their relationship breaks me

If we break up, I want closure. None of this bitter high school mentality that usually follows after someone leaves. I want a long talk about what went wrong, why we couldn’t fix it, and how we’ll move on afterward. I want to know how I made you feel and what thought-process led you to the decision that you’re making. Because if I spent a fraction of my life devoted to loving you, you can’t expect me to let you go without any explanation as to why you’re going in the first place. If I love you, there will always be a piece of me that loves you. So let’s talk it through and forgive each other, neither of us are perfect and we’re both still learning how to love. And that’s okay, it is. But instead of seeing each other the next day and awkwardly pretending we weren’t ever anything at all, let’s forgive each other now and move on. Make peace.
—  Car thoughts #150
You didn’t just break promises, you broke me.
—  “I promise to love you forever”
I am not a rebound.
I am not your second choice.
I will not give you the constellations inside my heart if all you give me is space.
I will not give you the oceans of my mind if all you do is sit back and watch me drown.
I will not break all ten fingers if all you do for me is not lift one.
I may not know a lot about who I am,
but I know now who I am not.

1. Don’t date a boy who cancels plans last minute. Especially if he’s canceling for someone else. You are not a second choice. You are not a third choice. You are a first choice or you are nothing to him.
Do you understand me, baby? You are worth so much more than that, don’t let him push you around.

2. If he’s rude to you, drop him. I don’t care how many times he says “just kidding” or “baby, I didn’t mean it” you keep your head up, your shoulders straight, your chin high and you demand to be treated as the goddess you are.

3. If he doesn’t hold your hand in front of his friends or wrap his arms around you when you’re with his family then he isn’t worth it. Date someone who can’t keep their hands off of you. Date someone who aches with the need to feel your skin on theirs.

4. Make sure he has goals, aspirations, dreams. Make sure he has a plan of some sort. If he doesn’t have any of those what are you guys supposed to talk about? What are your 2 AM conversations going to look like?

5. Find out his hobbies and interests and make sure they’re similar to yours. If you want to travel, date someone who will drop what they’re doing just to take you on a random adventure. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who’s idea of a good night is sitting on his futon with cheesy Dorito fingers while you watch him play video games.

6. If your brother doesn’t like him or if he rubs your sister the wrong way, trust their instinct. There’s probably a reason. I can guarantee you, darling, if you bring him home and we can see in his eyes that you light up his entire world than we will love him just as much as you do. 

7. Baby, if he ever lays a finger on you, you fucking leave him. Don’t think twice, don’t look back and don’t you dare accept his apology two days later. 

8. If you can’t trust him you shouldn’t be dating him. If you have to go through his phone to sleep better at night he’s not the one for you.

9. You’re going to fight, you’re going to argue, that is all part of a relationship. But baby, if he is contradicting everything you say solely for the sake of an argument, just walk away.

10. I’ve seen anger and rage in your grandfather’s eyes. I saw it everyday for 17 years, baby. If losing a football game makes him so mad as to not want to speak to you, than you are giving yourself to the wrong boy. He’s going to grow, and he’s going to get meaner, and he’s going to hurt you. Leave now.  

11. If his laugh doesn’t claw it’s way into your memory and his smile doesn’t make you feel like the entire universe is right in front of you than you are wasting your time.

—  11 Dating Tips I Wish My Mother Would Have Told Me 
there’s nothing poetic about crying yourself to sleep at 3 am because you know you’ll never be good enough.
—  depression is like a heavy weight on your chest you just can’t seem to push off.
One of the hardest things is to watch someone slowly lose interest in you.