You’re Eleanor Shellstrop from Phoenix, Arizona. Your favorite meal is shrimp scampi. You listed your emergency contact as Britney Spears as a long-shot way of meeting her, and your favorite movie is that clip of John Travolta saying “Adele Dazeem.” You flew halfway around the world because you wanted to be a better person, and it was very brave. You’re sharp, and you’re strong. You make fun of me a lot. You once called me a human snooze button. But you also showed up in my classroom when I was drowning in despair and canned chili, and you basically saved my life. You have very high self-esteem, and a very low tolerance for men who wear sandals, and your worst nightmare is someone saying something nice about you to your face, but too bad, because I need to say it, because you deserve it. Because… because…
“The whole point of this afterlife test is that everyone in these rooms is supposed to be talking about me. And yet, even in this scenario, you are still talking about Kamilah.Which is exactly the point.
I was never going to be enough for you. Never going to earn your respect.
You know, I’ve done things that you would never have approved of. I died, dressed as someone in the service industry, I shagged a Floridian, I even ate a Cheeto. That’s right. Chewing it was deafening. And it’s the happiest I have ever been.”