their relationship was the most perfect thing

Back To You; Tom Holland

One-shot, based off ‘Back to You’ by Louis Tomlinson and Bebe Rexha

  • pairing: reader x tom holland
  • genre/warnings: pg/light swearing
  • words: 1500+
  • summary: the one where where you’re in love(?) and no matter what happens you can’t seem to leave tom

“I call you but you never even answer

I tell myself I’m done with wicked games

But then I get so numb with all the laughter

That I forget about the pain”


You weren’t certain of many things in your life but with every passing day, you knew your relationship with Tom Holland was on the rocks.

You and Tom had been dating for just over three years. For a while you were in the most wonderful, blissful honeymoon phase every couple dreamt of. It was perfect. You were happy. He was happy. You were both madly in love.

Neither of you could pin point exactly when things changed.

Eventually all of the little things that used to have you swooning over your boyfriend, you started to only see as a nuisance. You no longer cared about the fact that he always slept with the window half open because he always got hot at night. In fact, it became so bothersome because you knew that he was fully aware that you were the type of person to get cold easily. With the window open it just kept you up night, tossing and turning trying to find more blankets. 

He was starting to get fed up with the relationship as well, you were almost 100% sure of that. Back when you and Tom first became serious, you were the clingy girlfriend. You liked the reassurance that he was always going to be there for you and he always gave it. You liked touching him, holding him, being near him made you more comfortable. You felt safe in his presence.

But you couldn’t remember the last time he looked you dead in the eyes and told you that he was there to stay. You had forgotten what it was like to just be with him-to have him hold you in his arms for no apparent reason.

So last night when you walked into the apartment, ready to give Tom shit for leaving his shoes right in front of the door like he always did, you were very unprepared when you saw Tom standing in the living room, two skinny glasses filled with what you assumed was your favorite white wine, that’s what it looked like at least. 

You greeted him with a kiss, trying to ignore the fact that your heart fluttered for the first time in a long time. When he pulled away he showed you that your favorite movie was on the screen, paused at the opening credits. 

“It’s Friday, I figured you’d want to unwind,” his voice was soft and loving as you both sat down on the couch. Immediately his arms snaked around your waist, holding you so close against his body that you could not only hear his heartbeat but feel the pulse as well. The steady rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took brought you that comfort you longed for.

If someone asked you right then and there if yours and Tom’s relationship was going to be okay, you could finally say yes and not have it feel like a lie. 


“I know my friends, they give me bad advice

Like move on, get you out my mind

But don’t you think that I haven’t even tried

You got me cornered and my hands are tied”


“So you had one good night with him in months?” Your best friend pestered you from the kitchen where she stood to empty out her water bottle, “This relationship isn’t healthy, you know this. You have to move on.”

With my back turned towards her I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn’t call me out for it. You played with my nails, trying to think of any excuse that you haven’t used before, but going back to the one you always stuck with.

“I love him,” 

“Really?” She asked, “Try to sound a bit more convincing, I dare you.”

Keep reading

what your moon sign says about you

the moon sign is so important.  it’s the first thing i want to mention to people learning about astrology, because although your chart is much like a jigsaw puzzle, your moon sign is one of the biggest pieces.  much like the sun sign, it makes up a vast amount of who you are.  your moon sign rules over your emotions, your impulses, and the deepest, most personal version of you.  your sun sign is who you are when you’re in your element, most comfortable, around the people you trust.  your moon sign is the inner workings of you every single day.  the decisions you make, the way you perceive your emotions, and your viewpoint on the world are all products of your moon sign.  so learn a bit about yourself!

☽ moon in aries ☾ : if your moon is in aries, you’re quite a character!  passionate, impulsive, and excitable, you are fast paced and see nothing as impossible!  you’re bound to have very strong emotions, be them good or bad, and you let them rule your every decision (though your decisions can hardly be called decisions; you just do what you want).  nothing is ever boring with a moon in aries around!
good qualities: passionate, spontaneous, ambitious, optimistic
bad qualities: impatient, moody, hot-headed, dramatic

☽ moon in taurus ☾ : if your moon is in taurus, your personality can be best described as warm.  you are affectionate, patient, and kind, and you’re a slave to routine.  you want every day to be predictable, because you’re most comfortable following a pattern!  your love for your family, close friends, and partner is gentle and unwavering, and you will stick by the people you care about through thick and thin.
good qualities: kind, loyal, frugal, fair
bad qualities: stubborn, materialistic, unforgiving

☽ moon in gemini ☾ : if your moon is in gemini you’re one of the most fast-paced moon signs.  sociable, funny, and friendly, you’re much like aries in your impulsiveness, but unlike the fire sign which is unwavering, you’re an ever-changing person.  you probably find yourself taking on traits of those around you, and constantly reinventing your style, because you can’t stand being the same person every day!
good qualities: interesting, funny, organized, intelligent
bad qualities: noncommittal, restless, rude

☽ moon in cancer ☾ : cancer moons are the most in-touch with their feelings of all the moon signs.  if your moon is in cancer, you always know what you’re feeling, and always know what the people around you are feeling as well.  you have great intuition, and that combined with your maternal nature makes you a wonderful friend, partner, and parent.
good qualities: caring, empathetic, loyal, nurturing bad qualities: pessimistic, insecure, finicky, self-absorbed

☽ moon in leo ☾ : if your moon is in leo, you’re incredibly generous. you express your emotions by giving all you can to others, especially those you love. you enjoy showering those around you in gifts, compliments, and affection, but you expect to be treated the same! you love to help others, and give some of the best advice. you feel your best when surrounded by people who care about you, and probably hate being alone. 
good qualities: organized, loving, generous, responsible 
bad qualities: dramatic, needy, bossy, materialistic 

 ☽ moon in virgo ☾ : if your moon is in virgo, you’re obsessed with detail and simplicity all at once.  you like to keep a routine that’s to a t, but prefer to walk through life without doing anything incredible.  you’re happy just blending in with the crowd, and doing small things to make a difference!  you show your love in tiny gestures, like packing someone’s lunch or doing their laundry, and prefer not to get too sappy about it.  you’d rather not make a big splash about anything!
good qualities: reliable, organized, selfless
bad qualities: insecure, withdrawn, apathetic

☽ moon in libra ☾ : if your moon is in libra, you want someone by your side at all times.  you feel most comfortable when you’re in a relationship and quite insecure when you’re alone.  you usually want everything to be perfect, almost unrealistically so, and you stress a lot about the little things.  you have great social skills and likely lots of friends, and love being surrounded by them.
good qualities: adaptable, charming, sympathetic
bad qualities: overindulgent, indecisive, dependent to a fault

☽ moon in scorpio ☾ : if your moon is in scorpio, you’re intense in everything you do. from your interests to your relationships to what you eat for dinner, everything is a big deal. you probably like horror, mythology or astrology, and take great interest in the strange and the unknown. you have a constant thirst for excitement, and if there is none, you’ll create it. your presence is unmistakable.
good qualities: passionate, charismatic, ambitious, complex
bad qualities: possessive, dramatic, hot-tempered, may be disloyal

☽ moon in sagittarius ☾ : if your moon is in sagittarius, you are a free spirit. a sagittarius moon loves adventure, excitement, and change in their life. if any sign is likely to be a modern-day nomad that lives in a camper and crosses country, it’s a sagittarius moon. a sag moon living a conventional life is the type to pick you up at three a.m. to take you to mcdonald’s. they can’t stand doing things the same way twice.
good qualities: fun, fast-paced, spontaneous, passionate
bad qualities: irresponsible, flighty, rude, unreliable

☽ moon in capricorn ☾ : if you have a capricorn moon, you are an old soul. you’re practical and constantly striving for success, and you’re so driven that you’re bound to get where you want to be. emotions are not your strong suit, and many capricorn moons may remain single throughout their life, simply because they’d rather worry about themselves. reserved but not selfish, a cap moon is not very social.
good qualities: ambitious, intelligent, logical, even-tempered
bad qualities: insecure, unaffectionate, anxious

☽ moon in aquarius ☾ : if your moon is in aquarius, you march to the beat of your own drum. an aqua moon feels set apart from others, and tends to act as an outsider looking in; they don’t believe anyone can truly understand them. they’re funny, independent, and kind, and their intuition and observance makes them some of the best therapists, case workers, and even lawyers.
good qualities: independent, intuitive, idealistic, funny
bad qualities: egotistical, moody, distant

☽ moon in pisces ☾ : if you’re a pisces moon, you have incredible compassion that’s unmatched by any other sign. you identify with everyone in some way, because you have a sense of empathy and don’t struggle to walk in another’s shoes. you’re dreamy, optimistic, and romantic, and sometimes you lose touch with reality. you may be referred to as a “sponge”, because you soak up the emotions you’re surrounded by, and it’s easy for you to lose yourself in others’ problems, forgetting to take time to care for yourself first.
good qualities: empathetic, selfless, thoughtful, idealistic
bad qualities: impracticle, dependent, sensitive, may be a doormat

Today is special.

Why?

Because today is the 4th anniversary of a group of boys who started from the bottom and climb, and are still climbing as high as they can.

These boys are Bangtan Boys also known as BTS.

Originally posted by sannal2054

For me BTS is one of the most special groups to exist.

Because not many groups are willing to tell their stories.

BTS does not have to rely on buying song after song after song. After all, they have the freedom to produce, experiment, write and create the art they want to create. It is amazing to see a group of people who write in an industry where many companies opt out of letting their idols write and create and instead choose to mostly buy songs, giving their artists minimal freedom in many cases. BTS, however, does have that freedom and uses it to their full advantage.

Originally posted by meandmyopinionss

Look at the solo songs or any of their solo work as an example.

Rap monster tackles society, Illness, pressures and so much more in his songs. He shows worry for the new generations and generations to come faced with injustice, anxiety and depression. He worries about his members and shows understanding and compassion. In fact, he uses lyrics as an expression of his inner struggle and philosophical thoughts and in turn opens conversations that are very much needed in society. He works hard to communicate with all the fans and in general, he works hard to communicate with people. He does not just show interest in his fans but in society as a whole.

Originally posted by momo-foam

Suga too wanted his voice to be heard. He said it himself, he was not content with just rapping. He wanted people to listen to what he has to say too. And definitely, Yoongi has a lot to say. At first, he seemed like such a closed person, but his mixtape gave everyone such an amazing insight into his mind. From the depression, to self hate, to allusions to suicide and social anxiety he bears his soul to all, in turn trying to help others realise that they are not the only ones going through a hard time. And if he continues to recover(because I believe that even if one gets better, some demons still remain and always have to be fought)  then hopefully so can we. And also, how can one not love a man who reveals a song called ‘first love’ only to reveal that his first love was his piano, when that is such a beautiful and sincere confession.

Originally posted by junghosyub

J-Hope’s mixtape is one I definitely cannot wait to hear. Because I feel like he is a member who also has a lot he wants to say without any constraints. Hoseok ’s song ‘mama’ just showed how amazing he is as a person. He had a solo song in the Wings album, like all the members and he chose t write a loving and sincere song thanking his mum for all that she has ever done for him. For how she loves and supports him in this difficult path. He seems to struggle with feeling like he is not good enough. As a member or son. I hope that’s not true. He also shows his emotion through his dance.

Originally posted by gdiminyoongi

Not these three members show us the most of what they are feeling through writing and producing. However, the other 4 are also working hard on developing as writers, amazing sure to develop and also express themselves.

Taehyung showed his inner turmoils and  guilt over an unknown action or feeling in stigma as he apologise see to his brother and sister and even worked with Namjoon to produce a new song, showing a different side of him, as well as a different singing technique deciding to tell different stories with his voice and songs. Taehyung is also proving himself to be a very good actor, telling more than than just his story.

Originally posted by pjkook

Jungkook, in my opinion, seems to struggle most with expressing himself. And I believe that that is normal. After all from a young age he has been a trainee with means that most things kids get to experience such as relationships, getting in trouble, love, sex and more this teen was not allowed to have. He was too busy being 'manufactured p’, as some may say, to be the perfect idol. However, since he grew up in the public eye for quite a long time we see how his story is his progress as he tries to gain confidence and express himself asking Namjoon for help with his songs 'Begin’ as well as by releasing amazing covers.

Originally posted by jeonity

Jimin, like Hoseok shows his emotions through dance but also has shown us how he can communicate through his vocal colour and his emotional expression. He worked on 'LIE’ showed confusion, loss and heartbreak as he is 'caught in a lie’ and while we do not know the reason for these emotions we can appreciate them better and can relate them to us and our situations.

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Lastly, Jin is the member, who I believed was the least able to express himself, not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t have the opportunity to showcase his stories as much. However, his solo song 'Awake’ is a true gift. It tells the story of a boy, not a man but a boy, who comes to the heartbreaking belief that yes, he may never be able to reach the top like others but he will continue to work just as hard and give his all to be better and better and better. It shows his loyalty and passion and that is what I love about Jin. But I would really love to see Jin tell other, different stories through acting.

Originally posted by catchsuga

So as you see they all have something to say and they all try their best to say it.
and let’s not forget all the amazing choreographies

And let’s not forget just how close their bond is

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Originally posted by pkjmnie

Originally posted by yoongiski

So thank you Kim Seokjin for always making us laugh, for being so kind and caring.

Thank you Min Yoongi for opening up to us and inspiring  us

Thank you Jung Hoseok for being a true sunshine, giving strength to all

Thank you Kim Namjoon for working so hard to create and for always choosing BTS and freedom of speech

Thank you Park Jimin for being so supportive, always being there for your me,beds, hugging them and making them feel supported and loved

Thank you Kim Taehyung for showing us your different sides and working so hard at writing.

Thank you Jeon Jungkook for showing us all your different talents and inspiring us to try new things.

Thank You BTS for being a part of out loves.

Thank you to all the staff for working so hard for our boys success, be it makeup lighting or anything else.

Thank you to all the managers, the CEO and anyone else helping them on their journey.

Thank you to the parents and family of the members for giving birth to such amazing, kind and talented people.

Originally posted by trashoferverything

Originally posted by lostinbangtan

As always, I hope BTS is healthy both physically and mentally and  that they know we are here for them and that we will always love and support them.

Originally posted by allforbts

BTS is already perfect as is and it is  we, ARMYs that have to keep replaying these boys because they do so much for us. They say and create so much for us. BTS is kind, thoughtful, they love their fans, show respect to all and are extremely humble, not taking what they have for granted but rather strive forward to improve.

Originally posted by jhopeloviu

So thank you BTS for being BTS

I hope you will remain together for very long.

I hope there will be no serious drama between you.

And I hope that we can stand together, BTS and ARMYs for many years to come.

If we can’t understand we will try to understand your problems. So please do not push yourselves and harm yourselves. We do not want that under any circumstances.

Originally posted by fullfangirling27

I’m so proud of being an ARMY.

Originally posted by btstaehyunged

So thank you and happy anniversary

Thank you for reading

vaguely nsfw asks
  • 1. Are looks important in a relationship?
  • 2. Are relationships ever worth it?
  • 3. Are you a virgin?
  • 4. Are you in a relationship?
  • 5. Are you in love?
  • 6. Are you single this year?
  • 7. Can you commit to one person?
  • 8. Describe your crush
  • 9. Describe your perfect mate
  • 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • 11. Do you ever want to get married?
  • 12. Do you forgive betrayal?
  • 13. Do you get jealous easily?
  • 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
  • 15. Do you have any piercings?
  • 16. Do you have any tattoos?
  • 17. Do you like kissing in public?
  • 20. Do you shower every day?
  • 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
  • 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
  • 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
  • 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
  • 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
  • 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
  • 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
  • 28. Have you ever been cheated on?
  • 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
  • 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
  • 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
  • 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
  • 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
  • 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
  • 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
  • 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
  • 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
  • 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
  • 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
  • 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
  • 41. Have you had sex so far this year?
  • 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
  • 43. How long was your longest relationship?
  • 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
  • 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
  • 46. How many times did you have sex last year?
  • 47. How old are you?
  • 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
  • 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
  • 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
  • 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
  • 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?
  • 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
  • 54. Is there someone you will never forget?
  • 55. Share a relationship story.
  • 56. State 8 facts about your body
  • 57. Things you want to say to an ex
  • 58. What are five ways to win your heart?
  • 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
  • 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
  • 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
  • 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
  • 63. What is your definition of “having sex”?
  • 64. What is your definition of cheating?
  • 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
  • 66. What is your favourite roleplay?
  • 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
  • 68. What is your sexual orientation?
  • 69. What turns you off?
  • 70. What turns you on?
  • 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
  • 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
  • 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
  • 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
  • 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
  • 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
  • 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
  • 78. What’s your dirtiest secret?
  • 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
  • 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
  • 81. Who are five people you find attractive?
  • 82. Who is the last person you hugged?
  • 83. Who was your first kiss with?
  • 84. Why did your last relationship fail?
  • 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.

And I will not be afraid
of your scars.

I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.

—  Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers

‘  all i need is for you to stay by my side.  ’
‘  all of the love songs remind me of you.  ’
‘  all of the words in the world can’t show how much you mean to me.  ’
‘  boy,  could i use your love  &  affection right now.  ’
‘  concept:  we’re both awake at 4 a.m.  i call you to hear your sleepy voice.  ’
‘  cute thing that you do:  the most stereotypical giggle  &  then hiding your face.  ’
‘  don’t let this be temporary.  ’
‘  don’t worry about me.  i just want to know you’re okay.  ’
‘  every day i get to see your gorgeous face is a good day.  ’
‘  everything about our relationship feels so natural  &  perfect.  ’
‘  feelings change,  but mine about you won’t.  ’
‘  hey,  guess what?  i love you.  ’
‘  hold me tight  &  tell me you love me.  ’
‘  i always daydream about living with you.  ’
‘  i am so exhausted,  but i’d sleep so much better with your arms around me.  ’
‘  i can’t help but imagine living with you years from now.  ’
‘  i can’t keep setting fires to keep you warm.  ’
‘  i could listen to you talk about the things you love forever.  ’
‘  i don’t think i’ll ever stop wanting you.  ’
‘  i don’t want those memories any more.  ’
‘  i forget who  &  where i am when we kiss.  ’
‘  i get that warm,  pleasant feeling in my chest when i’m with you.  ’
‘  i hope with all my heart that you love me like i love you.  ’
‘  i hope you feel the same way you make me feel.  ’
‘  i just want to softly cuddle with you  &  count the freckles on your cheek  &  i want to run my fingers through your hair.  ’
‘  i know it’s getting scary,  but you’ve just got your perfect self out of bed  &  do the best with what you’ve got.  i believe in you.  ’
‘  i love looking into your squinted eyes while we laugh.  ’
‘  i love when you give me little kisses on my hand  &  cheek  &  neck.  it makes me feel so loved.  ’
‘  i never thought i’d deserve the love you give me.  ’
‘  i think you’ve shown me what love really is.  ’
‘  i want the only thing between our bodies to be our love.  ’
‘  i want the only thing between our love to be our lips.  ’
‘  i want to bury my face in the crook of your neck until we both fall asleep.  ’
‘  i want to listen to the beautiful song of your voice for hours.  ’
‘  i want to make you just as happy as you make me.  ’
‘  i want to wake up to your smile.  ’
‘  i want to wrap my arms around you at 3 a.m.  &  tell you i love you.  ’
‘  i want you to be my yesterday,  my today,  &  my tomorrow.  ’
‘  i want you.  ’
‘  i will always love you.  even when you don’t think it’s a possibility,  i am going to love you.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with you right next to me.  ’
‘  if only you could see your angelic self from my perspective.  ’
‘  if you frequently play with my hair,  i might just fall in love with you.  ’
‘  it’s amazing feeling the warmth of your love.  ’
‘  it’s okay to have a bad day every once in a while.  ’
‘  it’s so much easier to fall asleep when you’re in bed next to me,  running your gentle fingers down my back while we softly smile at each other through the darkness.  ’
‘  i’d wait a lifetime to be in your arms.  ’
‘  i’m all yours.  always.  ’
‘  i’m always going to support you.  without even a second thought,  i’ll be there when you need me.  i want what’s best for you.  ’
‘  just knowing you’re there comforts me.  ’
‘  just thinking about how you make me blush.  ’
‘  keep in mind all the things that you have to look forward to,  babe.  ’
‘  kiss me under the starry sky.  ’
‘  let me know if you’re in love with me too.  ’
‘  let today be the day that everything changes.  you are capable of so much.  ’
‘  let’s go on a cute,  cliché date.  ’
‘  let’s sleep together under the stars.  ’
‘  make yourself  &  your own happiness you priority.  ’
‘  make yourself happy before you worry about me.  ’
‘  my kindness isn’t weakness.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is for all our arguments to be settled because i know you’ll still have my love  ’
‘  oh,  what a privilege it is to matter to you.  ’
‘  our love could make flowers bloom int he dead of winter.  ’
‘  pet names are my weakness.  ’
‘  start setting boundaries.  enough is enough.  ’
‘  thank you for caring like nobody else ever has.  ’
‘  thank you for caring when nobody else has.  ’
‘  the world is going to do something amazing for you.  ’
‘  there are times to power through it  &  there are times to say no.  ’
‘  when i look at the stars i can’t help but think of you.  ’
‘  when you look at me,  the butterflies flutter.  ’
‘  you are my happiness  &  you don’t even know it.  ’
‘  you are my starlight.  ’
‘  you are the one i’d do anything for.  ’
‘  you are what puts my mind to rest when i can’t sleep.  ’
‘  you don’t need anyone to rescue you.  you can do it all on your own,  babe.  i know you can.  ’
‘  you feel like home.  ’
‘  you have a smile that lights up my world.  ’
‘  you have no idea how proud of you i am.  you’ve done so much for everyone.  thank you.  ’
‘  you stole my heart,  but i’ll let you keep it.  ’
‘  you’re made of stars  &  you’re my favorite constellation.  ’
‘  you’re my favorite notification.  ’
‘  you’re my home  &  i’m homesick.  ’
‘  you’re not just your mistakes  &  you deserve to be happy.  ’
‘  you’re so much more than good enough.  don’t ever doubt that.  ’
‘  you’re soft  &  sweet  &  too good for me.  ’
‘  you’re something special babe.  you can make a difference.  ’
‘  you’re the happy part of my days.  ’
‘  you’re the one i’m looking for.  ’
‘  you’re the one thing i think about when i wake up every morning.  ’
‘  you’re the reason why i want to get up every morning.  ’
‘  you’re waking,  talking,  living,  loving poetry.  ’

Reasons why bughead is the otp i never knew i needed:

- It’s a relationship solely built on friendship, trust and affection between two people. There’s no “belligerent sexual tension”, “hating each other but secretly wanting to have sex”, or petty insults that are somehow romanticized into “hot witty banter”. There’s just love, unspoken understanding and empathy.

- Jughead and Betty are both damaged people going through rough patches in life, but it’s not portrayed in a “omg we’re so fucked up and it’s glorified to be something morbidly beautiful as we spiral into mutual destruction” way, it’s more like “our lives are messed up and it’s not okay, but we’ll help each other through this, we’ll overcome it together”.

- Even though it’s clear that they mean a lot to each other, they are able to exist as two separate characters with respective compelling stories, instead of being reduced to “one half of a ship”. They both have priorities that they (rightfully) put before their relationship. So many ships end up overshadowing the characters involved that they’re pretty much empty shells without their relationship with each other keeping them relevant to the plot.

- The casual way with which they show affection. The casual touching, hand holding, sitting-side-by-side-with-zero-personal-space, the slinging-a-leg-over-the-other’s-lap thing. Some of them are even blink-and-you’ll-miss it shots. It’s never a big deal. It’s like physical affection comes to them naturally. It’s perfect.

- The huge smiles they always wear on their faces when they’re together. It’s so clear they make each other happy by just being there. There’s no tears, no arguing, no physical violence, no drama, all of which staples of “interesting relationships” on television, and yet theirs is one of the most compelling love stories I have ever known.

I don’t think people understand how rare it is for a tv pairing to be this healthy and good, and how much it means to me. I’m crossing all my fingers that this is the way they’ll always be. It’s time for us to put all those dramatic and destructive romance tropes to bed and stop pretending it’s romantic.

The purpose of walking with Christ is not joy, but in walking with Christ, how can we not have joy? Even when our body is filled with sickness, trials are all around, and it seems that some of the things most beloved to us are being torn apart.Yet we should still have joy, because our joy and our blessedness is fixed, not in what we do, not in what others do to us, not in our circumstances, but our joy is fixed in the perfect person of Jesus Christ and the perfect work of Jesus Christ.
vaguely nsfw asks
  • 1. Are looks important in a relationship?
  • 2. Are relationships ever worth it?
  • 3. Are you a virgin?
  • 4. Are you in a relationship?
  • 5. Are you in love?
  • 6. Are you single this year?
  • 7. Can you commit to one person?
  • 8. Describe your crush
  • 9. Describe your perfect mate
  • 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • 11. Do you ever want to get married?
  • 12. Do you forgive betrayal?
  • 13. Do you get jealous easily?
  • 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
  • 15. Do you have any piercings?
  • 16. Do you have any tattoos?
  • 17. Do you like kissing in public?
  • 20. Do you shower every day?
  • 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
  • 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
  • 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
  • 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
  • 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
  • 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
  • 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
  • 28. Have you ever been cheated on?
  • 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
  • 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
  • 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
  • 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
  • 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
  • 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
  • 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
  • 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
  • 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
  • 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
  • 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
  • 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
  • 41. Have you had sex so far this year?
  • 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
  • 43. How long was your longest relationship?
  • 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
  • 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
  • 46. How many times did you have sex last year?
  • 47. How old are you?
  • 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
  • 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
  • 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
  • 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
  • 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?
  • 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
  • 54. Is there someone you will never forget?
  • 55. Share a relationship story.
  • 56. State 8 facts about your body
  • 57. Things you want to say to an ex
  • 58. What are five ways to win your heart?
  • 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
  • 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
  • 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
  • 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
  • 63. What is your definition of “having sex”?
  • 64. What is your definition of cheating?
  • 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
  • 66. What is your favourite roleplay?
  • 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
  • 68. What is your sexual orientation?
  • 69. What turns you off?
  • 70. What turns you on?
  • 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
  • 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
  • 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
  • 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
  • 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
  • 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
  • 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
  • 78. What’s your dirtiest secret?
  • 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
  • 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
  • 81. Who are five people you find attractive?
  • 82. Who is the last person you hugged?
  • 83. Who was your first kiss with?
  • 84. Why did your last relationship fail?
  • 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
Give me a break.

Hii! I know it’s been forever since I wrote something and I’m very sorry. There’s been so much on my mind lately and so many things that made me feel overwhelmed and I just needed to sort it out. This is kind of very loosely based on ‘Love me or leave me’ by Little Mix because someone requested it. I hope you like it. I plan on writing a second part.xxx

“Well, maybe I don’t fucking care anymore!”
It seemed like his booming voice made the whole house vibrate. It seemed like it cut right through Y/N. His words felt like he took a knife and rammed it into her heart and to top it all off he twisted it slowly so the pain had time to spread.
These last weeks felt like nothing but pain for her. He was never home and even when he was he somehow wasn’t. She let him in and he pushed her away. He pushed her so far away she couldn’t feel him anymore.
“Why are you still here then!?”
She had had enough. If he didn’t care anymore he could walk out the door and never come back.
Harry scoffed, turned around and walked up the stairs. When he slammed the bedroom door shut Y/N could feel the last bit of connection between them slipping away completely.
It’s never been this harsh. They slammed doors and yelled hurtful things before but it’s never been like this. Somehow this felt final.
She didn’t know how it happened, how everything between them began to crumble. But it did.
She didn’t feel his loving touch in at least three months. She didn’t hear his loving words in at least three months.
They fought almost every day and when they didn’t fight they didn’t talk to each other at all. Mornings were spent alone and cold, both waking up at their own times without a good morning kiss or a cuddle or anything at all. Nights were even worse. They went to sleep in the same bed but facing away from each other. They never solved their problems before bed. They broke their rule every single night and went to bed angry.
And even though right now Y/N might think it would be better if their paths would part she also knew she wouldn’t recover from it. Harry was the love of her life. She knew she could never be happy without him.
And so she broke down. Ugly sobs and fat tears. The whole weight of the last few months finally got too much and she couldn’t take it anymore. She was sure she’s never cried this much in her entire life. She was sure she never felt so hurt but numb at the same time before.
She didn’t know what the hell went wrong. What she did to push him away. What she did that made him stop loving her.
He doesn’t love you anymore.
Those were the words that constantly replayed in her head, after every fight.
He hates me.
She couldn’t find another explanation. That was the only reason she could think of as to why he wasn’t interested in fixing things between them.

When she met him she was sure he was the most wonderful person she’s ever met. He looked at her as if she was the most important thing on earth. He cooked the most delicious dinner for her. He held doors for her. He made her laugh and feel appreciated.
When she really got to know him she was knocked off her feet. He was the most gentle and loving man she could have ever imagined. He was there for her. He was the place she ran to when the world overwhelmed her. He was her happy place. Her home.
When things got a bit rough they stuck together. They were a team. They faced everything together and fought through it.
Y/N was the happiest girl ever. She thought she found her forever. Her happily ever after.
Until the perfect relationship began to change into great, then good, then normal and then…
Into whatever they had now.
She couldn’t take it anymore. And the worst thing was that there was no way out of this hell. They can’t go back to where they’ve once been. And parting ways? No fucking way could she survive without him.

It was three hours and twenty tissues later when Harry finally exited the bedroom and came down the stairs. Y/N was standing in front of the big living room window which had a view over what seemed like half of London. Her back was turned to Harry, her hair messy and her frame slightly shaking.
She knew that whatever would come now would change everything. She knew that they reached a point were something had to happen. Anything.
Harry took a deep breath and took the last few step towards her. Y/N closed her eyes when she felt his warmth. She hadn’t felt it in so long.
When he reached his hand out thread his fingers through hers she flinched. Harry could feel his heart breaking at her reaction to his touch. He closed the gap between them and pressed his chest flush against her back. That’s when Y/N started to cry again. Her whole body shook with the force of her tears and the whimpers and sobs seemed to get louder with every passing second.
“Shhh.” Harry tried to calm her and finally wrapped his arms around her from behind.
He nuzzled his face into her neck where she always smelled so good and that’s when he realized how long he hasn’t done that.
Y/N moved her arms so she could intertwine both her hands with his. She didn’t remember the last time she held his hand. She used to love his hands so much, always playing with his fingers and kissing his knuckles.
Harry kept pressing tiny kisses to her shoulder and squeezed her tighter to him every time a whimper left her lips.
They stood like that for at least ten minutes before Y/N turned around in his arms and hugged him again. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his hands stroking softly over her back while her hands were fisting his shirt. She couldn’t get close enough. She needed him closer. Her hands wandered down underneath his shirt to touch his skin. Harry shuddered when her cold hands touched his skin but he knew she needed this. She hasn’t felt his skin in forever. It almost felt foreign.

When they finally pulled away from each other both of them were scared to let go. This couldn’t be it. They needed each other.
“We have to talk, Harry.” she whispered and pressed her forehead against his.
“I know, my love.”
My love. Was she still his love?
She thought he hated her.
They sat down at the kitchen table across from each other. Both of them couldn’t be fast enough to reach out for each other again and when their hands bumped against each other they both laughed softly. For the first time in months.
None of them wanted to be the first to say anything. Until Harry finally couldn’t take the silence anymore.
“I didn’t mean anything that I said earlier. Or… in the last few weeks. God, what is happening with us?”
“I don’t know, Harry. But it can’t keep going like this. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Me neither, love. I know I didn’t show how much it was affecting me but I want you to know that I feel just as broken as you do.”
Broken. Is that what they’ve become?
“I… I thought you hated me. During all these times you pulled away or turned your back towards me, I thought you hated me.”
Harry’s free hand reached out to hers so he could clasp her hand in both of his.
“I never ever hated you. Not for a second. And I never will.”
Y/N felt like a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders and she felt like she could breath again.
“I love you so much, darling.” Harry whimpered.
Her head snapped up so she could look at him and when she saw tears running down his cheek she reached over the table to wipe them away.
“I love you too, Harry. So much.”
Harry removed her hand from his face and pressed gentle kiss to ever knuckle.
“What are we going to do, love? I want to fix this. I want to go back to being the happiest couple ever. I want to go back to being happy with each other.”
“Me too, Harry. God, I’d do everything to get back to what we once had.”
They stared into each other’s eyes until Y/N cleared her throat and diverted her eyes to the table.
“I-I think we need a break.”
Harry’s whole world stopped in that moment. His mouth fell open and his brows furrowed. He pulled his hands from hers and a breathless ‘no’ left his lips.
“No.” He repeated after a moment.
“No way.”
“Harry, listen. I-”
“No!” he shouted.
Y/N flinched and her ears began to ring like every time he raised his voice at her. Her eyes closed and tears began to dribble down her cheeks.
“Do you think I’m stupid? I know exactly what’s going to happen when we do that. You’re going to realize just how unhappy I make you and that you are so sick and tired of me and you’ll never come back. Or you’ll find someone else who makes you laugh more than I ever did. God, I’m going to be gone for two weeks for promo. Is that not enough distance and space for you?!“
“Harry, I need time okay? I need time to take care of myself. I need time for sorting things out. I need time so that this all can work again and if you’re honest, you need it too.”
He laughed humorlessly and crossed his arms over his chest.
“You will have that time when I’m gone.”
“I-I don’t think two weeks are going to be enough.”
His eyes caught hers and she swore she’s never seen him look at her like that. So sad but angry at the same time.
“L-Longer?”
“Two weeks are nothing, Harry.”
“There’s been times when you couldn’t go a single day without me. There’s been times where two weeks without each other seemed like the end of the world.”
She closed her eyes and tried to control the tears which constantly blurred her sight.
“I don’t think we can sort anything out in two weeks.”
“I don’t think we can sort anything out when we’re away from each other.”
“Harry, please.”
He closed his eyes briefly and sighed.
“How long?”
“T-Two months?”
“No fucking way!”
This time it was Y/N’s turn to sigh.
“Harry, I-”
“One month. And not a single day longer.”
She caught his eyes for a moment before she nodded.
“Alright.”
They sat in silence for several minutes, both didn’t know what to say.
“I-I thought I’d stay in a hotel for the two weeks before you’re gone and then I’ll come back.”
“No.”
“Harry,-”
“No. Please, I-… I want to know you’re safe. You’ll stay here and I’ll stay with Gemma.”
“If that’s okay with you.”
“No, it’s actually not.”
She looked at him with the saddest eyes he ever saw and he shook his head and and sighed.
“I’m gonna go pack some stuff and then you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”
“Harry, I did not suggest a break because I want to get away from you as quickly as possible. I want to fix this. And I feel like some distance is the only way to sort things out. Or at least make the first step.”
He didn’t say anything but just left the kitchen and went upstairs to pack a few things. For some reason Y/N couldn’t help but feel guilty. Of course she knew he wouldn’t be happy with taking a break, she wasn’t either. But she hoped he could at least understand where she came from.

When he came down the stairs half an hour later with two big duffle bags Y/N almost felt like crying again. She watched him, how he placed them beside the front door, wiped his tears away, took a deep breath and turned around to make his way to the kitchen so he could say goodbye but she was already standing in the foyer. They stared at each other for a few moments before Harry cleared his throat and removed a greasy strand of hair from his face.
“I’ll go now, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Y/N nodded and sniffled.
He looked at her for another few seconds before he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Can I at least get a hug?”
He saw the surprise on her face but she nodded anyway and took the last few steps towards him. She slung her arms tightly around his neck and pressed her body tightly to his and Harry wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her to his chest. He pressed kisses to her shoulder and neck and stroked over her back in gentle patterns.
When they pulled away a bit Y/N reached up to cup his cheeks and stroke over his skin.
“I love you. Nothing changed about that and nothing is going to change. I don’t want you to worry about me breaking up with you. I couldn’t imagine life without you.”
Harry pressed his forehead to hers and pulled her body even closer.
“Will you say goodbye when I’ll leave for New York? Don’t think I could leave without seeing you before.”
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
Harry sighed but nodded.
“C-Can I kiss you?” he asked her in a whisper.
She leaned in and connected her lips to his as an answer, his bottom lip slipping between hers. She kissed him four times before she pulled away a bit to look up at him again.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
She nodded and smiled softly at him.
“I love you, too.”
Harry gazed into her eyes for another few seconds before he pressed a few gentle kisses against her lips again. He pulled away from her then and took his duffle bags.
“I’ll let you know when I’ll leave for New York. You can call me or come over anytime you need, okay?”
“Okay. You can come over or call as well. Even if it’s the middle of the night.”
He nodded and opened the door.
“Take care, yeah?”
“You too, love.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And just like that he left.

Jupiter thru the houses
  • 1st: The concept of expansive experience, inner growth, and higher learning are integral parts of your identity. Your identity is always expanding into a vast complexity towards a new awareness of being. Your growth does not stop for a minute, you have to grow and expand constantly or you don't know who you are. You are likely to feel some air of Saggitarius in your life, even if there is nothing in Sagg in your chart. You're gonna find solace in traveling, exploring new philosophies or spiritual concepts, and interacting with new energy throughout life.. This feels normal to you.. Its your natural state of being.
  • 2nd: With this placement one finds their expansion and growth in life through the way they physically materialize on this world with your unique set of values. This means that one is likely to find work that is in alignment with their values. Material and physical abundance should find constant expansion through life. If this person is a musician they will have all of the best guitars, if this person is a health nut they will have a job at the coolest raw juice bar in town, if this person loves fashion they will acquire all of the best clothes that speak to their spirit. This is a great placement because you will find spiritual growth and relevance in your work, your money, and your material possessions. (my placement)
  • 3rd: Communicating and thinking is how you reach those levels of expansion. New concepts, new people, new experiences.. It's all taken in and processed.. The product of this is your deeper awareness towards how you have grown and expanded through that experience, person, or concept. Expansion and spiritual growth is always a process in your mind.. These are the people who need to write or communicate their experience in order to take what it is they have learned from it.
  • 4th: Expansion and spiritual growth is found here in the home.. Whatever your concept of home is.. You are growing through the intimate feeling of security you feel with certain people or places. Childhood and family is a large focus of your Jupiter here because your Jupiter lives within the home. Your mother and your father, brothers and sisters, the children you birth out of your womb someday.. They mean the most to you, they are your deepest teachers, they are the ones who hold the energy to expand your soul.
  • 5th: Expansion through breaking free in freedom of expression. You are growing and learning by letting yourself shine, express, and freeing your creativity for all of the world to see. This is a theme for you in life naturally, however, your choice to grow lies within the choice to put yourself in the spotlight.. Whether that be on stage, in a relationship, or at home.. When you shine your light, you are expanding your spirit. This is such a beautiful placement for that reason. You will continuously find your spirit deeper by expressing that Leo energy.
  • 6th: Your expansion lies in your routine and the way you approach day to day life. This is a fascinating planet because Jupiter is the ultimate source of growing expansion and the 6th house is very confined to the Virgoan concepts of order and service. With this placement I see an importance for one to create a daily practice of SOMETHING, running, mediation, eating the same thing, ect.. through focused implemented order in life is where they find their deepest sense of growth. Its like harvesting that routine to keep growing and growing PERFECT order and power. A grounded placement for Jupiter.
  • 7th: The energy that bounces off you to another, vise versa, the laughs shared, the kisses, the crying, the hugs, the fights... This is where you learn, grow, and expand as a person. Your spiritual growth is interlinked with the relationships you have in life. In the eyes of others is where you will find your most prominent teachings in life. Connection means so much to you, the words spoken to you by another absorb into your soul and grow your awareness of who you are in this reality.
  • 8th: Ahh Jupiter here is no stranger to the intensity life has to offer. You are finding your spiritual growth and expansion through all that the 8th house rules. Death, sex, birth, metaphysical, psychic, secrets, magick, depth, shadow, hidden, occult, transformations, ect. Transformation is a large area of focus for the 8th house, your expansion and spiritual awareness will continuously die and rebirth into something new as you grow. You get to those levels of growth through intense things in your life, maybe its a crazy ass sexual relationship you have, maybe its a secret that was given to you for you to hide, maybe it was deepening spiritual experience through touching upon working with the metaphysical, I am ruled by the 8th house so I could say so much... Long story short.. What the 8th house rules.. Is what you will always find yourself in when your in the process of spiritual expansion.
  • 9th: So this placement would be similar to the first house accept it wouldn't be as large of a focus in your identity as it would be a natural theme of your life. These people find themselves living in concepts of the 9th house effortlessly. You are a natural philosopher, foreign traveler, and seeker of spiritual truth. From a young age you probably have found yourself traveling to different cultures, visiting a church or a temple, and found your surroundings held philosophical energies. There is a likelihood you have had and always do have a strong Sagittarius presence around you whether that be the people in your life or the experiences you have. Swimming in the energy of Sagittarius is where you expand... Very simple.. Very beautiful.
  • 10th: Your career and public image are areas of your expansion in life. Whether you are a self-made candle maker or a desk job worker at a corporation.. Your career field will always find expansion into greater heights. This is a blessing to your public image, you will be seen as someone who is capable to expand into something greater. You will bring positive and insightful energy to others around you in the workplace. You bring Jupiter energy into your career field. Your presence uplifts your work and your co-workers. If you have this placement I ask of you, never ever stop dreaming when it comes to your career and public image. You are so capable of reaching any height you desire.
  • 11th: You are going to find your expansion in life through being apart of groups and the collective. You are very absorbent in the filter of how your awareness grows when you are in the presence of a group. Everyone's different energies merge into you evoking Jupiter's expansion. You'll find that you continue to grow and expand in the groups and tribes you find throughout your journey. Each one bigger and brighter with a new level of expansive promise. You also bring this expansive energy to the table when you enter a group setting as well. Friendships, the concept of a team, and collective energy is a large focus in your life.
  • 12: You find your spiritual expansion in the unconscious giving realms of the 12th house. With this placement one is likely to have a natural affinity and understanding of spiritual energy. You expand within the natural flow of your spirit. Meditation, energy work, astral projecting, psychedelic experimentation, crystals, art, etc.. Are all sources of transformation for you. Also with this placement you will find expansion in helping others, giving generosity of your energy field to benefit others on the emotional realm. There needs to be care taken with this placement that there isn't over-giving and also not diving too deep in the world of fantasy.
Ask me things

1. What’s your philosophy in life?

2. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

3. Are you religious or spiritual?

4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

5. Which parent are you closer to and why?

6. What was the best phase in your life?

7. What was the worst phase in your life?

8. Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?

9. What makes you feel accomplished?

10. What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

12. Are you more into looks or brains?

13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

15. When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

16. What kind of parent do you think you will be?

17. What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?

18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?

19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes?

20. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

22. What’s an ideal weekend for you?

23. What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex?

24. Do you judge a book by its cover?

25. Are you confrontational?

26. When was the last time you broke someone’s heart?

27. Would you relocate for love?

28. Did you ever write a journal?

29. What are you most thankful for?

30. Do you believe in second chances?

31. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

33. What did your past relationship teach you?

34. What are your thoughts on online dating or tinder?

35. What’s on your bucket list this year?

36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?

37. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?

38. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?

39. What’s your biggest regret in life?

40. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?

The Signs with a Broken Heart

This post is essentially based on my/my friends’ real life experiences.I’ll also try to include some advice how to get over this struggle. Your Sun & Venus Signs matter!

I think that today, after having written some love posts, I had to think about those who spent this day alone, because they are comfortable with it, because they don’t need anyone, or maybe because their heart isn’t healed enough to start dating again. And it’s totally fair. Heartbreak is way too underrated lately in my opinion, we think about those with a sickness, we think about those who are poor, we say that as long as you are healthy, have a place to sleep, have something to eat, you must be happy, but sometimes an emotional wound is a lot harder to heal than a physical one. When you love someone, they become the most important part of your life. You share your days with them, you miss them, you decide where to go for a dinner together because you want them to be happy too, you basically change your whole lifestyle to fit theirs. And then if one day, they decide to take their love away, it feels like only half of your life is left and you ask yourself questions how it’s possible to make it stop just like that, from one minute to another. This is why it’s so hard to get over a broken heart. And sometimes it’s even worse to lose someone who never even was yours. You start questioning everything, why does life play such a prank on you and makes you meet them, like them, fall in love and all this for nothing, because they don’t share your feelings. A person questioning themselves, thinking that they aren’t good enough for a person they love, that someone else is and they aren’t, is probably one of the most hurtful feelings.

So here’s how I see the signs being hurt and hopefully this will help a few of you. Not because you will read this post and your pain will suddenly go away, no way, I just want you to know that there’s always someone to understand exactly how you feel, that you’re not alone.

ARIES:

As an Aries, you can be very emotional, but real feelings don’t reach you too often. Quite careless in your young years, you might be attracted to people physically, like them in different ways, call it love, feel sadness about losing them, but only the pain of a broken heart will tell you it was real. Because 

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Let’s Talk About Tina Goldstein

So lately I have been hearing people talk about how boring Tina was as a character and it absolutely blows my mind that so many people think this when I immediately thought she was one of the most well-developed and interesting characters of the movie. Since so many people seem to be of the same mindset about her character, I feel that I need to remain people of a few key things and point a few other things out.

Allow me to present the facts:

1. Tina is part of the law enforcement in the 1920s, and seems to be quite good at her job

Although it is evident that the magical community in America at this time displays less gender discrimination than the non-magical community, the fact that she became Auror is a feat of its own. We know from the Harry Potter series that becoming an Auror required extensive training and top marks in school, so this means that Tina is not only at least a decent student, but a highly trained wizard. She also seems to have been doing her job for quite some time, which means that she has experience. Another thing to note is that, even after she was removed from her Auror position, she still felt comfortable enough to approach her higher-ups when she took Newt to MACUSA. I mean, she literally walked straight up to Graves and the president of the American Wizarding Community and started talking. Although she was turned away, the fact that she felt comfortable enough to approach them indicates that prior to her removal, she was respected and treated as an equal. If that isn’t the case, her boldness in speaking to Piquery shows that she is very brave and has a heart to do the right thing. By Tina’s attempts to keep doing her job even after she has been fired, we can see that she both loves her job and knows that she needs to do the right thing, even when there are restrictions in the way.

2. Tina fought Grindlewald

I would like to start off by saying: WHY AREN’T MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS.

I mean, come on. Tina went up against freaking Grindlewald one-on-one and held her own up until the point that he threw a freaking car at her. The fact that she was able to engage in a duel with him and nearly be successful in at least subduing him shows that Tina is indeed a powerful duelist and wizard as a whole. Grindlewald was considered the most powerful dark wizard besides Voldemort, and she actually faced him. Although she didn’t know Graves was actually Grindlewald, Tina had to have known that Graves was a powerful wizard from working with him, and the fact that she stood up to him is another show of her bravery.

3. Tina is occasionally emotionally vulnerable

So often in pop culture we define a strong female character as one who shows zero emotion and refuses to be scared, sad, or any emotion thereof. As stated in points 1 and 2, we already know that Tina is a badass, but the true depth of her character lies in that she is capable of kicking butt, but she also is not afraid to show when she is scared. In the scene where Tina and Newt are in the Death Chamber, Tina is visibly afraid and does not seem to make any attempt to hide it. Again, we later see that she is frightened when the lights go out in the street, and once more when she is facing Credence as the Obscurus. Besides fear, she displays a wide variety of other emotions throughout the movie, such as hope, calm, happiness, giddiness, embarrassment, annoyance, fondness, etc. Athough I am all for snarky females who don’t give a dang, Tina’s ability to show emotion is a breath of fresh air.

4. Tina calmed down Credence

And it would have worked too, if it weren’t for MACUSA’s interference.The fact that she was able to get Credence to trust her and listen to her shows a different depth of character that really doesn’t require explanation.

(side note: the fact that Tina is able to clam things down like Newt does with his animals really connects these two characters. Just sayin.)

5. Tina has a very close connection with her sister

The relationship between the Goldstein sisters is another thing we could microanalyze, but I think that their closeness is generally fascinating, even from a distance. For one, Tina does not really seem to envy her sister in any way, despite the fact that Queenie is a Legilimens and would have fit the “perfect beauty” of the time period. Tina does make a little quip once, but for the most part, Tina seems comfortable with who she is. Queenie also doesn’t seem to display any jealousy towards Tina, who is a powerful duelist and, as mentioned in point 1, seemingly well respected with higher-ups up until the point of her removal. Besides not showing jealousy, Tina looks out for her sister both physically and emotionally (as shown by her not wanting Queenie to get attached to Jacob when he will need to be obliterated). The sisters display a huge level of trust between the two of them throughout the whole movie, with their closeness being built on the fact that they raised each other after their parents’ passing. The fact that Tina is the older sister also shows that she probably grew up a bit too fast, and knows how to take care of herself.


Thus, I am continually confused by people who thought Tina was a boring or underdeveloped character when she is, in fact, a powerful duelist, a brave-hearted Auror, in touch with her emotions, a loving sister, a person who wants to do the right thing, and a generally caring person. Besides this, I thought she was funny at points, and Katherine Waterston did a wonderful job portraying this character. I think that J.K. Rowling left Tina plenty of room to grow and develop, and I look forward to seeing the role that she plays in future movies.

There are a lot more things I could have brought up, but this post was getting long. Feel free to add your own thoughts.

Homie out.

365 Days of Journaling

This year I am comitted to journaling every day. To make sure I am inspired to write I’ve compiled a list of prompts using journaling prompts, list prompts and self-discovery questions. Feel free to use!

365 Days of Journaling

1. Your New Year’s Resolutions.

2. Personal fact file.

3. Review of 2014

4. How can you treat yourself more gently this year? Things you could lighten up on yourself about?

5. List 5 simple activities to nurture yourself.

6. What do you need to stop worrying about?

7. Secret

8. What do you repeatedly re-evaluate? Can you let it go?

9. List things you should be proud of.

10. What negative phrases do you say about your body? Can you replace them with positive affirmations about your body?

11. List 10 things your body does that is amazing.

12. How are you sleeping?

13. Friendship

14. In my heart I know the one way I can nurture my bod more this year is ___.

15. What makes you feel loved and cared for?

16. How does social media affect you?

17. List your greatest comforts.

18. Book Review

19. Design your outdoor area/garden.

20. Who do you want to surround yourself with this year?

21. An artist that inspires you.

22. List current and future goals and dreams.

23. What’s something you do differently to other people?

24. List what you are grateful for.

25. What’s something you want to do but haven’t?

26. Imagination.

27. List things you do to procrastinate.

28. Do you feel worthy of nurturing and gentle care? How does it feel for you to say ‘I am deserving of loving care. I take time to take care of myself?’

29. List words that touch your soul.

30. I wish animals could…… If they could, then…..

31. Has your greatest fear come true?

32. Never have I ever list.

33. What’s holding you back?

34. List dream jobs.

35. Favourite recipe.

36. List fictional characters with whom you have fallen in love.

37. Focus.

38. I am inspired by…

39. Your favourite flower?

40. Movie Review.

41. ‘If I won the lottery’ list.

42. In this moment are you happy?

43. Hope.

44. List things you like to do when you’re sick.

45. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

  1. 46.  ‘If I ruled the world’ list.

47. Words to live by.

48. I wish I had one more chance to….. Then I would…..

49. 5 things you want in a relationship.

50. My overused words and phrases.

51. Dream.

52. Recipe for a perfect weekend.

53. Make a table, 10 things you love and hate about your body.

54. List your greatest achievements.

55. Doodle here.

56. What’s your happiest childhood memory?

57. In ten years from now where would you like to be?

58. What’s your perfect trip?

59. When have you felt most passionate?

60. Your skills.

61. I wish I could forget the time I ….. because….

62. Book Review.

63. Believe.

64. If not now – when?

65. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

66. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day before?

67. Write a letter, Dear Past Me.

68. What would you wish for if a genie granted you 3 wishes?

69. The most disappointed I’ve ever been…

70. What scares you?

71. Mystery.

72. 10 television shows.

73. Nobody knows that I…

74. Your favourite scent?

75. Do you cope with stress? How?

76. List your essentials.

77. Plan a romantic evening.

78. Your saddest memory?

79. What’s the difference between being alive and truly living?

80. Mistake.

81. I wish I had a million… Then I would…

82. List books.

83. Decide upon a three course meal.

84. If we learn from mistakes why are we so frightened of making them?

85. What’s something you’ve learnt today?

86. What was your favourite school subject?

87. 10 celeb crushes.

88. The most fun I’ve ever had…

89. What are you looking forward to?

90. List places you want to go.

91. Laughter.

92. Describe each day of the week as if it was a person?

93. Are you a worrier?

94. The tattoos you have?

95. 10 things to do before your next birthday. (95)

96. Who was your best friend?

97. List favourite quotes.

98. Favourite colour combos.

99. Movie review.

100. Who do you admire?

101. I wish I could learn….. because…..

102. Look through a magazine – what images stand out?

103. The biggest lie I’ve ever told is…

104. Favourite animation.

105. Something out of reach…

106. A mistake you won’t make again?

107. Wisdom.

108. List things that feel like home.

109. I am…

110. I’m not very good at…

111. List things you want to be known for.

112. What was your favourite toy?

113. Your character traits.

114. Pause.

115. Describe your dream job.

116. Write a letter, Dear Future Me.

117. Make an A-Z list of things that you want to do.

118. Write about your first job?

119. Adventure.

120. List of websites.

121. Ways to waste time…

122. Table of Do’s and Don’ts

123. Your make-up bag?

124. What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done?

125. What makes you miserable?

126. Energy.

127. Things you find beautiful?

128. There’s no excuse for…

129. The most terrifying moment of my life was…

130. What was your first car?Design your bedroom.

131. In 25 years will you be proud of the things you did or regret the things you didn’t do?

132. Write a mantra.

133. Your bucket list.

134. Proud.

135. A-Z list of words to describe you.

136. What makes you unique?

137. Your next tattoo?

138. Lyrics of meaning.

139. Movie review.

140. Collection of jokes.

141. What happiness means to you?

142. Doodle here.

143. Simple.

144. List 3 things that went right or wrong today.

145. How do you deal with anger?

146. Are you forgiving?

147. Things I always did with my dad when I was young…

148. List things that remind me of a my childhood.

149. Favourite emotion?

150. What is magic?

151. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

152. When do you make excuses?

153. Unique.

154. List bad habits.

155. Childhood games.

156. List family traditions.

157. Something you overheard today.

158. Choose a poem.

159. List things that motivate you.

160. Grace.

161. Get a map and plan a route.

162. Qualities you look for in a boyfriend?

163. Your pet.

164. Your definition of beauty.

165. Plan a perfect date.

166. List things that happened on the day you were born.

167. Myth.

168. List of questions.

169. Your perfume?

170. HTML colour codes.

171. List pet peeves.

172. Robert Frost write a poem titled The Road Not Taken.  Name a road you’ve always wanted to travel.  Where do you hope it takes you, and what might you see on the way?

173. Hug.

174. Ways to relax…

175. Your favourite albums?

176. Authors whose work you enjoy.

177. The worst nightmare you’ve ever had?

178. 5 things you can’t live without?

179. Every child deserves…

180. What would you change about the world?

181. List things to collect.

182. Plan an exercise routine.

183. I wish I had enough money to……

184. Cocktail recipe.

185. List summer goals.

186. Best advice given.

187. Religion.

188. Your favourite piece of classical music.

189. Your talents?

190. What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time?

191. List of 10 boy names.

192. Designer inspiration.

193. How much will power do you have?

194. Your favourite place and why?

195. Place your playlist on shuffle, write the lyrics to first song played.

196. List people you love.

197. Think back to the toys of your childhood.

198. Choose some scenery.

199. Favourite days of the year.

200. Today’s horoscope.

201. I wish everyone loved……

202. Advice to your best friend.

203. What does your sleeping position say about you?

204. Is there a heaven?

205. Things I always did with my mam when I was young…

206. Who would you like to thank for something they did for you in the past?

207. Favourite holiday.

208. Design something.

209. What did you buy today?

210. Favourite colour palette.

211. Are you competitive?

212. Create a pattern.

213. Your pet.

214. Find a new poem.

215. Independent.

216. What does love mean to you?

217. Ten ways to improve yourself.

218. Miracle.

219. Your karaoke song.

220. Here is what others see me as …

221. Your favourite weather.

222. What is your personal secret to happiness?

223. What does real success in life mean to you?

224. Things that happened ten years ago today…

225. Vision.

226. Your blog.

227. Your favourite season.

228. Honestly.

229. Mission in life…

230. In three words, describe your life.

231. Dreams for someday…

232. What do you think of the saying YOLO?

233. Best advice received.

234. What are means to you?

235. Most valued idea.

236. Most fun day ever.

237. Are you brave?

238. Happiest moment lately.

239. Who am I really?

240. Yesterday, I was…

241. What kind of day are you having, and why?

242. Your wedding song?

243. In what areas are you optimistic, and in what areas are you pessimistic?

244. Describe your life in colour.

245. What do you see in the mirror?

246. Future.

247. Interior design inspiration.

248. Success.

249. The headlines today are…

250. Write down today’s stresses.

251. What is your earliest memory of home?

252. Qualities you look for in a friend?

253. A promise I must make myself.

254. Cloud.

255. Something you learnt the hard way?

256. Urgent challenges.

257. What would your superpower be?

258. Lost.

259. How much self-control do you have?

260. Who do you talk to when you have a problem?

261. Paint a picture.

262. Where would you like to be lost?

263. How old were you four years ago? Describe some things you can do now that you could not do then.

264. Book review.

265.  Choose a religion.

266. List of things to photograph.

267. A place you relax.

268. Favourite family photo.

269. Describe how university was for you?

270. A photo that makes you happy.

271. Complete.  

272. Use a newspaper for inspiration today.

273. Your house rules?

274. When I am old I will…

275. Who or what has had a strong influence in your life?

276. Write about climbing.

277. What’s the meaning of your name?

278. Make an emotional graph whilst listening to a song.

279. Doodle here

280. List places you would not visit.

281. What other profession would you do?

282. Power.

283. What does it feel like to be wrong?

284. Would you jump out of a plane?

285. What have you won?

286. Favourite brands.

287. Where do you feel most comfortable?

288. A woman who inspires you.

289. Which is least important to you–money, power, fame–and why?

290. Describe a dream that you had recently. Provide as many details as possible.

291. Why is it important to be honest?

292. A ridiculous law held in your country.

293. Why do you work where you work?

294. What’s your least favourite mode of transportation?

295. Place your playlist on shuffle and write the first ten songs that are played.

296. Where do you people watch?

297. Collect some wallpaper.

298. Movie Review

299. Draw optical illusions.

300. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

301. What headline really got to you today?

302. Write about a difficult time in your life when you showed strength.

303. Best lesson you’ve ever learnt?

304. Something expensive you won’t buy yourself.

305. What historical events happened the year you were born?

306. Legend.

307. Does Never Never Land really exist?

308. Favourite candles.

309. List of fictional places you wish you could visit.

310. Do you look after yourself?

311. Seven things I love to do.

312. How does the weather effect you?

313. What do you think of animal testing?

314. Escape.

315. List five things you would buy if money wasn’t an object?

316. If you were a doctor, what kind of doctor would you be?

317. Open up a random book to page 33, and take the first sentence at the top of the page and start writing from it.

318. A-Z list of words that mean something to you.

319. Sometimes I pretend to be.

320. Describe your relationship with your grandparents.

321. As a writer, my dream come true would be…

322. List 3 things that went right today.

323. Trace your hand, write words on how you feel today inside.

324. Favourite superhero?

325. I promise to…

326. What effect does music have on you?

327. What can you see out of your window right now?

328. Name one thing you have always been good at doing.

329. What is your favourite form of exercise?

330. A festival you would like to experience?

331. The problem with being me is that…

332. Today’s fashion inspiration.

333. Families are important because…

334. Are you doing what you believe in or what you believe you should be doing?

335. What era inspires you?

336. A myth or legend that intrigues you.

337. What really moves you?

338. Take a walk, what did you think about?

339. What must I do tomorrow?

340. What’s making you mad today?

341. Write a letter to your future daughter about growing up.

342. List of 10 girl’s names.

343. Write down something no one knows about you.

344. Give yourself a pep talk?

345. When I was a child I didn’t realise that…

346. Your starsign.

347. List of your firsts.

348. What would you tell your future self to stay more positive?

349. Book Review

350. Words that mean something to you.

351. List of things you look forward to.

352. Was today a good day?

353. Something that helped to shape your outlook to life?

354. Write a description of a winter’s scene.

355. Your Christmas shopping list?

356. Events to remember this year…

357. What did Christmas mean to you as a child?

358. What does Christmas mean to you now?

359. How was your Christmas?

360. What’s great about today?

361. Would you change anything about this year?

362. What are you proud of achieving this year?

363. What I learnt this year…

364. Words to describe 2014.

365. What are your resolutions for the upcoming year?

Ask Questions!

Reblog | Send me a # and I’ll Answer : 

  1. Height:
  2. Shoe Size:
  3. Sexual Orientation:
  4. Do you Smoke?
  5. Do you Drink?
  6. Do you Take Drugs?
  7. Age you get mistaken for:
  8. Have Tattoos?
  9. Want any tattoos
  10. Got any Piercings?
  11. Want any piercings?
  12. Best friend?
  13. Relationship status:
  14. Biggest turn ons:
  15. Biggest turn offs:
  16. Favorite Movie:
  17. I’ll love you if:
  18. Someone you miss:
  19. Most traumatic experience:
  20. A fact about your personality:
  21. What I hate most about myself:
  22. What I love most about myself:
  23. What I want to be when I get older:
  24. My relationship with my sibling(s:(
  25. My relationship with my parents:
  26. My idea of a perfect date:
  27. My biggest pet peeves:
  28. A description of the girl/boy I like:
  29. A description of the person I dislike the most:
  30. A reason I’ve lied to a friend:
  31. What I hate the most about school:
  32. What my last text message says:
  33. What words upset me the most:
  34. What words make me the best about myself:
  35. A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11:
  36. What I find attractive in girls.
  37. Where I would like to live.
  38. One of my insecurities.
  39. My childhood career choice.
  40. My favorite ice cream.
  41. Who I wish I could be.
  42. Where I want to be right now.
  43. The last thing I ate.
  44. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately.
  45. A random fact about anything
kang daniel as your boyfriend

wanna one boyfriends 4/11

  • if you’re dating this human work of art girl let me tell you you really scored
  • the perfect mix of sweet ‘n spicy
  • looks tough but is actually a gentleman
  • treats you like you’re the most precious and beautiful being he’s ever seen
  • likes looking at you for long periods of time whenever you’re talking about the things you love (him)
  • he just loves seeing you excited over things that make you happy (HIM)
  • coffee shop dates
  • long walks in the park preferably at night
  • ok listen this is basically just a super chill relationship
  • nonetheless daniel is very serious about his feelings towards you and always lets you know that he loves and appreciates you
  • if you’re feeling particularly good one day and maybe start dancing a lil because you want to express your happiness he just can’t help but look at you like that
  • and honestly his gaze makes you want to melt
  • he smiles just a little and his eyes lock onto yours with such adoration that you get a little weak in the knees
  • wow he’s just completely whipped
  • sometimes you’ll have to share him with his cats
  • and seongwoo
  • his best buddy will invite himself to your dates a lot and be whiny about the fact that he’s third-wheeling because he doesn’t have a date but the only person he wants to be his date is daniel tbh
  • you’re gonna make lots of plans on how to spend your free weekend but then the two of you end up binge-watching some dumb show on netflix
  • “do you really want to go out later because i kind of like this”
  • “yeah you know what i’m actually quite comfy let’s stay here”
  • when the two of you do go out though he pays for all of your drinks
  • tipsy make-out sessions dear lord forgive me for i have sinned
  • so when the both of you are just a little drunk he’ll slide his hands down to your waist and pull you close and kiss you with an intensity that has you weak
  • he really knows how to use tongue that’s all i’m gonna say bye
  • just a very good kisser in general
  • soft ‘n lazy morning kisses are also a thing
  • another thing about mornings: his raspy and incredibly hot i’ve-literally-just-woken-up-three-seconds-ago-voice
  • will whisper a soft “good morning babe” into your ear and boom you’re awake and screaming
  • lowkey domestic
  • likes making breakfast for you whenever he wakes up before you
  • cleaning up together after having a meal
  • y’all take a lot of showers together tbh
  • can handle mood swings really well
  • sometimes when you’re upset because of something he’ll quite literally wrap you in a blanket and have you sit on the couch while he hits up the local convenience store
  • and then he comes back with your favorite ice-cream and popcorn and some cheap ass prosecco and y’all eat ice-cream out of the tub and get tipsy and vent to each other about how unfair the world is
  • and you always feel better afterwards because wow you have such a nice and caring and hot boyfriend and as long as he’s around nothing will ever be entirely bad tbh
Living as a Liminal Space

Is this the way things have always been?
The question is always nestled in the back of your mind, smile carefully in place as you nod along with someone’s conversation. You don’t know who they are - their face feels familiar, but the list of remembered names in your mind is very small.
You stare at their cracked lips, trying to commit their words to memory. You wonder if they had ever used chapstick, and just as that thought bubbled to the surface, time slipped sideways. You awake from your dream to find seconds have passed, countless words lost in the haze of existing and you look up at the person speaking.
“I’m sorry,” you say, with that careful smile painted delicately across your face, “Could you repeat that?”
They do, but the words slide like quicksilver in and out of your ears, darting just long enough to hear, but not long enough to understand. You blink, trying to remember, but that moment is gone as if it had never happened. They are already talking about something else, addressing you by name, but their own name remains lost.
Conversations flow like a river around you, snatches of meaning caught here and there, but holding onto conversations is like trying to dam a stream with a bucket. You learn to scoop down as quickly as you can, snatching just enough context to divine meaning.

Is this the way things have always been?
The light bulb needs to be changed.
There are two bulbs, one broken, one not. The room is dim, but not so dim that it is untreadable. You see the light bulb, and it registers as something that Needs To Be Done. You look down to the warm mug in your hands, and consider that to change the bulb, you need to have your hands free.
And the thought is gone, the significance of room dimness lost as your thoughts fizz like static to wrap around the mug’s heat. You find the mug the next day, left on the corner of your desk, drained of coffee. The room’s dimness is remembered, but you should take care of that mug first, right? It could mold.
By the time you place the mug in the sink, your thoughts are already occupied by dish soaps and lipid breakdowns, and the bulb lies forgotten, nestled dead against the ceiling. 

One morning, neither bulb turns on, and you navigate the kitchen by the light of your cell phone before work.
That night, you use your cell phone again, because you’ve forgotten where the bulbs are, and need to get gas to get to the store.
The next night and the night after that, you ate early enough in the day that light bulbs weren’t needed, so the deadness never registered as a problem.
At the end of the week, your hunger draws you to the kitchen late in the evening, but it’s too late in the day to go to the store - they won’t be open.
When the problem of the bulb is not in front of you - is not making an active nuisance of itself, it’s like it doesn’t even exist.  
Nothing in this world exists, when it’s not in front of you. 

Is this the way things have always been?
“You’re so good at traveling!” your coworker said, “Aren’t you homesick?”
Belatedly, you realize that you’ve been away from home for a week and a half. Each day seems like an individual lifetime. They flow back-to-back never quite related, for all their similarities.
Like picking up a new novel every morning, each set of problems is unique to that situation.
Like picking up a new novel every morning, the previous book’s worries shed like water. They’re not here anymore, so they don’t matter.
“Do your parents know you’re in California?”
No, you think to yourself, I haven’t talked to them in months.
It’s not any malice or dislike that stops you from calling, and that’s what frightens you, a little.
You’d be happy talking to them, but you just…. Forgot.
Like all things, when they aren’t in front of you:
They just don’t seem to exist. 

Is this the way things have always been? 

“You know I was only joking!”
I didn’t, you think to yourself, forcing a titter of agreeable laughter.
Every word, unless emphasized deeply with emotive gestures and tonal changes, seems genuine. Flat-faced delivery of falsehoods always rings true to your ears. It takes effort to remember to parse out people’s wording - their delivery - and compare it against their previously stated opinions and choices.
It takes effort to remember to analyze again and again and again and again, until every conversation is a minefield of potential missteps, drawing close a handful of responses that could be interpreted a hundred different ways. At least with those, you can play along.
“How come you’re being so quiet?”
It’s exhausting to dance the dance of smalltalk, when your feet just seem unable to develop that muscle memory. So every conversation becomes mechanical, automatic, words filtering through keyword searches and tonal registers to find the ‘correct’ response that is both situationally appropriate, not emotionally hurtful, and hopefully accurate enough not to elicit guilt.
Like all automations, It doesn’t always work.
Like all machines, it doesn’t feel real.
The people of the world seem like a thousand NPCs, all demanding answers from an endless multiple-choice list of dialogue options. Humans become something like obsticals, and conversations like challenges, fights waged with memorized expressions and rote responses. You become accustomed to spitting back wisdom from books and television shows written by actual people, in the hopes that their words can make your forced empathy seem real.
None of it feels real. 

Is this the way things have always been?
“Do you have a crush on anyone?”
Should I?
Sexual and Romantic relationships burn brightly, all-consuming while they last. Obsessive is a word fit for the hungry hoarding of dragons, and the vicious consuming of ghosts.
It is an accurate adjective for your heart.
While things are here they are all that exist.
While things are elsewhere they may as well have never existed at all.
It applies to tasks,
To objects,
To people,
To relationships.
To your own emotions. 

Existence itself remains a fleeting experience of not-quite-real spaces. Each moment feeling the most important thing you’ve ever done, yet once that moment passed it leaves only the briefest of marks on your heart or memory. Often the memory slides away completely, leaving nothing but the memories of others, and whatever few pictures were taken.
Your self exists eternally on the outskirts of other peoples lives, recollection of what you’re like always reminded by pictures and stories told by friends. That perfect, careful smile painted delicately across your face slips to neutrality when alone.
You simply consume the world, experience it, and let it go again.
An eternal catch-and-release, where there is no fish more important than the one caught in your gaze NOW.

 Is this the way things have always been? 

Yes. 

And will always be. 

Your mind is a Liminal Space, and the world around you can only briefly visit. 

this was honestly such a wonderful parallel

the first clip takes place the monday after the weekend even stayed at isak’s place, after isak and even broke into someone’s house and kissed in their pool and rode back to his place on a bicycle and spent over a day talking and kissing and discovering each other and it was all so incredible. but now he hasn’t seen him since he left the morning before and apparently even hasn’t been in school today and all of that is a lot. and this is the type of stories you share with your friends, the boys are always talking about the girls they are involved with. it’s pretty much all we’ve seen them talk about so far. but even is not a girl, and although the boys are his friends, as he walks up to them, he knows that talking to them will involve lying, will involve having to keep up his facade. because he can’t possibly talk to them about what just happened in the past few days. he’s not ready to, and there’s the obvious fear of how they’d react 

and so you can tell he’s not able to truly connect anymore, because this truth that’s taking most of the place in his mind at the moment is not something he feels he can share with them. and you can see him try to connect, as the boys talk about magnus’ birthday and how he almost hooked up with vilde, he tries to push back what’s happened to him this weekend and all the things he could share and engage in the conversation. but it’s not working, because isak ditched them on magnus’ birthday and the boys don’t seem to believe his “family dinner” excuse and they can’t be bothered to try and include him in the conversation. and so throughout the clip you just see jonas and mahdi and magnus talking to each other, and isak just stands there, as if his gang of friends wasn’t truly his anymore

but then, in the next clip, in last episode, we see him walk up to the boys. and oh, how things have changed. he’s walking with more confidence, his steps are more certain. because now he’s walking up to jonas, his best friend he came out to and who had the most perfect reaction, and who was just worried about him all along, and who has been the most supportive best friend. he’s walking up to mahdi, the friend who hates the idea that people at school might think he’s a homophobe, the friend who started discussing sexuality with a completely open mind when he found out that isak “had a thing” with another boy. he’s walking up to magnus, who gave him a lot of wonderful advice after even’s manic episode, who stood up for even and who told isak to not give up on his relationship, to reach out to even

he’s walking up his “boyyyyys”, the incredible group of friends who gave him advice and then let isak kick them out of his place when he and even reunited, who had the most precious reactions when they met his boyfriend. his group of friends, who are there and who aren’t leaving, who are accepting and loving, who care about him. and now isak feels like he can talk to them, openly, no more lies, no more facade. and being able to finally be himself around them has not only mended the broken connection with his friends, it’s made it stronger than ever