theme: word

I am always mourning something –
my throat before the scar, my heart before him,
the days we smiled and forgot to check the clock,
the nights we curled into the same twin-sized bed,
the moment before we knew everything was almost over,
that golden glow of night turned into morning,
the songs that still break my heart if you play them long enough.
Home is only a train ride away but I can’t find the station.
I crawl into my mother’s laps and she says my baby, my baby.
I’ve lived in this body my whole life and I am still trying to step out of it.
My mother smooths my hair against my head, asks me to promise
to be better to myself, kinder, more forgiving.
I wonder if she can smell the mourning
like cigarette smoke stuck in my hair.
Things a girl should tell herself

I’m proud of you
You go girl
I believe in you
You’re worth it all
You deserve only the best
You’re THAT bitch
You’re so pretty
Take care of you
You’re the women of your dreams
I forgive you
Your feelings are valid
You’re strong
You’re glowing
You’re complete
You’re art
You’re a big deal
U badass
I want to see you happy
I love you, even at your worst