thelonelysombrero

the hardest part of letting go is

knowing the memories will still be there, burned in the back of your skull; they’ll never fade. Once you put something in your past, it’s far too late to take everything back. It’s gonna take a while to learn from it, to move on, to let go, but the only thing holding you back is you. Your mind is fixed, and a lot of the time, you think you can’t live without that person, but your self esteem is convincing you that they can easily move past you, and if they can what’s stopping you? You have to have confidence that if that person can move on, and live normally and happily without you, you can do the same. Not only are you going to do the same, you’re going to do ten times better, and eventually, you’ll find ten times better. They say time heals all wounds, but no one ever said how much time, and that’s what people need to realize. Sometimes, it’s not in the blink of an eye, and it gets dragged out because you’re dying to move past it. Don’t let the memories, inside jokes, everything you had, get to you. Don’t sit there and think, just move, keep moving. Don’t stop moving until you’re so far gone you can’t remember what it felt like to let go. These people, they’re no different from any other teenagers. Fuck, we’re teenagers, we like to have fun, we do what we love, we love what we do, we make mistakes, we grow but what we don’t know is, a few years from now, we’ll be different, our feelings will change, our views will change, the people we associate ourselves with, will be new people, and that struggle to let go witll be nothing but a distant memory. Nothing and no one last forever, all you have is yourself, and along the way, you’ll find someone to make that journey with you, but you’ve got to go through rain to get a rainbow. People will come and go, but one day, someone will stay. It’s only hard, because we’re just starting to go through the bumps in the road. We’ll get by, we’ll make it through. You’ll be okay, I’ll be okay, we’ll all be okay.

I never learn from my mistakes.

I constantly, and when I say constantly, I mean constantly waste my time caring about people who don’t put in even a quarter of the effort into our relationship. I always try with the people who never cared. I always try with the people who will never be there when I need them, even though I always have their back. I give my damn all to the people who just sort of expect it, and then push me around. I need to learn to make the right type of friends because what I’m doing clearly isn’t working. I’m human, I’m not perfect, but if I treat you with respect, the least I expect from you, is to treat me like I’m human. I’m not a door mat, and with everything I do for your unappreciative ass, the LEAST you could do is not treat me like one. I’m done treating you with the respect I deserve, because honestly, you’re the one who doesn’t deserve it. If there’s anything I can guarantee, it’s that you’re going to miss the friend you had in me, because I will never care as much as I did again. I will learn from my mistakes this time. Starting now, because I’m a damn good person and I don’t deserve to be treated like this, by anyone, let alone someone I’d consider a friend of mine. Everything I’ve ever done for you, after all the trouble you’ve put me through, and all the complicated positions you’ve put me in, honestly you should be kissing my ass, but you’re not, and I never ONCE expected you to, I never even asked for a thank you. So for you to treat me like a door mat, you’ve got some fucking nerve let me tell you. I could give you a full page of everything I’ve done for you, yet I can’t even right down a single thing you’ve done for me, ever. I don’t know what I ever saw in a person like you, you’re nothing but a waste of time, and that’s all you ever have been.