then i realized it was an octopus

a JuminZen wedding crasher fanfic idea

(aka I have so many fics to write SOMEONE TAKE THIS IDEA AWAY FROM ME)

  • it all starts when Chairman Han wants Jumin to get married to Sarah Choi
  • Jumin hates the idea but goes through with it because it makes his dad and the company happy
  • Jumin complains about it on the messenger
  • on the night before the wedding Zen realizes Jumin will bind himself forever to some crappy woman and his brain is like HEYO DO YOU FINALLY GET IT YOU TSUNDERE
  • Wedding day arrives, it takes place in a really fancy church with a shitton of reporters
  • Jumin is fucking miserable because Sarah is clinging to him like an octopus and won’t stfu about her wedding night
  • The priest is taking their vows and he wonders if ‘please kill me’ would be rude to say
  • Suddenly! Zen bursts through the church door
  • “I OBJECT!”
  • Zen knows how to make an entrance
  • He runs towards Jumin who looks really good in his black tux
  • tells him not to marry her
  • “She doesn’t love you. But I do.”
  • GASP
  • Jumin is really overwhelmed??
  • kisses the actor right there and then
  • Sarah is screaming
  • Glam Choi faints
  • a million camera flashes
  • Zen grabs his hand and runs out of the church with him
  • Jumin probably expects his dad to disown him but that’s okay
  • (makes a mental note to pick up Elizabeth 3rd when that happens)
  • the next day newspapers, magazines, EVERYTHING has pictures of the wedding
  • Chairman Han is pissed at first but then discovers he was gonna get scammed
  • the entire RFA goes wild
  • 707 demands a wedding
BTS Reaction: You not paying attention to them

My ask box is always open! Feel free to stop by and send some love or if you have a request, don’t be shy to ask~ alrighty enjoy


Jimin: *rambles about Jungkook*

“and then Jungkook made fun of my dancing again! I can’t believe him! I wish he would respect me more I mean i’m older and I was born in Busan fir-”

*realizes you weren’t listening*

“princess did you hear what I just said?”

You: *busy doing homework*

“nope”

Jimin: *makes a sad face and acts like he’s hurt*

“princess…~”

Originally posted by parkjmzl

Namjoon: *starts rambling about this article he read about octopuses*

“and apparently male octopuses have to be careful when it comes to mating because female octopuses are much larger and will eat the male octopu-”

“are you listening?”

You: *studying for an exam*

“Joonie i’m studying!”

Namjoon: *shakes his head in disappointment*

“I can’t believe you didn’t listen to me just now. I said some pretty interesting things”

Originally posted by rapnamu

Jin: *wants your attention*

“Y/N look at me and tell me how beautiful I am”

You: *doesn’t look up and keeps reading”

“Jin i’m trying to read stop distracting me”

Jin: *yells at you at the top of his lungs*

“I JUST WANT YOUR ATTENTION! NOTICE ME”

Originally posted by royalfoodraider

You: *paying attention in opening the crab and getting the meat out*

Hoseok: “princess”

“baby look at me”

“babe…”

“fine”

You: *finishes opening the crab*

“sorry hobi I was too distracted with this crab leg. look at it! I opened it very well”

Hoseok: *butt hurt*

*ignores you*

Originally posted by hoseokjimin

Yoongi: *complains about dance practice*

“our dancing routine got harder than before…”

You: *continues to look through your bag not paying attention to what Yoongi said*

Yoongi: "It’s okay I love talking to myself anyways”

Originally posted by sugagifs

Taehyung: *talks about wanting to go back to Hawaii*

“Hawaii was the best! the food was great and the people were amazing! and the view! don’t get me started with the view”

You: *nods while going over your textbook not paying attention to what Taehyung was saying*

Taehyung: *doesn’t notice you not listening and keeps on going*

“I really want to go back to Hawaii”

Originally posted by jimiyoong

Jungkook: “babe what do you want to eat?”

“babe”

“baby”

“babes”

“bebe”

“buhbee”

“bb”

You: *doesn’t respond and continues to scroll on tumblr*

Jungkook: “fine let’s not eat and just starve. that’s okay too”

*goes on his phone trying to distract himself*

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

On Friday I take my girlfriend to the aquarium
We hold hands in the luminescent glow of the jellyfish tanks
Our fingers weaving together like tangled anemone
I point to the ugliest fish I can find and say
“You”
She rolls her eyes and smirks at a plaque next to a fish that reads
“Crappie”
And says
“You”

Rain spatters the sidewalks outside
But we stay nice and dry
Nudging our way between bulky strollers
That block the aisles between tanks
We try to take selfies with the sharks
But the lighting isn’t right so they come out blurry
We laugh at their need for braces instead
Remarking that good dental hygiene is a privilege not granted
To aquatic life


I always like the room with the snakes
The way their bodies wrap around themselves
Like how her arm circles my waist at night
She marvels at the tarantula
But when I catch sight of it I cringe back
It stands still as a statue,
Its eight eyes unblinking,
Its eight legs unflinching –


I wait eight seconds before I look again
But then I can’t stop
Even though I want to
I start to point at it and say to my girlfriend
“You”
Because it’s ugly
But not in a cute way
So I stop
Because it doesn’t feel funny this time
I remember it’s poisonous if they bite you
But their mouths are too small so they’re harmless
I pull her away by the hand
But eight eyes tickle the back of my neck as we go


I feel them through every exhibit,
Through the sting rays
And the starfish,
The octopus and the seahorses,
It takes me until the turtles to realize
The eyes have been following me the whole time
Or rather, following us
The mom pushing the stroller with twins,
The dad with his daughter on his shoulders
Their eyes flit from our faces to our hands
I think I am the tarantula


I stand as still as possible
She doesn’t notice them but I do
The seconds between my heartbeats when their eyes flicker down
Turning from friendly to cold in a moment
My heart might as well have been plunged into the shark tank
My throat is wet and I can’t breathe
With the way they immediately snap their eyes away
As if it’s rude to be caught staring at two girls holding hands
Except they always skitter back
Like magnet to coin
They don’t want to look
But they do
They flinch away from the way she tugs me along after her
And I feel poison fill the spaces between my teeth
Staining my tongue silver
But she squeezes my hand and I know
I can’t fit my mouth around
The skin of every person who has scoffed at
Two girls holding hands in public


So I swallow the words
And let her pull me to the next room
But I meet their eyes on my way out
Until they pretend to have manners
And focus on the fish in the tank
And I secretly hope they feel the ghost
Of the venom I tasted on my tongue
Tickling the back of their necks
Their entire way home
Knowing that ignoring the stares of those who
Think that just because we look different they can stare at us like
Creatures in a cage
Is a privilege not granted
To two girls in love

—  on friday i take my girlfriend to the aquarium // a.d.c // 4.4.17

Once someone told me that I’m as “deep as an ocean,” and it wasn’t until recently that I realized, I didn’t really believe it. Sure I have the occasional passing philosophical thought chain, but I’m too wacky and ridiculous to be like an ocean. 

Then I remembered this fucker: 

And suddenly being as deep and full as an ocean didn’t seem so far fetched. Because sure the ocean is full of majestic creatures: 

But then there’s shit like this: 

Originally posted by krgray

So never believe that your depth is only limited to the things you feel are majestic, but realize that it extends to your flopping sea pancake side as well. 

anonymous asked:

Imagine: Karma and Nagisa in the BNHA universe! They attend Kunugigaoka High, an increasingly popular hero school that focuses on producing highly specialized heros. Class E is supposedly for students with discipline problems / on probation but in actually is for those training to be underground heros (it’s better their existence isn’t advertised, for obvious reasons).

Nagisa’s quirk is “Naga”. He can turn into a naga with snake like eyes, poisonous fangs, patches of scales, and a snake tail in place of his legs. (His hero outfit includes a kilt, because snake tails do not fit into pants). Karma’s quirk is “Demon Arms”. He grows black claws and his skin turns all leathery, after which he can produce and manipulate fire with said hands. Karma’s mother was a Todoroki, and Enji’s cousin, making Karma Shouto’s second cousin (or something along those lines).

Korosensei was a villain with a speed/reflex quirk of some sort, but was “infected” by a tentacle quirk. Said infection enhanced his natural abilities but also let the originator of the quirk control him, by administering pain at will. That was the idea anyway, but “Korosensei” did not approve and actually saved some heros by backstabbing the assholw … Only to find out that made the quirk “jump” to the nearest infected person. Oops. Now he gets to be octopus man, and teach as his parole.

Originally posted by hebihime

okay SO

I really love this concept, but let me take certain things in my hands, if you will. 

I feel like Nagisa is one not to have a Quirk that expresses in normal circumstances. 

For, quite a long time, he believed he was Quirkless because “Nagi” only activated when Nagisa really wanted something, and only as sharp eyes that analyze every move the object of his affection has, without them realizing so. (Which led to people not discovering his Quirk, because the very nature of it was not to be seen.) 

It wasn’t until about ten, when along the eyes, scales began forming. His mother freaked out, and so did Nagisa, making him self consious and not wanting to use his Quirk.  

He entered  Kunugigaoka with the false pretense of being Quirkless and trying the General Department. But everything changed when Karma entered the picture. 

Nagisa has the… unusual tendency to just activate his Quirk when something of his interest appears before him, and since no one had actually caught him using it, he never bothered to control it. 

Until Karma. 

Turns out Nagisa is super interested in Karma, and his Quirk activates almost all the time Karma is around. Which obviously draws more attention to his Quirk the more he uses it. When Nagisa starts getting more comfortable, the scales even begin to appear. 

Which led to it being discovered he has a Quirk. Which has been considered “dangerous” and “a hazard for not knowing how to handle it”, escencially landing him on the E class. 

The Class is for “Problem Children” in the eyes of everyone else. But it’s more accurately a class for “Kids who the school can’t control and need to be under survillance” or even more accurately, “Potential Villains” and are treated as such. 

When Korosensei entr the picture, everyone kind of freaks out because a Villain is going to take care of other Potential Villains, But Korosensei, despite teaching in the way a Villain would, is resposible for making them know that society doesn’t determine who is a Villain or a Hero. 

“A Villains can do good things, and a Hero can do bad things,” he told Nagisa, when he was scared of harming someone with his Quirk. “People like to label things in ways they can understand, but that does not mean you’re evil or good. Just focus on being a good person, and focus on doing things you believe are okay. People might still call you a Villain, but you know you’re doing the right thing.” 

With time, Nagisa manages to control his Quirk. Which is turning into a mosnter like snake that doesn’t have a lot of Hero value, but could kill someone in an instant. 

It still makes him dizzy to use it full power, but he’s getting there. 

(And yeah, a lot of people do wonder if he’s a girl or a boy bcs of the kilt.)

I don’t know why, but I just realized that most of Ford’s adult life has had some kind of pig involvement.

-in college, his roommate grew up on a hog farm.

- same roommate later becomes lab assistant that he has to threaten to kick out of a pig shows up in the house.

- Octopus armed pig warriors while in the portal

- Waddles

I just think that’s funny and interesting.

Scary Movie- Jakob Chychrun

Originally posted by ryanhartman

Sorry this is a few minutes late but I had a mental breakdown and so yeah… People suck ok? Anyway enjoy!

Warning: none

Anon Request: Hei!!! Love ur writing:)). can you write a Jakob chychrun story where you watch a scary movie together and end out making out?

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

              You weren’t sure how you had let Jakob talk you into this.

Keep reading

Moana: Island Life

A compilation of the little nuggets I’ve found so far in the game Moana: Island Life. More sure to come as I keep playing my way through the game!


JOKES AND JAPES

“Until Maui realizes he needs help.” Hint: it takes several in-game days. 

There’s no end to Moana’s sass in this game. 

Literally, no end. 

I could go on and on. 


CHIEF MOANA

Our Voyager Chief has a reputation!!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Who's your favorite background/minor SH character?

god they’re all so incredible. a list of faves includes

  • terry tarsal, who is 10000% done with everyone’s bs
  • maize smalls, who takes her job of lighting a billion candles like, every night, very seriously and also has an evil cat named binksy
  • ma custard, who had to put up with merrin for months on end and somehow didn’t snap, too good for this world
  • maureen, who runs away with the cute potato peeler boy and is able to start up a thriving pie shop in the super skeevy port. also loves simon and lucy and will do whatever she can to help them, 10/10
  • sir hereward, who actually plays a pretty important role to several plots, tells the same bad jokes all the time and tries to kill people with his Ghost Sword™
  • hugo, who grows up to be an alchemist because septimus was the first person who bothered to spend time with him as a kiddo
  • demelza heap, who we never even SEE, but just hear about from marcellus, who said she was a good friend and a great wizard who got lost in the house of foryx and emerged 200 years later, and was shocked when marcellus believed her story before he revealed who he was. ancient heap, friends with marcellus, displaced in time, cool as hell
  • gringe’s bridge boy, who is pretty dumb and honestly just Trying His Best, epitome of “didn’t sign up for this”
  • matt and marcus marwick, emo twins who didn’t realize they were actually triplets, chill as hell, their boss thinks they switch places on him but they honestly couldn’t care less, ex-young army soldiers
  • betty crackle, the keeper of the marram marshes before zelda, sarah’s grandmother, almost definitely fed a boy to an octopus when on her apprentice test
  • every person who works at jannit maarten’s, even if they’re not minor. jannit maarten’s is ridiculous and i love everyone there
Lies I Tell to Sales Clerks: Part 1

I keep lying to sales clerks.

I don’t intend to lie to sales clerks. I don’t go shopping with the intention of lying to sales clerks. But I feel lying to sales clerks is, on occasion, necessary either to preserve my dignity, or to merely avoid an awkward conversation about gender politics.

MY LIE, THE FIRST:
I went to Michael’s Craft Supply for craft supplies (as one does). Whilst perusing the glitter selection, I came upon an octopus costume…for dogs.

Naturally, I had to have it.

But while I do have a collection of octopus-related items, I do NOT have a dog.

I approached the checkout counter with my purchases, uneasy for reasons I could not name. One by one the sales clerk rung up my items. Eventually she came upon the octopus costume.

“Oh,” said she. “How cute. I bet your dog will look adorable in this.”

“Uh,” said I, and suddenly I realized why I was uneasy.

“What’s your dog’s name?” she asked.

This is, of course, the point at which I faced a solemn choice: admit to the clerk I did not have a dog at all, and I was purchasing the dog costume simply because I buy all octopus-related paraphernalia in a ten-mile radius on principle, or lie to her, and not be regarded henceforth and forevermore as the Crazy Octopus Lady at my favorite craft supply story.

Naturally, I found myself telling a bald-faced lie. As one does when one would like to maintain a final bastion of non-Crazy-Octopus-Lady-ness somewhere in her life.

“Uh…my dog’s name is Teppic,” I said. This is, in fact, the name of a friend’s dog, and the first dog to pop into my head. “Yeah. Teppic.”

“Oh,” she said. She paused. I hoped, perhaps, a name would sate the clerk’s curiosity. But then she raised her eyes to mine and asked, point blank, “What kind of dog?”

“Uh,” I said. Because the best lies are based in truth and Teppic is a rottweiler mix, I told her with no canny mixing whatsoever, “Um. He’s…he’s a rottweiler mix.”

An ill-fitting lie…which is ironically fitting, considering the costume could *maybe* fit a house-cat, or perhaps a burly Chihuahua, and could definitely not fit a rottweiler of ANY mix conceivable. The clerk looked at the costume, then at me, and then at the costume again, eyebrow rising until it threatened annexation with her hairline.

“A rottweiler?” she said.

“Yes,” I declared. Confidence can make or break a lie, I’m told. I spoke as though the idea that this tiny costume could never hope to fit a rottweiler simply had not occurred to me, and that the suggestion would sound entirely implausible if ever brought to my attention. I said, “Teppic is a rottweiler mix.”

And at that point she rang up my last item and I did not have to concoct a lie about poor Teppic being a puppy, or small for his breed, or something equally outside the realm of my poor stressed brain’s capabilities. I escape with my dignity mostly intact and with an octopus costume meant for a dog in my possession.

I still feeling guilty for lying. This happened weeks ago.

Basically, if any of you need a costume for a (small) dog or a (tolerant) cat, call me. But it’s only a loan. I need this costume for my collection.

Will write the details of MY LIE, THE SECOND, later.

I may have told this one before, but one time an assignment in class had us combine two animals in a drawing. So my genius ass chose a peacock and an octopus and it wasn’t until later that I realized my creation could only be named one of two things: peapus or octocock.

nordictwin  asked:

So I've realized that there's a very important question that hasn't been asked yet, Miss Frog. We all know that your squids (and octopus) will sooner or later move permanently to your non-squid world. But! What about that bum of an urchin artist? What'll happen to her? Is she also going to skip worlds and keep on creepily drawing everyone?

Oh I bet she will follow them somehow. If not seen in the comic… Eeringly still present.

do you ever think about how much attraction and feelings jack and elizabeth have for each other and how important their impact have been in each other’s life

for starters, let’s begin from elizabeth’s point of view. in dead man’s chest, the only thing she keeps saying is how much she wants to find will and save him.
so at the beginning, that’s where the compass points, towards the chest, and jack prepared sailing to this direction. but as the movie went on she starts feeling confused about what she REALLY wants.
jack embodies freedom and piracy for her. and in a way, that’s what she really dreamed of, during her entire life. being free, on a ship, doing whatever she’s eager to and going wherever she wishes to be without receiving orders from anyone, freedom.
there’s also this special connection they have, the flirting. but this teasing thing these two have is so heavy that she never had this with any other character. like, for real, sometimes you literally think they’re going to make up on that boat in front of the whole crew.
so the compass, that shows you what you really want, worked perfectly fine. and it pointed in jack’s directions. two. fucking. time. like at this point it’s more of a confirmation than a revelation.
she desperately wants to fight it, to deny it, but she can’t. the compass has spoken lol. and i’m not a superstitious kind of person but 👀

now let’s analyze jack’s point of view. at the end of dmc, when he realizes he has been trapped by elizabeth on his own ship, he doesn’t even feel hatred, he’s… amazed. amazed by this beautiful ‘sophisticate’ woman who turned out to be a real pirate.
he doesn’t resent her. the man is about to die because that bitch chained him and left him there to be eaten by a giant octopus and he freaking SMILES because he’s proud of her. i mean, for real, that’s one of the most fucked up yet interesting thing i’ve ever seen in a fictional relationship.
there are also so many other examples (that were formerly given in other rants here so i’m not gonna enumerate them) in awe that show how jack feels about her, how he sees her, and that was also very interesting because it showed the complexity of their dynamic.
i’m going to talking about the new movie now because as much as i hate how they handled jack’s character i was pretty happy with the sparrabeth hints that we got.
okay so i know the ‘does mommy ever ask about me’ scene might seems too pervert and inappropriate (it actually was considering he was talking to henry, her son, lmao) but i liked it. and i’m probably biased because i would have given anything to hear jack mentioning elizabeth.
what really disturbed me was how jack made sex jokes about literally any woman he crossed path with, especially carina and the comments he made in that undressing scene on the boat like please… no
but it’s different with elizabeth because he has history with her. and i think a part of him tried to hide his disappointment when henry said 'no’ with (sexual) humor.
and the moment henry tells him who his parents are and jack straight up responds with a look of repugnance on his face 'you’re the evil spawn of these two’ lmaooo you can literally feel the aversion he has for the will/elizabeth relationship.
now let’s talk about the last scene, WHERE HE SEES WILL AND ELIZABETH KISSING AND SAYS 'WHAT A REVOLTING SIGHT’ OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND HE HAS THAT DISGUSTED LOOK ON HIS FACE I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING
like seriously how in the hell is he still jealous AFTER 19 YEARS OF NOT SEEING HER?? it’s just so obvious that he still feels something for her I’m bald

i think how many things in the ocean, how the whole ecology, depends on this category of gunk called plankton. i think how many things eat it. 

i think about insects. their massive disappearance recently. i think about how many things eat them. on land and in the sea. 

i wonder how plankton and insects are the same and different, beyond their relative placements in the sea and atmosphere. 

i believe more and varied creatures contribute to the plankton than to the life of land insects. like all the tiny baby octopus that never make it. how they are important to the sea ecology regardless because they help make up plankton. 

I think about all the tiny spiders on land that hatch and the birds that feed on them. 

I realize that humans contribute nothing to the earth’s air plankton. nothing good. nothing on which anything can feed. 

if we started off as insects. if we had a larval stage. i wonder if we’d have less greed. 

and more to contribute, in terms of the collective. whole.