“Have the Maester ready a raven please Lady Brienne” Sansa let out a small sigh. “It is time to inform his Grace of my condition”.

“Your condition my Lady”? Brienne asked tentatively.

Sansa smiled softly at her sworn sword. “I have been off my food and retching every morning for moons now Brienne” she placed a hand upon her slightly swollen belly, her lips quirked into a smile as she looked down at her growing body. “I do believe you know what it is I speak of”. 

Brienne returned her Lady’s smile. She had known - she had known for some time. “I shall have the raven readied for Dragonstone my Lady” Brienne said, turning to leave before changing her mind and taking a step forward. She opened her mouth as if to speak, only to close it again before any words escaped her. “Sansa?…the father?…I made a promise to your brother to keep you safe…if someone has forced themse-”. 

“Jon will know who the father is” Sansa interrupted, her smile melting away from her face as she stroked her stomach and stared at nothing at all. “He’ll deal with it when he returns”.

B.A.P As Fathers


  • protective af (especially if he had daughters holy)
  • would be unable to resist the wishes of his kids
  • he’d love playing with his children
  • his children would bring out the inner child in him
  • he’d always be smiling when they were around
  • never push his children to pursue a career or profession that they didn’t want
  • would always encourage the dreams of his children
  • he’d correct his children when they did wrong
  • if he was away on tour, he’d facetime his wife and the children whenever he could
  • whenever he had a stressful or tiring day, his kids would be able to effortlessly cheer him up (like just the mere sight of them would bring a smile to his face)

Originally posted by cancercornastrology


  • he’d turn his smols into little fashionistas omg
  • he’d buy them clothes from differrent countries he visited while on tour
  • teach his smols the way of the Janggu
  • he’d be very accepting of his children’s flaws and would teach them to see the good in them
  • sing lullabies to them every night
  • he’d love playing dress up for them
  • he’d pretend to be their knight and would join in on any of the games they were playing
  • i feel as if himchan had daughters, he would love to do their hair for them 
  • would love taking them to play dates
  • would always ask for a kiss before they went to school

Originally posted by ajnssn


  • very understanding of mistakes his children make
  • the type to read bedtime stories to his children
  • he would love playing with them
  • sing to them whenever they had nightmares
  • the type that goes along with the whole “monsters under the bed thing” and turns into their childrens hero
  • would find his children’s antics very amusing
  • would love to play with them (like if his daughter(s) was playing with dolls he’d ask if he could join in)
  • would constantly call his daughter “his princess” and his son “his little warrior”
  • whenever his children got even the littlest bit injured from playing he’d be so worried 
  • he would let his children put makeup on him and play with his hair

Originally posted by abigayle12000


  • very nurturing
  • take a lot of pictures of them
  • the type to literally film anything and everything they do and ask you to do it for him if he had to go away on tour
  • he’s be proud af of his kids
  • he’d love to tickle them omg
  • he would kiss his kids head and tuck them in every night
  • he would hang his kids drawing on the walls and even frame some of his favorite ones
  • he’d feed them a lot so they’d be strong and healthy
  • he’s the type to cry on his kid(s) first day of shcool bc he’d be attached
  • he’d always encourage them to do and tryt heir best in everything they do

Originally posted by abigayle12000


  • he’d be the quiet protective type of dad while at the same time being very laidback
  • he’d express his love for his children a lot through actions rather than words
  • he’d save the “I love you”s and the “I’m proud of you”s for special occasions so that they carried more meaning to them
  • introduce his children to the world of manga
  • i can see him buying his children pokemon costumes for halloween lol
  • teach them how to dance if that’s something they wanted
  • he’d be so supportive of everything they did
  • he’d make sure to show up to every school play/performance his child was in and would continue clapping even after all the other parents had stopped
  • he wouldn’t show much physcial affection but he’d lowkey love it when his children hugged him or clung to him
  • His kids would think he was so cool bc of how he let them do stuff as long as they stayed safe

Originally posted by lilium


  • very playful (he’d be the most playful out of all the members)
  • push for his children to learn other languages
  • he’d tease his children a lot
  • bring his children souvenirs from the different countries he’s visited while on tour
  • make funny faces to get them to laugh
  • take a lot of pictures of them
  • would always dance with his kids and try to teach them to rap and skateboard
  • i can also see him being a very active dad and taking his children on a lot of adventures
  • always lift them on to his shoulders and give them piggy back rides
  • he’d always lift them up and marvel at them in awe, amazed that they were his

Originally posted by littlepawz


Thank you to the anon who suggested this! THIS NEARLY KILLED US WITH FEELS!! We wilI most likely also make one of these for BIGBANG and BTS some time in the future!!!

~Admin K-(hope) + Coffee


Carlo Bossoli (1815–84, Italy)

Landscapes 2: Great Britain and France

Bossoli was a Swiss-born Italian painter and lithographer, who spent his early career in Ukraine. He is best known for his landscapes, vedute, historical scenes from the Risorgimento, as well as his depictions of eastern Europe.

Nalu Soccer Au: Red Card

Here I go again with another multi chapter story. I won’t post it on fanfiction until some other time

Well I know this isn’t smart of me to start yet another story but @illustraice inspired me to make a Nalu soccer au and well I started typing away lol. I really hope you like it! This was made in a 3 hr car ride in the trunk of my own car with my phone so excuse typos *sigh*

Story name: Red Card
Rating: T for now for colorful cursing, suggestive themes, kissing, etc.
Pairing(s): Nalu with a side of Sting x Yukino, Gajeevy, Gruvia, and Jerza
Summary: Lucy had always been a hard core soccer fan despite her girlish appearance. Her idol, Fairy Tail’s number 14 and forward, Natsu Dragneel. When by chance she’s gifted tickets for a meet and greet of her favorite team, she excitedly sets off only to unknowingly bump into a disguised Natsu who was on the run from his fans. What could this encounter unfold? Nalu

Setting the Net

Full on concentration. A complete and calculated concentration. Swift movement of feet and disheveled grass thrown aside by the quick and very sudden movements. The ball kicked with such grace as it soars and rolls to its next caretaker until it finally, with a piercing blow, is sent past the white line known as the edge of the net. The greatest excitement and disappointment all in one go. Cheers from those who saw the glorious entrance of the ball while the others yelled a string of curses or slapped their hands on their face knowing that was a point for the team not of their own. Soccer, a sport of passion.

“Yes! Gooool!” A blonde squealed prancing around the room with her arms flailing about her face contorted in joy and her chocolate brown eyes glowed. “Uh, L-Lucy, you really do love soccer, huh?” A silver haired girl with brown eyes smiled nervously from the couch as she saw her friend go crazy around their apartment living room. The blonde turned to her roommate as a blush spread at her cheeks.

She scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “Sorry, Yukino. It’s just I’ve loved soccer since forever. It’s so exciting! It’s such a rush even when you yourself aren’t playing.” Lucy breathed dreamily as she went to slouch on the couch. The silver head could only examine her. Her blonde locks in a high pony tail. The meticulously applied make up on her face in addition to the perfect manicured nails. The pale pink dress at her thighs and even the nude heels. The epitome of girlish. At that Yukino let out a snort of amusement, startling the blonde.

“W-What?” Lucy questioned as she saw the woman beside her begin to laugh to herself. “S-Sorry! It’s just…your looks…totally contradict your hobbies and interests”, Yukino apologized while still chuckling in between her explanation. The blonde shrugged thinking about it herself as she allowed herself to giggle at the truancy of the words. “You’re right, which is why I can’t date a guy unless I cab talk to him about soccer”, she joked lightly.

Another fit of giggles and Lucy was yet again entranced with the game going on the tv. No one, but Yukino knew at the university about Lucy’s infatuation with the sport. Not the blonde would mind them knowing, but she liked it better that way because boys would tend to kiss up to her for a date and knowing her secret would only lead to a fake ‘same’ interest on their part. Yukino blinked when she noticed Lucy’s eyes brighten up suddenly when a specific player got the ball with ease.

Yukino looked at the male player and noticed off the bat, the pink colored hair he possessed along with some beautiful emerald eyes. He wore a red jersey with a fairy insignia at the left side of his chest with the words ‘Fairy Tail’ right under. The number 14 was plastered at the back with 'Dragneel’ written above it. “Do you like him?” The silver head asked suddenly as the blonde squeaked in response. “I love him! Natsu Dragneel is just amazing. He’s Fairy Tail’s prodigy, their best forward followed by their second forward and number 11, Gray Fullbuster. What I would give to meet him”, Lucy explained with such a love struck expression on her face. Yukino let a discreet smile pass her lips as she retrieved her purse lying behind the couch.

“Hmm, is that so, the I’m sure you’d like these”, the petite girl sang as the blonde turned to her. Yukino held two tickets in her hand and waved them teasingly in front of the blonde’s face. Lucy tried looked over them and read the words “Fairy Tail meet and greet 5pm at Magnolia”. “Oh. My. God!!!” Lucy yelled as she hugged the silver head tightly.

“Where did you get those?” Lucy questioned as she looked at Yukino as if looking at a goddess. the latter only smiled knowingly. “Oh, I have my ways, and just so you know, this is today just when they’re game finishes~ So you should retouch your make up, and go or else you’ll be late”, Yukino sang as Lucy jumped up to run into her room while still squealing uncontrollably.

“Oh boy, if only she knee how I got these she’d go crazy”, the silver head smiled to herself.


No later, Lucy had run out of her apartment, purse in hand and tickets safely inside. It was 4:30 and she’d be late if she didn’t hurry up. “Dang! My make up and finding my jersey took longer than I thought”, she scolded herself. She’d put her jersey in her purse for her idol to sign and just the thought of seeing him made her heart race. So much, in fact, that she’d started running again to ensure she would definitely not be late. She crossed the street despite the crossing sign with the red standing man lighted up. Looking around for any policeman, she ran down the street.

She squeaked apologies as cars honked furiously at her reckless action as she ran towards the other side. She almost felt panic rise in her when she noticed the train bars begin to lower signaling the subway coming in the way. “Not today!”, she growled as she kicked off her heels and carried them from the straps as she ran as fast as she could. After all, a former soccer player like herself was still just as fast as she used to be as she sprinted down the street.

The bars lowered and she picked up the pace managing to go under them and running past as the subway train began to pass over. She fist pumped the air feeling a sense of victory and she leaned down to set her heels on the floor. She wiped her feet from the light dust and dirt on them and looked around making sure no one had seen her, which she doubted since the street was bustling with people and cars.

Regardless, she strapped back on her heels. She breathed relieved for a few seconds before continuing to run taking a sharp left turn and hitting straight into someone. She fell back with such a force on her bottom that she almost cried from the sting especially from the scrape at the side of her leg when she fell backwards. Out of all things, she just had to go and get herself hurt. She even figured her dress was a little dirty now.

“Shit! Oi, are you okay?! ” a male’s worried voice questioned as he looked around him as if looking out for someone. However, he looked down to her bleeding leg. “Oh, man that was a stupid question”, he huffed embarrassed as he offered to help her up. She wasn’t really angry since he was being so attentive. She took his hand and was shocked with his strength as he picked her up effortlessly. Lucy felt weird though, there she was allowing a complete AND suspicious stranger treat her to some coffee after properly treating her wound. He was wearing a red hoodie and his face was for the most part concealed. That made him even more suspicious, but he had helped her and was now in a public place with her so he would probably not be a danger

“Uh, you really didn’t have to buy me coffee”, she finally interrupted the silence between them. The way his form was positioned gave off an apologetic vibe. “I had to. I did hurt you really bad”, he motioned to her leg which now had a scab where it had healed when he had carefully cleaned it. She felt slightly guilty for making him feel unintentionally responsible.

“I mean, I was running too so it was partially my fault. Thank you, regardless”, she smiled. “Why were you in such a hurry, anyways?” he asked interested in continuing their conversation. She blushed at that trying to formulate the words to say.

“Meeting up a boyfriend?” he chuckled, but she shook her head and crossed her arms defensively. “Definitely not! Er well, I don’t really have one”, she muttered.

“No way! You’re beautiful! How does someone like you, not have a boyfriend?!” he questioned almost outraged and seemed to look away when he realized what he said. The atmosphere became awkward as she answered his previous question. “ W-Well, I was… heading off to Fairy Tail’s meet and greet”, she finally confessed as to which the stranger perked up. “You like soccer? I mean are you going to see the 'hot guys’?” he questioned.

“Well, not really, I mean the guys being hot are a plus, but had they not been handsome I’d still definitely go”, she smiled fondly as leaned on her elbows. “Why?” he followed up.

“Well, I’ve loved soccer and Fairy Tail since I was young. I remembered watching Igneel play when I was younger”, she began to explain before the latter interrupted her. “You knew Igneel?” he questioned startling her. “Yeah! He was one of the reasons I myself played soccer from middle school and high school, but then I just stopped after my father demanded I quit that nonsense and then Igneel retired”, she sighed sadly a longing beginning to show in her voice.

The stranger remained silent and Lucy almost felt he was judging her. “I’m strange, aren’t I? A girl and a girlish one at that who likes soccer. You must be bored”, she sounded apologetic. “ Not at all. I think you’re awesome! But don’t you think it’s waste of time to go to superficial meet and greets?” he questioned. She hummed in thought before giving him a wide smile.

“Of course not. For real fans like myself these events are the world. The players themselves might not realize that it means the world to them. To see the person you admire, your idol, in person, is a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to meet Natsu Dragneel. He was my idol after I first saw him play. His skill on the field is spectacular. The smooth passes, the force of his kick and those rare occasions of corner kicks as they curve beautifully is something I’ve always admired. I have hope that he’ll become the next Igneel. They do have a similar style”, she explained so animatedly.

“You really think so?” he almost muttered. “He’s amazing! Of course, he can. If he keeps playing as passionately as he always does. I believe in him”, she chuckled. “You speak so fondly of him even though you haven’t met him”, he laughed. She blushed furiously. “I k-know, but I feel he loves soccer more than anyone just like me which is why I talk like that”, she sputtered embarrassed.

The stranger just gave a hearty laugh and Lucy felt she really liked it after how reserved he had been at the beginning. “I’m Lucy by the way. Lucy Heartfilia”, she smiled. “Hey, isn’t the meet and over, Lucy?” he asked her and she looked at her iPhone’s clock. Her face immediately deflated, but then she huffed and smiled once more. “Yeah, that’s fine. I had a very enjoyable time regardless. I’m just as content watching them on tv”, she mentioned as she settled to fix her belongings.

“I could still get you to meet the team”, he casually mentioned. The blonde looked at him incredulous. “No way!” she squeaked as her grin widened. He only nodded . “Are you like someone important at the event?!” she asked excitedly as he stood as well. “Uh, you could say that”, he smirked secretively as he guided her out of the shop and down the streets.

“So how come you listened to your father and stopped playing the sport you loved?” he asked her as they walked while he dipped his hands into his jean pockets. “Well, my mother died when I was in my sophomore year of high school and I still played soccer even after that but he guilted me into quitting saying that I had to listen to him in my mother’s stead and so I stopped after I graduated”, she sighed looking straight ahead at nothing in particular.

“If you could play again, would you?” he asked as they finally crossed in front of the establishment of the event. “Many more times again and again.” He smiled lightly as he approached the guard at the door. From his pocket he pulled out a tag and without hesitance was led inside as he motioned for blonde to follow him. He led her down a series of complicated hallways holding her wrist to avoid her from getting lost before they reached a door which had big white letters with the name Fairy Tail on it.

She breathed heavily as she tried containing her excitement. He seemed to sense it as he turned to her. “Ready?” He asked teasingly. “Nope, but really nervous and excited”, she muttered as he finally opened the door. “I’m back”, he drawled really casually. “Damn you! I can’t believe you got away with it, flame brain!” a voice howled as Lucy almost felt she would faint at seeing Gray Fullbuster in front of her. He had black hair and dark blue eyes with firm features.

“Oh my god! Gray Fullbuster”, she whispered as she clutched onto the shoulders of the stranger. Gray blinked as he looked at the blonde. “No way! You brought a girl? This is the end!” Gray laughed as all the players seemed to near them in shock. Lucy felt overwhelmed as she met their 2 of their defenses Jellal and Elfman, numbers 3 and 5, respectively and two of their mid fielders, Loke and Gajeel, numbers 7 and 12, respectively. The rest of their team seemed busy getting their things together.

“Hey what’s your name?” the black haired male asked her. “L-Lucy”, she mumbled.

“Okay, idiots, chill. She’s a huge fan and you guys are scaring her”, Lucy’s companion interrupted. “Didn’t mean to. Nice to meet you, Lucy”, Gray grinned stretching out his hand to shake hers. She grinned as she shook his hand vigorously. She seemed to look around in hopes to find her idol and not finding him.

“Hey Salamander take off that ridiculous hoodie already”, Gajeel motioned annoyed. Lucy noticed that it was awfully hot to be wearing such a thing as she looked at him expectantly. He had to be some sort of manager or maybe even a friend of theirs with the way they spike so casually to him. And by Gray’s words, she was probably be the first girl or even person this man had brought with him to meet them team. She was extremely grateful to him for indulging her so.

“Haven’t properly introduced myself, huh, Lucy?” he smiled at her as she nodded in confusion. This whole time he had been nameless to her and she felt almost ashamed. He grasped the hoodie by its hem as he pulled it off with one pull. His shirt rid up a little and the blonde was shocked to see the glimpse of defined muscles. He threw the red hoodie at Gray who cursed under his breath as he shoved it to the floor. “Stupid”, he mumbled irritated. “Chill, ice princess”, he motioned with a cackle.

Lucy returned to look at her companion after he began to laugh at the black haired male and she felt herself remain speechless at the sight of a handsome face with pink spiky locks, gorgeous smile, and beautiful emerald eyes. He stretched out his hand a large grin still plastered on his face and feeling amused as her face became beet red in both embarrassment and shock. He chuckled lightly as he stretched out his hand to her.

“I really had a good time with you. I’m Natsu Dragneel by the way. Nice to meet you, Lucy.”

Welp that’s the first chapter! I hope you guys liked it. I was really excited to write this sort of au. Please do tell me what you think! And wait up for next chapter!!!

anonymous asked:

hi! how would each function flirt? like, what are the tactics of each function when it comes to flirting? thank you and i hope whatever you do today, youre doing something you love! xx

Si: looks for little ways to be helpful or indispensable to you, is probably the person you’ve friend-zoned

Ni: generally dislikes flirting, secretly tries to learn as much as possible about you, prone to stalking behaviors so you’ll feel like someone’s always watching you

Ti: not great at flirting, keenly observes your behaviors, probably makes somewhat pathetic or awkward or even weirdly aggressive attempts to impress you or get your attention

Fi: no strategy, acts erratically, does weird impulsive unpredictable things, gets giddy when you pay attention, the shy ones have a knack for magically disappearing from view when you notice them

Se: tries to impress you with their shiny qualities/skills/talents, will do fun/creative things to make you feel great about yourself

Ne: becomes weirdly and intensely fascinated with you and asks you lots of questions, they may not realize they’re flirting hard with you

Te: painstakingly constructs the perfect environment or conditions for things to… happen, awkwardly tries to “steer” you towards things happening

Fe: goes the extra mile to be warm and friendly, possibly invites you out to all the various group things, suddenly takes a lot of interest in your interests

new moderator?

so y’all, as yall kno its just been lil ole me (admin angel) runnin this blog.

recently, ive been thinkin bout it,,,,, & ive decided ill b addin my friend ember to this blog as a moderator!!!!!

they will b makin a post soon to introduce themse but just lettin yall know!!

also, there will b a change to the tagging system.

from now on, posts by me will have the tags admin rambles and admin angel.
and posts made by ember will have the tags mod rambles and mod ember.

Another tag game

Thank you to @bibliophilecats for tagging me in this!

What’s your dream job?

Writer. Nature photographer, probably, but I ADORE the job I have now and can’t imagine ever wanting to leave, so I’ll just take pictures in my spare time.

What are you talented at?

Writing and keeping people in-character for it, cheering up others (I can’t stand to see people be sad), outdoor photography

What’s your aesthetic?

Staring up at the green leaves of a huge tree, the sun glinting on the London skyscrapers and the Themse, bookshops, the sound of the ocean, long walks along the beach, a comfy sofa with lots of pillows, the sensation of burying your fingers in a dog’s fur, a hike through a forest in the autmn, skating through empty streets on warm summer nights.

What is a big goal you’re working towards?

Owning a dog and having my position with my current employer made permanent.

What’s a topic you’re always up to talk about?

Books. Reasons why Sherlock in the BBC series is gay no matter what S4 says.

What is a pet peeve of yours?

People who try to force their bigoted and prejudiced opinions on others. This goes doubly for religious views of any kind.

Good advice to give?

The only person you are going to spend 100% of your life with is yourself. Make sure you like the person you are and if you don’t, change something about yourself. All our habits are just that: habits. You can start anew every day.

Recommend three songs:

The Devotion of Sound

I’ve spoken on the use of music in witchcraft before – but I would like to expand on that which was previously covered by the use of music (and sound) in devotional works. Vibration and frequency are key components of energy and thusly, tones can mimic and explore these energies. Music, however, is particularly suited as it represents a collection of tones that evolve – often accompanied by words and lyrics that, too, expertly mimic or capture the essence these beings. As such, music is uniquely suited to devotional works.

Most faiths possess an integral musical component, for music has the ability to unite – physically, mentally and spiritually – and (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again) while traditional music is very important, that should not prevent you from new association or the use of modern music that speaks to the same part of you. Don’t cast it out, utilize it. This extends not only to deities, but spirits and creatures of all sorts – whomever/whatever you serve, chances are, there is a song/collection of songs for that.

A few possible options to the use of music in devotional works:

  • Make them a playlistthis doubles both as a means for you to connect, but also shows the spirit that you care, that you have taken the time to create something in their name, something interactive – if you write or make music, even better: Write them a song! I have a particular affinity for this one – as it can put me in the right place, and when any of the songs come on shuffle, they immediately bring the spirit to mind.
  • Dance with themnever underestimate the power of dance and coordinated movement within the Craft. As with music, dance is an extraordinarily important piece of many faiths – it can capture emotion, tell a story, and release tensions. Dance can convey your character or a message of intention to the spirit. Don’t worry if you aren’t a good dancer, they won’t judge you… (Except maybe Xango…)
  • Sing to themit can be something you’ve written or just a song you rather like. You can also sing freely – making noises or composing as you go. This method is great for capturing a moment and giving the spirit a glimpse into your state of mind. I’ve always been partial to singing to the Dead, and they seem pretty receptive (aside from the occasional crotchety spirit). It goes back to showing them appreciation. Not all gifts must be physical. So go forth and sing in the cemeteries!
  • Set a devotional poem or prose to musicthis goes along with writing them a song. It can be a poem you have written or one you have found fitting.
  • Take up (an) instrument(s) associated with them
  • Compose a rhythm that can be clapped or tapped while working or calling to them
  • Sing mantras or phrases that apply to themit doesn’t have to be a whole song to prove your devotion, smaller phrases or poems are just as efficient!
  • Search your range for the tone that matches their impression and begin workings with it

Of course, these are but a few options off of the top of my head: I’d love to hear what you guys do or other suggestions to add to the list!

Photo Source: Burundi’s ritual dance of the royal drums was last year placed on UNESCO’s Intangible Cultural Heritage list ©Carl De Souza (AFP) “ Today, the drums are played for entertainment: but for centuries they were a sacred rite, symbolic of a united kingdom […]”

Ich will um die Welt reisen. Ich will Orte sehen, die ich nur von Filmen oder Zeitschriften kenne. Ich will den Klängen fremder Sprachen lauschen, die Gerichte der traditionellen Küche kosten, zur Musik der Einheimischen tanzen. Ich will in einem kleinen französischen Bistro sitzen und dabei einen Blick auf den Eifelturm haben. Ich will durch die Themse fahren und die Londoner Sehenswürdigkeiten besichtigen. Ich will die italienischen Landschaften bestaunen und in die Sonne lächeln. Ich will bis spät Abends am Meer sitzen und den Wellen beim Brechen zusehen. Wollen wir das nicht alle? Oder zumindest fast alle? Aber wie viele von uns, werden niemals die Möglichkeit dazu haben? Viele. Zu viele. Aber hey, hör zu. Leg dich hin. Egal wo du bist, egal wo du lebst. Ob im Dschungel, in der Wüste, oder im Park. Leg dich einfach hin und schließe die Augen. Ignoriere das feuchte Gras, den staubigen Sand, oder den kalten Betonboden unter dir. Blende alles um dich herum aus. Es gibt keine herumtollende Kinder, keine hupenden Autos, keine Tiergeräusche. Es gibt nur dich. Dich und deine Fantasie. Und glaub mir, davon hast du reichlich. Du musst es nur wollen. Konzentriere dich. Hört du schon das Herz in deiner Brust schlagen? Hört du deine regelmäßigen Atemzüge? Hörst du wie alles still wird? Und jetzt, beschwöre die Bilder herauf. Wenn du keine genauen Vorstellungen hast, dann lass deiner Fantasie freien Lauf, mal dir die Bilder aus, wie sie dir gefallen. Den Eifelturm, den Big Ben, den schiefen Turm von Pisa, den South Beach von Miami. Spürst du, wie der Pariser Kaffee auf deiner Zunge zergeht, einen wundervollen Geschmack hinterlässt? Spürst du, wie der Londoner Regen auf dich herab fällt, dich bis auf die Haut durchnässt? Spürst du, wie dein Körper, nach einem Bissen der köstlichen italienischen Pasta, Glückshormone ausstößt? Spürst du, wie die Sonne, die über die Amerikanische Küste schwebt, deiner Haut Farbe verleiht? Schlendere durch die Pariser Straßen und lass deine Begleitung mit seinem französischen Charme spielen, auch wenn du kein Wort verstehst. Gönne dir einen Besuch in einem klassischen Londoner Pub und unterhalte dich mit Fremden, über Gott und die Welt. Genieße den Sonnenuntergang über der Toskana, während du mit einem Glas Champagner auf dem Balkon eines Hotelzimmers stehst. Mach einen Spaziergang durch die Strandpromenade, schau aufs Meer und lass den Wind dein Haar zerzausen. Du kannst es fühlen, du kannst es sehen, du kannst es hören, du kannst es schmecken. Du kannst es, du musst es nur wollen. Auch wenn sich all das nur in deinem Kopf abspielt und hunderte oder tausende Kilometer von dir entfernt ist – selbst der Gedanke fühlt sich wunderbar an.

 © uhrenaufstillstand 

Don’t imagine Tessa after Jem’s death. Don’t imagine her standing all in with on blackfriars bridge every year in January and remembering the great time she had together with him. Don’t imagine her crying silent tears falling in the themse because she lost both of her big loves. Don’t imagine her locking at old photos and baby sockets late at night when she can’t sleep. Don’t imagine her never finding someone to love like this ever again.

The Call of Your Soul - Chapter Four

As fast as autumn came it was gone and winter had his icy claws wrapped around London. The constant dark outside made me feel melancholic and made it hard to deal with the void in my soul. I just lived from day to day trying to not think about the future. And suddenly it was Christmas. The town sparkled in the glow of a million fairy lights, the air was filled with the scent of mince pies, mulled wine and cookies and you could hear Christmas sings being played in all the stores. Annoyed I make my way through the crowds on my way to work. I don´t feel festive at all and I´ve been avoiding everything related to Christmas. Dan is spending Christmas with his family somewhere in India, miles away from London, out of my reach and too far away for the chance of finally meeting him.

I eventually arrive at the office, greeted by the beeping sound of the door as I swipe my key card through the look. Looking at the floor I make my way through the hallways to my office. I turn on the lights and my computer, when I hear footsteps behind me. “What are you doing here?” I turn around to see my mother standing in the doorframe. “What to do mean? I´m working here.” I answer confused by here strict tone. “No, not today. It´s Christmas Eve tonight and you´re not going to spend Christmas at the office! Go visit your grandparents or something.”

“But you´re here!” I say, wanting to start an argument, but she immediately cuts me off. “I don´t count. Now go and have a festive Christmas Eve.” She´s clearly not in the mood for discussions, so I simply sigh, roll my eyes, take my bag and leave. My mom quickly presses a smooch on my cheek and goes back to her office.

I decide to follow her advice and visit my grandparents. As I step outside the cold streets of London it slowly starts to snow. Little soft snowflakes gracefully start to fall from the dark sky. I take the tube and half an hour later I arrive at my grandparent’s house. My mum obviously told them I was coming as my grandma doesn´t even ask why I suddenly drop by. The next hours go by painfully slowly. I feel restless and just stare out of the window as it snows heavier and big snowflakes cover the streets in a white coat. I thought I was getting better, that I had everything under control; but I feel more miserable than ever. I´m back to feeling the emptiness in my soul. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on knees, focusing on my breathing and try to fight down the tears watering my eyes.

“What´s going on?” the soft voice of my grandma interrupts my thoughts and brings me into the moment. “Nothing, everything is fine.” I answer and the words sound weak even in my own ears. “Darling, I´m not stupid. You´re thoughts are running wilder than the stormy sea.” She caught me off guard I just don´t know what to say. I stare down at my hands, fumbling my fingers. “I´m sorry, I didn´t want to ruin the festivity.” I murmur.

“Don´t be sorry, my dear. Maybe it´ll help to talk about what´s bothering you?” she says, putting her hand on my arm. “I can´t talk about it.” I say shaking my head. A deep sadness floods my body and adds to the constant pain in my soul. “Well, than I can give you only one advice. If your minds restless, than go.”


“Yes, just go. Walk right outside the door and walk until you feel better and maybe you´ll end up just where you need to be tonight. And don´t worry about your mum, I won´t tell her you spend Christmas alone wandering through the streets of London.”

She seems to be serious and I don´t see why I shouldn’t at least try it, so I grab my coat and bag and say goodbye to my grandparents. And then I just walk, not thinking about going left or right, I just aimlessly wander through the streets. The snow under my feet turns to disgusting brown slush. I eventually find myself on Westminster Bridge and the Big Ben strikes 8pm. I stop and start watching the dark water of the Themse flowing under the bridge while big snowflakes melt as soon as they touch the icy water. As they dissolve into the black void of an endless stream running into an infinity ocean. As they are torn apart by the flow of the river. And I feel just the same, torn apart, restless travelling down the stream of my life in a black emptiness. I never would´ve thought my life would have come down to this. Standing on a bridge full of pain with a soul that screams for its other half without being heard.

My thoughts are interrupted by a dark shadow looming above me. I recognize the outlines of an umbrella that´s being held above my head. “I´m sorry, but are you ok?” A wild shiver runs through my body causing me to get goose bumps. Suddenly it feels like something is exploding the core of my soul. I feel the adrenaline kicking in, sharpening my senses and suddenly everything around me seems incredibly intense. I don´t need to turn around to know who this velvety voice belongs to. The warm smooth tone of the voice fills my head. I turn around and look at the face I´ve seen so many times through screen and that one terrible time at the hospital. I recognize his beautiful pale complexion that looks very healthy compared to the time I saw him in the hospital. His eyes spark in the warm yellow light of the street lanterns, giving them a fiery amber glow, even though his face lies in shadow.  

“I´m sorry, that was pretty invasive, considering I don´t even know you.” He adds as I still haven´t said anything. His words but a smile on my face and I can feel that I´m definitely blushing. “No, don´t worry! That was very considerate of you. I guess I just have a little Christmas Blues.” I say giving him a bright encouraging smile.

“I understand that very well. I never spend Christmas alone before. I was supposed to spend Christmas with my family on a hot exotic beach in India, but I kind of couldn´t go and decided to stay last minute. Like something was calling for me to be here – Why am I telling you this?” Dan rambles, still looking into my eyes and holding the umbrella above my head, while snow is slowly sinking to the ground around us. I laugh at his words but can only imagine how confusing this must be for him. Meeting a complete stranger and suddenly feeling your soul vibrating and resonating with the vibrations of another soul. “I have no idea.” I giggle “But I´m glad I have met you tonight.” I add with a smile. Dan gives me his famous side smirk, revealing his dimples. He rubs his neck with his free hand obviously unsure what to say next. “Well – I’m on my way to a restaurant.” He says embarrassed.

I feel the happiness drowning from my body within a second. What if he leaves right now and just forgets that he met me? What if he couldn´t feel what I feel and everything was just a big stupid mistake? I try to keep a straight face to not show how disappointed I am. A second ago it seemed like my happy end was right there, my chance to finally be with my soulmate and finally fill that void in my soul that was consuming me like a black hole since the events at the hospital.

“They serve a traditional Christmas dinner for those who can´t cook or are alone on Christmas Eve. And you seem a little lonely too. Do you want to be plus one for my Christmas Eve feast?” His voice is soft but he´s seemingly embarrassed. I just silently stare at him, surprised he´s actually inviting me to spend the evening with him.

“I´m sorry, I don´t know why I asked that. That was really creepy, we just met. Oh god, that was so embarrassing. I don´t normally do this.” Dan starts to stutter and looks down at his feet. “I don´t think it´s creepy. I would love to be your plus one for tonight.” I interrupt him and give him a bright smile. He smiles back and looks very relieved. “I seriously have no idea what I´m doing. This doesn´t look like me.” Dan adds and I can tell that he is really struggling with his feelings. I softly put my hand on his arm. “Let´s just call it fate we met and enjoy the rest of the night. After all no one should spend Christmas alone.” I say calmly. Dan smiles at my words and I know I convinced him. He nods and points down the road. “This way my lady.” He says jokingly and offers me his arm. Only too happily I take it and follow him down the road.

We spent the evening at the restaurant, laughing and talking about our lives. I feel bad for lying about my job, but I can´t tell Dan about the halfgod things, so I just tell him I have an office job which is technically not too far from the truth. And a few times I almost slip information I shouldn´t have. I feel terrible for lying to Dan, but I waited almost 5 years for this moment, so I decide to drop the guilty feeling and enjoy his evening. At 2am they very politely tell us that the restaurant is closing. “I didn´t even notice how fast time went.” Dan says as we step outside the restaurant. “Me neither. It was a really nice evening.” I answer, sad that this evening is ending way too quickly. “I kind of don´t want to go home just yet. How about a night walk along the Themse?” Dan suggest in a hopeful tone. I don´t bother to answer and just take his arm.

The rest of the night is magical. We talk a walk under the stars along the Themse and Dan walks me home. We struggle to say goodbye, both knowing that this night is special. Suddenly Dan kisses me. His lips feel warm and soft. He gently breaks away and looks into my eyes. “I don´t know what happened today, all I know is that earlier on that bridge I felt like your soul was calling for me and I never felt connected the way I feel connected to you.”

68 Years later

Dying is silent. Dying is quick. And dying is easy. I spent 68 years with Dan by my side. A life filled with love and happiness with my soulmate. We moved in together, we got married and had two beautiful children. But dying was the real happy end. Dan and I were old and one night we both just let go and our separated souls finally became one, connected for eternity.


Rückblick London Teil 1

Fotostrecke & Anreise

So, bevor es jetzt wieder in den neue Saison geht, nochmal einen Rückblick auf die Londontour. Los ging es am Silvestermorgen nach Fuhlsbüttel, von dort aus weiter nach Gatwick. Das ganze war recht preiswert, für knapp 100 EUR ging es mit EasyJet nach London und zurück. In London Gatwick ging es dann für 10£ pro Nase Richtung Victoria, wo wir in die U-Bahn umsteigen mussten. Dazwischen lagen aber noch einige Komplikationen: In Fuhlsbüttel sagte man mir, bevor ich zum Gate kam, dass mein Ausweis als gestohlen gemeldet ist und fragte mich, was ich dazu beitragen könnte. Ich musste erst einen Augenblick überlegen, ehe ich wusste, was der Zöllner von mir wollte. 2013 hatte ich mein Portemonnaie verloren und den Ausweis in Hamburg als verloren gemeldet. Das Dokument wurde in Schleswig-Holstein ausgestellt, meinen Erstwohnsitz habe ich mittlerweile aber in Niedersachsen. Nachdem ich das Portemonnaie wiederbekommen habe, habe ich 100 Behörden gemeldet, dass alles wieder da ist, offenbar aber nicht den richtigen Behörden. Denn aus der europaweiten Fahndung wurde das gute Ding anscheinend nicht genommen. Ich durfte mich nun für diesen Beamten-Murks erklären. Dass es Probleme geben könnte, habe ich überhaupt nicht erwartet, da mir weder bei Verkehrskontrollen, noch bei Personenkontrollen rund ums Stadion je mitgeteilt wurde, dass es Probleme mit dem Ausweis gibt. Auch die Tour nach Prag (siehe weiter unten) war kein Problem. Irgendwie ließ sich der Flughafenbeamte dann doch überzeugen und ließ mich durch. Die Zeit verging wie im Fluge (höhö), in Gatwick angekommen, dann das gleiche Spiel nochmal. Die Beamtin fing hektisch an, zu telefonieren und guckte mich böse an. Die Umstehenden fingen an zu glotzen und die Ohren zu spitzen, als mir die Beamtin mitteilte, dass ich mitkommen müsse, was ich im Vereinten Königreich wolle, usw. Bevor ich antworten konnte, schickte sie mich in einen Wertebereich, der mit 1.60m hohem, dicken Sicherheitsglas umzäunt war und zudem von Beamten bewacht wurde. Diesem Käfig, direkt neben den Warteschlangen der ankommenden Fluggäste, fehlte nur noch die Aufschrift “Bitte nicht füttern”. Nach 30 Minuten kam die Beamtin dann wieder und erklärte mir mit wichtiger Geste, dass ich großzügigerweise doch einreisen darf. Super, God Save The Queen und so. Endlich durch die Passkontrollen durch, suchten wir unser Gepäck, was abseits der Bänder in einer Ecke lag. Hätte mich nicht gewundert, wenn das einen Bombenalarm ausgelöst und mir in Rechnung gestellt worden wäre. Insgesamt kostete uns diese Prozedur über eine Stunde, sodass wir dann froh waren, als wir in den Shuttlebus Richtung Victoria Station besteigen konnten. Die Tickets für die Busse, welche im 30-Minuten-Takt fahren, kann man bequem vor Ort ziehen, auch wenn es die im Internet eine Spur günstiger (7£) gegeben hätte. In Victoria angekommen braucht man dann noch circa 10 Minuten zu Fuß zur gleichnamigen Bahnstation, von wo aus es dann nach Clapham South ging. Vorher haben wir noch “schnell” eine Oyster Card gegen 5£ Pfand gekauft. Diese Plastikkarte, ermöglicht das bargeldlose Fahren im Underground. Statt lange Schlange zu stehen, checkt man mit der Karte beim Reingehen in eine Station ein und beim Verlassen checkt man so auch wieder aus. Man hat die Kosten nicht ganz im Blick und man muss regelmäßig aufladen, jedoch ist eine Fahrt mit einer solchen Karte günstiger und man steht weniger an Automaten an. Wäre auch sicherlich auch ne gute Alternative in Deutschland, lieber HVV! In Clapham South, südlich vom Stadtzentrum lag unsere Unterkunft, in Form einer internationalen Studenten-WG, die neben ihren 5 Bewohnern noch 8 Gäste aus Deutschland und Österreich als Schlafplatz diente. Die Hütte war ganz hübsch, sah so ein bisschen aus wie bei Harry Potter, war aber für meine Maßstäbe unbezahlbar: Die 5 Bewohner, fast alle am Arbeiten, mussten über 5'000£ pro Monat Miete hinlegen, das ist schon eine Ansage. Dort angekommen und das Gepäck abgelegt, ging es dann wieder Richtung U-Bahn wo wir uns im angrenzenden Supermarkt mit Cider, Baked Beans, Bacon und andere Leckereien eindeckten. Bei einem wunderschönen Schmierfrühstück wurden dann Abendpläne geschmiedet. Es ging nach Primrose Hill, eine Anhöhe, von der aus man das Feuerwerk an der Themse gut beobachten kann, so zumindest der Plan. Knaller zum Selbstzünden sind hier nicht verbreitet, hier fokussiert man sich aufs Gucken und dann das anschließende Feiern im Club. Um Mitternacht selbst waren wir alle zerstreut und jeder war woanders. Zusammentelefonieren dauerte auch so seine Zeit, sodass wir erst gegen 01:30 in Camden in einem Pub/Club aufschlugen, wo ein satter Mix aus 90ern und anderem Trash das vorherige Chaos vergessen ließ. Wahnsinn auch, was in den U-Bahnen los war. Vor nicht allzu langer Zeit wurde der letzte Tag, an dem man straffrei Alkohol konsumieren durfte via Facebook zu einem Riesending gehypt. An diesem Abend war nichts davon zu sehen, jeder hatte mindestens eine offene Pulle in der Hand und jeder Waggon war zum Raucherwaggon umfunktioniert worden. Ohne dass einer der Securities war dagegen gesagt hätte. Diese saßen nämlich in jeder Station in einer kleinen Butze und erfüllten ihren Job, Leuten mit Alkohol den Zugang zu den Gleisen verwehren, ziemlich gewissenhaft. Nur an diesem Abend hatten die wohl frei. Zurück ging es dann mit einem Uber-Taxi, welche wahnsinnig günstig im Vergleich zu allen anderen Fortbewegungsmitteln in London ist. Zumindest in 3er oder 4er-Grüppchen lohnt sich Uber eigentlich so gut wie immer. So endete ein chaotischer Silvesterabend in einem halbwegs gelungenen Neujahrsmorgen.