then he'll realize how perfect we are for each other and yes yes

Sarada's Question (Anti-SS)
  • Sarada: Hi Mom.
  • Sakura: Hey, honey. How was school?
  • Sarada: Same. Bolt is so damn annoying. He spent all day playing pranks and complaining about his dad, saying he's never around or whatever.
  • Sakura: Who?
  • Sarada: His dad. Named Naruto, right?
  • Sakura: ....
  • Sarada: You know him, remember? He used to be your teammate?
  • Sakura: ...
  • Sarada: Married to Hinata? The HOKAGE?
  • Sakura: Oh, the Hokage! Sorry, honey. It's too easy to forget about him.
  • Sarada: He was your best friend for six years.
  • Sakura: Anyway! What's the matter, Sarada?
  • Sarada: Bolt. He's such a dobe. Though I can relate to the father troubles ...
  • Sakura: Oh, honey. Just because your father's busy doesn't mean he doesn't care.
  • Sarada: Suurre. What could be so important he can't even be home?
  • Sakura: He's atoning! An adventurer! See, Sasuke-kun's very deep, you know. You should be proud he's your dad.
  • Sarada: Atoning? More like wandering around pointlessly to avoid us.
  • Sakura: Lies, Sarada! Your father loves us! And I am perfectly okay waiting for a husband who's never home because he's just doing what he has to. He'll come back. Someone needs to do the housework.
  • Sarada: ... How you'd two even fall in love? You're just so ...
  • Sakura: Perfect for each other?
  • Sarada: ... Incompatible.
  • Sakura: Look, Sarada. Your father LOVES me.
  • Sarada: You sure?
  • Sakura: He does, damnit! Don't question our relationship!
  • Sarada: Srsly, how you'd fall in love?
  • Sakura: That's a beautiful story! See, it all started back when we were kids. I was obsessed with Sasuke, but he thought I was so annoying. Then eventually we become friends. And-
  • Sarada: He liked you?
  • Sakura: No, actually. He rejected my heartfelt confession to him, knocked me out, and left the village for revenge to an evil guy named Orochimaru. But I wasn't giving up! We found him again a few years later to bring him back home-"
  • Sarada: And let me guess. He felt bad for what he did?
  • Sakura: Um, no. He tried to kill me and Naruto. A few times actually for about another year or so. Then I went through a Naruto phase and started leaning on him from comfort when Sasuke-kun hated us.
  • Sarada: A Naruto phase?
  • Sakura: IT WAS JUST A PHASE, SARADA! Anyway, eventually after all the pain and hardship, your father saw the errors of his ways.
  • Sarada: Your love redeemed him?
  • Sakura: YES ... no. Actually it was Naruto who saved him. Instead your father stabbed me in the heart in a genjutsu he put me under after rejecting another confession. A few days later he was good.
  • Sarada: So you didn't have involvement bringing him back at all? You loved him that long and he just walked all over you? He didn't FEEL anything for you?
  • Sakura: It's ok, Sarada. I loved him.
  • Sarada: Why?
  • Sakura: Because .... I just love him, okay! Moving on.
  • Sarada: I know he's my dad and all, but this isn't making a lot of sense.
  • Sakura: It's getting there! Anyway, you father was finally good and of course I was all over him. It had been so long since--"
  • Sarada: What about Naruto?
  • Sakura: What?
  • Sarada: You said you went through a phase with him.
  • Sakura: Oh! It was over. Sasuke-kun was back so I forgot about him.
  • Sarada: But he was there for you, you said.
  • Sakura: So? Sasuke-kun was back! I don't like guys nice guys, I realized. They're boring.
  • Sarada: ... This is starting to sound really messed up, Mom.
  • Sakura: Anyway. Sasuke-kun was good now, but he had to leave again. So I waited and waited for him to come back. See, that's what true love is. You keep fighting even when you have nothing.
  • Sarada: ... Does Dad love you now?
  • Sakura: Yes! I finally tracked him down and won him over. And then I had you. And he's never around, but it's okay. We're married and have a kid so that's what matters.
  • Sarada: ... How?
  • Sakura: I just told you how.
  • Sarada: No, you didn't. None of that explains why. I don't get any of it.
  • Sakura: I love him.
  • Sarada: WHY? He was a jerk who didn't care. How'd he change so much? You didn't even help redeem him, Mom! It's just Naruto! This is the worst parent love story I ever heard!
  • Sakura: I love him.
  • Sarada: ..... I'm never falling in love.