then he ran away and i wept for times gone by

First

Summary: A series of firsts for Bucky lead him to fall in love.

Word count: 3604

Warnings: mentions of blood, reader injury

Prompt: Love: a feeling of strong emotion.

Synonyms: fondness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, yearning, infatuation, adoration, devotion

A/N: this is for @sanjariti’s 7k writing challenge, my prompt was the word ‘Love’

All Bucky could think as he walked into that building was that he didn’t belong here, here where all the good in the world was concentrated and where people fought relentlessly for the side he wasn’t on. He was evil. He’d committed more atrocities in half a lifetime than probably anyone in the country, the world even would ever consider doing. He was roused from his thoughts when his best friend Steve placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. ‘Wait until you meet (Y/N)’ he’d said. ‘You’ll love her’. He was doubtful. He wasn’t even sure if he still had a heart and if he had no heart how could he hope to feel anything but fear and hatred? How could he feel love? When he thought about his heart, about whether it was still there or not, he always envisioned a shrivelled lump of charred muscle, beating but only just. Sometimes he didn’t even see this, sometimes it was just a vacuum, a dark void, a pathway to hell. He was forced to look up when Steve introduced her and when he did he was sure he’d died in Siberia. She was an angel, a goddess and for some reason he couldn’t fathom she was smiling at him. When he first saw her he was an empty shell of darkness. When he first touched her, when she bound up to him and embraced him as though she made known him her whole life, the shell began to crack and a single beam of light was projected onto his soul. When she left his arms she took his broken heart with her, holding it in her delicate hands and preparing to nurture it with such a powerful love that it would soon resemble that of a heart belonging to a human.


Bucky had been sat, staring at her empty chair and frowning the first time he’d felt anything close to human emotion. A meeting for the whole team surely included (Y/N) and yet she wasn’t here. The man with the eyepatch started without her, only making him frown more.

She was still in her bedroom, hopping around and hastily trying to tug a sock onto her foot. Cursing repeatedly as she had done since she woke up, checked the time and realised that she had way over slept and would definitely be late for the meeting, she picked up a rogue hair tie and on her way to running to the conference room pulled her hair into a loose ponytail. When she burst in everyone had looked at her, instantly grinning despite her interruption and as she mumbled apologies even the Director Fury had been unable to hide an affectionate smile. Bucky had watched with bated breath as she rushed over to her seat and sat down heavily next to him, huffing as she took out a notebook and a pen and only when he felt her arm pressed against his did he allow himself to exhale. His eyes didn’t leave her as she leant over to him to copy his notes on what she’d missed and could not help but smile with a great fondness for her. It had seemed so natural then that he didn’t register that this had been the first time he’d smiled since he got here.

After this he smiled every time he saw her, powerless against her beautiful grin and bubbly personality and each day his own smile grew ever brighter. It had almost become a knee jerk reaction to seeing her.


The first time he’d not felt like a monster was also because of her. Against his will Steve had made him come down and join the others for a movie night, saying it would help him bond with the team and when he entered the common area he threw himself down on one of the couches and stretched his legs out across the full length of it. When she walked in, cocooned in a blanket his eyes lit up and he grinned. Her eyes met his with the same expression and she shuffled over to him. When he went to move his legs so she could sit down she had shook her head and pulled them silently back to where they were before. ‘Can I lay on top of you Buck?’ she had whispered and the whole room fell silent as if bracing themselves for his answer. He nodded and held his breath, his pulse accelerating as she climbed onto him, resting her head gently on his chest and intertwining her legs with his. When his arms reached around her waist and his hands joined at the bottom of her back she hummed contentedly and a burning warmth exploded inside of him, illuminating even the darkest corners of his soul. He smiled softly as she fell asleep on his chest.


The first time he saw her cry was one of the most painful experiences of his life. The way she had looked up at him, her eyes filled with sorrow as he entered the kitchen to escape from another nightmare made his chest ache and he felt the need to comfort her. When he’d asked her if she was ok it was like he’d ripped down the flood barrier and she wept, her shoulders shaking, her hands tightening around the glass of water she gripped. He instantly went to her and held her close to his body and when he felt the sobbing subside he pulled her away and looked into her watery eyes. ‘What’s wrong?’ he inquired, wanting desperately to help her.

‘It’s back home’ she rasped between shaky breaths. ‘My mom, she’s been in an accident, they don’t know if she’ll make it’. At these words she released a heart wrenching sob and collapsed back into fitful weeping. He simply took her by the hand and led her to her own room, got a bag out and began packing all her essential items while she stood watching, unsure of what he was doing. He handed her the bag and once again took the lead down to the hangar, to Tony Stark’s private jet and told her to get on it, go visit her mother and leave Stark to him. ‘Buck you’re the best’ she’d whispered in his ear as she pulled him in for a hug and he felt a new intimacy with her that made his heart swell and beat harder than it ever had before.


The first time she went on a mission without him felt like he had lost some part of himself that he wasn’t going to get back until she returned. One day. One day she’d been gone and already he missed her gorgeous (Y/E/C) irises, lit up by a wide grin. He missed how she made him feel normal and now that she wasn’t there he began to notice the way the others looked at him, either with pity or disgust, and he hated it. The previous night he’d had the worst nightmares he’d ever experienced. Despite knowing that she was brilliantly trained and could look after herself with ease he tortured himself with mental images of her in danger, her perfect face twisted with fright and pain and he woke, screaming and soaked with sweat.

She’d be gone for a month. A whole month. If this was what it was like after a day he dreaded to think of himself in a month, of how much of a wreck he’d be. To distract himself he took Steve’s advice, to jot down or think of all the things that drew him to her. He’d decided against writing them down, he wouldn’t have enough paper to accurately put into words all the enchanting and unique things he liked about her. She had such a high affinity for love that no one could go near her without gravitating to her, people wanted to be near her and to love her as she loved everything. So many of us struggle with defining this one abstract word and yet if only the whole world were to meet her it would all become clear. She was love personified, a living embodiment of the purest emotion. When he thought about her too much it was like he was being stabbed  repeatedly in the chest so he tried to limit the amount he did.

He knew when he felt that hollow pain constantly present in his chest after a few days that he had developed an unparalleled attachment to her that he didn’t, couldn’t, feel with anyone else.


The first time she’d been injured on a mission hit him like a ton of bricks. He’d been chatting to her through the comms, talking about what movie they were gonna watch together when they got back when her voice was replaced by a sharp gasp and whimpers of choked back tears. ‘Buck’ she whispered. ‘I’ve been hit’. At these four words his blood ran cold. Overcome by a fit of rage he was given a new strength and, knocking out and probably killing several HYDRA agents he made a beeline for where she was all the while trying his hardest to convince her, himself, that she’d be ok. When he saw her body, a crumpled heap in a pool of blood, his heart stopped and he ran to her, crouching at her head and cradling it in his hands. ‘Bucky I’m scared’ she said, almost guiltily and, looking down at the bullet wound in her lower abdomen she winced and looked into his panic stricken eyes.

‘You’ll be alright doll, I promise’ he assured, sliding one arm under the back of her knees, the other under her neck and lifting her gently off of the concrete. ‘I’ll take you back to the jet, Banner will fix you and you’ll be fine’ she looked up at him and offered a small smile which he was unable to reciprocate. When she felt the darkness fast approaching, she let her eyelids droop, not having the energy to fight it. ‘No, (Y/N) you’ve got to keep your eyes open, look at me, dammit!’ he had yelled as he picked up his pace to a flat out sprint to get to the jet. She tried to keep her eyes open with all her might but soon it became too much and she gave it, letting her eyelids fall. The last thing she heard was Bucky screaming ‘No!’ at the top of his lungs.

‘She’ll be ok Sergeant Barnes, she’ll wake up any day now’ Bruce reassured him but his eyes never left her next to lifeless body on the hospital bed, the only thing he could hear being the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor. While she was out his subconscious had found a new way to make him suffer, filling his sleepless nights with the replaying scene of him looking into her fear filled eyes from a sea of her own blood.

Despite his knowledge that she’d be back soon, he felt a yearning for her gentle smile, her bright eyes and her radiant glow all of which seemed to have been extinguished as she lay there completely helpless.


The first time he’d felt needed was just after she’d recovered. Of course she couldn’t go on the next mission but the rest of the team, apart from Bucky, had had to leave for it. When she felt she could stand he’d been at her bedside, one arm firmly around her waist, and she’d leant on him, putting her entire weight on his side. She’d thrown her arm over his shoulders and was gripping his flesh one tightly, refusing to let go as he’d acted as her crutch, getting her safely to the common area where she could sit down and rest. He lowered her with great care onto one of the plush couches and looked worriedly into her eyes to see if she was comfortable. ‘I’m fine Buck, relax’ she’d said lightly, giggling at him when his face softened.

'I got you this’ he’d said in a gruff voice, obviously embarrassed as he handed her a box and sat down next to her. When she lifted the lid his eyes never left her face as he gauged her reaction to his gift and her eyes widened as she dropped the lid to the floor. 'What’s wrong? Don’t you like it!?’ he asked, panicked by her silence.

'Bucky I love it’ she’d whispered as she rifled through the contents of the box, several of her favourite DVD’s, box after box of chocolates, her favourite perfume. It was easily the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given her. 'How’d you remember I loved all this stuff?’ she asked in disbelief, looking back into his eyes.

'How could I forget?’ he replied with such intensity that she’d flushed and looked away. 'Anyway I figured you’d be bored sitting here until you’re better on your own’ he said.

'I won’t be on my own, I have you Bucky’ she smiled at him before reaching into the box and pulling out one of the many boxes of chocolates and, taking the lid off, she offered one to him which he took without complaint. From then on she not only captured his attention when she was in the room, not only did his eyes follow her wherever she went but his thoughts too now never left her. Because of this infatuation he was unable to think of anything but her, to do anything for anyone but her. She was his priority and the importance of everything else fell away.


The first time he’d felt the full strength of his heart had arrived when he’d least expected it. The team were all up early so they could catch a flight to a democratic mission and were not at all awake yet. Most were up, still in their pyjamas but up nonetheless. Clint and Natasha were huddled together with bowls of cereal in their laps and there was a queue to get to the coffee grinder. (Y/N) was propped up against the counter, staring past the mug of coffee in her hands, her eyes blank as sleep still cast a shroud of fog over her mind. Bucky had just woken up, later than the others as he’d gotten less sleep than them what with his regular nightmares. Shuffling through the doors, the team ignored him, still far too tired to be prepared to exert any effort in acknowledging him. He didn’t care that no one saw him, his eyes moved immediately to the one person who he held any interest for. She had a blanket draped around her hunched shoulders and her hair was piled up on top of her head in a messy bun, strands coming loose and falling onto her face.

As he watched her, slouched over a mug of coffee his eyes were filled with a look of immense adoration and his chest heaved with emotion as her heavy eyelids lifted to gift him with the perfect smile. Despite his little sleep he couldn’t possibly suppress the warm grin that lit up his face in response.


The first time he’d kissed her had been an experience like no other. She was sick and had been in bed all day, keeping her door locked and insisting that no one come in to see her saying she didn’t want to infect everyone else. Bucky had of course protested earnestly against this but her stubborn nature meant he was never going to get anywhere with her. He stood in front of his mirror, trying to ignore the guilty twang in his heart as he adjusted his tie in preparation for one of Tony’s parties. He wasn’t sure how he was going to survive the whole thing without her by his side but he pushed these thoughts aside when FRIDAY announced that the party was in full swing. Upon his entrance several women, obviously already intoxicated, approached him and, as he made his way to the bar to meet Steve, he shrugged them off. Politely declining when each asked him to dance he was relieved when he saw Steve, drink in hand and chatting flirtatiously to Sharon. As much as he tried he couldn’t take his mind off of (Y/N), still laying in bed without company so as soon as he got to the bar he excused himself. 'Sorry Steve, I’ve got to go’ he’d said and when he asked him why he replied simply, 'I need to see (Y/N)’. Steve understood immediately, fully aware of his best friends feelings for her and nodded at him. He had felt wrong being at that party without her and, pushing through all the women in little clothing throwing themselves at him, he made his way to see her, his devotion for her overpowering all else. He arrived at her door and knocked softly, entering before she could reply, knowing full well she’d have FRIDAY lock the door if he waited.

'Buck get out, you’ll get sick’ he heard her voice before he saw her and he smiled to himself at how she knew it was him even before he’d spoken. He smiled even wider when he saw her face peeking out from the covers of her bed, the tip of her nose pink and her cheeks flushed. 'Don’t smile at me like that, I’m not joking’ she said, her blocked nose making her voice sound nasally. He came and sat on the side of her bed, aiding her as she struggled to sit. 'Buck I swear to god-’

’(Y/N) I like you. Like I really, really like you’ he cut her off. After this he paused and she interjected again, complaining that in such close proximity he was bound to get sick. 'I’m a super soldier, I’ll be fine. Anyway (Y/N) I think you’re so beautiful and kind and funny and sweet. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met’ he said all this in a rush and before she had chance to reply, he leant forwards and captured her luscious lips in his own. He regretted this immediately and was about to pull away when he felt her kiss back, feeling one of her hands find its way to his hair and, using the other hand to prop herself up she couldn’t find it in herself to break away as she knew she probably should. When she finally did she was breathless, staring deeply into his darkened eyes.

'I like you too Bucky’ she whispered. 'But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m ill’.

'Doll I think if there was any chance that I’d get what you’ve got, I’ll have caught it by now’ he said, smirking. 'Besides I couldn’t stay at that party without you’. He couldn’t believe that someone like her could even entertain the notion of liking him back and yet she did. It was like all his dreams had come true and he couldn’t possibly contain the grin that made his cheeks ache.


The first time he’d said he loved her was his new most terrifying experience of his life. Calming his nerves by regulating his breathing and squeezing his eyes shut he anticipated her return with great fear. He was waiting in the hangar for her return from a mission and was planning on telling her the moment she got off. When she saw him she’d sprinted off of the jet and ran straight into his arms, jumping up and wrapped her legs around his waist. They’d been dating now for just two months but he’d never been more sure as to how he’d felt about her. 'I love you (Y/N)’ he whispered, so quietly that he worried that she didn’t hear when she didn’t reply. She took a deep breath.

'I love you too Bucky’ she said in the same hushed tone and he laughed in disbelief, holding her closer to his body and burying his face in her hair. 


'I love you, I love you, I love you’ she chanted, with each repetition planting a kiss on his face. She beamed at him as he slid the beautiful ring in her finger and he looked into her eyes before sweeping her off of her feet and pressing a passionate kiss to her puckered lips.

'I love you more, doll’ he growled against her lips as she grinned delightedly. 


His eyes widened and tears pooled in his eyes as he watched her walk up the aisle, her flowing white dress illuminating her already bright features. 'I love you, beautiful’ he whispered as she met him at the alter.

'I love you Buck’ she’d replied, taking both his hands in hers as they turned to look at the minister.

When he stood with her then at the end of the aisle it all became clear. Love is defined as a strong feeling of affection but to him it was so much more. He felt for her a fondness and warmth he could not even hope to replicate, an intimacy he had with no other, an attachment to her that meant even an hour without her had him yearning for her soft touch, an infatuation that meant he gazed at her like she had hung the moon, an adoration with which everything she did pulled on his heart and made him fall for her that little bit more and a devotion so strong that he rarely even talked to another woman, unless of cause for a mission, as his heart belonged entirely to her.

Keep reading

I’ll Be There

Steve x Reader

Shout out to the wonderful, amazing and so, so patient @frickin-bats who has had to wait months and months and months for this request and never once complained about having to do so. I am so very sorry you had such a long wait darling all I can do is apologise and hope that this makes up for the wait you had to put in to finally see it- So much love Lana xx

Request: Hi! I saw you were taking request and I was wondering if you could please write one where Steve and a heavily pregnant reader are both avengers and one day Steve gets seriously hurt on a mission and the stress causes the reader to go into labor so the team is there for her? Lot of fluff/angst and maybe a happy ending? Thanks soooo much! 😊

Warnings: A hard labour, that results in reader being under severe stress and needing surgery.

Words: c, 2,100


Steve was rushing around the room packing the last few items in his mission bag and you followed him slowly, hand on your bump, trying to make him slow down.

“Please Steve I’m begging you, sit this one out!”

“Y/n, you know I can’t,” he sighed repeating himself for over the hundredth time, “It has to be me that goes. Besides, Bucky is going to be right here with you and I’ll be home before you even know it.”

A knock on the door signified that Bucky had arrived and when you opened the door, you smiled widely noting that he brought with him all the treats you loved to eat.

Whereas Steve preferred to eat a healthy diet, Bucky was your junkfood friend and his sweet tooth had been one of the things you had first bonded over. You had introduced him to so many sweet things and it had sort of become ‘your thing’ to and try out new treats and desserts with Bucky.

Even if they weren’t new for you, even if you’d eaten them a thousand times you would go with him because it made him excited and back in the early days you would have went to the moon with him if it made him happy.

He placed his collection of treats on the coffee table and came over to stand beside you where you were watching Steve pack his things.

“How is nugget today?” he asked reaching out to rub at your swollen stomach, and smiling when he felt a kick, “She knows her favourite uncle is here,” he smiled and Steve was smart because calling Bucky and having him here was already doing wonders for your nerves. Even if you still wished that Steve didn’t have to go do the Captain-America thing tonight.

“I’ll call you when I’m on the way home,” he told you kissing you on the forehead, and you pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Look after my girls,” Steve told Bucky in mock warning and Bucky patted him on the back, he didn’t need to be asked, he would lay down his life for you and Steve knew it, as they hugged quickly Nat appeared at the door and Steve was on his way.


You were halfway through the Prisoner of Azkaban, you and Bucky had decided to have a Harry Potter marathon, when Bucky’s phone rang and you paused the movie for him to answer.

His eyes went wide and he rose from the couch.

“How serious?” he asked in a hushed tone, trying not to panic you, but he knew it was too late as the panic appeared on your face, and he knew he couldn’t mask the terror on his own.

Steve was hurt, and badly and now he was asking to speak to you ‘just in case’ as he’d put it, before he passed you the phone he asked you to try and keep calm, and you nodded as you pressed your ear to the phone.

“Y/n?” it was Steve his breathing was coming out ragged and your heart stopped in your chest.

“Y/n I’ve been injured, back up is on the way and I’m going to be fine,” he paused as he took another ragged breath “I’m not leaving you and our child, I made you a promise and I fully intend to keep it, but sometimes my promises don’t work out quite the way I wanted them to so let me tell you, you are the love of my life, I never thought I could love anyone the way I love you, and you are going to be a fantastic mother to our little girl.”

You were openly crying now and he tried to shush you, “Hold on for us Steve please, we need you. I can’t do this on my own.”

“Listen to me, I’ll come back to you. To both of you. I’ll be there!”

“I love you,” you told him honestly and listened to him repeat the words back to you, as the line went dead you shot up from the couch and Bucky pulled you to him as you sobbed your heart out not even able to formulate a sentence.

Bucky fetched you a glass of water as you were beginning to hyperventilate and you downed it gratefully.

“Listen to me,” he said getting on his hunkers and brushing his fingers through your hair, “I know Steve, better than I ever knew anybody else and he’s strong and stubborn but more than anything he loves you and there’s no way in hell he’s going to leave you. Do you hear me?”

You nodded and placed a hand over your bump, trying to will yourself to calm down, Bucky rose and took his phone out to make a call, trying to find out any information he could.


You could hear Bucky pacing back and forth outside the hall and you tried to focus on the sounds of his steps, tried to focus your energy on breathing quick shallow breaths. A huge cramp took you over and you cried out in pain, attempting to stand up to ease the pain and feeling horrified when you noticed your waters had broken.

“Not now. Please not now,” you cried out, clutching your stomach and silently willing your little girl to stay put!

You called out for Bucky and he stuck his head around the door worriedly and damn near dropped his phone when he saw the situation in front of him.


“Bucky, I’m not ready. I’m not ready!”

“Shh,” he tried to sooth you as he ran into the room to fetch your delivery bag, and gently guide you out the door.

He buckled you into the car and drove like a madman to the hospital, calling Tony and freaking out over the phone with him, and having Tony try his best to sooth Bucky would have made you smile on a good day, but you were in a mixed state of shock and pain right now and the only voice you wanted to hear was Steve’s telling you that everything was going to be alright.

You called his phone only for it to ring out and his voicemail played. You called it another four times just to hear his voice.

You barely registered the tears falling down your cheek as Bucky led you inside the hospital and you watched the bright lights flashing overhead as you were wheeled down to the delivery room.

Bucky stayed by your side, holding your hand through each painful round of contractions and soon Tony arrived, promising to do everything he could to bring Steve and Nat home.

Machines beeping caused you to lock eyes with Bucky, and soon doctors were flooding into your room, you called out to him, repeating his name as they began to wheel you to surgery, his panicked expression and him struggling against doctors trying to hold him back  the last thing you saw before you rounded the corner.


The feeling of someone stroking your hair gently pulled you from the depths of slumber, and you opened your eyes. Once. Twice. Three times before they would stay open and Bucky’s blue eyes were the first thing you saw.

“Where is she?” you cried weakly and he smiled gently with tears in his eyes.

“She’s right here, she’s beautiful y/n. She looks just like her mommy.”

You sighed in relief as tears sprung to your eyes and you attempted to sit up, Bucky sprang into action, helping you up and placing your daughter in your arms.

“She’s so beautiful,” you cried kissing her forehead and stroking her tiny hands.

Bucky kissed your forehead, “You scared the hell out of me, I thought I had lost you too.”

Too?

“Steve?” you cried out again, the heart machine beeping with the increase of your heartbeat.

“No word yet,” Bucky said sadly, “Tony is gone to their last point of coordination, he promised to let me know as soon as he knew anything.”

You cradled your little girl to you as your door opened and you looked up to see the concerned faces of all your team as they flooded around your bed.

Wanda climbed carefully onto the bed beside you and cooed over your little girl while Sam pulled Bucky into a long hug that spoke volumes, you watched the slump of Bucky’s shoulders and you couldn’t imagine what the last few hours had been like for him.

Scott and Clint, took it in turns of suggesting names that she looked like when it was their turn to hold her and you couldn’t help but smile when both of them agreed on Peach.

“We are not calling our daughter Peach,” a tired and exhausted voice interrupted from the doorway and you almost ripped the needles out of your arms to get to him.

“Careful y/n. Careful,” Wanda urged as he finally came into view. Battered, bruised and broken, but alive.  

You were crying before he even made it into your arms and he was crying too, you sensed the emptying of your room as your team retreated into the hall to give you guys a moment.

You couldn’t even coherently communicate sentences but you knew exactly what the other meant, and when he kissed you it was like everything was right in the world again. You had been utterly lost without him, but now you felt settled again.

When he finally pulled away, Bucky stepped forward with your little girl and placed her gently into Steve’s arms and Steve actively wept holding the tiny bundle in his arms.

Bucky gently went to leave the room, before you called out his name.

“Don’t go,” you asked but it sounded more like pleading.

“This is a family moment,” he answered gently.

“You are family Buck,” you insisted and urged him to come back over, which he did shyly and with an expression you couldn’t quite read.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you today,” you told him honestly.

“You’re my family too,” he confessed quietly and Steve sniffed loudly, this moment being momentous to him.

“God, we hadn’t even settled on a name,” Steve chuckled as his little girl wrapped her hands around his finger.

You smiled up at him and it was almost like he could read your mind.

“Why don’t we ask her godfather for some suggestions?” you smiled at Steve and he smiled at Bucky.

“Me?” he shrieked “I couldn’t possibly!”

Both you and Steve fixed him with the same stare and he smiled gently.

“Ella?” he suggested shyly.

Steve moved towards you and ducked down so you could both look at her.

“What do you think mama? Does she look like an Ella to you?”

You nodded through tears as you stroked her tiny pink cheek and Steve kissed you on the forehead.

“Hello baby Ella,” he cooed and you pulled her tiny hand to your mouth to press a gentle kiss to it.

Bucky shifted on the end of your bed and you regarded him as he wiped gently at the corners of his eyes, and then the moment was interrupted by Nat storming into the room to pull you into the firmest hug you had ever been in in your life and you couldn’t help but laugh as she almost swiped Ella from Steve.

“Hi baby,” she whispered pressing a kiss to her tiny face and climbing onto the bed beside you.

“Don’t ever scare your aunty Nat like that again,” she whispered to your tiny little girl.

“You mean godmother,” Steve corrected and she whipped her head up to look between both of you.

“As if there was any other option,” you joked “You are the best godmother she could ever have.”

She smiled genuinely, and turned her attention back to Ella, “You are forbidden to date until you are at least 25,” she warned and you laughed loudly, causing everyone to look at you.

“With Steve as her father, and you and Bucky as godparents the poor girl is not going to be able to date anybody.”

“Ah you’re forgetting something,” Tony’s voice interrupted as your team mates began to pour back into the room. “There is a whole line of us that guys have to get through before they even make it to the Bucky and Nat stage.”

You smiled back up at him and couldn’t help but be excited for what the future meant for you and your over-sized dysfunctional family.

You reached out for Steve’s hand and smiled when he clasped yours in his much larger one, eternally grateful that he kept his promise to you. He was here and that was all that mattered. 


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Perfect

Originally posted by harrystolemyheart

i randomly got inspired to write this, and i’m pretty proud of how it turned out
i hope you enjoy x


Perfect.

That’s the word everyone used to describe Harry and I’s relationship. And, to be honest, I agreed. Ever since we met, Harry and I just clicked, and we were always by each other’s side. We were inseparable after being friends for three weeks. And then a few years went by, and we had grown up together. And the feelings we had towards one another started showing, no matter how hard we tried to hold them in. Then, one night, Harry and I were walking around after having dinner with some friends, and rain started pouring down from the sky. Soaked, we got in Harry’s car and went back to his place. I showered and he gave me a change of clothes, him showering and changing after I had. We ate our leftovers and watched movies, not realizing how late it was because time had gotten away from us, as it did often when we hung out.

“Is it really almost four in the morning?” Harry looked at his phone screen in surprise.

My eyes got wide. “Holy shit, where did the time go?”

“I know, right?” He chuckled. “I swore it felt like it was maybe one or one thirty.”

I sighed, realizing I had my head on Harry’s shoulder, his arm around me. Had we been like this the entire time? I looked up at him and he was already looking at me, a smile on his face.

“What'cha smiling at?” I sing-songed.

He laughed. “You.”

I laughed lightly. “Why?”

He hesitated, then exhaled. “Would you think I was mad if I told you I was in love with you?”

I looked at him in shock, a smile appearing on my face. “No, because I’m in love with you too.”

He grinned, then leaned in and kissed me. Do you know what the only word that could describe that moment was? Perfect.

Two and a half years later, we were a few months away from celebrating our third anniversary, and Harry was acting strange. I didn’t know why, and it concerned me. Selena came over and I vented to her, crying and worrying that Harry was going to leave me or something. She consoled me, saying that Harry would never break my heart. That he loved me way too much to ever leave me. And after she left, Harry. came home. I was in our room, so I walked out to the living room, anxious to ask him why he wasn’t acting like himself. But when I got to the living room, I saw Harry crouched on the floor, his back to me.

“Hey, babe?” I said nervously.

He turned around, smiling as he held a golden retriever puppy with a bow on its light blue collar.

“Yes, love?” He grinned.

I gasped, walking over to him and petting the dog. “Harry, you did not,”

“Yes, I did,” He nodded. “You’ve always said you wanted a puppy, so I decided to get you one.”

I smiled, tearing up. “You’re the sweetest, you know that?”

“I like to think so,” He chuckled. “What do you want to name him?”

I thought for a moment. “Hm… how about Rain? But like, maybe with an e on the end?”

“Why Raine?” He asked.

“Because, if it didn’t rain that one night, I would’ve just went home instead of coming here. And you probably wouldn’t have told me how you felt about me until much later.” I explained. “I guess you could say we wouldn’t have gotten together so soon if it wasn’t for the rain.

He beamed. “Ah, I guess you’re right. Raine is the perfect name for this little guy.”

  
After that moment, things continued to be how they always were. Everyone swore that by the time our anniversary came that Harry would propose to me. And though I’d laugh it off, I wanted that more than anything. I wanted our perfect relationship to become a perfect marriage. And I thought Harry did too.

But, when we had but only a month and a half left until we’d celebrate being together for three years, Harry started acting weird again. Instead of acknowledging the uneasy feeling I had, I just chalked it up to everyone’s suspicions being true. That he was going to propose. One night, Niall and Harry suggested that Selena and I have a girls’ day, and we’d get dinner together that night. Though we were suspicious, we went along with it. Many times throughout the day, Selena swore that when we came home that Niall would have some kind of excuse for her and him to leave, and Harry would propose to me. And, again, I really hoped that was the case. Then, when we still had a couple hours until we’d be on our way back, Niall called Selena. He said that there was a change of plans, that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that he would be at home waiting for Selena. So we left fifteen minutes after the call, Selena going home to Niall and me going home to Harry. At least, that’s what I thought. I came home to an empty house, Raine greeting me when I came in. I pet him, then looked around the house to see if Harry was really gone, and if he had left a note. But he was no where to be found, and he didn’t leave a note. I called him many times, him ignoring every single one. I texted him, saying that it was so unlike him to be this way and we needed to talk as soon as possible. I checked every five minutes to see if he had read it, but he didn’t read it at all.

  
Harry didn’t come home that night.

  
The next morning, I woke up to tons of notifications. Before I could even go through them, Selena called me.

“Hello?” I answered.

“(Y/n), have you seen or heard anything?” Selena asked me.

“No?” I said, confused. “I literally just woke up.”

She sighed. “I guess I’ll be the bearer of bad news. There are pictures everywhere of Harry leaving The Nice Guy with Nikita.”

I felt like my heart had stopped. Harry wasn’t home last night because he was with his ex. And he didn’t come home, which meant he stayed with her. I almost got sick at the thought of what probably happened. Tears flowed from my eyes as I sobbed, the hardest I’d cried in the longest time.

“How did this happen?” I wept.

“I don’t know, babe,” Selena said sadly. “But I think the best thing for you to do is to just come stay with Niall and I for a while. You know, so you can get some space and think about things.”

I nodded, though I knew she couldn’t see me. “You’re right, I’ll pack some stuff and come over there.”

“Alright,” She sighed again. “Drive safe, love you.”

“Thanks, love you too.” I said quietly.

I got up, brushing my teeth and getting ready. I finished packing, and before I could get my things and go, I heard the front door open and close. Raine, who was laying on the bed next to my bags, ran to see who it was. I already knew who it was, and anger boiled within me. I walked out there, seeing a very tired and sad looking Harry. I crossed my arms, glaring at him.

He looked up at me, petting Raine. “What’s going on?”

“You know damn well what’s going on.” I said, growing more furious by the second. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

He stood there, realizing I knew what he had done. He didn’t speak.

I laughed sarcastically. “Of course you don’t. So, you go from promising dinner to our friends and I, to not coming home last night? What the hell is wrong with you?!”

He looked down, still not speaking, so I continued.

“Not only did you not come home, you went out with your ex and then went home with her! When you had your fucking girlfriend at home waiting for you! What kind of twisted fuck does that?!”

After an agonizing silence, he spoke up. “I’m so sorry, love. I–”

“Don’t,” I spat. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

He looked me in the eye for the first time during our conversation. “What are you saying?”

“Do you expect me to stay with you after what you did?” I scoffed. “Harry, everyone knows about what happened, it’s all over social media and it’s on tv. Everyone knows you’re a cheating prick. Why the hell should I stay with you?!”

He looked away again, shrugging. “I guess I don’t expect you to.”

It got quiet once again, and I decided to ask something I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to.

“Why’d you do it? Why would you do this to me? To us? We were perfect, Harry.”

He hesitated. “I-I don’t know, (y/n).”

I stared at him in disbelief. “You don’t know? You cheated on me, throwing almost three years down the drain, and you don’t know why you did it?!”

He didn’t say anything.

“Wow,” I laughed sadly. “Well, Raine and I are leaving. We’ll talk when you figure out what your reason for fucking our relationship up is.”

  

  
It had been a week since I left Harry. Niall and Selena were nice enough to allow Raine and I to stay with them until I finalized everything with the real estate agent that was helping me find a new place. Of course, like everything else, the media was talking about it. How ‘award winning singer-songwriter (y/f/n) (y/l/n) left her boyfriend of three years and former One Direction member Harry Styles, and is getting her own place after he cheated on her’. The thing was, we didn’t even make it to three years. We were two months away, eight weeks from another anniversary. And just like that, it was ruined.

At first, I wondered if it was something I did. But then came to the realization that I had been the best girlfriend I could’ve possibly been to Harry. I gave him my all, my everything. I didn’t do anything to deserve what he did. So, that meant it was him. I wasn’t sure what, but he did what he did because of something that was going on with him. And that gave me a small bit of relief. My heart was still in a million different pieces, but it helped knowing I did absolutely nothing wrong.

Selena, Raine, and I sat in the living room, when the door opened and shut. Niall came into the room and he had Louis with him.

Niall sat next to Selena, and Louis next to him. Raine perked up when he saw them, his tail wagging. He was such a lovable dog, and it wasn’t as little as he used to be. When he sat, he came to a little above my knee, and it seemed like he grew more and more everyday. He got down from his spot next to me on the couch and sat between Louis and Niall, both of them petting him and grinning.


Niall sighed, his smiling falling. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, (y/n), but Harry’s a wreck. He refuses to do anything, and he just cries and cries…”

“Poor lad needs someone to all but force him to drink some water,” Louis snowballed, still petting Raine.

Selena chuckled. “He should be upset. Do you remember how she cried herself to sleep up until the night before last? How I had to make sure she drank and ate something. He should be devastated, he brought this on himself. And honestly, I don’t feel bad for him. And you feel the exact same way, right, (y/n)?”

I went to answer her, but I couldn’t. I should be glad Harry wasn’t happy right now. But I wasn’t. I felt guilty, though I knew that I shouldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to feel okay with this, and all I could think about is how I needed to go see him.

  

 
The next day, I showed up at the place that Harry and I shared just a week ago. I knocked on the door, then waited. Eventually it opened, a very surprised Harry appearing on the other side of it.

“W-What are you doing here,” He stammered, his voice raspy. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red, his cheeks tear stained. He looked like a mess.

“Can we talk?” I exhaled.

He hesitated, then opened the door, allowing me in.

We sat in the living room on separate couches. Silence filled the room, and I swore I’d probably be able to hear a pin drop.

After a while, Harry exhaled. “For a while, I’ve had this… feeling. And, I couldn’t quite place it at first. But eventually, I realized what it was. I realized… I didn’t deserve you. As much as I tried to just push it away, I couldn’t. And it got really bad, so I did something stupid. I tried to drink it away. I drank so much, and the next thing I knew I woke up next to Nikita. I swear to you, (y/n), it wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I never thought I’d ever hurt you.”

I exhaled, letting go of the breath I was holding in. “I felt like I didn’t deserve you, but I never went as far as drinking it away or cheating on you. Instead, I realized how blessed I was to call you mine, and I appreciated every single second I got with you.”

"And that’s exactly why I don’t deserve you.” Harry stared at his hands.

I scoffed. “Don’t you get it? All I’ve ever wanted was you! When I met you, I knew you’d be the man I would marry and have kids with. And now, even though we’re not together and that won’t happen, I still can’t see myself with anyone else.”

“You shouldn’t settle for me, (y/n).” He shook his head. “There’s someone much better for you out there.”

“That may be the case, but I’ll never love someone like I love you. I’ll love you forever.”

He got quiet. “I don’t know what to say…”

I scoffed again. “So you’re not going to fight for me?! You’re just going to let me go? …Pfft, you really must not love me as much as you say you do.”

“I do love you, (y/n).” He enunciated, seeing almost frustrated. “I love you with my whole damn heart… with every fiber of my being, that’s why i can’t let you try to get stuck with me. Move on, and find someone better, you deserve at least that. And I deserve the ability to say that I lost you when I swore to myself I’d never let that happen. I deserve to be humiliated, regretful, and remorseful.”

The room was silent once more. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t say anything.

“Now, go.” He said gently. “Go, be happy and take care of Raine. I want to be able to go on social media or turn on the television and see you smiling and being happy like you used to be. Before I fucked everything up.”

I sighed. “I’ll always love you, Harry.”

He smiled. “And I, you, (y/n). Always.”

if you have ideas for imagines feel free to request them, requests are always open x

Promises

Pairing: Park Jimin / Reader

Genre: Expecting parents AU, Fluff + Slight angst

Rating: PG-15

Warnings: Implied sex

Summary: First times are meaningless without promises to bind them.

Count: 1342 words.

Note: Based on this request. I don’t know if this really counts as expecting parents, but I hope you enjoy it @baekfast-club !

Promises

i.

When they first fell in love, it was on a warm summer day. She sat on the hood of his car, appareled in shorts and a light blue tank top which complimented her curves. Jimin had watched as perspiration glossed her skin, noticeable droplets trailing down her neck and met in the slight dip that was her collarbones. She gazed off into the distance and rested her chin on an elevated knee, scraped and bruised. He had wanted to inquire if she had gotten in another fight, but there was an intentional conversation about the philosophy of love instead.

Keep reading

All That Matters

A/N: Okay all my works have been angst (with the exception of crack fics), so I feel the need to write some cute ass fluffy shit so I can prove to everyone that my heart isn’t a black chasm of nothing. 

Description: Everything begins to fall apart for Spencer and Y/N’s wedding day and they calm each other down.

Originally posted by sweetg


“It’s all ruined! Ruined I say!” Penelope screamed running into the room.

“What – what happened?!” you panicked.

“The flower arrangements got shipped to the wrong address, the minister is stuck in traffic, and Spencer’s pants!” she exclaimed breathlessly.

“Spencer’s pants?” JJ, your maid of honor, asked.

“He decided to go take a little walk outside –

“In the rain?” Emily cut her off.

“Yes…. And anyway, he tripped over some rocks and now his pants are all wet and muddy,” she explained.

Oh my God, oh my god. You were freaking out. You had been planning this day for two whole years and it had already gone to shit.

“No, no, no,” you paced back and forth.

JJ got up to comfort you, and Penelope started to pour a drink into a glass.

“Y/N, listen it’s okay. We’ll run to the store, get Spencer some pants. The minister is on his way and that’s what’s important,” she said softly as she rubbed your back.

“And the flowers?” you demanded.

“I don’t know……” JJ mumbled.

“WELL HOW AM I GONNA HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT FLOWERS, JJ?” you screamed.

JJ jumped up, startled. Emily stared at you wide eyed. And Penelope started approaching you glass in hand.

“Sweetie here, this will calm you down,” she said, holding a glass of red wine in her hand.

“Penny, you’re a lifesaver,” you grabbed the drink from her hand. “Maybe all I need is a little alcohol to unwin-

SHIT! Midsentence your hand slipped, and you’d accidentally poured the drink all over the top half of your dress. The red sunk in between the lace embroidery, and bled into your strapless bra. All that could go wrong had went wrong. You sat yourself down on the white ottoman and wept.

“Y/N, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” Penelope mumbled. She reached for some tissues on the table and began to clean you up.

“Stop….” You muttered. She didn’t hear you. “Oh my fucking god, Penny, stop!” you yelled.

She looked up at you, tears stung at her eyes, “I’m sorry, I was just trying to help,” she sniffed.

“I know, honey. It’s not your fault,” you sighed. “This day just sucks,” you crossed your arms.

Emily walked over to you and touched her hand to your shoulder. “Look, I know everything isn’t going how you thought it would, but think about what matters,” she consoled. “You love Spencer, and he loves you. And one day you guys are going to look back at this day and laugh.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Will you guys excuse me for a moment?” you asked, as you began to leave the room.

JJ ran over to the door and blocked it, Penelope followed. “No, no you are not going to get cold feet right now!” JJ scolded.

“We aren’t going to let you hurt Spencer like this!” Penelope added.

“Guys, relax. I’m just going to talk to Spence,” you explained.

JJ and Penelope exchanged a look and nodded. They believed you.

“Very well,” JJ hesitated, walking away from the door.

“And Y/N,” Penelope pointed straight at you. “Don’t you dare let him see you,” she warned.

You sighed, she was always one for being superstitious. But you nodded nonetheless for the sake of appeasing her. You opened the door and made your way down a bright hallway. It was honestly beautiful, unlike the deranged bridezilla walking down it. The glimpse you got of yourself in the side mirror was horrendous. All the crying you did reduced you to a panda, your dress looked was stained, and your hair was disheveled from your constant pulling of it.

When you finally made it to Spencer’s dressing room, you extended your arm to knock on it. Before you had the chance, however, Derek stopped you.

“Woah there, Pretty Girl, what do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

“Derek, I just wanna talk to him,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m freaking out, and Spencer is the only thing that will calm me down right now.”

He paused. “Okay fine, just don’t let him see you.”

“You too?” you groaned.

“Pardon?”

“Did Penny make you all superstitious too?”

“Hey, Y/N, it isn’t about superstition, it’s just a wedding tradition,” he defended. “But go ahead and talk to your Pretty Boy, I think he could actually use you too right now.”

“Thanks, Derek,” you smiled.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” he said, walking out of the hallway.

You waited until Derek was out of the clear before knocking on the door.

“Spence, you there?”

“I think so,” he whimpered.

“How are you doing?” you asked.

“Pretty bad, how about you?”

“I’m not so good either,” you replied. You crouched down so you were now sitting on the ground and hugging your knees. “I thought everything was going to be so perfect you know?”

“Yeah, me too. I ruined my pants,” he commented.

“I heard….but it’s okay. I ruined my dress, so we’re both a mess,” you chuckled slightly.

You heard him laugh as well. “Hey, Y/N, I know neither of us are the superstitious, so do you maybe want to go outside and talk to each other? Away from all this.”

“I’d love that,” you smiled. “I’ll go out the backdoor you can…..

“Window, I’ll go out the window.” He offered.

“Okay, just make sure not to fall down again,” you joked.  

“Damn you, Mrs. Reid,” he retorted.

You laughed again and headed for the backdoor. You looked around every now and then to make sure no one saw you. When you reached the door, you scanned the hallway one last time. No one. Delightful. You opened the door and immediately were greeted by heavy downpour. You squinted slightly to look for Reid. The visibility was so bad you couldn’t see anything within ten feet.

“Y/N, over here!” Spencer called out.

You turned your head around, and saw your soon-to-be husband sitting on a long white bench. You pulled up your dress so you didn’t trip on the steps and walked over.

“You look stunning,” he complimented, standing in front of him now.

“Yeah right,” you scoffed, sitting yourself down. “I look awful.”

“Y/N, you want to talk about awful? Just look at this,” he pointed to his extremely dirty pants.

“We can both be messes together,” you giggled.

“You’re my mess though,” he kissed the top of your head.

You rested your head onto his shoulder and sighed. “I lied to Penny and said I wouldn’t go see you.”

“She would freak if she knew we were here,” Spencer commented.

“Yeah, she would probably be showering us with four leaf clovers, horse shoes, and rabbit feet,” you laughed. “Why are rabbit feet considered lucky anyway? Seems weird as hell.”

Spencer wagged his finger, his classic sign before a rambling session. “The common North American myth originates from the African-American folk spirituality known as hoodoo,” he began. “It’s said that rabbit’s feet are lucky because of their reproductive habits, so carrying a rabbit’s foot was thought to help with fertility.”

“Oh, well we don’t have to worry about that for a while,” you said.

“If Garcia knew about that, I think she would give us rabbit feet non-stop. She always loves a potential godchild to spoil,” he chuckled.

“I can’t wait for that,” you beamed.

“For kids?” he asked.

“All of it. I can’t for us. I can’t wait for us to get married, to have kids, and I can’t wait for us to grow old together,” you answered.

“Me neither, Y/N,” Spencer gushed.

He leaned his forehead into yours and pecked you on the lips.

“Ready to go back inside?” you whispered.

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

You both got up, and held hands. You weren’t freaked out anymore. 

You had Spencer, and that’s the only thing that mattered.

Under the Stars Part 2

I’m coming home, I’m coming home, tell the world I’m coming home. Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday.  I know my kingdom awaits, and they have forgiven my mistakes.  I’m coming home, I’m coming home, tell the world I’m coming…..home.

Lance gripped the steering column of the Altean pod he was flying as the crystal blue waters below him sped by. He couldn’t believe that he was back on Earth, on his way back to Cuba, back to his home.  

After Allura had announced that they would be spending a few days on Earth for some rest and relaxation the mood in the castle changed drastically.  There was laughter and smiles everywhere, Hunk spun around and hugged Keith, much to the boy’s surprise, Shiro held Pidge while she laughed and cried at the same time.  Lance surprisingly didn’t react like the others, he didn’t cry, laugh or hug any of his teammates, he just stood there, watching the planet become larger and larger. He smiled as he thought of his family, how much had missed them and wondered how much his younger siblings had grown in the time he had been gone.  

“Allura?  Are we going to be able to visit our families?” he asked tentatively.  At his words the others stopped their celebrating and looked at Allura expectantly.

“Of course you will Lance. That is the entire point of coming here, so that you can be with your families and relax.  I know you have all been so strong over the past six years, fighting in a war that wasn’t your own, but I want you to know that we know how much you have sacrificed,” she said as Coran nodded behind her.

“You both have sacrificed a lot more than what we have,” Shiro said as he still held Pidge, who was now starting to vibrate from the excited energy of seeing her mother.

“So how are we going to do this?  It’s not like we can just take the Lions and say surprise,” Keith asked as he wriggled in Hunk’s embrace, trying to escape.

“That is true Number 4. I suggest you take the pods from the castle and use them to go see your families,” Coran suggested.

Pidge raised her head, “Maybe we can bring them back here at some point?  I don’t know if some of our families will believe us if we say we have been fighting in giant metal cats, that just happen to be sentient, in an intergalactic war that has been raging on for over 10,000 years with a couple of aliens that we found.  Even saying it out loud sounds ridiculous and we are the ones that lived it.”

“That sounds wonderful Pidge, I would love to meet your families and show them around the castle,” Allura smiled as she clapped her hands with excitement.  “Now go on!  What are you waiting for?”

Lance found himself smiling as he thought of his space family, Shiro heading back to Japan to see his mother and father, Hunk going to Samoa to see his mum and sisters, Pidge speeding like a demon back to America to see her mum and Keith who said he didn’t know where his dad was, was going back his shack in the middle of the desert to collect all his stuff and bring it back to the castle.  

Lance was nervous about seeing his family again, he wondered what the Garrison had told them all those years ago, had they told them he was dead?  He thought back to that night that they ran from the Garrison after rescuing Shiro, had they had an opportunity to message their families?  Could they have at least left a message saying they were heading off to look for a mystical weapon that aliens were trying to get first? He snorted, god that was even worse that Pidge’s description of what they had been doing for the past six years.

The shore line came into view and his heart leapt, he was almost there, he could already smell the pizza and garlic knots that he would get with his family.  He guided the pod to a secluded section of beach that was far away from the masses of tourists and locals, he knew that no one ever came out this far, this used to be his secret spot, not even his own brothers and sisters knew about this.

Taking a deep breath, he turned on the cloaking device Pidge had installed a few years ago and exited the pod.  Turning towards the end of the beach he slowly made his way through the coarse sand, his feet sinking with every step.  Oh how he had missed the smell of salt in the air, the sound of the water crashing into the beach and the sound of crying….wait.

He crept around the bluff that hid the secret area of the beach and froze as he saw a woman kneeling on the sand, holding a wreath of vibrant flowers to her chest as she wept. Her curly brown hair and dull blue eyes were unmistakable.

“Mama?  What’s wrong?”

At the sound of his voice her head whipped around and her mouth opened as she dropped the flowers into the sand.

“Lance?”

“Hi mama, I’m back.”

Too Young, Too dumb, Too Powerful Part 4

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Other characters: Pepper Potts

When Tony was a reckless young playboy he had his late night adventures usually ending with a girl in his bed, but when he met your mother, everything in his world changed. He fell in love with her beautiful smile and her contagious laugh. When he knocked her up it had been the happiest he had ever been, knowing that he was going to start a family with the love of his life. When your mother went into labour, there had been many complications that it left her dead ten minutes after you had been brought into the world. Tony Stark was left with a baby girl and a broken heart. He knew what he had to do, and it was to raise you right even if that meant raising you as a single parent. You were Tony Stark’s most prize possession, not the suits. You were his princess and he treated you like one. But when his princess gets older and meets Tony Stark’s newest recruit, Spiderman/Peter Parker, Tony realizes you’re growing up and he could lose you as well.

I was walking the busy streets of New York, trying to get my mind off the horrible seen that happened back at the tower, my home. Home is where the heart is but how much of your heart is there if it’s not fully invested in what I once thought was my whole world
your life. my life has been anything but normal, but how would I know what normal is? if I’m constantly being sheltered I’ll never see the world of what it truly is. I never walk through the streets alone, partly because I wasn’t allowed to the leave the tower without supervision. I walked down a certain street that triggered a wave of memories and pain, as I stood over the place where my father once laid, on the verge of death.

Pain is something I’ve been used to. I was raised never really expecting my dad to be a constant in my life, yet he always managed to get through it all so he could tuck me into bed and kiss me goodnight. My father has gone to hell and back throughout his lifetime, but he rose above it all. I’ll never forget that day in New York.

2012

We all sat around the tv on the private jet completely shocked. Pepper was rubbing my back as she tried to comfort me, and herself. New York has been taken over by aliens.

“Y/N, it’ll be alright, honey, don’t worry. He’ll be there when we land.” Pepper soothed.

I turned and tried to give her a sad smile. He will, I thought to myself, he’ll be standing there on the roof of the tower, in his sunglasses, waiting for me with his arms ready to embrace me.

Pepper’s phone rang. It rang once and she picked it up right away. With a face of sadness and sorrow she handed the phone over to me. Although I knew I wouldn’t like the words coming from the other line I put the phone to my ear, with my last adolescent hopefulness hoping my father would be alive.

“Dad,” I spoke, but my voice was shaking. I knew I had to stay strong for him, but how can you stay strong when you know your weakness is going to creep up on at any moment.

“Hey sweetheart,” he spoke through the phone, “ I don’t know if I’ll come home this time. I just wanted to say that I love you so much. I am a better man because of you. You are my whole world. You’re so strong.” I could hear him choking up, I had never heard him cry. “You’re exactly like your mother. So beautiful with such a big heart . She’d be so proud of you,” he began to cry harder. “If I don’t make it, please know that I am always with you.”

“Dad, I love you.”

‘User is no longer available’

I let out a cry that shook the company of the jet to the core. Pepper rushed to my side, with tears falling down her face as well, she held me. We wept together. We grieved together. We lost the most important person in my world.

Present Time.

I realized I had to talk to my dad. My time with him is so valuable, so much more than I’ve been able to realize. He has provided me a world most kids dream of living in. I see the avengers up close. I get to a priority to the Tony Stark. I get to have Tony Stark as my father.

I begin to rush back to the tower, not wanting to waste any time. As I turn corners and cross streets, I can see the illumination from the lights, I feel a pair of large hands grab my shoulders and pull me into an alley.

(MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT. IF TRIGGERED DO NOT READ.)

“GET OFF ME! PUT ME DOWN YOU DICK!” I cried and kicked my legs but he didn’t budge. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? PUT ME DOWN OR MY DAD WILL KILL YOU!”

The mysterious man threw me down on the pavement of the alley. My head hit the pavement and I felt blood drip down my forehead. I began to get dizzy, but I could still make out the man who dragged me here.

“Stark has built some impressive stuff, but I think you’re the best thing he’s ever made.” He rasped. He began to unbuckle belt and pull down his pants. I quickly got up, but I was so dizzy that I fell to the ground right in front of the man.

He picked me up and pushed me, roughly, against the building. I was screaming, praying someone would hear me.

“Daddy can’t save you now, princess.” He said against my ear, sending unpleasant shivers throughout my body. His hands were all over me and I couldn’t stop my cries and screams, but he didn’t mind. As his hands moved lower towards my privates I felt his touch suddenly leave my body.

I look behind me, confused, only to see this horrible man trapped in a web.

“He father may not save her, but I sure will.” I heard Peter yell as he threw punches at the man, who was helpless now.

“Peter,” I breathed out. He was in his horrible homemade suit with his old goggles. He took off his mask and I saw his beautiful face, I felt so relieved. I ran into his arms and he hugged me tightly to his body.

He pulled away and held my face in his soft hands. He looked terrified and angry all at once.

“I leave you alone for a few hours, and you end up getting assaulted? What were you thinking, Y/N? Do you know what would have happened if I didn’t show up in time? I don’t even want to imagine that.” He yelled. He’s never raised his voice at me, but I don’t blame him.

“Peter, I’m okay. You saved me. I’m here, with you, all safe.” I spoke, but he wouldn’t look at me. I sighed, and grabbed his face and turned it to mine. “I’m here. I’m safe, thanks to you.”

“I just love you so much, Y/N. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. I never want you hurt, or too feel any pain.” He began tearing up. I nodded and wiped his tears away.

“I love you too, Spider-man.”

“We should call the police. They’ll get your father.”

After Peter made the call, five police cars showed up. A few of them went to the guy on the wall and let him loose only to put him handcuffs and shoved him in the car. The rest came up to me and questioned me about what happened and how I got my injuries. All questions, all movements stopped when the sound of a red metal suit flew through the sky. He landed right between the police and Peter and I.

“Thank you, officers. I’ll take these two home.”

As some of the police cars drove off, Peter and I put a little space between us. My father stepped out of his suit and walked over to me. He stared at me for thirty seconds and embraced me in a big hug, which I quickly returned.

“Oh my baby, my beautiful daughter. My sweet girl, I am so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I should have never reacted like that. I would have never driven you to leaving the building and you almost get-getting-”

“No, dad, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for sneaking around with Peter. I’m sorry for lying to you, for breaking the rules. I’m so sorry for leaving, unsupervised and without permission,” I cried into his chest.

“The only thing that matters right now is that you’re safe. All thanks to Mr. Parker over there.” My dad nodded over at Peter who was awkwardly standing near the two of us.

“Mr. Stark,” he nodded.

“Look, Peter, I was a bit harsh, but I have to be. She’s my only child and I care about her more than anything and I just wanted her to be safe, but you proved to me that you could do just that. I will never be able to thank you enough for saving Y/N life.”

“Of course, Mr. Stark. And if I may, I just want to say that I would go to the ends of the Earth for you daughter to keep her safe. I’m in love with her.” Peter spoke with a confident voice, which he’s never been able to establish in front of my father.

“I know you do, Peter. I will allow you to see her again, but of course rules will be put in place.”

“Yes, Mr. Stark.” Peter held out his hand for my dad to shake it but instead my father went in for a hug, which Peter returned.

“I’ll give you too a moment alone to do, whatever sappy teenage love stuff. A moment! Nothing more!” My dad said, walking off to talk to the remaining officers.

“So, wanna have dinner with my dad and I tonight?”

Newcomers Pt 23

“Karen! KAREN!” Creten screamed her name trying to rouse her, even after they pulled him from the rubble and separated him from her vines “KAREN WAKE UP”

“Shut up” Hopkin shouted throwing him to the ground “You wanted to see this, you wanted to see what war was, well here it is” he pointed at Karen laying there.

“This is war, people die, your friends die and maybe even you will die, war is little more than organised murder of thousands or even millions of people. Look, this is the face of war” Hopkins held Creten facing her, tears were flowing freely as he saw her lay there unmoving. He screamed, she had died saving him, she had a choice to either dig her way out of the rubble or save him and she had chosen him without a second thought.

Hopkins’s grasp on his arm loosened and he ran to Karen’s body and shook her.

“No! Oupa! Oupa wake up!”

Oupa in the Benemar language means mother or second mother considering the context. He shook her crying this name laying his head on her body as if trying to hear her heart come back to life. Hopkins knelt down next to him and Creten swung his arms around him, Hopkins was angry he blamed this child for her death. But he also knew that Karen would not want him to, he like all Humans in the Link had felt her fade, felt her die, she was not afraid except for Creten and even though Sharn had begged her to save herself she refused. Even when her body died her mind had lingered in the Link, bidding her final farewells before her voice was little more than a whisper and then gone completely.

“Creten” Hopkins said and he looked into the eyes of the life that Karen had saved. “If I remember correctly in Benemar culture when one sacrifices their life for another, the survivor become as Polintarin, a spirit carrier and holds the spirit of the life that was sacrificed. Correct?”

Creten wiped his tears away and nodded.

“Then you are a Polintarin and you now carry Karen’s spirit. I can think of none more worhty to do so”

Creten looked into Hopkins eyes again seeing no mockery of their ways or beliefs and once more he wept, he felt a presence behind him and turned to see a Human he did not know looking down at him.

“Is this the one?” she asked.

“Yes” Hopkins said standing and taking a step back.

“I am Sharn, Karen’s wife”

Creten’s eyes widened, did she blame him for her death? Did she want revenge?

He knelt before her and exposed the back of his neck, in Benemar culture this means he was offering his life to her. In fact in Benemar culture Sharn had to right to kill him and release the spirit of Karen from his keeping. But she only stood there, as if deciding what to do. Finally she knelt down before him and raised his head and embraced him like a son.

“Thank you for being with her in her final moments”

Creten returned the embrace “I will try to be a worthy Polintarin for Karen”

“If that is to start you need a better name” she said releasing the embrace.

“But I am a creten, we cannot change our names”

“Well now you hold the spirit of a Human and we can, how about…Ceran”

(Pronounced Care-rahn)

His eyes widened “Ceran” he whispered over and over again as if he couldn’t believe it.

“You are no longer an unwanted one, Ceran”


The city had been hit and hit hard, fires were still burning all over the city and the Humans were struggling to get them under control, many shelters had to be emptied less they become buried under the collapsed buildings. In a strange turn the local Benemar offered to help fight the fires and were quickly put to work doing so as the Humans could not afford to refuse. The death toll rose continuously as more bodies were found and thousands more were still missing and it would be likely their remains would never be found.

The bombers that had struck the city were intercepted by three separate squadrons on their return journey, these had been out on patrol and were the very ones the bombers had avoided when they made their run. Now they avenged Geeda, only 29 bombers returned and only 11 of their escorts but the High Chiefs celebrated this assault as a major victory.


Jenkins sat in the control tower watching as the numbers came in, not just the survivors but the dead and the now homeless. It would take weeks to re home them all and probably a few more days before the fires were all out. Not only that, they had discovered the bombers target, their warehouses that held their supplies, nearly all had been levelled and nearly nothing was able to be salvaged.

“You have to admire their precision” Cho said “They knew exactly where those warehouses were”

“Yes, levelling most of the city was just a bonus to them, to try and kill as many of our troops and stretch our resources knowing we would help the population” Jenkins agreed feeling angry.

“This now puts us in an awkward position, it will take us months to resupply to the level we were previously”

Jenkins looked at his second in command “Giving our enemy more time to prepare the defences of Potellan and train their troops”

“So what are our options?”

“Well, we can wait till we are resupplied and drag this war out for at least another year maybe even two, or we can attack now and end it tomorrow, but we may loose the war tomorrow”

“Our enemy wants us to attack now, before we were truly ready” Cho stated “And if we do not, he gains the more time he needs to even call in reinforcements from the Alliance”

“Neither option is particularly inviting” Jenkins sat in thought for a long time “I shall speak to Admiral Winston and Captain Kiev to consult on this. The outcome of this war hangs in the balance”

Cho watched him leave so he may speak to them through the Link in private, he turned his attention back to monitor “Who would have thought a single attack could have such massive ramifications”


“Creten!” Oolana screamed running through the crowed as she saw her son and held him in her arms for a few moments before hitting him over the head. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again, you hear me!”

“I’m sorry mother” he said and she held him close once more.

Malthos came running but when he and his son locked eyes he slowed his pace, Selan was with him but she did not have the same reservations and embraced him.

“Creten” Malthos greeted but he did have a slight smile, he was happy he was okay.

“My name is not Creten any more”

“What?” his father shot at him.

“I have been given a new name, Ceran for I am now a Polintarin”

“Who’s spirit do you carry?” Oolana asked.

“Karen’s, you met her a few days ago”

Oolana’s mind went to that day she found him with her in the bar and how Karen had looked at Creten…Ceran with the pride and love usually seen from a mother.

“Well, my son…Ceran carry her spirit well”

“Cretens cannot change their names” his father said rather harshly.

“But Humans can and the spirit I carry is Human” Ceran replied.

Suddenly there was an uproar as people were shouting at a Human standing on a small stage and he was trying to calm them.

“Please be patient, food and relief supplies are on the way” the Human said holding his hands up.

“You are keeping them for yourself!” shouted one.

“You did this to us!”

“You brought war to our world!”

“You tore our world apart!”

People shouted more and more insults and were working themselves into a frenzy, the few Humans that were present moved their hands to their guns in fear of being attacked. Ceran frowned and took to the stage, some thought he was going to attack the Human but he turned to the crowed calling for them to listen to him. Many there had heard him speak before or knew of him so he stole their attention.

“The Humans did not do this to you, it was the High Chiefs, they sent those bombers knowing full well this city was full of Benemar!”

That made them silent and look at each other, they could not help but agree to that.

“Most of you know me, you know me as Creten, but I a Polintarin and hold the spirit of a Human” He went on to recount what he saw of the bombers and the wall of flame and how the Humans fought hard to defend the city and them. And of how Karen had grabbed him without a second thought and sacrificed her life to save his and did so willingly and without pause.

“I am Ceran now and I hold the spirit of Karen with pride and I will make sure I am worthy vessel for her reside in. And I start by saying truly now and without an ounce of hesitation, the High Chiefs are traitors to our race. It was them and those who came before them that choked our air and burned our soil and made us fight in their wars. The Humans are not here to conquer us, they are here to liberate us! The High Chiefs ordered the destruction of their world and the Humans come here to free us from them. Would they have shown the Humans such quarter as they have shown to you?”

The crowed was silent, a few in the back and out of sight of being identified shouted traitor and when Ceran offered them a chance to come and explain their view they shrunk away.  

“I stand with the Humans…Will you stand with me?”

anonymous asked:

Voyager is by far my favorite book so I give no fucks for what comes next. For me they can end the serie after it and would be a bless this fu**** fandom coming to an end! The friendships I made because of it don't depend of this mess. We are far beyond people that are only linked by liking these books, the show and these actors which the only interest in us, it's clear now, is to get fame, new jobs and our money to their charities.

I give way to many fucks about what comes next because A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES! How can you say some shit like that?! Gah! You are going to jinx it…. Take it back 🔪

If I have to go on virtual dress up picnics with no food with the trash bag for the next few years, so be it. Worth it!

I must see:

“Kill them all,” he said to Fergus, his voice still calm.

AND…..

She took one huge breath and her body relaxed all at once, going limp and heavy like a dying hare.
He held her, both arms wrapped around her as though to save her from drowning, but felt her sink away all the same. He wished to call out to her not to go, not to leave him alone. She vanished into the depths of sleep, and he yearned after her, wishing her healed, fearing her flight, and bent his head, burying his face in her hair and her scent.
The wind banged the open shutters as it passed, and in the dark outside, one owl hooted and another answered, hiding from the rain.
Then he cried, soundless, muscles strained to aching that he might not shake with it, that she might not wake to know it. He wept to emptiness and ragged breath, the pillow wet beneath his face. Then lay exhausted beyond the thought of tiredness, too far from sleep even to recall what it was like. His only comfort was the small, so fragile weight that lay warm upon his heart, breathing.

AND THIS:

“You must continue, for their sakes—though you would not for your own,” he had whispered, Fergus’s face pressed into his shoulder, the black hair wet with sweat and water, cold against his cheek. “Tu comprends, mon enfant, mon fils? Comprends-tu?”
I felt his throat move as he swallowed.
“See, I kent ye were dying,” he said very softly. “I was sure ye’d be gone when I came back to the house, and I should be alone. I wasna speaking to Fergus then, I think, so much as to myself.”
He raised his head then, and looked at me through a blur of tears and laughter.
“Oh, God, Claire,” he said, “I would have been so angry, if ye’d died and left me!”

AND….

“You gave her … tenderness. I know you did.”
He turned to me, suddenly, and my face was pressed into his coat, the cloth of it damp and rough on my skin, my tears blooming in tiny warm patches that vanished at once into the chill of the fabric.
“Oh, Claire,” he whispered into my hair. I reached up, and could feel wetness on his cheeks. “She said—she wished to keep ye alive for me. And she meant it; she didna mean to take anything for herself.”
I cried then, holding nothing back. For empty years, yearning for the touch of a hand. Hollow years, lying beside a man I had betrayed, for whom I had no tenderness. For the terrors and doubts and griefs of the day. Cried for him and me and for Mary MacNab, who knew what loneliness was—and what love was, as well.

ANNNNND…..


“Knew you’d come,” I whispered into the linen of his shirt. He reeked of fire: smoke and pinesap and scorched cloth, and the bitter tang of turpentine. Reeked of stale sweat and horses, the weariness of a man who has not slept, who has labored all night, the faint yeasty smell of long hunger.
He held me close, ribs and breath and warmth and muscle, then put me away from him a little and looked down into my face. He had been smiling since I saw him. It lit his eyes, and without a word, he pulled the cap off my head and threw it over the rail. He ran his hands through my hair, fluffing it out into abandon, then cupped my head in his hands and kissed me, fingers digging into my scalp. He had a three-day beard, which rasped my skin like sandpaper, and his mouth was home and safety.

This:

“I love you,” he said, so softly that I barely heard him, close as we were.
I lay still for a moment, feeling the stone grow warmer in the palm of my hand. Surely it was imagination that made it seem to throb in time with my heart. Where on earth had he gotten it?
Then I moved—not suddenly, but with deliberation, my body sliding slowly free of his. I rose, feeling light-headed, and crossed the room. Pushed open the window to feel the sharp touch of the autumn wind on my naked bed-warm skin, and drawing back my arm, hurled the tiny object into the night.
Then I came back to bed, saw his hair a dark mass on the pillow, and the shine of his eyes in the moonlight.
“I love you,” I whispered, and slid under the sheet beside him, putting my arms around him, hugging him close, warmer than the stone—so much warmer—and his heart beat with mine.
“I’m none so brave as I was before, ken?” he said very softly. “Not brave enough to live without ye anymore.”
But brave enough to try.
I drew his head down to me, stroking the tumble of his hair, coarse and smooth at once, live beneath my fingers.
“Lay your head, man,” I said softly. “It’s a long time ’til dawn.”

imagine #15

character - Gally

words - 2062

warnings - n/a

description - You cherish the promise ring Gally made for you back in the Glade.

a/n – requested anonymously ; I changed the request slightly as I tend to go by book events, but I hope you still like it!

Keep reading

You

To celebrate living together for three months, Jughead and Betty go out for dinner to celebrate when tragedy strikes and only one of them make it home.

“If you must die, sweetheart
Die knowing your life was my life’s best part”
 ~ You by Keaton Henson.

… …. … ….

Jughead curled around Betty’s form, her soft whimpers shaking her tiny body. He couldn’t help but smirk.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Betty moaned.

“Baby, it’s a cartoon.” He smoothed a hand over her calf.

“It’s a sad cartoon,” she protested, her bottom lip wobbling as a fresh round of tears threatening to spill over.

“I-it’s not Bambi. It’s Tangled, you know Flynn Rider comes back to -”

“She was his new dream, Jughead.” She whimpered.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Jughead sat up and pulled Betty into his lap. “I won’t let anything bad happen, Bets.”

They watched the rest of the movie intertwined, a smile now plastered on Betty’s face.

“Do you know what today is?” Jughead murmured as the credits rolled on the small TV screen in front of them.

“Of course I do,” Betty turned to face Jughead, a soft hand palming his cheek. “Three months today you moved in with me. Best three months of my life.” She smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

“Shouldn’t we go out to celebrate?”

“Okay, yeah,” Betty smiled again. “I’d like that. Just let me change.”

Betty scooted off the bed and stood in front of the closet, weighing her options. She knew how much Jughead liked the silk blush minidress that hung before her, but he’d seen it so many times.

“You know what I was thinking earlier?” Jughead stripped off his worn S t-shirt and tossed it on the bed, pulling a dark grey Henley over his head.

“Mm?” Betty decided on the blush dress and pulled it out of the closet.

“I think Hot Dog needs a friend.”

Betty burst out laughing as she stripped. “Jug we can barely handle him. We can’t handle a puppy, too.”

Jughead padded over, hunger in his eyes as he took in her naked form. “You start walking around like that and maybe we’ll make it a tiny human friend instead,” He murmured, his hand splaying over her abdomen.

“In due time, Juggie, in due time.” Betty smiled and kissed him slowly. She broke away and slipped the delicate fabric over her head. “Zip me up?”

“You know, I think I changed my mind about dinner. We could stay in and I could eat -”

“Down, boy.” Betty smirked. “We’ll have plenty of time for that later.”

Jughead smiled and zipped the back of Betty’s dress to the top.

“Thank you,” She placed a kiss on his cheek and padded out of the room.

Betty studied herself in the mirror, smoothing the light pink dress over her stomach. She leaned in closer, dragging the kohl liner across her eyelids gently before adding a coat of mascara.

“Ready to go?”

Betty smiled and took Jughead’s hand, patted Hot Dog on the head, then grabbed her keys and headed out of the apartment.


They were seated in the restaurant thirty minutes later, a glass of wine  in front of each of them.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Jughead murmured, leaning in to hold Betty’s hand.

Betty smiled and nodded. “You tell me that every day, Jug.”

“I don’t want  you to ever forget.” Jughead smiled and cleared his throat.

“I love you,” Betty smiled and reached for her wine glass, holding it up across from her. “To the start of the rest of our lives.” She waited for Jughead to raise his glass, but a look of terror flooded his face instead.

Betty’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Jug?” She murmured.

Jughead coughed suddenly, his eyes welling with tears. He stood, clutching at his throat, knocking his chair over behind him.

“Jug?” Panic rose in Betty’s voice.

He coughed violently, blood and saliva spilling over onto his bottom lip, spraying the white tablecloth as he fell to the ground, his face stricken with fear.

“Somebody help!” Betty screamed as she pushed back her chair, kneeling down to where Jughead lay, blood and spit sticking to his lips.

He tried to speak, but it came out garbled, his lungs filling with fluid, blood, anything but air. Tears were spilling over, streaking his skin, sticking heavily to his lashes. Betty brushed the hair back from his face as she placed a delicate kiss on his temple, hands shaking as she wiped a tear off his cheek.

“Jughead, please stay with me.” She sobbed, pulling his head onto her lap. “Jug?”

He choked again, coughing, spraying blood from his lips as he struggled to breathe. He looked terrified.

Short, rasping breaths filled her ears as Jughead’s lips pressed together in a  'B’, over and over they pressed together until finally, through gasps he choked “B-Betty.” His hand found hers and he squeezed.

“Baby?” The word clung to her lips as people clad in white rushed to their sides, pulling Jughead delicately onto a gurney, separating them momentarily.

Someone had called an ambulance. How long had they been on the ground?

Betty followed closely, stepping into the back of the ambulance, finding Jughead’s hand. She gripped with all her might as they hooked him up to a machine.

She felt his grip loosen as he coughed again loudly, sputtering, choking.

“Jughead?” Betty screamed as she stared at his closed eyelids. “No…” She breathed.


She unlocked her apartment door with shaking hands. The sun was coming up now. How long had she been gone? They kept telling her, the doctors and nurses, to go home and get some rest. How was she supposed to get some rest? When she closed her eyes, all she saw was Jughead. Blood. Gasping for air. The terrible noise of his last gasping breath.

She dropped the keys on the counter top numbly and took a deep breath. Hot Dog came bounding out of the bedroom, paws slapping the laminate as he charged at Betty. He panted, waiting for the treat that was always handed to him when they came home.

Betty patted his head and stumbled into the living room, catching sight of herself in the mirror. There was blood on her dress - his favorite dress - and blood in her tangled hair. She felt the bile rise in her throat, her body reacting to the sight of blood - Jughead’s blood - staining her dress, her hair, her skin. She ran to the bathroom and got sick in the toilet.

She stripped the dress off her clammy skin and stepped into the shower, thankful for the built-in seat she could rest on. She didn’t trust her legs would hold her up much longer.

She wept as the water poured over her skin, light pink water swirling down the drain, erasing any trace of Jughead on her body.

As Betty faltered out of the bathroom, Jughead’s silver laptop glinted in the daylight sun, catching her eye. She picked it up and pressed it to her nude body, bringing it to the bedroom with her.

Jughead’s disheveled S t-shirt was still on the bed where he had changed out of it hours earlier. She pulled it on over her head and curled up on the bed beside Hot Dog, opening Jughead’s laptop.

She opened a search engine, then typed in ‘Pulmonary Embolism’.

She felt the tears stream down her face, reading the symptoms, then exited out of the page. She looked through his files, through his finished novel - his half finished novel, his second work. Then, she found a folder named HER.

 'Like a summer storm - bold and enthralling and magical. Awe-inspiring. Beautiful. Powerful and like nothing else in the world.' 

 'The very definition of ethereal.' 

 'If not for her, I wouldn’t know of love. Wouldn’t believe it exists. But she taught me, not only does it exist, but it is the most powerful thing on earth.' 

Betty didn’t realize she was shaking until Hot Dog stuck his cold nose under her arm and whimpered. He cocked his head to the side, questioning.

Betty slowly closed the laptop and placed it beside her, then wrapped her arm around the dog, tears dropping onto his fur.

Eventually, after her eyes started to burn but still sleep would not come, she flicked on the TV - the menu for Tangled was still up, the PLAY prompt in bold.


While Flynn was singing about his dream, Betty drifted off into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

Never~ Crutchie Morris X Reader (Newsies)

Originally posted by heythatsmycigar

TRIGGER WARNING!!! Slight hint of sexual assult (but not really just assholes hitting up on you) and bullying


Race smiled sadly at the letter in his hands as he approached David, showing him the letter. “She come ‘round yet?”

“No.” He sighed, taking it from his friend’s hand, “Who knows when she will be either, working all those jobs of hers. Trying to get both Jack and Crutchie out of there.” He opened it slowly, “From Crutchie I assume?”

Race laughed bitterly, raising a cigar to his lips, “Like ‘ey gonna give Jack a pen an’ papea.”

Keep reading

pathfinderlittleduck  asked:

Any newly romanced Male companion (includes even non romances as a romance) reacting to seeing the Sole cry for the first time??

Danse: At first, he didn’t know Sole had stopped. He kept on walking. He heard the sniffles. He turned back around to see him. Just standing there. Face in his elbow and shaking. Danse knew what it was. He was apprehensive at first. Then he remembered; how much Sole was there for him. How much Sole helped Danse get over his weak moments. Danse stepped out of his power armor, and silently hugged Sole. He pulled Sole into the warm hug, and he stayed there, holding him. Sole just closed his eyes, and embraced the hug. He’d never wanting anything more in his life. “Everything alright…honey?” Danse asked, making sure that Sole was fine. “Yeah…everything’s fine now.”

Deacon: They were just talking. Talking about everything that’s gone on so far. They were smiling. They were having a great time. Then Deacon mentioned something about the institute. Sole stopped laughing, but Deacon continued. He didn’t know that what he was saying was something that still affected Sole. Deacon turned to him, when he realized that Sole wasn’t laughing anymore. “Boss…Oh gosh, I’m sorry…” Deacon said, realizing that Sole was wiping the tears from his eyes. “No it’s okay Deacon. I just…I just got to get used to losing fa….Shaun.” Deacon wrapped his arms around Sole, “We lose people, and it sucks…but luckily, we also find new people. New people to love.” Deacon said, a smile growing on Sole’s face.

Preston: They finished clearing out the ghouls in the new settlement. Both he and Preston. They needed more spaces for more settlers. They were moving the ghoul bodies out and into the ground. They were never given proper burials. Sole just dropped the body he was carrying. He fell to his knees. He yelled, tears rolling down his face. Preston noticed this and ran to his side. “General what’s wrong?” Preston asking, holding onto Sole’s shaking body.“I’m tired of all this Preston. I feel like nothing’s changing. No matter what we do, or how much we do, we never get anywhere. Why do we even bother?” Sole kept on crying. Preston raised Sole’s head and made eye contact with him. “Hey. It may seem tough. It may seem that it’s not worth it. But it is, honey. It always will be worth it, no matter how dark it may seem” Preston ended the sentence with a kiss. After they parted, Sole smiled at Preston. “Thank you, honey.”

Hancock: They were finally cleaning up Sole’s old house. Sole’s been wanting to do this for a while now, and he wanted Hancock there.Sole’s house was filthy and there was junk everywhere. Hancock found a holotape that wasn’t labeled. He went to Sole’s PipBoy, and played it. Hey Honey…it started to play. Sole froze when he heard that voice. Hancock continued to listen to it, when Sole came and grabbed his pipboy, tears running down his face. He stopped the recording. “I’m sorry Sunshine.” Hancock said, wrapping his arms around Sole, letting Sole rest his head on his Shoulder. “It’s not your fault…It’s mine.” Sole said, crying. Hancock rubbed Sole’s back. “It was never your fault. Life’s hard out here. What’s important is that you fight back. It’s what I always say, Sunshine, when life give your lemons, you throw them back at them, in full force speed.” Sole laughed and he kissed Hancock.

X6-88: “X6…do you think I made the right decision?” Sole asked X6-88, when Sole was staring at the institute. His institute. “Yes sir…you did.” X6 responded, walking straight up behind Sole. All he could do was chuckle. “Do you really mean that, X6…or are you programmed to say that?” Sole said, tears rolling down his face. He was happy that he was able to meet Shaun, he just wished he had more time with him. “Sir…if I may…” X6 placed his hands on Sole’s shoulders. He slowly spun Sole around and brought him in for a hug. Sole was surprised by this. “I mean this from my heart. You taught me a lot, Sole. You taught me how to be who I am today. You are a great person, and I’m sure that you’ll be an excellent leader.” X6 pulled in Sole for a kiss. An awkward kiss, but netherless a kiss. Sole chuckled and grabbed X6’s face. “Thank you…X6.”

Maccready: He didn’t know where the tears came from. They were drinking, like they’ve been doing for some time now. Some nights it was just a drink or two. Some nights, it was a full fledged night of drinking. Tonight was the latter. They were drinking and Sole started to cry. It just came out of nowhere. “Aww c’mon boss…now’s not the time for tears. Come on, drink so more.” MacCready offered the bottle to Sole, but Sole pushed it away. MacCready sighed, and wrapped his arms around Sole, placing Sole’s head on his chest. “Hey…it’s alright, we all go through a lot, we fall…and we get back up. We’ll be fine alright.” MacCready said, laying a kiss on top of Sole’s head. Sole smiled, and rested his head in MacCready’s chest. They fell asleep holding onto each other.

Nick: “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to Sole?” Nick said, grabbing onto Sole’s hand. Sole looked at him, a small smile growing on his face. “I want to do this…for him, Nick.” Sole said, squeezing Nick’s hand. Nick returned that soft smile. They got to the cyro pods. Sole opened up his late husbands pod. He let the memories hit him. The tears started flooding his eyes. “I wish I could of saved him.” Sole whimpered. Nick pulled Sole in. Sole just stayed crying into Nick’s chest. Nick held him, never letting go. They buried him. Sole and Nick. When it was all done, Sole just sat by the grave, the tears returning. Nick placed his coat over Sole’s shoulders, and he sat down with him. He placed his arm around Sole’s shoulder and brought him in again. “It’s alright. He’s in a better place now. You can cry if you want to.” Nick said, kissing Sole on top of his forehead. Sole just placed his face into Nick’s shoulder and wept.

Gage: Gage has never really been in a serious relationship. Just partners here and there. Nothing too serious. So when he saw that Sole was crying, he didn’t really know how to react to it. He just sat there, trying to do something. Nothing was coming to him. He finally decided to go with a memory. “Hey…honey…everything alright?” He asked, placing a hand on Sole’s shoulder. He rubbed it, trying to console Sole. Let him know that he was there. Sole wiped his eye and looked at Gage, a smile forming in his face. “Everything’s fine, Gage. I’m sorry.” Gage smirked, “Darling, there’s no need to be sorry. Something happened, and it’s alright. C’mon, let me sing you a song my mamma used to sing to me when I was scared.” Sole embraced the hug and Gage started to softly sing to Sole. Gage didn’t realize that he started to tear up as well.

Olicity Drabble 5x17 ~Holding

Sometimes the hardest tests bring about the greatest gifts. This episode while emotionally heart-wrenching was also an amazing gift. This is just me hoping for an Olicity scene even it it wasn’t needed. (Gif: not mine)

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

“Darkness doesn’t just happen…

Like a endless nightmare darkness spreads through you slowly like a disease. At first the changes are slight and go unnoticed. But eventually the snow of the cold winter melts and, the scars of it’s punishing season are forever left behind…” 

Felicity let those words spread through her slowly like the very disease she feared would soon consume her. Seeing the blood along his open wounds for her was like looking in a mirror. His beaten battered body felt like a true reflection of her soul. Hearing him declare he was done sent shivers of cold relief through her rigid spine because, for once she didn’t feel that she’d emotionally been left behind. For once his soul, heart, mind and, body clearly matched her own…

The elevator doors slid together slowly, the room seemed to grow colder now that only their two shattered hearts remained. She heard his shuffled steps along the cold, unforgiving floors as she let her fingers dance slowly over the worn keys. She tried to shut down the world around her body as her eyes danced along the faded E. She heard him wince when his fingers slid down the side of the gray and green walls. Her heart thumped in agony as her thumb brushed over the worn space bar numbly. 

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anonymous asked:

Sith Qui-Gon and Sith Anakin bringing down the Jedi and confronting their (unofficially) joint-custody Jedi padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. How does Obi-Wan react? How do they try to seduce Obi-Wan to the dark side? Do they have to subdue him? Take away the force from him? (can work towards QuiObi, ObiKin, QuiAniObi, or none) Thank you!!!

Smoothing his hand over the soft strands of copper hair, Qui-Gon smiled when Obi-Wan gave a little murmur and squirmed against the couch fabric.

“Don’t wake him, he’ll go into shock if you wake him now.” Anakin murmured, still monitoring the Force with his eyes closed.

“I’m no padawan myself Anakin, I know better then to pull someone out of Force enhanced sleep until the Force settles.” Qui-Gon offered dryly before going back to stroking the short hair. “That does not mean I have to keep my touch off him.”

That just got him a low snort from the blond who went back to monitoring the Force.

Since Order 66 hit and Qui-Gon and Anakin had managed to modify it from kill to stun orders, several Force signatures had escaped Coruscant though there were still a large collection of them in the temple.

Qui-Gon knew the value of balance and balked at the idea of murdering the young, his disagreement with Palpatine loud and raging with Anakin watching the two older men quietly before quietly reminding Qui-Gon of Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan who officially belonged as Anakin’s padawan but had been just as much Qui-Gon’s if unofficially.

Obi-Wan who would never reject the Jedi teachings.

Obi-Wan who had lost his first master at the start of the war at Geonosis.

True and steady Obi-Wan with dancing green eyes and copper hair who was still in the temple, would still be in the temple when the Order activated. Obi-Wan who would die before he let his home fall, Obi-Wan who would not hesitate to stand between a blaster and any other Jedi in the temple.

Obi-Wan who was so attuned to the Unifying Force that the death of so many Jedi, the upheaval of the Force could destroy him.

They had needed to rescue him. He needed to be kept safe.

Palpatine could be dealt with later.

()()()

Obi-Wan stared at the temple, thin plumes of smoke still rising even days later and visible from the Senate District where Qui-Gon and Anakin’s apartment rested. Or perhaps it was Amidala’s apartment?

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure anymore though he had not seen hide nor hair of the Senator since he woke up in the apartment with the Master’s yellow eyes on him and the Force crying out at so much death of its chosen children.

He hadn’t seen much of anything except the apartment really and he finally glanced down at the ankle brace around his leg that prevented him from leaving, a brace that either Anakin or Qui-Gon checked once a day to ensure no tampering or faulty wires.

Cold shivers ran through Obi-Wan’s frame and he pulled the blanket he had taken from the couch with him out on the open veranda tighter around himself.

He had yelled at them, he had screamed and he had cried, rejected their attempts at comfort and eventually he had calmed down.

To many years of teaching had told him too calm down, too many years of meditation and lessons and the guidance of the light to keep him screaming.

Anakin had tried to get through to him, had tried to convince him how faulty the Jedi had become.

And yes, Obi-Wan had agreed with that, to both Qui-Gon’s and Anakin’s surprise.

And then Obi-Wan had started crying quiet tears that somehow seemed to hurt more then the screaming had.

“But did that mean you had to pull the Jedi out by the root?” He had whispered between bitter tears before he had gone to one of the guest rooms of the apartment to hide.

Apparently the younglings were still alive.

The creche had been untouched.

A small mercy.

He’d asked, with great reluctance, what the two Sith were planning to do about it, about the babes and the scared younglings.

Some would go home, home to the families that wanted them.

Some would stay at the temple, be taught by Ahsoka and oh had Obi-Wan wept even more bitter tears when he realized his friend had been dragged into the Dark side of the Force by the two Master’s he had so admired and been taught by after Geonosis.

But they wouldn’t be harmed and perhaps at this point, that was all Obi-Wan could ask for from his gilded prison.

There was a soft shift, the door opening, steps on the floor.

Obi-Wan had three years of recognizing those steps and had no need for the Force or his eyes to know who they belonged to as he kept his eyes on the plumes of smoke even as the sunset was approaching, spreading golden rays.

He made no motion when they stopped though, feeling eyes on him.

“…A great man once wrote ‘The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.’” He whispered, his voice filling the air. “I wonder how you two will be remembered once all has come to pass. What judgment history will pass. What means you two will go to for your goals to be meet…” He bowed his head before turning enough to look at both Qui-Gon and Anakin. “If you’re waiting for my indulgence, I will say it right now that there will be no forgiving this. No amount of time can make me forget the plumes of smoke. No amount of time will make me forget the fading screech of the many deaths all over the galaxy.” He pushed to his feet, the blanket left on the floor.

“No amount of time will make me forget this betrayal. No amount of time will make this any easier to carry.” He whispered, only a tired aching inside of him left of emotion. “But I’ll play pretend. The Galaxy will see its Emperor and his linage fall into place.” A humorless smile crossed Obi-Wan’s lips.

He finally turned, finding Qui-Gon by the pillars of the veranda and Anakin by the touch, the blonds hands digging into the fabric of it as they both watched Obi-Wan with those predator yellow eyes.

‘Eyes of the Fallen.’ Obi-Wan gritted his teeth before giving a low bow. “My lords, I live to serve.” He offered, tone mocking.

“You should know your place by now Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon rumbled quietly.

“Indeed I do my lords.” Obi-Wan High Coruscantian voice had a mocking lit, still in a half bow.

“Obi-Wan, don’t push our patience.” Anakin warned, clearly fighting against the snarl he wanted to give the nineteen year old.

Obi-Wan took four steps back at that until he stood at the edge of the veranda, a sick kind of satisfaction in seeing both of their eyes widen, the way Anakin’s mech hand tore into the couch from the force of his grip and the way Qui-Gon’s frame had gone tense. “Or what?” He whispered as the wind caught on his clothes and hair.

“Obi-Wan…come back from there.” Qui-Gon murmured, taking a step towards him only to freeze when Obi-Wan slid his left foot back until the heel of it was off the edge.

“No time will sooth the outrage of what you two did.” Obi-Wan whispered. “And I may be powerless to stop you two and Force blocked but you will do well to remember this…I am not powerless to everything.”

It was March 1, 1960, the night before Elvis was to leave Germany to return to the States. We were lying on his bed, our arms around each other. I was in a state of complete despair. “Oh, Elvis,” I said, “I just wish there were some way you could take me with you. I can’t stand the thought of life without you. I love you so much.” I began sobbing, my anguish overcoming my control, “Shhh, Baby,” Elvis whispered. “Try to calm down. There’s nothing we can do.” “I’m just afraid you’ll forget me the moment you land,” I cried. He smiled and kissed me gently. “I’m not going to forget you, Cilla. I’ve never felt this way about another girl. I love you.” “You do?” I was stunned. Elvis had said that I was special before, but he’d never said that he loved me. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I was frightened of getting hurt. I’d read some of Anita’s letters, and I was sure Elvis was on his way back to her open arms. Holding me close, he said, “I’m torn with the feelings I have for you. I don’t know what to do. Maybe being away will help me understand what I really feel.” That night our lovemaking took on a new urgency. Would I ever see him again, be in his arms the way I had been nearly every night for the past six months? I missed him already. I could not bear the thought of the night ending and our saying goodbye for what I thought would be the last time. I wept and wept until my body ached with pain. For the last time I begged him to consummate our love. It would have been so easy for him. I was young, vulnerable, desperately in love, and he could have taken complete advantage of me. But he quietly said, “No. Someday we well, Priscilla, but not now. You’re just too young.” I lay awake all that night and early the next morning I was back at 14 Goethestrasse, lost in the midst of a large group of people milling about the living room. They were waiting to say goodbye to Elvis, who was upstairs finishing his last-minute packing. Knowing that I alone would be accompanying him to the airport gave me a little comfort. When Elvis came downstairs, he laughed and joked with everyone there. Finally, after saying his last good-bye, Elvis turned to me. “Okay, Little One, it’s time to go.” I nodded glumly and followed him out the door. Oblivious to the drizzling rain, hundreds of fans were waiting outside. When they saw Elvis they went crazy, begging him to sign autographs. When he finished he jumped into the waiting car and pulled me in behind him. As the door slammed, the driver accelerated and we sped toward the airport. We rode for a long while in silence, both of us lost in thought. Elvis was gazing out the window, frowning over the falling rain. “I know it’s not going to be easy for you to go back to being a schoolgirl again after being with me, Cilla, but you’ve got to. I don’t want you to be sitting around moping after I leave, Little One.” I started to protest, but he silenced me. “Try to have a good time, write to me every chance you get. I’ll look forward to your letters. Get pink stationery. Address them to Joe. That way I’ll know they’re from you. I want you to promise me you’ll stay the way you are. Untouched, as I left you. “I will,” I promised “I’ll look for you from the top of the ramp. I don’t want to see a sad face. Give me a little smile. I’ll take that with me.” Then, handing me his combat jacket and the sergeant’s stripes he’d recently been awarded, he said, “I want you to have these. It shows you belong to me."After that, he held me tight. As we approached the airport, the cheers of the waiting crowds grew louder. We drove as close to the runway as possible, then Elvis turned to me and said, "This is it, Baby.” We got out as cameras flashed, reporters shouted, and screaming fans pressed toward us. Elvis held my hand and walked across the runway apron until the guard, who was there to escort Elvis to the plane, stopped me from going further. Elvis gave me a brief hug and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll call you when I get home, Baby, promise.” I nodded, but before I could answer, we were pulled apart as the crowds rushed in. I was swept away by hundreds of fans, pushing and pulling, trying to get to him. I cried, “Elvis!” but he never heard me. He ran up the boarding steps. Then he turned and waved to the crowd, his eyes searching for me. I waved frantically, as did hundreds of other fans, yet he found me, and for one more brief moment, our eyes locked. Then he disappeared. Just like that. My parents came to the airport to drive me back to Wiesbaden. During the long ride I was silent.
For the next two days I locked myself in my room, unable to eat, unable to sleep.
Finally my mother said "This isn’t going to help. Moping around here isn’t going to bring him back. He’s gone. He’ll be getting into his new life, and so should you.
I forced myself to go to school and found myself swamped with photographers and reporters who were calling me ” the girl he left behind" and barraging me with questions
How old are you, Miss Beaulieu?
I’m uh-—"
“Your records show you’re only in the ninth grade”
“Well, ah yes, that—”
“How long have you known Mr Presley?”
“About….. Just a few months”
“What is your relationship with him?”
“We’re….. Just friends.”
“Has he called you since he returned.”
“No, but—”
“Did you know he’s seeing Nancy Sinatra?”
“What?”
Suddenly feeling sick, I excused myself and left.

From “Elvis and Me”

Together Or Alone

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Summary: You were recruited for the Super Soldier program but how much could you lose in pursuit of defending your country?  Your freedom? Your life?  Your Bucky?

Word Count: 1850 words

Prompt: A request from @wintersoldier229569 which sent me down several rabbit holes before we got here. I changed things a little but I hope you like it anyway sweetie.

“YOU DO THIS AND YOU DO IT ON YOUR OWN!” those were the last words he had said to you and the one memory he seemed to be able to hold on to no matter how many wipes they put him through.  The hurt in your eyes haunted him and in the depths of night when he couldn’t sleep it was your face he could see clear as day and guilt knotted in his stomach as the stupid fight played over and over, his own personal torture.  

Bucky hadn’t been ecstatic about Steve signing up for the Super Soldier treatment but when you said you had been approached he couldn’t keep his tongue.  He had seen what it was like out there and you were the last person he wanted subjected to the horrors.  No, you were supposed to be here waiting for him, his reason to fight, something to get back to.  He had never told you this of course, James Barnes could never lay himself bare like that to you in case you laughed in his face or something but… you were his girl damn it.  The argument raged on for at least an hour with raised voices and Steve trying his best to step in and calm the situation but as soon as those words had left Buckys mouth you all knew it was over.  You had turned on your heels and high tailed it out of their so quick he didn’t even get chance to apologies and that was the last time he had ever seen you.  Only it wasn’t.

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A Monster Stared Back

What if the mob had never reached Erik’s home?


Hi guys. I know I haven’t finished my other things, but I started another thing.. Let me know what you think. It’s just a one shot for the moment. Phanty belongs to Leroux & Lloyd Webber


She had placed the ring in my palm. Her two small hands had closed over my own for a single, precious moment; her touch was soft, tender- something I had seldom experienced. It was one of the few times she had willingly touched me, and we both seemed to pause slightly at the foreign sensation. A final barrier was broken between us as her hands touched mine.

The hands belonging to a man; just a man. Not a ghost, Phantom or specter.

I walked to the bank of the lake and watched her disappear from sight. I do not know what possessed me to do so. Perhaps I was a glutton for my own agony. My chest tightened as I saw her turn back briefly. Our eyes met for a second or two, and then she looked forward once more. Something I would never be able to do.

My fingers still closed around the ring she had given me, I sat down, allowing the tears to freely fall now that Christine was not around to see them. My home had never felt so empty- the oppressive silence was almost too much to bear. How had I lived like this for so long?

The silence was strange tonight though, given everything that had happened above ground. I would have expected some callers by now; the mob, the authorities… or both. Standing up and stashing the ring in my pocket, I waded once more into the murky water before me and peered as far as I could through the tunnel.

Nothing… Not a sound. No yells of impending doom, no distant flashes of light to signify torches approaching… nothing at all. My home was difficult to find, I had made it so, but after all the chaos and destruction I had caused, I was sure that someone would have found me on hatred or revenge alone.

Perhaps Madame Giry had drawn them away, or perhaps she had set her daughter the task. Part of me was relieved by the idea that I would be able to stay where I was and wallow in the grief that was suffocating me with each passing minute, that at least I would have my routine and security… my safety, but the other part told me that I needed to leave… one way or the other. I had either to submit myself to the mob, or the authorities and whatever they had in store, or I had to take my future into my own hands and walk away. Walk away from it all. Whatever that meant…

Everything in this Opera house would now remind me of Christine, the way I had treated her and the person… the monster I had become in the end.

Unceremoniously wiping my nose with my sleeve, I waded back to the shore. I bent down and picked up her veil, placing it back on the mannequin. It used to sit atop the mannequin’s head comfortably, but now it seemed so out of place. It did not belong there anymore. It belonged with Christine.

I decided to leave the portcullis up. For whoever found me in the end deserved the right to justice or revenge… they seemed interchangeable now. What did I have to live for now? I still had my music, but Christine was my music. She was my muse, and for the last few years, she and music had gone hand in hand in my mind. How was I to separate the two?

Another day passed.

Another day of agony…

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We Lost Them- Steve Rogers x Reader One Shot

Summary: (Y/N) and Steve have been married for a couple of years and have finally decided to take the next big step; having their first child. Everyone is supportive, knowing that it’s going to be a little hard because the father is Captain America for God’s sake. But not everything is so perfect.

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (platonic), Sam Wilson x Reader (platonic), mentions of the other Avengers x reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: Miscarriage, sad, arguing, Tony but if swearing, only some fluff

My hand subconsciously rubbed my baby bump, a feeling of not still spreading through me. I had always wanted children, a family of my own. So many people had told me that being pregnant was a wonderful experience, despite the obvious pain at the end of it all. I totally agreed with them.

Steve and I had been married for three years. It had been tough seeing as he was an Avenger; I was constantly worried about him, fearing that he wouldn’t come home one day. But I knew I couldn’t think like that, how could you live a life like that? We shared so many wonderful memories together along with my second family, the other Avengers. When we finally decided to have a baby and were successful we received nothing but support and happiness from the others.

I was alone in the Avengers Tower, the others had gone on the mission but should have been back that night or possibly the next morning. Steve and I had our own place in Brooklyn but Tony insisted that we move into the tower whilst I was pregnant; Steve would have to go missions at times and he wanted me to be safe. I understood, thinking it was a good idea myself. At first Steve thought that it would be too claustrophobic, however t was totally the opposite. Having the baby’s aunties and uncles sound me Just brought more happiness.

I decided that it was time to finally get up. Although I was almost three months along I was already getting tired easily. It was a small bump but still a sign of life inside me. Forcing myself to stand, I felt a wetness between my legs. Had I wet myself in the night? Looking down at my sweatpants, my eyes widened at the realisation of what had happened.


There was blood everywhere.


I let out the most blood curdling scream I had ever heard in my life. This could not be happening. This had to be a nightmare! I felt frozen, I didn’t want to move. A series of urgent knocks sounded at my door but I couldn’t answer. My eyes bore into the red source spread all over my crotch and legs.

“(Y/N)?! Can I come in? Why are you screaming?” I heard Sam’s voice. Wasn’t he on the mission?

He waited a couple more seconds before barging into the room. I didn’t even blink as he ran up to me. I couldn’t breathe, tears were running down my cheeks but no more noise was coming out of me.

“Oh shit.” he whispered to himself.

“S-Sam…” I mumbled.

“Come on, we have to get you to the hospital ward.”


Sam helped me to my feet, holding me close to him. He alerted FRIDAY, instructing her to have the hospital staff ready for me. My steps were slow and small, I felt that every time I moved it would harm the baby even more. Was there when a baby left? Everything seemed rushed, I hadn’t even realised that we were in the hospital ward now. Nothing was processing in my mind, I couldn’t hear anything.

Sam held my hand throughout. He had become a close friend of mine and like a brother. He was always there for me, especially when Steve wasn’t.

“Why?” I blurted out as the doctor was trying to explain what was going to happen.

“I’m sorry Mrs Rogers, ‘why’ what?” The doctor questioned me.

“Why did this happen?”

“There isn’t always a reason, it just sometimes happens.”

“But why me?” I was starting to cry again.

“Again Mrs Rogers, there is no clear reason. One thing we do know is that it was not your fault, don’t ever blame yourself for this.”

After the appointment with the doctors and getting rid of the miscarriage, Sam just held me. I had only been able to get changed but after that I couldn’t bring myself to move. My loud wails of pain were echoing throughout the ward, tears soaking Sam’s shoulder. His arms were tightly wrapped around me and they never loosened.

“I came as fast as I could.” I heard Bucky come into the room.

“Bucky, what are you doing here?” I sobbed, pulling away from Sam.

He sat on the bed as well, holding my hands.“I was at training at headquarters when Sam called me. I had to come.”

“I just don’t understand.” my voice was croaky.“What did I do wrong? Did I do something to desrve this?”

“Of course you didn’t. These things happen but you just don’t think about them, who would?” Sam added.

“What about Steve?” I gasped. He was going to be so upset. Would he be mad at me?!

“They aren’t going to be back until tomorrow morning now. Do you think you can wait till then?”

“Let’s not get into that yet.” Bucky stopped us.“You need to rest, it’s been a long morning. Do you want some time alone?”

“Could you please stay? Or at least one of you? Just till I fall asleep.”

They both agreed to stay. Both of them sat in a chair either side of the hospital bed, patiently waiting for me to fall asleep. It was a horrible task. My arms wrapped around my stomach already missing the feeling of my baby. Steve and I were good people, we hadn’t done anything wrong. What if it was me? What if I couldn’t have children? My dreams of a family would be crushed.

I didn’t dream. Maybe it was a good thing, there was nothing reminding me of reality in that moment. When I woke I had hoped that it was all a horrible nightmare and I would be waking up with my baby still growing inside me. However I knew that it couldn’t be. As soon as my eyes opened I started to sob loudly again. Bucky and Sam jolted from their own naps, returning to my side to comfort me. It had been three hours meaning it was late afternoon. It was still so long until the others got back.

“I need him.” I wept.

Bucky started to think of ideas.“Maybe we could try to get him back-”

“We don’t know where they are right now.” Sam interrupted.“They may not even be able to take a simple phone call.”

I buried my face in my hands.“It hurts so bad. I literally feel like I’ve undergone a major operation to take my previous baby away from me.”

“Do you need a doctor? I’ll go get one!”

“No Bucky, my emotional ache has turned into a physical one. Ice never felt like this.”

“It’s a big loss, especially since it’s your first. But once Steve is back, he’ll be right by your side and so will the others.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*


I hadn’t slept all night and it showed. The hospital let me go seeing as I was in the same building and FRIDAY could keep an eye on my vitals. Sam and Bucky were hesitant to leave me but I needed time by myself. It was now physically impossible for me to shed anymore tears, it had made me exhausted along with everything else that had happened today.

Steve was going to be so angry. What if he didn’t want to be with me anymore? What if he wanted someone to provide a child for him? All I needed to do was carry and protect this child growing inside me and I fucked up. But where had I gone wrong? It infuriated me, there was nothing I did wrong! It was still my fault though.

Seeing as there was no point going to sleep now, I got dressed into something a little more presentable. I still looked a mess. FRIDAY informed me that the team would be back in an hour; that was an hour for me to workout how I would tell Steve. I contemplated my words over the small breakfast I made, still not knowing what to say. I was emotionless. How the hell could I drop this bombshell on the man I love?

Standing on the landing bay, I felt Bucky and Sam come up behind me. They had been such good friends in the last couple of hours, I knew they weren’t fond of each other, but coming together for me was one of the reasons I loved them. Taking a deep breath, I watched as the jet landed, the door opening as soon as it hit the ground. Steve was first off, eager to see me. As soon as he dashed off I saw his smile and it crushed me.

I collapsed to my knees, hunching over as I started to cry. Bucky and Sam fell next to me though I could feel the familiar hands of my husband trying to pull me up. When that didn’t work he joined me on the floor.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N) what’s wrong?” he panicked.

“I LOST THEM! THEY’RE GONE BECAUSE OF ME!” I screamed. I could feel the rest of the team surrounding me.

“Who? What are you on about?”

I finally looked up at him through blurry eyes.“Our baby! I-I woke up and there w-was blood everywhere and-”

Judging by the look on Steve’s face I figured he knew what happened. He easily lifted me into my feet, taking me inside. I guessed that he wanted to be away from the team who respectfully stayed out of it. We made it all the way to our room in complete silence, except from the occasional sniffle from me. Steve locked the door, leaning back on it as he let out a shaky breath.

“Our baby….”

I couldn’t stand to see him broken.“I’m so sorry Steve. I understand if you hate me.”

His eyes widened as he marced over to me.“Don’t you ever think like that! It’s not your fault. I love you as much as I did when I first saw you, that will never change.”

He pulled me into his chest, embracing me with his huge arms.

“I….I can’t believe they’re gone though.”

“I just want to have a family with you, is that too much to ask!?”

“Shh, of course it isn’t.” he started to stroke my hair.“This will just make us more determined.”

“What if I can’t have children?”

“Have you seen a doctor?”

“Sam rushed me down to the hospital yesterday morning.”

“Did they mention anything about that?”

“No. I didn’t really ask.”

His voice was starting to get shaky and I could feel his tears dropping into the top of my head.“Then we’ll make an appointment and get us both checked. We are having a child (Y/N) and we’ll be the best parents there could ever be!”

He sounded so broken yet so confident.“I love you Steve. I promise that I’ll have our child.”

“I love you too. And I know that you’ll love up to that promise.”

12 Hours

12:17PM
Ring Ring.
“Hey Josh, what’s up?” I asked when I picked up my phone.

“Alex. I-I have to tell you something,” Josh said with a shaky voice.
There was a slight pause and then he continued. “You’re not going to like it.”
He sounded like he wanted to cry. 


“What is it? Just tell me. You’re making me worry.”
Anxiety began to flow through my body into my brain, making me think of the worst of thoughts.
What could he possibly need to tell me?

“It’s Vance. He’s… He’s dead.”


I gasped for air.
My legs instantly began to quiver.
My heart ached.
My body felt numb.
My hands started to shake.
I almost dropped my phone.
As tears fell down my face, I asked, “W-what do you mean he’s dead? What happened to him?!”


“I just found out a few minutes ago. He passed away yesterday in a car accident. He was racing someone on the highway. He lost control and hit a pole; killing him instantly.”
Josh let out a long deep sigh.
“His funeral is today at 5:00PM at Memorial Funeral Home. I thought you should know.”


“This is horrible. I can’t believe this is true. I don’t even know what to say. Thanks for letting me know Josh. I will talk to you later.”
I hung up the phone and wept for hours.


5:03PM
I drove into the funeral home parking lot a little late.
I was still crying.
I bet my face looked like shit.
Vance’s family and friends were there.
They were waiting outside for more people to show up.
They were greeting everyone they know.
I didn’t recognize anyone but his parents and his now ex-girlfriend.
I didn’t know much of his family because he was too ashamed to introduce me to anyone.
I didn’t exist to them.
He didn’t want anyone to think he was gay just for having a gay best friend.
Little did they know that he and I had history.

I cleaned myself up and waited for Vance’s parents to walk inside.
I didn’t want them to see me.
Once they did, I got out of my car.
The ex-girlfriend saw me sneaking up to the entrance.
She strutted toward me with an angry and sad look.
Her eyes were glossy and her nose was red.
With a hoarse voice she said, “What in hell are you doing here and who invited you?!”


In awe, I replied, “Nobody. I just want to see him one last time.”
I couldn’t look at her.


“No. I’m sorry. You have to leave.” She demanded.
“Nobody wants you here if you weren’t invited.”


“I wasn’t invited because nobody knows who I am!”I shouted as tears came back to flood my eyes.
“He kept me a secret from everybody else, but you! You of all people should know how much I loved him. And hell, we both know I would’ve treated him a lot better than you did.”


“Get the hell out of here before I cause a scene. You should be happy that his parents didn’t see you. God only knows what they would’ve done if they found out you were part of his life. Please, go. Stop embarrassing yourself.”


I clenched my fist to hold in my anger.
I bit my tongue to hold back my words.
I sobbed and ran back to my car.
Drove to no certain destination for hours.

12:17AM
I had to sneak into my house so my parents wouldn’t wake up.
I didn’t want to explain my puffy eyes and pale skin.
I walked into my room and yelled into my pillow.
I can’t believe he’s really gone.
He and I were supposed to be together forever.
I know he didn’t choose me now, but I was willing to wait for him until he was ready to be with a boy.
I can’t live without him.
He gave me reasons to wake up every morning.
Now, there’s no reason to live anymore.
Maybe we weren’t meant to be in this lifetime. 



I got up from my bed and walked into my closet.
I grabbed an old shoe box where I stored random things I collected over the years.
I tossed around old video games, lanyards, cards, and buttons until I found what I needed; a sharp razor that I hadn’t used in fifteen years.
I then turned to the nightstand to find my journal and a pen.
I took the three items to the bathroom and contemplated over life and death.