I'm a woman and other women have made my life a living hell first in school and then at work and people wonder why I'm studying in STEM now. No man has ever been as cruel as those women and it's been different people every time. So no harrasment huh?
Nope, you just experienced internalized misogyny! /s
“A Church for My Princess”: Tragic Life of Grand Duchess Elizabeth Mikhailovna of Russia
Grand Duchess Elizabeth Mikhailovnawas born in Moscow Kremlin on 26 May 1826 as the second daughter of Grand Duke Michael Pavlovich of Russia (youngest brother of Tsars Alexander I and Nicholas I) and Grand Duchess Elena Pavlovna. She was named after her aunt, the Empress Elizabeth, wife of Tsar Alexander I. The Empress Elizabeth was a close friend of Elena Pavlovna so it was understandable that she decided to named her second daughter after the lonely and kindhearted Empress.
Elizabeth was nicknamed “Lili” and she and her sisters grew up and educated at the Mikhailovsky Palace in St. Petersburg. Their education was carefully supervised by their admirable and highly-intelligent mother. Elizabeth was considered the prettiest among the sisters, but she was delicate, less animated, melancholic and reserved. She was also sensible, and had an extreme love of music. Elizabeth and her cousins frequently spend time together, especially when there were balls and other occasions at the Winter Palace. She was closest to Alexandra Nikolaevna (daughter of Tsar Nicholas I), to whom she shared almost the same age. Sadly, these women shared the same fate too.
When Elizabeth was 17, Adolf, Duke of Nassau (later Grand Duke of Luxembourg) came to visit St. Petersburg at the invitation of the Emperor. Grand Duchess Elena Pavlovna had always cherished a dream of marrying off her eldest daughter Maria to the Hereditary Prince of Baden, and Elizabeth to the Duke of Nassau. At the same time, Empress Alexandra (wife of Tsar Nicholas I) were hoping that Adolf would choose their unmarried daughter Olga. Olga had been also a prospective bride to Prince Frederick William of Hesse-Kassel but the gallant prince fell in love instead to Olga’s younger sister Alexandra. So Olga was left with no future husband again.
The Emperor then intervened and said that Adolf is free to make his own choice between the two cousins. But Elena was concerned that Adolf might prefer Olga because she was the daughter of the Emperor. In the end, Adolf chose Elizabeth to be his wife, as the couple seemed to have fallen in love already.
Elizabeth and the Duke of Nassau got married in St. Petersburg, few days after her cousin Alexandra’s wedding to the
Prince Frederick William
of Hesse-Kassel. The ‘double’ wedding in the imperial family caused so much festivities. Few days after their wedding, Elizabeth and Adolf left Russia for Nassau. The climate in Nassau was far more favorable and mild compared to that of St. Petersburg.
They settled in Biebrich Castle in Wiesbaden. In here, Elizabeth was extremely happy, full of life and charm. She didn’t require to embellish her residence by her imagination, for scarcely on the world is a more lovely place to be found than Nassau; but Elizabeth could appreciate this as a special happiness. She was well-loved by her people and travelers reported her happiness.
However, that summer, a tragic news arrived from St. Petersburg: her cousin Alexandra had died with her newborn baby. Everyone was shocked, especially Elizabeth, who had only celebrated their wedding together that winter. In the months that followed, she began to convince herself that she would died in childbirth as well. Unfortunately, just a year after her wedding, Elizabeth died giving birth to her daughter, who didn’t survive as well.
Duke Adolf was so devastated that he fainted away, and had only just time to administer the last sacraments to the expiring Duchess. She made but one request in dying, that her body might never be put underground. Duke Adolf was at first inconsolable. He visited her corpse and the infant’s everyday; and said to a favourite attendant, pointing to them, “There lies all my happiness.”
His grieved so profoundly that he decided to build a church
that will house the remains of Elizabeth. He obtained the money for this church, with the blessing of Tsar Nicholas I, from her dowry. On May 25, 1855 the church was finally dedicated in honour of St. Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist and patron saint of the deceased Duchess.
Shortly afterwards, the coffin containing the late princess and her baby was taken in a procession from the Bonifatiuskirche, its previous temporary shelter, into the crypt of the Russian church and buried there. The church rises above the Nero Valley near in Wiesbaden so that Adolf could still see the church from his residence.
The sculptor Hopfgarten has immortalized Elizabeth’s features in the marble. Elizabeth’s death was a great sorrow for Adolf and it took many years before he remarried. But he wasn’t able to forget the memory of his beloved first wife.
I also lean more on women and tbh at a point in my life I thought my attraction to guys was compulsory heterosexuality bc I saw some terfs saying that bi girls doesn't exist and we are in fact "lesbian victims of the patriarch" and this had a really negative impact on me bc I started to feel guilty for still being attracted to guys and I tried to ignore it for a long time bc pll of my own community said my sexuality didn't exist
ur beautiful, ur sexuality is 100% valid, and terfs are scum
Honesty moment: this move and the massive lead up to it stressed me out more than I care to admit. The living in limbo, no sure when things where happening along with living in a mouldy home has meant that I’m currently battling some pretty big body demons. But this post is a reminder to myself that I am already on the road back to a healthier me, that my body and my weight don’t define me and I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I am so grateful to have some incredible women in my life and online who remind me that I am more than my weight. 💙💗 #Missi #bodydemons #selflove #lifestress #lifewithanxiety #bodypositive #womensupportingwomen
To act and react - why being honest is so important
Now this may sound a little biased, so first off I want to make clear that I don’t expect every woman to be like the example described below. It was merely the way I experienced a few women in my life and I noticed a repeating pattern, which was the reason why I decided to write this post. Also, while I am aware that there are many different sexualities, I’m going to talk about a heterosexual example here.
I experienced that in general a lot of girls feel lonely but don’t put in the effort of initiating conversations and getting to know guys. This may stem from a biological reason, but everyone knows that social expectations and upbringing have their play in this too. But we’ll skip that part now because it’s not relevant to the point.
So in other words many girls are passively waiting for something to happen but don’t feel motivated to act on their own. They simply react to actions coming from people around them. What I also noticed is that they do not ask for a confirmation to presumptions they may have. They simply perceive something that is offered or presented to them, and say yes or no to it.
Now for our example, let’s start with the stereotypical cliché movie situation of a girl sitting at the bar and a guy offering to buy her a drink. The girl doesn’t even find him attractive, but she appreciates free drinks. So what does she say?
Here’s the tricky part: Many girls are still told by their parents that they must 1. always be polite and 2. please men. …Which is both total bullshit. This probably makes even reacting the right way difficult for them, and so the one who initiates an action often doesn’t get a clear response, or even none at all.
So, back to our scenario where the girl has just been offered a drink. She looks at the guy, blushes, slowly mutters something but doesn’t turn away. They hang out, get to know each other better, and even start meeting up over the next couple of weeks. But the girl actually finds a lot about him really annoying, though she keeps quiet about it “out of politeness”. So what does the guy in our example do? Wanting to get out of the awkwardness of being new and unfamiliar with someone, he will naturally continue trying to push for boundaries, and seeing that she doesn’t say no to his actions, he understands that it is fine with her.
But now imagine that despite being uncomfortable, the girl simply endures it all, keeps giving unclear messages or even says yes “out of politeness” to things she absolutely doesn’t feel okay with.
Now let’s picture a scenario where the guy suggests having sex with her. In case she didn’t already pressure herself into saying yes, we can now picture that at some point the active party starts to believe that if she didn’t say “no”, she is still indecisive about it. So in his mind, a “maybe” could potentially still turn into a “yes” if he puts enough effort into convincing her.
If the girl now still keeps quiet about her true opinion, he will continue pushing more buttons and this could lead to a catastrophe (in other words: a huge drama with a lot of crying)
Girls… Please don’t be afraid to speak up for yourselves and let people know where your boundaries are as soon as possible. Don’t feel pressured to endure things you don’t feel comfortable with or bottle things up until you absolutely can’t take it anymore, because in the end this will only make it harder for everyone involved and may even leave mental scars. Don’t be afraid - we are not in the middle ages anymore and nobody gets punished for saying no to somebody!
You, like everyone else, have the freedom of choice and personal opinions when it comes to deciding who you want to hang out with or date. Please always keep that in mind, because it will spare you and everyone around you a lot of drama and pain.
“There’s been a bit of a sad moment for her. She’s sitting on a car, waiting for everyone to come out, and she’s clearly been upset. The guys come out of the building and Harley turns around and kinda just wipes away the tears and is suddenly happy again. I was just like “Oh god, she’s hurting so much but she’s making a joke.”
That is so what women do. It’s like, women totally do that for the sake of not making it uncomfortable for family members, to like, put on a brave face for their kids. I watched my mom, I watched so many women in my life, and it’s just like, they will swallow all of that and just… Women are tough, man.“
A woman does not have to reveal any aspect of herself she does not wish to; be it her past, her thoughts or her body.
She was not put on this earth to satisfy your curiosity - she is a person in her own right and what she shares with you is HER choice, not your entitlement.
If you respect her boundaries, allow her to have her privacy and let her get to know you, you will earn her trust and slowly she will reveal the parts of herself she wishes you to see.
Intimacy - be it physical or emotional - takes time to build. Give her your unconditional love, acceptance and respect and in time if she deems you worthy, she will reveal her true self to you.
I’m not a shy person. At least, I never used to be. When I was younger, I made friends like they were candy - my mother used to be introduced to at least four thousand new faces every time she let me loose at a public pool. I relished new faces, new ideas, new adventures.
I’ve noticed this a lot in my life, especially as I’ve gotten older, so I like to be adventurous with how I dress. Maybe I’ll wear an oversized gaudy sweater, or a deep shade of lipstick, like whatever the fuck, and I get so many weird looks from basic ass white girls who dress the same way everyday and honestly know nothing about fashion or any type of expression. I know I look great and I feel great and I feel as if I get comments and stares because I dare to express my personality and because I’m a carefree person, who happens to be black. I remember one time I wore a fun Hawaiian print Tshirt in high school and these white girls were laughing at what I was wearing, like sorry I choose not to wear thin ass yoga pants and a basic ass tee every day with a dirty pair of keds and call it an outfit. I feel as though the extra mile to judge what I wear has something to do with me being black but whatever. I also feel as though white people expect us to dress a certain way, which ties into their general racism.
To the black girls who feel this way too, don’t let Becky get to you. You are a beautiful, vibrant soul and you should keep doing you 😀 be bombastic and colorful and if you want to be mellow then do that too, because it’s what makes you comfortable.
I’ve noticed this a lot in my life, especially as I’ve gotten older, so I like to be adventurous with how I I dress. Maybe I’ll wear an oversized gaudy sweater, or a deep shade of lipstick, like whatever the fuck, and I get so many weird looks from basic ass white girls who dress the same way everyday and honestly know nothing about fashion or any type of expression. I know I look great and I feel great and I feel as if I get comments and stares because I dare to express my personality and because I’m a carefree person, who happens to be black. I remember one time I wore a fun Hawaiian print Tshirt in high school and these white girls were laughing at what I was wearing, like sorry I choose not to wear thin ass yoga pants and a basic ass tee every day with a dirty pair of keds and call it an outfit. I feel as though the extra mile to judge what I wear has something to do with me being black but whatever. I also feel as though white people expect us to dress a certain way, which ties into their general racism. To the black girls who feel this way too, don’t let Becky get to you. You are a beautiful, vibrant soul and you should keep doing you 😀 be bombastic and colorful and if you want to be mellow then do that too, because it’s what makes you comfortable