Dear Vodka
Dear Vodka,
Where the hell can I begin
Before me there was you and well
From that time we grew to be friends even b.f.f’s
From the club to the bar
To the liquor store
We made it through
From the cheap to the bran new
Man, Vodka I love you
There is no pleasure like no other
No hope so true
To help me from killing muthafuckers
I depend on you
You provide me with temporary sanity, even some relief
But man Vodka I can’t believe
That times have changed
I've grown
That it’s just time for me, even you to move on
So before we part ways
Even say goodbye
Let me get tipsy
For one last time, so that I can remember the good times we had over the bad
So I can share with my kids what we had
So goodbye, farewell, adieu, and maybe one day we’ll reunite
Even think about the crazy nights
But for now I wish you well, and I’ll be on my way to start something new one day somewhere
Sincerely, Drunk Grad student that loved you dearly
Tutoring Session 2/27/2012

 So I went to my tutoring session with my tutor named Lansky(not his real name but his stage name) and we started talking about my thesis.(which is in hip hop) I filled him and try to get some ideas bouncing. That worked until he kept on prying out what was wrong and started the lecture about being motivated(since I am not really motivated to do much of anything) and saying that he was trying to instill his work-ethic on to me which I think its a joke. i laugh because it is a joke. My tutor from my observation can barely sit his ass down and do work. He is more focused on his rap career that will never happen then using his damn degree. Not only that a nigga can’t lie. I lie better than him on a bad day. The problem is consistency something he lacks. So he decided to go off topic and asked me what I will do with my major in music. I told him I wasn’t thinking on using it and that i would use my masters more music was just an aethesic degree. I said that i most likely will not use it within the next five yrs but eventually. Then he asked if I got into any grad schools I told him that I was still waiting on a reply for one school and that I still have to apply to another one.

So then after that a nigga went back to the lecturing and I am like damn to myself I don’t need advice from you I will get by each day at a time. I did tell him that I would get by either a day at time or play it by ear when it came to my paper. He was not happy about that response or the response of the one word that went to two words that went up to four words and back down one words responses. During the time in all this I asked if he was done and he was like he is not playing any games and that I needed to get serious and focus on deadlines. Then he asked if he did something wrong in which he had and I said I will plead the fifth. He stated he has done nothing wrong(if you cannot stay with me during my whole tutoring session and help me whether I want it or not than in that case you did do something wrong) I tried to use my session they way I wanted to by trying to say that I needed help on this or that and that just infuriated him more. And he did what I expected read his homework during my tutoring session.

To wrap up because I felt so pissed off and disrespected I did a couple of annoy things like click my pen but then I thought what more could be better than to play a metronone since I am a music major. He got very annoyed and then he told me to turn it down and I did. I messed around with the metronone and eventually made corrections on my paper. I sat a bit enjoying the pissed off Lansky and then I packed up while he was doing some stuff. I headed out the room and he said goodbye I didn’t bother to even respond and then he gave me a weird and pissed off look.

In the end if you are going to get tutoring do not get it from someone named Lansky who doesn’t like to work his day job as a tutor that he gets through an assistanship that would rather be rapping(or try to because he can’t) and working on his wannabe music career in hip hop. Not to mention this tutoring session has been one of many things such as an eye opener, a waste of time, a moment to piss someone off , a funny post, a lecture, some unwanted advice but overall a person who doesn’t trust because of what she has seen. Where does that leave her a unbroken wall that cannot be broken by this individual.

What Makes me Happy

For so long I have been caught with obligations

A blige by communications with those who do not seem to give a damn

About me

I have toiled this thing called sanity away

Cried tears of an unspoken truth

Wore the pain of an undivluged hurt

And I


I have come to the realization




Need to be happy

Not happy for my friends

Or the people that I meet along the way

But for myself

I need to be happy so that I can find peace

So that I can smile and know it truly me

What makes me happy is to tell you how I feel

No sugarcoating

No lies

Just the truth

However you take it is beyond me and on you

I am sick of being the workholic for others and not myself’

That the simple truth becomes one of disdain

What makes me happy is writing

Writing this poetry of my truth

And sharing it for the world to see

So that they know people like me exist to speak

To express

Never hiding the words that once were caught under thousands of printing press

What makes me happy is the simple things

The bumblebee on a flower

The New England spring

The cherries in the summer

And the Willow tree blossoming

The hope that a new day will come

I need to be happy

Enjoy this moment of elation

Despite the fact that

People may be bitter

And people may talk

My happiness will not suffer

From no walk of shame

No looks of disdain

What makes me happy is the ability to be free

Set my wings and go whereever that may be

I will be happy

Not for you but for me