Why yes, I do enjoy Chemistry Humor.
“What’s this?” Actinoid asked, holding up an electron- clearly a discarded valence one, too. Before Lanthanide could answer, Actinoid continued. “You’ve been sleeping with that ion Francium, haven’t you? I knew it! You know she’ll give that valence electron to anybody. There’s no telling how many ionic bonds she’s got going on. You could become radioactive for all you know!” Lanthanide gaped in disgust. “Oh, like I don’t know about you and Fluorine! You’ve been giving him valence electrons practically every time you see him. Those late night covalent bonds, don’t pretend you don’t know that he’s just going to make it ionic and let you fend for yourself!” Lanthanide shouted, “Good luck finding another element who’ll put up with your reactivity!” before leaving the substance for good in a chemical change that surely meant they were never getting back together. Like ever.