still looking up at her.
“What.” She asked without looking down.
I chuckled and turned back towards the screen.
“You suck.”
“Yes, well. I’m relieved our lives don’t depend on my skills.”
“No, but the fate of the galaxy does.”

Some little shit decided to request something from me and when I said no they started acting like a baby and being really persistent.
They asked me to draw something from FNaF and I said no because I’m not in the fandom.
They kept asking, and I kept saying no.
Eventually they said “F U.”
Like
Are you serious?
I don’t have TIME to draw what you want.
And being a baby like that isn’t helping your case.
God.
The person is @toychica-chicken
A fan account for Ak-tastics old Toy Chica and Bonnie ship.
Nice.

Just like video games have adjustable gameplay difficulty settings, they should also have adjuatable foul language settings. All the violence stays the same, but when the bad guys get shot they just go “OH JEEPERS” or “MY GOOD SIR”

The mad bartender.

God I spent countless hours as a teen playing on a heavily modded and roleplay enforced ultima online server. I played Cedric Sartone, simple farmer turned tavern owner who eventually turned it into THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN. It was poppin every night, I was buddies with every adventurer, soldier, mage, druid, and ranger that played the game. After they went out and grinded their skills and did their quests, I was waiting for them with a warm fire and plenty of ale. I’d buy their ingredients and make awesome food and booze (max level cooking!) and was privy to all the gossip.

Little did they know I had a side hobby, I was brewing massive amounts of the most gamebreakingly toxic poison possible. For over a year I roleplayed with these people as a simple barman, pretended to be their friend and confidant, and then during a harvest festival where every player on our server was in attendance and I was payed to provide the food and drink… I poisoned every last morsel of food, every drop of drink and after the reagent delivered his speech and all of these fools raised their goblets for the toast and took that deadly sip, I stepped onto the stage and revealed what had happened. They where all going to die, and die they did.

Now this was a permanent death server (hardcore rpers mind you) and some had been playing those characters for 8 years and there they all were, collapsed and dying. Soon they were all unconscious, as you could only die if you went unconscious three times in one day or if a certain psychotic bartender came and cut off your head… which I did to every player in our group of 38. They were all there, and unfortunately so was I.

Revenge against what, you ask?

So the server had a pretty strict policy regarding pvp and pk, essentially the GMs had to determine if there was in character justification for any instance of disputed player killing, obviously my situation prompted a call for an investigation. I understood those rules from the start though, and I kept a written log in the game where I detailed my character’s building hatred of every single other player character in the world. He would keep track of every little thing from petty slights, to unpaid tabs, but more importantly I adopted the little mannerisms that people roleplayed to develop their characters into the madness of mine.

So Elias was always whistling, well I recorded how infuriating Cedric found it in his journal, and soon he had multiple journals packed full of a thousand reasons an unstable maniac could use to justifiably (re: server rules) murder anyone. The reagent who was also the server admin had some ornate cloak with a custom texture, so I wrote like three pages about how pompous it was, and extrapolated what kind of insufferable prick he must have been for wearing it.

I would just write one or two things down every day for over a year, so I had many books full for the GMs to locate in the tavern basement and read through. The result was that they found my massacre to be in good form and in-character, so the server was not rolled back and instead they decided to reset and implement a new landmass they had been working on. Some people were really pissed off, mostly a handful of the veteran players who had been top dog for several years in their little gladiator arena.

I only did any of it because my first character was murdered by some overzealous asshole who just used his character to project his inferiority complex. He killed me on my second day on the server because I wandered into the funeral of his friend (it was taking place in the middle of town and there was a crowd, of course I was curious) and because I was not invited and he was a known prick it was found justifiable for his character to kill mine because of the emotional turmoil blah blah. So yeah I said f*ck that, and rolled a new character who was ostensibly eager to please and non-threatening. I won.

The thing is you don’t need them in your life.
Whoever it is you’re thinking about, I promise you don’t.
And you shouldn’t, you gotta be able to stand on your own two feet.

But I’d be a f*cking liar if I said I didn’t want you in mine.

—  giant-baby-tree 
8

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND OPEN!”

gif request meme » Borderlands + favorite minor character

Surprise, you're pregnant!

Freshman year of college, my university had a requirement to live in an on campus dorm room (think room size of 12ftx10ft) with a roommate. I found a roommate, and we got along fine until he started dating this girl who lived a few floors below us.

Eventually, she ended up spending every night in our room and moved her toothbrush and towel up to our room as well. It annoyed the shit out of me, but since I was a naive freshman and this was my first time living out of the house I put up with it.

Finally, one night I asked my roommate if his girlfriend could not spend the night since I had a test the next morning for my 8am class, and I was trying to sleep early. Well at 12:15am she walks in and wakes me up.

I was furious so the next day I drove to the store and bought a pregnancy test. I took it apart, faked the results to say positive, and left it on his desk in our room. When he got back that night, my roommate freaked out and started calling his girlfriend. I was pretty satisfied about those 20 minutes of sheer terror I cause him.

Also one night she was trying to stay in our room when my roommate was gone. I texted him “what the f*ck” and he said, “ just act like she isn’t there” so I waited for her to fall asleep and then brought a bunch of people from around the dorm into the room, turned all the lights on, and started blasting music.

in 50 years
  • Me: Gather around children, grandma has a story to tell you
  • Me: It was a Tuesday; October 27, 2015. F(x) released their best album. It was called... 4 Walls...
  • Grandchildren: This story again Grandma!?
  • Me: You exist because I exist and I'm alive because of them so sit down and shut up
  • Me: Okay so, it was October 27, 2015...
4

that’s it, that’s the whole show

“I’ll give you a choice.”  Lotor’s voice is loud over the hushed silence of the paladins.

Lance imagines that he’s anywhere that isn’t here.  Remembers the beach and the sand warming his toes, a flower field in his dreams, the training room of the castle.  He even pretends he’s somewhere he’d never been–sitting in Keith’s room, just talking.  It doesn’t matter that it isn’t real.  With labored breaths he tries to think of what it would be like to sit on the edge of Keith’s bed, their knees knocking together, and his chest aches.  

If this were any other situation, maybe something less prone to break his heart, he’d laugh at how pathetic he was being.  How, inevitably, his thoughts always lead to Keith.  

Behind him, he hears the screaming of his friends.  They fade out when Lotor finally breaks the heavy silence. 

“You can either come with me,” he starts, eyes shining in the dark of the ship. The paladins had cut the power supply in an attempt to take out the ship’s defenses.  It unfortunately had not worked.  “Or,” he continues, leaning in close so only Lance can hear and feel the warmth of his breath in his ear, “I will kill him.”  

His heart sinks and sinks.  But no choice has ever been easier.  He decides in a single breath, a single heartbeat. 

“What’ll it be?”

Lance can hear him screaming, his name coming out a bleeding, broken thing from Keith’s throat over and over.  It’s the last thing he hears, the last sound that echoes in his heart, before his own voice spills out, “Yes, yes.”

Talks Machina - Live from WonderCon Highlights
  • Denise message: “One push of a button and this all comes crashing down.”
  • “I am your host for this afternoon, Affordable Chris Hardwick.”
  • Sam sings Britney Spears on command.
  • Asked what they were most surprised by: Matt talks about how surprised he was at the positivity in the community, Laura was surprised at all the sexy-time art, Sam was surprised that three fan babies (thus far) have been named after Liam and wants to emphasize that Sam is a great name as well, Liam was surprised at the number of new D&D games people have started playing.
  • Matt emphasizes the importance of the back-and-forth inherent in the online platform, so that it’s not just one-sided content production, because that’s what they wanted to avoid when agreeing to do the show.
  • Travis: “Once we got used to the random-ass cameras in the room, we just kept doing our thing.”
  • Sam: “But we always did blame Keyleth, even in the home game. Kept that consistent.”
  • Laura on the show: “It’s getting to hang out with our family every single week.”
  • Laura gets pre-show jitters every time before the show. Matt: “Don’t even talk about pre-show jitters to me, guys.” He’s generally freaking out for a full hour before each game.
  • “Some people walk out to the ring with hardcore metal music. We just yell profanities at our DM before starting.”
  • Liam is distracted mid-answer when Sam and Laura start messing with his hair.
  • Liam: “We’re not faking it, we weren’t cast. These are the closest people in my life, and they helped me work through some shit on stage, and it’s one of the greatest gifts in my life.”
  • Liam: “We are role models.” Laura: “We’re the worst.” Travis: “We’re Seal Team 6, shut up.”
  • Matt re: hellish contract-signing: “I absolutely love everything you do that is a poor choice. It fills me with such joy and inspiration.”
  • Travis: “We don’t plan on doing anything good.” Brian: “Or anything well.”
  • Sam talks about how scary and exciting it was to start playing a new character after everyone had been playing these characters for five years.
  • Everyone has some trouble with the WonderCon “some of your audience may be under 18 so be careful with your language” policy. Brian: “…I said the F-word in the introduction.”
  • Brian: “In the nearly 100 episodes of this show, there have been many, many guest stars, but would you say this one was… the first Noelle?”
  • Matt re: Rothfuss. “Yeah, the guy can write. He should write a book. Maybe a third book.”
  • Marisha: “[Keyleth]’s always gonna put her foot in her mouth at least once a week.” Travis: “And get arrested at least once a year?” Marisha: “…Yeah.”
  • Taliesin: “Percy will never stop pretending he doesn’t have anger issues.”
  • Liam: “Vax will probably always jump in front of trains to protect his family.”
  • Laura: “Vex will probably always hold grudges, and she’ll always wanna get naked in random situations. And she’ll always love Trinket.”
  • Marisha and Taliesin both don’t want to multiclass and are aiming to get to level 20. Sam? “I mean, I just asked Matt what multiclass meant.”
  • Matt wants someone to draw VM sitting in the City of Dis saying “This is fine.”
  • Matt on Vex failing persuasion checks: “Roll higher.”
  • The entire cast desperately wants Lin-Manuel Miranda to guest on the game now that he’s played some D&D.
  • The attack on Emon was one of Matt’s favorite moments as a DM.
  • Dream guests: Stephen Colbert, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Sam: “It would be nice to have the entire cast of Cats.” The Stranger Things kids. Dame Judy Dench, now that she knows how to play.
  • Laura and Sam get into a Trinket vs. Doty debate.
  • Marisha on Matt: “Every time he gets a new Dwarven Forge set, he plays house.” “It’s practicing.”
  • Sam has actually sat down to write a little bit of Taryon’s book.
  • Matt discusses the finer points of litigation in the Nine Hells.
  • Matt and Sam are meeting this week to figure out what Scanlan’s been doing while all everything has been happening.
17408 Fansign:

- Mark said he had the ahgabong constantly on for 2-3 days
MK: it was on constantly I changed the battery before i went but its gone now

-  Jinyoung said because he didn’t play the games well yesterday, Youngjae made fun of him

-  Yugyeom said he wasn’t able to go to the Arbor Day event cuz he was sick F: dont be sick i was worried 

-  Youngjae said that he thinks that he will go back to black hair soon

-  Jinyoung said there isnt any perfume he is using lately

-  F: Why did u wear sth inside ur shirt for Paradise on GOT the stage JY: cuz the studio was cold & I didnt want to satisfy u guys’ desire

-  F: what r u doing for ur solo vapp? I heard the concept is sth ur not good at YJ: yup I didn’t decide yet what should i do?  F: (as a joke) driving? YJ: oh (to the staff) can I get my driving license for my vapp?

-  JB said his fav song in this album is Paradise

-  Mark said he didn’t eat things like bugs but he ate sth like a chicken and it was tasty that he ate in the jungle was delicious

-  They said they filmed Real GOT7 today before they came to the fansign

-  Yugyeom said on the days he plays bowling well he scores around 100 and usually around 70s

-  Fan asked if the cats get along well JB: they get along well they don’t fight for ranking Nora is top and Kunta and Odd is around the same

-  Jinyoung said for Zepp there isn’t a solo stage and it’s undecided for Yoyogi and Korean concert is also undecided

-  Fan asked Mark what he ate at the jungle Mark said he didn’t eat and that he was bitten by a bug so he had a bump on his face

-  WOLO will be release in a different album not on a concert album but the time is undecided yet

-  Bambam said his cafe in Thailand will open this month

-  Fan told Jackson that lot of fans were surprised from the photo Mama Wang uploaded cuz Jackson looked like his brother but he said he doesnt

-  Mark said it was hard sleeping that he really slept outdoors F: what about food did u really eat insects? MK: i didn’t eat it but it was fun

-  F: if you get a chance do you have thoughts on doing a musical? YJ: i want to do it

translation

Whipped Cream

Y/N has created a chatroom.

Y/N has added Sam, Bucky, and Tony.

Y/N: Now which one of you little pricks, put whipped cream all over my bedroom?

Sam: First of all,

Sam: RUDE.

Bucky: What is whipped cream?

Y/N: Oh don’t fuck with me now, Barnes.

Tony has added Steve

Tony: Cap, she said the f word.

Tony: For the record Y/N, I am deeply disappointed that the first suspect would be the three of us.

Steve: Can you PLEASE shut the fuck up already?

Y/N: OOOHHHHHHHHHH SHITTTTT.

Y/N has added Scott, T’Challa, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Peter.

Y/N: GET THE POPCORNS GUYS. THIS IS GETTING GOOD.

T’Challa: At least he has enough manners to ask nicely.

Sam: BURN BABY, BUUUURN.

Bucky: Quick, we gotta cool him down.

Bucky has left the chat

Sam: Never thought I’ll say this, but.

Sam: WAIT FOR ME.

Sam has left the chat.

T’Challa: But one Civil war was more than enough for my taste,

T’Challa: So I want no part in this one.

T’Challa has left the chat.

Clint: What I retire for 2 minutes and you guys start throwing fire at Stark? C’mon give him a break, you see he’s old.

Natasha has joined the chat.

Nat: Why are Sam and Bucky running around the tower spilling water everywhere?

Nat: Oh.

Tony: Thanks buddy, I wonder how many times you’ll come back from your retirement once I disable those fingers.

Clint has been disconnected.

Tony has left the chat.

Wanda: DANG it, I was really getting into it.

Scott: Guys, now I am scared.

Scott: Clint and Tony are running around the tower throwing things at each other.

Steve: Guys, seriously we should stop them, before they wreck everything.

Peter: Uh, yeah I agree with Mr. Rogers.

Wanda: I dare you to stop them, and I promise you that your worst nightmare will seem like the sweetest dream.

Y/N: YOU GO GIRL.

Steve: No need to get violent.

Scott: Since we’re not allowed to stop them,

Scott: Does anyone wanna go with me and record this?

Nat: Let’s go, tiny.

Scott: For the record I am not that tiny

Scott: I mean you all saw me.

Nat: You coming or nah?

Nat has left the chat.

Scott: On my way, Mrs grumpy kills.

Scott has left the chat.

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: For the record, I am team Clint.

Sam has left the chat.

Y/N: SAMEE

Wanda: Hell yeah.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor has added Bruce.

Thor: I am pleased to see that they don’t require our help.

Bruce: Civil war, part two.

Bruce: Unbelievable.

Bruce has left the chat.

Steve: Well I know for sure I am not just gonna sit here while they wreck the whole place down.

Steve has left the chat.

Y/N: There goes Mama Steve.

Wanda: Always so careful of its little ones.

Peter: Guys, I think we should help him.

Y/N: YOU ARE NO FUN PARKER.

Peter has left the chat.

Wanda: I gotta go, gotta find Pietro, I haven’t seen him for a while.

Wanda has left the chat.

Y/N: Wait a minute

Y/N: Oh you smooth motherfuckers.

Thor: It is not suitable for one lady to have filthy mouth like that.

Y/N: can’t you see what they just did?

Thor: Wreck the Avengers Tower?

Y/N: Yeah that too,

Y/N: BUT THEY DISTRACTED ME AND I HAVEN’T FOUND OUT WHO WRECKED MY ROOM IN THE END.

Thor: Well, Lady Y/N, I might be of some help there.

Y/N: WAIT WHAT?

Y/N: YOU KNEW WHOLE THIS TIME WHO DID IT AND YOU ONLY SPEAK NOW?

Thor: Now it seems like a good time, yeah.

Y/N: THEN TELL ME ALREADY

Thor: But don’t tell him I told you

Y/N: oh what are we 12 now? SPEAK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Thor: It was Bucky and Sam.

Y/N: OHHH THOSE TWO MOTHERFUCKERS ARE DEAD ONCE I CATCH THEM.

Y/N has left the chat.

Thor: Such a nice lady with such a filthy mouth.

Thor: I would rethink bringing her to meet my mother.

Thor has left the chat.


This is my first avengers chatroom, hope you like it.

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one of the MANY reasons I LOVE Amber ❤︎