then do so

dan vs phil golf with friends: a summary

platonic biffles wear matchy matchy golf hats

tiger lester

phil admires dan’s ball skills (“that was sexy wasn’t it”)

dan has powerful balls

phil has fondness for odd numbers

phil has blown a ball before

“big boy golf”

dan has a kink of people carrying his things

phil likes to “plan a whack”

the return of ‘we don’t have any other friends’

stalker butterfly

dan bites his tongue swear wise

“channel your inner golf”

phil’s sound effects are truly underrated

dan’s sarcastic applause

dan broke his swearing filter with wank and shit

“that was neat”

“phil you need to stop saying hole in one”

“i guess god hates you” (actually dan think back to the pokemon go vid u hypocrite)

britney spears parody

“that mole would get twatted into the floor”

“call me king of life”

i just realised phil looks like a sailor with his hat and i feel warm

dan bounces off course again and again

phil lester said spank we must alert the church elders

“team phil”

dan thought he’d got the hang of the hole but failed and went backwards

totally non-competitive bants

“don’t even look at me”

dan’s little laugh when he wins a hole

“hole thirteen, unlucky for some but not for philly” phil validates my birth date i’m counting it as a notice

phil’s motivational speech

“katniss is going to come and attack you”

dan tried to fuck up phil’s chances but it backfired

“phil that’s not straight”

“oh no phil, what a floppy ding dong”

dan’s eagle impression

“stop stroking my ball” - dan howell 2k17

“go log power”

“watch me perfectly bounce this up the crack”

“you were so far from the crack”

“you’re so silly!”

the obligatory ribena sip

“wank wank fuck shit”

“ooh, who’s your golf dad”

“i’m going to throw myself out the window”

“the game gets quit”

dan hacked the game and succeeded when he should’ve failed

“you can do it phil, i believe in you”

dan sings when he tastes victory

cocky baby blows raspberry at tolerant biffle

squishy dan face skin

“get the board hoe”

“what’s next, lester family trivia? i bet you’d lose that somehow”

good game sportsmanship handshake can’t wait for the handshake fic

“let’s go have a beer and talk about politics”

“see you on the green, crazies”

danisnotacaddylad

AmazingPutt

general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

5

The ocean chose you for a reason

anonymous asked:

What do you think about JK saying that he considers himself and Jiminie to be at the same age??? I feel kinda emotional

it’s really meaningful indeed , him thinking of jimin as someone who’s the same age as him . because as it has already been pointed out by satellite-jeon jungkook’s behaviour is very different when he’s with jimin from when he’s with the other members , around jimin he tries to be more mature , acts a little bit tough (the tsundere image thing) , i think kookminwolrd pointed this out too in one of their videos .

like that time jimin was reacting to jungkook’s celebrity bromance video , where he went out to eat meat with minwoo and jungkook was like :” i can’t grill it myself” , and jin said : “when he’s with us , we always cook it for him” and jimin said that jungkook tried cooking it for him when they went out one time , see? he never cooks it when he’s with the other hyungs but when it’s jimin he tries to do it for him  .idk how to say this but he tries to be  reliable for jimin you know ? he wants him to be able to rely on him, that’s the difference of his behaviour when it comes to jimin , for the other members he acts cute and childish but with jimin it’s different, he wants him to see him as a grown man ,just like he doesn’t see jimin as an older guy but as someone who’s the same age as him. 

he even uses banmal language (informal) with him sometimes , and jimin has grown a little used to it by now i think . like that time right before jimin’s performance with taemin , when jungkook shouted : “jimin-ah!”….nothing playful about that!!!!  he was casually calling him jimin-ah , knowing jimin’d be okay  with him using informal language with him .. okay i’m gonna stop right now cuz this is really getting out of hand sorry for the long reply that you didn’t ask for

5

I’ve updated my commissions info for the 2017 year, as well as changed pricing. They’re still open! (My previous commissions post was my first attempt, and at the time I didn’t realise how time-consuming commissions can be.)

Note: If you’ve already emailed me before this post, you still get to keep the previous commission prices. Otherwise these are the new and updated pricing. 

Heads up to my fellow autistic ppl to block tumblr user: atheistic-aesthetica

This person has been saying some pretty nasty and ableist stuff in the #actuallyautistic tag. 

Do not bother engaging/trying to argue with them they are a minor (14) and are most likely a troll. Don’t engage and definitely dont harass them or send hate - just block them. They really aren’t worth the effort.

  • They persistently use the r-word; ‘r*tard’ and their response to people asking and telling them to stop is to only use it more. 
  • They have called self-diagnosed autistic people fakes and insist that self-diagnosed people are doing it to seem “cute/quirky” and to look special. 
  • On top of this they believe that any autistic person that has more than one special interest is not actually autistic and is faking it.
  • They believe that autistic people that say they enjoy stimming or who portray their stimming as something good are not really autistic and are faking it. 
  • Basically they just seem to think that autistic people cannot and should not ever be proud of or enjoy being autistic or have any positive feelings about being autistic. 
  • They find it funny that other autistic people are getting upset and angered by their post - calling the upset/angry responses them “getting triggered” and finding that hilarious. 
  • Calls people who get upset about the r-word “sensitive pussies”

Yes they seem to have a truck load of internalised ableism to work through and I hope they are able to work through it someday but that does not excuse their bullying tactics.

EDIT: They are also enbyphobic/exorsexist and transphobic in general. 

atheistic-aesthetica is very hateful and a bully. They are also a troll and a minor. 
Do not engage. Do not harass/send hate (this is never acceptable). Just block their url and move on.  

Archive Moodboards

So I recently reached 2.5k followers (what. how. i love all of you so much 💜) and I thought I’d show my appreciation by doing some archive moodboards! 

Rules:

  • must be following me
  • reblog this post 
  • send me an ask with your favorite quote

I’ll try and do all of them over the next few days (assuming this doesn’t flop horribly), and I should be able to do everyone’s! 

                                      ❝ 𝔈ʟɢᴀʀᴀ ᴠᴀʟʟᴀs, ᴅᴀ'ʟᴇɴ,
                                             ᴍᴇʟᴀᴠᴀ sᴏᴍɴɪᴀʀ.
                                          𝔐ᴀʟᴀ ᴛᴀʀᴇɴ ᴀʀᴀᴠᴀs,
                                           ᴀʀᴀ ᴍᴀ'ᴅᴇsᴇɴ ᴍᴇʟᴀʀ.

The Adrien Diaries...

24 Feb 2017

I…I don’t understand what is happening. I came to class, prepared for whatever fate awaited me.

Keep reading