then i realized

i mean yeah i kind of on the outside have it all together and no you won’t ever hear me talk seriously about my mental illness but it’s because everything is behind about sixteen locked doors, each with a more complicated code  - and yeah. maybe i just want someone to notice. a shoulder to cry on. a voice echoing into the hole. but the fact is that i’m the one who shuts myself off like this. i’m the one who pretends to be perfect. 

but what happens when i lose it.

ok story time

so tonight I (along with a couple of friends I’ve known since high school) met up with several of our friends I haven’t seen since HS at our campus. And one of them happened to be the guy I dated for a year and a half before I decided to break it off during the last couple of months of our senior year cause he’d be going to basic training – and staying out-of-state miles away – for a very long time. I really didn’t like the idea of long-distance relationships, especially ones that are long-term, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it (was I fucking wrong) I regretted breaking it off by the time we graduated and I didn’t have the courage to talk to him again for dumb reasons. So basically I fucked it up by being too scared. And that pretty much ruined my summer cause I was filled with so much regret and we basically stopped talking. Like he was the first guy I dated that I really, really liked (or at least fell in love with) and I knew he had those exact same feelings towards me so it really hit me hard during that summer.

Fast forward to today (almost five years later). I didn’t think I was going to be this surprised because I knew who I was gonna meet beforehand and I knew my feelings towards him were completely gone by the middle of my first semester in college.

It was awkward at first even though there weren’t any hard feelings (since it’s been years and we’ve moved on with our lives), but we immediately hit it off. And rn I’m so conflicted??? Like that whole encounter with him and my old friends made my day, but I’m so confused. I know we’re going to be seeing more of each other cause he moved back here a year ago so my emotions are all over the place atm.

I’m just hoping to see where this goes 

There are rare moments when I’m lining/coloring a drawing and I’m just like “wtf… why do I enjoy this. I want to spend my life doing this???” And I get mad at myself, but then I finish the drawing and look at it again and I’m like, “yeah, I wanna do this.”

  • Oh My God
  • A MESS
Play

Hello! I was tagged by @gotjimin for the accent challenge (thank you annie!) and this was an awkward mess I hate my voice over recording sjdjdnbsdj

tagging: @amerithotkongs @goodluckbyb2st @jeondiary @ojjeon @princedonghyuk @yoohkook & @130727

questions:

• what’s your name and username?
• where are you from?
• what’s the time where you are?
• pronounce the following words: meme, pepe, doge, sudoku, espresso, celtic, acai, dr. seuss
• what’s your favourite pizza place? favourite pizza topping?
• what’s your favourite dessert?
• what’s your favourite food? what food do you hate?
• what’s your favourite tv show? what tv show were you into, but then got out of?
• what brand is your phone?
• do you speak a second language?
• how do you define a group of people when you’re talking to them? do you say ‘guys’ or ‘dudes’ or?
• which harry potter house do you most identify with? if sorted by pottermore, do you agree with the one you got?
• is there something you should be doing right now but are procrastinating?

now that you’ve talked about what you need to be doing, go do it!

I was thinking about Kitt and her description today and I figured this might help picture her better with her prosthetic jaw. 

I based her design off of Pharah’s Raptorion skin but its black in color. It doesn’t go all the way down her neck but it holds the same way on her cheeks and mouth. 

Hope this helps!

5

Hey!!! It’s nearly 11 pm but I realized I hadn’t shown y'all my rats yet, so here’s some pictures from yesterday and today!!! Say hello to my new daughters: Melody, Star, and Tina!!!!!