theater-kids

9/1/2005: My sixteenth birthday was nearly a complete disaster.

Feeling: Devastated.
Listening to: The Smiths “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want”

This morning on the bus nobody talked to me until someone asked to borrow my mirror. Erica brought me brownies, and Micheal sang to me. But besides that, almost everybody forgot my birthday. Despite the fact that 1) I was wearing a tiara, 2) I was carrying around a birthday cake and 3) I publicized it to EVERYBODY all week.

Class meetings were horrible and nobody realized it was my birthday, still. Mrs. Johnson was singing “Cumpleanos Feliz” and asked if anyone had a birthday this week. I raised my hand and instead fucking Marie was all, “MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEK! SING FOR HER!” I already hate everyone in my Spanish class anyways so this further upset me. Fucking theater kids!

By the time third period rolled around I was thisclose to bawling my eyes out, and then I walked into Journalism class and idly sat there until I decided to sob in the girl’s bathroom. At lunch I was still sobbing and eating my red velvet cake, until Jackson pulled me aside for a walk. He held me as I cried and cried into his shoulder, and finally when I ran out of tears we walked back and I waited for some more people to ask whose cake it was and why I was wearing a tiara. And then I felt like crying some more. This validates my insignificance.

But I still commend those who did remember.

Yeah, today was the worst birthday ever. Not only do I feel like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles but I also feel like the biggest loser on earth.

…It’s time for some 80’s melodrama on a disc.

A message to anyone who doesn't think The Arts are hardcore as fuck:

You’re wrong.

If a dancer sprains their ankle they’ll just wrap it and smile through the pain as they do crazy-ass jumps and turns and shit on it. Like, how even, Id be crying and falling over but they look like fucking deities

Theater kids rehearse for hours every day. HOURS. Like, 8+ hours on a SUNDAY for gods sake I don’t see no football player doing that tbh

Don’t even get me started on music kids. Not only do they have to have SUCH A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR BULLSHIT but reeds are fucking hell and strings fillet your fingers into little strips of flesh. Ew, I know.

And like the art kids (painting and sculpting and that shit) holy hell
do they have patience. Anyone else who stares at a canvas for 6 hours consecutively would probs go
insane and commit mass murder. And holy hell batman paint hurts like a soda can up your ass when it gets in your eyes like nooooo

Makeup artists have to deal with your ugly ass faces and somehow (probs by using black magic) turn trashcans into gods.

Then there’s photographers who will literally sometimes crawl down drainpipes or fall head-first out
of trees to get a nice picture. I wouldn’t do none of that shit wasted as fuck, let alone sober.

Conclusion: Art ppl= hardcore as peaches

  • Theater kids the week before the show:This whole damn show is going to shit. The leads don't show up to rehearsal, nobody knows their lines, not one person has bothered to listen to the soundtrack at home. Don't even bother coming to the show it'll be a waste of your money it'll be a major fucking disaster
  • Theater kids the week of the show:It's coming along really great! This show is so much fun, and we can't wait to finally reveal all of our hard work to everyone! I can't wait to see you there I'm sure you're gonna love it :)
Different theater kids

Newbies: What do you mean we don’t change our costumes in private? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO CHANGE INTO OUR COSTUME IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER?

Theater vet: *casually walks out of dressing room with only a shirt, bra, and underwear on* Hey has anyone seen my costume pants?

  • friend:I hate theater kids
  • me:i'm a theater kid. why would you say that.
  • friend:because I knew you-
  • me:BECAUSE I KNEW YOU. BECAUSE I KNEW YOU. I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.
  • friend:this is exactly why
  • me:what do you mean?
  • friend:every time i see you, you just come out-
  • me:THE SUN'LL COME OUT TOMORROW. BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROW THERE'LL BE SUN
  • friend:why
  • me:i don't know what you're talking about

With all my usual Broadway jokes aside, let’s take a moment to remember Kyle Jean-Baptiste.

For those of you who don’t know, Kyle was at the same time the first African-American actor and the youngest actor to play Jean Valjean in Les Miserables on Broadway. Last night, on August 28, he fell from a fire escape at his mother’s house and died at only 21 years of age.

Kyle described Jean-Valjean as his dream role when he was cast earlier this month, almost immediately after he graduated from college, as the understudy for the role. Kyle was a bright, kind-hearted man who brought joy not only into the lives of those that were close to him but into those of anyone lucky enough to see him perform before he passed away. During his run, he expressed gratitude for the opportunity he was given and approached the role with a gorgeous voice and a fresh interpretation of the character to many loving audiences. He left the role on August 27, the day before the tragedy, in order to continue with an illustrious Broadway career which the world never got to witness. Last night we not only lost a great talent, but a symbol. People like Kyle who fight for liberty, equality, and the American dream itself keep freedom alive. This is why it’s so important to make sure that losing such talent and such potential isn’t in vain. Please take a moment to remember Kyle Jean-Baptiste today and make sure that he is never forgotten. Mourn his death, but more importantly, celebrate his life. He may not have shone for long, but when he did, he burned with the kind of brightness that changes the world for the better. You can watch Kyle perform “Bring Him Home” for the first time here. Thank you so much, and RIP Kyle.

The Signs as Stereotypical Theatre People

ARIES: The one person who yells at people for being in their way or doing things that screw them over. Probably pretty cutthroat when it comes to getting their way, would be the one person to actually survive in show business.
TAURUS: Assistant stage manager who wants to be in charge, but isn’t. Probably bitter that they never got cast in anything, and will hold onto that fact until they die.
GEMINI: The one who never shuts up backstage and in rehearsal, yet somehow never gets yelled at. Also, has the most energy of anyone, and is somehow never tired.
CANCER: The one who falls in love with their character in every way possible. The most upset when the show is over, and will remember it for the rest of their life. Loves every play or musical they ever see.
LEO: The supporting who can’t stand being out of the spotlight, and tries to be the star of the show anyways. Has been acting since they were 3, knows that they’re good, and flaunts it.
VIRGO: Techie who gets no recognition but is pretty much the glue of the entire show. Fixes literally every set piece and organizes backstage.
LIBRA: Hardcore method actor, takes on the persona of their character outside of rehearsal. It pays off in the end though, because every time they go on stage they do perfectly.
SCORPIO: The one who is phenomenal in dramatic roles, because they know perfectly how to translate their own struggles into a character. (#mylifegoals)
SAGGITTARIUS: The one who isn’t even technically in the production, yet is somehow always there doing stuff (she doesn’t even go here…) Probably promoting the show and handing out flyers to random strangers
CAPRICORN: The director who wants perfection and nothing less. Will replace you just as soon as they will put you on their stage. That’s show business, bitch.
AQUARIUS: the person who is just naturally a good actor without even trying at all. Makes it look easy, has a super laid back acting style. Also the one person who is never stressed out during tech or show week.
PISCES: The actor who has to analyze every last thing and look for the meaning behind every line and every motivation. (which is actually something you should do, take notes people) Knows every single show on the face of the earth.

Theatre Tips: Line Memorization

Memorizing lines can be the bane of your existence as an actor/actress. Here are a couple of tips to help you memorize them as quick as lightning.

  1. Try and read your script at least once every day. If you can’t sit to read the whole script, just read the scenes you’re in. Repetition is key, but make sure you memorize straight out of the book; practice makes permanent, not perfect.
  2. Write down long lines. When you’re sitting in class, or at rehearsal, start to write down your lines as best as you can from memory. Then, compare them to the script to see how well you know them. This works best with monologues, but can work with dialogue, too.
  3. Use the rehearsal schedule. If you know you’re blocking Act II Scene 3 on Thursday, make sure you’ve memorized your lines in Act II Scene 3 by Wednesday. Also, always remember; once you’ve blocked a scene, you should be off-book the next time you do it.
  4. Highlight your lines in purple. No, seriously. Since purple is a darker color and a bit harder to read through, your brain will focus on the words more, making you memorize faster. Use a purple highlighter, though, not a marker; you still want to be able to read it.
  5. Don’t just memorize your own lines. Make sure you know the whole scene inside and out, so you know when to come in, and are able to improv or pick up a line if someone drops something.
  6. Run, run, run! Run lines as often as possible. Preferably, with your scene partner. However, you can use anyone available.