-I passed a two year-old singing in an angelic voice. She could undoubtedly go professional if only she knew any real words.
-A woman’s card got stuck in her purse, prompting her to bellow, “GET OUT.” I am happy to share that today I met the voice actor from every possession-based horror film in cinematic history.
-A man pressed his phone against the card reader. He became confused when nothing happened. The store not having a mobile pay reader did not seem an acceptable answer for him.
-“Can I get a birthday?” I asked. With a stern tone and an offended face, I was told, “No.” Sure that I misheard, I followed up, “Sorry?” “I said no!” she replied, growing more and more adamant. She wanted to stay out of the store’s systems. I wanted to verify her age for her purchase.
-I made a new friend today. His name is Stanley the Stinkbug. He is a stinkbug. He walked around my screen for about twenty minutes and made for pleasant company. He was very nice, but since he spent his entire stay walking in circles along the same path, he was not quite the brightest bug bulb in the bug bulb bunch.
-Unfortunately, a woman came through my lane with a static-filled robe. Unfortunately, I immediately felt myself get charged up. Unfortunately, I could tell that I would be met with a horrendous shock the next time that I touched metal. Unfortunately, my register is precisely pelvis-high. Unfortunately, the unfortunate happened.
-Children who sing to themselves are amazing, adorable, to be protected, and my best friends.
-At several points throughout the day, the ice machine at the cafe would turn on without a soul in the vicinity. Whether the machine is broken or possessed, it was reassuring to know I could lay down in a pile of ice if the desire so struck me. This is truly my comfort zone.