The past five weeks.
so since the 31st of may, I’ve honestly had the best time ever as my girl finally got to fly out to let me show her around England. Things and places that were normal, or maybe even boring to me were suddenly painted with a new colour because she was always there with me. I couldn’t really imagine what it would be like to go back to how things were, nor did I want to, but I guess time finally caught up with us and we had to say our farewells this morning. It was really really hard, and it still is now that I’m home sitting in my room and everything is silent. I miss being able to reach over to find another hand to hold, or if i’m lucky a hug & kiss. nothing says ‘i love you’ like a good ol’ hug & kiss. and it’s silly that im sad really, because it’s not like i’m never going to hear from her again. i’m already anticipating my next flight over there in december, and can’t wait to get a call on skype in the early hours of the morning. but deep down i know nothing can emulate the feeling of warmth when she sleeps next to me, nor can i take her places and carry half of H&M in my hands as she tries on clothes. there’s so much i’m going to have to wait for, but as far as i’m concerned there’s nothing that i have in my life that makes me feel like she does, so i’ll never stop waiting if that’s what it takes.
i guess i should say thank you nikki, for always accepting me, no matter what I do or say. thank you for giving me confidence in myself, for making me feel like I’m worth it and that there’s no one you’d rather be with. thank you for affecting me on this emotional level, even though i’m lost now it reminds me that there’s happiness out there, and that things will be easier one day. lastly thank you for being warm, immature, funny, lovely, smart as fuck, gorgeous, affectionate, and the sweetest girl in the whole wide world. chin up shmoopy, i adore you!