All the Feels
Woke up this morning around 4am to pee. Had a little sexy time with the husband and then fell back to sleep. At which point I had such a bad dream! I dreamt he was seeing someone else, and left me. But they way he spoke to me in the dream and the way he looked at me. It was the same tone, attitude, and lack of any feelings in his eyes that I experienced a few years back when we were having huge trouble and nearly divorced.
I was just waking up when he came into the room this morning to see if I was stirring yet (he gets up really early) and I was literally tearing up. He turned on the heat, brought me a coffee, and sat down to cuddle. I literally held on tight and long.
Is it possible to have the recent end of a friendship trigger ptsd from that old divorce episode? I think that’s what it was. And it sucked revisiting all those feelings.
Then he brought me breakfast in bed and we made a grocery list and played and now I feel better.
This one, I’ll never let go.