We have wanted to write a musical theater style tribute to Critical Role for quite some time. ‘willing’ is based on the 44th episode, ‘The Sunken Tomb’, which was, without a doubt, one of the most powerful and plot-rocking moments in the whole show.
its been days since this day began. you don’t remember when you woke up. what time was it then? what time it is now? all you know is 8:00 PM EST is not only eight hours away.
there are people from a simpler time, reclining back in their chairs. “remember hamilton?” they ask, voice weak with age. we all remember hamilton.
you know that ben platt will win best performance by a leading actor in a musical. everyone knows that ben platt will win best performance by a leading actor in a musical. the jury is out if ben platt knows this.
“but lucas steele’s performance was so astounding, and taxing!” “brandon uranowitz is such a great guy!” you hear wilting voices cry, “gavin creel’s voice is a gift from g-d!” another whispers. someone grabs your ankle, leaning in to give you their dying words "andrew rannells…. Did That….“ you are not allowed to listen to them. they will only conflict you more
you want to liveblog the tonys. no one wants to watch you liveblog the tonys. your voice has been silenced.
nastasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 is a long, long name. it seems longer everytime you say it. you think it grows stronger the closer it gets to the awards.
there will be an affectionate parody of Prologue from the musical that is now too long, and you are too fearful of to name. everyone will get up to get food during this scene. the actors sing out into the void, but you are only refilling the popcorn.
Hello, Dolly! is set to win best revival. the gays suffer in silence, What Would I Do? plays softly in the background. they are in denial. the next stage of grief is anger. you fear for the american theater wing
generations of theatre fans rise from their beds to lie in front of the screen. they watch the awards, muttering under their breathe that falsettos was robbed. they do not know if it is 2017 or 1992
"miss saigon?” they ask, “what’s miss saigon?” you sometimes think you are the only one with the answer, and sometimes you think the same questions.
one of my favorite things as a theater fan is when you’ve been listening to a new musical for awhile and you suddenly realize that you’re /finally/ able to sing along to the songs!! like!!!! it’s so satisfying to realize that you’ve learned the words after listening for so long
‘Hell and Back’ is based on Critical Role’s episode 72, ‘The Elephant in the Room.’ This episode features a pivotal moment for Vex'ahlia, as she reflects on her struggles with self worth, her resolution towards forgiveness, and the recent loss and resurrection of Percy.
It’s an amazing moment, and we hoped to capture some of the tension and character growth with a little musical theater flair!
“I’m just saying, most people have it figured out by 18.” He complained. Connor rolled his eyes but kept quiet. He’d had this argument too many times.
“Larry.” Cynthia tried to shush him to avoid a fight. “Let him be.”
“But Cynthia, he’s 18 already, he should have found his soulmate by now!” Larry continued on. “It’s just how it goes! I don’t understand why he has to be so different!”
That’s when Connor had enough.
“Unbelievable.” He muttered as he got up from the breakfast table. “Sorry to disappoint you, Larry, but this stupid thing isn’t exactly a map.” He half-yelled while pointing at his soulmate tattoo. “You got off easy! You guys have halves of the same picture! Zoe’s been dating for years because so many people have stars and she convinced herself they’re all the same, but now she figured out there’s a person who has the same styled stars she does! The font! The freaking font is the same! Good for her! But this?” Connor points to his arm again, “I’ve never seen this damn tree in my life, except on my arm. I’m not sure it even exists! Maybe it’s a fluke! Either way, I can’t change it, I was BORN with it! If anything, be mad at the universe. Just get off my back!”
Connor finally finished his rant, grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house. All of the things he told Larry, were all things he’d tried to explain to him before. He just wouldn’t get it.
The societal pressure to find your soulmate, the person to complete you and make you happy, was… A lot. And Larry was right, most people met their soulmates in their teenage years. Of course there were exceptions, so Connor being 18 and without a soulmate shouldn’t be the end of the world, but in Larry’s mind, like always, Connor not being exactly who he wanted him to be, was disappointing.
When Zoe found her soulmate, only 6 months ago, Larry was happy for her and then immediately questioned how come Connor, the older brother, hadn’t found his.
Connor kicked an empty beer can as he stomped towards his high school. He didn’t want to admit it to Larry, but the constant nagging got to him. He started getting nervous about his soulmate too. Maybe they didn’t exist? It would make sense. Connor’s soulmate tattoo was strange compared to most’s.
Most soulmate tattoos were either halves of the same picture, similar by design or soulmates would have a tattoo representing the other.
Connor’s tattoo was the most unreal looking tree he’d ever seen. The concept of a tree as a soulmate tattoo alone was quite unusual, and the tree on Connor’s arm was indeed strange. It looked almost cartoon like, with a too straight of a trunk and strange little twigs holding all the strange little leaves above the whole tree.
All his life, Connor would be on the look out for a tree like that, but he’d never seen one. He started to believe that this kind of tree didn’t exist and therefore his soulmate wouldn’t either.
Great. It was barely 8am and Connor was in a foul mood. Maybe being at school wasn’t such a good idea.
“Hey Murphy, looking murderous as usual!” Came an annoying voice somewhere in front of Connor in the hall. Kleinman…
“What the fuck do you want now, Kleinman?” Connor murmured a reply.
“Nothin’. Just making conversation.” Kleinman smirked back.
“Well go do it somewhere else.” Connor shot back. Kleinman got on his nerves and he seemed to enjoy it.
Kleinman lifted his arms in a defensive manner.
“Geez okay, no need to make me the first target of your school shooting!”
Connor saw red. He knew he wasn’t a nice guy, but fuck did Kleinman have the nerve to call him a-
“Jared, stop…” Came a quiet, frankly scared sounding voice.
Surprised, Connor lifted his head to see a nervous looking boy standing slightly behind Kleinman.
Hansen, was it?
“What? I’m just saying-”
“Fuck off, Kleinman. I mean it.” Connor spit out before he could stop himself. It had been a bad morning and it wouldn’t take much to get him angry enough for physical confrontation.
Kleinman rolled his eyes and then turned around to walk the hallway to the opposite direction. “That is why you shouldn’t do drugs, kids!” He screamed, pointing at Connor while he went.
“Fucking asshole…” Connor muttered under his breath to not particularly anyone.
Connor felt a presence and turned his head to see Hansen still standing there, a step closer to Connor than he was before, looking extremely nervous. That seems to be the kid’s branding.
“What are you looking at?” Connor asked, immediately regretting his angry tone. After all, the kid had defended him, if you could call it that.
“I- uh, I just-t wanted to ssay sorry.” Came the reply.
“Why?” Connor asked, genuinely confused.
“F-for Jared, I mean. He- he can be…” Hansen tried to explain but Connor cut in.
Hansen blushed. “I- well, uh, yeah, but see, he-he’s not t-terrible, he’s just…” Hansen struggled to find a word and then finally settled for: “Jared.”
Connor huffed out a small laugh. “Sure. Still, it’s not your problem, you don’t have to apologize for him.”
Hansen blushed again. Another thing he seemed to do quite a lot.
“I know, I just… It was, you know, un-uncalled for. So… Yeah.” He mumbled.
“Well, it’s all cool, dude.” Connor replied, trying to reassure the visibly nervous boy.
Hansen seemed pleased by this. “Okay. Well. C-cool?” He replied, turning away from Connor, but he seemed hesitant. After a few seconds he turned around to face Connor again.
“B-by the way, I uh, I like your tattoo.” He finally said.
That made Connor freeze in his spot. He glanced at his arm, where the tattoo on his forearm was visible, since he had his sleeve rolled up.
“You… You do?” He asked, completely unsure how to react.
“Yeah.” Hansen said, now seeming a bit more confident in his speech. “Dragon’s blood tree is one of my favorites.”
Connor felt like he couldn’t breathe. “The what?”
Hansen took a step closer to Connor and pointed at his tattoo. “Dragon’s blood tree? Dracena Cinnibaris. It’s one of my favorite species. It naturally only exists in one place on the earth. Some say it looks alien, like it doesn’t belong on earth, but I… I really like it.” He explained with weird passion in his voice.
Connor couldn’t find words. Never had anyone commented on his tattoo, other than to ask what the hell it was. This Hansen kid actually knew what it was and it meant something to him and it seemed like his love for the tree wasn’t very trivial either. Wait… It meant something to him…
“Well, anyway… I should- I should get to class. So, uh, bye.” Hansen mumbled before finally walking away. All Connor could do was stare at his blue shirt disappearing into the crowded hallway.
The bell rang. Connor still didn’t move.
Finally, as the reality of what just happened dawned on him, he found his words again.
“Holy fucking hell.”
Send me Dear Evan Hansen prompts if you have any fic ideas you want to see written! My inbox is open!
Kima and Allura sort out their feelings. (takes place sometime between Critical Role episodes 57 and 58)
Here’s the FIRST DEMO of my Kima and Allura duet! I love these two so much, and wanted to explore what they might have happened between them in their past and while they were waiting for Vox Machina to return.
Scene Premise: Allura is meditating, working on the arcane barrier protecting Whitestone, and Kima is impatiently waiting in the room.
Now that the demo is done, I’d really love to flesh this out into a more polished musical number. If you’d like to help at all (piano transposing, adding other instruments, redoing the composition, lyric change suggestions, singing for either singing part!) PM or message me!
What if Evan did know Connor better before he took his own life? What if that scene where Heidi asks him about Connor Murphy had gone differently?
Evan stared at his laptop screen. He willed himself not to cry anymore. He’d spent the last few days on the verge of tears and it was exhausting. Of course, not nearly as exhausting as the dull, constant pressure on his chest.
His laptop had been opened on a picture of Connor for the past 30 minutes. The picture of Connor. The only picture of him he had, the only picture he took of him.
The only picture he could ever take of him.
Evan’s head was aching from the days of crying. All he could think about, was the last time he saw Connor. If only he could’ve been able to tell Connor was in so much pain… If only he knew about how he was treated at home… If only he hadn’t been too blinded by his ‘I love you’ to ask more questions… If only he hadn’t let him walk away from him that day…
Great, here come the tears again.
Suddenly Evan heard his mother’s footsteps approaching his door. Evan quickly wiped his face on his shirt collar and cleared his throat.
His mother came in carrying a pile of papers. College scholarship essay contests, it turned out. His mother was so excited about what college could be for Evan, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than Connor, let alone college.
After making plans for a taco tuesday and essay subject brainstorming session with his mother, she went quiet for a minute before speaking up again.
“Hey. I, um, I got an email from your school today. About a boy who killed himself? Connor Murphy? I didn’t, I had no idea.” She carefully explained.
Evan felt his heart stop. He was not prepared to talk about this with anyone. He was not expecting for his mother to bring it up. To bring him up.
“Oh. Yeah. Well… I didn’t really know him.” Evan lied, trying to end the conversation where it started.
“You know that… if you ever, if you want to talk about anything… I realize that lately it must feel like, I’m always working or I’m in class…” His mother explained guiltily.
“It’s fine.” Evan assured her.
“Well, I’m here. And if I’m not here here, I’m a phone call away. Or text. Email. Whatever.” His mother said, giving him a warm, sympathetic look.
“Thanks.” Evan replied, really hoping this was the end of the conversation.
Yet, his mother still stood in the middle of his room. She still had something to say.
“All right. It says 'Connor.’” Heidi finally said, pointing at Evan’s cast.
Evan froze for a moment. He’d completely forgotten the signature on the cast. Even though Connor had made it enourmous. 'I like to mark my territory.’ He’d said.
“Oh. Yeah. No.” Evan tried to deny it, but he felt hot tears behind his eyes. No, not now.
“You said you didn’t know him.” His mother questioned.
“No. I didnt. This is…” Evan began, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His brain felt numb. His whole body felt numb. He’d managed to hide Connor from his mother, but this… This was too much. He could barely get himself out of bed, and now his mother had straight up confronted him about it. There was no way he could lie his way out of this.
Suddenly he burst into tears.
Heidi stood still, shocked, for a second before flying to her son’s side, wrapping her arms around him.
“Oh honey.” She said, brushing Evan’s short blond hair as he cried. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked.
Evan needed time to catch his breath. After some deep inhales followed by slow exhales, he was finally able to get some words out between sobs.
“I don’t- he- we weren’t… No one knew we were… friends.” He tried to explain.
“Why not?” Heidi questioned softly.
“We- we’re… We were-” Evan hiccuped, “so different. A-and people… People don’t understand.” He explained.
“Oh sweetie… I’m so sorry.” Heidi said, her heart breaking at the sight of her son so devastated. “I can’t imagine what losing a friend feels like.”
“I-I loved h-him.” Evan sobbed.
“I know, honey, I’m so sorry.” She continued to brush his hair in an attempt to comfort him.
“No, I r-really lo-loved him.” Evan tried to explain, sobs completely taking over his body now.
And Heidi understood. She had no idea Evan had anyone he spent his time with, let alone someone he loved. Suddenly she felt such anger. How could his poor son, who had been lonely for years, lose the person he loved, having finally found them? The world was a cruel place and she wanted nothing more than to protect her son, but now all she could do was hold him as he cried his heart out.
“I’m so sorry.” She kept repeating as Evan cried and cried.
For a long while, Heidi just held Evan and let him cry. It had been a long time since Evan let her this close, let her see how he felt.
After Evan finally calmed down, Heidi sat and listened to him talk about Connor Murphy. Evan had a million stories about how he was intimidated by Connor when they first met and how they’d go on rides in Connor’s car and how he’d drawn pictures of Evan even though he protested. How he helped Evan through anxiety attacks and how Evan helped him through withdrawals. How he told Evan he loved him and how even though it lead to Evan having an anxiety attack, it was the best day of Evan’s life. How everyone saw him as a bad guy but how Evan thought he was the most caring person he’d met.
She never got the chance to meet him, but through Evan’s stories and the small smile that graced his features when he did, Heidi got to love Connor Murphy too.
As unbelievably painful as losing the person you love is, she was glad Evan had these memories, these moments with Connor. She’d never seen him with such spark in his eyes than when he talked about Connor.
That night, when she went to bed, Heidi looked up at the night sky and silently thanked Connor Murphy and wished he was no longer in pain.
In another room of the house, Evan dug up the note Connor had left for him, held it tight and did the very same thing.
If you have any ideas for deh fics, do send them my way, I’d love to write your prompts. My inbox is open! x